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1
00:00:04,517 --> 00:00:06,919
Got talked into buying the big carriage.
2
00:00:06,985 --> 00:00:08,554
That's a lot of
carriage, let me tell you.
3
00:00:08,621 --> 00:00:09,888
- Hmm?
- Two horse powered.
4
00:00:09,955 --> 00:00:11,323
Wow.
5
00:00:11,391 --> 00:00:12,926
Ben Franklin, Sam Adams,
6
00:00:12,992 --> 00:00:15,294
and General Washington himself.
7
00:00:15,361 --> 00:00:18,364
I heard they're in town for
the big Freemason gathering.
8
00:00:18,431 --> 00:00:19,699
It's the most illustrious group
9
00:00:19,765 --> 00:00:21,067
of men in the American colonies.
10
00:00:21,134 --> 00:00:22,902
Oh, to be one of them.
11
00:00:22,969 --> 00:00:24,370
Oh, I think Ben Franklin's
12
00:00:24,437 --> 00:00:25,939
- actually coming over here.
- What?
13
00:00:26,004 --> 00:00:27,841
Laugh, man. Laugh like I've made a quip.
14
00:00:29,074 --> 00:00:30,643
Higgintoot.
15
00:00:30,710 --> 00:00:31,844
I trust you're well?
16
00:00:31,981 --> 00:00:34,951
Yes, well, three of my five nephews
17
00:00:35,018 --> 00:00:36,853
survived the winter, so we're pleased.
18
00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:38,787
Oh, excellent news. Excellent news.
19
00:00:38,854 --> 00:00:40,689
You know, I was actually
wondering whether
20
00:00:40,756 --> 00:00:45,060
you'd be free to drop by the
Freemason lodge this Friday at 5:00.
21
00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:48,131
- I could use a man like you.
- Of course.
22
00:00:48,197 --> 00:00:50,332
Ah! Splendid, then. I'll see you there.
23
00:00:50,399 --> 00:00:53,168
And, uh... ooh! Enjoy the view.
24
00:00:55,371 --> 00:00:57,073
Ah, yes.
25
00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:59,341
Knockers. My favorite.
26
00:00:59,408 --> 00:01:02,244
I wish she had three instead of two.
27
00:01:02,311 --> 00:01:04,280
Right.
28
00:01:04,346 --> 00:01:06,316
Damn those pesky wedding vows.
29
00:01:11,387 --> 00:01:13,621
Okay, great. See you tomorrow.
30
00:01:13,623 --> 00:01:15,858
- Thank you.
- Hmm?
31
00:01:15,924 --> 00:01:17,426
Jay, we just got another
booking for the event.
32
00:01:17,492 --> 00:01:18,861
- Yeah?
- Event? What event?
33
00:01:18,927 --> 00:01:20,697
Nothing was run by me
as lady of the house.
34
00:01:20,763 --> 00:01:22,731
Again... Because you're dead.
35
00:01:22,799 --> 00:01:24,299
But just to bring everybody up to speed,
36
00:01:24,367 --> 00:01:26,569
we are hosting a high-end
whiskey tasting...
37
00:01:26,635 --> 00:01:29,706
... and so far, the
feedback's been great.
38
00:01:29,771 --> 00:01:31,140
We even got a writer from Sippr NY
39
00:01:31,206 --> 00:01:33,343
to come review it, which is huge.
40
00:01:33,408 --> 00:01:36,111
Sippr is like Eater, but for drinks.
41
00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:39,081
To put it in terms you
still don't understand.
42
00:01:39,147 --> 00:01:42,284
Well, I don't like that the
event promotes alcohol use.
43
00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:43,786
Said the cocaine fiend.
44
00:01:43,853 --> 00:01:45,754
But I do like your
description of it as high-end.
45
00:01:45,822 --> 00:01:47,156
Sounds snooty. Well done.
46
00:01:48,493 --> 00:01:50,263
Oh, hold on.
47
00:01:50,329 --> 00:01:52,765
It's crazy you can
publicize a drinking event.
48
00:01:52,831 --> 00:01:54,400
In my day, when folks were boozing,
49
00:01:54,466 --> 00:01:55,801
you didn't know if you
were going to get arrested,
50
00:01:55,867 --> 00:01:58,871
get shot or go blind.
51
00:01:58,938 --> 00:02:02,340
Ooh-whee! It was fun.
52
00:02:02,408 --> 00:02:03,643
Are you sure?
53
00:02:03,709 --> 00:02:07,480
Okay. Uh, well, uh, thanks, I guess.
54
00:02:07,546 --> 00:02:09,181
Bad news, babe.
55
00:02:09,247 --> 00:02:11,384
Um, you know how I
was supposed to secure
56
00:02:11,450 --> 00:02:13,019
the liquor license
before the B and B opened?
57
00:02:13,086 --> 00:02:14,687
Might want to get down here!
58
00:02:14,753 --> 00:02:16,254
Sam and Jay are about to have a fight.
59
00:02:16,322 --> 00:02:17,689
Well, I forgot.
60
00:02:17,757 --> 00:02:20,659
But then, in kind of a hero move,
61
00:02:20,727 --> 00:02:22,594
last week, I realized that I forgot.
62
00:02:22,662 --> 00:02:24,329
Jay, the whiskey tasting is tomorrow.
63
00:02:24,396 --> 00:02:27,199
Which is why I have been
hounding the liquor board
64
00:02:27,265 --> 00:02:29,735
to expedite the process,
and that was them.
65
00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:31,637
And they said that the earliest
66
00:02:31,704 --> 00:02:33,706
that they can come to do an inspection
67
00:02:33,772 --> 00:02:35,441
is eight weeks from now.
68
00:02:35,508 --> 00:02:38,343
No. We've been serving
alcohol for months.
69
00:02:38,411 --> 00:02:40,312
Welcome drinks, wine
pairings with dinner.
70
00:02:40,378 --> 00:02:42,814
Wait, we have been doing it for months,
71
00:02:42,882 --> 00:02:44,349
and we haven't been caught.
72
00:02:44,417 --> 00:02:45,617
So what's one more day?
73
00:02:45,685 --> 00:02:47,687
Yes. Jay, I like your style.
74
00:02:47,753 --> 00:02:51,022
If we cancel on the Sippr
guy, he may never come back.
75
00:02:51,090 --> 00:02:53,126
We'll be blowing a huge opportunity.
76
00:02:53,192 --> 00:02:55,260
As the wife of a robber baron,
77
00:02:55,328 --> 00:02:59,198
if I might just add, sometimes
one must skirt the law
78
00:02:59,264 --> 00:03:01,067
to advance one's own business.
79
00:03:01,133 --> 00:03:04,669
This is nuts. Serving alcohol without
a license is a criminal offense.
80
00:03:04,736 --> 00:03:06,271
What are the ghosts saying?
81
00:03:06,338 --> 00:03:07,806
Well, Hetty's saying sometimes you need
82
00:03:07,873 --> 00:03:09,008
to bend the law in business,
83
00:03:09,074 --> 00:03:10,443
and Pete's arguing against.
84
00:03:10,509 --> 00:03:13,478
And whose mansion are
we standing in right now?
85
00:03:13,545 --> 00:03:14,713
Okay, I had a three-bedroom
86
00:03:14,781 --> 00:03:16,515
in a very good school district.
87
00:03:16,581 --> 00:03:18,683
I guess it's just one more day.
88
00:03:18,751 --> 00:03:21,353
Yes, Sam! Let's break the damn law.
89
00:03:23,756 --> 00:03:25,490
And please enjoy this cheese platter
90
00:03:25,557 --> 00:03:27,293
while we wait for the
other guests to arrive.
91
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:29,094
Thank you so much.
92
00:03:29,162 --> 00:03:31,129
Uh, Sam, why are we
wasting space on almonds?
93
00:03:31,197 --> 00:03:33,733
We need pungent. Where's the Roquefort?
94
00:03:35,534 --> 00:03:36,701
Who are the young folk?
95
00:03:36,769 --> 00:03:38,971
Ah, they're here for
the whiskey tasting.
96
00:03:39,038 --> 00:03:40,840
She's an art history
major, and he's a frat guy
97
00:03:40,906 --> 00:03:42,341
trying to prove he's not a douche
98
00:03:42,408 --> 00:03:43,909
by bringing her to this classy event.
99
00:03:43,975 --> 00:03:46,179
I am tired of people
stereotyping frat dudes.
100
00:03:46,245 --> 00:03:47,646
We are just as refined as the next guy.
101
00:03:47,712 --> 00:03:49,981
Babe, check it out.
102
00:03:50,049 --> 00:03:51,250
Frog testicles.
103
00:03:51,317 --> 00:03:53,686
Yes, he's a remarkable young man.
104
00:03:53,752 --> 00:03:57,689
Damn, I miss my frat days.
Great friends, epic parties.
105
00:03:57,757 --> 00:03:59,391
Isaac knows what I'm talking about.
106
00:03:59,457 --> 00:04:01,426
- He was a Freemason.
- What's a Freemason?
107
00:04:01,493 --> 00:04:04,563
We were the original
fraternal organization.
108
00:04:04,629 --> 00:04:08,401
Ben Franklin, George
Washington, Samuel Adams
109
00:04:08,467 --> 00:04:10,102
were counted amongst our membership.
110
00:04:10,169 --> 00:04:11,871
It was, like, crazy exclusive.
111
00:04:11,937 --> 00:04:13,271
The kid who played Chunk in Goonies
112
00:04:13,338 --> 00:04:15,740
was in my pledge class, so I get it.
113
00:04:16,675 --> 00:04:18,043
Here's an idea.
114
00:04:18,110 --> 00:04:19,711
What if we started our own fraternity?
115
00:04:19,778 --> 00:04:21,146
A ghost fraternity?
116
00:04:21,213 --> 00:04:23,983
- Oh, hell yes!
- A ghost fraternity?
117
00:04:24,050 --> 00:04:25,750
Okay, but how is that any
different than all of us
118
00:04:25,817 --> 00:04:27,653
just hanging out like we always do?
119
00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:30,055
Because a fraternity has
rituals and traditions.
120
00:04:30,122 --> 00:04:31,557
And a cool secret handshake!
121
00:04:31,624 --> 00:04:33,225
Yes.
122
00:04:33,292 --> 00:04:34,694
Also, it's slightly different
123
00:04:34,759 --> 00:04:36,127
than what we do every other day.
124
00:04:36,194 --> 00:04:38,798
Yeah! Anything different is good.
125
00:04:38,865 --> 00:04:39,899
Okay, fine. I'm in.
126
00:04:39,966 --> 00:04:42,468
Flower, what do you say?
127
00:04:42,534 --> 00:04:44,937
I forget what we were talking about.
128
00:04:45,004 --> 00:04:47,105
It's just like doing
bong hits with Chunk.
129
00:04:47,173 --> 00:04:50,276
I love it. This frat's gonna be amazing!
130
00:04:52,144 --> 00:04:53,713
Is that the guy from Sippr?
131
00:04:53,778 --> 00:04:56,548
Yep, and he is making
love to that whiskey.
132
00:04:56,615 --> 00:04:57,983
So what do you think?
133
00:04:58,050 --> 00:05:01,821
Notes of vanilla, dried fruit,
134
00:05:01,887 --> 00:05:04,023
a playful offering with which to start.
135
00:05:04,089 --> 00:05:05,557
Uh...
136
00:05:05,625 --> 00:05:08,293
If you'll excuse me, I'll be right back.
137
00:05:10,730 --> 00:05:12,964
- Hi. Jay Arondekar?
- Yes.
138
00:05:13,031 --> 00:05:16,067
My name's Sherry. I'm with the
Hudson Valley Liquor Authority.
139
00:05:16,134 --> 00:05:18,303
Sam, we're being raided.
Toilet, sink or drink.
140
00:05:18,370 --> 00:05:19,971
You got to get rid of the hooch.
141
00:05:20,038 --> 00:05:23,141
I'm here to inspect your
property for a liquor license.
142
00:05:23,209 --> 00:05:25,211
Oh. I thought you couldn't come
143
00:05:25,278 --> 00:05:26,612
for, like, eight weeks.
144
00:05:26,678 --> 00:05:28,213
Well, today is your lucky day.
145
00:05:28,281 --> 00:05:29,749
I had a cancellation
and was told you folks
146
00:05:29,814 --> 00:05:31,750
are in a bit of a time crunch.
147
00:05:31,817 --> 00:05:33,418
Now isn't exactly the best time,
148
00:05:33,485 --> 00:05:35,521
so maybe you could come
back, like, say, tomorrow?
149
00:05:35,588 --> 00:05:36,988
Once we arrive, if we're denied entry,
150
00:05:37,055 --> 00:05:39,658
- it's an automatic fail.
- Meaning...
151
00:05:39,725 --> 00:05:42,093
You'll have to wait a
year before you reapply.
152
00:05:42,161 --> 00:05:44,963
Okay, uh, would you
just hold on one moment?
153
00:05:45,031 --> 00:05:47,066
- No, wait... What?
- Thanks.
154
00:05:48,033 --> 00:05:49,468
This is not good.
155
00:05:49,534 --> 00:05:51,370
We can't be without a
liquor license for a year.
156
00:05:51,437 --> 00:05:53,238
We have to get the guests out of here.
157
00:05:53,305 --> 00:05:55,507
Wow. I guess someone's wishing
they listened to the fellow
158
00:05:55,574 --> 00:05:57,475
with the modest house after all, huh?
159
00:05:57,543 --> 00:05:59,946
What are we gonna do? Are we
gonna kick out the Sippr guy?
160
00:06:00,012 --> 00:06:02,113
Can you imagine the review he'll write?
161
00:06:02,180 --> 00:06:03,214
He'll shred us.
162
00:06:03,281 --> 00:06:04,483
- I have an idea.
- What?
163
00:06:04,550 --> 00:06:05,550
I said, "He'll shred us."
164
00:06:05,550 --> 00:06:07,086
I was talking to Alberta.
165
00:06:07,153 --> 00:06:09,689
Okay, well, you can see how
it's confusing, though, right?
166
00:06:09,754 --> 00:06:11,624
Well, you have a bunch of booze
167
00:06:11,690 --> 00:06:12,959
and a bunch of thirsty customers
168
00:06:13,024 --> 00:06:15,494
with Johnny Law
breathing down your neck.
169
00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:18,596
And you also have a secret
room with a hidden entrance.
170
00:06:18,663 --> 00:06:21,000
What are you saying, Alberta?
171
00:06:21,067 --> 00:06:23,201
Girl, I'm saying let's
do a damn speakeasy.
172
00:06:23,269 --> 00:06:25,571
Alberta's suggesting
that we sneak our guests
173
00:06:25,637 --> 00:06:27,273
into the vault and call it a speakeasy.
174
00:06:27,410 --> 00:06:29,245
That's a great idea.
175
00:06:29,310 --> 00:06:31,846
It's cool, it's down
a secret passageway.
176
00:06:31,913 --> 00:06:33,548
That's what I'm saying!
177
00:06:33,615 --> 00:06:35,216
We could sell it as part
178
00:06:35,283 --> 00:06:37,185
of the whiskey tasting
experience, make it our theme.
179
00:06:37,252 --> 00:06:39,321
I strongly advise against this.
180
00:06:39,387 --> 00:06:40,956
You're gonna run a
speakeasy in the house
181
00:06:41,023 --> 00:06:42,490
while that woman is
performing inspections?
182
00:06:42,557 --> 00:06:43,557
This is crazy.
183
00:06:43,558 --> 00:06:46,127
Yes, Pete, apparently we are.
184
00:06:46,194 --> 00:06:48,264
Ooh, all right, Sam!
You won't regret it.
185
00:06:48,329 --> 00:06:50,331
Yeah, unless they get fined, arrested,
186
00:06:50,399 --> 00:06:51,600
or put out of business.
187
00:06:51,667 --> 00:06:55,471
Either way, it's gonna be a wild night.
188
00:07:01,476 --> 00:07:05,014
- What's going on?
- It's 1928, and Johnny Law is hot on our tails.
189
00:07:05,081 --> 00:07:06,882
Oh, is this like a speakeasy thing?
190
00:07:06,949 --> 00:07:10,286
Yes, exactly. And as long as you
know the password... um, uh...
191
00:07:11,319 --> 00:07:12,521
Arrow... nerd.
192
00:07:12,588 --> 00:07:14,656
Pretty sure Arrow would have sufficed.
193
00:07:14,723 --> 00:07:15,757
Then you can come on in.
194
00:07:15,824 --> 00:07:17,759
- Arrow nerd.
- You're in.
195
00:07:17,826 --> 00:07:19,161
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
196
00:07:20,463 --> 00:07:22,630
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
197
00:07:27,336 --> 00:07:30,839
So, uh, how long do you
think this is going to take?
198
00:07:30,906 --> 00:07:33,242
Well, I need to check the common spaces,
199
00:07:33,308 --> 00:07:35,845
make sure there are an
appropriate number of egresses,
200
00:07:35,911 --> 00:07:38,781
look at the general sanitary conditions,
201
00:07:38,848 --> 00:07:41,649
ensure there's no pest
feces or active infestations.
202
00:07:41,716 --> 00:07:43,786
Cool. So, like, ten or 15 minutes?
203
00:07:43,853 --> 00:07:45,788
This is going to take
several hours, sir.
204
00:07:45,855 --> 00:07:48,957
Ooh, the Paper Mate 98 ball pen?
205
00:07:49,024 --> 00:07:51,127
Oh, this gal means business.
206
00:07:51,192 --> 00:07:54,596
That baby glides. Ooh. Yeah.
207
00:07:54,663 --> 00:07:56,598
You've all been chosen as members
208
00:07:56,665 --> 00:08:01,437
of the inaugural class of the
very exclusive ghost fraternity.
209
00:08:01,504 --> 00:08:03,105
What makes it exclusive?
210
00:08:03,172 --> 00:08:04,839
Pete and Alberta aren't in it.
211
00:08:04,906 --> 00:08:06,709
Didn't they choose not to be in it?
212
00:08:06,774 --> 00:08:08,944
Be that as it may, they're out.
213
00:08:09,011 --> 00:08:11,747
Now, you may be
wondering, what is a frat?
214
00:08:11,814 --> 00:08:14,216
And the answer is an
organization that promotes
215
00:08:14,283 --> 00:08:15,550
high-minded conversations
216
00:08:15,617 --> 00:08:17,485
- about philosophy, poetry and ethics.
- What?
217
00:08:17,552 --> 00:08:19,654
No, it's not that at all.
218
00:08:19,721 --> 00:08:22,190
It's about binge drinking, taking drugs,
219
00:08:22,257 --> 00:08:24,425
and doing one day of
charity every three years.
220
00:08:24,492 --> 00:08:25,961
But, Trevor, we're ghosts.
221
00:08:26,028 --> 00:08:27,862
We can't do any of those things.
222
00:08:27,930 --> 00:08:30,132
Okay, fine, but we
don't have to be lame.
223
00:08:30,199 --> 00:08:33,269
We can do fun stuff,
like jumping off the roof.
224
00:08:33,335 --> 00:08:35,270
Yes!
225
00:08:35,336 --> 00:08:36,772
Like ättestupa.
226
00:08:36,838 --> 00:08:39,240
In Viking society, when old people
227
00:08:39,307 --> 00:08:41,309
no longer able to support themselves,
228
00:08:41,376 --> 00:08:42,878
we throw them off cliff.
229
00:08:43,645 --> 00:08:44,913
Is very fun.
230
00:08:44,980 --> 00:08:46,815
Just every story, man,
231
00:08:46,881 --> 00:08:48,650
- it just keeps getting darker.
- Yeah.
232
00:08:48,716 --> 00:08:52,053
Wouldn't everyone prefer
to plumb the depths
233
00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,322
of human knowledge and
learn timeless lessons
234
00:08:54,389 --> 00:08:57,826
about morality, like we
did in the Freemasons?
235
00:08:57,893 --> 00:08:59,794
Look, guys, I think we
have different visions
236
00:08:59,861 --> 00:09:01,363
of this thing, which is fine.
237
00:09:01,429 --> 00:09:03,164
Doesn't mean that one's
better than the other.
238
00:09:03,231 --> 00:09:05,868
Just means that you
should start your own frat.
239
00:09:05,934 --> 00:09:08,571
And I'll do the cool one.
240
00:09:08,636 --> 00:09:10,773
So...
241
00:09:10,839 --> 00:09:12,106
how's it going down here?
242
00:09:12,173 --> 00:09:14,076
A completely immersive experience
243
00:09:14,143 --> 00:09:16,044
to go along with the tasting. Well done.
244
00:09:16,110 --> 00:09:18,047
And the fake corpse...
That's a nice touch.
245
00:09:18,113 --> 00:09:20,783
Look, I can make him pick his nose.
246
00:09:21,583 --> 00:09:24,253
- That's great, Blane.
- Oh, they're being so loud.
247
00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:26,922
The inspector's going to
hear. This is so nerve-racking.
248
00:09:26,989 --> 00:09:29,024
Pete, this is living!
249
00:09:29,091 --> 00:09:31,259
Didn't you ever color outside the lines?
250
00:09:31,326 --> 00:09:32,927
Well, one time I was late for a movie,
251
00:09:32,995 --> 00:09:34,797
so I parked in a loading zone.
252
00:09:34,863 --> 00:09:36,831
It was a Sunday, so it
was probably allowed,
253
00:09:36,899 --> 00:09:39,033
but, man, it ruined Gremlins for me.
254
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:41,302
We lived very different
lives, Pete Martino.
255
00:09:41,370 --> 00:09:44,673
Thor-Finn, Thor-Finn, Thor-Finn!
256
00:09:44,740 --> 00:09:46,008
Jump, Thor!
257
00:09:46,075 --> 00:09:48,210
Now that Thor up here, it, uh...
258
00:09:48,277 --> 00:09:49,577
seems pretty high.
259
00:09:49,644 --> 00:09:53,282
Starting to feel bad for old
people we throw off cliff.
260
00:09:53,349 --> 00:09:56,085
You're a ghost. You'll be fine.
261
00:09:56,150 --> 00:09:57,686
Oh.
262
00:09:58,453 --> 00:10:00,655
Is this stove properly ventilated?
263
00:10:00,722 --> 00:10:02,725
Yes, I would assume it is.
264
00:10:02,791 --> 00:10:04,793
Well, you'd be surprised.
265
00:10:04,860 --> 00:10:06,794
A lot of these older
homes have renovations
266
00:10:06,861 --> 00:10:08,764
that were done without
proper permitting.
267
00:10:08,831 --> 00:10:10,633
Oh, my God!
268
00:10:10,698 --> 00:10:13,402
Improper permitting, you say?
269
00:10:13,469 --> 00:10:15,903
Yes, it's a real problem.
270
00:10:17,806 --> 00:10:20,375
- Thor rules!
- Oh, my God!
271
00:10:20,442 --> 00:10:23,245
Best fraternity ever! Yes!
272
00:10:24,913 --> 00:10:26,981
I'll be right back.
273
00:10:28,049 --> 00:10:30,085
- Arrow nerd.
- Excuse me?
274
00:10:30,152 --> 00:10:32,587
Our buddy texted us
about a speakeasy here.
275
00:10:32,654 --> 00:10:34,623
Oh, yeah, that's not
actually happening anymore.
276
00:10:34,690 --> 00:10:36,125
But he just texted us.
277
00:10:36,191 --> 00:10:38,726
- Hey, yo, Blane!
- Okay, okay.
278
00:10:38,793 --> 00:10:39,861
It was a test.
279
00:10:39,927 --> 00:10:41,196
And you passed,
280
00:10:41,263 --> 00:10:43,131
so shut up, follow me, quietly.
281
00:10:51,974 --> 00:10:53,975
"Any moment might be our last,
282
00:10:54,043 --> 00:10:56,245
everything is more beautiful
because we are doomed."
283
00:10:56,312 --> 00:10:58,179
Anyone know from where those words come?
284
00:10:58,246 --> 00:11:00,448
- My worst nightmare?
- No.
285
00:11:00,515 --> 00:11:02,918
It's The Iliad!
286
00:11:02,985 --> 00:11:05,287
This is the point of a
fraternal organization.
287
00:11:05,354 --> 00:11:07,722
The Freemasons sought
to build moral character
288
00:11:07,789 --> 00:11:09,390
through study of the classics.
289
00:11:09,457 --> 00:11:11,493
"The classics."
290
00:11:11,559 --> 00:11:15,163
Hey, what's going on
lame-da, lame-da, lame-da?
291
00:11:15,230 --> 00:11:17,966
- We're going to party in vault!
- You guys should come.
292
00:11:18,033 --> 00:11:20,101
No, rest assured, we're
quite fine in here.
293
00:11:20,168 --> 00:11:21,503
Suit yourself.
294
00:11:21,570 --> 00:11:23,938
Lame-da!
295
00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:28,876
Okay, where were we? Ah, yes.
296
00:11:28,943 --> 00:11:30,245
Throwing a party of our own.
297
00:11:30,312 --> 00:11:32,114
- I can't do this, man.
- What?
298
00:11:32,181 --> 00:11:34,015
Look, I joined your
frat 'cause I hate siding
299
00:11:34,082 --> 00:11:36,552
with Trevor on basically
anything, but...
300
00:11:36,618 --> 00:11:38,354
I just gotta get out of here.
301
00:11:42,457 --> 00:11:44,025
Well, it's just you and me, then.
302
00:11:44,092 --> 00:11:46,861
That was so rude of Sasappis
303
00:11:46,928 --> 00:11:48,364
just to leave us here like that.
304
00:11:48,429 --> 00:11:51,200
I think I should go give
him a piece of my mind.
305
00:11:51,265 --> 00:11:53,601
- You just want to go to the party, don't you?
- Desperately.
306
00:11:53,668 --> 00:11:56,071
Thank you for understanding. Oh!
307
00:11:58,106 --> 00:12:00,576
HVU!
308
00:12:00,642 --> 00:12:02,945
- Go, Turtles!
- Man, these guys can drink.
309
00:12:03,010 --> 00:12:04,947
I had two light beers
in college one night.
310
00:12:05,013 --> 00:12:07,282
Woke up in a trash
heap in northern Nevada.
311
00:12:07,349 --> 00:12:08,783
Ooh!
312
00:12:09,585 --> 00:12:12,754
Oh, well, well, well. Look
what the cat dragged in.
313
00:12:12,821 --> 00:12:14,623
Yes, fine. We got bored. You win.
314
00:12:14,690 --> 00:12:17,125
Go ahead, do that weird
gesture with your hands
315
00:12:17,192 --> 00:12:20,294
- where you make a little "T."
- T-Money! Yeah, that one?
316
00:12:20,361 --> 00:12:22,096
- Ugh.
- Ugh. Good. Get it out of your system.
317
00:12:22,163 --> 00:12:24,066
Wait. Where's Isaac?
318
00:12:24,133 --> 00:12:26,134
Oh, uh, he's, uh, still
at the frat meeting.
319
00:12:26,201 --> 00:12:28,537
You left him at the meeting alone?
320
00:12:28,604 --> 00:12:31,539
- Yes, and we feel awful about it.
- Mm-hmm.
321
00:12:31,606 --> 00:12:33,241
Tiny hot dogs.
322
00:12:33,307 --> 00:12:35,510
Oh, they smell just as
good as the big boys.
323
00:12:37,245 --> 00:12:39,248
- Hey.
- Hi.
324
00:12:39,313 --> 00:12:40,716
So how's it going up there?
325
00:12:40,783 --> 00:12:42,850
Slow. That lady is thorough.
326
00:12:42,918 --> 00:12:44,352
How's Sippr guy enjoying himself?
327
00:12:44,419 --> 00:12:46,187
He thinks that the high-end whiskey
328
00:12:46,254 --> 00:12:48,657
that we're serving him isn't "special."
329
00:12:48,724 --> 00:12:50,359
Uh, Sam, if I may,
330
00:12:50,426 --> 00:12:52,059
I know where you can get a whiskey
331
00:12:52,126 --> 00:12:54,163
that will knock this man's socks off.
332
00:12:55,062 --> 00:12:56,697
- Am I holding for ghosts?
- Yup.
333
00:12:56,764 --> 00:12:58,634
My bootlegger boyfriend
stored booze upstairs
334
00:12:58,700 --> 00:13:01,369
- the night I performed.
- Do you think it's still there?
335
00:13:01,436 --> 00:13:03,205
Oh, I know it is. I'll
take you right to it.
336
00:13:03,272 --> 00:13:05,908
Okay. Hey, uh, Elliot.
337
00:13:06,707 --> 00:13:09,577
Uh, how would you like to
try Prohibition-era whiskey
338
00:13:09,644 --> 00:13:12,980
stashed on this property
100 years ago by bootleggers?
339
00:13:13,048 --> 00:13:14,482
I would like to try that very much.
340
00:13:14,549 --> 00:13:16,552
Great. Wait here and
we'll be right back.
341
00:13:16,618 --> 00:13:19,354
Uh, there is just one little problem.
342
00:13:19,421 --> 00:13:22,191
- It's in the wall.
- Seriously?
343
00:13:22,256 --> 00:13:23,458
Damn it.
344
00:13:29,264 --> 00:13:31,365
Jay, Alberta said the
whiskey is still in the wall.
345
00:13:31,432 --> 00:13:33,034
Mm-hmm.
346
00:13:33,100 --> 00:13:34,536
Yep, it's still there.
347
00:13:34,602 --> 00:13:36,304
Oh, my precious booze.
348
00:13:36,370 --> 00:13:37,773
And also a possum skeleton.
349
00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:40,107
He died years before you guys moved in.
350
00:13:40,174 --> 00:13:41,743
Cute little guy. You know, pre-rotting.
351
00:13:41,809 --> 00:13:44,312
All right, I'm all
done with my inspection.
352
00:13:44,379 --> 00:13:46,114
- Everything looks good.
- Oh!
353
00:13:46,181 --> 00:13:47,682
Great. So you're leaving?
354
00:13:47,749 --> 00:13:50,885
Yup, just as soon as I fill
out the requisite paperwork.
355
00:13:50,952 --> 00:13:52,788
Okay if I set up shop in the kitchen?
356
00:13:52,855 --> 00:13:56,124
Uh... Why don't you use the library?
357
00:13:56,191 --> 00:13:59,595
- It's more comfortable.
- Or the upstairs den.
358
00:13:59,661 --> 00:14:01,462
Very end of the hall. Quiet.
359
00:14:01,529 --> 00:14:04,131
No, the kitchen's fine.
360
00:14:05,667 --> 00:14:07,336
This is insane.
361
00:14:07,402 --> 00:14:09,504
There's no way we can
break a hole in this wall
362
00:14:09,571 --> 00:14:11,506
without Sherry hearing us.
363
00:14:11,572 --> 00:14:13,140
Okay, I have an idea.
364
00:14:13,207 --> 00:14:14,942
We Shawshank it.
365
00:14:16,177 --> 00:14:18,813
Shawshank Redemption. The movie.
366
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:21,216
- I still haven't seen it.
- Seriously?
367
00:14:21,283 --> 00:14:23,150
- Sam, it's on, like, four times a day.
- Okay.
368
00:14:23,217 --> 00:14:25,187
In that movie, the
main guy, Andy Dufresne,
369
00:14:25,254 --> 00:14:27,054
he escapes from prison by
crawling through a pipe,
370
00:14:27,121 --> 00:14:28,923
and what he does is
he waits for a storm,
371
00:14:28,990 --> 00:14:30,926
and then he uses the cracks
of thunder to cover up
372
00:14:30,993 --> 00:14:33,294
when he hits the pipe with a rock.
373
00:14:33,361 --> 00:14:35,831
So you're saying we
should wait for a storm?
374
00:14:35,898 --> 00:14:41,003
No, babe, I'm saying
we make our own storm.
375
00:14:42,971 --> 00:14:45,173
Is anyone else turned on right now?
376
00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:46,508
A little.
377
00:14:48,110 --> 00:14:50,611
This woman is a machine! Working in pen,
378
00:14:50,678 --> 00:14:52,681
no cross-outs, really focused.
379
00:14:52,748 --> 00:14:54,383
Oh, Jay looks like he's gearing up, Sam.
380
00:14:54,448 --> 00:14:55,984
Oh, don't mind me.
381
00:14:56,051 --> 00:14:58,086
I'm just gonna tenderize a little meat.
382
00:14:58,153 --> 00:14:59,520
No problem.
383
00:15:00,187 --> 00:15:01,690
And now!
384
00:15:03,591 --> 00:15:04,793
And now!
385
00:15:08,029 --> 00:15:09,530
And now!
386
00:15:11,832 --> 00:15:15,537
Oh, that's a beefy rib-eye.
387
00:15:16,572 --> 00:15:18,639
Oh, my God.
388
00:15:20,341 --> 00:15:22,844
Ooh-whee! Yes.
389
00:15:22,911 --> 00:15:25,313
That's some sweet Kentucky bath water.
390
00:15:25,379 --> 00:15:28,082
Mm, and one nasty-ass possum.
391
00:15:32,486 --> 00:15:34,923
Hey, I've been looking for you, bud.
392
00:15:34,990 --> 00:15:36,825
I suppose you've come to gloat
393
00:15:36,892 --> 00:15:38,826
about your fraternity vanquishing mine.
394
00:15:38,894 --> 00:15:41,596
No, I came to invite you downstairs.
395
00:15:41,663 --> 00:15:43,532
It may not be a Masonic lodge,
396
00:15:43,599 --> 00:15:45,567
but speakeasy's pretty cool.
397
00:15:45,634 --> 00:15:47,201
And we missed you.
398
00:15:48,036 --> 00:15:50,205
Well, the truth is, I wouldn't even know
399
00:15:50,272 --> 00:15:52,874
what the inside of a
Masonic lodge looked like.
400
00:15:52,941 --> 00:15:54,610
What are you talking about?
401
00:15:54,676 --> 00:15:56,311
Was it all freaky blindfolded stuff?
402
00:15:56,378 --> 00:15:58,113
No, Trevor.
403
00:15:58,179 --> 00:16:03,150
Despite my claims, I never
actually was a Freemason.
404
00:16:05,153 --> 00:16:07,355
Wow!
405
00:16:07,422 --> 00:16:11,125
I had heard the rumors,
but that is a big carriage.
406
00:16:11,192 --> 00:16:13,861
Well, it doesn't get the
best miles per bale of hay,
407
00:16:13,928 --> 00:16:15,297
but, uh, she sure is roomy.
408
00:16:15,364 --> 00:16:16,631
Indeed. Indeed.
409
00:16:16,697 --> 00:16:19,067
And a good thing too, Higgintoot,
410
00:16:19,134 --> 00:16:21,168
because I've invited you here today
411
00:16:21,235 --> 00:16:23,471
because I would like you
412
00:16:23,538 --> 00:16:27,142
to take a large oak
desk to John Jay's house.
413
00:16:28,844 --> 00:16:30,578
You mean... You mean after the meeting?
414
00:16:30,645 --> 00:16:32,279
After the...
415
00:16:32,346 --> 00:16:34,515
Oh, dear.
416
00:16:34,582 --> 00:16:36,384
You thought I was inviting you
417
00:16:36,451 --> 00:16:38,552
to the Freemasons meeting.
418
00:16:38,620 --> 00:16:42,289
- Oh...
- I mean, I... I mean, no.
419
00:16:42,356 --> 00:16:45,092
Look, after John Jay's,
why don't you come back?
420
00:16:45,159 --> 00:16:46,461
Really?
421
00:16:46,528 --> 00:16:50,065
Oh, darn it! I've done
it again, haven't I?
422
00:16:50,131 --> 00:16:52,768
I simply meant in case
any of the Freemasons
423
00:16:52,834 --> 00:16:54,168
needed a ride home.
424
00:16:54,235 --> 00:16:56,171
I am sorry.
425
00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:02,244
So, when I got the chance
to start my own fraternity,
426
00:17:02,309 --> 00:17:04,413
I decided to turn it
into the Freemasons,
427
00:17:04,479 --> 00:17:05,814
so I could finally belong.
428
00:17:05,881 --> 00:17:08,849
But here I am, rejected once again.
429
00:17:08,916 --> 00:17:10,852
They didn't reject you today.
430
00:17:10,919 --> 00:17:12,153
They rejected being in the Freemasons,
431
00:17:12,220 --> 00:17:13,755
Which makes sense, 'cause it seems
432
00:17:13,821 --> 00:17:15,257
like the Freemasons kind of sucked.
433
00:17:15,323 --> 00:17:17,226
And Ben Franklin... I hate to say this,
434
00:17:17,292 --> 00:17:19,094
as a Penn guy... sounds like a dick.
435
00:17:19,161 --> 00:17:21,663
He was a bit full of himself.
436
00:17:21,730 --> 00:17:23,832
Although, he did discover electricity.
437
00:17:23,898 --> 00:17:26,101
Like they weren't gonna find that.
438
00:17:26,167 --> 00:17:28,703
Look, I didn't get into
my first choice frat,
439
00:17:28,769 --> 00:17:30,071
but the guys I ended up with
440
00:17:30,137 --> 00:17:31,673
turned out to be my best friends.
441
00:17:31,740 --> 00:17:34,342
Didn't one of them dump
your dead body into a lake?
442
00:17:34,409 --> 00:17:38,279
The point is, you may
not have chosen us ghosts,
443
00:17:38,346 --> 00:17:39,948
but you're here now,
444
00:17:40,015 --> 00:17:41,750
and we're lucky to have you.
445
00:17:42,917 --> 00:17:44,086
Thank you, Trevor.
446
00:17:44,152 --> 00:17:46,087
You know, there's a statue
447
00:17:46,153 --> 00:17:47,989
of Ben Franklin on campus at Penn,
448
00:17:48,056 --> 00:17:49,324
him sitting on a bench.
449
00:17:49,391 --> 00:17:50,659
Ugh, of course there is.
450
00:17:50,726 --> 00:17:52,560
Why are you telling me this?
451
00:17:52,626 --> 00:17:53,828
Because every weekend,
452
00:17:53,894 --> 00:17:55,763
kids get drunk and pee all over it.
453
00:17:55,830 --> 00:17:57,531
Oh.
454
00:17:57,679 --> 00:17:59,948
Oh, Trevor...
455
00:18:01,048 --> 00:18:03,117
What a gift you've given me.
456
00:18:03,184 --> 00:18:06,054
So, what do you think?
457
00:18:06,121 --> 00:18:08,690
I have never had anything like it.
458
00:18:08,757 --> 00:18:10,791
I feel like I've been training
my whole life for this.
459
00:18:10,858 --> 00:18:12,227
Cheers.
460
00:18:14,162 --> 00:18:15,497
Little tip, Sam.
461
00:18:15,564 --> 00:18:17,398
You and Jay wait 20
minutes before drinking it,
462
00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:19,233
see if any of these folks go blind.
463
00:18:20,602 --> 00:18:23,204
I can't believe it.
We pass our inspection,
464
00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:25,073
we nail the whiskey tasting.
465
00:18:25,140 --> 00:18:26,340
Are we great business people?
466
00:18:26,407 --> 00:18:29,009
We might be.
467
00:18:29,076 --> 00:18:32,346
Oh, what a night. That was fun.
468
00:18:32,413 --> 00:18:34,148
I gotta admit, I was nervous at first,
469
00:18:34,215 --> 00:18:36,116
but then I started to,
you know, get into it.
470
00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:38,619
Ooh, see? Being bad feels pretty good.
471
00:18:38,686 --> 00:18:40,087
- Doesn't it?
- It was exciting.
472
00:18:40,154 --> 00:18:42,356
That's why you gotta take
risks every now and then.
473
00:18:42,423 --> 00:18:45,192
Yeah, you're right.
You're totally right.
474
00:18:45,259 --> 00:18:47,561
Pete, you spent your
whole life being afraid.
475
00:18:47,628 --> 00:18:50,498
Don't make that same
mistake in your afterlife.
476
00:18:50,565 --> 00:18:52,601
Just go for it.
477
00:18:52,666 --> 00:18:54,169
Okay.
478
00:18:55,403 --> 00:18:57,005
Whoa!
479
00:18:58,038 --> 00:19:01,710
Okay. You're gonna see this as a defeat,
480
00:19:01,776 --> 00:19:04,378
but this is a proud moment for you,
481
00:19:04,445 --> 00:19:06,847
and I want you to acknowledge that.
482
00:19:06,914 --> 00:19:08,450
Okay, I feel... I feel proud.
483
00:19:08,516 --> 00:19:10,251
Good.
484
00:19:15,423 --> 00:19:21,096
Hey, to the ghost frat and its
founding member, Isaac Higgintoot.
485
00:19:21,162 --> 00:19:22,931
Huzzah!
486
00:19:22,998 --> 00:19:24,499
Yeah!
487
00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:29,537
What an event. I mean,
hats off to you both.
488
00:19:29,604 --> 00:19:32,273
Someone is gonna get a
very nice review in Sippr.
489
00:19:32,339 --> 00:19:34,041
That's great. Uh, thank you.
490
00:19:34,108 --> 00:19:37,144
I mean, I really don't understand
your business model at all.
491
00:19:37,211 --> 00:19:38,846
Just giving away $5,000
bottles of vintage whiskey,
492
00:19:38,913 --> 00:19:40,915
but I am not complaining.
493
00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:45,921
Did he say $5,000?
494
00:19:47,355 --> 00:19:50,592
Yeah!
495
00:19:50,659 --> 00:19:54,061
Are we bad business people?
496
00:19:54,128 --> 00:19:56,064
We might be.
497
00:20:00,809 --> 00:20:01,809
You know, I think it's smart
498
00:20:01,810 --> 00:20:03,060
you're saving a little
money doing this yourselves.
499
00:20:03,068 --> 00:20:06,849
Totally. Now we're only 30 grand
down from the whole whiskey thing.
500
00:20:08,138 --> 00:20:09,894
Hey, wait a minute.
501
00:20:09,894 --> 00:20:11,096
What is this?
502
00:20:11,163 --> 00:20:12,230
It's a letter.
503
00:20:12,297 --> 00:20:14,298
Does possum have pen pal?
504
00:20:14,365 --> 00:20:15,701
Open it up, Sam.
505
00:20:16,535 --> 00:20:17,669
"My dearest Earl... "
506
00:20:17,736 --> 00:20:19,938
That was my bootlegger boyfriend.
507
00:20:20,005 --> 00:20:22,406
The letter must have
fallen out of the crate.
508
00:20:22,473 --> 00:20:24,375
"I can't wait for us to be together
509
00:20:24,442 --> 00:20:26,044
once we get rid of you-know-who."
510
00:20:26,111 --> 00:20:27,645
Signed, T.
511
00:20:27,712 --> 00:20:28,880
"Get rid of... ?"
512
00:20:28,946 --> 00:20:30,615
Sam. This might have something to do
513
00:20:30,682 --> 00:20:33,785
- with Alberta's murder.
- Did Earl knock me off?
514
00:20:33,852 --> 00:20:36,855
Or maybe it was T.
But who the hell is T?
515
00:20:36,922 --> 00:20:40,291
Samantha, fire up that podcast machine.
516
00:20:40,357 --> 00:20:42,894
We've got two new suspects.
517
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:49,000
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
37965
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