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1
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Where's that?
2
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The Daintree up in Far North Queensland.
3
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- Have you been? - Nope.
4
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It's a lovely place to holiday.
5
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Mm. Yeah, I don't want to get dengue.
6
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I'm Papua New Guinean.
7
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I can tell that place would be a crack den for mozzies.
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Uh, looks tranquil though.
9
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- Would you like some water? - Oh, no thank you.
10
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You seem nervous.
11
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I've had two expressos and a Red Bull. Hm.
12
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I think I might die.
13
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Have you done this before?
14
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No, you see, Red Bull doesn't usually give me wings.
15
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It just gives me diarrhoea.
16
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No, no, no. I mean, have you done therapy before?
17
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Oh.
18
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Oh, shit. No.
19
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This is my first time.
20
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OK. Well, Betty, we'll just go at your own pace.
21
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So you simply share whatever you feel comfortable sharing.
22
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- Are you ready to start? - Yeah.
23
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Yeah. OK.
24
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Cool.
25
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I'm not crazy.
26
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Why do you say that?
27
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My cousin's work mate, got arrested last month for selling
28
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human testicles on the dark web.
29
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Human testicles.
30
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This man wore a tie to work like every day.
31
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Really? That's, that's unfortunate.
32
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He's in jail now, thank God.
33
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But I'm just saying that's like, not me.
34
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I don't even know where the dark web is.
35
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- That's probably for the best. - Yeah.
36
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I mean, how the hell do you even get to the dark web?
37
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Do you have to get into a magical platform -
38
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on a London rail station then boom,
39
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welcome to the dark web school of serial killers and psychopaths?
40
00:02:15,461 --> 00:02:18,981
So, so, like on the scale of crazy, I'm like...
41
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Libby Kennedy from 'Neighbours' normal.
42
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That's an interesting scale.
43
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Does being here make you nervous?
44
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Nervous?
45
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I'm not nervous.
46
00:02:33,741 --> 00:02:37,421
Well, perhaps uncomfortable is a better word.
47
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It's not that I'm uncomfortable, it's just.
48
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OK, yes. No, I mean...
49
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It's...it's the whole talking to a professional thing is a lot.
50
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I see.
51
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I don't know if you've noticed but I'm black
52
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- AND Pacific Islander. - Mm-hm.
53
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I'm Black Pacific Islander.
54
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We don't talk about mental health stuff.
55
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And if we do, you gotta send it to Jesus in a WhatsApp message.
56
00:03:06,861 --> 00:03:09,421
Right, right. So, this is a cultural thing.
57
00:03:09,421 --> 00:03:12,941
My cousin John started seeing a therapist a couple of years ago.
58
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And when my family found out, they started calling him Johnny Depp.
59
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Johnny Depp-ression.
60
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- Oh. Oh. - Yeah.
61
00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:22,381
- OK. - Yeah.
62
00:03:22,381 --> 00:03:26,061
Well, I, I see why this might be a challenge for you.
63
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Guess you could say that.
64
00:03:27,461 --> 00:03:30,061
Well, nothing leaves this room.
65
00:03:30,061 --> 00:03:33,461
Now, it may feel a little strange at first, but as we go on,
66
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you'll get more and more comfortable.
67
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OK.
68
00:03:38,781 --> 00:03:41,741
It's not easy to open up, to be vulnerable.
69
00:03:44,261 --> 00:03:46,701
You've heard of the lobster?
70
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Lobster?
71
00:03:48,501 --> 00:03:51,101
Yep. You know what lobsters do?
72
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I guess they vibe in the dark, and eat shit off the ground?
73
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Mm-hm. Sure.
74
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Could you imagine that you're a lobster for me, Betty?
75
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Uhhh.
76
00:04:02,781 --> 00:04:04,181
Yeah.
77
00:04:04,181 --> 00:04:05,581
OK, great.
78
00:04:05,581 --> 00:04:10,021
So, on the outside, you have this hard, rigid shell.
79
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But on the inside, it's all soft and mushy.
80
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Now in order for it, you, you, the lobster, to grow,
81
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you have to shed your shell.
82
00:04:21,101 --> 00:04:22,181
Do you understand?
83
00:04:23,061 --> 00:04:24,501
Eh.
84
00:04:24,501 --> 00:04:26,741
Why don't you tell me about your week?
85
00:04:28,061 --> 00:04:29,741
OK, sure.
86
00:04:29,741 --> 00:04:30,941
Um...
87
00:04:32,501 --> 00:04:35,261
I've been fine. I've just been busy with work.
88
00:04:35,261 --> 00:04:37,421
So how have you been finding work?
89
00:04:37,421 --> 00:04:39,541
All right.
90
00:04:39,541 --> 00:04:40,781
Work's work.
91
00:04:42,061 --> 00:04:45,101
On your form, instead of writing your address,
92
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you wrote that you've been crying in the cupboard.
93
00:04:47,981 --> 00:04:49,501
Was this at work?
94
00:04:54,101 --> 00:04:55,581
I went looking for a broom.
95
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I, I honestly don't know what happened.
96
00:04:57,301 --> 00:04:59,061
Have you had a cry today?
97
00:05:00,221 --> 00:05:01,541
She's not answering that.
98
00:05:01,541 --> 00:05:03,701
This morning, going through the Maccas drive-through.
99
00:05:05,501 --> 00:05:07,581
I know it's weird.
100
00:05:07,581 --> 00:05:08,941
No, no. It's not weird.
101
00:05:11,021 --> 00:05:14,501
You also ticked grief and loss on your form.
102
00:05:15,661 --> 00:05:17,301
Who did you lose, Betty?
103
00:05:18,781 --> 00:05:21,101
- My Bubu. - What's that?
104
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It's my grandmother.
105
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Don't tell the family you're here.
106
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Remember what happened to cousin John.
107
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And how long ago did she pass?
108
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Um...
109
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Just a, a little over four months ago?
110
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Well, there are no rules in grief.
111
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No timeline.
112
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I know this sounds crazy,
113
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but I can still see...
114
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I mean, I can still feel like she's with me.
115
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Am I crazy?
116
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Shit.
117
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Earl Gray or lemon and ginger?
118
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Mahogany.
119
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Earth to Felix.
120
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Lemon ginger. Please.
121
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So you still haven't answered my question.
122
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I asked you about your friend Hunter.
123
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Did you know, traditionally, mahogany was known
124
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for its healing properties?
125
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A remedy for a troubled heart.
126
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Ash wood for trust and faithfulness.
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But oak, oak was really powerful.
128
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It brought courage, wisdom, love.
129
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Dad?
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Dad.
131
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- Any updates there? - Nice try, Joanne.
132
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So, who gets to do you?
133
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Pardon?
134
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Who makes you tea?
135
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,341
Who listens to you?
136
00:07:03,341 --> 00:07:08,861
Felix, we know avoidance is your default when you're feeling anxious.
137
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Anything you want to tell me?
138
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What do you want me say?
139
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I asked you about your dad
140
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because you ignored my questions about Hunter.
141
00:07:18,821 --> 00:07:21,861
I asked you about Hunter because it seemed like
142
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we made some really good progress there last time.
143
00:07:24,781 --> 00:07:28,141
And I also set you some homework, remember?
144
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You know, mahogany was also used as an aphrodisiac.
145
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And as a laxative.
146
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Not at the same time, hopefully.
147
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So did you do it?
148
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Did you speak to Hunter?
149
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I'll take that as a no.
150
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Felix, I'm surprised.
151
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You're usually so good with homework.
152
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I know.
153
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Can we please talk about something else?
154
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OK, well why don't we talk about Carla.
155
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This involves her too.
156
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Pass.
157
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Your dad?
158
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Definitely pass.
159
00:08:09,581 --> 00:08:12,781
Why, don't we...talk about the fire?
160
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Fine.
161
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Let's talk about Carla.
162
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Great.
163
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Have you spoken to her?
164
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Yep.
165
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Well, not exactly.
166
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I see.
167
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It's been a week, all right.
168
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A week?
169
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Since you've spoken to her?
170
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No, Joanne.
171
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I mean it's been 'a week'.
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Troubles of the heart.
173
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I hear mahogany's good for that.
174
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I did try, you know.
175
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I called her.
176
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But then she answered.
177
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And I froze.
178
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It caught me off guard.
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I just--
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hearing her voice.
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I couldn't speak.
182
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So I hung up.
183
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I hung up on her.
184
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I hung up on Carla.
185
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- Gutless. - Felix.
186
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That took courage.
187
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You really are quite a romantic at heart, aren't you?
188
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Am not?
189
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- Favourite movie? - Romeo and Juliet.
190
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And you watch it for?
191
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For the fight scenes. Obviously.
192
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Obviously.
193
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It happened again.
194
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The dream?
195
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The dream. God.
196
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You know, I feel sorry for you.
197
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Oh. Really?
198
00:09:34,781 --> 00:09:38,941
I mean, you must have people telling you about their dreams all the time.
199
00:09:38,941 --> 00:09:43,381
And you have no choice but to sit there and just listen.
200
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Seriously, listening to other people talk about their dreams
201
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makes me want to stab them.
202
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Stab them?
203
00:09:50,821 --> 00:09:52,741
- Really? - No, Joanne.
204
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Not really.
205
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Metaphorically.
206
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Well, seeing as though I have no choice but to sit here and listen.
207
00:10:02,261 --> 00:10:03,901
Care to elaborate?
208
00:10:05,301 --> 00:10:06,941
Same as last time?
209
00:10:06,941 --> 00:10:08,421
Different.
210
00:10:08,421 --> 00:10:10,061
Worse.
211
00:10:10,061 --> 00:10:11,781
I can't explain it.
212
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Try.
213
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Ashes everywhere.
214
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Embers.
215
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Rubble.
216
00:10:26,021 --> 00:10:28,581
I'm covered in dust.
217
00:10:30,741 --> 00:10:33,261
Under the rubble, Hunter.
218
00:10:34,581 --> 00:10:36,781
I'm digging, trying to get to him.
219
00:10:36,781 --> 00:10:40,301
Digging, digging. My hands are burning.
220
00:10:40,301 --> 00:10:43,621
It's so hot. My lungs hurt.
221
00:10:43,621 --> 00:10:45,821
I can't see.
222
00:10:45,821 --> 00:10:48,461
I can hear my dad screaming somewhere.
223
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You fucking idiot.
224
00:10:51,541 --> 00:10:53,581
I try to pull Hunter free.
225
00:10:53,581 --> 00:10:55,301
But there's so much smoke.
226
00:10:57,701 --> 00:10:59,181
I can't breathe.
227
00:11:00,261 --> 00:11:01,381
I can't breathe!
228
00:11:02,981 --> 00:11:05,461
Felix, you're OK. It's OK.
229
00:11:05,461 --> 00:11:08,021
What?! It's not OK.
230
00:11:08,021 --> 00:11:10,901
A visceral reaction is completely normal.
231
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Normal?! Why did you make me do that?
232
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When we sit in the discomfort, work with the discomfort,
233
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the answers reveal themselves.
234
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I am sitting in the discomfort.
235
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You're just sitting there and telling me that the answers
236
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will magically appear.
237
00:11:28,381 --> 00:11:31,021
You're meant to be giving me the answers.
238
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Felix, I can't do that.
239
00:11:32,981 --> 00:11:36,221
My job is to help you find them.
240
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We look for the answers so that we can move forward. Powerfully.
241
00:11:40,821 --> 00:11:43,741
How is this for moving forward, powerfully?
242
00:12:11,821 --> 00:12:13,501
Same time next week?
243
00:13:06,581 --> 00:13:09,541
- Is that peanut brittle? - Mm-mm. cashew.
244
00:13:09,541 --> 00:13:13,581
- Cashew? - Mm-hm, it was a gift.
245
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Who sends cashew brittle as a gift?
246
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What a psychopath.
247
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This is a really long hour.
248
00:13:29,661 --> 00:13:32,061
Eve, how are you, really?
249
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Fine.
250
00:13:33,341 --> 00:13:35,461
Fine, just fine?
251
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How many times are you gonna ask me that today?
252
00:13:38,141 --> 00:13:40,541
How many times are you not gonna answer?
253
00:13:40,541 --> 00:13:44,941
OK, um, I'm...
254
00:13:44,941 --> 00:13:49,181
..bored and I don't care about anything.
255
00:13:49,181 --> 00:13:50,821
I see.
256
00:13:50,821 --> 00:13:52,741
Still hate my job.
257
00:13:52,741 --> 00:13:55,781
I just sit there all day, hearing myself slowly age.
258
00:13:55,781 --> 00:13:57,141
What was that noise?
259
00:13:57,141 --> 00:13:59,461
Oh, just another one of my cells dying.
260
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Another one of my eggs being released into the fallopian tube to nowhere.
261
00:14:02,781 --> 00:14:04,101
Seriously?
262
00:14:04,101 --> 00:14:07,941
No kids, not married, no career, no Instagram followers,
263
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might as well fucking neck myself.
264
00:14:11,181 --> 00:14:12,701
Fine, I won't.
265
00:14:12,701 --> 00:14:17,221
Eve, have you had any of these kinds of thoughts before?
266
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Oh, Jesus, I'm joking.
267
00:14:18,861 --> 00:14:22,461
Because they are very serious and I can't just ignore them.
268
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You need to promise me that if you have any more thoughts of self-harm,
269
00:14:28,221 --> 00:14:30,861
- you will call me immediately. - Oh, my God OK.
270
00:14:30,861 --> 00:14:33,221
Look, it's OK. I'm not gonna kill myself.
271
00:14:33,221 --> 00:14:34,941
I never finish anything anyway.
272
00:14:34,941 --> 00:14:36,421
- Eve. - I'm joking.
273
00:14:36,421 --> 00:14:38,421
It's a bad joke, I promise.
274
00:14:40,061 --> 00:14:41,941
- Cross my heart, hope to die. - Eve!
275
00:14:44,061 --> 00:14:46,741
- So, what's been happening at work? - Mm, nothing.
276
00:14:46,741 --> 00:14:48,541
Such meaningless shit.
277
00:14:49,781 --> 00:14:53,181
And I don't even really know what I'm meant to be doing.
278
00:14:53,181 --> 00:14:54,741
Maybe I need a new job.
279
00:14:55,981 --> 00:14:57,941
And your mum, she's still in India?
280
00:14:57,941 --> 00:14:59,861
- Yep. - When's she back?
281
00:14:59,861 --> 00:15:01,141
Mmm. -
282
00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:05,741
Um, not until she finds herself.
283
00:15:07,701 --> 00:15:09,821
And have you told her about how you're feeling?
284
00:15:09,821 --> 00:15:11,021
Yeah.
285
00:15:11,021 --> 00:15:12,741
- What does she say? - Oh.
286
00:15:15,541 --> 00:15:21,541
The monkey does not know true freedom until he flings faeces at himself.
287
00:15:23,581 --> 00:15:28,101
There's a monkey emoji and a poop emoji in case you were wondering.
288
00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:30,221
Yeah, she's always been good like that.
289
00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:32,141
You know, little nuggets of wisdom.
290
00:15:35,141 --> 00:15:37,621
Am I growing a fucking moustache?
291
00:15:37,621 --> 00:15:38,701
Jesus.
292
00:15:38,701 --> 00:15:40,501
- And how's your dad? - Fine.
293
00:15:42,621 --> 00:15:43,981
OK.
294
00:15:45,261 --> 00:15:46,781
How's the anxiety been?
295
00:15:46,781 --> 00:15:49,781
It's not, I'm not, I just, I get a bit, sometimes.
296
00:15:57,061 --> 00:15:58,341
Out of 10?
297
00:16:05,821 --> 00:16:07,261
Casual five?
298
00:16:09,021 --> 00:16:11,101
Have you thought about medication?
299
00:16:11,101 --> 00:16:14,701
Something to just hold you, give you a bit of support.
300
00:16:14,701 --> 00:16:16,621
I don't need drugs to make me feel better.
301
00:16:16,621 --> 00:16:19,341
I mean, there was that one time on my 30th but that was different.
302
00:16:19,341 --> 00:16:21,941
I guess an uneventful week is a good week.
303
00:16:24,021 --> 00:16:26,701
Unless there's anything else before we finish up?
304
00:16:26,701 --> 00:16:28,381
Mmm, nope.
305
00:16:28,381 --> 00:16:30,981
Rent came out. Ben broke up with me yesterday.
306
00:16:30,981 --> 00:16:33,621
Oh, and I found a pube, here.
307
00:16:33,621 --> 00:16:35,341
So apart from that, fairly standard.
308
00:16:35,341 --> 00:16:36,821
- Sorry? - I know!
309
00:16:36,821 --> 00:16:39,341
Fucking moustaches and roaming pubic hair.
310
00:16:39,341 --> 00:16:40,821
Welcome to your 30's.
311
00:16:40,821 --> 00:16:44,661
No. Your partner of six years broke up with you yesterday
312
00:16:44,661 --> 00:16:47,181
and you only decided to bring it up now?
313
00:16:47,181 --> 00:16:49,461
He'd already made up his mind so what can I do?
314
00:16:49,461 --> 00:16:51,621
You could tell me how you feel about it.
315
00:16:51,621 --> 00:16:55,221
You could tell me what happened and we could process it together.
316
00:16:55,221 --> 00:16:57,381
Yeh, it's really stuffy in here.
317
00:16:57,381 --> 00:16:59,221
Are you feeling sad?
318
00:16:59,221 --> 00:17:01,221
Angry?
319
00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:02,701
Shocked? -
320
00:17:02,701 --> 00:17:04,621
Well, times up, so.
321
00:17:05,661 --> 00:17:07,981
Eve. Why are you here?
322
00:17:09,061 --> 00:17:11,101
Why do you keep coming to these sessions?
323
00:17:11,101 --> 00:17:14,261
I can't help you unless you are honest with me.
324
00:17:14,261 --> 00:17:16,341
Yeah, look, I really need to go.
325
00:17:16,341 --> 00:17:18,501
I've got a bottle of wine that's not gonna drink itself.
326
00:17:18,501 --> 00:17:22,141
I really do wanna help you, but I'm not a mind reader.
327
00:17:22,141 --> 00:17:22,261
I really do wanna help you, but I'm not a mind reader.
328
00:17:22,261 --> 00:17:24,901
You have to tell me what's going on.
329
00:17:24,901 --> 00:17:29,381
You can keep ignoring your problems but they're not gonna just disappear.
330
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:37,181
Eve, are you all right?
331
00:17:42,901 --> 00:17:47,301
Last night, I was walking past a driveway and...
332
00:17:50,101 --> 00:17:52,741
This car just sped out and it almost hit me.
333
00:17:55,221 --> 00:17:57,501
It beeped and drove off and...
334
00:18:01,221 --> 00:18:04,101
I stood there after and I didn't care.
335
00:18:05,981 --> 00:18:07,661
Like I,
336
00:18:07,661 --> 00:18:10,141
it's like I knew there was a car coming and I didn't care.
337
00:18:10,141 --> 00:18:12,061
Like, like I didn't.
338
00:18:12,061 --> 00:18:14,581
I didn't care if it hit me.
339
00:18:16,781 --> 00:18:18,941
Like, maybe I wanted it to hit me.
340
00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:23,621
I feel like I'm going nuts.
341
00:18:23,621 --> 00:18:25,701
And I'm trying really hard, I'm just.
342
00:18:25,701 --> 00:18:28,261
I'm trying to do the normal things that other normal people
343
00:18:28,261 --> 00:18:30,741
seem to be doing, but nothing works.
344
00:18:30,741 --> 00:18:32,501
I'm so flat all the time.
345
00:18:34,301 --> 00:18:36,101
I'm such a fucking downer.
346
00:18:36,101 --> 00:18:38,821
And that's what Ben said, he said that I bring him down.
347
00:18:38,821 --> 00:18:42,181
And that's all I do. I just, I cry all the time.
348
00:18:42,181 --> 00:18:47,621
And I bring people down, like some heavy fucking, salty
349
00:18:47,621 --> 00:18:49,941
anchor slut.
350
00:18:49,941 --> 00:18:55,701
Eve, Eve, you are not a salty anchor slut.
351
00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:57,141
Fuck.
352
00:19:00,101 --> 00:19:03,941
Eve, it's perfectly normal to feel things deeply.
353
00:19:05,101 --> 00:19:08,061
It's a gift and a curse.
354
00:19:08,061 --> 00:19:09,501
Like Spider-Man?
355
00:19:09,501 --> 00:19:12,341
You don't have to do what everybody else does.
356
00:19:12,341 --> 00:19:14,661
You just need to be you.
357
00:19:14,661 --> 00:19:17,381
Yeah, I can be a bit of a cunt sometimes.
358
00:19:17,381 --> 00:19:20,021
It's OK to not be OK.
359
00:19:20,541 --> 00:19:23,181
Yeah. I don't think I am.
360
00:19:25,501 --> 00:19:27,301
Oh.
361
00:19:28,621 --> 00:19:30,541
Shut the fuck up!
362
00:19:55,501 --> 00:19:57,581
It's OK.
363
00:19:57,581 --> 00:19:59,621
It's OK. Come on.
364
00:19:59,621 --> 00:20:03,061
- Why don't we go get you a glass of - Sav Blanc?
365
00:20:03,061 --> 00:20:04,781
Absolutely not.
366
00:20:08,101 --> 00:20:10,941
It's weird, you smell like peanuts?
25508
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