Original subtitles

Okay, everyone.

Unfortunately, the government just passed a new law.

Starting today all park employees must pass an annual

fitness test in order to keep their jobs.

I know. I know.

I don't want to be here any more than you do.

So let's get this over with so we can get back to work.

Ripped By mstoll

All right, guys.

Last part of the test.

Just do one pull-up, and we can get out of here.

Hup!

Dude, this test was so easy.

I know, right?

What a waste of time.

You want to go play some video games after this?

Ye-e-ah, I do!

Mordecai! Rigby!

Quit talking and get on the bar!

See you on the other side.

Boom!

Time to show all you chumps how to do a pull-up like a real man!

Whomp-whomp!

Wh-whomp... who-o-mp!

Stop talking!

Come on, dude!

Quit messing around and just do the pull-up.

I'm trying!

Oof!

Oh, man!

You can't even do one pull-up?

Yes, I can!

It was only because you distracted me

with that stupid noise!

Oh, so it was the noise's fault that you can't do a pull-up.

Is that it?

Yes! Yes!

It was that stupid noise!

Fine. Then go again.

Don't make that noise again!

I won't.

I promise.

Whomp-whomp! Wh-who-o-mp!

Cool it, Muscle Man.

Let's go, Rigby. Just do the pull-up.

Oh, how embarrassing!

Dude, come on!

Oh, man!

He can't even do one pull-up!

I'm sorry Rigby, but I can't give

you a passing grade on the test.

If you can't do a pull-up by the end of the week,

I'm gonna have to fire you.

But...

Whatever, I was just tired!

I'll be able to do a pull-up.

You'll see.

Time to warm up with some gym class.

"Because you know it's better than the real thing."

Dude, what are you doing?

What does it look like?

I'm training to do a pull-up.

Dude, that's not doing anything!

If it's not doing anything,

then how come I'm already breaking a sweat?

Um, I don't know.

Maybe because you're really out of shape?

Does this look like I'm out of shape?

Whoo-hoo! Whoo!

Carbo-loading!!

Rigby, you got to take this seriously!

Oh, I got to take it seriously?

Is this serious enough for you?

Benson, I'm ready to do my pull-up now.

All right.

Let's get this over with.

Here's how we do it in gym class, losers.

Well?

I'm trying!

Come on, Rigby.

Just get it over with.

You have until Friday.

Hey, Rigby.

Is anything wrong?

No. I'm fine.

Are you upset 'cause you can't do a pull-up

and you might get fired?

What?! Who told you that?

Muscle Man was in here earlier.

He was selling tickets to watch you fail.

Maybe he's right.

I can't believe I'm gonna lose my job over a stupid pull-up.

You know, maybe I can help you.

I was on the Pep Squad in High School.

Thanks, Eileen,

but I'm gonna need a lot more than pep to do a pull-up.

Training starts after my shift.

All right! Give it a try!

Ugh, this is too hard.

I think I see the problem.

You're not visualizing your own success.

Huh?

You need to see it.

Close your eyes.

Now visualize yourself doing a pull-up.

I can't.

Come on, you're not trying!

Close your eyes and really concentrate.

What do you see?

A grilled cheese sandwich.

Okay, okay.

Picture that sandwich.

Now picture your goal... doing that one pull-up.

Can you see it?

Whomp-whomp! Ugh!

Not cool, Bro.

One pull-up.

Can you see it?

Look, I'm almost...

Man, I almost had it!

We'll get there.

Come on, Rigby. We're almost out of time!

You can do this!

I can do this!

One pull-up! One pull-up!

One pull-up!

This is hopeless!

I'm never gonna be able to do this!

Rigby! Rigby, wait!

I know you can do it.

This is so lame.

Lame government fitness test.

Lame arms.

Why's it got to be so hard?!

Feeling weak?

Looking pathetic?

If you're watching television, you probably are!

Luckily, this TV commercial can save you!

If you want muscle fast, but hate working out,

then you need The Russian!

Yeah, I do.

The Russian uses electrotherapy to shock your muscles

into growing.

With no effort from you!

Just switch it on, and you'll be stronger in no time!

Thank you, The Russian!

Aw, yeah!

That's exactly what I need!

"Do not operate The Russian for more than 10 minutes a day."

Pfft!

Well, I want to get extra buff, so I'll leave it on for 11.

Those jerks better buy their tickets

for the Gun Show tomorrow!

Thanks, The Russian!

Where the heck is Rigby?

We're almost out of time!

Maybe his nerves got the better of him.

No, he'll be here.

He better.

'Cause I got a lot of people here

who paid good money to watch him try.

Let me remind you...

there are no refunds in the event of a no-show.

This is really weird.

Rigby trained really hard for this.

He wouldn't just blow it off.

I'll go check on him.

Rigby? Oh, there you are.

You got to...

It worked!

What did you do?!

I used The Russian to get totally ripped!

This is awesome!

Now to go bust out my pull-up!

Huh?

My muscles are too heavy!

I can't stand up!

Oh, Rigby, there are no shortcuts to physical fitness.

Oh, no, I'm gonna lose my job!

No, no, no, no!

Come on, you can still make it.

Aw, it's hopeless!

No, it's not!

There's still time!

Do what I say!

Close your eyes!

Now picture that pull-up bar!

Do you see it?

I see it!

I see the pull-up bar!

Then go do it!!

You're doing it!

Just use your arms!

Keep going! That's it!

Pfft, he's late!

What is that?

It's Rigby!

You've only got 30 seconds left!

Yes!!

Aah!

Rigby!

Rigby, you have 15 seconds to get up here and do a pull-up!

15 seconds?!

Whoa.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah!

Time!

You did it, Rigby!

You can stay at the park!

Rigby! Rigby, you were wonderful!

Thanks, Eileen.

I couldn't have done it without you.

I'd hug you, but I should probably wait till these

muscles go away.

I don't want to break your spine.

I'll take my chances.

Totally worth it.

Ripped By mstoll