Original subtitles

Woman: What the hell!

Woman: I'm not from around here.

I was just driving, looking for an atm.

I looked at my radio for two seconds.

Officer: Yeah. It's happened before.

Why is there a freaking statue in the middle of the street?

It's just always been there.

Well, it's dumb.

Four hundred years ago,

brave settlers landed in a new world.

They cleared dense forests,

survived unforgiving winters

and befriended their native American counterparts,

all in the service of founding the very town

in which you're standing right now.

I'm Nathan rutherford, and it is my distinct honor

to introduce you to some of those men and women.

But before I do that,

does anyone have to go potty?

All right, I'm gonna hold you to that.

Come on.

Now, our journey begins with this man.

Lawrence rutherford, founder of this town

and my patriarchal ancestor.

Fun fact: I'm actually the last rutherford

to live here in rutherford falls.

Anyone see the resemblance?

I definitely see it. It's in the jaw.

The shoulders, the chest

and probably some other places.

Okay. Thank you.

In 1932, then governor of New York state,

Franklin d. Roosevelt, visited rutherford falls.

And he enjoyed a hot slice of Lucy rutherford's

rhubarb pie

right here in this chair.

I still get chills thinking about it.

And then he cried,

"I banish you all to hell, possums."

And thus ended the possum infestation of 1747.

And Lawrence rutherford gazed upon the majestic valley

and thus declared,

"this is where we belong."

And so, in 1638, he brokered a uniquely fair and honest deal

with our neighbors, the minishonka,

thus establishing our town.

Now, the terms of the deal

were laid out in this document.

One of those terms was to honor the exact location

the deal was made.

Which is why, a century later,

both parties came together

and erected a statue of old Lawrence,

affectionately known today as big Larry.

Question.

Did they make a statue of any minishonka?

Great question. And...

Bronze was very expensive at the time.

So, they really only had a budget for the one.

So, but if you're interested

in minishonka history,

then I strongly encourage you

to visit their cultural center

which is run by my good friend Reagan...

Ta, ta, ta, ta.

Put that back, please. Thank you. Okay.

No, no, no. See, these exhibits,

they all need to remain historically accurate.

It's very precise.

Why? It's funny. They're kissing.

In what world is vandalism funny?

No, it's... it's fine.

Why don't we visit Avery p. Rutherford's frame room?

He believed that the frame, not the painting,

deserved center stage.

Come on.

The history of indigenous people

is the greatest story never told.

So, I'm honored to serve as director

of the minishonka cultural center.

A place where our people won't be overlooked.

Uh...

But there's more to be done.

Which is why we should go all in

on a major museum expansion.

If we double down, we'll be saying,

"winner, winner, cultural center..."

Jesus. God, you sound ridiculous.

I just won 800 bucks on a judge Judy slot machine.

Oh, that's great. Congrats.

How much?

I wanna buy something for my Rita.

She'll fill this with seashells.

We go for a lot of walks. No, no.

Ooh, I'm so glad you have an active hobby at your age,

but this is a work of art and it is not for sale.

How much is this one?

Do y'all sell shot glasses?

Shot glasses, yes.

They do sell them at the gift shop.

This is the cultural center. Totally different.

And actually, we're closing early,

so I'm just gonna have you both come with me.

Thank you so much for stopping by.

Go ahead and go gamble away your 401 k's.

And so the birth of rutherford falls

signifies the dawning of a new era

of peace and prosperity

that continues to this day.

The future of rutherford falls...

Is glorious.

Okay, everyone, that concludes our tour.

And now our museum associate director/intern

Bobbie Yang, will hand out some complementary

astronaut ice-cream.

Whoa. One at a time.

I know we're the same size, but I am your elder.

Oh, okay.

Bravo, Nathan, you've made history come alive

and you awakened things in me and the students.

Different awakenings.

That's super kind of you to say.

I hope you enjoy your astronaut ice-cream.

I intend to enjoy every bite.

Hmm.

Nathan: Oh! Is...

It's dehydrated.

Is it? Are you sure?

It's chalky. I'm getting it back.

I'm getting it back.

Do you like Italian?

Man, you've really got to ask Ms. Fish out

before she dies trying to drop a hint.

What? Not gonna happen.

I mean, she's nice, but...

She doesn't get it.

You always say that.

But what do you mean,

like, what's there to get?

Like, everything that matters in the world.

Everything that's important.

I just find people either get it or they don't.

Okay. So, in your mind, who gets it?

You, obviously. Thank you.

Tom petty, missy Elliot. Nelson Mandela.

Cheech marin, the dollys.

Parton and...

Lama. Ohl

taika waititi, your uncle Ernie.

Okay. There's just...

A whole bunch of people.

Well, I feel like I'm in pretty good company.

You are, because you get it.

Me and taika.

These are so nice.

Thank you so much for making them for me.

Proper signage is the sharpest arrow in one's quiver.

Let me finish this one and then we'll do another run through.

Sure you have time?

You said that prepping for founder's day

is making your hair fall out.

Well, it always grows back and this is important.

If this goes well, you can have a real museum.

Mmm-hmm. Totes.

I'm gonna barf. Feeling very barfy.

I should cancel. Just let me cancel.

We can go to lunch, you can eat all my fries.

Reagan Blanchard Wells.

Nathan Collins rutherford.

You're ready, okay?

You've been planning this for months.

No. You know what?

You've been planning this since the fourth grade.

And that's why I'm freaking out.

If Terry says no,

then I'm really stuck at thisjob, like, forever.

Look, I get it, you're scared.

But sometimes you just have to plant your feet and say,

"this is what I want,

"but also, it's the best idea, and you know it."

Yeah. And that works for you?

Try it. Come on.

Okay, run through. Right now, here we go.

I'm Terry Thomas, I run the casino.

I'm scary and loom large in your life.

Okay, Nathan. You've had stress dreams about me

in which we're at Chuck E. Cheese

and you haven't won any tickets.

Uh, that was told to you in confidence, man.

I know. And it's, like, my favorite story.

Oh, my god. Come on. Okay.

Just focus. You've got this.

Okay.

The history of indigenous people

is the greatest story never told.

Ooh, that's good.

Which is why I'm honored...

To be...

Oh. Sorry. Oh, my god.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. Hello?

Nathan. Corbin Hayes, daily star.

Heyl purple Hayes.

What's happening?

You know, ramping up founder's day coverage.

But actually I'm calling to request a quote

in response to mayor chisenhall's decision to move big Larry.

I'm sorry, whose decision to move what?

You can't move big Larry!

Hi, Nathan. Come on in.

The town charter is very clear.

You have to commemorate the exact spot

where the town was founded.

That's history, Deirdre. You can't change history.

Unless you got a time machine.

And you don't, because if you did,

you'd go back in time and tell yourself

not to buy that blazer. Yeah.

Woah, woah, Bobbie.

Coming in a little hot there.

That was a sick burn, though. Thank you.

This is the fifth time someone's crashed into that statue

since I've been mayor.

Fifth.

It's a public safety issue.

But it is also an historical preservation issue, so_.

Nathan, in case you haven't noticed,

this isn't a great time for people who love statues.

What?

Whoa. Okay, no.

Big Larry's not one of those statues.

Lawrence rutherford was a hero.

- He brought people together. - He's a uniter. Uniter.

The minishonka helped build the statue,

it's as much their history as ours.

Okay. Switching gears.

Your family's been in this town almost as long as mine.

I respect your position as a chisenhall.

And as the mayor. Yes, that.

Yeah, for sure.

All I'm saying is I think there's a solution

that makes my grandpa Lawrence

and your grandpa Wright...

Hello, sir.

Proud.

Nathan, what're you talking about?

What are you ever talking about?

I'm saying we crack open a bottle of scotch,

sit by a roaring fire,

and we don't leave until we get this hashed out.

I can accept that your being this town's mascot...

How dare you! What?

Means you get to be a complete pain in my ass.

Oh.

But you have no real power here.

Now, you are welcome to plead your case

at the town council meeting in three months.

Oh, am lwelcome to do that? Am I?

Good. 'Cause guess what?

Gonna do that.

Yep.

Sorry, did you want this closed?

Please. You got it.

Oh, did you finish your science project?

She's showing Terry her latest invention,

a state-of-the-art ass-kissing machine.

Thanks, guys.

Feels great to have the support of my community.

Reagan: The point is, the cultural center should be a real museum.

Right now, most people only come in

to charge their phones.

But a major budget increase could have a huge impact.

Sorry. I get very sweaty when I'm...

._confident

What I'm saying is,

what is the purpose of all of this profit

if we're not investing it back into the tribe?

We put four million towards language preservation,

early childhood education, and the women shelter.

Are you suggesting we out those budgets for your project?

No... wow.

That's very cool that we do that.

I had no... no, absolutely not.

What's all this gonna cost?

Uh, high figure?

$650,000.

But if we cut corners...

$650,000.

I'm sorry, I've never cut corners.

It's just too much money.

And for that reason, I'm out.

Is that shark tank?

Butldolove yourflgnage.

Yeah. Thank you. You seem smart.

I'm guessing lots of college. Not Ivy league,

but so close, it drives you crazy.

Northwestern.

See, that's great...

._because_.

I'm on the precipice of a very exciting venture.

Thanks.

Is there more?

Okay. This is all I can share.

But running lightning is my boldest initiative yet,

and I'd like you to be part of it.

Oh, like, well, I'm flattered.

But, you know, the cultural center is my focus. So...

And also...

Sometimes in life, you just gotta say...

When would I start?

When the stars align.

When grandmother blue corn sings in that old way.

Okay, Terry, I'm not a white tourist,

so talking like that doesn't work on me.

Roughly three to five years.

Nathan: Duz, hey, it's your brother.

I'm in a knife fight with a chisenhall,

and I need some backup.

Hey, man. You sound pretty high-tone. What's up?

Go to your pantry. What?

There's a crack in the molding behind the spice rack.

Push on it.

There's a secret compartment back there.

What are you talking about, man?

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Dad, cursing.

I'm sorry.

I hid documents all over your house,

their location's on a need-to-know basis.

Listen, if you're gonna pull some national treasure shit

in my kitchen, I need to know.

Both: Dad! I'm sorry.

You know what, though? It's also rude to eavesdrop.

Nathan, what is all this stuff?

It's just a bunch of stuff mom left behind.

There's family paperwork, medical records,

but there should be a red folder with notarized documents,

and I think there's something in there

that might actually help me stop Deirdre.

Duz, she's out for blood.

She's trying to poison the town by moving big Larry.

Oh, there was another car accident, wasn't there?

I don't think that's relevant.

Nathan, listen to me, man,

staying in that town has given you tunnel vision.

I think you need to put your energy somewhere else.

Duz, you get what I'm trying to do here, right?

Of course, I do, Nathan, of course.

I mean, all I'm saying is,

our family history's, like, 400 years old.

You know, maybe just leave those stones unturned.

Okay, you are my elder.

You have carried the name of Lawrence sr. Down 12 generations.

You are very fair and wise.

Tell me what to do, and I will do it.

I think you should let them move the statue.

I cannot do that.

The whole reason that Deirdre even ran for mayor

was to erase the rutherford name

from this town's identity.

Exactly.

It's like all these people in charge

are trying to kill your dreams

mmm-hmm. With their language programs...

And their women shelters.

Exactly.

Didn't totally follow, those sound super important.

They are. But agreed,

Deirdre is a dream killer.

Yeah. Oh, and let's not forget,

Terry did not say no outright,

so your dreams, not totally dead.

Yeah. They're in, like, a coma.

Somehow, that's sadder.

There's a lot of brain activity, though.

It's hopeful. It just...

He's gonna come around... yeah.

Because what you're proposing is so cool.

I agree.

It's not just cool. It's, like... it's meaningful.

Thank you. You're welcome. God damn it.

And how do people not realize that my family is meaningful?

You know? Rutherfords are entrepreneurs, congresspeople.

There's a huge corporation in midtown Manhattan

that we started, like, 300 years ago, you know?

I'm the one connecting all those dots.

I'm the one telling the whole story.

I am the steward of my family's legacy

that will resonate throughout history.

Hmm. That's not nothing, jerks.

It's not nothing.

Mmm-hmm. And they are jerks.

Today is making me realize

how many people out there just don't get it.

You know what? Hey, there is nothing

you've ever put your mind to that you haven't accomplished.

When we were kids,

we used to dream of starting a museum,

and by the time I had gotten two masters and come home,

you had a museum.

You're gonna get yours too.

You just gotta keep working at it.

You gotta let the universe know what you want,

and that's when you get it.

That's how it works. Totally.

That's how it works for everyone.

Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. For sure.

All right. Focus.

What are you gonna do?

Well, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna get this town on my side. Yes.

I'm gonna fight for my family's legacy. Yesl

what're you gonna do?

I'm gonna wait three to five years

for Terry to launch a project

that he didn't totally specify.

Okay, playing the long game. That's smart.

Mmm-hmm. In the meantime, can you help me with my thing?

Always.

Moving big Larry will change this town.

Change is bad. Why?

Because it makes things different.

Your grandpa Jack likes to sit on his front porch.

What if I just walked over, picked him up,

and put him down somewhere else?

Yes! Thank you, Margie.

That statute symbolizes centuries of freedom

between our two sovereign nations.

We can never give that up.

Deirdre chisenhall refuses to leave, okay.

There is a movement afoot.

Herps, blow the roof off of this thing.

All right.

He's got an uncontrollable urge

I've got an uncontrollable urge

the statue issue cuts the heart of our deepest freedom.

Yes, yes. Liberties, liberties.

Nathan: At the veteran's hall,

but the thing is, with these military guys,

you better be on time.

Hey, Nathan. Right on!

Lefstake our country back!

Heck yeah, Debbie!

Reagan: Take it back from who?

Girl! What's this?

Oh, man. Okay.

I know Terry ain't trying to give you money

for some bougie little museum.

No, this is for Nathan.

Nathan rutherford really needs help

keeping what he's got?

We help each other.

Okay, he made the science for my presentation.

That dude's got your head messed up.

Like, you two got the same problems?

Right. Like iron man and captain america,

both fighting on the same team.

You ain't iron man.

Nah, you're more like hawkeye.

The lame one with no powers who gets his ass kicked.

I'm not hawkeye, all right?

I'm the one guy with the fire circles.

So... look, starting a museum is really hard,

and whatever you think of him,

Nathan is helping me.

Okay, hawkeye. Have fun getting your ass beat

while captain america over there takes all the glory.

Reagan: Hey, we need to talk.

Okay.

Okay, um, well, sometimes in life

we're strong enough, to withstand a big wave,

but in holding firm

we're unable to move with the tide,

which is essentially swimming.

And who doesn't love to swim?

Oh, uh, my great aunt ida, terrified of the water.

When she was a kid, she fell off a riverboat

and got caught in that big red paddle.

I think you should move the statue.

You're not kidding.

Reags.

Thought you got what we're doing here.

I... I.Do I did.

But, Nathan, you're stirring up all kinds of weird shit.

I mean, Debbie's on your side.

Psycho Debbie.

Psycho is a strong word.

She thinks Bill Gates is a lizard wearing a human suit.

She's a wack-a-do, yes, but_ yeah.

On this issue she's on my side,

and I'm just trying to build the coalition.

I will do whatever it takes to preserve our history.

But that's... that's the thing.

It's... it's your history.

And look around, bud,

there's still hundreds of objects honoring your family.

I mean, your history is fine.

All I'm saying is that statue is core to who I am,

and if it can just be picked up and tossed around Willy-nilly,

with no regard for its historical specificity,

then literally, who am I?

Okay. What you're describing is my entire life.

It's literally something

I have to deal with every day.

Well, that sounds horrible.

It is.

So, I get what you're going through.

But I'm asking you, please just... just move big Larry.

Hey...

This is what I want,

but it's also the best idea, and you know it.

Hey, those are my words.

But you said 'em better than me.

That was awesome. Thanks.

Oh, good!

How would this even work?

Okay. We move big Larry to your museum,

and we honor the original spot

by placing a flat brass medallion

in the road where big Larry once stood.

Then, you open a new exhibit

and it's all about your decision to move big Larry

and everything you went through.

You could even make a video,

and it's about how you did

this noble gesture for our town.

You could finally play yourself.

We'll film it at dawn,

as the sun is cresting over big Larry like a halo.

And his spirit will emerge.

And he'll reach out to Nathan

and he'll shake his hand and he'll say,

"thank you, son, for your big sacrifice."

"And thank you for all that you have accomplished,

"which is, by comparison,

"way more than I ever accomplished."

Well, we can play with it. Of course, yeah.

No, no, we'll work it out.

That was like a first blurt.

Yeah, it was good. I gotta work on it.

Powerful. Yeah. I'll make it a little bit less...

For sure... on the nose or whatever.

For sure, yeah.

And cue music.

And cue Nathan.

Happy founder's day, rutherford falls.

You know, our fair town wasn't always going to be

called rutherford falls.

That's right, old Lawrence changed his mind six times.

At one point he was dead set on naming it

after his brother, Horace.

You say that out loud, it sounds like whores-ville.

Needless to say, they moved on from that one pretty quick.

I guess what I'm trying to say is,

changing one's mind is distinctly rutherfordian.

And that's why I've changed my mind,

and I've come to the conclusion,

that it's the right thing to do to move big Larry.

Oh, yeah. Nope, it's okay.

Don't freak out. Don't freak out.

No, it's actually kind of exciting

becausethe new location is pretty cool.

Good for you, Nathan. Can we focus on the problems

that are actually important?

Well, big Larry's important.

More important than the opioid crisis.

Apples and oranges, Carla.

We should refurbish him.

He looks old and sad.

Okay, folks, this is not a q&a.

Uh, but... all right, buddy, let's wrap it up.

Support refurbishing, not resculpting.

Screw that, we should get a new statue.

That thing is like a billion years old.

What about, like, Jenna marbles, or my dog?

She's got like 2,000 followers on Instagram.

People, the moving of big Larry is on the table,

not replacing him.

Are you kidding me?

He's the heart and soul of this town.

I have something to say? Oh, no. Bonnie.

Not, not... in 1951,

a woman named juanita Cordova... not now, Bonnie.

Went into labor on her way to Albany.

We've had this argument, Bonnie. She couldn't wait

and gave birth to a daughter in rutherford falls.

That little girl would become

TV superstar Lynda Carter.

Wonder woman was born in our town.

Okay, yes.

A woman named Lynda Carter was born in our town.

There is absolutely no evidence

that it was the Lynda Carter who went on to TV stardom.

We are not building a statue of wonder woman in our town.

Deirdre, back me up.

I respect the voices of my constituents.

Let's chase this momentum, in a 100 years

who's gonna care about big Larry?

Woman: I don't care about him right now.

Is that right? Okay.

Man: That statue sucks.

Shut up!

Shut your stupid pie holes!

Just... yeah, 'cause you don't get it.

You're not getting it, okay?

A bunch of years ago, Lawrence rutherford wrote and signed

a legally binding agreement with the minishonka.

That's why this town exists.

That's why all of you exist.

Okay? Lawrence rutherford is our forefather.

He's our Adam and Eve, our tigris and euphrates.

And that statue which sits on my family's land,

commemorates all that he gave us.

And if you don't get that,

well, you'rejust an ungrateful boob.

You know what? I'm changing my mind again.

Big Larry's gonna stay right where he is.

Nope, not gonna budge.

Not only that, but I'm gonna double down on my efforts

to make sure each and every one of you

understands exactly how important he is

and why it's so important that he's there.

And if you disagree, you can burn in hell.

Yeah. Just burn right up.

We need to go get your boy.

Bud, let's uh...

Okay. No, but I'm not done telling these people

why they're wrong and stupid.

All right.

Okay. But there's gonna_.

You're going to hear more about this.

Geraldine, call an emergency board meeting.

Ifeelhkeifyou read a transcript of what I said,

a lot of it was pretty solid.

Sure.

Yeah, definitely.

Thsisgonna blow over. Yeah.

Oh, shit.

Woman: Hey, you should see this.

And that statue, which sits on my family's land,

commemorates all that he gave us. Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

Hey, Josh, you ready to go? Yeah, almost done.

Hey, you ever hear of a place called rutherford falls?

A thousand years ago, this land was a Metropolis of longhouses.

Indigenous people had complete autonomy

along the eastern seaboard.

All of this was ours.

I know, you all know this.

But have you taken a moment recently

to really think about what that would feel like?

Because now

many of us live in a country and a state,

and a town named after three different old dead white people.

Today, Nathan rutherford really stepped in it.

And while lfeelbad for the guy,

it's opened a door of opportunity for us.

And we must walk through it.

The time is now.

Today we launch operation running lightning.

Oh, sh...