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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,737 [dramatic music] 2 00:00:03,737 --> 00:00:08,274 - ♪ MTV ♪ 3 00:00:08,274 --> 00:00:11,244 [Katy Perry's "Cozy Little Christmas"] 4 00:00:11,244 --> 00:00:14,280 [car horn honks] - ♪ Everybody's in a hurry ♪ 5 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:16,783 - Ah, Christmas. 6 00:00:16,783 --> 00:00:18,251 - ♪ Shopping till they're droppin' in the snow ♪ 7 00:00:18,251 --> 00:00:21,554 - The most magical time of the year. 8 00:00:21,554 --> 00:00:22,889 - ♪ Kids are cryin', dogs are barkin' ♪ 9 00:00:22,889 --> 00:00:25,525 - A truly wondrous time, 10 00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:30,029 a time when all our wishes come true 11 00:00:30,029 --> 00:00:32,766 in fairy-tale land. 12 00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:34,167 [dramatic music] 13 00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:35,602 But this isn't a fairy tale, 14 00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:37,537 and Christmas is a horseshit holiday 15 00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:39,472 that makes us all feel like crap 16 00:00:39,472 --> 00:00:42,208 and reminds us of what's wrong in our lives. 17 00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:43,176 [car honks] [tires screech] 18 00:00:43,176 --> 00:00:44,277 [metallic crunch] 19 00:00:44,277 --> 00:00:45,845 That's why I'm here. 20 00:00:45,845 --> 00:00:47,747 Welcome back, KLDA listeners. 21 00:00:47,747 --> 00:00:52,118 I'm Emily Harris and you're listening to "Ask Emily." 22 00:00:52,118 --> 00:00:53,953 Oh, it looks like we have time 23 00:00:53,953 --> 00:00:57,724 for one more sad Christmas caller who needs my help. 24 00:00:57,724 --> 00:01:00,427 Hi, you're on the line with Emily. 25 00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:02,896 What's your name, and what's your problem? 26 00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,531 - Uh, hi. 27 00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:07,200 My name is Greg and I have sort of an awkward question. 28 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:08,568 - Awkward. 29 00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:11,037 Mm, that's my specialty. Lay it on me. 30 00:01:11,037 --> 00:01:13,106 - My girlfriend's parents have been calling me Craig 31 00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:15,175 for two years, but it's Greg. 32 00:01:15,175 --> 00:01:17,577 Do I correct them? - Yes, you correct them! 33 00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:20,413 Also, real quick, if the holidays isn't the time 34 00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:21,881 to get a little passive-aggressive, 35 00:01:21,881 --> 00:01:23,983 then I don't know when is. 36 00:01:23,983 --> 00:01:26,052 Greg, here's what you're gonna do. 37 00:01:26,052 --> 00:01:27,487 You're going to go out and get yourself 38 00:01:27,487 --> 00:01:30,757 a custom Christmas sweater with your actual name, 39 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:33,393 Greg, front and center. 40 00:01:33,393 --> 00:01:35,094 - Oh, my God, that's genius. 41 00:01:35,094 --> 00:01:36,529 Can I write, 42 00:01:36,529 --> 00:01:37,864 "No one likes your fruitcake" on the back? 43 00:01:37,864 --> 00:01:39,999 - Fruitcake? You talking about fraudcake? 44 00:01:39,999 --> 00:01:42,902 Yeah, you write that too, on the back in lights-- 45 00:01:42,902 --> 00:01:44,304 - Out of my chair, Harris. 46 00:01:44,304 --> 00:01:46,105 - Uh--one, test, test. - Who's this? 47 00:01:46,105 --> 00:01:48,141 - Uh, that's the new intern, 48 00:01:48,141 --> 00:01:49,676 and we're just testing the audio. 49 00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:50,944 It sounds great. - Yeah, whatever. 50 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,312 Listen. 51 00:01:52,312 --> 00:01:54,080 Queue up that new music I sent you this morning. 52 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:55,381 It totally sings. 53 00:01:55,381 --> 00:01:57,383 - Yeah, you got it. You're on in two. 54 00:01:57,383 --> 00:01:59,118 - [clears throat] 55 00:01:59,118 --> 00:02:00,520 - ♪ It's a celebration ♪ 56 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:04,023 - What's up, what's up, what's up, New York City? 57 00:02:04,023 --> 00:02:06,092 You're listening to KLDA 93.3, 58 00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:09,062 your choice for music, news, celeb gossip, and me, 59 00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:12,065 Ken "Spicy Ay-yi-yi" Spicer! 60 00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:13,800 Now we're going to go straight to the phone lines 61 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,336 for your favorite Christmas tradition, "Dear Santa." 62 00:02:16,336 --> 00:02:18,204 I mean, it's my last week. [chuckles] 63 00:02:18,204 --> 00:02:20,206 Okay? I can do what I want. 64 00:02:20,206 --> 00:02:23,309 - Ugh, only four more days of this song. 65 00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:24,944 [festive hip-hop music] 66 00:02:24,944 --> 00:02:27,480 - Well, there'll be no avoiding tonight, 67 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,883 because tonight's the big night. 68 00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:31,284 - Yeah. 69 00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:33,386 - Em, you know Ken is deciding tonight 70 00:02:33,386 --> 00:02:35,488 on who's taking over his slot, okay? 71 00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:36,990 You got to strap on your boss pants 72 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:39,726 and pitch him "Ask Emily" tonight at the Christmas party. 73 00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:40,693 - Mm-hmm. - Right? 74 00:02:40,693 --> 00:02:41,895 He's never gonna know that you 75 00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:42,862 want to be a DJ unless you tell him. 76 00:02:42,862 --> 00:02:44,063 - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 77 00:02:44,063 --> 00:02:46,466 - Okay. So what's your plan? 78 00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:48,501 - Oh, I was hoping you would ask. 79 00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:51,604 So my plan is to keep all my wishes to myself, 80 00:02:51,604 --> 00:02:54,307 so I'm never embarrassed or disappointed. 81 00:02:54,307 --> 00:02:55,575 - See you tonight, coward. 82 00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:56,976 And don't forget to wear your sparkly dress. 83 00:02:56,976 --> 00:02:59,479 - I would never forget to wear my sparkly dress. 84 00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:02,448 [upbeat music] 85 00:03:02,448 --> 00:03:08,788 ♪ ♪ 86 00:03:08,788 --> 00:03:11,791 [phone ringing] 87 00:03:11,791 --> 00:03:15,061 ♪ ♪ 88 00:03:15,061 --> 00:03:17,063 No. 89 00:03:17,063 --> 00:03:21,501 ♪ ♪ 90 00:03:21,501 --> 00:03:24,404 [Mykola Leontovych's "Carol of the Bells"] 91 00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:27,373 [choir vocalizing] 92 00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:34,514 ♪ ♪ 93 00:03:42,255 --> 00:03:44,791 - [clears throat] 94 00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:49,195 You gave the kid a LEGO Tokyo Skyline. 95 00:03:49,195 --> 00:03:50,496 - Uh, yeah. 96 00:03:50,496 --> 00:03:52,065 - He asked for a scooter! 97 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:55,034 - Okay, I did that kid a favor, all right? 98 00:03:55,034 --> 00:03:57,570 And if he had any taste, he would know that. 99 00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:59,172 - Do you know how many complaint letters 100 00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:01,007 we've gotten about you? 101 00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:03,843 You know how the big man feels about being selfish. 102 00:04:03,843 --> 00:04:07,647 He is not happy, so here's what we're gonna do. 103 00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:09,482 We are assigning you to the Lost Souls Department. 104 00:04:09,482 --> 00:04:11,484 - No! Lost Souls? 105 00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:13,519 Nah, nah, nah, I'm not good with talking with people. 106 00:04:13,519 --> 00:04:14,887 - Mm, you don't say. 107 00:04:14,887 --> 00:04:16,389 - No, I don't like people like that, okay? 108 00:04:16,389 --> 00:04:17,490 - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. - I can't--I can't do it. 109 00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:19,025 - So here's what you're gonna do. 110 00:04:19,025 --> 00:04:20,960 You are going to work with, listen to, 111 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,129 and actually help your assigned human, 112 00:04:23,129 --> 00:04:25,732 and learn not to be so selfish. 113 00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:29,035 Or you are getting reassigned to work for... 114 00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:31,671 ♪ ♪ 115 00:04:31,671 --> 00:04:34,841 The Tooth Fairy. [all gasp] 116 00:04:36,242 --> 00:04:38,211 ♪ ♪ 117 00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:43,516 - ♪ I want to be beautiful ♪ 118 00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:45,318 ♪ Want to be beautiful ♪ 119 00:04:45,318 --> 00:04:46,953 - Okay, okay! 120 00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:49,756 - ♪ I want to be so much more ♪ 121 00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:53,426 - [sighs] Not bad, Harris. 122 00:04:53,426 --> 00:04:55,461 Boris! 123 00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:57,130 You think all the boys at the Christmas party 124 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,032 is gonna like my outfit? 125 00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:01,034 [cat meows] 126 00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:02,769 - Well, KLDA listeners, 127 00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:05,238 looks like we're gonna need a little liquid courage 128 00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:07,940 to do anything cool tonight! 129 00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:10,810 [Arin Maya's "I Want To Be Beautiful"] 130 00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,446 A little more eggnog for your girl. 131 00:05:13,446 --> 00:05:16,082 ♪ ♪ 132 00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:18,051 Wow. Completely out. 133 00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:19,786 It's not even worth drinking that. 134 00:05:19,786 --> 00:05:21,220 [sighs] Okay, fine. 135 00:05:21,220 --> 00:05:24,057 Adult booze it is. 136 00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:26,025 You're grown anyway, girl. 137 00:05:26,025 --> 00:05:27,927 Get you a little. 138 00:05:29,862 --> 00:05:32,365 Mm, mm, mm. 139 00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:34,400 Ugh! There it goes. 140 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,636 There it is. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 141 00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:38,871 Okay. Cool Emily. 142 00:05:38,871 --> 00:05:40,973 Cool Emily is coming to the party. 143 00:05:40,973 --> 00:05:42,909 Okay, okay. 144 00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:45,278 You look him right in the eye with all of your confidence 145 00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:47,980 and you say--you say, um... 146 00:05:47,980 --> 00:05:49,282 [clears throat] 147 00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:51,484 Ken, baby. 148 00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:53,352 Listen up, okay? 149 00:05:53,352 --> 00:05:54,721 I want to take over for you 150 00:05:54,721 --> 00:05:58,458 with my groundbreaking advice show, "Ask Emily." 151 00:05:58,458 --> 00:06:00,626 The ratings are gonna spike so high, 152 00:06:00,626 --> 00:06:02,462 you'll think you're on cocaine again, 153 00:06:02,462 --> 00:06:04,263 but in a good way. 154 00:06:04,263 --> 00:06:06,199 Come on, baby, Ken! 155 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:09,702 You and I both know I'm too good to be producing 156 00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:11,337 somebody else's show. 157 00:06:11,337 --> 00:06:13,372 What do you say? 158 00:06:13,372 --> 00:06:14,741 The wink is what's gonna sell it. 159 00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:16,509 It's the--you're gonna get your show. 160 00:06:16,509 --> 00:06:17,777 You're gonna get your show, 161 00:06:17,777 --> 00:06:20,113 and Christmas is not gonna suck for once. 162 00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:21,214 Let's go! 163 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,582 [phone ringing] 164 00:06:22,582 --> 00:06:24,317 - Ugh, Mom. 165 00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:26,385 Why is she always calling me? 166 00:06:26,385 --> 00:06:29,122 [phone ringing] 167 00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:31,557 - It's finally happened! 168 00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:34,160 We're finalists for the annual Glen Ridge 169 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,629 Christmas Tree Decorating Contest! 170 00:06:36,629 --> 00:06:38,998 Linda's gonna eat my dust! 171 00:06:38,998 --> 00:06:41,067 I just need you to come for the party. 172 00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:43,336 - Oh, absolutely not. That's never gonna happen. 173 00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:45,037 Definitely working all day. 174 00:06:45,037 --> 00:06:46,539 - I won't take no for an answer. 175 00:06:46,539 --> 00:06:47,974 See you tomorrow. 176 00:06:47,974 --> 00:06:49,709 - No, you won't! 177 00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:51,944 - And don't bring that hideous silver thing 178 00:06:51,944 --> 00:06:54,614 that makes you look like a burrito. 179 00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:57,950 - ♪ Yeah, I want to be beautiful ♪ 180 00:06:57,950 --> 00:06:59,852 - Can't wait to put her in a home. 181 00:06:59,852 --> 00:07:02,321 - ♪ I want to be beautiful ♪ 182 00:07:02,321 --> 00:07:04,290 - ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 183 00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:05,558 - ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ - ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ 184 00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:06,826 ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ 185 00:07:06,826 --> 00:07:08,261 - Hey! 186 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,962 I thought we were both wearing our sparkly dresses. 187 00:07:09,962 --> 00:07:11,764 - I had a dry cleaning emergency. 188 00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:13,900 But, a little sparkle. 189 00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:16,035 There. Now we look exactly alike. 190 00:07:16,035 --> 00:07:18,538 - Exactly. - We're like Tia and Tamera. 191 00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:20,273 - Ladies! 192 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,074 Nice to see you. 193 00:07:22,074 --> 00:07:24,243 Shouldn't I be wearing that crown? 194 00:07:24,243 --> 00:07:25,878 - Why is that, Janice? 195 00:07:25,878 --> 00:07:29,749 Because you're the queen of kissing Ken's ass? 196 00:07:29,749 --> 00:07:32,952 - It's obvious Ken's gonna name me his replacement. 197 00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:35,855 - Okay, we all know how you got your job, Janice. 198 00:07:35,855 --> 00:07:38,724 You give your knee pads a rest tonight? 199 00:07:38,724 --> 00:07:41,861 - Oh, good one. 200 00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:46,732 You should know by now that I get everything I want, okay? 201 00:07:46,732 --> 00:07:48,401 Cute dress, though. 202 00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:50,403 I like the zipper. It's cute. 203 00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:52,471 - Ugh. 204 00:07:52,471 --> 00:07:53,806 No, I know, I know, I know. 205 00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,474 I'm gonna ask Ken. I will. 206 00:07:55,474 --> 00:07:57,109 I'm gonna ask him, but, like-- 207 00:07:57,109 --> 00:07:58,811 look, for now let's just concentrate on getting 208 00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:00,079 really drunk, really fast. 209 00:08:00,079 --> 00:08:01,380 - Yes, oh, yes. Right here. 210 00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:02,415 - Focus on that. - Hi. 211 00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:04,617 - Hey, hi. 212 00:08:04,617 --> 00:08:07,486 - Ah! - And to boobs. 213 00:08:07,486 --> 00:08:10,556 ♪ ♪ 214 00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:12,792 both: Ugh! 215 00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:14,660 - It's in the throat, you know what I mean? 216 00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:16,896 Just like, mm. 217 00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:17,830 - OMG. 218 00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:19,165 It's the hot IT guy. 219 00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:20,900 He's standing there at the buffet. 220 00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:22,468 Alone. 221 00:08:22,468 --> 00:08:23,603 - Hey! 222 00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:26,005 Not for long. Hold this. 223 00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:31,611 ♪ ♪ 224 00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:32,845 Hey. 225 00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:35,014 - Emily! Fun party. 226 00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:37,817 - Thank you, you look-- oh, you didn't say-- 227 00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:40,686 - What? - Nice sweater. 228 00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:42,588 - Thank you. - Yeah. 229 00:08:42,588 --> 00:08:46,058 I--uh-oh, mistletoe. 230 00:08:46,058 --> 00:08:47,326 - Hmm. 231 00:08:47,326 --> 00:08:50,663 - You know, maybe we should-- 232 00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:52,899 uh, do you--you don't have a cat, right? 233 00:08:52,899 --> 00:08:55,701 Because cats are allergic to mistletoe, so... 234 00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:58,804 Stay alert, stay alive. 235 00:08:58,804 --> 00:09:01,807 Bye! - Bye. 236 00:09:01,807 --> 00:09:08,948 ♪ ♪ 237 00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:14,086 [toilet flushing] 238 00:09:17,156 --> 00:09:19,792 - Come on, Emily, spit it out. Just say it. 239 00:09:19,792 --> 00:09:22,461 - You say something? 240 00:09:22,461 --> 00:09:24,096 - [laughs] 241 00:09:24,096 --> 00:09:26,999 Ken, I was, um-- 242 00:09:26,999 --> 00:09:29,969 It's just that I know that-- 243 00:09:29,969 --> 00:09:33,005 Ken, what I want you to-- 244 00:09:33,005 --> 00:09:35,875 I've had to pee all night, you know? 245 00:09:35,875 --> 00:09:38,311 - Good to know. 246 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:42,415 [upbeat music] 247 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:45,084 ♪ ♪ 248 00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:46,719 - Hey, what happened? - I don't know. 249 00:09:46,719 --> 00:09:48,054 I don't know what happened. 250 00:09:48,054 --> 00:09:50,990 I just--like, how do people do this? 251 00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:53,693 Like, I know I'm supposed to ask Ken for the on air job, 252 00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:55,094 and I choked. 253 00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:57,196 And I know I'm supposed to try to make out 254 00:09:57,196 --> 00:09:58,731 with the hottie under the mistletoe, 255 00:09:58,731 --> 00:10:00,299 and I choked at that too. 256 00:10:00,299 --> 00:10:02,034 And it just feels like all of my words get stuck 257 00:10:02,034 --> 00:10:04,837 in my throat, and I can't-- 258 00:10:04,837 --> 00:10:06,405 Like, what do you do-- how do you do-- 259 00:10:06,405 --> 00:10:08,007 how does anyone do any of this? 260 00:10:08,007 --> 00:10:09,976 I just feel like every single thing I do is so wrong. 261 00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:12,945 Hey, um, can I have a nogtini, please? 262 00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:15,648 - Sorry. That guy got the last of them. 263 00:10:15,648 --> 00:10:18,517 - [laughs] Love nogtinis. 264 00:10:18,517 --> 00:10:21,787 - Gosh. Cheers. 265 00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:27,593 - That butt-kissing Janice got my nogtini? 266 00:10:27,593 --> 00:10:29,729 She ain't getting my job. Not at all. 267 00:10:29,729 --> 00:10:31,063 I'm gonna go in, and I'm gonna-- 268 00:10:31,063 --> 00:10:32,732 I'm gonna demand it, and I'm-- 269 00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:35,267 I'm--here I go. 270 00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:37,103 ♪ ♪ 271 00:10:37,103 --> 00:10:40,072 - Emily, you're still standing here. 272 00:10:40,072 --> 00:10:41,440 - [whispering] My feet. 273 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:42,808 - All right, let's do this. 274 00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:44,877 Okay everyone, hey, come on. 275 00:10:44,877 --> 00:10:47,146 Gather round, gather round. Listen up. 276 00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:50,383 So I was gonna do this after the holiday, 277 00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:52,418 but hell, it's Christmas. 278 00:10:52,418 --> 00:10:55,788 Anyway, we figured out who's gonna replace me. 279 00:10:55,788 --> 00:10:57,189 - It's gonna be Janice. 280 00:10:57,189 --> 00:10:58,858 - As you can imagine, the choice was clear. 281 00:10:58,858 --> 00:11:00,860 So get ready 282 00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:03,696 for "The Dish with Janice"! 283 00:11:03,696 --> 00:11:04,864 [laughs] There you go! 284 00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:06,165 Let's dance. 285 00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:08,467 Here we go. 286 00:11:08,467 --> 00:11:10,603 - Boo! - Boo. 287 00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:13,672 - I already hate your show. 288 00:11:13,672 --> 00:11:15,041 - You're the only one not dancing. 289 00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:16,709 Where's your Christmas spirit? 290 00:11:16,709 --> 00:11:18,644 - Santa, mind your business, okay? 291 00:11:18,644 --> 00:11:21,614 Also, you have never brought me anything I've ever asked for. 292 00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:24,283 - Well, why don't you put it in a letter then, drunky? 293 00:11:24,283 --> 00:11:26,986 ♪ ♪ 294 00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:28,587 - Oh, you gonna go with him. 295 00:11:28,587 --> 00:11:30,089 Real supportive. 296 00:11:30,089 --> 00:11:32,558 Hey, can you, um-- can you give me something 297 00:11:32,558 --> 00:11:35,528 to make me forget tonight? 298 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:36,829 - Try that. 299 00:11:36,829 --> 00:11:38,564 - Thank you, but keep them coming. 300 00:11:38,564 --> 00:11:40,833 - You got it. - Mm, mm. 301 00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:42,034 [gags] Yeah. 302 00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:45,938 - Pure elf's blood. - Oh, mm. 303 00:11:45,938 --> 00:11:48,674 Nah, you acting shy. 304 00:11:48,674 --> 00:11:51,544 One and two, and, and... 305 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:55,014 And do the step. 306 00:11:55,014 --> 00:11:59,118 - Look at the babies. 307 00:11:59,118 --> 00:12:00,953 Hi! 308 00:12:00,953 --> 00:12:03,689 Merry Christmas! 309 00:12:03,689 --> 00:12:05,091 What are you doing? 310 00:12:05,091 --> 00:12:06,625 You guys writing your letters? 311 00:12:06,625 --> 00:12:09,428 About your hopes, and your dreams, 312 00:12:09,428 --> 00:12:11,530 and your Christmas wishes, and-- 313 00:12:11,530 --> 00:12:14,600 ooh, Santa's gonna deliver my Christmas wishes. 314 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,569 Lies, children! 315 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,237 - Ma'am, please. 316 00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:20,239 - Lies! They need to know. 317 00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:22,208 Santa doesn't grant you anything. 318 00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:24,477 He didn't grant me my job, and I want to--look at her! 319 00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:26,345 She got my job. 320 00:12:26,345 --> 00:12:28,314 How'd they get that up so quick? 321 00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:32,651 And I didn't even get to make out with the IT guy! 322 00:12:32,651 --> 00:12:35,187 When's the last time you make out with somebody, hm? 323 00:12:35,187 --> 00:12:36,689 - You can't be here without kids. 324 00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:38,357 - Oh! 325 00:12:38,357 --> 00:12:40,693 All of a sudden, I ain't got a kid. 326 00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:42,194 I can't have a baby? 327 00:12:42,194 --> 00:12:44,663 I have a child, and his name-- 328 00:12:44,663 --> 00:12:46,298 it's Timothy. 329 00:12:46,298 --> 00:12:48,167 - You're drunk. - You're drunk! 330 00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:51,003 And his name is Thomas, and he would 331 00:12:51,003 --> 00:12:53,405 really appreciate-- so I'm gonna go ahead 332 00:12:53,405 --> 00:12:55,174 and I'm gonna get-- - Excuse me? 333 00:12:55,174 --> 00:12:58,611 Sis, I will not. - That way! 334 00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:01,447 - Ma'am, no, ma'am! [groans] 335 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,883 - Excuse me! 336 00:13:03,883 --> 00:13:05,217 Rude. 337 00:13:05,217 --> 00:13:07,987 - Okay, you got your letter. 338 00:13:07,987 --> 00:13:10,055 Thank you. 339 00:13:10,055 --> 00:13:12,925 - Merry Christmas. 340 00:13:12,925 --> 00:13:18,063 For Timmy! For Timmy! 341 00:13:18,063 --> 00:13:21,033 [hip-hop music] 342 00:13:21,033 --> 00:13:25,271 ♪ ♪ 343 00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:30,376 Okay, Santa. 344 00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:34,213 Let's see how magical this mofo really is. 345 00:13:34,213 --> 00:13:36,048 Dear 346 00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:40,553 ugly asshole. [chuckles] 347 00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:43,789 JK, JK. 348 00:13:43,789 --> 00:13:47,893 Dear Santa Claus, 349 00:13:47,893 --> 00:13:50,496 I know it's been a while since we spoke 350 00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:54,099 because I don't believe in you because I'm an adult. 351 00:13:54,099 --> 00:13:59,738 However, um, you still be granting wishes? 352 00:13:59,738 --> 00:14:01,173 'Cause here are mine. 353 00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:02,808 - All right, come on, it's for kids. 354 00:14:02,808 --> 00:14:05,110 Let's go, let's go. 355 00:14:05,110 --> 00:14:08,080 [soft festive music] 356 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:11,283 ♪ ♪ 357 00:14:11,283 --> 00:14:12,985 - Santa needs to grant me wishes! 358 00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:14,954 Ma'am, no. 359 00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:17,856 Ma'am, no! - It's for Timmy! 360 00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:22,595 [upbeat music] 361 00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:29,535 ♪ ♪ 362 00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:42,047 - Hey, boss. I got a good one for you. 363 00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:44,883 - [laughs] Okay. 364 00:14:44,883 --> 00:14:46,852 Let's see. 365 00:14:46,852 --> 00:14:49,421 Oh, nogtinis, yes. 366 00:14:49,421 --> 00:14:52,424 Oh! This is a toughie. 367 00:14:52,424 --> 00:14:56,528 Her Christmas spirit is in the basement. 368 00:14:56,528 --> 00:14:58,897 I think I know just the right elf 369 00:14:58,897 --> 00:15:00,599 for this assignment. 370 00:15:00,599 --> 00:15:01,900 ♪ ♪ 371 00:15:03,168 --> 00:15:05,904 - This is the guy. 372 00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:11,877 Boris, I did it. 373 00:15:11,877 --> 00:15:14,246 I did it. 374 00:15:16,615 --> 00:15:19,518 Okay. 375 00:15:19,518 --> 00:15:21,020 All right. 376 00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:23,689 Goodnight, Boris. 377 00:15:23,689 --> 00:15:28,160 Maybe this Christmas won't be so bad after all. 378 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:31,263 Get off of me. 379 00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:37,936 [soft music] 380 00:15:37,936 --> 00:15:41,040 [yawns] 381 00:15:45,911 --> 00:15:48,147 Second best? 382 00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:52,217 Hm, Oprah? 383 00:15:52,217 --> 00:15:55,120 You are enough? 384 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,623 - Emily, breakfast! - [gasps] 385 00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,591 Get a move on. We have a lot to talk about. 386 00:15:59,591 --> 00:16:01,260 - Is that my mom? 387 00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:05,197 Wish number one, I want to be actually close to my mom. 388 00:16:07,499 --> 00:16:10,669 [grunting] 389 00:16:10,669 --> 00:16:12,871 - ♪ Hark, the herald angels... ♪ 390 00:16:12,871 --> 00:16:14,673 - Hey, beautiful. - Hey, handsome. 391 00:16:14,673 --> 00:16:17,609 ♪ ♪ 392 00:16:17,609 --> 00:16:21,714 - ♪ Peace on Earth and mercy mild ♪ 393 00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:25,017 ♪ God and sinners reconciled ♪ 394 00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:27,720 ♪ Joyful all ye nations rise ♪ 395 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,888 - Mom? 396 00:16:29,888 --> 00:16:32,891 Dad? Why am I here? 397 00:16:32,891 --> 00:16:35,094 - Oh! Good afternoon. 398 00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:38,063 I see someone overslept again. 399 00:16:38,063 --> 00:16:39,898 - Um... 400 00:16:39,898 --> 00:16:41,233 - How fast can you eat? 401 00:16:41,233 --> 00:16:43,068 Because we have a million things to do. 402 00:16:43,068 --> 00:16:45,537 And what are you wearing? Oh, ugh! 403 00:16:45,537 --> 00:16:47,873 You're gonna go up and change, right? 404 00:16:47,873 --> 00:16:49,908 - Okay, I'm sorry, when did-- 405 00:16:49,908 --> 00:16:52,411 - In an hour, I told you! 406 00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:59,485 The annual tree decorating contest? 407 00:16:59,485 --> 00:17:01,754 Big parties? 408 00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:03,389 In three days? 409 00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:06,058 We have to go and get the fireplace garland! 410 00:17:06,058 --> 00:17:09,495 Oh, oh! Honestly, Emily! 411 00:17:09,495 --> 00:17:12,798 - Okay, I just meant, when did I get here? 412 00:17:12,798 --> 00:17:15,701 I didn't--did I drive here last night? 413 00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:17,236 Oh, I am going to jail. 414 00:17:17,236 --> 00:17:19,138 - I don't understand your sense of humor. 415 00:17:19,138 --> 00:17:21,573 Here, here. Drink your nogtini, okay? 416 00:17:21,573 --> 00:17:24,943 - Wish number two, I want all the nogtinis ever. 417 00:17:24,943 --> 00:17:29,314 - Go up, change into something flattering, please! 418 00:17:29,314 --> 00:17:31,150 And then let's scoot! 419 00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:33,585 - Oh, all right. 420 00:17:33,585 --> 00:17:34,953 I don't know what's happening here, 421 00:17:34,953 --> 00:17:37,389 but I need to get back to my show--oh, my God, 422 00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:38,557 do I still have that job? 423 00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:40,626 - Show? What is she talking about? 424 00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:42,361 - I have no idea. 425 00:17:42,361 --> 00:17:43,862 The Rockettes or something? 426 00:17:43,862 --> 00:17:45,030 - Rockettes? 427 00:17:45,030 --> 00:17:46,965 [doorbell rings] Oh, God, finally. 428 00:17:46,965 --> 00:17:49,067 You know, he is so late. 429 00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:50,836 He is 12 minutes late! 430 00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:52,070 The liquor for the party! 431 00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:54,406 - Okay, what is happening here? 432 00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:56,708 - Hi, ma'am. Where would you like these? 433 00:17:56,708 --> 00:17:58,944 - You're late. - I'm sorry about that. 434 00:17:58,944 --> 00:18:00,412 We're a little backed up. 435 00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:02,080 Christmas parties and all that. - Fine, over there. 436 00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:04,116 - Okay. 437 00:18:10,389 --> 00:18:12,224 - Hi. - Hi. 438 00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,761 - I don't live here. 439 00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:17,596 - Cool, I don't either. 440 00:18:19,531 --> 00:18:22,067 Yep, here we go. - Ah! 441 00:18:22,067 --> 00:18:24,803 Careful! Those are my snowmen! 442 00:18:24,803 --> 00:18:26,004 - All right. 443 00:18:26,004 --> 00:18:27,339 - They're heirlooms! 444 00:18:27,339 --> 00:18:29,174 - Thank you for your business, 445 00:18:29,174 --> 00:18:32,377 and sorry again for the delay. 446 00:18:32,377 --> 00:18:34,213 ♪ ♪ 447 00:18:34,213 --> 00:18:36,615 Merry Christmas. 448 00:18:40,052 --> 00:18:42,521 Okay. [chuckles] 449 00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:43,722 - Men! 450 00:18:43,722 --> 00:18:47,392 Never trust a man with a winning smile. 451 00:18:47,392 --> 00:18:49,628 Your daddy ain't got one. 452 00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:52,097 Zoom, zoom. 453 00:18:52,097 --> 00:18:53,332 Don't you start. 454 00:18:53,332 --> 00:18:54,766 - Oh, no, no, no, no. 455 00:18:54,766 --> 00:18:57,436 Absolutely not. I'm not dealing with this. 456 00:18:57,436 --> 00:18:58,670 Look, I'm sorry, I'm not going to look 457 00:18:58,670 --> 00:19:00,639 at any fireplace garland or anything. 458 00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:02,474 I'm just gonna-- 459 00:19:02,474 --> 00:19:04,076 Merry Christmas, y'all. 460 00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:05,944 - Emily. - See you. 461 00:19:05,944 --> 00:19:08,413 - What? She--oh! 462 00:19:08,413 --> 00:19:10,249 How could she? 463 00:19:10,249 --> 00:19:13,285 - ♪ Hark, the herald sing ♪ 464 00:19:17,148 --> 00:19:18,916 [hip-hop music] 465 00:19:18,916 --> 00:19:21,919 [light music] 466 00:19:21,919 --> 00:19:28,860 ♪ ♪ 467 00:19:41,005 --> 00:19:43,241 - That's what I thought. 468 00:19:45,376 --> 00:19:47,378 What's up? 469 00:19:47,378 --> 00:19:48,613 No, because you've been following me. 470 00:19:48,613 --> 00:19:50,148 What's up? What you want? 471 00:19:50,148 --> 00:19:52,350 - I'm trying to sort out how much of a pain in my ass 472 00:19:52,350 --> 00:19:54,218 you're gonna be. 473 00:19:55,353 --> 00:19:56,521 - I'm sorry, who are you? 474 00:19:56,521 --> 00:19:58,489 - I'm an elf. Wolf. 475 00:19:58,489 --> 00:20:00,058 - You're a wolf? You're an elf? 476 00:20:00,058 --> 00:20:01,492 What is this? What are you talking about? 477 00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:02,860 - No, no--oh. I'm an elf. 478 00:20:02,860 --> 00:20:04,762 My name is Wolf. 479 00:20:04,762 --> 00:20:06,264 - Cool, Wolf elf. 480 00:20:06,264 --> 00:20:07,832 Here's what I'm gonna do. 481 00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:10,902 I'm going to mind my business back to the city by myself. 482 00:20:10,902 --> 00:20:13,004 I suggest you stay here. - Okay, but look. 483 00:20:13,004 --> 00:20:14,872 Your apartment's not gonna be there when you get there. 484 00:20:18,209 --> 00:20:20,978 - [laughs] 485 00:20:20,978 --> 00:20:22,947 You're still drunk. 486 00:20:22,947 --> 00:20:25,450 I'm still drunk. I get what's happening here. 487 00:20:25,450 --> 00:20:27,351 - But still, your apartment's not gon' be there, okay? 488 00:20:27,351 --> 00:20:28,519 Because this isn't your life. 489 00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:30,555 I mean, technically it is. 490 00:20:30,555 --> 00:20:32,724 But--this part is always hard to explain. 491 00:20:32,724 --> 00:20:35,226 Okay, look, you know that letter you wrote to Santa? 492 00:20:37,161 --> 00:20:39,197 All your wishes are coming true. 493 00:20:39,197 --> 00:20:41,666 - Okay. You're a crazy person. 494 00:20:41,666 --> 00:20:45,103 That's clear. There's a--hello? 495 00:20:45,103 --> 00:20:47,772 Help? 496 00:20:47,772 --> 00:20:49,607 Damn it, nobody here no more? 497 00:20:49,607 --> 00:20:52,110 Elf guy talking to me. - You know what, go ahead. 498 00:20:52,110 --> 00:20:53,544 See for yourself, all right? 499 00:20:53,544 --> 00:20:55,613 But don't be surprised by all the magical crap. 500 00:20:55,613 --> 00:20:57,215 Go on. - Okay. 501 00:20:57,215 --> 00:20:59,317 I want some help for you, brother. 502 00:20:59,317 --> 00:21:01,419 Let me get in here. 503 00:21:01,419 --> 00:21:03,654 Don't--you stay there. - Okay. 504 00:21:03,654 --> 00:21:05,590 - Okay. 505 00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:09,160 [bell dings] 506 00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:16,300 ♪ ♪ 507 00:21:20,004 --> 00:21:21,739 - "Woman crushed to death 508 00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:24,208 in freak reindeer leaping accident." 509 00:21:24,208 --> 00:21:25,476 [gasps] 510 00:21:25,476 --> 00:21:30,414 Wish number three, I wish Janice 511 00:21:30,414 --> 00:21:35,653 would take a flying leap. 512 00:21:35,653 --> 00:21:39,524 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 513 00:21:39,524 --> 00:21:41,926 Can I have this for free? She's my best friend. 514 00:21:41,926 --> 00:21:44,362 Thank you. No. 515 00:21:46,130 --> 00:21:47,932 Okay. 516 00:21:54,238 --> 00:21:55,339 That's it. That's it. 517 00:21:55,339 --> 00:21:56,674 Oh, come on. 518 00:21:56,674 --> 00:21:58,976 This is not happening. This is not happening. 519 00:21:58,976 --> 00:22:00,144 Come on! 520 00:22:00,144 --> 00:22:01,546 - Yo! 521 00:22:01,546 --> 00:22:03,648 You got the wrong apartment, lady. 522 00:22:05,016 --> 00:22:06,250 - Is this 5C? 523 00:22:06,250 --> 00:22:08,419 - Yeah. - And you live here? 524 00:22:08,419 --> 00:22:10,254 - Yeah. Can I help you? 525 00:22:10,254 --> 00:22:12,757 - Cool, cool, no. Don't panic. 526 00:22:12,757 --> 00:22:15,626 Hey, um, is there a cat in here? 527 00:22:15,626 --> 00:22:18,863 His name is Boris, and he's insightful and fluffy. 528 00:22:18,863 --> 00:22:20,832 - I'm vegan. - Oh, but we don't eat him. 529 00:22:20,832 --> 00:22:23,768 He's for loving. Boris? Okay. 530 00:22:26,671 --> 00:22:28,606 Oh, my God. Oh, my God, oh, my God. 531 00:22:28,606 --> 00:22:29,974 What is happening? 532 00:22:29,974 --> 00:22:31,509 This can't be real. It's not real. 533 00:22:31,509 --> 00:22:33,177 Is it? Is it? 534 00:22:33,177 --> 00:22:35,479 Wait, am I crazy? 535 00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:38,049 Oh, God, did I kill someone? 536 00:22:38,049 --> 00:22:41,586 Oh, no, do I have to spend Christmas with my mom? 537 00:22:41,586 --> 00:22:43,221 - Did you say kill? - [gasps] 538 00:22:43,221 --> 00:22:44,722 [festive music] 539 00:22:44,722 --> 00:22:47,859 [muttering angrily] 540 00:22:47,859 --> 00:22:49,760 You wanna tell me what the hell is going on here? 541 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:51,596 - It's what I was trying to tell you, okay? 542 00:22:51,596 --> 00:22:54,265 You remember wandering up in here last night? 543 00:22:54,265 --> 00:22:56,100 - Dear Santa Claus. 544 00:22:56,100 --> 00:22:58,402 Job stealing bitch! 545 00:22:58,402 --> 00:23:00,304 Lies, children! 546 00:23:00,304 --> 00:23:03,040 There's nothing in this but lies! 547 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:04,375 - Ma'am. 548 00:23:04,375 --> 00:23:07,612 - I'm--I'm going, sir! 549 00:23:07,612 --> 00:23:10,748 ♪ ♪ 550 00:23:10,748 --> 00:23:12,717 Yes. - Okay? 551 00:23:12,717 --> 00:23:14,952 Well, your wish came true, okay? 552 00:23:14,952 --> 00:23:16,320 You got your wish. 553 00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:17,755 Santa is into lessons this year. 554 00:23:17,755 --> 00:23:19,957 I know. It's super annoying. 555 00:23:19,957 --> 00:23:22,126 You know how you want to be close to your mom, right? 556 00:23:22,126 --> 00:23:23,494 - Okay. 557 00:23:23,494 --> 00:23:25,830 - Okay, well, now y'all are close physically. 558 00:23:25,830 --> 00:23:29,634 - That's not what I meant! - I know. 559 00:23:29,634 --> 00:23:31,569 Santa is a literal son of a bitch. 560 00:23:31,569 --> 00:23:33,671 - Actually, is this your boy here? 561 00:23:33,671 --> 00:23:35,506 Tell your boy to take it back. 562 00:23:35,506 --> 00:23:36,974 I'm out. - Okay, okay, okay. 563 00:23:36,974 --> 00:23:38,609 Wait, wait, wait. Listen, listen, listen, okay? 564 00:23:38,609 --> 00:23:40,578 It's not that easy, all right? 565 00:23:40,578 --> 00:23:43,781 You got until 12:00 midnight Christmas Eve. 566 00:23:43,781 --> 00:23:46,651 And you got to prove to Santa that you've changed, 567 00:23:46,651 --> 00:23:48,185 that you've learned your lesson, 568 00:23:48,185 --> 00:23:49,921 that you got your Christmas spirit back. 569 00:23:49,921 --> 00:23:51,355 And you're gonna have to write him 570 00:23:51,355 --> 00:23:56,060 an amended letter about your true Christmas wish. 571 00:23:56,060 --> 00:23:58,329 Then you'll get your old life back, 572 00:23:58,329 --> 00:24:00,865 and no one will remember any of this except you. 573 00:24:00,865 --> 00:24:02,366 - No. 574 00:24:02,366 --> 00:24:04,335 Fight me. What if I don't do it? 575 00:24:04,335 --> 00:24:05,603 - No? - Yeah, no. 576 00:24:05,603 --> 00:24:07,138 - Okay, well, if you don't do it, 577 00:24:07,138 --> 00:24:09,807 then you're gonna be in this alternate universe forever. 578 00:24:09,807 --> 00:24:13,911 And your last wish is gonna come true forever. 579 00:24:13,911 --> 00:24:15,813 - My last wish. Oh, God. 580 00:24:15,813 --> 00:24:17,682 I don't even want to know. What is it? 581 00:24:17,682 --> 00:24:20,551 - Oh, okay, okay. Let's see what it is. 582 00:24:20,551 --> 00:24:22,753 You wished that the entire world 583 00:24:22,753 --> 00:24:24,088 would turn into fruitcake. 584 00:24:24,088 --> 00:24:26,657 - I would never ask for that. Not once. 585 00:24:26,657 --> 00:24:28,059 - You right. Yeah, okay. 586 00:24:28,059 --> 00:24:29,460 You didn't ask for that exactly. 587 00:24:29,460 --> 00:24:30,661 This is what you said. 588 00:24:30,661 --> 00:24:33,097 You said, "Oh, I'm so hungry. 589 00:24:33,097 --> 00:24:35,800 "Oh, I could eat anything. Oh, you know what? 590 00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:38,369 "Deliver me all the fruitcake in the world 591 00:24:38,369 --> 00:24:41,539 since you such a magical mofo." 592 00:24:41,539 --> 00:24:44,208 - Damn. - That's what you said. 593 00:24:44,208 --> 00:24:45,676 - That sounds just like me. 594 00:24:45,676 --> 00:24:47,311 - And I guess I'm here to help you. 595 00:24:47,311 --> 00:24:51,682 - I just--good God, I truly am the queen of bad decisions. 596 00:24:51,682 --> 00:24:55,619 - ♪ It's a celebration ♪ 597 00:24:55,619 --> 00:24:57,888 - What is happening? 598 00:24:57,888 --> 00:25:00,925 - Okay, well, apparently you wished 599 00:25:00,925 --> 00:25:03,527 to be the queen of a dance circle, 600 00:25:03,527 --> 00:25:05,529 and you just said the secret word. 601 00:25:05,529 --> 00:25:07,898 - What--no, no, no, no. 602 00:25:07,898 --> 00:25:10,301 You can go. How do I get them to go? 603 00:25:10,301 --> 00:25:12,903 You can go. - They're not gonna stop, okay? 604 00:25:12,903 --> 00:25:15,406 You gon' have to dance, okay? 605 00:25:15,406 --> 00:25:16,807 Or this gonna go on forever. 606 00:25:16,807 --> 00:25:18,542 Look at her. That's gonna happen. 607 00:25:18,542 --> 00:25:19,777 That right there with the ribbon. 608 00:25:19,777 --> 00:25:21,412 There. Go on, dance. 609 00:25:21,412 --> 00:25:26,584 - ♪ Let me hear you say, I'm ready for the holiday ♪ 610 00:25:26,584 --> 00:25:28,452 - That's what you chose? You chose that? 611 00:25:28,452 --> 00:25:31,255 Okay, okay. 612 00:25:31,255 --> 00:25:33,624 - I can't do this. 613 00:25:33,624 --> 00:25:40,731 ♪ ♪ 614 00:25:48,072 --> 00:25:50,141 Mm. 615 00:25:54,745 --> 00:25:57,848 Mm-hmm, how do I still have that? 616 00:26:07,191 --> 00:26:09,960 Well, KLDA Nation, 617 00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,830 looks like we officially have a Christmas 618 00:26:12,830 --> 00:26:15,633 of all I didn't want. 619 00:26:23,574 --> 00:26:27,344 - Mm. Ah. 620 00:26:27,344 --> 00:26:29,814 - Emily, breakfast! 621 00:26:29,814 --> 00:26:32,149 Okay. [clears throat] 622 00:26:33,784 --> 00:26:37,321 Ice sculptures, which you and your dad can pick up. 623 00:26:37,321 --> 00:26:38,656 - Okay. 624 00:26:38,656 --> 00:26:41,492 - And also, of course, our hair appointments. 625 00:26:41,492 --> 00:26:46,697 And we have to find you a date for the party. 626 00:26:46,697 --> 00:26:50,301 - No, I really don't think we do. 627 00:26:52,470 --> 00:26:54,939 - Listen, it's only two days. 628 00:26:54,939 --> 00:26:59,009 Don't be nervous. I know that we can do this. 629 00:26:59,009 --> 00:27:02,880 Which brings us to Goldie, 630 00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:07,785 Silversmith, and Platinum. 631 00:27:07,785 --> 00:27:09,687 I'll handle her alone. 632 00:27:09,687 --> 00:27:13,357 Oh, she is going to win that cover for us. 633 00:27:13,357 --> 00:27:16,594 It's her year. I know she can do it. 634 00:27:16,594 --> 00:27:18,996 If we find her the right tools, 635 00:27:18,996 --> 00:27:21,866 she can do anything she wants. 636 00:27:21,866 --> 00:27:24,301 - Right, the tree can do whatever she wants. 637 00:27:24,301 --> 00:27:25,970 Me, not so much. 638 00:27:25,970 --> 00:27:28,672 - Hey, how do I look? 639 00:27:28,672 --> 00:27:31,142 - Like you are avoiding helping me. 640 00:27:31,142 --> 00:27:33,077 - Oh, oh, oh, Em. 641 00:27:33,077 --> 00:27:34,578 There was this sort of love letter 642 00:27:34,578 --> 00:27:36,080 waiting for you at the door. 643 00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:38,349 Okay. Well, ladies, have fun. 644 00:27:38,349 --> 00:27:40,184 Fellas are waiting. I got to go. 645 00:27:40,184 --> 00:27:43,087 I love you, baby. - Get out of here! 646 00:27:43,087 --> 00:27:45,356 He's always running off. Oh! 647 00:27:45,356 --> 00:27:47,591 - It's from Chet Charles. No frigging way. 648 00:27:47,591 --> 00:27:51,495 - Chet Charles. - Oh. 649 00:27:51,495 --> 00:27:53,664 [card playing music] Okay. 650 00:27:53,664 --> 00:27:55,966 "Please go out with me. 651 00:27:55,966 --> 00:27:59,570 "Until then, here's a lock of my hair 652 00:27:59,570 --> 00:28:01,705 "to keep my essence near. 653 00:28:01,705 --> 00:28:03,641 Love you forever." 654 00:28:03,641 --> 00:28:06,410 Oh, my God. This is so gross. 655 00:28:06,410 --> 00:28:07,745 Wish number five, 656 00:28:07,745 --> 00:28:09,647 I want the hottest guy I can think of 657 00:28:09,647 --> 00:28:12,049 to be completely crazed-balls obsessed with me. 658 00:28:12,049 --> 00:28:14,318 High school god Chet Charles. 659 00:28:14,318 --> 00:28:18,189 - Oh, Chet Charles. He's a sweetheart. 660 00:28:18,189 --> 00:28:21,058 Didn't you have a big crush on him in high school? 661 00:28:21,058 --> 00:28:22,893 - Mom, that was like a million years ago. 662 00:28:22,893 --> 00:28:24,929 But it looks like he's a serial killer now. 663 00:28:24,929 --> 00:28:27,464 - No, no. You should know he's a dentist. 664 00:28:27,464 --> 00:28:31,235 I mean, he has his posters all over town. 665 00:28:31,235 --> 00:28:35,439 I am just so surprised that he sent this to you. 666 00:28:35,439 --> 00:28:39,977 Now you can cross off finding a date as one 667 00:28:39,977 --> 00:28:41,946 of the tasks on your list. 668 00:28:41,946 --> 00:28:43,214 You know something? 669 00:28:43,214 --> 00:28:45,349 You have been moving like molasses. 670 00:28:45,349 --> 00:28:47,985 You act like you want to be late for work. 671 00:28:47,985 --> 00:28:49,987 - Work? - Work! 672 00:28:49,987 --> 00:28:52,256 Come on, let's get out of here. 673 00:28:52,256 --> 00:28:54,024 - I didn't realize I had a job here. 674 00:28:54,024 --> 00:28:55,259 - Well, you do. 675 00:28:57,678 --> 00:28:59,046 - Come on, hurry up. Oh! 676 00:28:59,046 --> 00:29:01,282 The ice angels are back in stock again. 677 00:29:01,282 --> 00:29:04,452 Now, remember to pick up the frozen pigs in a blanket, okay? 678 00:29:04,452 --> 00:29:06,621 After you get off of work. And brush your hair. 679 00:29:06,621 --> 00:29:08,156 Ah! 680 00:29:08,156 --> 00:29:10,258 Look, your boyfriend, Chet the dentist! 681 00:29:10,258 --> 00:29:12,326 [laughing] Oh, I gotta go. 682 00:29:12,326 --> 00:29:13,628 I gotta get those angels. 683 00:29:13,628 --> 00:29:15,730 Oh, come on, they're over there. 684 00:29:15,730 --> 00:29:18,032 - That's not my man. 685 00:29:19,567 --> 00:29:22,069 What are you doing here? What am I doing here? 686 00:29:22,069 --> 00:29:24,639 - Okay, well, this is where you work. 687 00:29:24,639 --> 00:29:26,073 - Boss Ass Bitchmas? 688 00:29:26,073 --> 00:29:29,844 Wish number six, I want to be a boss ass bitch! 689 00:29:29,844 --> 00:29:30,878 - Mm-hmm. - Ornament? 690 00:29:30,878 --> 00:29:32,680 I--oh, no! 691 00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:33,881 - Huh, what? - Hide me! 692 00:29:33,881 --> 00:29:35,082 - Okay, look. 693 00:29:35,082 --> 00:29:36,450 I don't really do hugs, you know. 694 00:29:36,450 --> 00:29:38,119 This feel weird, so... 695 00:29:38,119 --> 00:29:40,121 - No, no, no, no, no. 696 00:29:40,121 --> 00:29:42,723 You see that girl over there with the blonde hair 697 00:29:42,723 --> 00:29:44,759 and the angry eyes? 698 00:29:44,759 --> 00:29:46,594 Ginger George. 699 00:29:46,594 --> 00:29:49,330 She used to be my best friend, up until freshman year, 700 00:29:49,330 --> 00:29:51,666 when she decided to ruin my life 701 00:29:51,666 --> 00:29:53,467 at the Glen Ridge Christmas Fair 702 00:29:53,467 --> 00:29:55,970 in front of everybody. - What happened? 703 00:29:57,305 --> 00:30:00,308 [applause] 704 00:30:03,110 --> 00:30:04,812 - I actually can't go there right now. 705 00:30:04,812 --> 00:30:07,315 I can't. It's--I can't. 706 00:30:07,315 --> 00:30:09,350 In a nutshell, 707 00:30:09,350 --> 00:30:12,520 she bullied me straight through high school graduation. 708 00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:14,722 It was awful. 709 00:30:14,722 --> 00:30:16,891 I mean, I went from having friends 710 00:30:16,891 --> 00:30:19,193 to all of a sudden being a social pariah. 711 00:30:19,193 --> 00:30:20,628 Like, you should have heard the things 712 00:30:20,628 --> 00:30:22,029 that the kids said about me. 713 00:30:22,029 --> 00:30:23,764 And to my face! 714 00:30:24,732 --> 00:30:26,300 Oh, no, no, no. - Ahh! 715 00:30:26,300 --> 00:30:27,602 BFF! 716 00:30:27,602 --> 00:30:30,171 - Wish number seven, I want a BFF. 717 00:30:30,171 --> 00:30:32,039 - You crazy biznatch! 718 00:30:32,039 --> 00:30:34,008 Why were you doing that little hidey-hidey thing? 719 00:30:34,008 --> 00:30:36,544 And um--oh, my God, who is this? 720 00:30:36,544 --> 00:30:38,646 Is it your boyfriend? 721 00:30:38,646 --> 00:30:40,781 - No, this is my elf. 722 00:30:40,781 --> 00:30:42,550 - Okay. 723 00:30:42,550 --> 00:30:45,019 Why you being so weird, you weirdo? 724 00:30:45,019 --> 00:30:46,554 Oh, my God. 725 00:30:46,554 --> 00:30:48,889 So I finished the Bitches Love Santa ornaments, 726 00:30:48,889 --> 00:30:52,893 and I designed this super cute new one. 727 00:30:55,997 --> 00:30:58,432 - "Don't be silent tonight, bae." 728 00:30:58,432 --> 00:31:00,101 - It's even cuter when other people say it. 729 00:31:00,101 --> 00:31:04,071 So are you ready to get to work? 730 00:31:04,071 --> 00:31:05,673 - No, I need a minute. 731 00:31:05,673 --> 00:31:09,310 - Okay, BRB then because I'm going to grab coffee, 732 00:31:09,310 --> 00:31:13,147 unless maybe I could grab something else? 733 00:31:16,250 --> 00:31:18,686 Okay. 734 00:31:18,686 --> 00:31:20,888 - Excuse me, what was that? 735 00:31:20,888 --> 00:31:22,657 - Yeah, I figured this would happen. 736 00:31:22,657 --> 00:31:24,225 It's my elfmones. 737 00:31:24,225 --> 00:31:27,261 Yeah, elf pheromones are like catnip to humans. 738 00:31:27,261 --> 00:31:28,829 Sad. 739 00:31:28,829 --> 00:31:30,865 - [sniffs] - Huh? 740 00:31:30,865 --> 00:31:32,800 - Can I get you something, Daddy? 741 00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:35,770 No, no! Focus. 742 00:31:35,770 --> 00:31:38,639 Okay, what I'm getting here 743 00:31:38,639 --> 00:31:42,610 is that I work here 744 00:31:42,610 --> 00:31:47,448 with my bully, who is my BFF? 745 00:31:51,452 --> 00:31:53,487 I'm gonna leave in a huff so huffy. 746 00:31:53,487 --> 00:31:55,456 - Okay. - Get ready for it. 747 00:31:55,456 --> 00:31:56,957 [groans] 748 00:31:56,957 --> 00:32:00,995 I'm writing Santa now! [laughs] 749 00:32:00,995 --> 00:32:06,600 Dear Santa, my true wish is to go back 750 00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:10,471 to my real life. 751 00:32:10,471 --> 00:32:12,940 - That's not gonna work. - There, yeah. 752 00:32:16,310 --> 00:32:18,012 [laughs] 753 00:32:18,012 --> 00:32:22,149 No, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 754 00:32:22,149 --> 00:32:25,419 Santa, you got me. You will not beat me! 755 00:32:25,419 --> 00:32:27,955 I think the real problem was that I wasn't specific enough, 756 00:32:27,955 --> 00:32:29,957 and I totally under-- I apologize. 757 00:32:29,957 --> 00:32:34,161 Dear Santa, sorry I wasn't specific enough. 758 00:32:34,161 --> 00:32:38,999 I would like to live at 5C again. 759 00:32:38,999 --> 00:32:42,370 - No, it's-- - Chill, I got this. 760 00:32:42,370 --> 00:32:44,638 - Okay, okay. - 5C. 761 00:32:47,241 --> 00:32:48,976 - Pass the tofu nuggets, roomie. 762 00:32:48,976 --> 00:32:50,978 - Tofu? 763 00:32:50,978 --> 00:32:52,646 - Hey, welcome back! - I got it. 764 00:32:52,646 --> 00:32:54,482 I figured it out. - You smell like tofurkey. 765 00:32:54,482 --> 00:32:55,783 - I know, I know. 766 00:32:55,783 --> 00:32:57,585 I just need to be real specific with him, 767 00:32:57,585 --> 00:32:59,053 or I need to--I got it. 768 00:32:59,053 --> 00:33:03,724 Dear Santa, I want everyone 769 00:33:03,724 --> 00:33:06,527 at my job to see the real me. 770 00:33:06,527 --> 00:33:07,962 - Real you--no! 771 00:33:07,962 --> 00:33:10,064 - I have to beat Santa's ass. - Santa is literal! 772 00:33:10,064 --> 00:33:11,065 - I will beat-- - Santa is literal! 773 00:33:11,065 --> 00:33:12,633 - Can Santa whoop my ass? 774 00:33:12,633 --> 00:33:15,035 [gasps] 775 00:33:15,035 --> 00:33:18,239 - Why are you naked, you crazy bitch? 776 00:33:18,239 --> 00:33:22,476 - Lookin' good, Emily! - Is this casual Friday? 777 00:33:22,476 --> 00:33:24,412 - Okay. 778 00:33:24,412 --> 00:33:27,848 Dear Santa, you think this is a game? 779 00:33:27,848 --> 00:33:29,717 Huh, Santa? - Okay. 780 00:33:29,717 --> 00:33:32,520 - Erase everything-- - No, don't write that! 781 00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:34,288 - And start--shh! 782 00:33:34,288 --> 00:33:35,423 - Don't write it. - Huh? Huh? 783 00:33:35,423 --> 00:33:37,625 - Don't do that. - Huh! Huh! 784 00:33:37,625 --> 00:33:42,196 Erase everything and start over, ha! 785 00:33:42,196 --> 00:33:43,931 - Ooh! You don't wanna say start over. 786 00:33:43,931 --> 00:33:47,101 - No, we gon' start-- ♪ Over ♪ 787 00:33:47,101 --> 00:33:50,237 [wind whooshing] 788 00:33:55,075 --> 00:33:57,244 Wolf? 789 00:33:59,647 --> 00:34:02,082 Wolf? 790 00:34:04,452 --> 00:34:07,655 Oh, my God, fruitcake feet. 791 00:34:07,655 --> 00:34:10,691 [creature screeching] 792 00:34:10,691 --> 00:34:12,893 - Oh, no, no, no! 793 00:34:12,893 --> 00:34:15,496 [tablet jingles] 794 00:34:15,496 --> 00:34:18,299 - Lost Souls Department, Emergency Services. 795 00:34:18,299 --> 00:34:19,900 - Uh, yeah, man, I'ma need a reset. 796 00:34:19,900 --> 00:34:21,068 She reached Snowpocalypse. 797 00:34:21,068 --> 00:34:23,170 - Yikes, Tooth Fairy. 798 00:34:23,170 --> 00:34:24,772 Sure you wanna reset now? 799 00:34:24,772 --> 00:34:27,308 - I mean, how bad can the Tooth Fairy be? 800 00:34:27,308 --> 00:34:31,178 - You seen her teeth, man? Ugh. 801 00:34:31,178 --> 00:34:34,648 [tablet dings] - Ah! Ah, help me! 802 00:34:34,648 --> 00:34:37,551 [creature growling] 803 00:34:40,154 --> 00:34:43,057 Wolf! - Yo, hey. 804 00:34:43,057 --> 00:34:45,059 Are you done? - Ah! 805 00:34:45,059 --> 00:34:46,760 I'm done. - Okay. 806 00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:51,265 Well, now what, oh, magical elfin guide? 807 00:34:51,265 --> 00:34:54,635 - Okay, well, maybe neither is your best life, okay? 808 00:34:54,635 --> 00:34:56,770 Not the old one and not the new one. 809 00:34:56,770 --> 00:34:58,506 - Are you trying to say something helpful? 810 00:34:58,506 --> 00:35:00,674 Be careful. - Okay, okay, look. 811 00:35:00,674 --> 00:35:02,109 I'm sorry you got stuck with a shitty guide. 812 00:35:02,109 --> 00:35:03,511 - I did. - All right. 813 00:35:03,511 --> 00:35:05,479 This is not my area of expertise. 814 00:35:05,479 --> 00:35:08,115 But maybe it's time we lean into this whole thing. 815 00:35:08,115 --> 00:35:10,150 Okay? For the both of us. 816 00:35:10,150 --> 00:35:11,819 Because I know you don't care. - I don't. 817 00:35:11,819 --> 00:35:13,287 - But if this doesn't work out for you, 818 00:35:13,287 --> 00:35:15,256 I'ma have to work for the Tooth Fairy. 819 00:35:15,256 --> 00:35:17,224 - [laughs] Okay, cool. 820 00:35:17,224 --> 00:35:19,326 So now the Tooth Fairy is real. 821 00:35:19,326 --> 00:35:21,228 Look, assuming that I believe you, 822 00:35:21,228 --> 00:35:23,264 that doesn't even sound that bad. 823 00:35:23,264 --> 00:35:24,999 - Not that bad? Okay. 824 00:35:24,999 --> 00:35:26,300 All right. You know what? 825 00:35:26,300 --> 00:35:28,736 Look at this. 826 00:35:28,736 --> 00:35:31,672 [creature screeches] 827 00:35:31,672 --> 00:35:34,575 - Oh, we need to figure this out together. 828 00:35:34,575 --> 00:35:36,577 - One sec. 829 00:35:36,577 --> 00:35:39,680 [bell dings] [chuckles] 830 00:35:41,582 --> 00:35:43,751 - Not you dressed like you in Silk Sonic. 831 00:35:43,751 --> 00:35:46,453 How you do that? - I'm a magical elf, bitch! 832 00:35:47,855 --> 00:35:49,490 - All right, well, now I look like garbage, 833 00:35:49,490 --> 00:35:50,824 so I'm finna go change. 834 00:35:50,824 --> 00:35:53,394 Do not look at my yearbooks, okay? 835 00:35:54,862 --> 00:35:57,264 - Hmm, what's a yearbook? 836 00:36:00,334 --> 00:36:02,102 - [sniffing] 837 00:36:02,102 --> 00:36:04,471 - The disrespect. 838 00:36:04,471 --> 00:36:06,640 Okay, you were not kidding about those pheromones, huh? 839 00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:08,742 - Yeah. That's why we don't do karaoke. 840 00:36:08,742 --> 00:36:11,245 It's too risky. - Yeah, say less. 841 00:36:11,245 --> 00:36:12,846 That'd be too dangerous for you. 842 00:36:12,846 --> 00:36:14,148 - Hey! 843 00:36:14,148 --> 00:36:15,282 It's the gal from the party house 844 00:36:15,282 --> 00:36:17,718 with the punctual mom. 845 00:36:17,718 --> 00:36:20,654 - It's the late delivery guy with the booze. 846 00:36:20,654 --> 00:36:21,722 - Yeah. 847 00:36:21,722 --> 00:36:26,026 Wyatt Snowmyn. - Wyatt Snowman? 848 00:36:26,026 --> 00:36:27,761 - No, close, "myn." 849 00:36:27,761 --> 00:36:29,663 - Are you serious right now? - Snowmyn. 850 00:36:29,663 --> 00:36:31,332 - Oh, I understand what's happening. 851 00:36:31,332 --> 00:36:33,100 This is--it's very clear. 852 00:36:33,100 --> 00:36:35,135 You're a snowman who's temporarily been 853 00:36:35,135 --> 00:36:36,437 turned into a human being. 854 00:36:36,437 --> 00:36:38,772 This is really hilarious. This is very clever. 855 00:36:38,772 --> 00:36:41,241 This is why he was so cute and smiley the other day. 856 00:36:41,241 --> 00:36:43,210 - You think-- you thought I was cute? 857 00:36:43,210 --> 00:36:44,278 - Actually, I'm sorry. 858 00:36:44,278 --> 00:36:45,813 I don't have time for questions. 859 00:36:45,813 --> 00:36:47,314 We're actually in the middle of something right now, so-- 860 00:36:47,314 --> 00:36:49,350 can I just learn whatever the lesson is tomorrow? 861 00:36:49,350 --> 00:36:51,218 - I'm sorry, what? - Babe! 862 00:36:51,218 --> 00:36:53,721 [laughs] I'm very busy. 863 00:36:53,721 --> 00:36:56,523 Please just go find your magic hat or whatever, you know. 864 00:36:56,523 --> 00:36:58,058 I'll catch up with you tomorrow, all right? 865 00:36:58,058 --> 00:36:59,293 - Okay, I'm-- - Get! 866 00:36:59,293 --> 00:37:01,261 - Get? - Snowmyn. 867 00:37:01,261 --> 00:37:03,430 Y'all ain't on a schedule? [laughs] 868 00:37:03,430 --> 00:37:06,200 - He's not one of ours. 869 00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:09,670 - Oh, sh--hey, Snowmyn! 870 00:37:09,670 --> 00:37:11,739 Sh-- - Maybe he melted. 871 00:37:11,739 --> 00:37:12,673 - Shut up! 872 00:37:15,126 --> 00:37:17,662 - Okay, a little corn dog truck. 873 00:37:17,662 --> 00:37:21,265 - Mm-hmm, that's how we do it in the 'burbs! 874 00:37:21,265 --> 00:37:22,934 Where do you hang out? 875 00:37:22,934 --> 00:37:25,503 - Oh, reindeer stalls. 876 00:37:25,503 --> 00:37:26,871 All right, so let's lean in! 877 00:37:26,871 --> 00:37:30,308 Okay, let's start here. So, uh, lover boy. 878 00:37:30,308 --> 00:37:32,043 Tell me about him. - Oh, come on. 879 00:37:32,043 --> 00:37:33,477 That's so embarrassing. 880 00:37:33,477 --> 00:37:35,413 Chet Charles was like the high school heartthrob. 881 00:37:35,413 --> 00:37:36,714 If I knew that this was real, 882 00:37:36,714 --> 00:37:38,416 I would have chosen someone else. 883 00:37:38,416 --> 00:37:39,984 - Let's go a little bit deeper, okay? 884 00:37:39,984 --> 00:37:43,354 Let's start at the beginning. Let's see. 885 00:37:43,354 --> 00:37:45,289 Tell me about this. 886 00:37:45,289 --> 00:37:47,358 - Yeah, that's me and Mom in front 887 00:37:47,358 --> 00:37:50,127 of her three precious Christmas trees. 888 00:37:50,127 --> 00:37:53,097 She was always more proud of them than she was of me. 889 00:37:53,097 --> 00:37:54,865 Yeah. - Okay. 890 00:37:54,865 --> 00:37:56,934 Are you ready to tell me about Ginger? 891 00:37:58,536 --> 00:38:01,238 - [sighs] Okay. 892 00:38:03,140 --> 00:38:07,712 Ginger and I were best friends. We were inseparable, honestly. 893 00:38:07,712 --> 00:38:12,083 And when I started getting a little chubby, 894 00:38:12,083 --> 00:38:16,988 I also got really insecure because kids are assholes. 895 00:38:16,988 --> 00:38:20,625 And Ginger always had my back, you know, 896 00:38:20,625 --> 00:38:24,829 until the Christmas she decided to make my body a thing. 897 00:38:24,829 --> 00:38:28,499 - I hate her already. Continue. 898 00:38:28,499 --> 00:38:30,501 - So we were rehearsing 899 00:38:30,501 --> 00:38:32,570 for the Christmas talent show for weeks, 900 00:38:32,570 --> 00:38:36,841 and we were just about to go on stage, and... 901 00:38:36,841 --> 00:38:39,543 - Hey, Ginger! Are you ready? 902 00:38:39,543 --> 00:38:41,545 I'm pretty nervous. 903 00:38:41,545 --> 00:38:44,048 - So they don't think 904 00:38:44,048 --> 00:38:46,250 you should perform with us. 905 00:38:46,250 --> 00:38:48,085 - What? 906 00:38:48,085 --> 00:38:49,954 But why? 907 00:38:49,954 --> 00:38:53,724 - Isn't it obvious, Gummy Tummy? 908 00:38:55,192 --> 00:38:56,961 - Rude. 909 00:38:56,961 --> 00:38:59,463 I hate Christmas. 910 00:39:00,631 --> 00:39:03,601 Then she just dropped me. 911 00:39:03,601 --> 00:39:05,069 - And you really never danced again? 912 00:39:05,069 --> 00:39:09,373 - No, not at school, or really anywhere else. 913 00:39:10,608 --> 00:39:12,843 Yeah, when your best friend dumps you 914 00:39:12,843 --> 00:39:15,112 real publicly like that, you sort of learn 915 00:39:15,112 --> 00:39:20,184 that life is a little better out of the limelight. 916 00:39:20,184 --> 00:39:22,520 - Man, that makes me mad. 917 00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:25,389 I just want to punch Dasher right in his face. 918 00:39:25,389 --> 00:39:28,125 And I like Dasher. He's my guy. 919 00:39:28,125 --> 00:39:31,362 - Thank you so much for your emotional outburst. 920 00:39:31,362 --> 00:39:34,131 Also, you know, I uh-- [chuckles] 921 00:39:34,131 --> 00:39:36,567 Even though I still don't know how to get out of this mess, 922 00:39:36,567 --> 00:39:40,171 I actually do feel a lot better 923 00:39:40,171 --> 00:39:42,173 unloading all of that. 924 00:39:42,173 --> 00:39:44,408 So thank you. 925 00:39:45,710 --> 00:39:48,612 Look at you being surprisingly helpful. 926 00:39:48,612 --> 00:39:50,748 - Hey, I'm pretty wise. 927 00:39:50,748 --> 00:39:53,451 - Great, I need that. So what do I do now? 928 00:39:53,451 --> 00:39:56,020 - Ooh, fudge if I know. 929 00:39:56,020 --> 00:39:59,423 - Why are we opening these books? 930 00:40:01,692 --> 00:40:04,095 - You really think Linda's trying to sabotage you? 931 00:40:04,095 --> 00:40:05,896 - Well, I don't know anymore. 932 00:40:05,896 --> 00:40:08,799 But I did see her peeping through our window last night. 933 00:40:08,799 --> 00:40:10,935 And if you don't call that sabotage, 934 00:40:10,935 --> 00:40:12,903 then I don't know. 935 00:40:12,903 --> 00:40:17,108 - Um, I think you should just talk to her. 936 00:40:17,108 --> 00:40:19,143 You like all the same stuff. 937 00:40:19,143 --> 00:40:21,479 Decorating, holidays, 938 00:40:21,479 --> 00:40:25,116 glitter, dressing nice, 939 00:40:25,116 --> 00:40:28,419 holidays, looking pretty. 940 00:40:28,419 --> 00:40:31,322 - You think she's pretty? - Oh, heavens no. 941 00:40:31,322 --> 00:40:34,558 ♪ I think you're pretty, baby ♪ 942 00:40:34,558 --> 00:40:36,327 ♪ Sure look good to me ♪ - Oh. 943 00:40:36,327 --> 00:40:38,362 - Mm-hmm. 944 00:40:38,362 --> 00:40:40,698 - Well, she never invites me 945 00:40:40,698 --> 00:40:44,535 to her ladies' nights, you know? 946 00:40:44,535 --> 00:40:48,005 Of course I wouldn't go, but I mean, 947 00:40:48,005 --> 00:40:52,009 I think it still would be nice to be asked, you know? 948 00:40:53,844 --> 00:40:55,379 I'm fun. 949 00:40:55,379 --> 00:40:57,481 Right, Stan? 950 00:40:57,481 --> 00:40:59,116 - Of course you are. 951 00:40:59,116 --> 00:41:02,319 You are very--yeah. 952 00:41:02,319 --> 00:41:05,022 - [laughs] - Sure you are, baby. 953 00:41:05,022 --> 00:41:08,325 - I think there's one spot over by your right armpit 954 00:41:08,325 --> 00:41:11,462 that is empty still. 955 00:41:11,462 --> 00:41:13,898 No, no, your right armpit. The right. 956 00:41:13,898 --> 00:41:15,533 - Baby, this is my right armpit. 957 00:41:15,533 --> 00:41:17,101 No more nogtinis for you. 958 00:41:17,101 --> 00:41:19,770 - Okay. 959 00:41:19,770 --> 00:41:24,875 I just don't think we have the right feature piece. 960 00:41:24,875 --> 00:41:28,179 We need a unique conversation piece, 961 00:41:28,179 --> 00:41:29,547 you know, a showstopper. 962 00:41:29,547 --> 00:41:31,849 - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. 963 00:41:31,849 --> 00:41:34,451 Maybe I can find one after the hair salon. 964 00:41:34,451 --> 00:41:36,654 - Hey, you ready? 965 00:41:36,654 --> 00:41:38,889 - Oh, hey, baby. You ready to go? 966 00:41:38,889 --> 00:41:41,025 Okay, chop chop. - Let's do it. 967 00:41:41,025 --> 00:41:44,295 [upbeat music] 968 00:41:44,295 --> 00:41:50,067 ♪ ♪ 969 00:41:50,067 --> 00:41:51,936 - So, Sally. 970 00:41:51,936 --> 00:41:55,573 Thank you for squeezing us in for this trial run. 971 00:41:55,573 --> 00:42:00,511 So tell me, how high can you get our hair? 972 00:42:00,511 --> 00:42:02,379 - All the way up, baby. 973 00:42:02,379 --> 00:42:05,516 - Oh, you gave me a chill. 974 00:42:05,516 --> 00:42:08,853 You know, my daughter, Emily, she's gonna be bringing 975 00:42:08,853 --> 00:42:11,355 a dentist to the party. 976 00:42:11,355 --> 00:42:13,390 - No. - Oh, a dentist? 977 00:42:13,390 --> 00:42:14,959 - Yes! - No, no, no, no, I'm not. 978 00:42:14,959 --> 00:42:17,728 I'm not gonna bring the dentist to the party. 979 00:42:17,728 --> 00:42:21,365 Actually, that drinks delivery guy was really cute, 980 00:42:21,365 --> 00:42:24,835 don't you think? - Uh... 981 00:42:24,835 --> 00:42:27,605 - Mom, are you listening to me? 982 00:42:27,605 --> 00:42:31,375 ♪ ♪ 983 00:42:31,375 --> 00:42:35,112 - So how is Linda wearing her hair to the party? 984 00:42:35,112 --> 00:42:36,647 - I'm not sure yet. 985 00:42:36,647 --> 00:42:38,883 She's gonna tell me at rummy tonight. 986 00:42:38,883 --> 00:42:40,284 - Oh. 987 00:42:40,284 --> 00:42:43,721 So you still playing rummy with that basic bitch? 988 00:42:44,722 --> 00:42:47,024 - Just a few of us. 989 00:42:47,024 --> 00:42:51,462 - I don't even like rummy, honestly, hm. 990 00:42:51,462 --> 00:42:54,164 - Mm-hmm. 991 00:42:55,699 --> 00:42:59,703 Uh, we look like giant Christmas gnomes. 992 00:42:59,703 --> 00:43:03,440 Did you--I mean, you really like it this way? 993 00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:07,678 - The holiday look in Paris. 994 00:43:07,678 --> 00:43:11,448 We must do it. [chuckles] 995 00:43:11,448 --> 00:43:14,285 - Mom, are you gonna be okay if you don't win this thing? 996 00:43:14,285 --> 00:43:16,887 - I just love this look. 997 00:43:16,887 --> 00:43:19,223 Huh? You say something? 998 00:43:19,223 --> 00:43:20,958 - I said you're gorgeous, 999 00:43:20,958 --> 00:43:22,760 and I'm so glad I look like you. 1000 00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:24,662 - No, you look like your dad. 1001 00:43:28,532 --> 00:43:31,669 - Yeah, well, now the hair's coming all the way down, baby. 1002 00:43:31,669 --> 00:43:34,238 Much better. 1003 00:43:34,238 --> 00:43:36,006 [sighs] 1004 00:43:36,006 --> 00:43:38,575 Dear KLDA listeners, Emily Harris here, 1005 00:43:38,575 --> 00:43:40,978 reporting live from the nightmare before Christmas. 1006 00:43:40,978 --> 00:43:44,315 Do I have what it takes to find my Christmas spirit 1007 00:43:44,315 --> 00:43:45,783 while working for my bully 1008 00:43:45,783 --> 00:43:48,218 and also wearing the world's worst hairstyle? 1009 00:43:48,218 --> 00:43:49,987 Stay tuned! 1010 00:43:52,189 --> 00:43:53,824 Let me just do that. 1011 00:43:55,626 --> 00:43:58,062 Was that always a fruitcake? 1012 00:44:01,532 --> 00:44:05,302 No, it used to be a bush. 1013 00:44:05,302 --> 00:44:10,207 Ginger, I'm reporting for work or whatever. 1014 00:44:11,742 --> 00:44:15,512 Ugh, a note. Okay. 1015 00:44:15,512 --> 00:44:18,449 - Hey, bitch! Sorry, had to close today. 1016 00:44:18,449 --> 00:44:20,818 Sexmergency. 1017 00:44:20,818 --> 00:44:23,053 Blame your spicy little friend 1018 00:44:23,053 --> 00:44:24,955 and his spicy cologne. 1019 00:44:24,955 --> 00:44:27,257 - Oh, girl, I'm pretty sure elves are asexual. 1020 00:44:27,257 --> 00:44:29,293 - I'm not with your friend, B-T-dubs. 1021 00:44:29,293 --> 00:44:31,996 Not yet. - Gross, come on, girl. 1022 00:44:31,996 --> 00:44:33,731 - Anyways, uh, take the day off. 1023 00:44:33,731 --> 00:44:36,100 It's Xmas Eve Eve. 1024 00:44:36,100 --> 00:44:38,635 See you at darts tonight, bitch. 1025 00:44:38,635 --> 00:44:41,205 - Christmas Eve Eve already? 1026 00:44:41,205 --> 00:44:43,207 God! 1027 00:44:43,207 --> 00:44:46,877 ♪ ♪ 1028 00:44:46,877 --> 00:44:50,814 "I wanna roast your chestnuts this Christmas." 1029 00:44:50,814 --> 00:44:54,151 I hate that that's so funny, but it is. 1030 00:44:54,151 --> 00:44:56,186 Ooh. 1031 00:44:56,186 --> 00:44:58,389 Hey, handsome. 1032 00:44:58,389 --> 00:45:01,058 Talk about a showstopper. 1033 00:45:01,058 --> 00:45:06,063 - ♪ And no guy in the world like mine ♪ 1034 00:45:06,063 --> 00:45:09,166 ♪ No way, I miss the nights by the fire ♪ 1035 00:45:09,166 --> 00:45:11,335 - Hi. 1036 00:45:11,335 --> 00:45:14,038 Just gonna... 1037 00:45:14,038 --> 00:45:16,306 Aw. 1038 00:45:16,306 --> 00:45:19,443 - ♪ And the city keep on moving ♪ 1039 00:45:19,443 --> 00:45:21,945 ♪ Last minute lovers like the movie ♪ 1040 00:45:21,945 --> 00:45:26,216 ♪ Gonna feel like Christmas, baby ♪ 1041 00:45:26,216 --> 00:45:27,584 ♪ ♪ 1042 00:45:27,584 --> 00:45:30,020 - He's got the mouth. [laughs] 1043 00:45:32,682 --> 00:45:34,450 - You playing rummy tonight too? 1044 00:45:34,450 --> 00:45:37,086 [laughs] 1045 00:45:37,086 --> 00:45:38,521 No problem. 1046 00:45:38,521 --> 00:45:40,256 Oh, I have plenty that I can do. 1047 00:45:40,256 --> 00:45:43,326 Listen, I'll just see you tomorrow at the party, okay? 1048 00:45:43,326 --> 00:45:44,861 Okay. 1049 00:45:44,861 --> 00:45:47,797 Oh! I can't stand her. 1050 00:45:47,797 --> 00:45:50,933 - Hey, Mom. - Oh, Emily. 1051 00:45:50,933 --> 00:45:52,468 Oh, I'm so glad you're here. 1052 00:45:52,468 --> 00:45:55,772 I want you to help me apply that gold leaf 1053 00:45:55,772 --> 00:45:57,373 to the nutcracker dolls. 1054 00:45:57,373 --> 00:45:58,875 - Yeah, I got you. 1055 00:45:58,875 --> 00:46:01,911 But actually, I wanted to show you something. 1056 00:46:01,911 --> 00:46:03,846 So I went down to the shop, 1057 00:46:03,846 --> 00:46:07,116 and I got you a bunch of, you know, really cute 1058 00:46:07,116 --> 00:46:09,318 but traditional ornaments. 1059 00:46:09,318 --> 00:46:11,788 But I think we both know that what you really need 1060 00:46:11,788 --> 00:46:14,057 is a showstopper. - Mm-hmm. 1061 00:46:14,057 --> 00:46:18,628 - So I found something that your girl Platinum over here 1062 00:46:18,628 --> 00:46:20,063 would really appreciate. 1063 00:46:20,063 --> 00:46:21,831 And I want to warn you, 1064 00:46:21,831 --> 00:46:23,800 it can be seen as a little edgy, 1065 00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:26,402 but edgy is in right now. 1066 00:46:26,402 --> 00:46:29,605 Trust me, so... 1067 00:46:29,605 --> 00:46:31,307 Bam! Isn't he cute? 1068 00:46:31,307 --> 00:46:33,409 He's a little merman! - Yeah. 1069 00:46:33,409 --> 00:46:35,578 - I was thinking that he would go great 1070 00:46:35,578 --> 00:46:36,913 right in that middle space, 1071 00:46:36,913 --> 00:46:39,415 right in the center of the tree. 1072 00:46:39,415 --> 00:46:41,284 - [laughs] 1073 00:46:42,418 --> 00:46:45,688 - Why don't you put all of these 1074 00:46:45,688 --> 00:46:48,458 on the tree in your daddy's office? 1075 00:46:50,193 --> 00:46:52,929 - Right, of course, the tree no one's gonna see. 1076 00:46:55,765 --> 00:46:59,602 Mom, do you think maybe you want to try the ornament? 1077 00:46:59,602 --> 00:47:00,970 It's really, really important. 1078 00:47:00,970 --> 00:47:05,374 - Baby, it's a bit edgy for the judges. 1079 00:47:05,374 --> 00:47:07,877 - Okay, but I'm asking you to try. 1080 00:47:07,877 --> 00:47:11,347 I'm trying. I'm try--Santa! 1081 00:47:11,347 --> 00:47:13,583 If your magical ears can hear me, 1082 00:47:13,583 --> 00:47:15,084 it's not working, so now what? 1083 00:47:15,084 --> 00:47:16,886 - What? What about Santa? 1084 00:47:16,886 --> 00:47:18,287 - Nothing! 1085 00:47:18,287 --> 00:47:21,290 - Did you ask that nice dentist to the party? 1086 00:47:21,290 --> 00:47:23,493 - Mom, I told you I don't want to go with him. 1087 00:47:23,493 --> 00:47:26,562 He sent me a lock of his hair. It's gross. 1088 00:47:26,562 --> 00:47:29,565 - Romantic. - Seriously? 1089 00:47:29,565 --> 00:47:31,567 - Baby, he's handsome. 1090 00:47:31,567 --> 00:47:34,137 He likes you. He's successful. 1091 00:47:34,137 --> 00:47:37,039 - You really don't care what I want, do you? 1092 00:47:37,039 --> 00:47:40,343 - I don't want to see you to end up alone. 1093 00:47:40,343 --> 00:47:42,779 - Now, why would I end up alone? 1094 00:47:43,946 --> 00:47:45,848 Because I'm not perfect? 1095 00:47:45,848 --> 00:47:48,251 Because I'm not you? - [chuckles] 1096 00:47:48,251 --> 00:47:50,853 - Is it how I act or how I look? 1097 00:47:50,853 --> 00:47:52,188 - No, I don't know. 1098 00:47:52,188 --> 00:47:53,756 - Oh, you don't want to talk about it, 1099 00:47:53,756 --> 00:47:55,625 but I'm just supposed to settle for someone I don't like 1100 00:47:55,625 --> 00:47:57,660 because girls that act like me and look like me 1101 00:47:57,660 --> 00:48:00,663 are supposed to settle? - No, not necessarily. 1102 00:48:00,663 --> 00:48:03,065 - Jesus, Mom, you-- 1103 00:48:03,065 --> 00:48:06,536 - Baby, I love you. 1104 00:48:06,536 --> 00:48:08,004 I love you. 1105 00:48:08,004 --> 00:48:09,605 Just, the world is-- 1106 00:48:09,605 --> 00:48:12,708 - Mom, I know how the world is, but you could be on my side. 1107 00:48:12,708 --> 00:48:14,076 - I am on your side! 1108 00:48:14,076 --> 00:48:15,378 - You think you're on my side 1109 00:48:15,378 --> 00:48:18,147 when you won't even hang up an ornament? 1110 00:48:19,782 --> 00:48:21,784 This is exactly why I don't talk to you. 1111 00:48:21,784 --> 00:48:25,621 It is--there's no point. 1112 00:48:25,621 --> 00:48:28,658 By the way, you probably wouldn't be alone all the time 1113 00:48:28,658 --> 00:48:31,594 if you didn't expect everybody and everything around you 1114 00:48:31,594 --> 00:48:33,029 to be perfect all the time! 1115 00:48:33,029 --> 00:48:35,097 Whatever it is that you think is perfect. 1116 00:48:35,097 --> 00:48:37,733 - Oh, young lady, you watch your tone! 1117 00:48:37,733 --> 00:48:39,702 You watch your--ooh! 1118 00:48:39,702 --> 00:48:42,038 - ♪ Have yourself ♪ 1119 00:48:42,038 --> 00:48:46,576 ♪ A merry little Christmas ♪ 1120 00:48:46,576 --> 00:48:48,177 ♪ ♪ 1121 00:48:48,177 --> 00:48:51,347 ♪ Let your heart be light ♪ 1122 00:48:51,347 --> 00:48:55,751 - This might go-- okay, that means ace, so-- 1123 00:48:55,751 --> 00:48:57,153 - [sighs] 1124 00:48:57,153 --> 00:48:59,922 - ♪ From now on ♪ 1125 00:48:59,922 --> 00:49:03,159 ♪ Our troubles will be out... ♪ 1126 00:49:03,159 --> 00:49:05,861 - Hey, gang, welcome to the annual 1127 00:49:05,861 --> 00:49:08,364 Bullseyes for Blitzen contest. 1128 00:49:08,364 --> 00:49:10,766 The first team to hit ten bullseyes 1129 00:49:10,766 --> 00:49:14,637 gets Blitzened on the house. 1130 00:49:14,637 --> 00:49:16,939 [cheers and applause] 1131 00:49:16,939 --> 00:49:20,343 - Oh, my God, it's the snowman. - What? 1132 00:49:20,343 --> 00:49:23,913 - The bartender's last name is Snowmyn. 1133 00:49:23,913 --> 00:49:27,717 - Oh, he is cute. You like him? 1134 00:49:27,717 --> 00:49:29,151 You should go chat him up. 1135 00:49:29,151 --> 00:49:33,256 Maybe, um, nibble his carrots if you know what I mean. 1136 00:49:33,256 --> 00:49:35,258 - I don't. Can you explain it in detail? 1137 00:49:35,258 --> 00:49:37,026 - You know, like his-- - Bullseye Candy? 1138 00:49:37,026 --> 00:49:38,861 Bullseye Candy? 1139 00:49:38,861 --> 00:49:41,030 - Yeah. 1140 00:49:41,030 --> 00:49:43,499 Bullseye Candy. - That's us. 1141 00:49:43,499 --> 00:49:45,701 - Yo, we got this. 1142 00:49:45,701 --> 00:49:47,637 Boom! 1143 00:49:47,637 --> 00:49:49,272 both: ♪ Bullseye Candy ♪ 1144 00:49:49,272 --> 00:49:51,240 ♪ Bullseye Candy ♪ 1145 00:49:51,240 --> 00:49:54,010 - ♪ Bullseye Candy, get out of the way ♪ 1146 00:49:54,010 --> 00:49:55,778 - Excuse us! 1147 00:49:55,778 --> 00:49:58,481 Excuse us! Move out of the way. 1148 00:49:58,481 --> 00:49:59,448 Okay. 1149 00:49:59,448 --> 00:50:01,050 [together] One, two, three. 1150 00:50:01,050 --> 00:50:02,985 [upbeat music] 1151 00:50:02,985 --> 00:50:05,087 - Oh, well. 1152 00:50:05,087 --> 00:50:07,290 We'll get 'em next year. 1153 00:50:07,290 --> 00:50:09,025 - I'm sorry, that was embarrassing. 1154 00:50:09,025 --> 00:50:11,160 I'm a little rusty. 1155 00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:12,561 - Yeah, that was weird. 1156 00:50:12,561 --> 00:50:14,330 Normally, you're like a total bullseye bitch. 1157 00:50:14,330 --> 00:50:16,365 - I am? - Yeah! 1158 00:50:16,365 --> 00:50:17,867 - Cool. 1159 00:50:17,867 --> 00:50:19,135 - I think I'm gonna go for it 1160 00:50:19,135 --> 00:50:22,104 with your, uh, cinnamon friend. 1161 00:50:22,104 --> 00:50:24,507 If you don't mind. - No, no, no, no. 1162 00:50:24,507 --> 00:50:26,008 I definitely don't mind. 1163 00:50:26,008 --> 00:50:28,811 Um, full disclosure, he might not be into you. 1164 00:50:28,811 --> 00:50:30,146 But you know. 1165 00:50:30,146 --> 00:50:31,447 - Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. 1166 00:50:31,447 --> 00:50:33,082 Yeah, I'm definitely gonna make my move then. 1167 00:50:33,082 --> 00:50:35,451 - You're not scared? - No! 1168 00:50:35,451 --> 00:50:38,621 I mean, I've made a fool of myself like a million times. 1169 00:50:38,621 --> 00:50:39,822 I mean, you know. 1170 00:50:39,822 --> 00:50:42,625 - You've always been really ballsy. 1171 00:50:42,625 --> 00:50:44,327 I've always envied that about you. 1172 00:50:44,327 --> 00:50:45,594 - Thank you very much. 1173 00:50:45,594 --> 00:50:48,064 I mean, I'd rather just know. You know? 1174 00:50:48,064 --> 00:50:49,932 You got to go after what you want. 1175 00:50:49,932 --> 00:50:51,600 Be bold. 1176 00:50:51,600 --> 00:50:53,369 Like, uh... 1177 00:50:53,369 --> 00:50:56,539 [upbeat hip-hop music] 1178 00:50:56,539 --> 00:51:00,643 ♪ ♪ 1179 00:51:00,643 --> 00:51:03,612 - Look, it's crazy snowman girl. 1180 00:51:03,612 --> 00:51:05,414 - Oh. 1181 00:51:05,414 --> 00:51:07,583 You remember that. - Mm-hmm. 1182 00:51:07,583 --> 00:51:09,085 - [laughs] Hi. 1183 00:51:09,085 --> 00:51:11,420 I'm sorry about that. 1184 00:51:11,420 --> 00:51:13,456 I thought you were someone else, 1185 00:51:13,456 --> 00:51:15,825 but I was wrong. 1186 00:51:15,825 --> 00:51:17,693 So who are you? 1187 00:51:19,095 --> 00:51:20,696 - I'm Wyatt Snowmyn. 1188 00:51:20,696 --> 00:51:25,267 Age 31, Scorpio, Leo moon rising, obviously. 1189 00:51:25,267 --> 00:51:27,903 Originally of Glen Ridge, New Jersey. 1190 00:51:27,903 --> 00:51:30,539 Go Panthers. 1191 00:51:30,539 --> 00:51:32,274 Currently residing in Manhattan. 1192 00:51:32,274 --> 00:51:35,277 Part owner of a few bars, including this little gem 1193 00:51:35,277 --> 00:51:36,846 in the old hometown. 1194 00:51:36,846 --> 00:51:39,682 - Okay, so I stopped listening after you said Scorpio 1195 00:51:39,682 --> 00:51:41,784 because I know that Scorpios are kinky. 1196 00:51:41,784 --> 00:51:43,386 - Oh, yeah? - And uh-- 1197 00:51:43,386 --> 00:51:44,954 - Sting. 1198 00:51:44,954 --> 00:51:46,555 - I'm kidding. 1199 00:51:46,555 --> 00:51:49,125 I'm--it's nice to meet you, Wyatt. 1200 00:51:49,125 --> 00:51:50,960 I'm Emily. 1201 00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:53,496 I don't think I gave you my name. 1202 00:51:53,496 --> 00:51:56,699 - No, you were definitely too busy yelling at me. 1203 00:51:56,699 --> 00:52:00,202 - Oh, you didn't like that? - Oh, well, eh. 1204 00:52:00,202 --> 00:52:02,705 Hmm. - Because you're welcome. 1205 00:52:02,705 --> 00:52:04,607 [both laugh] 1206 00:52:04,607 --> 00:52:05,975 Scorpios love that. 1207 00:52:05,975 --> 00:52:07,042 - Yeah, I can take a little abuse. 1208 00:52:07,042 --> 00:52:08,244 - Yeah. [laughs] 1209 00:52:08,244 --> 00:52:11,347 - Okay, you know what? Here. 1210 00:52:11,347 --> 00:52:15,684 Emily, for you and your friend. 1211 00:52:17,319 --> 00:52:18,921 Boom. - Okay. 1212 00:52:18,921 --> 00:52:20,790 - Yeah. - For free? 1213 00:52:20,790 --> 00:52:21,757 - Yes. - Okay. 1214 00:52:21,757 --> 00:52:23,426 - No charge. 1215 00:52:23,426 --> 00:52:26,495 - Your tip is that you get to watch me walk away. 1216 00:52:26,495 --> 00:52:27,997 - Oof! 1217 00:52:27,997 --> 00:52:30,166 This is better than 20%. 1218 00:52:30,166 --> 00:52:32,368 Whew! - Check this out. 1219 00:52:32,368 --> 00:52:33,702 [laughs] - Mm, thank you. 1220 00:52:36,872 --> 00:52:38,341 - Okay, so I'll get a glass of this Sancerre to start. 1221 00:52:38,341 --> 00:52:40,943 - Very good. Will anyone be joining you? 1222 00:52:40,943 --> 00:52:43,646 - Nope! Just a little me time. 1223 00:52:43,646 --> 00:52:46,449 You know, I don't get a lot of me time. 1224 00:52:46,449 --> 00:52:49,552 So this is extremely exciting. 1225 00:52:49,552 --> 00:52:51,487 - Oh, very good. 1226 00:52:51,487 --> 00:52:53,489 - Yeah. You been working here long? 1227 00:52:53,489 --> 00:52:54,991 - Two years. - Two years! 1228 00:52:54,991 --> 00:52:56,626 Oh, very nice. 1229 00:52:56,626 --> 00:52:58,194 So-- - I'll bring you that Sancerre. 1230 00:52:58,194 --> 00:53:02,064 - But--oh, okay. 1231 00:53:02,064 --> 00:53:04,433 - Sancerre. - Yes. 1232 00:53:04,433 --> 00:53:06,802 - It's my favorite. - Good taste. 1233 00:53:06,802 --> 00:53:08,104 - You too. 1234 00:53:08,104 --> 00:53:11,073 - It might sound crazy, but be my guest. 1235 00:53:11,073 --> 00:53:12,541 - You know what? 1236 00:53:12,541 --> 00:53:14,744 I was hoping that you would say something like that. 1237 00:53:14,744 --> 00:53:16,245 - Oh! - Yeah. 1238 00:53:16,245 --> 00:53:18,147 - Oh. - Yeah. 1239 00:53:18,147 --> 00:53:20,650 [soft music] 1240 00:53:20,650 --> 00:53:25,021 - Yeah! Entertaining nonetheless. 1241 00:53:25,021 --> 00:53:26,956 - Oh, my God, that is disgusting. 1242 00:53:26,956 --> 00:53:28,357 - It's getting mintier, I swear. 1243 00:53:28,357 --> 00:53:30,026 - So creamy. Let's get another one. 1244 00:53:30,026 --> 00:53:32,194 - Okay, I'm in charge of the-- 1245 00:53:32,194 --> 00:53:33,396 I'll get the-- 1246 00:53:33,396 --> 00:53:36,198 - Yes you are! He totally likes you. 1247 00:53:36,198 --> 00:53:38,668 - No! - Yes! 1248 00:53:38,668 --> 00:53:40,136 - No, no, he doesn't. 1249 00:53:40,136 --> 00:53:41,604 He's, uh--no. 1250 00:53:41,604 --> 00:53:44,106 - He's been comping your drinks all night. 1251 00:53:44,106 --> 00:53:45,307 - It's like, why would he be into me? 1252 00:53:45,307 --> 00:53:46,842 - Why wouldn't he be into you? 1253 00:53:46,842 --> 00:53:48,477 - Well, because he looks like he's from, 1254 00:53:48,477 --> 00:53:51,113 like, a J.Crew, like, ar--oh. 1255 00:53:51,113 --> 00:53:53,482 - Oh, my God, Chet Charles? 1256 00:53:53,482 --> 00:53:55,985 - What are you-- - What are you doing? 1257 00:53:55,985 --> 00:53:58,387 - ♪ I really can't stay ♪ 1258 00:53:58,387 --> 00:54:01,557 ♪ Baby, it's cold outside ♪ 1259 00:54:01,557 --> 00:54:07,463 ♪ I gotta get away 'cause, baby, it's cold outside ♪ 1260 00:54:07,463 --> 00:54:09,298 - All right, it's done, so-- 1261 00:54:09,298 --> 00:54:11,500 - Your mom told me that you wanted me to be your date 1262 00:54:11,500 --> 00:54:12,935 for the Christmas Eve party. 1263 00:54:12,935 --> 00:54:14,103 - Okay, but I didn't actually-- 1264 00:54:14,103 --> 00:54:15,571 - And I have never been more honored 1265 00:54:15,571 --> 00:54:17,840 by anything in my entire life. 1266 00:54:17,840 --> 00:54:19,742 So I obviously accept. 1267 00:54:19,742 --> 00:54:22,244 - Oh, no, no, no, I'm not--I didn't-- 1268 00:54:22,244 --> 00:54:23,913 - I got you something. 1269 00:54:23,913 --> 00:54:25,548 - This is a misunder-- this is a Christmas adventure, 1270 00:54:25,548 --> 00:54:29,018 and I wrote a-- it's a San--uh, mm. 1271 00:54:29,018 --> 00:54:31,087 Okay, okay. 1272 00:54:31,087 --> 00:54:33,089 - I'll see you tomorrow. 1273 00:54:33,089 --> 00:54:35,224 - Probably not. 1274 00:54:35,224 --> 00:54:39,161 Don't show up because I don't--oh. 1275 00:54:39,161 --> 00:54:42,832 Oh, no, is that chair fruitcake? 1276 00:54:42,832 --> 00:54:45,134 - Oh, my God. 1277 00:54:45,134 --> 00:54:49,472 You sneaky little hussy! 1278 00:54:49,472 --> 00:54:52,508 Are you and Chet Charles a thing? 1279 00:54:52,508 --> 00:54:54,376 - No, we are not-- no, no, no, no, no. 1280 00:54:54,376 --> 00:54:55,845 We're not a thing, me and Chet. 1281 00:54:55,845 --> 00:54:57,012 No, no, we're not. 1282 00:54:57,012 --> 00:54:58,681 Stop, stop, stop scissoring yourself. 1283 00:54:58,681 --> 00:55:03,786 Actually, um, I think that my mom is more interested 1284 00:55:03,786 --> 00:55:06,322 like, actually interested in him for me, 1285 00:55:06,322 --> 00:55:08,791 but I'm definitely not interested in him. 1286 00:55:08,791 --> 00:55:11,093 That's not the guy for me or anything like that. 1287 00:55:11,093 --> 00:55:12,795 - Okay, Em, you're, like, 1288 00:55:12,795 --> 00:55:15,431 really yelling this out loud right now. 1289 00:55:15,431 --> 00:55:19,568 - I just wanted to make sure everybody gets the point 1290 00:55:19,568 --> 00:55:22,738 about my personal feeling. 1291 00:55:22,738 --> 00:55:24,373 [both laughing] 1292 00:55:24,373 --> 00:55:26,342 - That's funny. That's funny. 1293 00:55:26,342 --> 00:55:28,511 Look, look. 1294 00:55:28,511 --> 00:55:31,413 Lorraine, can I be honest with you? 1295 00:55:31,413 --> 00:55:33,816 - Yes, if you let me wear the hat. 1296 00:55:33,816 --> 00:55:35,151 - Oh, okay! 1297 00:55:35,151 --> 00:55:39,321 Here you go. Ooh! 1298 00:55:39,321 --> 00:55:41,257 Oh! - I like. 1299 00:55:41,257 --> 00:55:42,725 I like! - Looks nice on you. 1300 00:55:42,725 --> 00:55:44,860 - You like it? 1301 00:55:44,860 --> 00:55:47,863 - Okay, but don't take this the wrong way, 1302 00:55:47,863 --> 00:55:51,167 but you're not really a good listener. 1303 00:55:51,167 --> 00:55:52,868 - Mm-hmm. 1304 00:55:52,868 --> 00:55:57,573 But what if I know better for the people than they do? 1305 00:55:57,573 --> 00:55:59,441 What if I know what's better for them? 1306 00:55:59,441 --> 00:56:00,976 - Look, put your hands out. Come here. 1307 00:56:00,976 --> 00:56:02,478 - I put my hands out? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1308 00:56:02,478 --> 00:56:03,879 Like this. - Oh, okay. 1309 00:56:03,879 --> 00:56:05,181 - Hold mine, okay. 1310 00:56:05,181 --> 00:56:07,483 Repeat after me. 1311 00:56:07,483 --> 00:56:10,319 Sometimes, my opinions are wrong. 1312 00:56:10,319 --> 00:56:13,289 - Mm. 1313 00:56:13,289 --> 00:56:15,724 Sometimes, my opinions are wrong. 1314 00:56:15,724 --> 00:56:20,529 - And sometimes, I hurt people and myself when I judge them. 1315 00:56:20,529 --> 00:56:23,899 - Sometimes, I hurt people and myself when I judge them. 1316 00:56:23,899 --> 00:56:25,301 - Mm-hmm. 1317 00:56:25,301 --> 00:56:26,969 - Okay. 1318 00:56:26,969 --> 00:56:29,138 - Yeah, and I need to be a better listener, 1319 00:56:29,138 --> 00:56:33,342 and I need to be more supportive of my daughter. 1320 00:56:33,342 --> 00:56:35,244 - You got a daughter? 1321 00:56:35,244 --> 00:56:39,114 - No, that one was for you. 1322 00:56:39,114 --> 00:56:41,584 - Oh. - See what I'm saying? 1323 00:56:41,584 --> 00:56:43,686 - Uh-huh. - Yeah. 1324 00:56:43,686 --> 00:56:44,954 - I see you. 1325 00:56:44,954 --> 00:56:46,956 - Did you get what I was saying, though? 1326 00:56:46,956 --> 00:56:48,657 You understood? 1327 00:56:48,657 --> 00:56:52,928 - I'm--my daughter-- [laughs] 1328 00:56:52,928 --> 00:56:55,497 Whew! She's just like her father. 1329 00:56:55,497 --> 00:56:57,099 - Okay. - You know what I'm saying? 1330 00:56:57,099 --> 00:56:58,601 - Right. 1331 00:56:58,601 --> 00:57:00,436 - That's all I got to say about it. 1332 00:57:00,436 --> 00:57:02,771 And I was-- 1333 00:57:02,771 --> 00:57:05,941 I need to be more supportive and listen. 1334 00:57:05,941 --> 00:57:07,409 - Mm-hmm. 1335 00:57:07,409 --> 00:57:09,144 - I can do that. - You can do that? 1336 00:57:09,144 --> 00:57:10,546 - Mm-hmm. - Okay! 1337 00:57:10,546 --> 00:57:12,514 All right. - Yes, I can. 1338 00:57:12,514 --> 00:57:14,583 - Cool! You enjoying that Sancerre? 1339 00:57:14,583 --> 00:57:17,052 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. 1340 00:57:17,052 --> 00:57:20,122 It's good, ain't it? 1341 00:57:20,122 --> 00:57:22,925 It's that bubbly. - [laughs] 1342 00:57:22,925 --> 00:57:24,860 It is good! 1343 00:57:24,860 --> 00:57:26,595 - Do you remember when we were-- 1344 00:57:26,595 --> 00:57:27,830 we had to do the Christmas show? 1345 00:57:27,830 --> 00:57:28,998 - Mm-hmm. 1346 00:57:28,998 --> 00:57:31,100 - And you, like, dumped me as a friend, 1347 00:57:31,100 --> 00:57:33,535 and then you started saying really mean things about me 1348 00:57:33,535 --> 00:57:34,937 to like, the whole school. 1349 00:57:34,937 --> 00:57:36,238 Do you remember that? 1350 00:57:36,238 --> 00:57:38,641 - I didn't--no, no! 1351 00:57:38,641 --> 00:57:41,877 I don't remember--but wait. Yo, where are those shots? 1352 00:57:43,712 --> 00:57:46,482 - No, yeah, why would you--okay. 1353 00:57:46,482 --> 00:57:48,417 So I do remember, though. - Yeah. 1354 00:57:48,417 --> 00:57:51,687 - And it was like a nightmare for me, honestly. 1355 00:57:51,687 --> 00:57:54,123 And it just was really weird for me, 1356 00:57:54,123 --> 00:57:56,692 because you went from, like, being my best friend 1357 00:57:56,692 --> 00:57:59,061 in the whole world to, like, then being my bully. 1358 00:57:59,061 --> 00:58:02,865 And it really--it, like, messed me up, honestly, then, 1359 00:58:02,865 --> 00:58:05,200 and I kind of feel like it still messes me up now. 1360 00:58:05,200 --> 00:58:07,069 - Yeah, dude, but what are you talking about? 1361 00:58:07,069 --> 00:58:08,370 We were kids. 1362 00:58:08,370 --> 00:58:09,672 It's like a bajillion years ago. 1363 00:58:09,672 --> 00:58:12,207 Come on! Come on, we're past that. 1364 00:58:12,207 --> 00:58:13,776 - Yeah? - We're good. 1365 00:58:13,776 --> 00:58:15,010 - Like, I'm already really embarrassed, 1366 00:58:15,010 --> 00:58:16,412 and I feel like the queen of idiots-- 1367 00:58:16,412 --> 00:58:18,514 - ♪ It's a celebration ♪ 1368 00:58:18,514 --> 00:58:23,585 - Oh, oh, oh! It's jam time! 1369 00:58:23,585 --> 00:58:27,389 Get your ears out because we about to party! 1370 00:58:27,389 --> 00:58:32,194 - ♪ So, baby, don't you stop dancing with me ♪ 1371 00:58:32,194 --> 00:58:35,965 ♪ Holiday, holiday, holiday, holiday, holiday ♪ 1372 00:58:35,965 --> 00:58:38,734 ♪ Holiday, holiday, holiday, holiday ♪ 1373 00:58:38,734 --> 00:58:41,570 ♪ Holiday, holiday, holiday ♪ 1374 00:58:41,570 --> 00:58:46,108 ♪ So, baby, don't you stop ♪ 1375 00:58:46,108 --> 00:58:50,079 - ♪ Let me hear you say, I'm ready for the holiday ♪ 1376 00:58:50,079 --> 00:58:53,816 ♪ Call the family up, tell 'em we're on our way ♪ 1377 00:58:53,816 --> 00:58:55,884 ♪ Trying to party 'cause we're going crazy ♪ 1378 00:58:55,884 --> 00:58:57,853 - Um... 1379 00:58:57,853 --> 00:58:59,788 God, you told me so much about you, 1380 00:58:59,788 --> 00:59:02,691 but you did not tell me how great you were at miming. 1381 00:59:02,691 --> 00:59:05,561 - Oh, it is one of my finest skills, milady. 1382 00:59:05,561 --> 00:59:08,497 - Well, that's very clear. 1383 00:59:10,132 --> 00:59:14,903 Oh, you might know the answer to this. 1384 00:59:14,903 --> 00:59:16,605 Like, okay. 1385 00:59:16,605 --> 00:59:19,508 What is the mime for, 1386 00:59:19,508 --> 00:59:22,711 "I want to kiss you"? 1387 00:59:25,247 --> 00:59:27,016 - Wow, uh. 1388 00:59:27,016 --> 00:59:28,617 Okay, well, I uh-- 1389 00:59:28,617 --> 00:59:30,452 I think it's just, 1390 00:59:30,452 --> 00:59:32,154 lean in 1391 00:59:32,154 --> 00:59:35,491 and purse your lips, 1392 00:59:35,491 --> 00:59:37,593 and you close your eyes. 1393 00:59:45,234 --> 00:59:47,236 - Good to know. Thank you. 1394 00:59:47,236 --> 00:59:48,237 Thanks for telling me. 1395 00:59:48,237 --> 00:59:50,939 That's, uh, maybe I'll-- 1396 00:59:50,939 --> 00:59:53,442 I'm gonna--I should get her home because she's drunk. 1397 00:59:53,442 --> 00:59:55,277 - Totally cool, yeah. - Yeah, hey! 1398 00:59:55,277 --> 00:59:58,180 Ginger, get-- - What? 1399 00:59:58,180 --> 01:00:00,849 - All right, stop dancing! 1400 01:00:03,085 --> 01:00:06,555 [imitates radio jingle] 1401 01:00:06,555 --> 01:00:11,126 Well, KLDA Nation, I choked again. 1402 01:00:11,126 --> 01:00:15,564 I have no idea what I'm writing to Santa tomorrow, 1403 01:00:15,564 --> 01:00:17,833 and I'm gonna be stuck here 1404 01:00:17,833 --> 01:00:21,470 in a world made entirely of fruitcake. 1405 01:00:21,470 --> 01:00:25,908 [imitates airhorn] 1406 01:00:28,710 --> 01:00:32,648 "I think this one looks nice here after all." 1407 01:00:35,184 --> 01:00:38,053 Aw, Mom. 1408 01:00:39,588 --> 01:00:41,557 [sighs] 1409 01:00:41,557 --> 01:00:44,860 That's so nice. 1410 01:00:44,860 --> 01:00:48,030 ["Joy to the World" playing] 1411 01:00:48,030 --> 01:00:54,937 ♪ ♪ 1412 01:00:56,038 --> 01:00:57,573 - Good morning. 1413 01:00:57,573 --> 01:01:01,276 - Is it? But I am glad you're up. 1414 01:01:01,276 --> 01:01:02,611 - Thank you. 1415 01:01:02,611 --> 01:01:04,279 I was really glad to get your note last night. 1416 01:01:04,279 --> 01:01:05,848 That ornament is super cute. 1417 01:01:05,848 --> 01:01:09,318 - You know, I have been thinking about that. 1418 01:01:09,318 --> 01:01:10,752 It should go in the back 1419 01:01:10,752 --> 01:01:14,523 because it does not fit my vision. 1420 01:01:14,523 --> 01:01:16,425 - Okay. Well, it's no use. 1421 01:01:16,425 --> 01:01:17,893 How can I be helpful? 1422 01:01:17,893 --> 01:01:20,629 - Well, I have to spray paint the banister gold, 1423 01:01:20,629 --> 01:01:22,598 then I have to go and set up a meeting 1424 01:01:22,598 --> 01:01:25,400 with that incompetent bartender about what 1425 01:01:25,400 --> 01:01:27,336 our signature cocktail... - Oh, I'll settle that. 1426 01:01:27,336 --> 01:01:29,538 - Is going to be, and--Emily? 1427 01:01:29,538 --> 01:01:32,541 [upbeat music] 1428 01:01:32,541 --> 01:01:34,977 ♪ ♪ 1429 01:01:34,977 --> 01:01:37,412 - Way to grab the reindeer by the antlers. 1430 01:01:37,412 --> 01:01:40,449 I might have a shot at this. 1431 01:01:40,449 --> 01:01:42,417 Six hours to midnight? 1432 01:01:42,417 --> 01:01:45,687 [bell dings] 1433 01:01:45,687 --> 01:01:48,190 - Okay, people. 1434 01:01:48,190 --> 01:01:51,827 The judges will be here at 7:00 sharp, 1435 01:01:51,827 --> 01:01:55,264 and I want everyone to be whistling Christmas 1436 01:01:55,264 --> 01:01:58,267 out of their buttholes when they get here. 1437 01:01:58,267 --> 01:01:59,835 Excuse my French. 1438 01:01:59,835 --> 01:02:02,337 - Uh, who is this woman? 1439 01:02:02,337 --> 01:02:04,540 - That's the competition. 1440 01:02:04,540 --> 01:02:05,941 You can let her in the house, 1441 01:02:05,941 --> 01:02:08,544 you can serve her cocktails and canapés, 1442 01:02:08,544 --> 01:02:11,680 but do not let her touch my trees. 1443 01:02:11,680 --> 01:02:13,782 If she comes within 1444 01:02:13,782 --> 01:02:19,021 a 3-foot radius of my trees... 1445 01:02:19,021 --> 01:02:21,857 Then you have my permission to use force. 1446 01:02:21,857 --> 01:02:23,625 - Yeah. - That's crazy. 1447 01:02:23,625 --> 01:02:25,561 Uh, look. You need to talk to your mama. 1448 01:02:25,561 --> 01:02:26,895 You are running out of time. 1449 01:02:26,895 --> 01:02:28,597 - Does she look like someone who's capable 1450 01:02:28,597 --> 01:02:30,098 of being talked to? 1451 01:02:30,098 --> 01:02:33,302 She's not gonna change, okay? She's who she is. 1452 01:02:33,302 --> 01:02:35,637 I have a few questions about Wyatt, though. 1453 01:02:35,637 --> 01:02:37,139 - Uh, look. 1454 01:02:37,139 --> 01:02:39,041 She might be more ready to change than you think. 1455 01:02:39,041 --> 01:02:41,777 - Mm, absolutely not. Impossible. 1456 01:02:41,777 --> 01:02:43,245 Here's my question, though. - Okay. 1457 01:02:43,245 --> 01:02:45,380 - Like, let's say I do write this letter to Santa 1458 01:02:45,380 --> 01:02:46,949 tomorrow, right? 1459 01:02:46,949 --> 01:02:48,784 Okay, so like, then what happens back in the real world? 1460 01:02:48,784 --> 01:02:49,918 Like, does my mom become normal? 1461 01:02:49,918 --> 01:02:51,787 Do I stand up to Ginger? 1462 01:02:51,787 --> 01:02:54,790 Does, like-- will I be able to find Wyatt? 1463 01:02:54,790 --> 01:02:57,859 Like, what exactly is the black magic we're working with here? 1464 01:02:57,859 --> 01:02:59,228 - Okay, okay, look, look. 1465 01:02:59,228 --> 01:03:01,363 You found him before, you can find him again. 1466 01:03:01,363 --> 01:03:03,065 And Ginger might surprise you. 1467 01:03:03,065 --> 01:03:04,700 And your mom, for that matter. 1468 01:03:04,700 --> 01:03:06,368 - All right, you're just saying that to save your own ass. 1469 01:03:06,368 --> 01:03:07,836 - No, no, no. 1470 01:03:07,836 --> 01:03:09,171 I'm saying it because I care about you, all right? 1471 01:03:09,171 --> 01:03:11,540 And I'm pretty sure that lady's hair 1472 01:03:11,540 --> 01:03:13,609 was not made out of fruitcake. 1473 01:03:13,609 --> 01:03:16,111 - Oh, damn, it's spreading. - Yeah. 1474 01:03:16,111 --> 01:03:17,813 - Look, I got to go finish getting ready. 1475 01:03:17,813 --> 01:03:19,414 Lorraine is gonna blow a gasket 1476 01:03:19,414 --> 01:03:21,617 if I'm not "picture-perfect by the time the judges get here." 1477 01:03:21,617 --> 01:03:23,785 I just don't think any of this makes any sense to do. 1478 01:03:23,785 --> 01:03:25,487 It's not worth it. - Damn it! 1479 01:03:25,487 --> 01:03:27,623 Thought I was getting through to these people. 1480 01:03:27,623 --> 01:03:29,725 Oh, humans! 1481 01:03:29,725 --> 01:03:32,227 [slurping] 1482 01:03:32,227 --> 01:03:35,664 ♪ ♪ 1483 01:03:35,664 --> 01:03:38,367 - [sighs quietly] 1484 01:03:48,310 --> 01:03:49,778 Enough. 1485 01:03:54,483 --> 01:03:58,720 - ♪ Joy to the world, the Lord is come ♪ 1486 01:03:58,720 --> 01:04:03,192 ♪ Let Earth receive her King ♪ 1487 01:04:03,192 --> 01:04:07,763 ♪ Let every heart prepare Him room ♪ 1488 01:04:07,763 --> 01:04:09,898 - Sure. 1489 01:04:09,898 --> 01:04:13,402 - ♪ Let heaven and nature sing ♪ 1490 01:04:13,402 --> 01:04:16,138 - Linda! - Lorraine. 1491 01:04:16,138 --> 01:04:18,807 - You remember my successful, 1492 01:04:18,807 --> 01:04:21,743 high SAT scoring daughter, Emily? 1493 01:04:21,743 --> 01:04:23,912 - Of course. Nice to see you, Emily. 1494 01:04:23,912 --> 01:04:25,481 I love your dress. 1495 01:04:25,481 --> 01:04:28,550 - Thank you so much! It's actually my favorite. 1496 01:04:28,550 --> 01:04:30,519 - [chuckles] - Oh. 1497 01:04:30,519 --> 01:04:32,888 - Unfortunately, my daughter couldn't make it. 1498 01:04:32,888 --> 01:04:36,425 She's on duty again in the Congo. 1499 01:04:36,425 --> 01:04:38,727 Doctors Without Borders. 1500 01:04:38,727 --> 01:04:40,696 Such noble work. 1501 01:04:40,696 --> 01:04:43,265 Yes, she's a doctor. - Thank the Lord. 1502 01:04:43,265 --> 01:04:45,767 My daughter is dating a dentist. 1503 01:04:45,767 --> 01:04:47,302 - Wow. 1504 01:04:47,302 --> 01:04:50,939 Mom, I'm actually not gonna do this with you tonight. 1505 01:04:50,939 --> 01:04:53,909 Linda, good luck tonight. 1506 01:04:55,777 --> 01:04:57,946 - My baby has jokes. 1507 01:04:59,548 --> 01:05:01,884 - Oh, oh! 1508 01:05:01,884 --> 01:05:04,453 Oh, you must be so proud of your mom. 1509 01:05:04,453 --> 01:05:06,054 What a perfect family. 1510 01:05:06,054 --> 01:05:07,689 - We're announcing the winner tomorrow, 1511 01:05:07,689 --> 01:05:09,291 and I'm sure you'll be pleased. 1512 01:05:09,291 --> 01:05:11,226 - Thank you. Thank you very much. 1513 01:05:11,226 --> 01:05:12,594 Have a good day. 1514 01:05:12,594 --> 01:05:15,397 Honey, why don't you take a picture with Santa? 1515 01:05:15,397 --> 01:05:17,099 - All right. 1516 01:05:17,099 --> 01:05:19,635 - What are you asking Santa for, little missy? 1517 01:05:19,635 --> 01:05:21,036 - I don't know. I don't know. 1518 01:05:21,036 --> 01:05:22,404 Just take--can you take-- - Okay, baby. 1519 01:05:22,404 --> 01:05:24,573 Here we go. Thank you, darling. 1520 01:05:24,573 --> 01:05:26,074 It's so perfect. 1521 01:05:26,074 --> 01:05:29,411 - Okay, all right, all right, all right. 1522 01:05:29,411 --> 01:05:31,013 - Why you touch my girl like that? 1523 01:05:31,013 --> 01:05:32,581 - I didn't touch her. 1524 01:05:32,581 --> 01:05:34,316 I just leaned a little bit, and you took a picture. 1525 01:05:34,316 --> 01:05:36,118 - I took a-- I took a picture. 1526 01:05:36,118 --> 01:05:37,452 Get your ass in there, go to work. 1527 01:05:37,452 --> 01:05:38,854 What's the matter with you? Took a picture. 1528 01:05:38,854 --> 01:05:39,988 If you touch another woman here today, 1529 01:05:39,988 --> 01:05:41,957 I'ma kick your ass. 1530 01:05:46,662 --> 01:05:49,398 - Emily. 1531 01:05:49,398 --> 01:05:52,167 Try to leave some canapés for the guests. 1532 01:05:52,167 --> 01:05:54,703 It's not like you have much room 1533 01:05:54,703 --> 01:05:57,205 to breathe in that dress. 1534 01:05:57,205 --> 01:05:59,541 Heaven forbid you listen to me once. 1535 01:05:59,541 --> 01:06:01,543 Did you even try the red one? 1536 01:06:01,543 --> 01:06:03,512 - I'm so sorry, I have-- 1537 01:06:03,512 --> 01:06:05,847 - Ugh! - Thank you! 1538 01:06:12,621 --> 01:06:15,223 - Hello, my love. 1539 01:06:15,223 --> 01:06:17,459 - Oh, you must be kidding me. 1540 01:06:17,459 --> 01:06:20,495 - Oh, I would never joke about something as pure and natural 1541 01:06:20,495 --> 01:06:21,997 as my devotion for you. 1542 01:06:21,997 --> 01:06:23,932 I brought you this. 1543 01:06:23,932 --> 01:06:26,034 May I feed it to you like the goddess you are? 1544 01:06:26,034 --> 01:06:29,471 - Don't worry about it because you're about to go! 1545 01:06:29,471 --> 01:06:31,773 I said goodbye! 1546 01:06:31,773 --> 01:06:35,143 I said--what if I--good day! 1547 01:06:36,612 --> 01:06:38,413 Thank you. Thanks for this. 1548 01:06:38,413 --> 01:06:39,514 That's sweet. 1549 01:06:39,514 --> 01:06:41,683 - Portrait time! 1550 01:06:41,683 --> 01:06:44,886 [indistinct chatter] 1551 01:06:44,886 --> 01:06:46,588 Portrait time! 1552 01:06:46,588 --> 01:06:48,223 [indistinct chatter] 1553 01:06:48,223 --> 01:06:49,791 Come on. 1554 01:06:52,794 --> 01:06:54,796 - Okay. 1555 01:06:54,796 --> 01:06:57,332 You ready? 1556 01:06:57,332 --> 01:06:59,701 - Yeah. Something is not right. 1557 01:06:59,701 --> 01:07:02,070 - It's the dress isn't it? 1558 01:07:02,070 --> 01:07:04,072 Baby, why don't you just go up and change? 1559 01:07:04,072 --> 01:07:06,742 - Do I just disgust you, or is there anything 1560 01:07:06,742 --> 01:07:08,877 you actually like about me? 1561 01:07:08,877 --> 01:07:11,146 No, no nogtinis! 1562 01:07:11,146 --> 01:07:12,881 - Lower your voice. Everyone's watching. 1563 01:07:12,881 --> 01:07:15,117 - No, Lorraine! You need to answer me. 1564 01:07:15,117 --> 01:07:18,186 - You're my daughter. I love you. 1565 01:07:18,186 --> 01:07:20,355 - But do you like me? 1566 01:07:20,355 --> 01:07:23,625 My dress is too tight. I make too many jokes. 1567 01:07:23,625 --> 01:07:24,993 I eat too many canapés. 1568 01:07:24,993 --> 01:07:26,561 What do you actually like about me? 1569 01:07:26,561 --> 01:07:29,364 - Now is not the time or the place, young lady. 1570 01:07:29,364 --> 01:07:31,767 - I have actually just wasted so much time 1571 01:07:31,767 --> 01:07:34,336 letting everyone walk all over me. 1572 01:07:34,336 --> 01:07:36,738 My friends, my mom, the radio station. 1573 01:07:36,738 --> 01:07:37,973 But enough! 1574 01:07:37,973 --> 01:07:39,641 Have you ever once thought about what 1575 01:07:39,641 --> 01:07:43,211 it was like for me to be your daughter, Mrs. Perfect? 1576 01:07:43,211 --> 01:07:46,882 What it's like for me to exist while everyone around me 1577 01:07:46,882 --> 01:07:49,317 makes me feel like I don't even deserve to love myself 1578 01:07:49,317 --> 01:07:50,919 because of the ass-backwards way 1579 01:07:50,919 --> 01:07:53,155 that this world judges women? 1580 01:07:53,155 --> 01:07:56,491 And every comment you make just brings me right back 1581 01:07:56,491 --> 01:07:59,695 to being that shy and insecure little girl 1582 01:07:59,695 --> 01:08:01,596 from freshman year. 1583 01:08:01,596 --> 01:08:04,866 She's always with me, 1584 01:08:04,866 --> 01:08:07,803 always telling me to be small and quiet, 1585 01:08:07,803 --> 01:08:11,206 and telling me not to be honest about how I'm feeling. 1586 01:08:11,206 --> 01:08:13,942 And I am exhausted! 1587 01:08:13,942 --> 01:08:16,378 That's why I don't come back here! 1588 01:08:16,378 --> 01:08:19,147 - I have only been making suggestions. 1589 01:08:19,147 --> 01:08:22,784 - Baby, it's time to listen. 1590 01:08:22,784 --> 01:08:26,154 - Mom, you have spent a lifetime 1591 01:08:26,154 --> 01:08:28,990 suggesting everything that was wrong with me, 1592 01:08:28,990 --> 01:08:31,426 validating every single bully I have ever had, 1593 01:08:31,426 --> 01:08:34,196 and all I wanted you to do was just look at me one time 1594 01:08:34,196 --> 01:08:36,531 and suggest what was right about me! 1595 01:08:39,134 --> 01:08:41,403 - Why didn't you say anything? 1596 01:08:41,403 --> 01:08:43,839 - Because as much as I want to be close to you 1597 01:08:43,839 --> 01:08:45,674 and tell you all of this stuff, 1598 01:08:45,674 --> 01:08:48,110 you are not the easiest person to talk to. 1599 01:08:48,110 --> 01:08:51,279 - Oh, well, I wouldn't say that. 1600 01:08:51,279 --> 01:08:53,548 - Look, I learned this week that talking 1601 01:08:53,548 --> 01:08:56,218 about your feelings is actually really, really important, 1602 01:08:56,218 --> 01:08:57,986 and so is standing up for yourself 1603 01:08:57,986 --> 01:09:00,055 and asking for what you want. 1604 01:09:00,055 --> 01:09:01,490 - That's my girl. 1605 01:09:01,490 --> 01:09:04,493 - So there will be no more of me doubting myself 1606 01:09:04,493 --> 01:09:07,195 and no more of me not asking for what I want. 1607 01:09:07,195 --> 01:09:09,064 That is not who I am anymore. 1608 01:09:09,064 --> 01:09:12,601 - Yes, partner! Preach! 1609 01:09:12,601 --> 01:09:16,104 - Oh, bitch, I know you not talking. 1610 01:09:16,104 --> 01:09:18,173 Ginger, you were my bully. 1611 01:09:18,173 --> 01:09:20,208 Do you get that? 1612 01:09:20,208 --> 01:09:22,878 And no, we are not over it. 1613 01:09:22,878 --> 01:09:25,180 I'm not over anything. 1614 01:09:25,180 --> 01:09:27,015 And the messed up part is I actually like you, 1615 01:09:27,015 --> 01:09:29,217 and we're friends now, but being friends 1616 01:09:29,217 --> 01:09:30,619 means being honest. 1617 01:09:30,619 --> 01:09:32,654 And you honestly need to acknowledge 1618 01:09:32,654 --> 01:09:33,955 what you did to me. 1619 01:09:33,955 --> 01:09:35,757 And you need to apologize. 1620 01:09:35,757 --> 01:09:38,593 Maybe then we can be good. 1621 01:09:40,228 --> 01:09:42,230 No, no. Let me tell you something. 1622 01:09:42,230 --> 01:09:43,799 We are not in love. 1623 01:09:43,799 --> 01:09:47,435 Go on somewhere and find your happiness outside of me! 1624 01:09:47,435 --> 01:09:48,804 And you! 1625 01:09:48,804 --> 01:09:50,205 Wyatt! 1626 01:09:50,205 --> 01:09:51,740 How dare you! 1627 01:09:51,740 --> 01:09:55,210 Why would you show up in this insane Santa reality? 1628 01:09:55,210 --> 01:09:57,646 Huh? And the thing is, I like you. 1629 01:09:57,646 --> 01:09:59,014 So do me a favor, okay? 1630 01:09:59,014 --> 01:10:00,615 This isn't gonna make any sense, 1631 01:10:00,615 --> 01:10:03,451 but in a few days when a really cute, 1632 01:10:03,451 --> 01:10:05,554 a little bit plump with a booty, 1633 01:10:05,554 --> 01:10:08,023 self-assured girl comes up to you 1634 01:10:08,023 --> 01:10:10,025 and shoots her shot, just say yes. 1635 01:10:10,025 --> 01:10:11,426 Huh? Just say yes. 1636 01:10:11,426 --> 01:10:12,761 Because I can flip my tongue over, 1637 01:10:12,761 --> 01:10:14,896 and only one in 10,000 people can do that. 1638 01:10:14,896 --> 01:10:16,364 You're gonna miss out on that. 1639 01:10:16,364 --> 01:10:21,102 And I know that I sound angry, but I am not mad at you! 1640 01:10:21,102 --> 01:10:22,971 And this tree! 1641 01:10:22,971 --> 01:10:25,173 Move! 1642 01:10:25,173 --> 01:10:28,577 [all gasping] 1643 01:10:28,577 --> 01:10:31,146 - How dare you! You stole my mom! 1644 01:10:31,146 --> 01:10:33,081 - Okay, get it out. Get it out. 1645 01:10:33,081 --> 01:10:34,983 Yeah. 1646 01:10:34,983 --> 01:10:37,752 - No, not my tree! Not Goldy! 1647 01:10:37,752 --> 01:10:39,821 Not Goldy! 1648 01:10:39,821 --> 01:10:41,756 [sobbing] 1649 01:10:41,756 --> 01:10:46,528 No, no, no! - Oh, that's not right. 1650 01:10:46,528 --> 01:10:49,064 - Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it! 1651 01:10:49,064 --> 01:10:52,300 - [screaming] - [screaming] 1652 01:10:52,300 --> 01:10:55,971 - Ahh! [groans] 1653 01:10:55,971 --> 01:10:57,973 - No. 1654 01:10:57,973 --> 01:11:00,041 - ♪ Oh, I'm so happy ♪ 1655 01:11:00,041 --> 01:11:02,110 - Feel good, feel good? 1656 01:11:02,110 --> 01:11:04,346 - Peace out, kings and queens! 1657 01:11:04,346 --> 01:11:07,883 - ♪ It's a celebration ♪ 1658 01:11:07,883 --> 01:11:13,054 - Oh, yeah, they definitely win for Best Entertainment. 1659 01:11:13,054 --> 01:11:15,156 Oh! 1660 01:11:15,156 --> 01:11:18,560 - Oh, don't you say it. - Say what? 1661 01:11:18,560 --> 01:11:20,595 - That you were right about everything. 1662 01:11:20,595 --> 01:11:22,163 - Okay, as much as I like being right, 1663 01:11:22,163 --> 01:11:24,399 this is not bringing me Christmas joy. 1664 01:11:24,399 --> 01:11:26,201 You still got some time. - You think so? 1665 01:11:26,201 --> 01:11:27,869 - Yeah, go talk to her. - Talk to her. 1666 01:11:27,869 --> 01:11:30,038 Emily, oh! 1667 01:11:30,038 --> 01:11:32,540 - Are we gonna? 1668 01:11:32,540 --> 01:11:34,242 No, I'm gonna-- yeah. 1669 01:11:34,242 --> 01:11:36,645 - Make it right. 1670 01:11:36,645 --> 01:11:38,246 ♪ ♪ 1671 01:11:38,246 --> 01:11:41,149 Okay! Come on, DJ! 1672 01:11:41,149 --> 01:11:42,584 DJ! 1673 01:11:42,584 --> 01:11:45,620 All right! Y'all better come on. 1674 01:11:45,620 --> 01:11:47,756 Come on, uh, uh! 1675 01:11:47,756 --> 01:11:48,957 Come on. 1676 01:11:48,957 --> 01:11:50,592 Michael. Michael. 1677 01:11:50,592 --> 01:11:52,661 Come on, you get in there. Let me see what you got. 1678 01:11:52,661 --> 01:11:54,696 Hey, hey! 1679 01:11:56,831 --> 01:11:59,334 - [chuckling] 1680 01:11:59,334 --> 01:12:01,469 Oh, my God. 1681 01:12:05,373 --> 01:12:08,376 KLDA listeners, it's me, Emily, 1682 01:12:08,376 --> 01:12:10,011 and I'm finally 1683 01:12:10,011 --> 01:12:13,882 a boss-ass bitch. 1684 01:12:13,882 --> 01:12:18,653 [imitates airhorn] 1685 01:12:26,728 --> 01:12:29,097 - I've said everything I needed to say. 1686 01:12:29,097 --> 01:12:30,899 - You're right. 1687 01:12:30,899 --> 01:12:34,102 And I'm so glad that you had a chance to say everything 1688 01:12:34,102 --> 01:12:38,206 you needed to say because I have a few things to say too 1689 01:12:38,206 --> 01:12:40,242 if that's okay with you. 1690 01:12:40,242 --> 01:12:42,477 - Go ahead. 1691 01:12:46,948 --> 01:12:48,617 - You were right. 1692 01:12:48,617 --> 01:12:51,052 I tried to control everything, 1693 01:12:51,052 --> 01:12:54,322 to make everything perfect, 1694 01:12:54,322 --> 01:12:57,292 and that makes me a terrible listener, 1695 01:12:57,292 --> 01:12:59,261 a terrible mother. 1696 01:12:59,261 --> 01:13:01,196 But let me say this, you have to know 1697 01:13:01,196 --> 01:13:03,598 that I like you. 1698 01:13:03,598 --> 01:13:06,334 You're funny. You're smart. 1699 01:13:06,334 --> 01:13:08,637 Oh, you're so funny sometimes, 1700 01:13:08,637 --> 01:13:10,772 the jokes you make I don't even understand. 1701 01:13:10,772 --> 01:13:13,041 But that's not your fault. That's my fault. 1702 01:13:13,041 --> 01:13:15,777 Because I'm not funny. 1703 01:13:15,777 --> 01:13:19,281 You know, I thought that if I could just 1704 01:13:19,281 --> 01:13:23,485 make everything perfect, make myself perfect, 1705 01:13:23,485 --> 01:13:28,390 just push harder, you guys would 1706 01:13:28,390 --> 01:13:32,327 be proud of me. 1707 01:13:32,327 --> 01:13:36,331 Because I could take care of you. 1708 01:13:36,331 --> 01:13:39,801 But you're already perfect because you're you. 1709 01:13:39,801 --> 01:13:44,206 And I should have been telling you that all the time. 1710 01:13:44,206 --> 01:13:49,144 I just wonder now, 1711 01:13:49,144 --> 01:13:50,745 is it too late? 1712 01:13:52,747 --> 01:13:54,349 - No. 1713 01:13:54,349 --> 01:13:55,917 Of course it's not too late. 1714 01:13:55,917 --> 01:13:57,919 It's Christmas, for Christ's sakes. 1715 01:13:57,919 --> 01:14:00,322 It's never too late. 1716 01:14:00,322 --> 01:14:02,691 - Okay, okay. 1717 01:14:04,759 --> 01:14:06,461 - Geez. 1718 01:14:06,461 --> 01:14:11,166 Right, that's a tough act to follow. 1719 01:14:11,166 --> 01:14:14,202 But you're right, Em. 1720 01:14:14,202 --> 01:14:18,873 You're--you are so totally beyond right. 1721 01:14:25,480 --> 01:14:28,216 I know I bullied you. 1722 01:14:28,216 --> 01:14:31,620 God, I was so mean. 1723 01:14:31,620 --> 01:14:33,488 It's really hard for me to think about sometimes, 1724 01:14:33,488 --> 01:14:37,826 but I've been talking about it in therapy, so-- 1725 01:14:37,826 --> 01:14:39,761 I was an insecure piece of crap, 1726 01:14:39,761 --> 01:14:42,897 and I took it out on you, and you didn't deserve that. 1727 01:14:42,897 --> 01:14:45,233 You're so beautiful. 1728 01:14:45,233 --> 01:14:47,402 I'm so sorry if I ever made you doubt that. 1729 01:14:49,437 --> 01:14:51,539 You're my best bitch, bitch! 1730 01:14:51,539 --> 01:14:54,476 - Oh, my God, come here. 1731 01:15:00,115 --> 01:15:01,816 - Get it, girl. 1732 01:15:02,951 --> 01:15:04,352 - Hey. - Hey. 1733 01:15:04,352 --> 01:15:06,321 Hey. Enjoying the party? 1734 01:15:06,321 --> 01:15:08,089 - Oh, yeah, I'm having a good time. 1735 01:15:08,089 --> 01:15:10,558 Someone assaulted a tree. 1736 01:15:10,558 --> 01:15:12,060 - I know. I saw that. 1737 01:15:12,060 --> 01:15:13,228 She's crazy. - Yeah. 1738 01:15:13,228 --> 01:15:14,529 - She's unhinged. 1739 01:15:14,529 --> 01:15:16,097 - I wouldn't let that person go to a forest 1740 01:15:16,097 --> 01:15:18,633 because then that--you're in the tree's territory, so-- 1741 01:15:18,633 --> 01:15:22,103 - She gon' get jumped. - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 1742 01:15:22,103 --> 01:15:23,538 I just-- 1743 01:15:23,538 --> 01:15:25,807 I just want to say I loved how you stood up 1744 01:15:25,807 --> 01:15:28,276 to everyone in there, and I-- 1745 01:15:28,276 --> 01:15:29,944 I think you're incredible. 1746 01:15:29,944 --> 01:15:32,247 And I'm not really sure what you meant when you asked 1747 01:15:32,247 --> 01:15:34,716 about this mystery person who might ask me a question, 1748 01:15:34,716 --> 01:15:36,951 but I will definitely say yes. 1749 01:15:36,951 --> 01:15:39,854 And if I'm being honest, it kind of sounds like 1750 01:15:39,854 --> 01:15:42,257 an invitation to an orgy, which I've never done. 1751 01:15:42,257 --> 01:15:44,592 Not to say I'm not, you know, I can't be a freak. 1752 01:15:44,592 --> 01:15:47,696 I'm a freak. I get freaky. 1753 01:15:47,696 --> 01:15:50,231 Not like freaky, ugh. Like freaky, hmm. 1754 01:15:50,231 --> 01:15:52,534 - But rated on a scale? 1755 01:15:52,534 --> 01:15:54,369 - A moderate six. 1756 01:15:54,369 --> 01:15:56,137 You know. - I could work with that. 1757 01:15:56,137 --> 01:15:57,706 - Yeah, yeah. 1758 01:15:57,706 --> 01:16:01,910 Well, good, because whenever you meet an Emily, you know, 1759 01:16:01,910 --> 01:16:03,912 you kind of want to hang on to them. 1760 01:16:03,912 --> 01:16:08,450 So you know, I might push it to a seven. 1761 01:16:08,450 --> 01:16:09,851 - We'll get you to eight. 1762 01:16:09,851 --> 01:16:11,920 - Ooh! 1763 01:16:11,920 --> 01:16:14,222 Oh. 1764 01:16:14,222 --> 01:16:17,192 [tender music] 1765 01:16:17,192 --> 01:16:22,664 ♪ ♪ 1766 01:16:22,664 --> 01:16:25,266 - Emily, you want to go back into the party 1767 01:16:25,266 --> 01:16:28,169 and have a good time? 1768 01:16:28,169 --> 01:16:30,438 - Yes. Um, yeah. 1769 01:16:30,438 --> 01:16:32,040 - Yep. 1770 01:16:32,040 --> 01:16:33,441 - But I'm gonna be in in a little bit. 1771 01:16:33,441 --> 01:16:34,876 I have to go-- 1772 01:16:34,876 --> 01:16:36,177 I actually have to go do something. 1773 01:16:36,177 --> 01:16:38,146 - I got a job to do. - Yeah, totally, totally. 1774 01:16:38,146 --> 01:16:39,714 I'll meet you in there, though. 1775 01:16:39,714 --> 01:16:42,584 - All right. - We'll get you at a nine. 1776 01:16:42,584 --> 01:16:45,020 [exhales] Okay. 1777 01:16:47,422 --> 01:16:50,325 - It really is a lovely tree. 1778 01:16:50,325 --> 01:16:52,293 You okay? 1779 01:16:52,293 --> 01:16:54,396 - I think I will be. 1780 01:16:56,331 --> 01:16:59,801 - You know, we've had an opening at the rummy table 1781 01:16:59,801 --> 01:17:01,703 if that doesn't sound too awful. 1782 01:17:01,703 --> 01:17:03,738 - Oh, I'd love that! 1783 01:17:03,738 --> 01:17:06,775 - Oh, if you don't mind messy pajamas 1784 01:17:06,775 --> 01:17:08,710 and too many Sancerres. 1785 01:17:08,710 --> 01:17:12,313 - Oh, I love Sancerres, and the messier the better. 1786 01:17:12,313 --> 01:17:17,185 I am just exhausted with all this perfection stuff. 1787 01:17:17,185 --> 01:17:19,053 Could you help me with this? 1788 01:17:19,053 --> 01:17:21,122 - Sure, hold these. 1789 01:17:21,122 --> 01:17:24,025 Okay, I got it. 1790 01:17:24,025 --> 01:17:26,361 - There you go. Oh, I think it's right. 1791 01:17:26,361 --> 01:17:27,595 It's perfect. 1792 01:17:29,957 --> 01:17:33,160 [soft music] 1793 01:17:33,160 --> 01:17:36,063 - What, what, what, what, what. 1794 01:17:36,063 --> 01:17:38,665 - Oh. [laughs] 1795 01:17:40,300 --> 01:17:41,802 You ready to do this? 1796 01:17:41,802 --> 01:17:44,872 - Yes, did you leave the rest of B2K at the party? 1797 01:17:44,872 --> 01:17:46,974 - [laughs] 1798 01:17:46,974 --> 01:17:49,209 You know, Omarion didn't show up. 1799 01:17:49,209 --> 01:17:51,278 - Didn't he? - Yeah, yeah. 1800 01:17:51,278 --> 01:17:53,414 All right, here you go. 1801 01:17:53,414 --> 01:17:55,983 - You already know. - Let's do this. 1802 01:17:55,983 --> 01:17:58,018 - Let's do it. 1803 01:17:58,018 --> 01:18:01,822 ♪ ♪ 1804 01:18:01,822 --> 01:18:04,358 Okay. 1805 01:18:04,358 --> 01:18:07,694 Dear Santa, wow, what a ride, 1806 01:18:07,694 --> 01:18:10,230 you mischievous SOB, you. 1807 01:18:10,230 --> 01:18:14,668 Anyway, what I really wanted to say was, thank you. 1808 01:18:14,668 --> 01:18:16,236 I found my voice. 1809 01:18:16,236 --> 01:18:19,039 Ironic for someone who wants to be a DJ. 1810 01:18:19,039 --> 01:18:22,843 Thing is, it was in me the whole time. 1811 01:18:22,843 --> 01:18:25,612 I just let the world tell me it wasn't. 1812 01:18:25,612 --> 01:18:30,250 PS, Wolf did a stellar job. 1813 01:18:30,250 --> 01:18:32,986 Thanks for reminding me that I'm a queen. 1814 01:18:32,986 --> 01:18:36,824 B-T-dubs, if you want to keep that dance circle thing, 1815 01:18:36,824 --> 01:18:39,059 I'm cool with that. 1816 01:18:39,059 --> 01:18:41,128 Here goes everything. 1817 01:18:41,128 --> 01:18:43,030 ♪ ♪ 1818 01:18:43,030 --> 01:18:45,165 There's one more thing we need to do. 1819 01:18:45,165 --> 01:18:47,534 - Okay. 1820 01:18:47,534 --> 01:18:49,503 Ready? 1821 01:18:49,503 --> 01:18:52,406 - Let's do it together. One, two, three. 1822 01:18:52,406 --> 01:18:53,874 [bell dings] 1823 01:18:53,874 --> 01:18:55,509 - ♪ It's a celebration ♪ 1824 01:18:55,509 --> 01:18:57,811 - Out of my way. 1825 01:18:57,811 --> 01:19:00,814 - ♪ Get ready for the holidays ♪ 1826 01:19:00,814 --> 01:19:04,718 ♪ Yeah it's a celebration ♪ 1827 01:19:04,718 --> 01:19:08,388 ♪ ♪ 1828 01:19:08,388 --> 01:19:11,692 ♪ It's what we make it ♪ 1829 01:19:11,692 --> 01:19:16,597 - Yeah! [laughs] 1830 01:19:16,597 --> 01:19:20,067 I am a boss-ass bitch! 1831 01:19:20,067 --> 01:19:21,768 Boss-ass bitch! 1832 01:19:21,768 --> 01:19:23,770 all: Boss-ass bitch! 1833 01:19:23,770 --> 01:19:27,107 Boss-ass bitch! - Whoo! 1834 01:19:29,443 --> 01:19:32,813 - Emily, breakfast! 1835 01:19:32,813 --> 01:19:36,783 - Oh, damn, it didn't work. 1836 01:19:36,783 --> 01:19:38,252 - Emily. - [gasps] 1837 01:19:38,252 --> 01:19:41,622 - Oh, no, the Tooth Fairy! 1838 01:19:41,622 --> 01:19:43,657 Am I gonna turn into fruitcake? 1839 01:19:43,657 --> 01:19:45,759 Oh, my God, that is a terrible way to die. 1840 01:19:45,759 --> 01:19:47,427 Why would I write that? 1841 01:19:47,427 --> 01:19:49,363 - Emily, it worked! 1842 01:19:49,363 --> 01:19:51,498 - Are you sure? - Yeah! 1843 01:19:51,498 --> 01:19:53,634 I mean, I like to think that I could take a little bit 1844 01:19:53,634 --> 01:19:56,103 of the credit, but you did it. 1845 01:19:56,103 --> 01:19:57,905 - Oh, wow, okay. 1846 01:19:57,905 --> 01:20:01,341 - Yeah, like--look, your job, the apartment, 1847 01:20:01,341 --> 01:20:05,379 your cat, it's all back, and no one's the wiser. 1848 01:20:05,379 --> 01:20:09,416 Yeah, and now you just know how to ask for what you need. 1849 01:20:09,416 --> 01:20:14,221 And maybe, just maybe, you hate Christmas just a little less. 1850 01:20:14,221 --> 01:20:16,290 - Aww. 1851 01:20:16,290 --> 01:20:18,692 - But, uh, yeah. 1852 01:20:18,692 --> 01:20:20,928 This is me saying goodbye. 1853 01:20:23,463 --> 01:20:25,432 I just, uh-- 1854 01:20:25,432 --> 01:20:27,134 I just don't know how. 1855 01:20:31,204 --> 01:20:34,441 - I'm really, really gonna miss you too. 1856 01:20:35,375 --> 01:20:38,512 - Hey, if you ever want to write Santa, just-- 1857 01:20:38,512 --> 01:20:40,080 - Oh, absolutely not. 1858 01:20:40,080 --> 01:20:43,617 I am completely done writing to Santa. 1859 01:20:43,617 --> 01:20:46,587 But I'm gonna go in, and I'm gonna ask 1860 01:20:46,587 --> 01:20:47,955 for my show today. 1861 01:20:47,955 --> 01:20:49,690 And I want you to come on as a guest 1862 01:20:49,690 --> 01:20:54,394 because you are really, really incredible at giving advice. 1863 01:20:54,394 --> 01:20:56,663 - You know what? 1864 01:20:56,663 --> 01:20:59,333 You weren't a pain in my ass after all. 1865 01:20:59,333 --> 01:21:02,135 Yeah. - Thank you. 1866 01:21:02,135 --> 01:21:04,204 - Mm-hmm. 1867 01:21:05,439 --> 01:21:08,442 [soft music] 1868 01:21:08,442 --> 01:21:12,212 ♪ ♪ 1869 01:21:12,212 --> 01:21:18,151 - ♪ We were warm and wonderful once upon a time ♪ 1870 01:21:18,151 --> 01:21:20,020 - Whoa. 1871 01:21:20,020 --> 01:21:24,124 It smells and looks delicious down here, but I can't stay. 1872 01:21:24,124 --> 01:21:27,160 I gotta run to work. - Right, your show. 1873 01:21:27,160 --> 01:21:28,762 - Yeah. 1874 01:21:28,762 --> 01:21:31,164 But I'm gonna come right back and celebrate with you after. 1875 01:21:31,164 --> 01:21:32,766 - Really? 1876 01:21:32,766 --> 01:21:34,835 But you always work on Christmas. 1877 01:21:34,835 --> 01:21:37,004 - I know, but sometimes, things change. 1878 01:21:37,004 --> 01:21:38,171 - Yeah. 1879 01:21:38,171 --> 01:21:40,107 - Wait, where'd you get that hat? 1880 01:21:40,107 --> 01:21:44,011 - From a very special friend who wants me 1881 01:21:44,011 --> 01:21:45,979 to remember him by it 1882 01:21:45,979 --> 01:21:49,650 and all the things that have happened this week. 1883 01:21:49,650 --> 01:21:52,452 When you come home this evening, 1884 01:21:52,452 --> 01:21:54,988 can we talk more? 1885 01:21:54,988 --> 01:21:59,359 Well, actually, can you talk more and I listen more? 1886 01:22:01,595 --> 01:22:04,398 - Yeah. Yeah, I would love that. 1887 01:22:04,398 --> 01:22:06,199 I would really love that. 1888 01:22:06,199 --> 01:22:07,834 - Aw, merry Christmas, sweetie. 1889 01:22:07,834 --> 01:22:09,903 - Merry Christmas, Mom. 1890 01:22:09,903 --> 01:22:13,140 - This is Ken Spicer saying, it's been a blast. 1891 01:22:13,140 --> 01:22:16,176 - ♪ Just make it to Christmas? ♪ 1892 01:22:16,176 --> 01:22:19,379 ♪ Make it to Christmas ♪ 1893 01:22:19,379 --> 01:22:21,481 ♪ ♪ 1894 01:22:21,481 --> 01:22:23,817 - Hey, you got a second? 1895 01:22:23,817 --> 01:22:25,919 - Can it wait? 1896 01:22:25,919 --> 01:22:27,521 I'm trying to catch a plane to Cabo, 1897 01:22:27,521 --> 01:22:29,356 if you know what I mean. 1898 01:22:29,356 --> 01:22:31,792 - Actually, it can't. 1899 01:22:31,792 --> 01:22:33,994 Also, if that's a sexual innuendo, 1900 01:22:33,994 --> 01:22:37,130 you keep that to yourself. 1901 01:22:37,130 --> 01:22:39,633 Um... 1902 01:22:39,633 --> 01:22:43,136 ♪ ♪ 1903 01:22:43,136 --> 01:22:46,173 So I-- 1904 01:22:46,173 --> 01:22:49,376 so I know that you gave your show to Janice, 1905 01:22:49,376 --> 01:22:55,682 and congratulations to her, but you still own the station, 1906 01:22:55,682 --> 01:23:00,721 and you and I both know that there is one more slot left 1907 01:23:00,721 --> 01:23:03,724 for an hour-long show, 1908 01:23:03,724 --> 01:23:07,728 and I'm asking you for that show. 1909 01:23:10,497 --> 01:23:14,067 Being your producer has been really great, 1910 01:23:14,067 --> 01:23:18,004 but I'm better than that. 1911 01:23:18,004 --> 01:23:20,140 The meter spikes every time I chime in 1912 01:23:20,140 --> 01:23:22,375 on your show because I'm-- 1913 01:23:22,375 --> 01:23:25,078 I'm funny and I'm smart. 1914 01:23:25,078 --> 01:23:28,715 And we'll call it "Ask Emily." 1915 01:23:28,715 --> 01:23:31,418 What do you say? 1916 01:23:34,254 --> 01:23:37,624 - Nice to have you in the game, Emily. 1917 01:23:37,624 --> 01:23:40,827 Glad you finally showed up. 1918 01:23:40,827 --> 01:23:42,195 - Here I am. 1919 01:23:44,064 --> 01:23:46,466 So I can take that as a yes? 1920 01:23:46,466 --> 01:23:47,968 - Yes. 1921 01:23:47,968 --> 01:23:49,970 - All right! 1922 01:23:49,970 --> 01:23:52,639 - ♪ Hold on a little longer ♪ 1923 01:23:52,639 --> 01:23:56,643 ♪ Don't have me spending it alone ♪ 1924 01:23:56,643 --> 01:23:59,312 ♪ This time of year is precious ♪ 1925 01:23:59,312 --> 01:24:02,816 ♪ Just, please, can we make it to Christmas? ♪ 1926 01:24:02,816 --> 01:24:05,919 ♪ Can we make it to Christmas? ♪ 1927 01:24:05,919 --> 01:24:07,754 [bell rings] 1928 01:24:07,754 --> 01:24:10,724 [soft music] 1929 01:24:10,724 --> 01:24:16,763 ♪ ♪ 1930 01:24:16,763 --> 01:24:19,499 - Hi. - Hi. 1931 01:24:23,036 --> 01:24:25,605 - You know, my last name is actually Snowmyn? 1932 01:24:25,605 --> 01:24:27,307 - No kidding. 1933 01:24:27,307 --> 01:24:29,910 - I swear to God, Wyatt Snowmyn, at your service. 1934 01:24:29,910 --> 01:24:31,711 - What a coincidence. 1935 01:24:31,711 --> 01:24:33,280 - And you, uh... - Oh. 1936 01:24:33,280 --> 01:24:37,017 - Your name? - Emily Harris. 1937 01:24:37,017 --> 01:24:39,719 I'm a Sagittarius. I just turned 31. 1938 01:24:39,719 --> 01:24:42,022 I'm a big fan of miming 1939 01:24:42,022 --> 01:24:44,558 and Christmas themed craft cocktails 1940 01:24:44,558 --> 01:24:47,928 with terrible names. 1941 01:24:47,928 --> 01:24:51,331 - Well then, you're going to-- 1942 01:24:51,331 --> 01:24:53,600 - Ah, heart? 1943 01:24:53,600 --> 01:24:55,001 - A little drink I call 1944 01:24:55,001 --> 01:24:58,471 the Santa Clausmopolitan. 1945 01:24:58,471 --> 01:25:01,074 - Do you want to go out with me? 1946 01:25:03,210 --> 01:25:05,946 - I don't know why, but I have a strong feeling 1947 01:25:05,946 --> 01:25:07,948 I should say yes. 1948 01:25:07,948 --> 01:25:10,283 - Mm, I don't know why either, 1949 01:25:10,283 --> 01:25:13,386 but you should follow that maybe. 1950 01:25:13,386 --> 01:25:15,088 - Yes. 1951 01:25:15,088 --> 01:25:17,424 Absolutely yes. 1952 01:25:17,424 --> 01:25:20,594 ♪ ♪ 1953 01:25:20,594 --> 01:25:23,797 [upbeat music] 1954 01:25:23,797 --> 01:25:27,834 - Well, I bet you were anxious to get back to kids' gifts. 1955 01:25:27,834 --> 01:25:30,503 - Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something. 1956 01:25:30,503 --> 01:25:32,472 You might think I'm pulling your chain, 1957 01:25:32,472 --> 01:25:34,975 but I think I want to continue doing 1958 01:25:34,975 --> 01:25:36,943 this whole helping people job. 1959 01:25:36,943 --> 01:25:39,279 - And why is that? 1960 01:25:39,279 --> 01:25:42,449 - Well, you were right, okay? 1961 01:25:42,449 --> 01:25:44,985 I was selfish, and I was really dismissing 1962 01:25:44,985 --> 01:25:47,053 the virtue of kindness. 1963 01:25:47,053 --> 01:25:49,389 I really like helping people. - Ah! 1964 01:25:49,389 --> 01:25:52,425 Oh, Wolfie! Yes you do! 1965 01:25:52,425 --> 01:25:54,327 Wolfie, I knew it. I knew it! 1966 01:25:54,327 --> 01:25:56,263 I didn't know it. I was hoping, though. 1967 01:25:56,263 --> 01:25:57,731 [laughs] 1968 01:25:57,731 --> 01:25:59,366 Yeah, whoo! - Whoo! 1969 01:25:59,366 --> 01:26:02,135 Merry Christmas! - Merry Christmas, Wolfie. 1970 01:26:02,135 --> 01:26:05,138 [both laughing] 1971 01:26:05,138 --> 01:26:06,506 [ominous music] 1972 01:26:06,506 --> 01:26:08,141 - The Tooth Fairy. 1973 01:26:08,141 --> 01:26:10,710 ♪ ♪ 1974 01:26:10,710 --> 01:26:13,613 - [screeching] 1975 01:26:16,883 --> 01:26:17,984 - Oh. 1976 01:26:17,984 --> 01:26:22,155 - [screeching] 1977 01:26:22,155 --> 01:26:25,558 - Uh, let's dance! 1978 01:26:25,558 --> 01:26:28,228 Yeah, can-can, hey! 1979 01:26:28,228 --> 01:26:29,596 Reindeer, reindeer. Do the reindeer. 1980 01:26:29,596 --> 01:26:30,897 Do the reindeer. 1981 01:26:30,897 --> 01:26:32,532 We on the reindeer, we ride the reindeer. 1982 01:26:32,532 --> 01:26:34,968 ♪ ♪ 1983 01:26:34,968 --> 01:26:38,238 - ♪ Uh-huh, that's just the way you make me feel ♪ 1984 01:26:38,238 --> 01:26:39,973 ♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪ 1985 01:26:39,973 --> 01:26:42,342 ♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪ 1986 01:26:42,342 --> 01:26:44,144 ♪ Know what love is, always don't stop it ♪ 1987 01:26:44,144 --> 01:26:45,679 ♪ ♪ 1988 01:26:45,679 --> 01:26:48,548 ♪ You got me right here in your jean pocket ♪ 1989 01:26:48,548 --> 01:26:50,050 ♪ ♪ 1990 01:26:50,050 --> 01:26:53,119 ♪ Laying your body on the shag carpet ♪ 1991 01:26:53,119 --> 01:26:55,155 ♪ Ooh, you know what love is ♪ 1992 01:26:55,155 --> 01:26:56,890 ♪ Always don't stop it ♪ 1993 01:26:56,890 --> 01:26:58,591 ♪ ♪ 1994 01:26:58,591 --> 01:27:02,629 ♪ It's like I'm powerful with a little bit of tender ♪ 1995 01:27:02,629 --> 01:27:06,933 ♪ An emotional, a sexual blender ♪ 1996 01:27:06,933 --> 01:27:09,002 ♪ Mess me up, yeah ♪ 1997 01:27:09,002 --> 01:27:11,771 - KLDA Nation, did you get everything 1998 01:27:11,771 --> 01:27:12,973 you asked for this year? 1999 01:27:12,973 --> 01:27:14,240 I know I did. 2000 01:27:14,240 --> 01:27:16,309 And great news, 2001 01:27:16,309 --> 01:27:19,746 tonight and every night, I'm gonna be coming at you 2002 01:27:19,746 --> 01:27:22,215 with my own show, "Ask Emily." 2003 01:27:22,215 --> 01:27:24,217 We'll spend an entire hour together 2004 01:27:24,217 --> 01:27:25,852 talking and listening. 2005 01:27:25,852 --> 01:27:29,255 You can tell me your worries, tell me your wishes, 2006 01:27:29,255 --> 01:27:31,558 and you can ask for what you want. 2007 01:27:31,558 --> 01:27:33,660 And I'm gonna ask you to bear with me 2008 01:27:33,660 --> 01:27:36,896 because I'm about to get real vulnerable up in this piece. 2009 01:27:36,896 --> 01:27:40,266 So let's start it off right with our first caller. 2010 01:27:42,102 --> 01:27:44,170 Hi, you're on the air with Emily. 2011 01:27:44,170 --> 01:27:46,506 What's your name, and what's your problem? 2012 01:27:46,506 --> 01:27:49,476 - Linda, and I have a game night emergency. 2013 01:27:49,476 --> 01:27:53,980 But also, I'm so proud of you, honey. 2014 01:27:53,980 --> 01:27:56,983 - Hi, Mom. What's your question? 134257