All language subtitles for Its.Fine.Im.Fine.S01E01.Have.You.Had.A.Cry.Today.720p.SBS.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264

Where's that?

The Daintree up in Far North Queensland.

- Have you been? - Nope.

It's a lovely place to holiday.

Mm. Yeah, I don't want to get dengue.

I'm Papua New Guinean.

I can tell that place would be a crack den for mozzies.

Uh, looks tranquil though.

- Would you like some water? - Oh, no thank you.

You seem nervous.

I've had two expressos and a Red Bull. Hm.

I think I might die.

Have you done this before?

No, you see, Red Bull doesn't usually give me wings.

It just gives me diarrhoea.

No, no, no. I mean, have you done therapy before?

Oh.

Oh, shit. No.

This is my first time.

OK. Well, Betty, we'll just go at your own pace.

So you simply share whatever you feel comfortable sharing.

- Are you ready to start? - Yeah.

Yeah. OK.

Cool.

I'm not crazy.

Why do you say that?

My cousin's work mate, got arrested last month for selling

human testicles on the dark web.

Human testicles.

This man wore a tie to work like every day.

Really? That's, that's unfortunate.

He's in jail now, thank God.

But I'm just saying that's like, not me.

I don't even know where the dark web is.

- That's probably for the best. - Yeah.

I mean, how the hell do you even get to the dark web?

Do you have to get into a magical platform -

on a London rail station then boom,

welcome to the dark web school of serial killers and psychopaths?

So, so, like on the scale of crazy, I'm like...

Libby Kennedy from 'Neighbours' normal.

That's an interesting scale.

Does being here make you nervous?

Nervous?

I'm not nervous.

Well, perhaps uncomfortable is a better word.

It's not that I'm uncomfortable, it's just.

OK, yes. No, I mean...

It's...it's the whole talking to a professional thing is a lot.

I see.

I don't know if you've noticed but I'm black

- AND Pacific Islander. - Mm-hm.

I'm Black Pacific Islander.

We don't talk about mental health stuff.

And if we do, you gotta send it to Jesus in a WhatsApp message.

Right, right. So, this is a cultural thing.

My cousin John started seeing a therapist a couple of years ago.

And when my family found out, they started calling him Johnny Depp.

Johnny Depp-ression.

- Oh. Oh. - Yeah.

- OK. - Yeah.

Well, I, I see why this might be a challenge for you.

Guess you could say that.

Well, nothing leaves this room.

Now, it may feel a little strange at first, but as we go on,

you'll get more and more comfortable.

OK.

It's not easy to open up, to be vulnerable.

You've heard of the lobster?

Lobster?

Yep. You know what lobsters do?

I guess they vibe in the dark, and eat shit off the ground?

Mm-hm. Sure.

Could you imagine that you're a lobster for me, Betty?

Uhhh.

Yeah.

OK, great.

So, on the outside, you have this hard, rigid shell.

But on the inside, it's all soft and mushy.

Now in order for it, you, you, the lobster, to grow,

you have to shed your shell.

Do you understand?

Eh.

Why don't you tell me about your week?

OK, sure.

Um...

I've been fine. I've just been busy with work.

So how have you been finding work?

All right.

Work's work.

On your form, instead of writing your address,

you wrote that you've been crying in the cupboard.

Was this at work?

I went looking for a broom.

I, I honestly don't know what happened.

Have you had a cry today?

She's not answering that.

This morning, going through the Maccas drive-through.

I know it's weird.

No, no. It's not weird.

You also ticked grief and loss on your form.

Who did you lose, Betty?

- My Bubu. - What's that?

It's my grandmother.

Don't tell the family you're here.

Remember what happened to cousin John.

And how long ago did she pass?

Um...

Just a, a little over four months ago?

Well, there are no rules in grief.

No timeline.

I know this sounds crazy,

but I can still see...

I mean, I can still feel like she's with me.

Am I crazy?

Shit.

Earl Gray or lemon and ginger?

Mahogany.

Earth to Felix.

Lemon ginger. Please.

So you still haven't answered my question.

I asked you about your friend Hunter.

Did you know, traditionally, mahogany was known

for its healing properties?

A remedy for a troubled heart.

Ash wood for trust and faithfulness.

But oak, oak was really powerful.

It brought courage, wisdom, love.

Dad?

Dad.

- Any updates there? - Nice try, Joanne.

So, who gets to do you?

Pardon?

Who makes you tea?

Who listens to you?

Felix, we know avoidance is your default when you're feeling anxious.

Anything you want to tell me?

What do you want me say?

I asked you about your dad

because you ignored my questions about Hunter.

I asked you about Hunter because it seemed like

we made some really good progress there last time.

And I also set you some homework, remember?

You know, mahogany was also used as an aphrodisiac.

And as a laxative.

Not at the same time, hopefully.

So did you do it?

Did you speak to Hunter?

I'll take that as a no.

Felix, I'm surprised.

You're usually so good with homework.

I know.

Can we please talk about something else?

OK, well why don't we talk about Carla.

This involves her too.

Pass.

Your dad?

Definitely pass.

Why, don't we...talk about the fire?

Fine.

Let's talk about Carla.

Great.

Have you spoken to her?

Yep.

Well, not exactly.

I see.

It's been a week, all right.

A week?

Since you've spoken to her?

No, Joanne.

I mean it's been 'a week'.

Troubles of the heart.

I hear mahogany's good for that.

I did try, you know.

I called her.

But then she answered.

And I froze.

It caught me off guard.

I just--

hearing her voice.

I couldn't speak.

So I hung up.

I hung up on her.

I hung up on Carla.

- Gutless. - Felix.

That took courage.

You really are quite a romantic at heart, aren't you?

Am not?

- Favourite movie? - Romeo and Juliet.

And you watch it for?

For the fight scenes. Obviously.

Obviously.

It happened again.

The dream?

The dream. God.

You know, I feel sorry for you.

Oh. Really?

I mean, you must have people telling you about their dreams all the time.

And you have no choice but to sit there and just listen.

Seriously, listening to other people talk about their dreams

makes me want to stab them.

Stab them?

- Really? - No, Joanne.

Not really.

Metaphorically.

Well, seeing as though I have no choice but to sit here and listen.

Care to elaborate?

Same as last time?

Different.

Worse.

I can't explain it.

Try.

Ashes everywhere.

Embers.

Rubble.

I'm covered in dust.

Under the rubble, Hunter.

I'm digging, trying to get to him.

Digging, digging. My hands are burning.

It's so hot. My lungs hurt.

I can't see.

I can hear my dad screaming somewhere.

You fucking idiot.

I try to pull Hunter free.

But there's so much smoke.

I can't breathe.

I can't breathe!

Felix, you're OK. It's OK.

What?! It's not OK.

A visceral reaction is completely normal.

Normal?! Why did you make me do that?

When we sit in the discomfort, work with the discomfort,

the answers reveal themselves.

I am sitting in the discomfort.

You're just sitting there and telling me that the answers

will magically appear.

You're meant to be giving me the answers.

Felix, I can't do that.

My job is to help you find them.

We look for the answers so that we can move forward. Powerfully.

How is this for moving forward, powerfully?

Same time next week?

- Is that peanut brittle? - Mm-mm. cashew.

- Cashew? - Mm-hm, it was a gift.

Who sends cashew brittle as a gift?

What a psychopath.

This is a really long hour.

Eve, how are you, really?

Fine.

Fine, just fine?

How many times are you gonna ask me that today?

How many times are you not gonna answer?

OK, um, I'm...

..bored and I don't care about anything.

I see.

Still hate my job.

I just sit there all day, hearing myself slowly age.

What was that noise?

Oh, just another one of my cells dying.

Another one of my eggs being released into the fallopian tube to nowhere.

Seriously?

No kids, not married, no career, no Instagram followers,

might as well fucking neck myself.

Fine, I won't.

Eve, have you had any of these kinds of thoughts before?

Oh, Jesus, I'm joking.

Because they are very serious and I can't just ignore them.

You need to promise me that if you have any more thoughts of self-harm,

- you will call me immediately. - Oh, my God OK.

Look, it's OK. I'm not gonna kill myself.

I never finish anything anyway.

- Eve. - I'm joking.

It's a bad joke, I promise.

- Cross my heart, hope to die. - Eve!

- So, what's been happening at work? - Mm, nothing.

Such meaningless shit.

And I don't even really know what I'm meant to be doing.

Maybe I need a new job.

And your mum, she's still in India?

- Yep. - When's she back?

Mmm. -

Um, not until she finds herself.

And have you told her about how you're feeling?

Yeah.

- What does she say? - Oh.

The monkey does not know true freedom until he flings faeces at himself.

There's a monkey emoji and a poop emoji in case you were wondering.

Yeah, she's always been good like that.

You know, little nuggets of wisdom.

Am I growing a fucking moustache?

Jesus.

- And how's your dad? - Fine.

OK.

How's the anxiety been?

It's not, I'm not, I just, I get a bit, sometimes.

Out of 10?

Casual five?

Have you thought about medication?

Something to just hold you, give you a bit of support.

I don't need drugs to make me feel better.

I mean, there was that one time on my 30th but that was different.

I guess an uneventful week is a good week.

Unless there's anything else before we finish up?

Mmm, nope.

Rent came out. Ben broke up with me yesterday.

Oh, and I found a pube, here.

So apart from that, fairly standard.

- Sorry? - I know!

Fucking moustaches and roaming pubic hair.

Welcome to your 30's.

No. Your partner of six years broke up with you yesterday

and you only decided to bring it up now?

He'd already made up his mind so what can I do?

You could tell me how you feel about it.

You could tell me what happened and we could process it together.

Yeh, it's really stuffy in here.

Are you feeling sad?

Angry?

Shocked? -

Well, times up, so.

Eve. Why are you here?

Why do you keep coming to these sessions?

I can't help you unless you are honest with me.

Yeah, look, I really need to go.

I've got a bottle of wine that's not gonna drink itself.

I really do wanna help you, but I'm not a mind reader.

I really do wanna help you, but I'm not a mind reader.

You have to tell me what's going on.

You can keep ignoring your problems but they're not gonna just disappear.

Eve, are you all right?

Last night, I was walking past a driveway and...

This car just sped out and it almost hit me.

It beeped and drove off and...

I stood there after and I didn't care.

Like I,

it's like I knew there was a car coming and I didn't care.

Like, like I didn't.

I didn't care if it hit me.

Like, maybe I wanted it to hit me.

I feel like I'm going nuts.

And I'm trying really hard, I'm just.

I'm trying to do the normal things that other normal people

seem to be doing, but nothing works.

I'm so flat all the time.

I'm such a fucking downer.

And that's what Ben said, he said that I bring him down.

And that's all I do. I just, I cry all the time.

And I bring people down, like some heavy fucking, salty

anchor slut.

Eve, Eve, you are not a salty anchor slut.

Fuck.

Eve, it's perfectly normal to feel things deeply.

It's a gift and a curse.

Like Spider-Man?

You don't have to do what everybody else does.

You just need to be you.

Yeah, I can be a bit of a cunt sometimes.

It's OK to not be OK.

Yeah. I don't think I am.

Oh.

Shut the fuck up!

It's OK.

It's OK. Come on.

- Why don't we go get you a glass of - Sav Blanc?

Absolutely not.

It's weird, you smell like peanuts?