All language subtitles for Whos.a.Good.Boy.2022.DUBBED.1080p.WEBRip.x265-RARBG

NETFLIX PRESENTS

I know, I know, I fucked up.

And big time.

I thought that singing Mario Bautista
and falling head first over a condom

was hitting rock bottom.

But this mess didn't start here.

Let me take you back a few months.

A FEW MONTHS AGO

What are you doing?

You are totally fucked up.

Right, fuck is what I'm gonna do
to all the girls.

-Wait! Don't! Dude, please!
-Man…

What are you doing?

-Ah! You disgusting perv!
-No, wait!

-The fuck's he doing? My God!
-What was that, asshole?

Hey, would you like me
to blow you in the bathroom?

No!

-What did he say?
-He wanted to blow me.

-He's kinda wasted. A bit tipsy.
-No shit!

-You better leave!
-Excuse us.

-Asshole!
-Oh… Hurry up!

Goodbye to my fucking fantasy.

A blowjob at a party
is your fantasy?

-Yeah? So?
-Gimme a break!

-Like yours is better?
-It's better than yours.

-No way!
-Just listen.

Now what?

Sex up in the sky,

-on a plane, with the girl of my dreams.
-Gimme a break, man!

-What?
-Screw your fantasies.

Ana won't speak to me again
and it's all your fault.

-My fault?
-Now that we were invited to a party.

-Me! They invited me to the party.
-Potato "potatoe."

The good thing is we left
while they were playing reggaeton

and that Mario Bautista's garbage.

You don't like that guy, but he's cool.

Come on, man, reggaeton is lit!

But you only like boring oldies and stuff.

Don't be stupid. Led Zeppelin? The Stones?

They are badass.

Reggaeton is pure trash.
It's only isolated sound.

-And Mario B is…
-Shit!

-Exactly, bro.
-No!

Shit is what you just stepped on!

Ugh!

Well, no Mario or anything.

They won't invite us to a party again.
Thanks.

Chillax, dude.

Man, we don't need invitation
for the graduation trip…

-Of course.
-…or for the famous Christmas rager.

The most anticipated gathering
since we crave the…

Hey, cut it!

But he is right.

We need a date for the Christmas party.

But, man, regardless of that,
you and I are safe.

Yeah.

But you…

What about me?

-Say it.
-Honestly, we're worried about you, man.

Everyone's had sex but you.
You've missed every opportunity.

You need more contact.

-I've had contact.
-With who?

You've got it all wrong, bro.

Your daily jerk off is not contact, okay?

"Daily jerk off"?

-I touch myself for you!
-Yeah. Do it, beach girl, do it!

-Oh yeah!
-Do it!

My beach boy! Yes!

Yes, I love it! Come on, honey!

Oh do it for me!

Such a good girl.

Mom!

-Why don't you knock?
-Come on, José María.

-Not like you're doing something wrong.
-Of course not. But how could you know?

-What are you doing with my fan?
-Ugh!

You know I can't sleep without it.
Mom! The heat suffocates me!

-Gimme that.
-Here. Come on.

I need you to place it in the living room,

but let's see where exactly…

Put it right here.

What for, Mom?

Uncle Jaime is coming today

and I don't want you
to share a room with your sister

every time he comes to visit.

What? So where…?

So you're gonna sleep right here

and you'll be sharing
the restroom with your uncle.

So whenever he comes every four months,
I'll sleep there for over two weeks?

-Yup!
-Oh no! Of course not.

I say no and that means no. Hm?

Come on, Chema!

For ten years,
your uncle has never let us down.

Don't forget,
it was your father's last wish, sweetie,

to have his best friend looking after us.

Yeah,
because he's good at looking.

What did you say?

-Nothing.
-Don't start, Chema.

-Bye, Mother. I'm in a hurry, hun.
-Begoña, wait for your brother.

-Please, hon.
-No, Mom. Why would I? It's the first day.

Love you. Ta-ta!

You better hurry, it's getting late.

But the school is three minutes' walking,
Mom.

Literally.

Literally, please hurry.

Where's my kiss?

HORIZON EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTE

I'm sorry, Tommy.

-Again.
-Dude, that was wrong.

-You're cheating.
-I know.

Hey.

Hey, what up?

The max!

-Ready for our last picture?
-Bring it!

-Sure!
-The classic, guys.

-I'm laughing. Put on your best face!
-Wait.

-Let's move to the right.
-Scooch over?

That's great!

Like wine, huh?

Ten years together, bros.

Love you.

Well, let's go, then. Let's go.

HORIZON EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTE

Hey, check it out.

-His jacket is cool.
-I dunno, man. It's kinda ugly.

Screw this,
I didn't wanna come back to school.

I mean it.

-We're so gonna miss all this, right?
-Mm-hm.

No, man!

What we're going to miss is seeing
the way Hanna and Alexa's tits hug.

Unforgettable-- What?

-Instant karma, bro.
-Why?

Do you think girls
don't talk about us like that?

Ugh! Of course not.

Dude, I'm sure they say stuff like,
I dunno. Something…

Hey, Chema, help me out here.

I'm gonna miss Eli's beautiful smile.

What?

-Don't fuck with me, man.
-Huh?

Besides, she's your cousin.

-No, man.
-Don't go all Game of Thrones.

No, she's really not my cousin.

That's our pet name, okay?

-But she's not my cousin.
-Right. "Pet name."

Man, I swear.

Chema, seriously.

If I were you, I'd get someone to Netflix
and chill if you know what I mean.

Besides, Eli has too much flow for you.

Fucking Hugo.

Ever since he had sex twice,

-he thinks he's Drake.
-Ugh!

What a d-bag.

-Listen, Chema…
-It was from that window.

…having sex is…

-Well, hello!
-It changed my life.

-What's that?
-A book Jorge gave me.

I can't stop thinking about
what Ana and I did, man.

But now that I'm around her,
I'm scared of talking to her.

Then, do it now!

-No. No, Chema.
-Go!

-It good?
-Super good.

I'll show you after class.

Hello.

Hello, Chema.

Hello, Eli.

-How are…?
-What?

-Not with the cousin, man.
-She's not my cousin, man.

-You didn't call.
-Sorry.

-There are thousands of women.
-I missed you.

-Eli's busy, want a coffee?
-For you not thousands…

-Sure.
-Go get her, my man. Pew-pew!

To experience.

To experience! Hm?

To perceive something for the first time.

That's what we're gonna do in this class.

And I hope
you're all doing it in your lives.

Okay, let's get started.

Dude, Bernardo asked me
to the Christmas party.

-Yay! Oh my God.
-Congratulations.

We were worried about you, dude.

-I got asked out since last year.
-Yeah, you were the only one missing out!

I know, but finally.

-I'm so happy for you.
-I love him. He's so cute.

What do you want, dude?

Go back to work.

-I'm sorry I saw you had something…
-Yeah?

…but now it's gone.

Oh my God.

Hello.

Oh!

Uh… oh… nothing.

Chema!

Oh… I wasn't overhearing anything.

Uh… I swear.

-Come, come.
-What the hell?

Hm?

Can you believe that filthy cat
used my Zen garden as a toilet again?

Oh, Miss Cholita,
please, someone else can help you.

I always pick it up.

Chema, we all know who's the cute,
softie student. Hm? Who?

Chema!

Hm. You see? Go ahead.

No, no, no, no, no. Clean it well,
I mean the whole thing. It smells.

But I just have to take the doodies away.

"The softie."

Someone who's easy to weaken and persuade
to do everything others don't wanna do.

YOUR HIT IN YOUR BREAK

Oh wow. This could be a big break.

APPLY TO BE A DJ
DURING RECESS NEXT SEMESTER

"All applicants have to be in pairs."

Crap, why does everything
have to be as a couple?

José María.

No, Miss, "crap" isn't a swear word.
I swear.

No, no, no, no, Chema.

I wanted to ask you a favor.

After all, Chema, you're a--

I forgot the word. Uh…

-A "softie"?
-I'm not as big a softie as they say.

-No?
-No!

Don't say that.
I won't be able to count on you today?

I'm not a softie, but you can count on me.

Oh okay.

Please tell me
what I can do or file or pick…

Chema, I don't want you
to file or pick up anything.

I'm just begging you to go ahead
and show the school and pamper,

so to speak.

The new student that was transferred

straight from the beautiful beaches
of Acapulco,

Claudia Galeana.

Hm? Claudia, honey!

Hello.

It's Chemita, right?

Close your mouth, my dear.

My dear, close your mouth.

Sorry, what do I need to file?

I don't want you to file.
I'm asking you to pamper the new student.

This girl. She's Claudia.

What's wrong with you, son?

Just look at her, my dear.
Just look at Claudia.

Chema, what's wrong with you?

In case you're unable,
I might just ask someone else to do it.

No, there's no need. No…

-No, no, no.
-Please, get yourself together!

No, Miss, there's no… There's no, uh…
There's no one as soft as me.

-What I thought.
-I'm very soft.

-Mm-hm.
-I, I, I'm the best at…

-as you say, "pampering"…
-Mm-hm.

…the beauti…

our new classmate who has been, uh,

transferred from the beautiful Acapulco.

Great! So it's settled, then.

So, that's it. The end.

You get in and out through this door.

Dude, what a tour! It was fucking awesome.

What do you think about my city accent?

It's beautiful.

Oh and if you have a car,

you can just park it over there

or anywhere you want.

No, I don't… I don't have one.

I was hoping I could catch a ride.

I'll give you a ride!

Yeah, I can pick you up,
bring you here, and back to your house…

-Aw, baby.
-…as many times as you need, yeah.

-Would you really pick me up?
-Yeah. Totally.

-I live in Sayavedra, it's kinda far away.
-Oh…

It took me an hour to get here.

-Sayavedra, yeah! I know it pretty well.
-Yeah?

-It's on my way home. Absolutely.
-Oh, really?

Aw, you're so cute, thanks!

I told you, I'm not lending you my car.

No wait, giving you my car.

-You're basically keeping it all day.
-Mom, when I have asked for a favor?

Just one. Never!

This isn't just a favor.

This means leaving me without a car.

But what do you use it for, Mom?

Leave me alone, please.

I said no, okay?

Jaime's almost here. Take this.

See? That's your uncle.

Jaime!

-My dear Gloria! Look at you!
-Oh!

-What a pleasure to see you.
-You look gorgeous.

-It is my pleasure. All right.
-Come on in. Let me help you. Gimme that.

Family! I'm here!

-Uncle!
-Kids!

Whoa! Begoña! Look at you.

-How are you?
-All grown up and gorgeous like your mom.

I mean,

-with all due respect.
-Oh, uncle, I missed you!

It's been so long, I'm gutted.

Mm… I know, I'm sorry, mija.
But it won't happen again.

-Okay. I forgive you.
-I brought you a little gift.

Close your eyes. You'll ruin the surprise.

-This is the one, right? Here.
-Yeah. Close them.

No!It's brilliant! Thank you!

-Yay… All right. Of course.
-I'll open it now.

-Hi, uncle.
-Ay, cabrón!

Look at you, you're so tall, son.

-Huh? Strong and handsome like his dad.
-Hm.

-So, have you?
-What?

-Last year of high school?
-Oh…

-What are you studying?
-Engineering, like my dad.

As long as you're passionate about it,

it's absolutely amazing.

-Hm.
-Hm. Now, I got you this. Look.

-Oh my God!
-With your initials and everything.

You can throw that shit away already.

They must be screwing up your ears.

Thank you, uncle! Best gift ever!

Always.

-They're super cool!
-Yeah. And for my dear Gloria…

-Oh I'm getting one too?
-Uh-huh!

-Just a little something! Close your eyes.
-Aw!

-Of course. No!
-Hey! I brought you goat!

-It looks delicious!
-Check this out.

And the best.

-Beef tongue to prepare it with Pipián.
-Oh no! Oh my God.

Finger-licking good!

I swear, my mouth is watering, Jaime.

How's El Paso? How was the trip?

I traveled for 23 hours straight.
Not counting the stops.

Oh my God! That's too much!

That's why I brought
the old truck with me.

So I can leave it here
for when I come visit.

And that way I can just jump
on a plane back home.

Great idea! Why didn't you do it before?

Sometimes I don't think straight,
I get so excited.

-Uncle! It was a very long trip, right?
-Yeah.

Why don't you go to my room
and make yourself comfortable?

Yeah, you do that.
I'll put this away in the meantime.

-Yeah.
-Fine. Let's go.

-I'll take that and I'll take this too.
-Hey! I feel so pampered.

-Go ahead, guys.
-Because we missed you.

-You okay?
-I'm gonna make…

-It is! Thanks!
-The one?

…scrambled eggs with machaca tomorrow.

-Thank you, son.
-You have access to the computer.

-You can charge your phone over there.
-Easy, easy, cowboy!

Relax, what a reception!
A first-class host.

Well, honestly, we missed you, uncle.

I missed you more.

I was fucking dying to see you all again.

That year that your dad studied in London

-changed his life.
-Hm…

And he passed on to you
his love for music.

Yeah.

-I love it, uncle.
-I know, man.

-I know.
-Uh, well,

I can find a good movie for you maybe

or if you need anything?

Or a glass of water?

You can turn off the lamp
if you feel it's too intense.

Okay, mijo, come on, sit here.

-Sit sit.
-Uh-huh.

-Hm?
-Yeah.

What's wrong with you?

You look so anxious.
Are you doing drugs or what?

No, of course not.

You know your father,

may God rest his soul,
and I made a promise, right?

Yes, uncle.

And that means

you may talk to me about anything, huh?

Your passions…

The ladies.

Damn, I knew you had something.
What's her name?

-Who?
Who else, pendejo?

The broad we're talking about.

Oh! her name is Claudia.

She called me baby.

She's my dream girl, uncle.

So?

So I'll only have a chance
to be with her if I drive her…

Mm-hm.

…but Mom won't lend me her car.

-Mm-hm.
-And if I don't have a car,

tomorrow the popular guys
will win her over.

And if they do, I won't have a date
for the Christmas party

and then I'll miss out
because I'm in my senior year,

and I'll be a virgin forever.

Whoa, whoa!
Easy, son, just breathe! Relax, bro.

Relax! No one's gonna win over anything,
huh?

No one, okay?

And you won't stay a virgin.

You can borrow my truck.

Despite being old,
it works quite well and has a stereo. Hm?

Then at the Christmas party,
you can experience all that stuff.

And the popular guys can suck it.
I'll tell you something.

Something that drives me fucking me mad,

but like really fucking mad,
to the point I say,

"Oh man, it's driving me fucking mad,"

is giving advice…

…but if you wanna know

whether she likes you or not,
as you're leaving, while playing it cool,

turn around, pay attention,
and see if she looks back at you.

Really? But that doesn't work
all the time, right, uncle?

Never fails, pendejo.

Why don't you listen?
You think I'm fuckin' jokin'?

-No, no, no.
-Pay attention.

It never fails.

The broad looks back at you,

-means she's got the hots for you.
-Hm.

Okay, that's it, the truck is yours.

Go on. The rest…

-is up to you.
-Well, thank you, uncle!

All right, well, just fuck off.
Let me rest, son.

If you need anything, let me know.

-Thank you very much!
-Go on!

Baby,
would you really pick me up?

Yeah.

♪ And how could I not get closer?

Come on!

Fucking Waze, what the hell?

I want the most direct road.

Recalculating route.

Ugh…

This motherfucker…

Órale, dude!

Come on!

-Hey! Eyes on the road, asshole!
-Very sorry, sir.

-What's wrong?
-You're making a mess!

Dammit!

Recalculating route.

Oh there.

Where…?

I'm not lost.

-You have reached your destination.
-Oh my God. Really?

I'm not coming back here.

Oh I think that's it.

No, this is too fucking far.

Even if she is my dream girl.

Oh wait, please!
Wait, please! I'll open the door.

Ah.

There.

-Hey, baby.
-Hi.

Oh man.

Are you ready
for your first day of school?

Ready.

Hey! But can we drive through a K'fé Club?

I wanna be a city girl 100%

and I always see influencers
carrying one around.

First stop K'fé Club.

K'FE CLUB
ORGANIC COFFEE

Here we are.

That'll be 4.50

For a cup of coffee?

I'll pay, here.

No! No, no, no! No!

Of course not. No, lemme get this one.

-Really?
-Yeah.

-Of course! Yeah.
-Thank you.

Uh, there you go.

-Thanks.
-Okay.

-You'll get one of these every day.
-Aw! You are the best.

Hey, how about we play some music, huh?

Oh that's my thing.

-Really?
-Lemme…

Oh no.

Embarrassing. Sorry!

But there you go…

These are my playlists.

-Pick what you want.
-Let's see.

That's weird. You don't have it.

Here it is. "My Little Crush." Mario B.

Don't you love M.B.?

-M.B.?
-Yeah.

Yeah, no, of course.
I love it. He's amazing.

He's the new Mozart.

Mm-hm.

Oh but that was the best part.

Yeah, but we've listened to it
like a hundred times, right?

Oh…

-Shall we? Come on.
-Yeah. Let's go.

What up?

Aren't you gonna introduce us?

There's no rush, maybe tomorrow.

-Hey!
-Hey!

-Sebas, what are you doing?
-What?

-I'd never seen it before.
-Really?

What up, guys?

Let me introduce you.

Clau's joining our class,
she comes from Acapulco.

-Say hello.
-Hey!

-Hi!
-This is Hugo.

-Hello.
-Hi!

-Rubén. And Ana.
-Hello.

Hey, look at that.

-When did you get here?
-I dunno. A couple days ago.

That's so cool.

-Uh, can I take you to your class?
-Sure, yeah.

See you at the classroom, okay?

-Bye.
-Later.

See ya.

My God, that girl, bro.

-What number was it?
-I know, man.

-Like a sweet, sweet peach, dude.
-She smelled like pineapple. Or like…

You two are idiots. Bye.

-You're such a moron, Hugo.
-What did I say, man?

-It was a joke, Ana!
-Nah, fuck you!

You were also saying stuff!
Don't play coy now!

Here's your schedule
with the map and everything.

Actually, I drew it for you here.

-Oh thank you.
-I also got you a notebook

-and a folder in case you forgot…
-Oh…

…out of first-day anxiety.

And the school's curriculum
with its mission.

-Thank you!
-And I'll wait for you after every class.

-Please don't go with anybody else.
-Oh, baby, of course not.

I'll just go with you.

Have a nice day.

Chema, what's with that smoking hottie?

Sh. He's watching.

Come in.

Can we make an announcement?

Okay, go ahead.

Thanks, Mister.

-We have news and it's superb.
-Superb.

-Superb.
-For our graduation trip we'll go to…

Cancún!

We're going together to Cancún!

-Calm down!
-We totally have to go!

I know. So, plane tickets,
hotel rooms, and food are included.

-So start paying now!
-Now!

-Oh! One more thing. It'll be epic.
-Epic.

-Epic.
-I'm gonna show you two what fun is.

I've been saving for years for this trip.

-Easy now.
-Awesome.

I said easy now!

And don't forget, please, that this week,

you'll have
the university training course.

A choice that will define
your lives forever… forever…

Nah! But it will define
your lives forever.

Rubén? You chose literature, right?

I certainly did, José María. And you?

Engineering, really?

Well…

Hey, man. What's with the Acapulco girl?
She's crazy hot, man.

Yeah! Dude, tell us.
Where did you meet her or what?

She's new at the school.

Yeah, obviously, but why was she with you?

Why not?

Huh?

-She grabbed my arm super tight.
-Yeah, man. We saw that.

I'm sure she's gonna be
my date for the party.

And of course for Cancún too.

You don't have to worry about me.

What? What?

You're a moron, bro.

Man, if you take her to the party
and then to Cancún, I genuinely swear…

…trust me,

I'll give the principal a head

she'll just never forget.

-What?
-Huh?

-What?
-Uh, what will you give her?

Uh-huh. Bread, sir.

-"Bread"?
-Yeah.

With jam, butter, toasted.

-She'd like it.
-Please go to her office, Mr. Gomez!

Tell the principal what you're gonna do
to her or make for her.

To the principal's office.

Please! Move it!

Anybody else?

Hi, Chema.

-Hi, Eli.
-What you listening to?

"Rock de Casbah" by The Clash.

You and your British rock.

How do you know that?

You told me once
that you listen to British rock

and you even have posters
and autographs, right?

Yeah. In fact, I have a The Smiths poster
with Morrisey's autograph.

-No way! No way!
-Yeah. Wanna see?

-Of course!
-Here.

No way! That's so cool!

I totally love The Smiths.

It was my dad's.

That's sweet.

Do you remember
that when we were both kids,

every time our parents got hammered,
they played Fobia?

Fobia, yeah.

-Yeah.
-It was this song…

"Sacúdeme."

Hey, we could hang out in the afternoons
and you can show me your bands,

-I'll show you mine.
-Sure.

We could even apply
as a couple for Your Hit.

Yeah, of course.
We'll wipe the floor with 'em.

Uh, sure! Are you available next week?

-Thursday?
-Yeah. Hell, yeah.

-Great.
-Yeah.

Hello.

Hey.

I'm Claudia.

-I'm Eli.
-Hm.

Chema, shall we?

-Yeah.
-Bye.

I'll send you a text so you won't forget.

Oh! My first day
of class was cool,

and all thanks to you.

Do you like Hot Vinyasa?

-Uh, yeah. Yeah, of course.
-Yeah?

Obviously, I like… Hot Matcha, yeah.

and Hot Latte, for example.

The Hot… The Hot Cakes.

-Hot Dogs as well.
-Baby, what did you hear?

I said "Hot Vinyasa."

Yoga.

-Oh…
-I want to sign up for a class

and a pole dance class too.

-Pole?
-Yeah.

Yeah, I saw them on IG,
but I mean, I have no way to get there.

Uh-huh. With me!

-Really? Aw, really, honey?
-Yeah. Uh-huh.

But you don't have
any plans in the afternoon?

Nothing at all.

Perfect!

So, I'm gonna see the schedules
and you'll practice Vinyasa with me, okay?

Uh-huh.

-Leave it! I'll throw out your garbage.
-Really?

-Mm-hm.
-Mm-hm.

Thanks, baby.

Okay, bye.

Uh-- I'll open the door. Wait!

-Oh. You're such a gentleman.
-Of course I am.

-Thank you, Chema, honey.
-Of course.

See you tomorrow.

Yeah.

But if you wanna know
whether she likes you or not,

as you're leaving, while playing it cool,
turn around, pay attention,

and see if she looks back.

But that doesn't work
all the time, right?

Never fails, pendejo.
Why don't you listen?

You think that I'm fuckin' jokin', son?

-No, sir.
-Pay attention.

Broad looks back at you,

means she's got the hots for you.

Chema! Chema!

Baby, are you okay?

-Are you okay?
-Pervert!

Drooling for a pair of legs.

What about "Me too"?

What? I wasn't drooling over anything!

It's okay, baby. It's okay.

Look, Claudia, I'm not a pervert. I swear.

You trying to tell me that yearning face
is just your normal face?

Gimme a break.

What yearning face?

Oh, my sweet baby boy.

I've been longing for you all day…

I can't do it, beach girl.

Forgive me.

I need more space in my tummy.
I can't eat anymore. I ate a fuck load.

Mom, I know. Maybe tomorrow
we can get dinner at Poke Bowls.

Great idea, sweetie.

What's that poke shit? Huh?

Poke Bowls, uncle.

-Hm…
-Look, it's like today's sushi,

but they put everything in a bowl.

-I love posting pictures of them.
-Well, speaking of bowls,

I'll need to use-- One in the toilet,
in my room right? And I'll be back okay?

You make me laugh, Jaime.
Make yourself at home.

Well, thank you very much, Gloria.

Oh yeah.

This is so amazing. Oh--

Oh! Oh!

Ah!

Oh my, the turtle head is pokin' out.

Ah! Ah!

-Ah!
-Ah!

-You crazy cabrón!
-Ah! No!

What the hell?

What the fuck?

Ah! "Crazy cabrón!"

He's the cabrón here.

For not knocking.

But it's fine.

Tomorrow's another day with my Claudia.

Ugh! Gimme a breeak!

Recalculating route.

Man! Man. Left lane's free!

We got the good vibe
Eh!

-Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh! M.B.! Mario B!
-Eh! Eh!

Mario B! Mario B! Mario B! Mario B!

No. No…No!

Look! Hanna and Alexa.

-Hello.
-Hey.

Hello.

-Mollete?
-Oh yeah!

Oh no!

Those things are full of calories.
Forget it.

Arms…

No way!

No, seriously, it's delicious.

-It's not!
-Tastes like clouds filled with water.

I'M HERE. I'M UPSTARIS.
LOOK WHO I RAN INTO.

Shit.

WHERE ARE YOU?

Keep it up!

Very well. Very good.

Whoo!

I'm so fucked.

-It's super cool. Really.
-Is it?

I did yoga, Pilates.

Yikes!

This body isn't hot by accident.

-Obviously.
-Chema! Come.

-Oh! Hey, Clau.
-Hi. Look, there's Sebas and Tomás.

Hey! Yeah,
I think we've already met, right? Hey.

-Hello!
-Hello. Alexa.

-It's for Claudia.
-Sebas.

What's up, Dog?

Hey, man!

So my guru told me
that I might meet Mario B pretty soon.

-Oh man…
-Mario B?

Yeah!

Mario B!

Wow! Amazing.

Oh… Oh no, we need to go.

-Bye!
-Bye.

-Bye!
-See you, girls.

-Hey, dude.
-Have a nice day.

-Mario B?
-Yes!

I'm having a party on Friday, bro.
A chill get-together at my house.

Bring Clau.

-Of course!
-And…

And if you want, you can bring your bros.

Your buddies.

-That'll be awesome. See you, Sebas.
-See you, Dog.

"Dawg."

-What the hell?
-I invited him.

What do you want me to do?

What happened? What did he say?

Get ready
for a super gathering at Sebas's house.

-Yeah!
-Wow!

The max!

-He's watching.
-Uh…

-See you later. Gentlemen.
-Oh, well, uh…

-Excuse me. We'll keep in touch.
-I'll send you a pager.

-May I?
-Yeah, uncle.

I knocked on the door now.
I didn't catch you working out.

Oh, no. It's all tucked in now.

Very good. Oh!

Look at you, man.

You're fucking handsome.

Yes, uncle. Today it's my first party
with the popular guys.

With the one and only Claudia,

-can you believe that?
-Oh! No, no, no.

Then I got here
at the best fucking time, you know?

-Yeah. Oh, uncle…
-Come over here.

-I'm on my way out.
-Two minutes, cabrón.

-Sit down.
-Okay, yes, sir.

-Shit. Chema…
-Okay. Yeah.

Beyond the promise I made to your father,
may God rest his soul,

I'm here for you guys.

For you, for whatever you need,
for anything. Am I clear?

-I know that. Thank you, uncle.
-Hold on! What's the fuckin' hurry?

-Oh…
-And I know this, times are different,

and the K'fé Club thing right now
is trendy.

And well… I bought you something. Okay?

Look, I know you can find all kinds
of shit with those new phones, but here.

-Mm-hm.
-There's nothing like

a good old-fashioned hand job, you know.

If you want

to explore, you know,

-the female body…
-Oh, no, uncle.

-…or learn about women.
-Let's…

Don't think I didn't stay up to date.
I brought the trendiest product

in the market of the sex industry.

Look. The Pocket Pussy.

-No, uncle. Put that away.
-No, calm dawn. Here.

-Look how it feels.
-Oh! No, no, no!

Don't be afraid, doesn't bite.

-Looks like an alien.
-It speaks, "I wanna fuck you."

-"I wanna fuck you." Here. Come on, son!
-Ugh, stop it!

It feels good, check out the texture,
look how it feels! Look. Huh?

-It's nice! Huh?
-You're right, yeah.

-Oh that hand is getting playful, you see?
-No way! Put it away.

It's nice.

Okay, then, but really.

Listen. This is important.

-Don't let her give you a hug.
-What?

But why?

Look, Chema,

something that drives me fucking mad,
but like really fucking mad,

to the point I say,

"Oh man, it's driving me fucking mad"…

-Uh-huh.
-…giving advice, okay?

If the broad gives you a hug,
forget her, son.

But what's the problem? The--

Couples hug all the time,
don't they, uncle?

Oh, Chema, listen.

Think whatever you want
that makes you happy, okay?

But if the broad gives you a hug,
she's gone.

Goodbye, it's hopeless.

You'll be nothing but a reliable friend.

Oh… No, uncle, you haven't seen us,
but Claudia and I are much more than that.

We're way more than friends.

"The Sweetie." Extremely naive.

So much so that he comes to think
that he could be more than just a friend

with the unattainable girl of his dreams.

-No.
-Oh! Now drink it.

-Didn't you say we were done with parties?
-Oh, man, they invited Chema.

I don't understand
why you didn't let me invite Ana

and I won't talk to any other girl, okay?

They won't talk to you.

On the other hand, this striker here
is more than ready to score.

Don't even think
on turning into a disgusting perv again.

It happened once, man.

-What about you, Chema?
-Huh?

Who's your date for Christmas?
I've only seen you with Claudia.

Uh-huh, she's my date.

Who else?

This wimp!

Listen, Chema. What is Claudia to you?

Your friend?

Of course not!
We're way more than that, bro.

Okay, then, your best friend.

-Yes, well, we… More than that.
-No, no, no, bro, bro, bro.

That's the worst thing.

It's kind of

like scoring an own goal
before the game's over.

Like in the 90th minute, moron,

in a final!

No, you have no clue, man!

You really think Claudia
and I can't be a couple?

Gimme a break. You haven't seen us--

To be honest, no, man.

I say it as your friend.

Listen, I think your date for Christmas
should be a girl you feel connected to.

-With things in common.
-Claudia and I have many things in common.

Yeah, sure, I believe you.
Just tell me a couple of those things.

For…

For example…

Listen, morons,
Claudia and I will be a couple okay?

You'll see.

Good luck.

-Hello, Chemita.
-Hello, Chemita.

Hey…

-Do you want a mango shot?
-No, I don't like those.

-You're kidding me, right?
-Really?

Ugh, okay. Thank you.

-Bottoms up.
-Yeah, bottoms up!

"Bottoms up."

Did it

really have mango?

What's up with Claudia? She into Sebas?

Uh, uh, I don't know. Excuse me.

Sorry.

Oh that's sad. Poor sweetie dude.

Oh yeah, poor sweetie dude.

-Baby, come heere!
-Hi, Clau.

Come, come, come.

-Shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot!
-No, no, no, no! No, no! No!

More, more, drink it all, sweetie.

-Clau, you're hammered. Drink some water.
-No.

I'll take him for a minute.

-Yeah? 'Kay.
-Come, dude.

-I wanted to ask you something.
-What's up, Sebas?

What do you know about Clau?
I mean, it's just…

-What?
-…that I'm really into her.

Oh I don't know.

Does she have
a fisherman boyfriend in Aca?

Or what the fuck, dude?

Have you stalked her?

You know something or not?

-I do, I do. Yeah.
-Uh-huh?

She's… a les, man.

Huh? A lesbian? Really?

Uh-huh.

Gimme a break! Of course not.

For real, dude. She's super hyper lesbian.

Yeah… Man, look! Ultra lesbian.

I even thought there was a vibe

-between us.
-Nah, bummer.

-Bummer.
-Appreciate it, Dog.

Yeah, Seb. Anytime.

Ah, come on, man.

Just a second. Please, come on.

Hey!

Baby! Baby, I'm wrecked and Sebas
wants to take me home tonight!

-What?
-Yeah, I told him I'm down.

No! Come again? When did you say that?

-A while ago.
-No. No, no…

Oh can you believe it? I'm so excited!

Uh…

-Come, follow me.
-Where to?

-Come with me outside.
-Uh? What are you doing, baby?

-Here, hurry up, you can do it.
-No…

Come, please. Come on. Hurry.

Wow!

Okay, Clau.
You're safe and sound. I'm leaving. Okay?

No, no, no, no. Wait a minute.

Baby,

can you do me a favor?

How does it feel?

Uh,
I'm not sure if it's the right fit,

but maybe a size bigger will do.

Sweetie, I mean,
if you don't wanna sleep

with me, it's okay.

I'll bring you some pillows,

some bedsheets…

I'll sleep with you!

Yeah, I don't want you looking for pillows
and bedsheets. All those things.

Oh, baby, thank you.

You are so sweet.

But, Chema,

I hate that my parents have to leave
all the time to visit my grandparents

and I stay alone.

Uh-huh.

But my FOMO makes me stay
for parties and all that stuff, you know?

Sure.

That is my favorite part.
Let's dance. Whoo!

Whoo!

-Baby…
-Mm-hm?

…besito means kiss.

The fail.

He who flops misses

and freezes when there is
the slightest intimacy with a girl.

Hey, Siri?

Yes?

How can I give a French kiss?

To give a French kiss,

wash your mouth,

tilt your head to one side,

and close your eyes.

-Stick out your tongue…
-Mm…

Baby!

Baby, I'm in shock.

What happened? Why?

Look! I have nothing from Sebas.

Nothing. Not even, like,
a text, a comment, or a, uh…

Nothing! I don't get it.
We were having a great time.

He offered to give me a ride.

But you brought me here, didn't you?

Oh-- Uh--
Yeah, you were totally plastered.

Try to recall.
Uh, you wanted to come here, you said.

Uh, I mean, Clau,
I left the party with you

to bring you here
so you wouldn't be alone.

-Hm…
-Don't you remember that?

And, Clau…

Honestly…

You're too good for Sebas.

He's a fuckboy!

You should be with someone who's more…

Uh… I mean…

like different.

-You get what I mean?
-Oh, baby, I love you!

Don't let her give you a hug.

What? Don't push me like that!
What the fuck?

Come. Mm.

Please hug me. Mm.

"Reliable friend."

Baby, can I tell you something?

Mm-hm?

Mh… You're my best friend.

Ha ha! This shit looks amazing, wow…

Yes, sir, it's on, cabrón!

You had never done this
with the napkins, Mom.

So what? The table looks nice, right?

Yeah.

What's with you, José María?

You don't help me with the table

or let me watch this awesome show
recommended by your uncle.

That just what I wanted
to talk about, Mom.

Oh! About your uncle
renting an apartment next door?

Huh?

He has business in the city
and he doesn't wanna use your room.

Oh cool.
I mean, he's been here for a while, right?

-Mm-hm.
-But that's not it.

I mean, it's related,

but tell me, Mom.

What is uncle Jaime to you, Mom?

-What?
-That's it.

What would you do
if he had feelings for you?

Don't say stupid things.

He's like a brother to me.

But what would happen
if he wanted something more?

Uh, and he wanted to be…

-a couple?
-Couple?

There's no way!

Just pretend for a minute.

What could he do
to make you change your mind?

-I have--
-Nothing. That's impossible.

What do you mean impossible?

Why are you asking these questions?
What's the matter? What's goin' on, huh?

I've been hanging out with someone new.

Is it Claudia?

Come on, sweetie, tell me!

She's my dream girl, Mom.

You should see
how much she stands out from others.

-She has a lot of virtues?
-Oh! Where should I start?

She's from Acapulco.

Her skin color is… And her voice is mh!

She takes yoga lessons,
pole dancing lessons.

Pole dancing, Mom!

You should see her spin
and spin and spin on top of the pole.

-On a pole…
-Yeah.

Okay…

I figured
you were more into girls like Eli.

With things in common,
like music, my love.

But Eli is kinda my cousin, isn't she?

No, no, no, she's not your cousin.

When we all went out as couples,

you two would call us "auntie" or "uncle,"

but you're not related.

I was right.

Well, that's not the point!

I know Claudia wants something with me,

-but sometimes she's a bit wei--
-No! Say what?!

-No, no, no.
-"No, no, no," what? What's going on?

Oh, sweetie!

Oh my God! Chema… you are her Dog.

Yeah, "dawg." That's what Sebas calls me.

-What up, "Dawg"?
-Oh bollocks! No, no, no.

Chema, it's not "dawg" with "w,"

it's "dog" with a "o" like in pets.

You're basically Claudia's dog!

"The Dog," with an "o,"

is the exclusive human pet
of any spectacular girl.

A dog will never have
any possibility of contact

or sexual attraction
with the girl of his dreams.

And that is a "dog" with an "o."

-Please stop, Chema.
-No, leave it. Leave it.

Why would you say that?

Mom, because it's a fact.
Come on, what did you want?

To keep him infatuated? Poor biscuit.

Please stop talking
like a British girl, sweetie.

I can't stand it!

"Dog."

Who are you dreaming of?

-What?
-Who are you dreaming of?

Oh… nobody.

Christmas party is soon.
Do you have a date?

I'm sure you do.

Do you care, man?

Yeah! Why wouldn't I?

Chema, because you stood me up, dude.

And now you ask about my date?

Eli, I'm truly ashamed, I'm--

-I wanted to go, it's just that day…
-Whatever.

No! I mean it, I'm really sorry.

Can we apply for the auditions?

The auditions are over.

Oh man…

Are they over for real?

Ugh, I'm sorry.

I am such an asshole.

Apparently, that's the only thing I am.

Forgive me.

Chema.

Don't worry.

Really.

Why wouldn't I?

It was terrible.

Well, yeah, but it's over, okay?

A MOTION PICTURE
OF ALEJANDRO GONZALEZ IÑARRITU

Come on! You haven't watched this movie?

No, Chema… No way!
Amores Perros is my favorite!

Really, really, you need
to learn about lots of stuff, huh?

-Oh really?
-Yeah!

-Enlighten me, please, Eli.
-Uh, cinema?

Clau, I need to ask you something.

What's up, baby? All good?

No.

I didn't know the meaning of my nickname,
but I'm not an idiot, and now I know.

I need to know if you also believe I am…

The truth is I do.

-So you believe that I'm your…
-Yeah!

I believe
you can be my date for the party, Chema.

I've been thinking about it a lot.
I was dying to go with Sebas, but he's…

He's ignoring me,

so I think the best thing
to do is to go together.

Because I just have to go.

You and me at the Christmas party?

Yeah, baby. I'm telling you.

Together.

Oh yeah. Hey, Chema,
I bought my ticket for Cancún, my man.

-You were wrong, moron! Huh?
-What?

You're looking at the man
who's taking the hot Claudia Galeana

-to the party.
-Yeah, right, gimme a break.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, are you okay, man?

Oh my God, I swear it, dude.

And what did you say?

-Remember?
-About what?

That Eli had too much flow for me?

What? What did you say about Eli?

-You fucked up, Chema.
-Nothing. I'm not talking about Eli.

I was telling Hugo that Claudia
is my date for the Christmas party.

Wow, congratulations.

Eli's date's Toño Bravo, actually.
In case you are interested.

Hey, I'll go to see the history teacher.

Okay, honeybee. Take care

Honeybee? See you later. Yeah? Yeah? Yeah?

Okay.

-"Honeybee"?
-What?

Bro, no way!

Eli's going with Toño Bravo?

Lord Emoji?

Yeah, and, well,
it makes a lot of sense though.

-What? Yeah.
-That pair won Your Hit together.

Lord Emoji's playing his crappy music?

Hey, hey, hey, chill out a bit, okay?

Bro, I'm totally chill!
What do you mean?

I don't care about Your Hit
and whoever Eli dates.

-Ah!
-Woo!

-Whoo!
-I love you!

This is historic.

Major. Fuckboy. Ever.

Oh major fuckboy ever.

That guy gets you wet
like a category-five hurricane. Mm…

Alexa, shut up, dude.

But, you… Freaking lucky girl!
Has he told you yet?

Told me what?

What do you mean? About the party?

Uh-huh. The party.

Is he asking me out? No! No! No. Really?

I thought he wouldn't ask me, and…

And now I'm going with Chema.

What the fuck?

No! Come on honey!

-That is terrible. Alexa?
-That's a no!

Because your are making out all night
with your date and Frenching…

-Mm, and having sex!
-Please!

But also, FYI,
when it comes to getting blasted,

-you never take your Dog.
-Never!

-Your what?
-Oh my God!

You're clueless!

Your "Dog" with an "o"?

With an "o."

Your human pet. Literally your pet!

Literally your pet!

"Treat them like dogs

and they follow you like dogs"?

That is your Dog. That's your Chema.

Listen, sis, all popular A-class girls
like this queen

and, well, like us two, we all

have a Dog with an "o."

Mine is Manny, look.

Manny!

Oh! Perfect!

You look top-notch, Queen Hanna.

I know.

Manny glams me up because he's incredible.

But, sh, because I don't want him
to be famous and quit being my Dog.

Oh! Mine is Fer.

Fer!

Two more. You can do it, man.

Fer!

No. No, nothing!

Keep doing your push-ups, okay?

No kiss!

They are our Dogs,
but it's for a good cause.

Alexa helps Fer lose that extra weight

and I give Manny
the gift of being his muse.

Bottom line,
Chema is your Dog, not your Bae.

Do you need any of these two?

Okay.

See you later.

You're welcome.

When are you up for a race, dude?
Or what, you scared?

-See you tomorrow.
-See you, homie.

Okay.

What the…?

Clau!

What are you doing here?

How'd you get in?

With a little life hack I learned

along with this other.

But… but…

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but…

-Chema told me that…
-Forget whatever you were told by my Dog.

I want you now.

-And I want you.
-Come to my house.

Of course.

The number you have dialed
is not in service.

Sir, are you absolutely sure
you didn't see who Claudia left with?

Do me a favor, try to remember.

Listen, man,

if I have to tell you one more time,

I don't know!

Will you leave so I can close the gate?

Uh…

We're worried about you.

Everyone's had sex but you.

You need more contact.

To experience.

And I hope
you're all doing it in your lives.

No way! Miss Cholita?

Sweetie?

Sweetie, are you in your room?

Uh, yeah, yeah,

I'm coming, Mom!

No, I'm coming up!

Ready, huh?

Oh, Jaime. What would I do without you?
I mean it.

Now you will be able to watch TV.

From the living room,
the dining room, the kitchen!

-Anywhere you are.
-Come drink your coffee or it'll get cold.

Oh, yeah.

I will never forget
that there's nothing better for a hangover

than your famous sweet coffee,
dear Gloria.

I mean, you're really something.

The secret for good coffee
is making it with love.

-Gloria…
-It's about to start.

-We left it on the best part.
-Of course. Yeah, yeah.

I know you've always thought
of me as a friend.

-Oh…
-But for so many years…

For years,
I've been secretly in love with you.

Oscar, I have to confess…

that I've always been in love with you,

but we can't be together.

I know, I know,

but we can't waste more time.

That's so unfair! Jaime…

-Gloria…
-I love you.

And just like Oscar,

I've been wanting to tell you…

José María!

Were you attacked?

No, but that would've been better.

I'm on it.

Chema!

Hey, what the hell?

Will you just tell me what's wrong
or what happened to you?

I saw Clau with another guy.

Oh that explains it!

Now I can clearly see
why it looks like a fucking bear

scratched your back like an old log.

Well, I'm like this because Claudia
left me for another guy.

One of the popular dudes I told you about.

Come on, mijo, listen.

Come, come, sit down.

That little broad, Claudia, she has
the right to have more friends, right?

Yea, but they were too friendly.

Friends don't do those things.

Oh, poor boy. Of course not, but…

Hey, listen, but, Chema.

All women like to compare
to find out who's the best guy for them,

and I'm sure in this case,
you're that guy.

Or what?
Won't she be your date for the party?

Ah! There she is, man!

-Go ahead, answer it! There!
-Ah!

-Make 'er fall! Seduce her!
-Ah! Ah!

You go, champ! That's my fucking nephew!

Baby, can you explain
why I found all your clothes in my room?

What? N… I don't know what you mean, Clau.

Baby,

all your clothes have a name tag on it.

I mean, no problem,
we're besties, aren't we?

And I have to confess something.

The truth is
that I never stopped wanting Sebas

to be my date for the party

and then he invited me.

Oh sorry.

Baby?

Uh, don't worry about it.
It's fine, Claudia. I swear.

No, no, no,
but I'm gonna help you get a date.

No, no, no!

Uh, I actually kinda wanted
to ask somebody else to go with me.

Uh, what? Really? Who is she?

Uh, yeah.

With Eli.

I think you met 'er once.

Oh obvi!
The pretty one? The one who's into you?

What are you talkin' about?

The one who loves music.
She's totally into you.

You think I haven't noticed?
Baby, I have to hang up. Bye.

Oh…

RU ARE YOU SURE ELI'S GOING WITH
LORD EMOJI TO THE CHRISTMAS PARTY?

I'll go grab some food.

Do you want anything?

No, no, but thanks.

See ya later.

This is so cool.

What up?

It's so fucking awesome.

I know.

Well, congratulations.

And congratulations also for…

Toño Bravo.

Well, the guy that I know…

Oh, please don't say it…

You launch in January, right?

Yeah, but we're leaving everything
in place.

Cool.

A bird told me
you have rejected a few dates.

Aren't you coming to the Christmas party?

Yeah, it's just that

I think it's not my thing.

Oh.

If by any chance…

I mean, if by any chance…

we could go together,

you and me.

Would that sound like your thing?

Aren't you going with Claudia?

With Claudia? No, no, no.

-Of course not.
-Hm!

-That's what I heard.
-Oh…

that's weird
because it didn't even cross my mind.

Hm…

What do you think?

Do you want to be my date, Eli?

Oh, motherfucker!

Oh my God, cabrón!

Very nice!

Nowadays, kids get all dressed up
for Christmas!

The invitation said "Cool Gala," uncle.

Oh and you're wearing
your father's jacket, man.

You look like… Oh, man,
you're gonna make me cry, kid.

My mom was excited about it,
but it looks like shit on me, no?

No, of course not, son.

It looks awesome on you, huh?

Heh! And besides I'm thinking

it might bring you luck
with that broad Claudia, mijo.

I already told you I'm not going with her.

Yeah! I know that, cabrón! But I mean…

hope dies last, mijo!

And tell her how you feel,
for fuck's sake.

You better seize the moment
and if things get steamy,

and you get lucky…

if you two get turned on
like coal on the grill,

I've got you covered, huh? Ha ha!

They're your size, boy.

Don't think I didn't see
that monster you've got there!

-You didn't knock, uncle.
-No, I know and I apologized.

I even thought that it would bite,
I said, "Put a leash on that thing,"

ha ha, cabrón.

I love you, uncle.

Hm.

I love you very much.

Ah, cabrón.

You know I love you too, mijo.

I love you very much, huh?

Hey, hey, hey! Stop it.

I'm getting all emotional.

-You're gonna make me cry, kid.
-Hey, uncle!

-Hey, cabrónes!
-You drinking or what?

Vámonos! Let's go!

Well, I'm leaving.
-Go on, have fun!

Thanks for the little gift.

-Huge, actually.
-Go on! Take care, son.

-Let's go, Chema!
-Hey, cabrónes!

You've grown so much! Oh my God!

We'll be back early, sir.

What the fuck
would I want him back? Take him, Hugo.

Yes! Cheers!

-Bye, uncle!
-Don't do stupid things, cabrónes!

Just a couple, eh?

Cheers!

-I told you it'd be amazing.
-Damn, dude.

-Come on. You were right.
-Yeah!

Giddy-up!

Hey.

-I have a surprise, guys.
-No way, dude!

My mom says it's for good luck.

-Wow. It's super cool.
-And today it'll be to the top homies.

Thanks so much, bro.

Thanks.

The max!

I fucking love you guys!

This night will be awesome.
The three of us are having sex.

I'll be fucking amazing.

You finally got down from that cloud
and realized Claudia's unreachable.

Well, I prefer Eli 1,000 times more
than Claudia, honestly man.

-Yeah, better than nothing.
-No, it's just that

Chema thought he was like Jon Snow
when he's on the boat with Daenerys.

That's heavy!

Who doesn't wanna fuck a cousin?

She's not my cousin, dumbass!

Why do you keep saying that?

And don't play coy
with the cash for the limo.

Are you serious?

-We're gonna pay.
-Yeah. Then hurry, asshole.

I'll transfer the money.

Gimme a break.

I have no data on my phone.

Okay, okay.

-To the best night of our lives.
-Yes, sir!

-Chill, man. Chill.
-'Kay. Cheers, guys.

What are you having?

Chema? What are you having?

-Uh, a beer.
-'Kay. Two beers.

Chema…

Listen, I've got something to show you.

-What's this?
-In middle school,

Ana and I made predictions of the future…

GOING TO THE CHRISTMAS PARTY
ELI OCTOBER, 2017

…and I said I'd come
to the party with you.

I found it last night in a drawer.
Can you believe it?

That long ago?

It's great
that your predictions came true.

Here.

-Well, cheers!
-Cheers!

How's everyone doin'
at this super anticipated Christmas party?

Shall we, guys?

One! Two! Three! The max!

What a tale, bro.

What, is she lesbian?

-What happened?
-Nothing.

Hey.

Another?

-Another.
-Okay. Now, what shall we drink to?

To being the most amazing person
I have ever met.

Likewise.

-Cheers!
-Cheers!

"Sacúdeme"!

No!

I can't believe it!

-No one knows it, of course.
-Absolutely no one else knows it here.

Just us.

Just us.

Baby?

What do you want, Claudia?

Oh sorry. Am I intruding?

Yeah.

It's just that I need to talk to you.

I'm busy. I'm with Eli.

Yeah, I've noticed.

But it's urgent. Please?

Can I borrow your date?

That decision is Chema's, not mine.

Go. I need to use the restroom.

Thanks, Eli.

Shall we, baby?

Come on.

What do you want?

I don't know, baby.

I felt very jealous
after seeing you and Eli

and I felt like being with you.

What?

I invited Eli
because you dumped me, Claudia.

Oh so basically, you forgot about me.

-That's mean, Chema!
-Come on!

The only thing I wanted was
for you to be my…

for you to be my girlfriend.

Really? Really, baby?

You and I together?

What's going on?

Can you imagine? Chema and me as a couple?

Bruh! No way!

Gimme a break.

Don't say it out loud. I said "wanted."

His girlfriend?

Thanks for watching after my girl, Dog.

Come on, babe.
Did he really tell you that?

He said he invited her
'cause I stood him up.

Was I really your consolation prize?

Eli, I swear you're not.

-How depressing. No, Chema!
-Eli, no!

No one makes me feel like you do.

I heard absolutely everything
you just said to Claudia!

Please.

What happened?

You are the worst guy on the planet!

-And I'm an idiot.
-There's nothing between Claudia and me.

Hey, leave her alone!

What's going down, my Jon Snow?

Huh? Did Ru tell you we'll go to my house?

What's wrong, man?

Oh! No fucking way!

All this fuss for you

to end up shaking hands with the milkman!

I don't give two shits about sex!

-But you are a perv and a moron!
-That happened just once!

I'm sick and tired of your bullshit jokes!

And I'm sick and tired
of your bullshit arrogance.

Always walking like the CEO of cool.

You ended up with nothing tonight, dude.

You know what?

You and Rubén can go fuck yourselves.

I'm down 'cause he's my friend.

Dickhead!

That's so sad.

And so, I got sloshed big time.

I love you, Mario B!

Ah!

Whoo!

Eh! Eh! Uh! Uh!

What?

-What? What?
-Give me that bottle now.

-You're totally hammered, sir!
-Yeah, so what?

Oh right, there I was.

Goddamn, cabrón!

Look at you, man!

Wait, come on, I'll help you. Here.

Damn, man!

I was on my way to work out

when I heard a blow
and look what the cat dragged in.

What? Oh look at those hickeys.

-How was the party? A success?
-Yeah. Yeah.

I killed it
with my father's '90s badass coat.

Livin' the high life, cabrón!

No, mijo, listen.

Something that drives me fucking mad,

but like really fucking mad,
to the point sometimes I say,

"Oh man, it's driving me fucking mad,"
is giving advice.

Well, if it bothers you so much,
then don't do it, eh?

Pipe down, son.

What happened last night?

You know you can tell me anything, uh?

-That's what uncle Jaime's here for.
-No, you're not my uncle.

Just as Eli is not my cousin.

And now that you've moved here
for your "deals,"

don't think I'm blind
to your true interests, huh?

You wanna fuck my mom,

but guess what.

My mom doesn't want anything with you.

Do you know why?

Because you're her fucking Dog.

Yeah. With an "o."

Just like me, a mere lapdog.

A pet just like me!

"Treat them like dogs
and they follow you like dogs."

"Dear Gloria,

I'll head home, right where I belong."

"I won't bother you anymore."

"Thank you very much

for all the love you gave me."

"You will always be in my heart."

-Hm?
-"All my love for you, my Begoña,

and my Chema."

"Jaime."

He left it with the car keys.

He's gone!

Do you know something?

I'm calling him on his cell phone,
but he doesn't answer.

I don't understand anything! Anything!

Mom, your voice is at 100 decibels
and my head is about to explode.

Of course it's gonna explode!

-I'm sure you got drunk!
-Ugh!

You know what?
Get up in this moment! Órale, move it!

Eh…

MY DEAR GLORIA
I'LL HEAD HOME, RIGHT WHERE I BELONG

Goddammit.

CALLING UNCLE JAIME

The number you have dialed
is not in service.

Please contact--

CALLING ELI

SPEAKER

ELI I HAVE NO WORDS,
I'M THE WORST GUY ON THE PLANET

I DON'T DESERVE YOU
SORRY

Come on.

I am such a moron.

Oh…

I am such a moron!

I am such a moron!

Did I shout "I love you, Mario B"?

Eli, can we talk?

No.

Eli, give me five minutes, please.

Just let me explain, please.

I really fucked it up.

Chema!

Just go away!

UNIVERSITY APPLICATION
FIRST CHOICE: ENGINEERING

I think that's…

I said poetry

just because I wanted
to see the look on his face.

Thank you.

Hey, you guys.

Mom.

Come here.

Mom! Mom!

Hey, Mom.

Do we have some kind of ribbons?

I don't know.

Mom?

What's wrong?

What is it?

I miss Jaime.

Ah!

I said it.

Finally, I said it.

Mom…

-I… I have to tell you…
-No. It is me who needs to talk.

We never say what we feel
because we choose to keep silent.

You'll be graduating this week.

And your dad must be very proud of you.

But I'm prouder, sweetie.

I've realized that nobody
should postpone speaking…

speaking and doing what we feel. Today!

Follow your heart,
your own steps, sweetheart.

You know that I love you
with all of my heart.

I love you, sweetie, I love you.

I love you too.

Dear uncle,

I promise this is the last time I write.

But I never told you the whole story.

I know, I know.

I fucked up and big time.

I thought that singing Mario Bautista,

being dumped,

ending up lonely as a dog,

and falling headfirst

over a condom was hitting rock bottom.

But I was wrong.

So that's it.

I was mean to the person
who was taking care of us.

Ironic, isn't it?

It's my graduation
and I can't imagine it without you.

I told you that I miss you,
but the truth is,

the three of us miss you

-and love you very much, uncle.
-My dearest Chema, my softie student.

-Hey, can you help me…
-I'm sorry, Miss,

but I'm not a softie anymore.

She had it coming.

-Hey.
-Eli!

This is yours.

Thanks.

ROCK FROM ARGENTINA. JAPAN.
MEXICO. FRANCE. USA.

HAMILTON SANG "I DREAMED YOU WERE MINE
A THOUSAND TIMES"

I DREAMED IT MORE

I'll be right back.

Go right.

Fer.

I love how I look.

Throw it back.

Manny!

No, Manny. No.

I'm sick of this stuff!

-Stop it, fucking Dog. Gimme the ball.
-No, I won't stand it anymore!

This thing you're doing is vile!

Does it give you confidence?

Aren't you enough?

Because I wasn't.

I thought that by going

to this silly party…

with one of the hottest girls
in this place

my life would improve.

But on the contrary…

I lost the best friends I have.

And I lost the most freaking awesome girl.

Manny.

Manny, you are a fucking artist.

Just please look at Hanna.

I swear you're gonna make it.

And you, Fer.

You are the most intelligent guy
in the entire school.

Who wouldn't like to hear your opinions?

Who wouldn't like to know a guy like you?

Who wouldn't like to be with you?

We have to stop this!

No one!

No one is no one's pet!

No one!

No one should be anyone's dog!

Because we are enough.

Go, Chema!

You're a GOAT, man!

You're the man!

Well done, Chema.

Whoo!

I love you!

You're awesome!

Graduates,
you may all take your seats now.

Your families are about to enter

and the ceremony is about to start.

-I don't think so.
-Show off!

-No, I don't.
-That's not fair!

-We should do a cruise.
-Have you ever been on a cruise?

No, I haven't, but just think,
you're in the middle of nowhere,

it gives me the creeps,
that's not right, you know?

I know, girl.

-Chema.
-Hi, Clau.

I just broke up with Sebas for you.

Anyways, we weren't doing well.

I swear, you were never my Dog.
I swear it.

And I want us to be a couple.

What? No, Clau, no.

What do you mean no?

-You've always wanted it, right?
-Yeah, but…

But no.

I'm sorry, but no.

Clau, to be honest,
I had no idea of what I wanted.

But now I know.

And in part that's thanks to you.

Hey!

But we can be friends, hm?

-Best friends. Okay?
-Mm-hm.

Oh! Hello!

-Hey.
-Excuse me.

-Excuse me.
-Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Come, come, Fer.

Hey, you!

I think we're going to…

Thank you.

Have you listened to it?

Bros, I'm sorry. I genuinely screwed up.

No, no, no, Chema…

I was a bad friend.

I'm sorry.

But you never lost us.

We're brothers.

-We are brothers.
-Fucking corny.

Man, I'm sorry.

-Forgive me.
-Don't say anything, homie.

I love you, brother.

And I love you.

I don't know,
I'm not that bad, I like that.

The max!

-Are you ready for the college?
-They say girls in college are goddamn!

Yeah, dude, goddamn

because they can put you in jail
if you're too horny.

-It was only once.
-Careful!

I hope that my day will come.

Of course it will, dude.

It's okay if you haven't had sex.

Sometimes you can't.

What do you mean?

-Pili and you at the party…
-Well, Pili escaped.

She didn't escape.

I'll summarize it.

We were in the mood, chilling at my house,

-when…
-When what, man?

I don't know, I kinda felt
like I wanted something special.

Not doing it while we were wasted.

That's cool. That's cool, Hugo.

I'm very proud of you, dude.

You should listen
to the stories of these sex beasts.

No way!

Are Ana and you sex beasts?

Do you know furries?

-No. What is that?
-Sh!

It's about to start.

Let the ceremony begin.

I would like to sincerely thank all of you

for being here at this moving event.

It seems like yesterday when we just saw
these young kids come in

and now we are saying goodbye to them.

So thank you very much for joining us.

Congratulations.

Alexa Camargo.

Thanks, Professor.

Thanks, thanks, thanks!

Oh!

I'll miss you so much. Oh!

José María Cervantes.

Woo-hoo!

Thanks, Miss.

Thank you very much. Miss.

Claudia Galeana.

Well done, mijo!

Bravo, cabrón!

-Uncle!
-Well done!

Hey, motherfuckers!

Hey, uncle!

Jaime…

-Bro, my uncle's here!
-I'm so happy for you!

-I knew it, man.
-What's that?

-Picture. Let's do it.
-Good idea. How does it look?

-Ready?
-Yeah.

The last pic.

Oh, brother.

Come with us to Cancún.

-it won't be the same without you.
-What?

-You're not going to Cancún?
-Uh…

-I'm going to look for my parents.
-Yeah.

I spent all my savings on some gifts.

Chema, thank you.

I'm dying to listen to your LP,
Mr. International.

Hey, but your poster, I can't accept it.

Yes, you can.

I want you to have it.

Eli!

-You have to go. Yeah…
-Yeah, I know.

Look.

Oh, sweetie.

Hey, uncle.

You're a little motherfucker!

Idiot.

-Give your brother a hug.
-Congratulations.

Baby sis.

-Oh, baby.
-Hey, Mom.

-I love you.
-Me too.

-Mijo… your gift.
-Oh…

-What's this?
-I'll give you some advice

I wanna give.

Huh? Celebrate.

Fucking celebrate.

Uh, it's not every day
that you graduate, mijo.

Thanks, uncle.

-And guess what?
-What?

I'm not gonna study engineering.

Shit.

How so?

I'm gonna study music.

I'm so fucking proud, son!

Huh? Yeah!

-Now with your father's coat.
-Ah…

Who knows what you did to it,
but now it actually looks incredible.

Yeah.

Now that I'm cryin',
there's somethin' I need to tell you all.

This time I haven't come temporarily.

This time I brought all my shit with me.

-What do you mean?
-All my belongings. My shit.

My possessions.
My stuff. Dear Begoña, my stuff, man.

-Oh…
-I just… I just…

wanna be close to you…

-Aw…
-…forever.

Oh I love you all.

You're gonna make me cry, kid.

So this is your fantasy?

Excuse me.

One person at a time per restroom
and it's first-class only.

Papi, open up!

Don't stop.

Come on, bro!

Almost there? Hm?

Give it to me! Give it to me!

Yeah.

Mario B.

Dále, papi. Miss, this is first class.

The Dawg.

Considered a superior being
among the female species.

All the girls dream of having one.

Its origin is unknown,

but it is rumored that a Dawg
was formerly known as a Dog with an "o."

Mario! Mario! Mario! Mario!