All language subtitles for two.of.a.kind-vh-prod

Yes, yes.

This lad was sent to us
from a Chicago orphanage.

Up till the time that he went over the wall,
I mean escaped,

there was every indication that Lefty was
going to be with us for quite a long time.

-Lefty?
-Michael.

But I never heard him called anything
but Lefty.

And you considered him a bad boy?

Well, there aren't any bad boys
in a chaplain's book.

Difficult, yes.

Maybe a little too sharp
for his own good, shall we say?

I remember one time we organized
a charity bazaar here

and Lefty was the committeeman
in charge of the games of chance.

Well, he fixed every wheel.
He left us right after that.

And you have no idea where he went?

I have a very definite idea where he went.

You see, there was a carnival
in the town at the time

-and it left the same night that Lefty did.
-You think he went with it?

Remembering the bazaar, yes.

Then somebody sent me a picture postcard
of the show, unsigned.

I can't imagine who.

"Coney's Colossal Carnival."

-Yeah, I remember Lefty. Too well.
-Do you know where he is?

I spotted him the night he come aboard.
Only 17, 18, but smart.

For a while he was my partner.
I wasn't so bad-looking then.

He picked up this racket fast,

casing the chumps for me
and even telling a few fortunes.

Then he found out there was a lot more
dough in the dice and card hustles.

I used to tell him, "Lay off that stuff, Lefty.
You don't need it. You got eyelashes."

Had a way with women, huh?

You'll find out when you catch up with him.

That's him.

-And that was me, believe it or not.
-Where is he now?

Right after that picture was taken,
he got a little hot with the law

and joined the Navy to cool off.

Then the war came along
and caught him in a sailor suit.

Better try the Navy.

When you find him, give him a little
squeeze for me.

Maybe around the throat.

Straight message.

-That him?
-Yes. Oh, yes, that's him.

Wife desertion seems to be
one of his minor faults.

-His record's bad?
-Not in the service.

There's all kinds of citations here.
Volunteered for underwater demolition.

That's a tough racket!
And he was one of the best, apparently.

But outside of the line of duty,

he's got enough marks against him
to sink an admiral.

Suspected of crooked gambling, fighting,
several charges by women.

-Nothing ever proved, though.
-Do you know where he is now?

Yes, I do.

A request for his Insurance Refund
came in last month,

-from this address in Los Angeles.
-Los Angeles?

Yes. Why?

Why, that's where I started looking for him.
Well, back I go.

Before you type up the brief
on the Hotchkiss case, Miss Jennings,

please put those calls through. Yes.

-Miss Kirby calling, Mr. Mailer.
-Long distance?

-No, sir.
-Put her on. Hello.

-Miss Kirby. Any luck?
-Lots. Just got in from Washington.

I'm at the airport
and I'm going direct to my place.

I'll meet you and your attorney for dinner
this evening and we can discuss the case.

You come to my apartment in an hour.
I'll be busy this evening.

Well...

Very well. I'll meet you
at your attorney's office in an hour.

I've missed you, Brandy.

-Three months is a long time.
-Evidently.

-But I think we've found our boy.
-Where is he?

Well, I haven't got him
hidden under the bed, Vincent.

But he's here in LA
and I know exactly where.

How about that?

Looking for him all over the country
and he's right here in our backyard.

-What's he like?
-I don't know, yet.

But I intend to find out tonight.

No, I mean from the records.
You must know something about him.

-How's he shape up?
-An orphan.

About the right age.
Seems to have the proper outlook on life.

Looks, I don't know.
I've only seen two photographs of him.

One in a sailor suit and the other
in a fortune teller's arms.

But could be okay.
I'll let you know after tonight.

Don't worry,
I'm taking Todd along for protection.

Forty-nine. Fourth row.

Forty-nine. Fourth row.

Sixty-seven. Last row.

Sixty-seven. Last row.

Fifty-three. Fourth row.

Fifty-three. Fourth row.

Twenty-two. Second row.

Twenty-two. Second row.

Number 20. Second row.

Number 20. Second row.

I've been watching you, young lady.
You're not having much luck.

You need more than luck
to win in these joints.

That's where you're wrong, mister.
This might still be your lucky night

or the young lady's.

Possible winner. Hold your cards,
ladies and gentlemen, in case of an error.

-Fifteen.
-Fifteen.

-Twenty-two.
-Twenty-two.

-Forty-five.
-Forty-five.

-Fifty-six.
-Fifty-six.

-Seventy-two.
-Seventy-two.

-That's a winner!
-Hey, you won, baby! That calls for a drink.

You got $100 coming from the cashier.

We'll thank you to call them points.

You collect it for me, Todd, darling,
and bring me a drink.

Sure. Sure thing.

What are you so bored with, beautiful,
the game or the mug?

-Twenty-seven...
-He's not your type.

Take a powder before he gets back.
I'll meet you in the parking lot.

Forty-nine. Fourth row.

Forty-nine. Fourth row...

-Number 12...
-Give me the police and hurry.

...first row.

Never mind, chum, she's with me.
My car's over here.

-I didn't expect to be so lucky tonight.
-Neither did I.

I'm glad you spoke up. I was bored.

-You won't be, for long.
-I don't think so, either.

Hey, you!

-What's the matter, mister?
-Listen, fellow, nobody steals my girl! Here.

-Was she with you?
-Wise guy...

-Todd, wait a minute.
-That's all right, baby. I'll handle this.

There's a misunderstanding, Mac.
I don't fight. I'm a disabled vet.

I got a weak ticker.
I'm not supposed to get excited.

Well...

Let's go. Wait a minute!

-Almost forgot your winnings!
-Thanks.

Arrest this guy! I'll file charges.

Wise guy.

-Farrell.
-Farrell.

Assault and battery. Guilty plea.
$300 or 20 days?

Yeah, well, that's what I want to talk
to you about, you see...

Fine's been paid.

Beat it, trouble.

Aren't you going to thank me
for paying your fine?

Yeah. And thanks for the way you spoke up
when the cops arrived.

All you had to say was the big ape
was annoying you or something,

and I might not have gone to jail at all.

I wanted to see
how you'd make out with the police.

I gave my right name.

I know. So, you're clean, at the moment.
I'm glad.

Get in.

Slide over.

I don't like people to say "get in"
or "get out" in that tone of voice.

-I'll try to remember.
-Now, we're going to get along.

We'll see.
Drive someplace where we can talk.

Talk.

I've been looking for you
for a long time, Mike.

And I've been looking for you all my life.

-That's pretty corny, you know.
-I know. But I'll improve.

-What's your name?
-Brandy.

And I've heard all the jokes about it.

I meant it when I said I'd been looking
for you for a long time.

All the way from an orphanage in Chicago.

-And I thought it was my personality.
-That part was a pleasant surprise.

-I'll bet.
-By the way,

Father Lanahan and Minnie Mitt
send regards.

All right, let's see how deep the water is.
What do you need me for?

I don't need you, but maybe I can use you.

There's not a bill in there smaller than 100.

I got a job.

After throwing the game
and slugging one of the customers?

And I happen to know you're down
to your G.I. Insurance Refund.

Okay, so I'm a little short right now,
but that Bingo job was just a side-line.

I got 200 slot machines
in a warehouse across the line.

-I'm just waiting for things to open up, see.
-Nickel machines?

You know, you can be very unpleasant.

This is just a down payment.
Expense money.

-What's the loser's end?
-Penitentiary, naturally.

-Naturally. And the winner's?
-You get rich.

-And you?
-I get richer.

Money isn't everything.

I don't think I'd like the job.

-Maybe I spoke too soon.
-I think you'll like this job, Mike.

I can't say yes or no
until you tell me what it is.

I only tell you the first step
until I'm sure you're with us.

-Us?
-There's plenty to go around.

-We're shooting for millions.
-I like that kind of talk.

For this,

-you lose this.
-Come again?

I need a man who looks like you,
left-handed, about your age, an orphan,

with the tip of his left little finger missing.

I'm going to start falling apart soon enough.
Don't rush things.

You're a gambler. A lot of card dealers
have it taken off, don't they?

I understand the shadow of that tip
is the only way you can spot a fast shuffle.

Bright girl!

Okay.

I'll go along as far as the finger tip
for this role.

Good. Now, get back...

I mean, would you please
get back into the car, Mr. Farrell?

What are we doing here?

-You don't waste any time, do you?
-I wasted too much looking for you.

What do I do? Walk in and ask
the first quack I see to start chopping?

No, it has to look like an accident.

You walk in with a smashed finger
and tell them you caught it in a car door.

And how does it really get smashed?

In a car door.

-Gentle soul, aren't you?
-This is the best way.

Right to there.

Lipstick.
The doc's liable to think you've bit it off.

You'd better have a cigarette.

Do I make with the door or do you?

I do.

Look the other way.

Look me up, Snow White.
Don't fail to look me up.

We interrupt our musical program

to bring you the results of the eighth race
at Bay Meadows.

Number Six, Charm Boy, was the winner,
paying 10-80, 6-40 and 3-60.

Number Three, Ladies Man, place,
paying 5-60 and 4-20

and Number Seven,
Bandstand, showed, paying 7-40.

And now, back to Musical Highlights.

Temper, temper.
You should keep your door locked.

-How's the hand?
-Great! Where you been?

-I told you I'd be by.
-That was last night.

You're through drinking
this kind of hogwash, Lefty.

Don't call me Lefty.
I got a sudden dislike for the name.

Regretting your bargain already?

That dough didn't keep this baby
from throbbing all night and all day.

On account.

I knew there was something
besides the dough made me do it.

I just couldn't remember what it was.

-Are your bags in the closet?
-Why?

-I'll pack them.
-What for?

I've taken a place at the beach for you.
Salt water will heal that finger.

-I don't swim.
-What?

I thought you were a champ
in underwater demolition, pride of the Navy.

I said "don't swim," not "can't."
I just had enough, that's all.

All right, so you can go wading
and soak your finger.

-Three months ought to do it.
-The doc said two or three weeks.

It has to look old,
like you've had it for years!

Three months all alone in a cabin looking
at sand and salt water?

Uh-uh, baby.

I didn't say you'd be alone, Mike.

Remind me not to play poker with you.
You got too many cards up your sleeve.

Hey!

You've made your last pass with these.

Well, cozy and private.

I hope you remembered
to bring stuff for breakfast.

It's well-stocked.

-Welcome, wise guy.
-You remember Todd.

So, it was a frame-up
from the beginning, huh?

I don't leave things to chance.
Get the bags out of the car, Todd.

-Cozy and private.
-With rats.

-How long does Stupid stick around?
-Constantly.

-He can help you with that hand.
-Is he your partner?

Just a hired hand.

-The useful, all-around type.
-But there is a partner.

-Oh, yes.
-Male?

I don't trust women any more than you do.

Well, make yourself comfortable.
I've got to get back to town.

-Just a minute. I thought you said that...
-I said you wouldn't be alone.

That ape doesn't keep me from being alone.

I'll be down, Mike,
just as often as I can make it.

-Every couple of days.
-If it's longer than that, I won't be here.

Well, you boys try to get along.
I'll be seeing you.

Don't get any ideas about her.
She's a little busy.

-Yeah?
-Yeah, wise guy.

You know, I don't like you any more
than you like me.

Well, that's practically zero.

But we're gonna be stuck here
with each other for quite a while,

so we might as well
make the best of it, huh?

-Okay.
-No hard feelings?

Right.

That makes us even for the other night,
wise guy.

-Let's shake this guy early, huh?
-Why?

-That's a good question.
-Vincent may have other plans.

-Vincent?
-Excuse me.

Hello, Brandy.

-This is Vincent Mailer, Mike.
-Hello, Farrell.

-How does he look?
-About as you described him.

A little too much like a tinhorn gambler,
perhaps, but maybe that's good.

Yes, maybe that's good. Let's see the finger.

It's healed enough
to break a lot of bridgework.

You'll have to get used to me
making remarks about your appearance.

-Disparaging remarks included.
-This is business. It's perfect!

It's a good job. Yes, a good job.

You say it's business.
When does it become my business?

We couldn't tell you before,
in case we wanted to drop you. Now...

I'll make it brief.
Miss Kirby can fill in the details later.

That's a good idea.

A long time ago, a wealthy Pasadena couple
lost their son, an only child,

who'd lost the tip of his left little finger
when he was a small boy.

-They lost the kid?
-Exactly. They were on a trip to Chicago.

While she was shopping
with her three-year-old son,

Mrs. McIntyre fainted on a downtown street
and when she was revived,

the child had disappeared.

The father is William McIntyre,
the retired industrialist.

And I'm junior, with the short pinky, huh?

If and when we prove that, you will inherit
something in excess of 10 million dollars.

When they die.

Well, that shouldn't be long now.
That's why we've waited till now.

The McIntyres were middle-aged
when they lost the child.

Mr. McIntyre is in his 70s.
His heart is not sound.

Mrs. McIntyre has been almost an invalid
ever since the tragedy.

I don't know. It's been tried before.
Didn't they look around for the kid?

The search has been unending.

Well, they must have checked
and double-checked

every orphanage in the country.

For the last 15 years, Mr. Mailer has been
in complete charge of the search.

He's the McIntyre attorney.
He does the checking.

Well, it's nice to work with experts.

You'll take your instructions
from Miss Kirby

until we're ready for you to be brought
to the attention of the McIntyres.

You mean, I don't just walk in
and cry, "Papa"?

Definitely not.

You'll have to be discovered
by the McIntyres themselves.

All right, Farrell. I guess that's all for now.

-Just like that?
-I think he'd better stay, Vincent.

I want to start teaching him his lines.
He's not very quick.

I'll see you later.

-He's not your type, pet face.
-That's what you said about Todd.

Well, that kind of narrows the field,
doesn't it?

Your ancestral home.

Suppose we run into somebody
and they buzz me?

-What do I say?
-We won't. It's the caretaker's day off.

No dust. No cobwebs.

-But nobody's lived in it for a long time.
-Yeah. I can tell by the smell.

They closed it after the child was lost.

McIntyre promised his wife
it wouldn't be lived in until he was found.

-Where do they live?
-They have a house at the beach here,

and another in Florida.

Do you have any idea
why I brought you here?

Sure. My place isn't fancy enough?

Your place isn't private enough.
Vincent might walk in.

Keep your mind on business.
Do you remember that fireplace?

Naturally, I don't remember it.
I never saw it before in my life.

Finesse, baby. Sheer finesse.
You laid out this caper, didn't you?

Vincent doesn't have the brains.

-What about the fireplace?
-The fireplace.

-I wasn't very old then. How old was l?
-Two or three.

Still, I can remember
hanging my stocking right there.

The Christmas tree was over there.

-Over there.
-That's what I said, over there.

Now, take a good look around,

but memorize only the things
that would stick in a three-year-old's mind.

Daddy used to scoop me up in his arms
and carry me up the stairway.

-To the nursery.
-Yeah. To the nursery.

Now, don't overdo it, Hamlet.
Let's go up and see the nursery.

But first, I used to slip away from Daddy

and run and kiss Mommy good night,
like this.

I always wondered what I looked like
before I met Minnie.

This giraffe. Maybe you have dreams
and it keeps coming into them.

Mrs. McIntyre said it was his favorite toy.

Trouble is, I never see much of anything
except you in my dreams.

Mike, this is no time for nonsense.

This is one of the first places
Mrs. McIntyre will bring you.

Look, I haven't forgotten the 10 million,
but the other is no nonsense.

There'll be plenty of time to discuss that.

Say, if all this is going to be ours,
why don't we move in now?

-Lefty, you're difficult.
-I'm leveling.

I like you better than anything
I've ever run across.

Even Minnie Mitt?

Minnie was just practice
so I'd recognize class when I saw it.

I'm not sure I trust you, Farrell,
but here's something more on account.

They'll be back from Florida the next week.
Kathy is getting the beach house ready.

Better let them get settled
before I spring Mike on them.

I have a much better idea.

Mrs. McIntyre has been having
another bad spell

and the old man won't be seeing anyone
until she's improved.

Kathy's our best bet.

Are you sure?

Well, you said he had a way with women.
Something about eyelashes.

Minnie Mitt said it.

After seeing his effect on various persons,
I'm inclined to agree.

-The idea's all right. Good, in fact.
-Thank you so much.

Who's Kathy?

She's a niece of the McIntyres.
She's lived with them since she was a child.

Brandy is on social terms with her.

-And I make a play for her?
-Yes.

And their niece discovers the missing heir
and cuts herself out of 10 million bucks.

-Don't make sense.
-It will when you know Kathy.

She has no interest in money.

I thought you said
it was the old lady who was sick.

Kathy's an individualist.
A collector of characters.

One year it was skid row cases.
Last year it was animal trainers.

She's a bit of a screwball.

And this year it might be con men,
you hope.

Well, looks like
I'm going to earn my cut, huh?

-She's very pretty. You'll enjoy the work.
-I always have.

It wouldn't do any harm if she really fell
in love with Farrell. Would it, Brandy?

It would be real sweet, Vincent.

Let's go around this way.

-Ben? That you?
-Hello, Miss Kirby.

How are you, Ben? Miss Kathy about?

She just was here but...

Hey, Brandy!

Well, Mrs. Whistler! You taking up art?

Up to my ears. Good to see you again.

This is Michael Farrell, Kathy. Miss McIntyre.

Hiya! Brandy, you look swell.

Thanks. Thought we might pick you up
for a cocktail or a game of tennis.

It's been a long time.

I can't possibly. I'm up to my ears!
Aunt Maida and Uncle Will get here Sunday,

and the rest of the servants
don't report until Saturday.

I'm disappointed. I could leave Michael
here to help you with the heavy work.

Michael?

I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to laugh, but it's just the idea

of any of Brandy's boyfriends
doing manual labor struck me funny.

Well, he's yours if you need him.

Thanks, but golly, Brandy, the quickest way
to get anything done is to do it yourself.

How about dinner?
Michael could drive us to Santa Barbara.

Gee, Brandy, let's make it next week
when the folks are back.

I'm up to my ears.
Still got the boat to clean up.

-I'll give you a buzz.
-Okay.

-We'll see you later.
-Goodbye. Thanks for thinking of me.

-Nice meeting you, Mitchell.
-Thanks a lot.

One crack out of you and you'll walk home.

I'm sorry, but wait till I tell Vincent
how you bowled her over. Mitchell!

Ahoy, there!

Maybe I can give you a hand with that.

Ben, perhaps you'd better explain to
the young man that this is a private landing.

You're Brandy's friend!
Sorry I didn't recognize you.

Perfectly all right. It's probably my face.

Really nice of you to drop over.
Sorry I can't be more hospitable but I'm...

Up to your ears?

That's right.
Tell Brandy I'll call her real soon, Mr...

-Farrell. Michael Farrell.
-That's right.

Flopped again, huh? Maybe you're not
concentrating on your work.

There's a law against concentrating any
harder even when the dame's a screwball.

When Mr. and Mrs. McIntyre get back,
I'll map out a new plan.

Nothing doing. Vincent had an idea
and you had an idea. Now, it's my turn.

-And what do you propose?
-I'm not sure.

But I think that dame's going to look me
in the eye and remember me!

That's okay, bud.

-Hello, Miss McIntyre.
-You're a burglar, aren't you?

-Well, I just saw you alone and I...
-Saw me alone?

You're the kind of burglar that...

That lone women aren't safe with,
aren't you?

Yeah. If they look like you.

I don't suppose there's any use
my appealing to your better instincts,

-is there?
-None at all.

-Does Brandy know you're a crook?
-Nah!

No, of course she wouldn't.

You're the kind that uses society girls
to gain entrance into wealthy homes!

"Case 'em," you call it.
I've read about men like you.

You read too much.

I can't defend myself.
The servants went to a movie.

Do you tie me up or just knock me out?

The police!
You must have tripped the burglar alarm.

Look, I didn't come here for any reason
except to see you.

They won't believe that any more than I do.
And you've probably got a long record.

Wait a minute!

Hide in the station wagon in the driveway.
I'll get you out.

Hurry! Please, Michael, please.

-So now you remember my name, huh?
-Of course I do.

Well, he's not in the house.
We've got the place covered outside.

-Miss McIntyre, are you sure...
-Maybe he went into the water.

Maybe he had a boat!

We'll take a look along the beach, too.
You leaving?

I was just gonna take a little drive
and get some cigarettes when he broke in.

-Did you get a good look at him?
-I certainly did.

He came right for me,
just as close as you are now,

-only in the light.
-Better give me a description.

-Well, he was dark. Lots of dark hair.
-Typical thug, huh?

No! Nice hair, only lots of it.
He was rather handsome...

-Handsome?
-Yes.

Yes, handsome, I'd say,
in a dark sort of way.

He had rather high cheekbones,
nice solid jaw line.

Was he tall?

-So-so, I guess.
-So-so.

-What color suit was he wearing?
-Why... I didn't notice.

You didn't notice. Anything else?

Yes, he had exceptionally long eyelashes,
dark eyes, dangerous, of course...

-Oh, yes.
-But very bright, intelligent...

You've been very helpful.
Thank you, Miss McIntyre.

Thanks a lot, Miss McIntyre.
I hope this doesn't get you into any trouble.

-Give me your gun.
-Huh?

Your rod, your heater! Whatever you call it.

Why, I...
I threw it into the bushes when I ran.

Good.
You won't be needing it anymore, anyway.

You can just drop me at the nearest
cab stand or bus stop.

No, I won't!

-Why not?
-So you can go and rob somebody else?

You're not out of this yet.
You're in my custody.

You know, it took me a long time
to figure you.

When I was just another one
of Brandy's playmates, you couldn't see me.

I'm not interested in the kind of character
you appeared to be, if that's what you mean.

But now that you know I'm a crook,
you like crooks, don't you?

No. But I am interested in a man
who admits he's bad,

but who may have some good in him.

And now you're going to start
digging for it, huh?

Immediately.
I'm going to find a nice place to park

and we're going to start
working on you, Mr. Farrell.

Now...

Shall I loosen my tie
or take off my shirt or anything, Doctor?

You may as well start
right from the beginning.

How long have you been...

-Up to my ears in crime?
-Yes.

Well, I know this is going to be
a big disappointment to you,

but tonight was my first effort.

Naturally, you'd have to say that
in case I should change my mind

and turn you over to the police.

But I've got to find out just what type of
criminal I'm dealing with so I can help you.

Don't you see?

And you won't lay off
until you've helped me?

Absolutely not!

Well, you remember the
Grandma Hackamore case?

Somebody burned her tootsies with matches
until she handed over her life's savings?

Michael, you didn't!

I'm not confessing it, mind you.
Tell the police and I'll deny it.

Then there was that two-million-buck
robbery in Boston.

Michael, you?

This is going to take weeks!

-Maybe you'd better give it up, huh?
-Oh, no. Never.

I want to be a good influence on you,
Michael.

The moon is beautiful tonight, isn't it?

No, no, it's a little too bright.

Throws bad shadows
when you're crossing a lawn.

Makes you a sitting duck for the cops.

-Michael! You're steeped in crime!
-And right now, I'm a little tired.

You're up kind of late, aren't you?
Come on, let's get going. Come on.

Okay. We'll have lots of time.

It's 3:00!

I shouldn't have come with you
in the first place,

and I certainly shouldn't be
hanging around here now. It's very unwise.

Where is he?

We put you out here to keep an eye on him.
What happened?

-He just said he was going for a walk.
-Well, I've waited long enough. I'm leaving.

Why don't you? I'll wait and he can
drive me home when he gets here.

Put out the light.

That looks like Brandy's car.

Yeah. She lets me use it.

You were planning on stealing it,
weren't you? When you made your getaway.

-Maybe.
-Well, the getaway is out.

-I'll pick you up at 8:00.
-8:00? Hey, that's only five hours from now.

Couldn't you reform me in the afternoon
just as good?

Now, Michael, no backsliding.
I don't want to be in love with a crook.

Don't laugh! I've been in love before.

See?

Good night, screwball.

You promised there'd be no
monkey business

until this job was finished.

Has there been some monkey business?

-We were watching you through the window.
-Yeah? And what did we see?

We saw you kissing the babe good night,
wise guy.

Never mind that.
I came down here to discuss a new plan

-for getting you near the McIntyres.
-Well, you wasted the trip.

The babe you saw me kissing good night
was Kathy McIntyre, wise guy.

Todd, you better sleep
with one eye open tonight.

On second thought, Brandy, I think you'd
better take both of these guys with you.

You see, I'm supposed to live here alone
and I expect to have a lot of company.

What would that mean?

I'd be telling Minnie that I'd just heard
the chump beside me tell his friend

that his Aunt Lillian was coming to visit him
and he hopes she breaks her leg.

And then Minnie would read his mind
right in front of everybody.

She was a great mind reader.
Especially with me casing the mob.

It sounds fascinating.
How could you ever leave it?

-No money.
-But a lot more honest than burglary.

I told you, your place was my first job.
I was starting out on a new career.

Before that, I was just a gambler.

-With marked cards, I'll bet.
-Dice.

-I was the marked one when it came to cards.
-How?

Well, this would have tabbed me as a pro.
Lots of dealers have it clipped.

Yes, I've noticed it before.

Mike, if you should ever be around
Aunt Maida, try not to let her see that hand.

-Why not?
-Nothing. It's just a family thing.

You've got to teach me that.
What're you saying now?

Company coming.

-Hi, Brandy.
-Hi, kids.

-Mind if I make it a crowd?
-Hello, Brandy. I'll get you a Coke.

It seems ages since I've seen you.
Where've you been?

Scouting around for a new boyfriend mostly.

That's right, Mike.

I'm sorry about that, Brandy,
but it was for your own good.

Really? How?

Well, I can't tell you now,
but someday I will and you'll thank me.

Well, I've decided he really isn't my type.

I'm glad, because I think he is my type.

What do your aunt and uncle think of him?

I'm keeping him away from them
for the time being.

But I'm going to spend
a lot of time with him here.

I'm not being very big
about this thing, am l?

You two must have
a lot of tag ends to settle,

like who gets custody of the love letters
and snapshots and stuff.

-We hadn't reached that stage.
-Well, I'll go get wet, anyway.

Why is she keeping you away
from the McIntyres?

I think it's the finger.
She's afraid it might upset Aunt Maida.

Well, isn't she curious about it?

We were getting around to it
when you showed up.

You know, it's got to come from her.

Mike, I'm sorry about the other night.

But when I saw you kissing
that girl good night, it made me furious.

You were so furious, you went right home
and kissed Vincent good night.

Okay, if that's the way you want to play.

I'm glad there's enough money involved
in this deal to make you unimportant.

Goodbye, Brandy.

-Brandy mad?
-I don't know.

Well, she shouldn't be.
She wouldn't have liked you anyway,

as soon as she found out
you weren't a blue blood.

How do you know I'm not a blue blood?

Funny, I never thought about it.
Maybe you are.

Do your folks know you're a crook?
An ex-crook?

-I don't write home very often.
-Where's home?

-Come on, relax, will you?
-Please, I want to know all about you.

-Why?
-Because I have plans for you.

-Now, where's home?
-Reform school, Illinois. Satisfied?

No. Before that. About your folks.

Well, I had 79 brothers and 81 sisters.

-Don't tease me.
-I'm not!

Until I was six or seven,
I thought all kids came from orphanages,

from a factory in the basement.

-Mike...
-What?

-Where was the orphanage?
-Chicago.

How'd you really lose this fingertip?

Well, I felt sorry for a hungry lion in the zoo,
so I started to feed me to him.

Just once, don't lie to me.

Then I can't tell you how I lost it.

One of the kids at the orphanage
probably bit it off, I don't know.

It's been that way as long as I can remember.

-Where're you going?
-No place. I'll see you later.

What prompted this amazing young man
to tell you about himself?

Prompted him! Cats!
I had to drag it out of him.

He's the most secretive character
you ever met.

-I haven't met him.
-But you will meet him, won't you?

It's just that this has happened before,
Kathy.

Your aunt... You've seen.

Each time the disappointment
takes a little more out of her.

But, Uncle Will, if he should be the one
and you didn't check...

Very well, I'll dictate a note
to Vincent about him.

Here, this is quicker.

Long distance, please.

-Yes?
-Mr. McIntyre calling

-from the beach, Mr. Mailer.
-All right, I'll take it.

Hello.

Vincent, have you the orphanage file handy?

No, but I can get it right away.

Will you, please? I want to know
if we've ever checked a "Michael Farrell."

Just a moment.

All right, I have it in front of me now.
Let's see now... Farrell... Farrell.

No, there's no record of a Michael Farrell.

-Some Chicago orphanage.
-But every orphanage in that area

was checked before I took over
and re-checked after I came on.

It's possible, of course, but,
you know, some wrong description...

It's highly improbable.

I think so, too. No, no. No, I'll let you know.

-You'll let him know what?
-It's the only way I could shut him off.

But Vincent isn't going to admit
he may have overlooked something.

All right, all right.

Bring your young man around tomorrow
afternoon and we'll have a look at him.

Thank you, Uncle Will.

Here he is, Uncle Will.

-Hello, Mr. Farrell.
-Hello, sir.

-Mike is his name.
-Kathy, I'd like to talk to Mike alone.

Of course. Try to get along.

-Sit down, Mike.
-Thank you, sir.

Kathy told you, I suppose,
why I wanted to talk to you.

A little. She told me you people
lost a kid somehow, a long time ago.

And that it had a smashed finger like mine.

I would have had Mrs. McIntyre here
to meet you, but she isn't well.

Well, then don't build her up
to a let-down, Mr. McIntyre.

I wish this whole thing could come out even
and that I could be your long-lost son,

and inherit all that dough,
but let's not kid ourselves.

These things just don't happen, these...
These million-to-one shots.

No. I suppose not. Not often.
Kathy tells me you're an orphan.

St. Vincent's, Chicago.

When they got me,
they guessed my age as about three or so.

Mike. Do you mind
if I put investigators to work on you?

Look, Mr. McIntyre.

I know what you must have been through,
you and your wife, and I'm sorry for you.

But I say, let's drop the whole thing.
I'm not your kid.

-How can you know?
-Well...

Well, I can look around, can't l?
And you can look at me.

Do I look or talk like I belonged here?

-You could be wrong.
-Your investigators will show you.

-Show me what?
-Let me give you a quick run-down.

From the orphanage,
I was sent to a reformatory.

I went over the wall there
and joined a carnival.

I got in a jam, went in the Navy.
After the Navy, I was a fighter for a while.

And after that, I hustled as a gambler.

Now, I'm telling you all this because
you'll find out from the police, anyway.

Not so good, huh?

I was on my own, too, as a boy, Mike,
immigrant from the old country.

When a boy's on his own,
he has to play it sharp sometimes.

Come in.

-You're busy.
-That's all right, my dear. Come in.

-I thought you were resting.
-I was a little lonely.

This is a friend of Kathy's. Mr. Farrell.

-How do you do, Mr. Farrell?
-I'm pleased to meet you, Mrs. McIntyre.

-You were talking. I disturbed you.
-Not at all, my dear, not at all.

But I do think you should be lying down.
Now, I'll only be a minute, then I'll come in.

Promise you'll come and see me sometime,
young man.

I like to know Kathy's friends, too.
Some of them.

Of course I will.

That was very kind of you.
Putting your hand in your pocket.

I didn't want to upset her, sir.

Mike, would you consider
being our house guest,

-just while we check up on you?
-What about your wife?

I'm going to tell her. She has a right to hope,
and she was quite taken with you.

-Checking would be a waste of time, sir.
-It would be a favor.

If the change in your plans
costs you anything, I'll make it up to you.

Okay. I'll get my stuff.

-I'm going to drive you.
-Fine.

-Wouldn't it be wonderful!
-What?

If there really are fairy godmothers,

and you should turn out to be
Robert Bruce McIntyre?

-Yeah. All that money.
-That part doesn't matter.

-What part doesn't matter?
-The money.

-Well, what matters then?
-Why, it would make Aunt Maida so happy.

Yeah, but I like money.

There's a lot of work still to be done on you,
Mike Farrell.

You're looking for someone?

You're Farrell, I presume.

And you're a private detective, I presume.

Never thought of it before, but you do look
sort of like a detective, Vincent.

Prosperous one, of course.
This is my attorney, Mr. Mailer. Mike Farrell.

-Glad to know you.
-How do you do?

Mr. McIntyre, I have some
very important information for you.

We'll go in the library. Excuse us, Mike.

Hey! Hey, screwball.

You can break a guy's neck
dropping in on him like that.

Did I see Vincent Mailer in here?

-Double-breasted suit, face like a tuna?
-Yes.

He's in there with your uncle.

Yes, he escaped from reform school.

He was arrested on suspicion of gambling
in a raid on a carnival.

He was arrested and tried for assault
with a deadly weapon in St. Louis.

-What was the deadly weapon?
-His fists. He was a professional fighter.

Legally, that constitutes a deadly weapon
outside the prize ring.

Yes, I tell you,
you're housing a shady character.

Lucky nothing has happened so far,
but I strongly advise you to get rid of him.

I must commend you, Vincent.
As usual, you have been thorough.

It was hardly necessary to be thorough.

His record's in every police department
in the country.

Confound it, Vincent.

The young man was honest enough
to tell me all that himself,

the first time he came here.

-He did?
-He did.

He also told me that he didn't think
he could be my son,

but he would go along until
the investigation was completed.

Why, I'm amazed. I didn't know.
You didn't tell me.

I wanted you to have the fun
of finding it out for yourself.

-Well, maybe I have misjudged him.
-Maybe.

Now, quit checking his police record
and check his birth record.

Right away.

My, it's been a long time.

Aunt Maida hasn't been near this house,
Mike, since her little boy disappeared.

Well, she's one up on me, then.
I've never been here.

Doesn't it mean anything to you, Michael?

-Should it?
-Try, Mike. Think.

It seems like I... No, that's crazy!
I couldn't have been here before.

-Well, you could have been.
-No, I... Now I know what it is.

When I was a kid,
I used to have one dream a lot,

and the place it happened
looked something like this, that's all.

-Go on, Mike, tell us more about it.
-Well, it was just a kid dream.

Tell us anyway.

I'd be creeping down a stairway like that,
in the dark,

then there was some silly business.

There was a fireplace with a high mantel
and my stocking was hanging from it,

and I couldn't reach it so I yelled

and finally an animal jumped out at me.

-An animal?
-Yeah, a goofy-looking yak with a long neck.

I don't know, I told you
it didn't make any sense.

-The giraffe! That's what he means.
-I'll get it!

That was the fireplace in your dream,
wasn't it?

Wasn't it, Michael?

Could be.

Is this the animal?

Well, all kids have dreams
about toys and animals.

That toy was your favorite.
You got it for Christmas.

This was your home.

Please come out
at your earliest convenience

for a discussion of other details
this step involves.

You want to see me, Mr. McIntyre?

Yes. Yes, Mike. Come in.
I was just dictating a memo to Vincent.

Might as well listen, save me telling it twice.

Since the incident yesterday
in our Pasadena house,

my wife is completely convinced
of his identity.

And not for years have I seen her so happy.

As her happiness is all I live for,

I have decided
to accept her convictions in the matter.

I want the investigation
dropped immediately.

As far as Mrs. McIntyre and I are concerned,
Michael Farrell is our son.

I know you have been antagonistic
toward Farrell's claims,

but he has been
most straightforward with me

and this memorandum will end
all further discussion of his qualifications.

Please come out
at your earliest convenience

for a discussion of other details
this step involves.

-How's that?
-It's perfect.

You certainly had the right hunch,

having Farrell make a clean breast of it
to the old man. He ate it up.

-Yes, Mr. Mailer.
-Bring me a copy of the McIntyre will,

cancel all my appointments
for tomorrow morning.

Good morning, Vincent. Let's sit out here.
Fresh air will do you good.

I took the morning off, so we'd have
plenty of time to discuss the matter.

-Nothing to discuss.
-The details, I mean.

If you're convinced,
then I'm no longer opposed to Farrell.

-I'm glad to hear you say that.
-I imagine the first thing you'll want to do...

I think one of the first things
I want to do is go fishing.

This is a big load off my chest.

Let's take the boat out,
see if we can catch us a tuna, huh?

-What's the matter?
-Nothing, nothing.

It's just something Kathy said.
Well, what about it, the fishing?

It sounds all right.

Then we have a date, say,
day after tomorrow?

Fine.
And now, I think we should discuss the will.

I agree.

As it is at present, after the trust funds
for your wife and Kathy,

the rest of your fortune goes to charity.

-I know that.
-Now, I imagine you'll want that changed,

you'll want the young man
to inherit the bulk of your estate.

-Not a cent.
-The details...

I beg your pardon.

You heard correctly.
I'm not leaving him any money.

But...

-Don't you believe he's your son?
-That has nothing to do with it.

I just think that kind of money, easy money,
would ruin Mike or any other young fellow.

If he's my son, he'll be able to make money
through his own efforts.

But I do want to change the will,

so we can start disbursing
the bulk of my estate at once

to the foundations I've selected.

-I misjudged old McIntyre. I admit it.
-I misjudged you. I admit that, too.

How?

You're his legal advisor,
only he doesn't take your advice.

I hadn't figured on that.

Hiya, Brandy.

-Well, party?
-Our plans have fallen apart.

McIntyre recognizes you as his son,
but he's not gonna leave you any money.

-I thought that was your end of the pitch.
-He flubbed it.

Nobody can tell McIntyre
what to do with his money.

Well, end of caper.

You don't seem very upset about it.

I don't get upset over things
I can't do anything about.

We threw the dice
and they came up box cars. Simple.

Why should he be disturbed?

He's set up with a good home,
an easy life and the light of his life.

You think I'm going to leave you out there,
risking exposure for all of us if you talk?

-And get nothing out of it, myself?
-You have a choice, I suppose?

Amateurs, you timid, small-time,
cheap little crooks.

-Not now, dear boy.
-A penny-ante con man,

shooting for 10 million dollars.

One upset in your plans
and you're all done, quits!

You have an idea
or you wouldn't talk like that.

I have more than an idea.
I've got the solution.

-McIntyre will die intestate.
-What's intestate?

-He'll die without leaving a will.
-He's got a will. He told me so.

One copy of it's in my files
and the other's in a safety deposit box

-to which I also have access.
-It sounds good but it won't work.

You said he instructed you to start
giving his money away before he dies.

There won't be time before he dies.

Have I shocked you?

You're a stronger character
than I realized, Vincent.

Who did you have in mind
for knocking off the old man?

We're taking the boat out for some fishing.
Todd will be along.

It'll look like a heart attack.

Well, what's the matter?

I've solved your problem,
saved your 10 million for you.

Haven't you anything to say?

I'll do a lot for money, Vincent,
short of murder.

And you?

I don't go along with killing the old man.

-Soft?
-Maybe soft. I like the old man.

Most of all,
I don't like the change in the loser's end,

from the pen to the gas chamber.

I'm not asking you and Brandy
to go on the boat trip.

I'll take care of it.

If it all blows up, we'll be in on it.

I'm in favor of dropping the whole pitch.
No deal.

From here in, you don't have anything
to say about it, either of you.

You'll do as I tell you or you'll spend
the next few years in prison.

You know I mean it and I can do it.
I'm in the clear.

I fought Farrell's claim, McIntyre knows that.

Well?

If we give in to him now,
he'll have us the rest of the way.

He's got us already.

Give me some time to think it over.
Maybe I can come up with something better.

Take all the time you want, up to 36 hours.
That's when the fishing trip starts.

If you think that'll help find the answer,
pour one for me.

I've got the answer.

Throw a couple of spare minks in a bag
and we'll beat it.

-We'll beat it?
-Sure.

We can be a long way from here in 36 hours.

He'd find us,
the police would find us for him.

He meant what he said. I know him.

Yeah, I almost forgot. You do know him.

You shouldn't have gotten
mixed up with Mailer.

I suppose all your playmates
have been bright, shining angels.

Maybe you got a point there.

Sometimes a gal on her own doesn't know
what she's getting into, till it's too late.

I always figured you to know
exactly what you were doing all the time.

When all this started with Vincent, it wasn't
as unpleasant as it turned out to be.

-You must tell me all about it sometime.
-Lefty, I'll pack and go with you!

I think I've changed my mind, baby.

I'm not sure I trust women
any more than you do.

Besides, it wouldn't be fair
to let the McIntyres lose their kid twice.

Somebody's got to help them
look after things.

I wonder if you really intend to let
that 10 million slip through your fingers,

even if it means getting it Vincent's way.

We'd make a cozy couple.

I was just wondering
the same thing about you.

Come out tonight about 8:00, Mailer.
Don't try to make it, just be there!

-Hello.
-Look,

I'm holding a little open house tonight.
Can you come out about 8:00?

To the McIntyres'?
I haven't any excuse to go out there.

Lefty, I don't...

All right. I don't know what you're up to,
but I'll be there.

-Stow the gear in the boat. I'll be down later.
-Right.

-What are you doing here?
-He sent for me.

-That was stupid. We shouldn't meet here.
-It's okay. Help's night out.

The McIntyres are gone over
to their Pasadena house with a decorator.

They're redoing my nursery.

Don't get too close to him, Vincent.
He's drunk.

A little. But that's good advice
from here on out, Mailer.

Walk wide of me,
especially when I've been drinking.

-Come to the point.
-The point.

Don't you want to hear my decision?

-You could make only one decision.
-Maybe.

Anyway, the boat trip's off.
You understand? No boat trip.

You're out then? That's your decision?

-You're out.
-I don't follow.

It's simple. I don't need you. I'm set up.

I may take care of Brandy only because

I think the idea of helping McIntyre
die intestate, stealing the copies of the will,

was entirely yours.

Are you all through?

Brandy's like me, she's got a lot of larceny
in her soul, but she's no killer.

-When I talk, I'll ruin you.
-What can you prove?

And who do you think the old man
will believe, you or his son?

Do you think I was fool enough
to put all the cards in your hand?

Do you think the surgeon
at the emergency hospital

couldn't identify you,
and tell when you lost your fingertip?

Come on, Brandy. Let him finish his bottle.

Okay.
But there isn't going to be any boat trip,

nothing's gonna happen to the old man.
We're just all out.

When he gets home tonight,
I'm going to tell McIntyre the whole caper.

And you better clear out, Mailer,

'cause I don't think the old man
is going to be very pleased.

All right, Farrell, have it your way.

Mike, be careful.

Brandy!

The fool means it!
He's gone soft for the old man

-and he'll squeal his head off.
-It's been coming on. I don't care too much.

-Todd!
-Yes, sir.

Todd, the whole deal's off.

Oh, you'll be paid just the same,
but there's a little matter to be taken care of.

Farrell wants to ease his conscience
by talking.

If he does, we all go to jail.

-Where is he?
-Up at the house. Alone.

-You can't do it!
-Just the voice of love, Todd. Go ahead.

Don't be a fool, Vincent.
He's as dangerous to me as he is to you.

Only, anything you do up there
is going to look like murder.

I don't care what it looks like
so long as we shut him up.

Well, then, let's be smart.
I'll get him down here.

You're pretty good in the water,
and he's a little drunk.

And wise guy can't swim.
It'll look like an accident.

It's a very good idea.

Mike! Mike!

Mike!

Brandy! Brandy, where are you?

That was stupid, Farrell,

thinking I'd let you ruin me by talking
at this stage of the game.

-Yeah.
-It was her idea.

To make it look like an accident.
They thought a bullet would do.

I wonder what Brandy's doing here.
I'll see if she's down in the boat.

All right, Kathy.

Hi, Brandy!

Fine! It's Kathy!

I didn't know you were coming over.

-What's the matter?
-There's been an accident.

Farrell in the water.
Todd's bringing him in now.

Drowned?

Mike, they said you'd drowned!

Not a chance. This lug tried to murder me.
Spit it out, stupid!

Why, the greenest gob in my outfit
could've handled you!

-Todd tried to kill you? Why?
-He had his reasons.

Thanks, trouble.
Good thing somebody knew I could swim.

-I just don't understand what's going on.
-I'm going to see McIntyre.

You've got to help him. Do something!

-He tried to kill me!
-You can't let him die!

-I just can't believe Todd's a murderer.
-Well, I'm not going to prove it for you.

Now, I'll have to take him in hand.
He's rather nice-looking, too, for a criminal.

-Here, let me, I can do that.
-Go ahead.

Where is he now?

He's down at the landing
where Todd caught him trying to get away.

I expect he'll be along any minute.

I don't mind telling you,
we had quite a time with him.

You know, he kept denying it even after
I confronted him with the hospital record.

Would you believe it, he had that fingertip
taken off less than six months ago.

How could it look so old?
That's what took me in.

How could he have learned there was
a missing heir, and what he looked like?

Brandy must have let it slip.

She went out with the fellow,
not knowing what he was.

I don't have to tell you how I feel, Mike.

It's the truth, of course.
Vincent couldn't have invented it.

Vincent knows it better than anybody else.
The whole idea was his.

He said that would be your comeback.

Do you like phonograph records,
Mr. McIntyre?

What sort of nonsense is this?

I made this one especially for you,
earlier this evening.

You'll like it, too, Vincent.
You can dance to it while I change clothes.

-What are you doing here?
-He sent for me.

-That was stupid. We shouldn't meet here.
-Okay, but the boat trip's off.

Nothing's going to happen to the old man.
We're just all out.

When he gets home tonight,
I'll tell McIntyre the whole caper.

You better clear out, Mailer.

I don't think the old man
will be very pleased.

All right, Farrell, have it your way.

Mike, be careful.

Brandy!

Like you said, Mr. McIntyre.

A guy on his own
has to play it sharp sometimes.

I'm sorry we tried to make you the sucker.

Now you see why I didn't
want to leave Mike any money.

See what the lust for money
has made of you?

All three of you.

-Now, look here, McIntyre...
-Shut up!

-What happens now?
-What do you think should happen?

Handcuffs?

If I had intended calling in the police,
I'd have done it some time ago, Mike.

I didn't leave everything to Vincent.

These are photostatic copies
of your reformatory and Navy records.

And in both of them, you had five
full fingerprints on your left hand.

I can see now, Mr. McIntyre,
how you made 10 million bucks.

Vincent, I'm not going to prosecute,

but give up your law practice
and get out of the city.

-But, Mr...
-By the end of the week.

I have a strong feeling
you're going to wind up in jail anyway.

Good night, Miss Kirby.

You shouldn't have
gotten mixed up with Mailer.

-Mike.
-I'll be on my way, sir, if you don't mind.

-You're not getting off as easily as they are.
-No?

You see, Mike, my wife has only a
short time left, and I'd like her to be happy.

I'd be grateful if you went along being
our son without her knowing about all this.

-I can't do that, sir.
-Why not?

Well, well, I just don't belong here, sir.

-The kind of people I like...
-Yes?

I don't fit.
I ought to be around my kind, like Brandy.

Brandy? Hasn't she done enough
to complicate your life?

Well, she also saved it
a short while ago, sir. And...

Did you always shy away from women
who complicated your life?

Quite the contrary.
You don't have to live here, Mike,

just come and see us whenever
you're in town, and bring Brandy.

Thank you, sir.

-I need a lift into town.
-Get out.

-What happened to Mailer?
-He's gone. Now, get out.

We settled that once.
I never respond to that tone of voice.

-Never?
-Never.

If I say, "Please, Mr. Farrell,"

would you kiss me?

Hey!