Original subtitles

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[ Cellphone vibrating ]

Libby: Toby Fleishman awoke one morning inside the city

he'd lived in all his adult life,

which was suddenly, somehow, now crawling with women

who wanted him.

Not just any women.

Women who were self-actualized and independent

and who knew what they wanted.

Women who seemed kind.

Women who seemed motivated and available.

But also some who just sent over a picture of a G-string.

Or their side boob.

Or their underboob.

Or their just plain regular boob.

It was more than a newly divorced man

could take after 15 years of marriage.

All this, after a youth full of romantic rejection.

All this, after placing a lifetime bet on one woman.

Who could have predicted this?

Who could have predicted

that there was such life in him yet?

But these women were not objects to Toby.

They were his mentors.

No, they were his heroes.

They were teaching him how to live now that he was suddenly,

somehow, no longer living with Rachel.

Each morning he would wake up

with an overwhelming sense of panic

in that new apartment of his.

Where was he? Where was she?

Where was his home?

"Something is wrong," he'd think.

"I am in trouble."

For Rachel was no longer in bed with him.

She was no longer in the kitchen, griping about her day.

Now I'm gonna have to spend whole day cleaning up that mess

with a lunch I don't even have time for.

She was no longer just coming home from the gym

in a less black mood than usual.

It was a disaster. It was a complete disaster.

Maybe it will be fine. I don't know.

Oh, I'll be home late,

so I'll need that prescription picked up.

She was no longer applying a thick layer

of black liquid eyeliner to her upper lid

with the precision of an arthroscopy robot.

Are the kids ready already?

But on this particular morning,

she was also not in the much nicer home

that was just hers now.

Rachel: A spot opened up at that yoga thing

I was trying to get into upstate -- Everglade --

so, uh, the kids are with you FYI.

FYI? FYI, I dropped the kids off a day early?

What the hell were you thinking?

I said a spot opened up.

Yeah, well they're not groceries, okay? They are children.

What if I hadn't checked my phone?

What if I had been called into the hospital

in the middle of the night?

Well, that didn't happen, right? Good news.

Well, I have plans tonight, alright?

I'm not supposed to have them until tomorrow.

It's just one night. Call Mona.

Hey, I want to be with them when I have them, alright?

I don't want to just leave them with a sitter.

That's you.

Wow, I didn't think you could say anything shittier

than you said last night.

You should have been this aggressive in your career.

Okay, that's very nice. Very mature.

They went back and forth like that for a while.

All the while, Toby tried to remember

exactly what he'd said last night that was so bad.

[ Garbled speech ]

But he couldn't remember.

I just can't believe you would do that to the kids.

Like, waking them up like that.

I have to secure my oxygen mask, you know, before theirs.

Of course, your oxygen, I forgot.

Listen, it's been a hard month. I just need some me time.

I-I ha-- All of your time is you time, Rachel.

These days, he only ever said her name

at the end of sentences.

Alright, I got to go, okay? I'm running late now.

Which was just as well because his boner was gone.

[ Sighs ]

♪♪♪

Alright, come on, guys. Let's go.

[ Coffee grinding ]

[ Groans ]

I'm so tired.

Well, I am excited 'cause I get you a full day early.

And here, I think your mother left some clothes for you here.

There you go.

These are for the Hamptons. These aren't for camp.

The subtext of everything Hannah said these days was,

"You fucking idiot."

I wanted Corn Chex, not Flakes.

You fucking idiot.

Okay.

Mm, Hannah, these corn flakes are amazing.

You have to try them.

Okay. Alright.

Mwah!

Thank you, buddy.

♪♪♪

We got to go. We got to go.

Come on, come on.

Of all the ways Toby so far resented

Rachel's mismanagement of that morning,

the biggest was an unplanned visit to that den of dread,

that locus of a late-capitalist society, the 92nd Street Y.

Forget what you know about Y's in general,

this place with its ridiculous parent population

and a nursery school you had to put your kids

on the waiting list for at conception

was as infected by the Upper East Side

as anything else that came into contact with it.

Okay, bye, Hannah.

Toby, hey. Fancy seeing you here.

Hey. Where's Rachel?

Working as always? [ Chuckles ] Yeah.

Agency won't run itself, I guess.

Hey, that's her line.

Rachel was a theater agent, best known as the person

who discovered Alejandra Lopez, the creator of "Presidentrix!"

It was so brilliant that it set

the New York theater-going world on fire

and reinvented Broadway.

"Presidentrix!" was everywhere.

There were parodies.

Alejandra: You're just the wife!

I'm just [Clears throat] I'm just something.

Alright, look, hold your applause.

Libby: And, oh, boy was there some merch.

Take care. Thanks, yeah.

She had a swear on her shirt.

Yeah, ignore it.

Okay, I'll see you later, Solly.

You're picking us up? Not Mona?

Yeah, it's all me.

Cyndi: Toby.

I keep meaning to reach out to you.

How are you doing? How are the kids doing?

Ah, well, we're okay. I mean, it's a change, for sure.

I've been waiting to run into you

to tell you myself what I hope you already know,

but we're not leaving your life.

We're not going anywhere, Toby.

We are your friends too.

It never didn't shock him that this

was who Rachel cared about.

As a measure of self protection,

Toby thought about a physical therapist

he had slept with a few nights before.

He couldn't quite remember her name.

Jamie? Jasmine?

Jill?

Had things been hard long?

Um...yes. I mean, no.

I mean, it wasn't like a -- like a spur-of-the-moment decision or anything,

if that's what you're asking.

But Cyndi wanted information.

These days, everyone did.

Well, did you have a date night?

Were you fighting at that parent-teacher conference?

But you looked so happy at the spring gala.

The questions were never really about the Fleishmans,

but about the person's own marriage.

Do we argue too much? Are our fights too vicious?

Do we have enough sex? Are we too miserable?

How miserable is too miserable?

Jenny!

The physical therapist's name was Jenny!

Well, obviously the girls are still thick as thieves.

So you can count on us to make sure nothing changes that.

[ Train whistle chime ] Sorry. Uh...

We're here for you.

Ah!

Tess: [ British accent ] Hoping we're still on for tonight.

Sorry, this is work. I have, um -- I have a biopsy.

You're still at the hospital?

Well, you know, people are still getting sick, so,

supply and demand. Yeah.

Yeah, anyway, it was great to see you.

Hey, look, really, really, we got to do dinner

sometime with the kids

'cause we had so much fun last time.

But had they?

It's 40 years old. It's made by these Roman monks.

They only make eight cases a year.

Mm. I taste that.

Mm-hmm. I want in.

I have a hookup. Can't say who.

Come on, man.

It was the same crowd every time.

Rachel's school-mom friends whose husbands

were a chronic condition that Toby had to manage.

There was Todd Leffer, who was a portfolio manager

at a distressed debt fund

and who didn't not have a photo of himself

next to a dead giraffe and a live Trump son.

There was Rich Hertz, whose name was literally Rich

and whose father had made his fortune in the '80s

by buying up life insurance policies

on people who had AIDS.

And then there was the alpha homecoming king,

Sam Rothberg, a vice president at a pharmaceutical company

who rose to prominence pushing Vicodin

on every housewife in the country,

except for his own wife,

who was already besotted with Xanax.

So, um, how's the liver business, my man?

Well, you know, people still get sick, so...

You know what? Let me ask you something, Toby.

If your kids said that they wanted to get into medicine,

what would you say?

No, no, no, you don't get it, okay?

It was an insult. He was insulting me, alright?

This is the guy who made his money by buying up

underwater mortgages in states with expedited eviction laws

so they can kick out the tenants and go condo.

And he thinks he could ask me

if I would ever lead my poor children into my shameful life?

Well, would you?

Toby: Mrs. Fields. Hi.

This is Dr. Fleishman. Is now a good time?

By the time he was done with his residency,

medicine had undergone such upheaval

that suddenly even being a specialist

at a top hospital in Manhattan

wouldn't earn enough to offer Rachel the lifestyle

to which she so badly wanted to become accustomed.

[ Sighs ]

She never understood that his job was its own reward

and its own comfort.

Particularly in those first delicate weeks

following his divorce.

And Clay, what is the most common vascular mass?

Uh, hepatocellular carcinoma.

That would be correct if a hepatocellular carcinoma

were either vascular or the most common anything.

It's hemangioma.

I'm sorry, Clay. I, um...

Listen, guys, I don't know if this is, like,

an appropriate thing, but I'm gonna say it anyway.

I'm getting a divorce.

I don't mean to be an asshole. If I am, forgive me.

Are you okay? Yeah, I'm okay.

So, uh, what are you doing now?

We saw a psychologist to figure out

how to make sure the kids are okay with everything.

I moved into a new place recently.

Great, but are you -- are you on the apps yet?

What?

Okay, this is gonna be fun.

I had a Jdate account when people had --

Do people have Jdate accounts? This is totally different.

It's not that different. It's still scary.

Well, you still do it.

Yes, I do.

Okay, so there's a couple.

Yeah. Okay, and what is this?

Sorry, what am I looking at?

So that's her lighthouse.

Her lighthouse? Mm-hmm.

You know, uh, it's to indicate a person's readiness.

Her readiness?

Like if she's available.

Okay. And horny.

Okay, wait, sorry. You do this too?

You see what I mean?

Okay. Thank you. I'm gonna -- we'll table this.

Uh, we have patients to get to. Right, right.

Uh, those lives will not save themselves, right?

Get me to the OR, stat.

I mean, you are playing God.

Yeah, no one's dying tonight. Not on my watch.

He watched the apps passively for a week or two,

not engaging at all...

See you Monday.

...until one weekend.

Rachel had taken the kids out to the Hamptons.

It was his first-ever weekend without them,

and he missed them so much he thought he might die.

[ Woman vocalizing rhythmically ]

♪♪♪

The app asked him, "What is your fave movie?"

Toby: "The Graduate."

It was "Twister."

The app asked him,

"How do you like to spend a rainy Saturday?"

Doing a crossword puzzle.

Watching porn and masturbating?

"Fave food?"

Caesar salad. With shrimp.

It was steamed chicken and vegetables --

no sauce, no oil.

"What is your sun, moon, and ascendant?"

What is an ascendant?

Maybe he had tried to pump himself up in some answers,

but he'd been honest about the important stuff.

And then it asked, "How single are you?"

I'm divorced.

That was true.

The app needed a pic.

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

[ Vocalizing continues ]

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

[ Chimes ]

Hey, you. Hi. Hi.

Hi. How are you?

Tongue emoji. You're cute.

You're a doctor?

Good for you. Vampire emoji.

Where do you live? Where do you live?

I live in Brooklyn. I have a place in Queens.

Like a doctor in a hospital or a doctor of English?

Octopus emoji. Remind me where the liver is?

If you're an asshole... Please know I've been down that road before.

And, no, thank you. I grew up in LA, too.

Libby: Well, friends, he lost a full Saturday right there.

Sitting here alone.

So I went into social work. And I miss it all the time.

I think I've had too much to drink.

Fingers-crossed emoji.

Libby: And then the whole weekend.

Winding down with a glass of wine.

I'm into older guys. You remind me of someone.

Grandpa emoji. You're hot.

"Angry with possible smoke coming from sides of the mouth" emoji...

You have to understand that Toby was not exactly

a desired property in his youth.

You're so handsome.

Where have you been all my life?

"Possible samba and evening gown" emoji.

Glass of milk emoji.

Enough about me. What about you?

My dad was a doctor, too.

Purple-devil emoji.

By late Sunday, his cheeks hurt from expressing joy and wonder.

His wrist and hand were sore from repetitive stress.

So, am I going to get to see that cute face soon?

But then, he suddenly realized...this was real,

very little on earth stands still,

that forward momentum is always available

to pluck you from your sadness

and invite you to rejoin the living.

Tess: So, am I seeing you -- question mark, question mark.

Don't leave me hanging, cutie.

Toby: Sorry. Yes.

Looking forward to it.

[ Cellphone rings ] Oh, shit. Yeah. Joanie.

Hi. Yeah, I am on my way up.

Look at that.

Look at that. It's good as new.

Mm. No scarring.

It's like nothing ever happened.

Huh. Y-You have to love the liver.

I mean, seriously, show me a more life-affirming organ.

I mean, look at it. Look what it -- Look what it can recover from.

We should all be more like the liver.

Livers behave in some erratic ways --

I mean, all the organs do, but the liver is unique

in the way that it heals.

It's full of forgiveness, you know?

It understands that you need a few chances

before you get your life right.

And it doesn't just forgive you -- you know, it --

you know, it practically forgets.

Libby: On the darkest days of his marriage,

Toby attended to his hospital business.

Out of the corner of his eyes was always the liver,

whispering to him that one day there would not be much sign

of all of this damage, that he would regenerate too.

Toby, we have a new patient up from the E.R.

Oh, that's great. Yeah. Let's go.

I'm a liver specialist.

I was called in because your wife is jaundiced.

Right. Okay.

Do you want to -- you want to tell us what happened?

She was slurring, uh, a little, and not making sense.

She was clumsier than usual.

Um, finally, I said we should go to s-see a doctor.

And then we got in the car, and on the way,

s-she, uh -- she passed out.

Maybe she's asleep?

Uh, well -- well, we're gonna figure that out.

She's in good hands now.

Nurse Ortiz is going to show you to our family lounge,

and we are going to examine your wife

and figure out what's going on here.

So, what's going on here?

Yeah, it's alcoholic cirrhosis. She went on a bender.

Probably been a secret drinker for years.

Okay. You seem pretty sure about that. Joanie?

He said she was slurring.

Okay. Uh, what did he actually say?

Uh, he said she was clumsy and slurring.

She's a drunk.

Phillip. I'm sorry.

Alcoholic. A person with alcoholism.

An alcoholic-American. Yeah, okay.

Listen, the husband, he said

that she was clumsier than usual.

So whatever this is, it's been going on longer

than just the last week.

Uh, what else? Uh, is she on an antidepressant?

She's on Zoloft as of a month ago.

How'd you know that?

Get her internist on the phone.

Okay.

You saw her a month ago, and you prescribed Zoloft.

Man: Well, she said she was feeling down.

Her AST/ALT wasn't elevated?

I didn't check LFTs. You didn't check.

Okay, well, she has an AST of 145

and an ALT of 103 and a bili of 14.

She is en-- encephalopathic and coagulopathic.

Her total cholesterol is 98. She's in liver failure.

She's as yellow as a highlighter.

Listen, my whole practice is these women in their 40s

who suddenly become depressed and start drinking

more than they should at lunch.

Really? Okay, well, good for you.

I got to go treat your patient now. [ Clicks ]

Sorry. You shouldn't do that.

Alright, here's the thing -- This woman's doctor could have helped her

if he had actually taken her seriously.

You know, she wouldn't be having neurological symptoms,

and she probably wouldn't have a failing liver.

Guys, insurance is not going to pay for more than 15 minutes.

You still have to listen. Okay?

You have to take that time as a loss.

You have to ask questions and give a shit.

Toby: What did our friend Dr. Osler say?

You remember? Mm-hmm.

Listen to the patient.

She is telling you her diagnosis.

Okay. So go ahead. Look harder.

Joanie: Oh, my God.

Patient has a ring of copper around her iris.

It's Wilson's.

Yeah. Yeah. I've only seen it once before.

Oh!

Do you see that? God, it's...

It's so beautiful. Yeah.

As life-threatening diseases go, it is a pretty one.

It means her body doesn't process copper.

So usually it presents as what you called clumsiness.

And then all it takes is one big night of drinking

for something like this to happen.

She went to, uh, Vegas with friends last weekend

for, like, a bachelorette thing.

Okay, so that's actually really good to know.

And Dr. Clifton here will take a --

a more detailed history, okay?

And what do I do?

Well, you call your job and tell them you need a few days off,

and then you call your family and friends

and tell them what's going on so they can help with your kids.

And we will tell you when we know something, alright?

Alright. Take care.

Thanks. Yeah.

So, never?I'm a middle-aged housewife now. I've been domesticated.

You're a legend.

Not -- Not pot? Not even cigarettes?

Cigarettes? Hey.

Are you crazy?

What would the other mothers even say about me?

I'd be a pariah.

Do you realize that the only thing our Libby here

ever inhales into her lungs anymore is the New Jersey pollution?

Yes. She grew up. As a doctor, I endorse this. Thank you.

I knew this guy who lived literally beneath a cave --

not in it, beneath it -- in Argentina.

And he grew this one strain of pot

that he combined with this extract,

so you're high, but you don't know you're high.

Sorry. Uh, what does that even mean?

But I think I want to know if I'm high.

Am I -- Am I high right now? Am I high right now?

No. Mm. I'd be hungrier if I were high.

I'm not. Not hungry?

Telltale sign.

You ready? Wait a minute. I am hungry.

Um... Tuna sandwich, please.

Yeah, thanks. Wait. Yeah. Excuse me.

Sorry, I don't know if you realize this,

but the American Medical Association

now recommends eating tuna fish like once a month, if that.

Got it. Well, those people are animals,

so a tuna sandwich would be amazing.

Thank you.

I'm gonna have the Lumberjack,

and can I have a grilled cheese on the side?

Wow. Child.

Uh, I will have the spinach and egg-white omelet,

uh, no butter and very little oil.

Woman: French fries or home fries?

[ Laughs ] Um, no, no, neither.

And no bread, please.

I love it. Woman: Okay.

Thank you.

Libby: The three of us had been getting together regularly

for the first time in years,

ever since Toby called to tell us

that he was getting a divorce.

So it's crazy because, when you're in space,

no matter where you are,

you feel like you're in the center.

Have you considered that maybe

you shouldn't have been a lawyer?

Only every day.

How was your day?

Fine. It was nothing. [ Cellphone vibrating ]

Toby Fleishman?

Toby: Elizabeth Slater. Toby Fleishman.

God!

It's Epstein now, but, yeah, hi!

Hi? Hello.

I am calling to tell you that I am getting a divorce.

I am doing this on the advice of a therapist,

who thinks it would be healing for me

to reach out to the people who I haven't seen

since my marriage was falling apart.

I was stunned.

I'm stunned.

I just moved out.

I have the kids, uh, every other weekend

and on weekdays when she's working late.

It was hard for a long time.

Uh, we actually went to a couples' therapist

who said that we have three of the four horsemen

of the marital apocalypse.

Whoa. W-What are those?

Contempt, I think, was the first one.

Defensiveness. and, uh, shutting down.

You know what? I can't even remember the fourth one.

Was it... being a total fucking bitch?

[ Laughs ] Wow!

Elizabeth. Uh, maybe.

I hated her. I mean, I-I-I...

Can I -- Can I say that?

I know -- I-I know I just said that,

but, like, can I say that?

[ Chuckles ] Yeah, I know, I know.

It's been a while, Elizabeth. What, like 10 years?

Or 12?

It's been since you didn't bother showing up to my wedding.

So 12 years.

I'm so sorry. It was -- It was so hard.

Yeah, I mean, you s--

uh, you should have called me, you know?

It was a nightmare. We would fight in public.

I'm -- I'm so sorry.

I couldn't.

You still should have called me.

We made arrangements to see each other immediately,

and I took a brief shore leave from my life

as a housewife in New Jersey to come into the big city.

Hi.

Hi. Whew.

Hello. Hi.

Okay. Come on. Come on in. Yeah. Let's hug, let's hug.

Should we get something to eat?

Uh, no, no. I'm good. I ate on Tuesday.

Ah.

Are you doing okay?

Yes, I am okay. Okay.

I don't know. I worry about the kids.

I hate weekends when I don't have them.

I freak out when I wake up in my new apartment,

which, by the way, is like a --

a hovel compared to the palace I just moved out of.

Sure. Seriously.

But... I think I'm past the hard part.

And, um, yeah, I think I'm, like,

actually up to the interesting part.

Look at this.

What is that?

It's like a bevy of interested sexual partners

that comprises the underlayer of this city, apparently.

I don't know. Might have been here forever.

Toby Fleishman. Hot damn.

Can you imagine all those years

I couldn't even get return eye contact, and...

I cannot believe that this is where life has deposited you.

Listen, I know it feels like we haven't been in touch,

but I get the magazine, and I look, like,

every month for your name, and I read the stories,

and, Lib, it is like your voice in my ears.

Uh...

I'm -- I'm proud of you, you know?

Yeah. I'm not at the magazine anymore.

I'm not anywhere anymore.

This is... Yeah.

Our friend Seth had fewer questions.

Dude. Mm.

The world is your oyster now. Lick it up.

I'm trying, you know, to -- Hey, hey, I have a great idea.

Yeah. Go to your apartment, put on shorts.

Why? We're gonna go to yoga.

It's -- It's Saturday night.

It's Saturday afternoon. Trust me.

What? I can't. I just had a drink.

The place I go to is owned by a guy who trained under Bikram.

He started a splinter group that nearly brought

the Indian political system to its knees.

Really? Yes.

Do you know who goes to yoga?

Girls. Yeah, right.

Going to yoga is shorthand for showing a woman

how evolved you are and how not set you are

on maintaining the patriarchy she so loathes and fears.

No, I can't. I got to get home to the kids.

And aren't you dating someone anyway?

I'm doing this for you, not me.

Oh. How high is your closing rate?

It's like 60%. It's 30%.

I don't know. I can't keep track.

You should be at 100%.

You should only be closing right now.

You are prime time now. You are golden.

Are you being too picky? No.

I'd put my penis in a he-donkey right now. That's how picky I'm being.

[ Laughs ] So what's the problem?

The problem? I don't know.

I'm getting out of a 15-year marriage

to a woman who wouldn't let me pee standing up.

I have -- I have some healing to do.

Mm. I really missed you, man.

Go put those shorts on.

Then Toby invited us to his new place

when his kids were with Rachel one weekend,

the three of us together for the first time in 15 years.

You didn't want to move downtown?

You know, my kids are up here, and I work across the park,

so I'm kind of like a -- a prisoner

of the Upper East Side until the --

till The Hague mandates that I can leave.

You need new shades.

Yes, I know. I also need a new toaster.

You know who has a good toaster? Rachel.

Well, I pronounce this place completely delightful.

I love this apartment.

It reminds me of, uh, the first place

Adam and I had together.

Yeah? Mm-hmm.

It reminds me of our dorm room in Israel.

Very mean. I mean, I love it.

I mean, I hated the place that Rachel put us in.

Had these high ceilings. Ugh.

And they made the doormen dress like

they were in the military.

[ Chuckles ]

Divorce is like that old Othello game, you know?

You start your marriage with all the disks white, right?

And then there are some black disks

here and there along the way.

You know, you fight, but ultimately, you laugh

and it's fine because the board is still mostly white, right?

But then something happens and the marriage falls apart,

and suddenly the entire board is black.

Is that how you play Othello?

They should probably change the name.

Othello, you know?

Yeah, so now even the good memories

are, like, tinged with darkness.

You know, they're tainted. Like they were rotten from the start.

Not all of them.

Yes, man, all of them. Okay?

Now you look back on all those memories --

like the fight you had on the honeymoon,

the way you couldn't agree on, like, a name for your child --

and suddenly they're no longer innocuous fights anymore.

Now they're foreshadowing.

I think when we get married, we really have no way

to fully understand what -- what forever means, you know?

That's what I'm always saying. Marriage is for suckers.

How are you going to know how you're going to feel

in three times the amount of years you've been alive for?

You were how old when you got married?

26. 30.

30. I mean, has your brain even stopped growing at 30?

Does your brain grow?

Seriously, I was ridiculous in my 20s.

Who would I have married?

What kind of decision or choice would I have made?

You grow up. You change.

It's like the show "Friends."

I used to like "Friends" when it first came out.

Now I hear that opening music -- it makes me want to kill myself.

You definitely should not watch "Friends."

What I'm saying is I keep seeing people

outgrow the people that they were with,

and now all the guys at work -- my work --

are these, like, miserable, desperate creatures

who get way too wasted at other people's bachelor parties

because they're dreading going home.

But you know what? Mm.

I was at their weddings. I saw them.

They were in love. They were happy that day.

You and Rachel were happy that day.

Yeah, we were. Yeah, you really were.

So how could an intelligent observer of this

ever decide to choose it?

Mm.

Are you still going to therapy?

No. The apps are like my therapy.

It's like group therapy, except at the end of the session,

you get to put your penis in the therapist's mouth.

My therapist does that.

So we met, and we laughed.

And in our laughter, I heard something dangerous,

which was the sound of our youth.

Which landed us here on the day

that Rachel dropped the kids off at Toby's apartment

a full day earlier than expected.

She just does whatever the hell she wants.

Like, seriously, I shouldn't even been surprised to see our kids,

like, sleep-marched over to the apartment

at 4:00 in the morning -- 4:00 in the morning!

Sorry. I'm angry all over again.

I don't know. I thought she would at least be a good, like, divorce partner.

Why would you ever think that? She was a terrible wife.

Yeah. No, I know.

I thought we had some kind of, like, gentlemen's agreement

where we'd put each other through enough -- thank you --

and, you know, we could at least be normal to each other.

No. Thanks.

But what I remember is that I'm normal,

and she's crazy, and that's why this could never work out.

Oh, sorry. You know, actually, I had a date tonight.

Let me see.

Okay. Here you go.

Alright. What do you think of her? Oh, nice.

How old is she?

Let me see. Uh, I don't know.

She said she's 39. No.

No? She's not 39.

Weird fact about dating is no one is actually 39 or 29.

There's 40 or 30. Oh.

They shouldn't even let you use those ages

because they don't even exist.

Uh, how did it go with the zoologist?

It was actually really freaky. She wanted me to choke her.

What? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that happens all the time.

Women have been let loose. They are emancipated.

That is the opposite of emancipation.

They're just doing that because they saw it in porn.

What did you do? I told her I couldn't do it.

I told her I took an oath.

I mean, I'm serious. A person could die like that.

I told her that.

What does your oath say about her being a naughty girl

who needs some very light spanking?

[ Laughs ] Come on. Come on. No, no, no.

What were we talking about?

Ages. Oh, yeah. Right.

When I was on the apps... Yeah.

...I'd put my search interest from 21 to 28.

That way, the oldest woman I would get is 35.

That's how you beat the system. Stop it.

Truthfully, I don't really like the younger women.

You don't? No.

I mean, hey, come on, you know, we're not that old, you know?

I don't think women our age are old.

I just think the younger ones hate us less.

Have you thought that all the way through?

Am I wrong?

I don't know.

I'm just -- you know, it makes a girl start to wonder

how she might do on the produce market.

Aw. You don't have to worry about it.

You're married. He was married.

I actually did go out on a couple dates

with a 25-year-old until I changed

my search parameters to 39 to 47 --

you know, 'cause I'm not gonna marry these women.

If they want to have kids, I don't want to waste their time.

But also [Chuckles]

You know, also, I -- I can't be with someone

right now who doesn't understand the nature of consequences.

You know, how the world will have its way with you

despite your careful planning and good behavior.

Yikes, dude. I know. I'm sorry.

I'm just so angry at Rachel right now,

who is old enough to understand the nature of consequences.

And yet! And yet!

Uhh...

May the townsfolk know of her promiscuity

and stone her in the square.

No, that is not nice. That is not nice.

May the next man... Yeah?

...who visits her undercarriage...

Oh! Yes.

...have a big sneeze. Oh, no. Please, please.

And the sneeze travels up her vagina... No, no.

Oh, my God. ...and causes an embolism.

That's not how embolisms...

I'm pretty sure that's how embolism works.

Thank you for taking my side. Anytime.

Mm. Okay.

I should go. I should go.

You guys can split that.

Yeah. Thanks so much.

Thank you.

Alright. Love you.

Okay. Bye.

Uh, bye. Bye-bye.

Hey! Was today good? Mm. Hello to you.

There's a STEM contest at the Y.

Mm-hmm. Can we enter it?

If you win, you get to be in a science fair in September.

Yeah, I think we can arrange that.

I have what Mom calls the "competitive edge"

because I have a science dad.

O-Okay. Oh, here comes the bus.

Hey, what's going on?

I'm not going on the bus.

Hannah. Come on.

No.

You're so embarrassing.

Okay. This is nonsense.

Hannah, come with us right now,

or you're not going to Lexi's tomorrow.

Can we just take a cab?

Look, you have to be able to, like, live among people

without wanting or needing to be like them.

Alright? You have to know our values.

Not wanting to be seen on a bus --

that's not a good value, Hannah.

Not wanting to take a bus is not a good value

for like a million reasons.

Hey, Dad. Yeah?

Can I get golf lessons?

G-- You want golf -- Yeah.

Yeah, sure. I'll look into it, buddy.

For the 10th time that day,

Toby was forced to ask the question that occurred

to him nearly every few minutes since his separation --

How did I get here?

How did I become a divorced guy?

How could my kids be so much like these people

when they also so resembled me?

How did he get here?

Solly: Hey, Dad? Yes.

I think I found our project.

Can we do quantum superposition?

Uh, it's like, uh, Schroedinger's cat.

Yeah, maybe, I just don't want to be killing any living things.

There's no way to do it without a dead cat?

I don't know. Listen, we'll figure something out, okay?

Hey, Dad? Yeah.

Can we get a dog?

Oh, God. Are you serious?

Uh, I don't know. Check with your mother.

Um, I got to get -- I got to get changed.

Where are you going? He's going on a date.

Thank you, Hannah. What?

Don't you want to work on our project, though?

Yeah, I do. You know how, like, you have play dates with your friends?

Adults have those, too. And it's -- it's healthy.

It's, like, normal. [ Door opens ]

Yeah. Mona. Mona!

Thank you so much for coming.

Hi! I really do appreciate it.

Hi, Mona.

Hey, babe. Nice to see you.

Oh, Mona, you're a lifesaver.

Man: You can have a costume party on a day other than Halloween.

Guess I should be punished.

Mm. Well, that can be arranged.

Whoa! Hey, is this really the best thing to watch right now?

You ruin everything.

Okay.

Libby: He had emerged that summer like a newborn baby seal

with his eyes clamped shut.

But now they were open, and he was a student again.

And in the short time, he had learned a million new things.

Among them was the fact

that if you skew your vision just right,

you could see the world as his dating app presented it,

with New York as a city full of people

with only one imperative --

to fuck or lick or suck or finger or apply hot breath

to a warm body with a compatible schedule.

Okay, okay.

As he tried to get his bearings these last few months,

he enjoyed the simplicity of that.

Hey. Are you Alex?

I'm -- No, I'm -- I'm Toby.

Yeah, of course you are.

And he learned that he wasn't alone in his search for someone

to talk to and kiss and ignite,

even if it was just for a night.

He was meeting a woman named Tess

that he'd been exchanging dirty messages with for a week.

He tried to remember what she looked like,

but she'd sent too many pictures of body parts in the meantime,

and he realized he'd lost the plot on her face.

Tess: Bicep emoji.

Shrug with "What are you gonna do?"-arms emoji.

Hi. Hi.

He turned 50 and got depressed,

so I sent him on a survival skills weekend

with a famous life coach.

It cost $10,000 for a weekend.

Oh, my God.

She's a shaman now. I would hope so.

Well, he comes back and says

he wants to start having threesomes.

I'm surprised.

But I also think, "Look at this beautiful life he's given me."

So I say sure.

You know, we'll need some rules, but why not?

I'm not dead yet.

Well, that is very generous of you.

Well, turns out he wants to have threesomes with other women.

Mm-hmm. Two other women.

None of them me. No. No. That is insane.

Wait, so the life coach told him to do this?

She told him to live his truth or whatever.

His truth?

I swear, you think you know someone,

and then they go and do something

you could not have predicted in your wildest dreams.

Boy, isn't that the truth? That's -- That's my truth.

So, um, how did you guys meet?

You know, it's funny. In a threesome.

[ Moaning ]

Libby: But what Toby really learned the whole summer

was that he was wanted again.

Toby! Oh, oh, yes!

He was wanted on top.

He was wanted on bottom.

♪ We got things we got to catch up on ♪

Get down.

They wanted him on all fours, which was new for him.

Yes, ma'am.

♪ You know what I'm sayin' ♪

They wanted him to go slower.

Ohh! Ohh!

They wanted him to go faster.

They wanted to know if he was gonna come hard.

They wanted him to come to Mommy.

They wanted to call him Daddy.

[ Moaning ]

♪♪♪

[ Smacking ]

♪ She got the way to move me ♪

[ Moaning ]

♪ She got the way to groove me ♪

[ Moans ]

[ Heavy breathing ]

He was madly in love with each of them.

♪ No, we won't tell a soul where we gone to ♪

On these nights, he didn't wonder why

this had happened to him.

Albert. My man.

On these nights, he was grateful life was long

and he got to experience all of these new things.

He had been so lost.

And each night, he became just a little more found.

♪ She got the way to groove me ♪

♪ Cherry ♪ ♪ She got the way to grove me ♪

I know! We can do relativity. Yeah. Yeah. It's actually not a bad idea.

[ Train whistle chime ] Hannah: Oh!

That might be for me.

Tess: "Good morning, Doctor."

Ugh. W-Who's -- Who's Tess?

Tess? Oh, she's a resident. She's a fellow.

She's a -- She's a, um -- She's a new patient.

She's a good patient.

That was fun last night.

I just bought a piece of filthy lingerie

that I think you'll enjoy removing.

Cat-with-heart-eyes emoji.

Poison-skull emoji. Robot-arm emoji.

I found a corner! Yeah, I'll be right there.

Toby: How's tomorrow night? Dad.

Tess: My kids will be here. Your place?

Two pieces that connect! I got it, buddy.

Thumbs-up emoji. Say, 6:00?

See if I can find another one.

Yeah. Just hold on to it, kiddo.

866 East 91st Street. Anytime after 5:00.

Laughing-and-crying emoji.

What if I need to call you?

I'm sure the Leffers have a landline.

Or you could use Cyndi's phone.

Also, you've never called me from a sleepover, ever.

Can't you just get me a phone?

I will get you a phone on your 12th birthday.

That's in four months.

Well, then, you get to be my baby for four more months.

Ugh!

Libby: On their way to the sleepover at the Leffers',

Toby felt the same anxiety he always felt

leaving his daughter on the frontlines

of a social war zone.

But he was momentarily distracted

as they passed a brownstone doorway

that he'd ended up getting a handjob in a week ago

from a writer he'd been out with.

Is it too late to switch my Bat Mitzvah venue?

Oh, um, you know, I think we already printed up invitations,

and there's a deposit.

I still don't have a dress.

Hey, it's not till November. And you know your haftarah.

That's the most important thing.

Sure, Dad.

♪♪♪

[ Doorbell rings ]

Fleishmans! Hello!

Hi, Mrs. Leffer.

Hi, honey. Lexi!

Hannah, you have to see this.

Hello, Dr. Fleishman. Hi, Lexi.

Hey, Hannah, if you need me, j-- honey, j-- yeah, okay.

So, big plans for you boys tonight?

We're going book shopping.

Nice.

How's the good doctor?

Oh, Toby.

We were going to have you and the kids

to the club next weekend,

but Todd says you don't play tennis or golf?

Mm, yeah, I play basketball.

No kidding? Mm.

Fuck you, Todd. Mm-hmm.

Good for you.

You ever get an outdoor handjob, Todd?

Well, okay, I think Rachel

will be picking up the girls tomorrow

to take them to the show at about 4:00.

"You're just the wife." [ Laughs ]

Uh, curtain's at 7:00.

And, uh, Rachel has reservations at Joe Allen.

Isn't she the nicest?

Well, you call Hannah if you need anything, okay?

Actually, she doesn't have a phone yet.

Toby? Yeah?

Get that girl a phone! [ Chuckles ]

You boys have a good night, okay?

Bye, guys. Bye, Solly.

Toby: Leffers expecting you at 4:00 for Joe Allen and show.

Hey, what do you got?

Let's see -- "4,000 Facts About the Universe."

This is good.

And this for relati--

No, this one's more for grown-ups.

They don't have so many relativity books for kids.

Well, yeah, but that makes sense.

Okay, go with those.

Solly: Alright, we'll take these two.

Man: Alright. Is that gonna be it for you?

[ Line ringing ] Yeah.

Rachel: You've reached Rachel Fleishman.

If this is urgent, you can call my assistant Simone at --

So the same thing happens at the same time.

Mm-hmm.

But if someone else observes it at a different angle...

Yeah. Yeah. It means it's also true, though.

Here. Um, you know what?

Put out -- Put out your thumb like this.

Yeah. Good.

Now, uh -- Now close your right eye.

Yeah. Good. Now close your left.

It's weird, right?

It's like a different perspective,

but they're both reality.

Libby: Suddenly it occurred to Toby

that he hadn't heard a thing from Rachel

since their phone conversation on Friday morning.

Toby: Question mark. Question mark.

Where are you, Rachel?

It's Sunday. I am so sick of this shit.

[ Woman vocalizing rhythmically ]

[ Train whistle chime ]

Cyndi: Hey, Toby, it's 4:30,

and I haven't heard from Rachel,

and Todd and I have to head out for a golf tournament.

We got to go. Come on, we got to go.

Look, your dad's here now. Hey. Where's Mom?

Yeah, Mom's running late.

I think her yoga retreat ran over.

I don't know. Maybe they -- Hi.

Yeah. Maybe they all fell asleep.

That's not funny. Yeah. I don't know.

Listen, she would not miss this. It's her work.

Why don't you girls come back to my place

and she can pick you up from there?

No, no, I am not taking Lexi to your apartment.

Hey, how about you're not going anywhere if you keep this up?

Oh, my God.

Libby: It was right then that Toby started to wonder

whether it was weird that he hadn't heard from her

since their conversation on Friday morning.

No dismissive eye-rolling, no middle-finger emoji,

no three dots.

She wouldn't just blow him off.

She wouldn't reserve seats for a show

that she helped put up and leave the box office hanging.

She wouldn't even let the maître d' at Joe Allen down.

Toby, yes. The Joe Allen maître d', no.

What? [ Cellphone rings ]

Oh. Hi.

This is where your dad lives?

Oh, it's -- it's just temporary.

It's not temporary. Can't really talk right now.

Okay.

Okay, bye.

[ Car approaching ]

Hi.

How was your day in the actual world?

You didn't miss anything.

The real world is highly overrated.

How was everything here in paradise, huh?

Lately I couldn't stop thinking about Toby on his dates.

Coming home alone, coming home with someone.

I didn't have a thing for him,

and I didn't want to be divorced.

It's that Toby's life was no longer predictable.

He had somehow had the sense of possibility returned to him.

I'd been feeling so old.

Here was Toby, exact same age,

just realizing how young he was.

I couldn't believe that it was possible for two people

to be the same age and feel so different.

Which one of us was right?

Which is a way of saying that I was going through

something too right then, but I couldn't name it yet.

Are you Elizabeth Slater?

I was.

Sign this, please.

Yeah.

Thanks. Thank you.

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

But this isn't about me.

Okay, I don't know what you think you're doing,

but I have two kids dressed for the theater at my apartment

for a 7:00 curtain, and it is -- it is 5:55.

[ Knock on door ] Yeah. What? What?

Yeah? We already missed our reservation!

We're never gonna get there in time! Yeah.

I don't know where she is, okay?!

If I had a phone, she'd just pick up!

She hates you! Hannah! Enough!

[ Doorbell rings ] Oh, thank God! [ Laughs ]

Mom!

[ Screaming ] Oh, shit!

Toby! No, no, that's -- you're --

I am so sorry. I had a change of plans.

Whose kids are those? They're mine.

Well, one of them's a friend of my daughter's --

the tall one -- the blonde -- It doesn't matter.

I'm not here to be humiliated.

Yes, I'm not trying to humiliate you.

Tess, I am so sorry. Fuck off!

Yeah.

Dad. Dad. Where is Mom?

Yeah, that woman had the wrong apartment.

Hey, are you okay, buddy? [ Crying ]

She knew your name.

I don't know why I'm crying!

Oh, God. It's okay. I hate you.

Where is Mom? I don't know, Hannah!

Where is Mom?!

Toby: Where are you?

Libby: Where was she?

This is so embarrassing!

♪♪♪

[ Siren wails in distance ]

♪♪♪

[ Vocalizing ]

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

I need to change my custody agreement.

Rachel dropped the kids off with me

and never came to picked them up.

How do you want to adjust the agreement?

I want to make sure she has no access to the kids.

Like none. Like forever.

Sounds like you already have that.

Welp...I...

How did we all get this way?

Will... Yes!

Really? Yes!

How'd we get put on this trajectory?

We all ended up at the same boring life.

How was your day?

It was fine.

I don't remember.

We're a mess Dad.

The Fleishmans are a mess.

Hello.

What are you doing here?

A person needs a little bit of danger

in order to feel like she knows what matters.

Rachel Fleishman.

As I live and breathe.

Is this totally kosher, like watching two women...

Toby!

Yes.

Do you not have enough problems?

No, no. I have enough problems.

Enjoy this.

Is she up there?

She just got home.

You cannot just do whatever you want in this world.

That's not how it works.

You're a crazy little guy.