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1
00:00:01,514 --> 00:00:03,831
[CELL PHONES BEEPING]
2
00:00:03,856 --> 00:00:06,298
There's a tornado warning in effect
3
00:00:06,323 --> 00:00:08,679
and Flatch is in the projected path?
4
00:00:08,704 --> 00:00:11,896
Oh, my God. Run! Run! Take cover.
5
00:00:11,921 --> 00:00:15,906
Don't panic! We have to go underground!
No trampling!
6
00:00:15,931 --> 00:00:18,991
[WIND GUSTING]
7
00:00:22,576 --> 00:00:25,835
[OBJECTS CRASHING]
8
00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:28,418
So tomorrow's the big debate
for town selectperson.
9
00:00:28,512 --> 00:00:30,437
I'm killing it
as Barb's campaign manager...
10
00:00:30,589 --> 00:00:32,272
Putting up some extra signage, you know,
11
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:34,015
going out of the way. [CHUCKLES]
12
00:00:34,093 --> 00:00:37,611
I mean, we're totally going
to crush Mandy and Dylan.
13
00:00:37,763 --> 00:00:38,871
What are you doing here?
14
00:00:39,022 --> 00:00:41,098
Oh, I'm actually
minding my own business.
15
00:00:41,116 --> 00:00:42,190
Super fun. You should try it.
16
00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:43,725
No matter how many signs you put up,
17
00:00:43,750 --> 00:00:44,836
Barb and I are still going to beat you.
18
00:00:44,861 --> 00:00:47,880
Oh, right, like how you beat
me in eighth grade, right?
19
00:00:48,031 --> 00:00:49,456
The only reason you won class president
20
00:00:49,481 --> 00:00:51,056
was because you started a nasty rumor
21
00:00:51,081 --> 00:00:53,552
that my hamster had rabies
and told everyone I made out with it.
22
00:00:53,577 --> 00:00:55,653
Ew. That's ridiculous.
I would never say that.
23
00:00:55,678 --> 00:00:58,287
- [WHISTLE BLOWS]
- Vote Mandy!
24
00:00:59,773 --> 00:01:01,134
Mandy!
25
00:01:01,211 --> 00:01:02,969
[KEYBOARD PLAYING]
26
00:01:03,122 --> 00:01:05,472
"Mickey About Town" has the
scoop on all things political.
27
00:01:05,549 --> 00:01:07,140
With the debate
happening this afternoon,
28
00:01:07,293 --> 00:01:08,975
let's see what the candidates stand for.
29
00:01:09,128 --> 00:01:11,978
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
30
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? ?
31
00:01:14,967 --> 00:01:16,992
[GRUNTS]
32
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[DOGS BARKING]
33
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? ?
34
00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:34,151
New roads, new schools,
35
00:01:34,153 --> 00:01:38,505
new parks, and a new attitude.
36
00:01:38,657 --> 00:01:41,391
Barb Flatch just hits different.
37
00:01:43,086 --> 00:01:46,555
You can't spell "Flatch"
without Barb Flatch.
38
00:01:46,665 --> 00:01:49,182
? ?
39
00:01:49,335 --> 00:01:52,842
What a-a family. I'm a daddy,
40
00:01:52,867 --> 00:01:54,534
and I want to be Flatch's daddy.
41
00:01:54,931 --> 00:01:56,857
So true, babe. [CLEARS THROAT]
42
00:01:56,859 --> 00:01:59,767
What my husband was supposed to say
43
00:01:59,845 --> 00:02:02,604
is that Flatch is our family,
44
00:02:02,681 --> 00:02:04,957
and family is important.
45
00:02:05,184 --> 00:02:09,277
Would you trust your kids
to two women without kids?
46
00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:11,338
Pretty scary. [CHUCKLES]
47
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,175
Wow. Great videos.
48
00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:16,761
This race is going to be tight.
49
00:02:16,786 --> 00:02:20,180
Really looking forward
to the debate this afternoon.
50
00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:22,382
Hey, babe.
51
00:02:22,407 --> 00:02:24,241
How do I look?
52
00:02:24,370 --> 00:02:25,793
So cute.
53
00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:27,204
"Cute"?
54
00:02:27,222 --> 00:02:29,645
What am I, a toddler in a tiny Corvette?
55
00:02:29,670 --> 00:02:31,200
I am a professional, Joe.
56
00:02:31,225 --> 00:02:33,612
I am not some miniature horse
jumping over a [BLEEP] rainbow.
57
00:02:33,637 --> 00:02:35,762
That cute enough for you?
58
00:02:35,839 --> 00:02:38,553
[CHUCKLES] [DOOR SLAMS]
59
00:02:38,578 --> 00:02:41,493
Cheryl's in the middle of treatment
for her egg extraction,
60
00:02:41,518 --> 00:02:46,096
and her hormone levels
are a bit, um, elevated.
61
00:02:46,121 --> 00:02:47,904
It's been intense. [GIGGLES]
62
00:02:47,929 --> 00:02:51,837
A lot of ups and downs.
Sometimes I just cry for no reason.
63
00:02:52,064 --> 00:02:55,399
And sometimes I cry
because I cry so much.
64
00:02:55,401 --> 00:02:57,401
[SOBBING]
65
00:02:57,403 --> 00:02:59,252
I don't want her
to stress out, you know?
66
00:02:59,405 --> 00:03:01,254
So I just... I try to help where I can.
67
00:03:01,331 --> 00:03:03,757
No, stop trying to fix things, Joe.
68
00:03:03,782 --> 00:03:04,890
Thank you.
69
00:03:06,595 --> 00:03:09,021
I've rejuvenated
the real estate market here.
70
00:03:09,046 --> 00:03:10,396
I've beautified the town.
71
00:03:10,421 --> 00:03:11,983
I even have investors
come in to possibly build
72
00:03:12,008 --> 00:03:14,434
a butter bust museum
right here in Flatch.
73
00:03:14,586 --> 00:03:18,179
Okay, technically, the museum was me.
But if I've learned anything,
74
00:03:18,204 --> 00:03:20,521
it's that you never wake someone
while they're sleepwalking
75
00:03:20,569 --> 00:03:22,668
and you never interrupt
an alpha on a roll.
76
00:03:22,693 --> 00:03:24,203
Ask me some debate questions.
77
00:03:24,279 --> 00:03:26,521
What can you bring to Flatch?
78
00:03:26,598 --> 00:03:29,783
The real question is,
what can't I bring to Flatch?
79
00:03:29,935 --> 00:03:31,526
See what I did there. [GIGGLES]
80
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,620
That's my strategy... answer
a question with a question.
81
00:03:33,697 --> 00:03:35,530
You can never go wrong. Hit me again.
82
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:38,458
Do we need a light at the
corner of Lynnwood and Glen?
83
00:03:38,610 --> 00:03:41,327
Do you want a light at the
corner of Lynnwood and Glen?
84
00:03:41,352 --> 00:03:43,577
- Yes.
- Great. Let's do it.
85
00:03:43,602 --> 00:03:45,443
- Oh, my God.
- [LAUGHS]
86
00:03:45,468 --> 00:03:46,587
You're brilliant.
87
00:03:46,612 --> 00:03:48,595
Am I brilliant?
88
00:03:48,620 --> 00:03:49,953
I don't think I can do this.
89
00:03:49,978 --> 00:03:51,690
You know how uncomfortable
I am with public speaking...
90
00:03:51,715 --> 00:03:53,899
Uncomfortable?
I am eight months pregnant.
91
00:03:53,976 --> 00:03:56,707
My calves are ham hocks.
And every time I sneeze, I pee a little.
92
00:03:56,732 --> 00:03:59,606
So I think you can handle
a simple debate.
93
00:03:59,631 --> 00:04:02,085
Besides, even if you
can't speak, you're so cute.
94
00:04:02,110 --> 00:04:03,610
People are going to vote for you anyway.
95
00:04:03,635 --> 00:04:05,485
Um, I have prepared some note cards
96
00:04:05,562 --> 00:04:08,655
with just some stock answers
in case you get lost.
97
00:04:08,732 --> 00:04:11,141
All right, let's take a look.
98
00:04:11,159 --> 00:04:13,326
Oh, perfect.
99
00:04:13,403 --> 00:04:16,070
First we take Flatch,
then the governor's mansion.
100
00:04:16,090 --> 00:04:20,092
I have always wanted to be
Ohio's first family.
101
00:04:20,168 --> 00:04:24,154
Babe, where's the state of Ohio
flag pin I told you...
102
00:04:24,156 --> 00:04:25,322
- I got it.
- Oh.
103
00:04:25,324 --> 00:04:27,507
- Yeah.
- Uh, no.
104
00:04:27,659 --> 00:04:31,328
No, no. Um, uh, no.
That's an Ohio State University pin.
105
00:04:31,421 --> 00:04:32,604
- No, uh-uh.
- Ohio.
106
00:04:32,681 --> 00:04:35,590
I asked you to get
a state of Ohio flag pin.
107
00:04:35,667 --> 00:04:37,425
No one has ever won an Ohio election
108
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,260
without a state of Ohio flag pin.
109
00:04:39,285 --> 00:04:40,481
You know what? It's fine. It's fine.
110
00:04:40,506 --> 00:04:41,809
It's fine.
I'm just going to get you one.
111
00:04:41,834 --> 00:04:43,317
I'm going to get you one.
I'm going to get you one.
112
00:04:43,342 --> 00:04:44,599
Calm down. You calm down.
113
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,285
You better calm down
and get ready and calm down.
114
00:04:46,436 --> 00:04:49,346
[BREATHES SHAKILY]
Hey, excuse you. Baby on board.
115
00:04:49,348 --> 00:04:53,125
I need an Ohio flag pin. No one's
ever won an election without one.
116
00:04:53,201 --> 00:04:54,609
How do you know that?
117
00:04:54,686 --> 00:04:55,961
Bribe the janitor?
118
00:04:56,038 --> 00:04:57,871
[SCOFFS] No, that's cheating.
119
00:04:58,023 --> 00:04:59,856
I just... I Barbed him.
120
00:04:59,858 --> 00:05:01,616
You know, I told him that
any information he overheard
121
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:04,044
could be redeemed
for a new mop bucket...
122
00:05:04,196 --> 00:05:05,378
I mean, if I win, of course.
123
00:05:05,531 --> 00:05:08,548
No, I don't need a suit or a pin.
124
00:05:08,700 --> 00:05:10,550
I'm naturally presidential.
125
00:05:10,702 --> 00:05:13,979
My mom said when I was born,
the nurse saluted.
126
00:05:14,004 --> 00:05:15,182
[CHUCKLES]
127
00:05:15,207 --> 00:05:18,208
We're moments away
from a what's sure to be a fiery debate.
128
00:05:18,301 --> 00:05:20,134
But that's not the only storm brewing.
129
00:05:20,212 --> 00:05:22,062
[WIND GUSTING SOFTLY]
130
00:05:22,138 --> 00:05:24,548
Things are looking
pretty stormy out here, folks.
131
00:05:24,566 --> 00:05:26,575
Feels like tornado weather to me.
132
00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:35,559
As editor of the paper,
133
00:05:35,561 --> 00:05:39,504
I think that participating in
local government is so important,
134
00:05:39,731 --> 00:05:42,232
which is why I am moderating
the debate today.
135
00:05:42,234 --> 00:05:46,160
As former debate champ,
this is my time to shine.
136
00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:48,071
[CLICKING TONGUE] [FEEDBACK WHINES]
137
00:05:48,073 --> 00:05:50,567
Joe volunteered to help me
at the debate.
138
00:05:50,592 --> 00:05:53,852
At first, I was against it
'cause, you know, Joe can be a lot.
139
00:05:53,877 --> 00:05:55,710
- Oh, come on.
- You like to pull focus.
140
00:05:55,735 --> 00:05:58,762
But, um, you know, I could
really use his help
141
00:05:58,787 --> 00:06:02,102
in staying calm, because as
I've learned from my chickens,
142
00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:04,345
stress can greatly affect egg laying.
143
00:06:04,365 --> 00:06:05,847
- Yeah.
- I am not a chicken.
144
00:06:05,924 --> 00:06:09,609
[LAUGHS] But right now
I am an egg-making machine.
145
00:06:09,611 --> 00:06:11,185
We are ready for anything.
146
00:06:11,205 --> 00:06:13,597
I packed a Cheryl calming kit...
147
00:06:13,615 --> 00:06:16,524
Some lavender oil and, uh,
my secret calming tonic.
148
00:06:16,602 --> 00:06:19,861
It's a Kool-Aid and Tang hybrid
with a sugar reduction
149
00:06:19,938 --> 00:06:22,622
and just a dot of my Sour Father Ale.
150
00:06:22,781 --> 00:06:24,372
- [DOOR OPENS]
- Ooh.
151
00:06:24,443 --> 00:06:26,443
Hello. Welcome. [DOOR CLOSES]
152
00:06:26,536 --> 00:06:30,463
Yes, you are in the right place.
Welcome to the debate.
153
00:06:30,616 --> 00:06:33,225
It's a little disappointing
to have a low turnout.
154
00:06:33,301 --> 00:06:35,894
You can't have a democracy
without the people.
155
00:06:35,971 --> 00:06:37,879
I'm not going to cry.
156
00:06:37,881 --> 00:06:39,456
[WHIMPERS]
157
00:06:39,458 --> 00:06:41,739
Am I working with Mandy
to get back at Barb?
158
00:06:41,764 --> 00:06:42,792
[SCOFFS] No.
159
00:06:42,811 --> 00:06:44,644
I mean, sure, she bruised
my heart a little bit,
160
00:06:44,721 --> 00:06:47,130
and she kicked me out
of Nan's house, but trust me...
161
00:06:47,149 --> 00:06:50,075
I can keep this professional.
162
00:06:50,226 --> 00:06:52,393
Why? What'd she say about me?
163
00:06:52,471 --> 00:06:54,821
You can tell me. I-I-I don't care.
164
00:06:55,531 --> 00:06:57,364
I hate having to come to Pockton,
165
00:06:57,389 --> 00:07:00,085
but I have to get an
Ohio state flag pin for Barb.
166
00:07:00,162 --> 00:07:02,662
[DOOR BELLS JINGLE]
167
00:07:02,814 --> 00:07:04,981
Oh, my God. [DOOR CLOSES, BELLS JINGLE]
168
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,832
Nadine. Figures you'd follow me here.
169
00:07:07,857 --> 00:07:09,738
How? I-I was here first.
170
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,060
Okay, you know what?
I don't have time for this.
171
00:07:11,085 --> 00:07:12,908
- What are you doing here anyway?
- Nothing. I'm just...
172
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:14,432
I'm browsing. What are you...
173
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,911
I'm just browsing. I'm shopping.
174
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,936
- I'm shopping, too.
- Okay, well, you can shop.
175
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,379
Okay, have fun shopping.
176
00:07:19,404 --> 00:07:21,496
Browse away.
177
00:07:21,521 --> 00:07:23,780
- Hi.
- Oh, hi, yo.
178
00:07:23,805 --> 00:07:25,754
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- You're hilarious.
179
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,203
- Thank you.
- I was curious...
180
00:07:27,222 --> 00:07:30,223
Do you happen
to have an Ohio state flag pin?
181
00:07:30,375 --> 00:07:31,449
Yes.
182
00:07:31,468 --> 00:07:33,060
And lucky you... It's the last one.
183
00:07:33,136 --> 00:07:36,045
- Oh, I was here first.
- No, I was the one who asked.
184
00:07:36,065 --> 00:07:37,789
So, actually, thank you
for grabbing that for me.
185
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:38,906
Thank you so much. That'd be great.
186
00:07:38,931 --> 00:07:40,750
Don't push me.
It's unfair 'cause you're pregnant.
187
00:07:40,775 --> 00:07:41,940
Okay, you know what?
188
00:07:41,965 --> 00:07:44,364
Let's just settle this
the old-school way, okay?
189
00:07:44,389 --> 00:07:45,739
You really want to drink
a gallon of milk
190
00:07:45,764 --> 00:07:47,022
- and see who throws up first?
- Ew, no.
191
00:07:47,047 --> 00:07:48,102
Why would I want to...
Why do you want to...
192
00:07:48,127 --> 00:07:49,627
Never mind. No, rock paper scissors...
193
00:07:49,652 --> 00:07:51,235
Best out of three, no take-backs.
194
00:07:51,260 --> 00:07:52,592
Oh!
195
00:07:52,617 --> 00:07:54,543
You're going to regret that,
mother from another mother.
196
00:07:54,568 --> 00:07:56,255
Ready? Okay. Ready, ready, ready.
197
00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:58,196
BOTH: Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
198
00:08:02,047 --> 00:08:03,815
- What the...
- Ugh!
199
00:08:03,834 --> 00:08:07,305
[SERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
200
00:08:07,330 --> 00:08:09,298
Boom!
201
00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:13,416
She's the candidate
that makes you undulate.
202
00:08:13,435 --> 00:08:15,918
You can trust her,
203
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:18,421
unlike some people we know.
204
00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:21,166
She's sweeter the candy,
tougher to nails.
205
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:25,687
Put your hands together
for the amazing Mandy!
206
00:08:25,763 --> 00:08:28,506
[CELL PHONES BEEPING]
207
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,754
There's a tornado warning in effect
208
00:08:30,778 --> 00:08:32,802
and Flatch is in the projected path?
209
00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:36,030
Oh, my God. Run! Run! Take cover!
210
00:08:36,055 --> 00:08:40,316
Don't panic! We have to go underground!
No trampling!
211
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,462
These warnings happen a bunch.
212
00:08:42,614 --> 00:08:44,689
Most of the time, it's a false alarm.
213
00:08:44,708 --> 00:08:47,859
Now, don't get me wrong...
I'm going to take shelter,
214
00:08:47,878 --> 00:08:50,786
but I'm going to check eBay
and make me a sandwich first.
215
00:08:50,811 --> 00:08:51,851
[CELL PHONES BEEPING]
216
00:08:51,876 --> 00:08:54,601
A tornado? Oh, hell, no.
217
00:08:54,626 --> 00:08:56,792
Wait, wait, wait. Hey, Are you leaving?
218
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,128
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
219
00:08:59,148 --> 00:09:02,632
- You going to leave?
- [SCOFFS] You first, Mallet.
220
00:09:02,651 --> 00:09:04,352
I'm not leaving. All day.
221
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:05,726
[STRAINING] I need that pin.
222
00:09:05,751 --> 00:09:07,268
[BREATHLESSLY] I think I'll stay.
223
00:09:07,293 --> 00:09:09,460
I'm going to stay all day. Okay.
224
00:09:09,485 --> 00:09:12,289
Oh, my God.
Are you even pregnant at all?
225
00:09:12,477 --> 00:09:14,995
Oh, God, oh!
226
00:09:15,071 --> 00:09:17,330
Oh, my God! The baby's coming!
227
00:09:21,745 --> 00:09:23,895
Mom is safe in the basement.
She's watching her soaps.
228
00:09:23,914 --> 00:09:25,988
- Um, how are you feeling?
- Ugh.
229
00:09:26,008 --> 00:09:28,750
Ooh, I had tiny...
Teeny tiny contractions
230
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,826
when I was taking Chantal to
her grandmother's this morning,
231
00:09:30,846 --> 00:09:32,995
but, you know, I didn't want to
worry Dylan before the debate.
232
00:09:33,015 --> 00:09:34,830
You know, I thought I had time
to win the debate.
233
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,350
And then Dylan and I would get
escorted to the hospital
234
00:09:37,375 --> 00:09:38,811
via a government-issued motorcade.
235
00:09:38,836 --> 00:09:40,002
- Okay.
- Ah.
236
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,763
And now it's not safe to drive.
237
00:09:41,788 --> 00:09:44,164
Oh, I cannot have this baby in Pockton.
238
00:09:44,189 --> 00:09:46,526
Okay, you're right. You're right.
Okay, we got this. We got this.
239
00:09:46,551 --> 00:09:47,566
- Okay.
- Okay.
240
00:09:47,591 --> 00:09:49,281
[PHONE BEEPS] Oh, okay.
241
00:09:49,306 --> 00:09:50,731
911. What's your emergency?
242
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:52,297
You guys really be saying that.
243
00:09:52,322 --> 00:09:54,845
Okay, okay, first-time caller,
long-time fan.
244
00:09:54,870 --> 00:09:56,906
- Just...
- Um, we're having a baby!
245
00:09:56,931 --> 00:09:59,332
And I don't know if I'm
strong enough for this, okay?
246
00:09:59,357 --> 00:10:01,857
- Like...
- Okay, ma'am. Calm down.
247
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,101
Okay, condescending much.
248
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,711
- I'm really calm, dude.
- Okay.
249
00:10:04,862 --> 00:10:07,029
We're sending someone
to your location now,
250
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,882
but this tornado has limited
our resources, so...
251
00:10:08,907 --> 00:10:10,252
Okay, no help at all.
252
00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:12,126
- I'm going to call Dylan.
- No, no. No, no, no.
253
00:10:12,151 --> 00:10:13,667
I want him to focus on the debate, okay?
254
00:10:13,692 --> 00:10:18,119
I can handle this myself. [GROANING]
255
00:10:18,144 --> 00:10:20,469
[BOTH SCREAMING]
256
00:10:20,494 --> 00:10:21,660
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
257
00:10:21,685 --> 00:10:23,777
I just got a text from Nadine
saying she's safe.
258
00:10:24,140 --> 00:10:27,047
"Use the note cards.
Don't screw this up."
259
00:10:28,956 --> 00:10:30,346
Also got a heart emoji.
260
00:10:30,371 --> 00:10:34,160
So, uh, so sorry
about overreacting earlier...
261
00:10:34,185 --> 00:10:35,610
First tornado.
262
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,744
And don't worry... I will replace
the hallway door that I broke.
263
00:10:37,769 --> 00:10:39,608
Anyway, now that we have a crowd,
264
00:10:39,633 --> 00:10:42,164
I don't see why we can't, uh,
finish the debate.
265
00:10:42,189 --> 00:10:44,210
- Yes.
- Do we really have to?
266
00:10:44,235 --> 00:10:46,160
[MOCKINGLY] Yes, we really have to.
267
00:10:46,237 --> 00:10:48,813
[CHUCKLES] And we're all going
to participate,
268
00:10:48,873 --> 00:10:50,072
and you're going to like it.
269
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,816
Does mama need her calm juice?
270
00:10:51,835 --> 00:10:54,761
Oh, no, no, no, Joe. I'm fine.
271
00:10:54,786 --> 00:10:56,648
So everyone sit down, shut up,
272
00:10:56,673 --> 00:10:58,945
and let's enjoy
the democratic process, yeah?
273
00:10:58,970 --> 00:11:00,744
Okay, so the tornado is moving closer.
274
00:11:00,769 --> 00:11:02,510
I don't know where
the paramedics are exactly.
275
00:11:02,535 --> 00:11:04,961
I cannot give birth in Pockton.
276
00:11:04,986 --> 00:11:07,423
Yeah.
So, normally, I wouldn't help Nadine
277
00:11:07,442 --> 00:11:08,942
because she's my sworn mortal enemy,
278
00:11:08,967 --> 00:11:11,892
but her baby's an innocent
bystander in our war.
279
00:11:11,917 --> 00:11:14,383
And it doesn't deserve to begin its life
in this trash can town,
280
00:11:14,408 --> 00:11:15,750
so we're going to hold the baby in.
281
00:11:15,775 --> 00:11:17,992
I'm going to take your mind off of it.
Yes, okay.
282
00:11:18,017 --> 00:11:19,574
Uh, oh, my God.
Wait. I got it, I got it.
283
00:11:19,858 --> 00:11:21,267
- Knock, knock.
- Who's there?
284
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:24,106
Alpaca my own suitcase, thanks.
285
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:27,018
Wait. I think I forgot a part of it.
286
00:11:27,037 --> 00:11:29,203
What policies
do you plan on implementing
287
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:31,798
that will maintain
our current infrastructure
288
00:11:31,949 --> 00:11:35,043
but stimulate economic growth fiscally?
289
00:11:35,119 --> 00:11:37,637
Girl, I don't even know what that means.
290
00:11:37,662 --> 00:11:40,087
Uh, yeah, I don't know
how to ask a question
291
00:11:40,112 --> 00:11:41,854
with that question.
292
00:11:41,879 --> 00:11:44,338
Dylan?
293
00:11:44,363 --> 00:11:47,122
[SIGHS]
294
00:11:47,147 --> 00:11:49,055
I have a dream
295
00:11:49,537 --> 00:11:52,037
that one day all Flatch boys and girls
296
00:11:52,062 --> 00:11:54,062
will play together in perfect harmony.
297
00:11:54,087 --> 00:11:55,615
If you keep appropriating Dr. King,
298
00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:57,157
I'm going to march up and down your ass.
299
00:11:57,182 --> 00:11:58,515
Uh-huh. [CROWD MURMURS]
300
00:11:58,540 --> 00:12:01,449
Focus, people! Focus!
[MURMURING CONTINUES]
301
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,555
If you could have lunch
with any celebrity,
302
00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:05,223
- who would it be?
- Great question.
303
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,149
Joe, when I asked for your
help, I meant just sit there.
304
00:12:07,169 --> 00:12:08,984
Yeah, but I know how to work a crowd.
305
00:12:09,004 --> 00:12:10,562
You're overstepping your duties.
306
00:12:10,655 --> 00:12:12,005
I want to hear the answer to that.
307
00:12:12,030 --> 00:12:13,179
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
308
00:12:13,204 --> 00:12:15,188
Who would you like to have lunch with?
309
00:12:15,213 --> 00:12:16,486
Oh. [CHUCKLES]
310
00:12:16,511 --> 00:12:19,161
You know, probably a young Tom Hanks.
311
00:12:19,181 --> 00:12:22,849
He's always felt like a friend
and a-a father figure to me.
312
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,352
Great question,
great answer, Father Joe.
313
00:12:25,428 --> 00:12:26,519
Thank you.
314
00:12:26,596 --> 00:12:28,521
[APPLAUSE]
315
00:12:28,546 --> 00:12:29,642
Oh-ho.
316
00:12:29,667 --> 00:12:32,243
Ho, ho. Thank you.
317
00:12:32,268 --> 00:12:34,677
This is so fun.
318
00:12:34,696 --> 00:12:37,589
- [BOTH SHOUTING]
- Okay.
319
00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:39,757
You do a handstand
and then just let it...
320
00:12:39,776 --> 00:12:42,184
- Gravity suck...
- I can't. I can't. I can't.
321
00:12:42,204 --> 00:12:44,278
Why are you skinnier than me
if you can't do a handstand?
322
00:12:44,303 --> 00:12:46,062
[BOTH SHOUT] I know. I know.
323
00:12:46,087 --> 00:12:47,719
I do this sometimes to calm down.
324
00:12:47,744 --> 00:12:50,024
Sometimes I make floor angels,
and it's really calming.
325
00:12:50,049 --> 00:12:52,733
Okay, like this.
326
00:12:53,197 --> 00:12:55,422
Ow. [GROANING]
327
00:12:55,447 --> 00:12:57,625
Okay, well, don't spread them
that wide, okay?
328
00:12:57,650 --> 00:13:00,369
I saw what you did there.
You're going to get pregnant again.
329
00:13:00,394 --> 00:13:04,298
Well, Joe, it's a tie
between Fruity Pebbles and Cap'n Crunch.
330
00:13:04,323 --> 00:13:06,726
- Yeah.
- But if I have to pick my favorite,
331
00:13:06,803 --> 00:13:10,207
I'm going with the Cap'n
because them Crunch Berries slap.
332
00:13:10,232 --> 00:13:11,398
- Yes.
- I know.
333
00:13:11,474 --> 00:13:13,025
You know, I would imagine
334
00:13:13,050 --> 00:13:15,735
that the Captain and I were
setting sail in a sea of milk,
335
00:13:15,887 --> 00:13:18,129
and he would say, "Ahoy, Joey.
336
00:13:18,154 --> 00:13:20,633
Would you like to be my first mate?"
337
00:13:20,658 --> 00:13:22,242
- No one asked you, Joe.
- Yep.
338
00:13:22,267 --> 00:13:24,112
So, basically, Nadine's
freaking out because it's
339
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,895
not going according
to her birth plan at all.
340
00:13:25,914 --> 00:13:28,230
She had a doula.
I don't know what that is.
341
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:31,826
And also, she booked a really
fancy birthing suite in Dayton.
342
00:13:31,851 --> 00:13:34,662
So what I did is I tried to make it look
as close to that as possible.
343
00:13:34,739 --> 00:13:37,740
You know, it took some doing,
but I kind of think I nailed it.
344
00:13:37,759 --> 00:13:39,984
And, um, like, genuinely,
I'm excited to show Nadine.
345
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:41,761
Okay. No peeking, Mom.
346
00:13:41,786 --> 00:13:44,119
I'm not going to peek.
You don't have to do that.
347
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:46,808
Okay. Open your eyes.
348
00:13:49,345 --> 00:13:50,828
[NADINE GROANS]
349
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:53,088
I know. I know.
350
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:56,217
- It makes me emotional, too.
- [SOBBING]
351
00:13:56,242 --> 00:13:58,133
Okay, what steps do you plan on taking
352
00:13:58,158 --> 00:14:00,482
to reduce Flatch's carbon footprint
353
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:05,201
without hurting our local businesses
that rely on fossil fuels?
354
00:14:08,066 --> 00:14:09,324
[STAMMERS] Can we...
355
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,958
Can we answer another one
of Father Joe's questions?
356
00:14:12,109 --> 00:14:14,127
Because those are fun. Am I right? Huh?
357
00:14:14,204 --> 00:14:18,356
Oh! Oh-ho! [CROWD CLAMORING]
358
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:21,283
Did I know that I was going
to be a natural at this?
359
00:14:21,303 --> 00:14:22,860
Yes.
360
00:14:22,879 --> 00:14:24,787
You can take the performer
out of the spotlight,
361
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:27,807
but you can't take the
spotlight out of the performer.
362
00:14:29,219 --> 00:14:31,475
Okay, let's move on
to audience questions.
363
00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:33,705
[CLEARS THROAT] Hi, Shrub here...
364
00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:38,059
The man who had the only home
he's ever known "shripped" from him
365
00:14:38,084 --> 00:14:40,613
by someone he had grown to trust.
366
00:14:40,638 --> 00:14:42,213
Okay, do you actually have a question?
367
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:44,324
Sure. I do have a question for Barb.
368
00:14:44,475 --> 00:14:46,384
So right now you're telling everyone
369
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:49,155
that you are super into Flatch
and you're committed to us,
370
00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:50,663
but I don't know.
371
00:14:50,688 --> 00:14:53,166
How do we know that you're not
going to just get bored
372
00:14:53,243 --> 00:14:54,817
and break up with us
373
00:14:54,836 --> 00:14:56,819
and then erotically pour wax
on some other town's chest?
374
00:14:56,838 --> 00:14:58,942
- Huh?
- Oh, gross.
375
00:14:58,967 --> 00:15:00,208
What about that?
376
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:02,038
Shrub, is this just about
your relationship with Barb?
377
00:15:02,063 --> 00:15:03,211
Who cares?
378
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,919
These are the kind of questions
I'm here for.
379
00:15:04,944 --> 00:15:06,007
Yes.
380
00:15:06,032 --> 00:15:07,991
Answer it. Answer it.
381
00:15:08,016 --> 00:15:09,090
Answer it.
382
00:15:09,166 --> 00:15:11,909
ALL: [CHANTING] Answer it. Answer it.
383
00:15:11,928 --> 00:15:16,571
Answer it. Answer it. Answer it.
384
00:15:21,271 --> 00:15:22,436
- [GROANS]
- Have some water.
385
00:15:22,513 --> 00:15:23,921
- Have some water.
- Thank you.
386
00:15:23,940 --> 00:15:25,514
Okay.
387
00:15:25,534 --> 00:15:27,275
- Oh.
- Um...
388
00:15:27,351 --> 00:15:30,622
hey, are you scared at all?
389
00:15:30,647 --> 00:15:34,356
Because I'm feeling really scared,
and I'm not even giving birth, so...
390
00:15:34,376 --> 00:15:37,026
Um, maybe a little.
391
00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:38,694
Yeah.
392
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:41,196
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
393
00:15:41,216 --> 00:15:43,608
- Kelly...
- Mm-hmm.
394
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:47,036
In case we die
in this disgusting town...
395
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:48,296
- Yeah.
- Um...
396
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,682
I need to tell you something.
397
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:52,875
I...
398
00:15:52,894 --> 00:15:54,952
may have said something
399
00:15:55,046 --> 00:15:57,955
about you and your hamster
in eighth grade.
400
00:15:57,974 --> 00:15:59,232
I knew it.
401
00:15:59,257 --> 00:16:00,435
Why?
402
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:04,312
You were always just so confident.
403
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,814
I guess I was a little jealous.
404
00:16:06,891 --> 00:16:09,224
[SCOFFS] Are you serious?
405
00:16:09,244 --> 00:16:11,226
- Yeah.
- Um...
406
00:16:11,246 --> 00:16:12,970
Yeah, yeah.
407
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,915
I... yeah, I mean, jealousy is
the only thing that I would...
408
00:16:15,992 --> 00:16:17,750
- That would make sense.
- Right.
409
00:16:17,775 --> 00:16:19,183
Um...
410
00:16:19,208 --> 00:16:21,007
I-I've always been so jealous
of your killer instinct.
411
00:16:21,032 --> 00:16:22,290
Really?
412
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,406
- You're like the Terminator.
- Oh, that's so sweet.
413
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,830
- Mm-hmm.
- Except with way cuter skirts.
414
00:16:26,855 --> 00:16:28,296
You heard it right.
415
00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:31,598
Just like that, two enemies
lay down their swords
416
00:16:31,623 --> 00:16:33,538
and extend an olive branch.
417
00:16:33,563 --> 00:16:35,493
Shut your stupid ass up
and get over here!
418
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,586
- It's coming.
- It's go time.
419
00:16:37,606 --> 00:16:39,163
I got a question for Barb.
420
00:16:39,182 --> 00:16:41,924
That is a direct violation
of the parli pro format.
421
00:16:41,943 --> 00:16:44,372
Cool. What's your angle, Barb?
422
00:16:44,397 --> 00:16:46,121
What's your angle, Mandy?
423
00:16:46,146 --> 00:16:47,328
No more games.
424
00:16:47,353 --> 00:16:49,690
Look, Barb just expect us
all to get spray tans
425
00:16:49,767 --> 00:16:51,468
and start planting palm trees.
426
00:16:51,493 --> 00:16:54,085
Admit it... you're trying to turn
Flatch into Florida.
427
00:16:54,110 --> 00:16:55,696
You're just mad because
there's somebody in town
428
00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:57,865
who's not afraid to stand
up to you, little Mandy.
429
00:16:57,942 --> 00:16:59,684
- Can I say something?
- Both: No!
430
00:16:59,702 --> 00:17:01,519
Hey, look what I saw in the kitchen.
431
00:17:01,537 --> 00:17:03,445
Who wants to see a three-way relay race?
432
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,298
I got five on Nadine's husband.
433
00:17:05,449 --> 00:17:08,283
- Thank you.
- Okay. That is enough!
434
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,786
Listen, everyone, you just want
to ask questions like,
435
00:17:10,805 --> 00:17:14,048
what's your favorite color,
or are you into foot stuff?
436
00:17:14,425 --> 00:17:15,867
- Yeah.
- Do not answer that, Shrub.
437
00:17:15,892 --> 00:17:17,310
Oh, my God.
438
00:17:17,387 --> 00:17:20,554
I'm sick of you making a joke
out of me and this process.
439
00:17:20,631 --> 00:17:23,040
- Grow up.
- [CLAPS SLOWLY]
440
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,968
Oh, shut the hell up, Joe.
441
00:17:24,993 --> 00:17:28,075
Okay, you know what?
I knew this was a bad idea.
442
00:17:28,100 --> 00:17:30,458
No more help from you.
443
00:17:31,475 --> 00:17:33,885
Except for this. This is very tasty.
444
00:17:33,903 --> 00:17:35,828
You can keep making the drink,
but then no more help.
445
00:17:35,905 --> 00:17:37,790
- Okay, you can do it!
- I can't.
446
00:17:37,815 --> 00:17:39,891
- I can't push anymore.
- Yes, you can, okay?
447
00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:41,893
You're Nadine, okay?
448
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:43,911
You're the Terminator.
You can do anything you want.
449
00:17:43,988 --> 00:17:45,988
- Okay.
- Okay, remember second grade
450
00:17:46,007 --> 00:17:47,322
when we went on that field trip?
451
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,416
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
452
00:17:48,492 --> 00:17:49,734
And we got lost in the Flatch Caves.
453
00:17:49,752 --> 00:17:51,235
- Uh-huh.
- And you brought your compass,
454
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:52,374
and you were the only one.
455
00:17:52,399 --> 00:17:53,882
- And that's why we got out.
- Yeah.
456
00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:56,073
Oh, and you got Mr. Tipaldi
fired because he got us lost.
457
00:17:56,092 --> 00:17:58,500
[STRAINING] I hated Mr. Tipaldi!
458
00:17:58,502 --> 00:18:00,745
Yes! Push! [BOTH SCREAMING]
459
00:18:00,838 --> 00:18:02,355
[LIQUID SPLASHES] Oh, my God!
460
00:18:02,432 --> 00:18:05,191
[SHOUTS] Wha...
461
00:18:05,342 --> 00:18:07,843
You can't just barge
into the women's bathroom.
462
00:18:07,868 --> 00:18:12,026
Well, Mandy has a plan to make
bathrooms in Flatch all gender by 2032,
463
00:18:12,051 --> 00:18:13,826
but not why I'm here.
464
00:18:13,851 --> 00:18:18,779
Mandy wants you to read this
and then meet her in the storage room.
465
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:21,601
Listen, things got really crazy
out there, I know.
466
00:18:21,626 --> 00:18:23,928
But, Barb, we cannot be making
this about us.
467
00:18:23,953 --> 00:18:25,269
This is about the campaign.
468
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:27,104
This is about democracy,
and it's too important.
469
00:18:27,123 --> 00:18:29,257
And I know it's going to be hard,
470
00:18:29,282 --> 00:18:31,700
but we have to remain
professional through this
471
00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:34,288
no matter how hard our loins
are longing for each other.
472
00:18:34,313 --> 00:18:37,539
You know what I mean?
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
473
00:18:37,564 --> 00:18:38,904
I miss you, too. I do.
474
00:18:38,929 --> 00:18:40,595
- Look down. Obviously.
- What?
475
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:45,139
But I ride or die for Mandy now,
and you need to respect that.
476
00:18:45,216 --> 00:18:47,150
May the best person win.
477
00:18:51,481 --> 00:18:54,056
Where did you get
my birth certificate from?
478
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,316
I've got my ways.
479
00:18:55,410 --> 00:18:57,134
Be interesting to hear
what folks would have to say
480
00:18:57,136 --> 00:19:00,729
if they learned that Barb Flatch
was born in Pockton.
481
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:03,583
Here's a preview. "Oh, hell, no."
482
00:19:03,659 --> 00:19:05,993
"Barb is dead to me. Ugh."
483
00:19:06,087 --> 00:19:09,313
Probably start calling you Barb Pockton.
484
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:13,085
You're a ruthless opponent.
I'm impressed.
485
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:14,652
You're a worthy competitor yourself.
486
00:19:14,670 --> 00:19:18,322
Truthfully, I realized I don't have
enough time to be a selectwoman.
487
00:19:18,341 --> 00:19:21,562
I got the tattoo business,
the church business,
488
00:19:21,587 --> 00:19:23,327
picking up my dog's business.
489
00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:24,753
You get it. I'm busy.
490
00:19:24,773 --> 00:19:27,320
Look, I'm willing to let you win
491
00:19:27,345 --> 00:19:31,519
as long as you consult with me on
any major changes you make to Flatch.
492
00:19:31,722 --> 00:19:33,648
Okay, I will.
493
00:19:34,165 --> 00:19:38,109
I also want a parking spot at Town Hall,
a nude beach on the pond,
494
00:19:38,134 --> 00:19:39,693
and for the love of God,
495
00:19:39,770 --> 00:19:42,104
please let Shrub stay
in Nan's house till it sells.
496
00:19:42,198 --> 00:19:45,107
That boy is emotional, and he needs it.
497
00:19:45,126 --> 00:19:48,795
Okay, well, I will agree to all of that
except the nude beach.
498
00:19:49,566 --> 00:19:51,992
Look, body positivity is great,
499
00:19:52,017 --> 00:19:55,117
but I am positive I don't want
to see everybody's body.
500
00:19:55,136 --> 00:19:57,833
I am specifically talking about Len.
501
00:19:57,858 --> 00:19:59,949
- [CHUCKLES]
- Oh, don't worry.
502
00:19:59,974 --> 00:20:01,532
I've made several copies of that.
503
00:20:01,551 --> 00:20:04,201
And should something
suspicious happen to me,
504
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:07,221
I've instructed someone to send
that directly to Cheryl at the paper.
505
00:20:07,298 --> 00:20:09,798
As long as you don't renege on our deal,
506
00:20:09,818 --> 00:20:12,819
your secret's safe with me.
507
00:20:12,970 --> 00:20:14,237
Okay.
508
00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:17,597
You better edit all of this out.
509
00:20:17,622 --> 00:20:18,688
All of it.
510
00:20:24,603 --> 00:20:26,390
[SIREN WAILS]
511
00:20:26,409 --> 00:20:27,858
- We had a baby!
- Kelly.
512
00:20:27,910 --> 00:20:29,560
[SOFTLY] Sorry. We had a baby.
513
00:20:29,579 --> 00:20:31,729
I don't mean to be gross or anything,
514
00:20:31,747 --> 00:20:34,732
but I couldn't have done this
without you.
515
00:20:34,750 --> 00:20:37,677
I-I really...
I don't know how to repay you.
516
00:20:37,828 --> 00:20:41,156
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
I was thinking about that, too.
517
00:20:41,181 --> 00:20:44,499
Um, Kelly is also a boy's name.
518
00:20:44,524 --> 00:20:46,672
[LAUGHS] I'm not doing that.
519
00:20:46,697 --> 00:20:48,756
No, I'll get you, like, a cheese basket
520
00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:50,883
or something, right? Kind of exciting.
521
00:20:50,908 --> 00:20:52,730
So Dylan and Mandy dropped out,
522
00:20:52,755 --> 00:20:55,514
but I still think the debate
was a success.
523
00:20:55,539 --> 00:20:59,374
And also, the tornado didn't
hit the town, so that's a relief.
524
00:20:59,394 --> 00:21:02,210
And since Joe stopped helping,
I've been pretty relaxed.
525
00:21:02,230 --> 00:21:04,546
Cheryl, I'd like to
put an ad in the paper.
526
00:21:04,565 --> 00:21:09,050
No one wants to buy
your pickled grapes, June!
527
00:21:09,075 --> 00:21:10,134
Oh.
528
00:21:10,159 --> 00:21:12,087
Something feels different.
529
00:21:12,112 --> 00:21:13,696
I got the pin.
530
00:21:13,721 --> 00:21:15,776
So, yeah, that means Barb and I won.
531
00:21:15,801 --> 00:21:18,437
I mean, technically, we won
because everyone else quit.
532
00:21:18,462 --> 00:21:20,804
But you know what they say.
Survival of the fittest.
533
00:21:20,823 --> 00:21:22,898
Yeah, Mandy and I lost.
534
00:21:22,917 --> 00:21:24,566
But out of nowhere, Barb told me
535
00:21:24,585 --> 00:21:26,735
that I can stay at Nan's house
until she sells it,
536
00:21:26,754 --> 00:21:31,406
so clearly she's still sweet
on old Shrub.
537
00:21:31,484 --> 00:21:33,134
[WHISPERING] No, she's not.
538
00:21:33,184 --> 00:21:37,734
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