Original subtitles

Radio Dj: Oh, Yeah.

They're Out There, People.

Big Bad Asteroids Crowdin' Our Space.

But Chill And Be Still,

'Cause These Heavenly Bodies

Will Just Burn Up In Our Atmosphere

If They Get Too Darn Close.

And For Those Of Us Burnin' Up In So Cal,

We Got Our Own Hot Rock

Blazin' Through The Airwaves,

Comin' Right At You

From Khlk Radio,

Holly-Weird.

Hyah!

I--I Can't Believe It!

3 Olympic Gold Medalists

And We Got Aced By One Woman.

Not Just Any Woman, Boys.

The Woman

Otherwise Known As She-Hulk.

Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Later, Guys.

I'm Off To Rip A Curl Or Two.

Yee-Hah!

Dj: But Just In Case, Sky-Watchers,

Keep Your Peepers Peepin' Tonight

For One Slash-And-Burn Meteor Light Show.

Dr. Ferguson: Bruce!

The Asteroid Is Approaching.

The Descent Is Stabilized.

We're Locked On.

Increasing Gamma Emissions

And Initiating The Repelling Beam.

Yay! Yay! Ha Ha!

Very Good, Gentlemen! Fantastic!

Cheers, Dr. Ferguson. Good Work.

Oh, Hardly. The Thanks Goes To You,

Bruce, Old Man.

If Not For Your Expertise In Gamma Energy,

We Never Could've Solved The Problems

With This Repelling-Beam Generator In Time.

Well, We'd Better Get Moving On The New Modifications.

Those Asteroids Are Getting Closer.

You're Right.

If The Public Only Knew

What Kind Of Danger We're Really In.

[Gasp]

What's That?

Ohh! Aah!

Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!

Lab Secured.

Very Good.

Now, Take Everything That Isn't Nailed Down

For It Now Belongs

To Dr. Doom,

And By The End Of This Day,

I Shall Have My Long-Awaited Retribution.

Latveria Will Be Under My Rule Again,

And Those Who Have Crossed Me

Will Suffer.

Including You, Dr. Banner.

Blow This Place

Into Tiny Pieces.

Rrraaahhh!

d Hulk d

d Hulk d

d Incredible Hulk d

d Hulk d

d Hulk d

d Incredible Hulk d

d Hulk d

d Incredible Hulk d

Rrraaahhh!

[Gasp]

Grrr!

Where Ugly Gray Hulk?

Who You Calling Ugly?

Unh!

This Puny Head Ain't Big Enough

For The Both Of Us!

You Head Out!

Oorghh!

Grraaahh!

Arrrh!

[Straining]

Hulk. What A Surprise.

I Hadn't Expected A Visit From You.

Well, Not Yet, Anyway.

Dr. Dumb Hulk Enemy.

Oh, You Don't Know How Right You Are.

And It's "Doom,"

You Tiresome Savage!

The Hulk And I Shall Meet Again...

Sooner Than He May Think.

[Beeping]

Wha--Beep? Beep?

Rowrrrr!

Rowrrrr...

Rr-Whew!

Oh, Come On, Brucie, Where Are You?

Hmm...

[Cell Phone Ringing]

Beep...Beep...

Beep Beep?

Go Boom Boom!

Rowrrr!

That Cousin Of Mine Is Working Way Too Hard.

Well, This Gamma Girl

Is Having A Blast Making Her Mark

In Tinseltown.

Madonna, Eat Your Heart Out.

[Honk, Tires Squeal]

Now There's A Bad Noise.

Uh-Oh. Bad Scene, Too.

Oh!!

Man: Cut. Cut. Cut!

All Right,

What's With The Green Babe In My Shot?

Let's Go For Take 2, People,

And Get Lady Liberty Off My Set.

[Male Voice] Hey, Radical Stunt,

But This Is A Union Show, So Back Off.

All Right, Let's Try A Little More Blush This Time, Ok?

Man: Hello, Tall And Lean.

You Know, Crashing A Movie Set

Really Isn't The Way To Break Into Showbiz, Babe.

Huh? But You Definitely Got Yourself Noticed,

Green Body Paint And All. Ha Ha Ha!

Hi. Rance De Lancie From Colossal Studios.

Get Over Yourself! The Famous Director?

I Love Your Old Movies.

Queen Kong, Castablanket,

Oh, And That Shark Flick Gone With The Fin.

Whatever Happened To You?

Uh, Television.

But Enough About Me.

How Would You Like To Star

In My Newest Tv Pilot?

We're Shooting Today.

Get Out Of Here!

Yowp!

Oh, Sorry.

Where Do I Sign?

All Right. Places, Everyone.

Hey, Has Anyone Seen She-Hulk?

Hyah!

Yaah!

Huh!

Unh!

I Am Greena, Warrior Princess!

Ooh, Was I Made For This Part, Or What?

Ok, Ok. She-Hulk, Baby Doll,

What I'm Looking For In This Scene

Is Honest Heroism, Ok? Ok? Ok?

Powerful, Yet Vulnerable.

Strong, Yet Sensitive.

Tall, Yet--

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.

Got It.

Jeez. It Always Goes Right To Their Heads.

And...

Action!

Forsooth!

I'll Vanquish You Yet, Hekubah!

Unh!

And I'll Do It By Slicing The Heart

From Your Evil Machine Of Destruction.

Rance: Ok, Strike The Set.

We're Finished Here.

Very Moving Performance, My Lovely She-Hulk.

Our Cameras At The Studio Back Lot

Will Film Your Heroic Descent.

And Then I Just Hand This Thingie

Over To Herculip, Right?

Bingo, Babe! Love Ya. Mean It.

10-4. Rance Out. Ha Ha!

Ah, It's Too Bad

Brucie's Missing My High-Flying Star Trip.

She-Hulk: Yee-Hah!

Jennifer?

Flying?

Dj: Well, Hollyweirdos,

Seems That Asteroid Belt

Is Just Movin' On By In The Old Sky,

So How About We Roll Some Rock Of Our Own, Huh?

[Rock Music Plays]

Hellooo, Herky Baby,

Here's The...

Hey...

This Place Is Abandoned.

Wha--?

Cut. Print.

And That's A Wrap.

Especially For You,

My Dear Leading Lady.

Doom.

Oh, Yes.

I Have Returned.

You See, Today Is My Sequel,

And As For You... Well, Let's Just Say

You'll End Up On The Cutting Room Floor.

[Gasp]

Doom.

Smile At The Camera.

Get That Laser Out Of My Face, Tin Brain.

Hyah!

Oh, Don't Fret.

This Is Simply A Stun Ray.

It'll Only Hurt For A Moment.

Uh...Wrong.

Didn't...Feel... A Thing...

Ohh...

Doom: Take Her To The Sound Stage.

Rowrrr!

Tire Him Out. Subdue Him.

Then Bring Him To Me.

Hulk The Bomb!

Grr! Stinking Metal Men! Grr!

Eat Tree!

Yeah! Smash At Last! Harrhh!

[Grunting]

Dr. Ferguson: Dr. Doom,

The Radiation Conductor Has Been Installed,

And We Now Have Added Tractor Beam Capabilities.

[Straining]

This Was...All A Setup?

Charmingly Manipulative, Wasn't It?

A Film Crew Was The Perfect Ruse

To Gain Entry Into The Gamma Reactor

For The One Component I Needed.

The Fact That You Brought Me The Radiation Conductor

Was Quite Simply Worth Every Penny Of This Production.

And What Did He Mean By Tractor Beam?

Let's Just Say Your Cousin's Repelling-Beam Generator

Now Has A Dual Purpose.

Instead Of Just Pushing Meteors Away...

It Can Also Pull Them Down

To Fall Where I Command Them To.

How's That For A Blockbuster Event?

Show Me The Satellite View Of The Target Areas.

One Unpopulated Island,

One Deserted Ghost Town,

And One Closed Ski Resort.

Perfect Places For Tapping The World

On Its Shoulder.

And Now...

Showtime.

Members Of The United League Of Countries,

Thank You For Waiting.

You'll Remember Me As Victor Von Doom,

The Deposed Leader Of Latveria.

Withdraw Occupying Forces Immediately,

Or I Shall Take My Pound Of Flesh

One Landmass At A Time.

For Example...

Meet My Demands

Or The Next Targets Will Necessitate

Major Changes In The World Atlas.

Unh! Is Your Brain Starting To Rust?

You Have Yourself To Thank

For Setting This Disaster Film Into Motion,

My Young Starlet.

No Way, Sprocket Face.

This Is Your Tour-De-Force.

After My Defeat In Washington

By You And That Half-Witted Hulk,

I Lost Everything!

Today, However,

I Take It All Back,

With Vengeance!

Dr. Ferguson,

Prepare The Launch Capsule.

As Ordered, Dr. Doom.

Dr. Ferguson,

Fight Doom's Mind Control!

Don't Do This!

Repelling Beam Has Been Reactivated.

And Now,

I Hereby Exact My Revenge

Upon The Incredible Hulk!

Where Hulk?

Doom On Radio: Oh, Good.

You're Awake.

I Want You Fully Aware Of Your Impending Doom,

My Hopeless Brute,

Because, In Moments,

You'll Be Nothing More Than A Solar Flare.

So I've Supplied Your Helmet

With Just Enough Oxygen To Assure

That You See Your Fate Coming.

Unh! You're A Sick Puppy, Doom!

Your Future, On The Other Hand,

Will Not Be Quite As Bright As The Hulk's.

Once I Get Word Latveria Has Been Returned To Me,

You'll Take Up Permanent Residence There

As A Mine Laborer.

Ooh...Sweet Talk Will Get You Nowhere,

But A Great Pair Of Legs--

Hyah!

Ungghh!

Will Set Me Free!

Hyah!

Uhh... Ohh... Oh? Ohh!

What's Going On? Where Are We?

Time To Rewrite The Script, Doomsy.

Destroy Her!

Ee-Yah!

Shake Out The Cobwebs, Fellas,

We're In A Situation Green!

You'll Pay For This, Woman!

Destroy Her!

Oh!

Engage! Now!

Hit The Stars!

[Hulk Growling]

Hulk Need Air.

Use The Tractor Beam To Haul That Asteroid

Back Into Orbit

While I Settle A Score With Dr. Gone.

He's Out Of Range.

Huh? No!

Bruce!

Grraaaah

Grr...Hulk...Too Hot!

Grrowwrr!

There He Is!

He's Still Out Of Range.

One More Asteroid And We've Got Him.

One More Is All We Got.

Keep Jumping, Hulkster,

You're Almost There.

We've Got Him!

Tractor Beam Is Locked On!

We'll Drop It In The Ocean Off The Coast.

Stay Put, Big Green, We're Towing You In.

[Hulk Gasping On Radio]

Jennifer...

[Gasps]

Hulk...No Breath...

Oh, No! He's Running Out Of Air!

[Explosion]

This Movie Isn't Over

Until I Roll The End Credits.

House Lights...

Up!

Whoa... Whoa... Whoa...

Unh! Unh! Unh!

Doom: To Be Continued, She-Hulk!

Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Wait...Wait!

Trajectory Remains Constant.

He's Still Coming Down!

Ok, Hulk,

It's Up To You.

Just Hold Your Breath

And Hang On!

Ooh...Uh...Uh...

Aah!

Uhr...Uhr...Arrgh!

Pilot: Meteor In Visual Range.

It Appears To Be Headed Out To Sea.

What The... Huh?

Bruce!

Oh, No, You Don't, Brucie.

The Hulk Brought You This Far.

You're Not Giving Up Now.

[Coughing]

Jenn?

Wh-What Happened?

Wh-Why Are We... [Coughs]

Out In The Ocean?

Because You Had Yourself

One Hulking, Old-Fashioned Splashdown, Cousin.

Best Of Luck, Bruce.

You Can Count On Us To Keep That...

Hulk Matter To Ourselves, Eh?

Thank You. I'll Be In Touch.

Rance: Whoa! There You Are, She-Baby!

Look At Me, I'm Frantic!

Hey, I Had No Idea What Dr. Doom Was Up To,

Plus He Went And Stiffed Me On My Director's Fee.

Gee, Bruce, Do You Hear Something?

Oh, I Know.

It's The Sound Of Me Not Giving A Rat's Butt.

Ah, Ha Ha Ha!

Uh, Wait, Wait, Wait,

Please, Please, Ok, Ok, Ok.

The Networks Loved The Footage

Of Greena, Warrior Princess.

I Could Just Avoid Scandal And Bankruptcy

If You'll Sign This Tv Contract.

This'll Save Your Smarmy Hide, Huh?

Oh, Ha Ha! Would It Ever!

And Bruce Here Can Even Play Herculip.

Ha Ha! What A Great Team You'll Be, Huh?

Hey, We're Already A Great Team.

So, Let Me Negotiate Our Terms With You.

Aargg! Akk!

She-Hulk: Ha Ha Ha Ha!

There. Any Questions?

[Through Paper] Uh...No...

Ptui!

[Coughs]

It Always Goes Right To Their Heads.

So...You Think We Got Time

For Me To Go To Rodeo?

Wow. Is There A Rodeo In Town?

Hello, Brucie!

Rodeo, Beverly Hills?

I Got To Shop Till I Drop.

Chanel, Gucci...Oh!

Let's Go!

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