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You know,
that's a very good question.
A lot of people ask me that:
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00:02:14,344 --> 00:02:19,793
how you stay in
business thirty-five years?
5
00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:24,931
After all, All You Can Eat
places springing up everywhere.
6
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,586
How you stay alive?
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00:02:27,655 --> 00:02:31,793
Answer is regular customers.
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00:02:31,862 --> 00:02:34,931
We get all kinds
of people come in here.
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00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:39,275
After awhile,
you get to know them.
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00:02:39,275 --> 00:02:46,000
One man a salesman, always in
here, always having problems...
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00:02:48,586 --> 00:02:50,000
It's not me. It's the product.
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00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:52,413
You've got
to have the right product.
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00:02:52,482 --> 00:02:54,586
I'll tell you a story.
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00:02:54,655 --> 00:02:56,931
This was a while back,
we'd been married a year,
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00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,344
maybe two...
before the kid anyway.
16
00:02:59,448 --> 00:03:02,655
I get
this phone call from this guy,
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00:03:02,793 --> 00:03:05,379
he's selling oriental rugs.
18
00:03:05,517 --> 00:03:07,034
O.K. I've got to get
an anniversary present you know
19
00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:09,827
the last thing I'm thinking
about is an oriental rug.
20
00:03:09,965 --> 00:03:11,896
I'm thinking a ring,
a trip somewhere...
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00:03:12,034 --> 00:03:17,034
But the way this guy described
this rug... I had to have it.
22
00:03:17,172 --> 00:03:19,862
And we had
wall-to-wall carpeting.
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00:03:19,931 --> 00:03:24,310
I ran over to the
guy's shop - saw the rug.
24
00:03:24,379 --> 00:03:26,827
Then I saw the guy.
25
00:03:26,965 --> 00:03:29,482
He was blind.
26
00:03:29,551 --> 00:03:32,896
A blind man, selling
these rugs over the phone.
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00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,896
Wow, I thought...
28
00:03:35,034 --> 00:03:38,724
...now that's a guy
who believes in the product.
29
00:03:40,689 --> 00:03:45,034
Another man, very friendly
but very, very lonely...
30
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,586
One time I hired
these Portuguese plasterers.
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00:03:49,689 --> 00:03:51,655
I'm visiting the site
and there they are,
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00:03:51,724 --> 00:03:52,965
all gathered
around the port-a-Johnny
33
00:03:53,034 --> 00:03:54,551
going, "Oohh, aahh!"
34
00:03:54,655 --> 00:03:55,896
What gives?
35
00:03:56,034 --> 00:03:57,862
I go over, and they're
all saying, "Look! Look!"
36
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,517
Inside there's this guy, Manny.
37
00:04:00,586 --> 00:04:03,379
You know what he's doing?
You know what the big deal is?
38
00:04:03,448 --> 00:04:05,896
He's showing
these guys his underwear.
39
00:04:05,965 --> 00:04:09,068
Claims
there's this skid mark inside
looks just like Jesus Christ.
40
00:04:09,206 --> 00:04:11,724
I laugh, I forget about it...
41
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:13,931
Next time I'm on the site,
there's Manny again,
42
00:04:14,068 --> 00:04:15,931
and this time
he's all depressed.
43
00:04:16,068 --> 00:04:17,413
Had a fight with his wife.
44
00:04:17,482 --> 00:04:19,034
Know why he was mad at her?
45
00:04:19,103 --> 00:04:21,103
She rinsed out his underwear.
46
00:04:21,241 --> 00:04:23,586
You know
what she did, he says to me.
47
00:04:23,724 --> 00:04:26,896
She created a Godless universe.
48
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:29,586
Anyway,
that's how I feel these days.
49
00:04:29,655 --> 00:04:32,206
I feel like a guy going
around with clean underwear.
50
00:04:33,965 --> 00:04:37,103
...Also, young man
who practices Feng Shui,
51
00:04:37,241 --> 00:04:41,586
Oriental art of room design.
52
00:04:41,655 --> 00:04:45,586
Funny thing is,
his life big mess...
53
00:04:47,586 --> 00:04:49,482
Okay, this guy, he call me up.
54
00:04:49,586 --> 00:04:51,379
Very depressed gentlemen.
55
00:04:51,448 --> 00:04:55,758
Just
move into new place; his wife
just leave him, the whole bit.
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00:04:55,827 --> 00:04:58,793
He say, "I see this
thing on television, Feng Shui,
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00:04:58,931 --> 00:05:01,000
says if I paint
my house the right color,
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00:05:01,137 --> 00:05:03,620
if I arrange
my furniture properly,
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00:05:03,689 --> 00:05:07,862
can be bring me
increased happiness." I say yes.
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00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,689
He say "That very good for
me right because I need to start
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00:05:10,827 --> 00:05:15,655
my life over, on the right
foot this time." So I help him.
62
00:05:15,724 --> 00:05:19,482
I buy paint for him, I tell
him where to put his furniture,
63
00:05:19,551 --> 00:05:23,172
I buy wind chimes
for him. Symbol of good luck.
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00:05:23,310 --> 00:05:25,689
Place look great.
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00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:28,034
Couple of
weeks later, I call him.
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00:05:28,137 --> 00:05:29,689
No answer.
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00:05:29,793 --> 00:05:31,862
I go over to his house.
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00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:35,965
This dumb fucker, he
hang himself with wind chimes.
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00:05:36,034 --> 00:05:37,896
He is right there in
this middle of the living room,
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00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,206
perfectly arranged to
bring him increased happiness,
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00:05:40,310 --> 00:05:44,655
going "ding ding, ding ding."
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00:05:44,793 --> 00:05:47,137
First thing I do, I quickly
hang his old shit up on walls
73
00:05:47,275 --> 00:05:50,655
and rearrange furniture
so that it look all wrong.
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00:05:50,793 --> 00:05:53,655
After all,
I have reputation to maintain.
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00:05:54,965 --> 00:05:56,724
Yes.
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00:05:56,827 --> 00:06:02,793
They are all very
amusing to observe and study.
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00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,758
I think our listeners might
be interested in hearing
78
00:06:04,862 --> 00:06:07,689
what brings
these people here?
79
00:06:07,758 --> 00:06:09,827
What bring them here?
80
00:06:09,896 --> 00:06:13,724
Well... maybe, just maybe,
81
00:06:13,793 --> 00:06:19,068
is something here
they cannot get anywhere else.
82
00:06:23,724 --> 00:06:25,724
Hi.
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00:06:25,862 --> 00:06:27,517
Excuse me but...
this table is reserved.
84
00:06:27,586 --> 00:06:29,551
I know.
85
00:06:29,689 --> 00:06:31,034
You mean, you're
"Well preserved brunette,
86
00:06:31,172 --> 00:06:34,896
into cooking, gardening
and romance novels?"
87
00:06:35,034 --> 00:06:37,862
I forgot to add
"Very prone to hyperbole."
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00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,689
Actually, I'm "a thin
bald man, into old movies,
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00:06:40,827 --> 00:06:43,172
baseball,
and Chinese food."
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00:06:43,241 --> 00:06:45,551
What are you doing?
91
00:06:45,620 --> 00:06:47,034
When you say "baseball",
do you mean as in
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00:06:47,103 --> 00:06:49,206
one of us will "pitch"
and one of us will "catch"?
93
00:06:49,344 --> 00:06:50,862
No.
It's nothing like that.
94
00:06:54,172 --> 00:06:55,586
What are you
looking at?
95
00:06:55,689 --> 00:06:58,068
You.
96
00:06:58,206 --> 00:07:00,931
I guess it's about time I told
you what's going on here, huh?
97
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,896
I'd say it's
your last chance.
98
00:07:02,965 --> 00:07:04,172
Marshall Cotton.
99
00:07:04,275 --> 00:07:05,827
Joe Regan.
100
00:07:05,931 --> 00:07:09,103
Regan? Irish.
101
00:07:09,241 --> 00:07:10,310
You a drinker, Joe?
102
00:07:10,448 --> 00:07:11,827
Are you buying?
103
00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:14,103
Mm...
what about your job.
104
00:07:14,172 --> 00:07:15,310
I'm a musician.
105
00:07:15,413 --> 00:07:18,000
God! Strike two.
106
00:07:18,103 --> 00:07:19,586
Well, is it
steady at least?
107
00:07:19,655 --> 00:07:20,931
Ten years.
108
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,172
Really? Are you pulling
in a good salary?
109
00:07:23,275 --> 00:07:25,206
Like the suit?
110
00:07:25,275 --> 00:07:27,275
Hmm.
111
00:07:27,413 --> 00:07:29,724
Now I guess you're
really wondering what
the hell's going on, huh?
112
00:07:29,793 --> 00:07:31,620
Are you some
kind of salesman?
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00:07:31,689 --> 00:07:34,344
"Some kind of salesman."
Very good description.
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00:07:34,448 --> 00:07:37,103
Ten years in the business and
I haven't figured out what kind.
115
00:07:37,241 --> 00:07:38,620
I keep trying.
116
00:07:38,758 --> 00:07:42,620
Fitness equipment,
radio airtime...
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00:07:42,758 --> 00:07:44,620
ex wives...
118
00:07:49,241 --> 00:07:53,724
She'd be much happier
looking after a man.
119
00:07:53,793 --> 00:07:55,689
So why wasn't it you?
120
00:07:55,793 --> 00:07:58,137
Security, that's what
Melinda's all about.
121
00:07:58,275 --> 00:07:59,931
That's not me.
122
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,655
I've got
enough pink slips to make a
paper machee Mary Kay car.
123
00:08:02,793 --> 00:08:04,241
What's in it for you?
124
00:08:04,344 --> 00:08:06,172
My commission?
125
00:08:06,241 --> 00:08:09,241
Let's just say it would
help to smooth things over.
126
00:08:09,344 --> 00:08:11,379
I've been in
the doghouse so often
127
00:08:11,517 --> 00:08:13,827
I started drinking
out of the toilet.
128
00:08:13,896 --> 00:08:16,827
Oh, heck. I gotta run.
New job interview.
129
00:08:16,965 --> 00:08:19,137
I'll call you.
Tell you how the pitch went.
130
00:08:19,206 --> 00:08:21,206
Pitch? What pitch?
131
00:08:21,344 --> 00:08:23,000
To Melinda.
132
00:08:23,068 --> 00:08:25,172
You mean... she doesn't
know you're doing this?
133
00:08:25,241 --> 00:08:27,172
I thought you were
acting on her behalf.
134
00:08:27,310 --> 00:08:28,724
Joe, relax.
135
00:08:28,827 --> 00:08:30,000
I'm a salesman, O.K.
136
00:08:30,068 --> 00:08:31,655
Everything'll work out fine.
137
00:08:31,793 --> 00:08:33,965
Trust me.
138
00:08:34,034 --> 00:08:36,000
Oh. Uh,
I'm a little short.
139
00:08:36,137 --> 00:08:37,862
Can you handle
my drink? Thanks.
140
00:08:43,310 --> 00:08:45,172
Honey, I'm hommmme!
141
00:08:45,310 --> 00:08:46,965
Not any more you're not.
142
00:08:47,034 --> 00:08:49,000
What's that?
143
00:08:49,068 --> 00:08:52,724
"Men: "Plague or Pestilence?"
144
00:08:52,862 --> 00:08:54,310
If you must now,
it's what we're reading
145
00:08:54,379 --> 00:08:56,172
at our women's
discussion group tonight.
146
00:08:56,241 --> 00:08:58,172
You know a lot's happened in the
world since this book came out,
147
00:08:58,310 --> 00:09:01,034
hey we've got
Newfoundland now did you know?
148
00:09:01,103 --> 00:09:02,413
Screw you!
149
00:09:02,482 --> 00:09:03,896
Is the kid ready yet?
150
00:09:03,965 --> 00:09:06,034
Okay, dad, I'm ready to go.
151
00:09:06,103 --> 00:09:08,724
Okay, hon -
wait a minute, what is that?
152
00:09:08,793 --> 00:09:11,241
It's the new glove
mom bought me.
153
00:09:11,379 --> 00:09:13,310
You won't be able to
play with that glove.
154
00:09:13,413 --> 00:09:14,206
Okay? I'm sorry.
155
00:09:14,344 --> 00:09:15,758
Why not?
156
00:09:15,827 --> 00:09:18,034
It's way too big,
you have to take that off.
157
00:09:18,103 --> 00:09:20,103
Hey.
158
00:09:20,241 --> 00:09:21,931
I paid good money
for that, Marshall.
159
00:09:22,068 --> 00:09:23,103
Look at the size
of that thing.
160
00:09:23,241 --> 00:09:25,724
What's she going to catch,
Falling Cosmonauts?
161
00:09:25,862 --> 00:09:27,068
I want her to
play second base,
162
00:09:27,206 --> 00:09:29,482
you cannot play second base
with an outfielders glove.
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00:09:29,586 --> 00:09:31,724
Well it's not like I can
afford to buy her a new one,
164
00:09:31,793 --> 00:09:33,034
and do you know why?
165
00:09:33,103 --> 00:09:36,724
Because your child
support was late again.
166
00:09:36,793 --> 00:09:40,206
Hey, why does child
support always imply money?
167
00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:42,448
I support my child
in a lot of other ways.
168
00:09:42,586 --> 00:09:44,965
I help coach
her ball team, I... I...
169
00:09:45,068 --> 00:09:46,931
You won't
let me play outfield...
170
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,896
Hey, this is between me
and your mother, all right?
171
00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:52,275
What, you'll
never be salesman of the year
172
00:09:52,413 --> 00:09:55,241
so you're trying
to be father of the year.
173
00:09:55,310 --> 00:09:56,931
Some father!
174
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,068
I can't believe the things
you put yourself though...
175
00:09:59,137 --> 00:10:02,413
Let's keep our
marriage out of this.
176
00:10:02,551 --> 00:10:05,379
Remember the first time you
went to one of these things,
177
00:10:05,448 --> 00:10:07,034
you came to me and
you said felt guilty
178
00:10:07,103 --> 00:10:10,068
because you'd never had
a lesbian experience?
179
00:10:10,137 --> 00:10:12,896
Marshall!
In front of our daughter!
180
00:10:12,965 --> 00:10:15,689
That's okay, mom.
My friend Julie's a lesbian.
181
00:10:15,758 --> 00:10:19,137
No, honey,
that's Lebanese.
182
00:10:19,275 --> 00:10:21,275
I hounded this poor woman we had
at the office for three weeks.
183
00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:24,103
Then, when I finally get
her here, what a bust!
184
00:10:24,172 --> 00:10:27,793
All it was you two trading home
improvement tips all night.
185
00:10:27,931 --> 00:10:32,103
"Gee", you said afterwards,
"I was really nervous
but that turned out great."
186
00:10:32,241 --> 00:10:35,275
What, still disappointed you
never got your jollies off?
187
00:10:35,413 --> 00:10:37,068
Hey, I only wanted to
watch because I thought
188
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:39,896
she might be dangerous;
what did we know about her?
189
00:10:39,965 --> 00:10:40,965
Dad!
190
00:10:41,068 --> 00:10:42,482
Okay, honey, okay.
191
00:10:42,586 --> 00:10:44,206
All I'm trying
to say is this.
192
00:10:44,275 --> 00:10:45,965
Just take one night,
and an instead of going
193
00:10:46,103 --> 00:10:49,206
to this discussion group,
go out and meet a nice guy.
194
00:10:49,275 --> 00:10:51,862
Someone who'll
appreciate you for you.
195
00:10:51,931 --> 00:10:54,241
Nobody wants
that, Marshall.
196
00:10:54,310 --> 00:10:57,413
Nobody's ever wanted
that, not even you.
197
00:10:57,482 --> 00:11:01,310
Besides, where am I supposed
to find somebody like that?
198
00:11:01,448 --> 00:11:03,034
His name's Joe Regan.
199
00:11:03,137 --> 00:11:05,034
Marshall! Stop it!
200
00:11:05,137 --> 00:11:06,482
Had lunch with
him the other day.
201
00:11:06,551 --> 00:11:08,793
Very basic guy deep down.
202
00:11:08,931 --> 00:11:12,793
"Basic guy deep
down", meaning what,
203
00:11:12,931 --> 00:11:15,482
on the surface
he's a complete flake?
204
00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:18,172
Complete flake, musicians
- let's not split hairs.
205
00:11:18,310 --> 00:11:21,482
That's good - you haven't
got too many left to split.
206
00:11:21,620 --> 00:11:27,758
This guy has had the
same job ten years.
207
00:11:27,827 --> 00:11:29,172
Really?
208
00:11:29,310 --> 00:11:31,034
Makes good money too.
209
00:11:31,137 --> 00:11:34,275
The single mom thing
doesn't faze him one bit.
210
00:11:34,413 --> 00:11:35,931
Dad!
211
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,827
O.K. Honey, O.K.
212
00:11:37,896 --> 00:11:41,413
He's the kind of guy
whose underwear you'd be
very happy to rinse out.
213
00:11:41,482 --> 00:11:44,103
He wears underwear?
214
00:11:44,172 --> 00:11:45,793
Already he's
outclassed you.
215
00:11:45,862 --> 00:11:46,965
Are we going or what?
216
00:11:47,034 --> 00:11:48,793
Okay, okay.
217
00:11:48,931 --> 00:11:49,965
So I tell
you what I'm going to do,
218
00:11:50,034 --> 00:11:51,172
I'm leaving you his number.
219
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:53,379
If you get
a chance then give him a call,
220
00:11:53,482 --> 00:11:55,172
and if it works out, great.
221
00:11:55,310 --> 00:11:59,482
If it doesn't work out, then
I'll gladly refund your misery.
222
00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:03,931
Come on honey lets go.
223
00:12:04,034 --> 00:12:05,000
Bye Mommy.
224
00:12:05,068 --> 00:12:06,379
Bye sweetie.
225
00:12:06,448 --> 00:12:08,068
Have a good game.
226
00:12:28,551 --> 00:12:29,413
Andrew.
227
00:12:29,517 --> 00:12:30,862
Andrew, over here.
228
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,689
Over here! Have a seat.
229
00:12:34,551 --> 00:12:36,241
You don't mind if I
call you Andrew, do you?
230
00:12:36,379 --> 00:12:37,896
I'm not big on formality.
231
00:12:38,034 --> 00:12:39,379
I don't mind at all.
232
00:12:39,448 --> 00:12:41,275
Good.
All that P's and Q's.
233
00:12:41,379 --> 00:12:43,896
If I wanted Ps and Qs
I woulda picked some place
234
00:12:44,034 --> 00:12:46,896
that serves
alphabet soup, huh?
235
00:12:46,965 --> 00:12:51,137
I know you're pressed for
time so I ordered ahead.
236
00:12:51,241 --> 00:12:53,206
Like I said to you on the phone,
just a couple of spring rolls.
237
00:12:53,275 --> 00:12:56,068
That should be fine. Yes.
238
00:12:56,206 --> 00:13:00,034
Good. Hey, I knew a guy
once, he wore two watches.
239
00:13:00,172 --> 00:13:01,344
I said,
"What the hell's that for?"
240
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:04,241
He said,
"I like a second opinion."
241
00:13:04,310 --> 00:13:05,620
Look at that.
242
00:13:05,689 --> 00:13:07,413
Is that service or
is that service?
243
00:13:07,482 --> 00:13:11,275
As they say
in China, grazzi.
244
00:13:11,413 --> 00:13:14,413
Thanks again,
Andrew, really.
245
00:13:14,482 --> 00:13:17,620
I mean, meeting in a place
like this, I know it's unusual.
246
00:13:17,689 --> 00:13:21,965
The thing with your office
is it's too anti-septic.
247
00:13:22,034 --> 00:13:24,310
I mean, I've never been
there but that's my guess.
248
00:13:24,448 --> 00:13:26,413
Don't get me wrong.
249
00:13:26,482 --> 00:13:29,172
It's just that those kinda
places, they leave me cold.
250
00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:32,310
Too sterile. Unfeeling.
251
00:13:32,448 --> 00:13:34,448
If I want that,
I can go home.
252
00:13:34,586 --> 00:13:37,448
Why? What is
the problem at home?
253
00:13:37,586 --> 00:13:41,310
The problem at
home is my mother.
254
00:13:41,448 --> 00:13:44,310
Christ, I wish my old
man was still alive.
255
00:13:44,448 --> 00:13:47,172
Ya, know what he
did for living?
256
00:13:47,275 --> 00:13:49,931
Sold these little
plastic lizards.
257
00:13:50,068 --> 00:13:51,931
You throw 'em against
a wall; they crawl down
258
00:13:52,068 --> 00:13:53,931
in this funny
zig zag pattern.
259
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,068
Cost ten cents to make.
260
00:13:56,137 --> 00:13:59,068
A lotta laughs -
for about ten seconds.
261
00:13:59,137 --> 00:14:01,517
Imagine the kind of talking
you gotta do to be able
262
00:14:01,586 --> 00:14:04,517
to sell people ten seconds
worth of entertainment?
263
00:14:04,586 --> 00:14:07,344
Imagine how thick you
have to lay it on?
264
00:14:07,482 --> 00:14:12,000
And is he dead now
or are they separated?
265
00:14:12,068 --> 00:14:15,068
Yeah, he's dead now.
266
00:14:15,172 --> 00:14:17,241
You shoulda seen
the guys at his funeral:
267
00:14:17,344 --> 00:14:19,689
guys who sold Slinkys,
268
00:14:19,758 --> 00:14:22,172
guys those funny little
invisible dog leashes...
269
00:14:22,310 --> 00:14:24,965
one guy, he sold these
magic eight balls,
270
00:14:25,034 --> 00:14:27,206
the ones you shake
and get an answer?
271
00:14:27,344 --> 00:14:29,000
He shakes this at
the funeral, he says
272
00:14:29,137 --> 00:14:32,620
"Will Zack Warden
find peace in heaven"?
273
00:14:32,689 --> 00:14:34,965
"It is probable."
274
00:14:35,034 --> 00:14:38,000
Anyway, that's why
I had to take Ma in.
275
00:14:38,068 --> 00:14:39,517
We haven't spoken in years.
276
00:14:39,655 --> 00:14:42,241
At least she hasn't
spoken to me in years.
277
00:14:42,344 --> 00:14:44,965
It's a bitch coming
home to her every night.
278
00:14:45,034 --> 00:14:46,344
Her and the kid.
279
00:14:46,482 --> 00:14:48,517
The kid?
280
00:14:48,586 --> 00:14:51,379
Andrew. Go easy.
Chew your food.
281
00:14:51,517 --> 00:14:54,241
I told you. I don't have
a lot of time for this today.
282
00:14:54,344 --> 00:14:57,172
I know. I'm sorry.
283
00:14:57,241 --> 00:14:59,172
This is just
to break the ice.
284
00:14:59,310 --> 00:15:01,448
Anyway, my son.
285
00:15:01,586 --> 00:15:05,586
I love him
dearly but he's the least
expressive kid you ever met.
286
00:15:05,724 --> 00:15:07,448
You know what say
to the guys at work?
287
00:15:07,586 --> 00:15:11,655
I say that at school, he's
another kid's imaginary friend.
288
00:15:11,758 --> 00:15:14,137
My sincerest apologies
but I really have to go.
289
00:15:14,241 --> 00:15:15,758
Hey, you're
leaving already.
290
00:15:15,827 --> 00:15:17,379
He must have really
liked your food.
291
00:15:17,448 --> 00:15:18,793
The food was fine.
292
00:15:18,896 --> 00:15:21,413
Next time,
we will meet here again,
293
00:15:21,482 --> 00:15:24,413
and we will sit and talk
for a long time, all right?
294
00:15:24,482 --> 00:15:25,793
A long time? Sure.
295
00:15:25,896 --> 00:15:28,655
Shall we say
next Thursday then?
296
00:15:28,758 --> 00:15:32,310
All right.
"Next Thursday then."
297
00:15:32,413 --> 00:15:34,206
How was that?
Did I pass the audition?
298
00:15:34,275 --> 00:15:36,758
All right.
I'll see you then.
299
00:15:36,896 --> 00:15:39,068
Hey, Andrew.
300
00:15:39,137 --> 00:15:41,724
Ya, think you can
help me... really?
301
00:15:46,724 --> 00:15:48,551
"It is probable."
302
00:15:52,758 --> 00:15:55,275
Hey Andrew, you forgot
your fortune cookie.
303
00:16:02,655 --> 00:16:06,172
"Can new voices be wrought
from ancient instruments?"
304
00:16:07,965 --> 00:16:09,689
What the hell does that mean?
305
00:16:21,965 --> 00:16:24,241
Hey, Ma, how you doing?
306
00:16:29,620 --> 00:16:32,310
It's me. Your son?
307
00:16:39,862 --> 00:16:44,310
So you're peeling some carrots?
308
00:16:44,448 --> 00:16:47,689
Well I mean
a second ago you were..?
309
00:16:47,827 --> 00:16:52,620
How is it
that they haven't recalled
those uppers you're taking?
310
00:17:05,034 --> 00:17:06,517
Hi, son...
311
00:17:08,689 --> 00:17:10,344
I said hi, son.
312
00:17:10,482 --> 00:17:11,862
Hi.
313
00:17:13,827 --> 00:17:15,517
How was school
today? All right?
314
00:17:18,379 --> 00:17:21,206
I said how was
your day, all right?
315
00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:22,517
...Good.
316
00:17:22,655 --> 00:17:24,344
Good.
317
00:17:27,517 --> 00:17:31,206
Well... good is good.
318
00:17:31,275 --> 00:17:34,241
What can I say? Another day
at the Marceau household.
319
00:17:40,482 --> 00:17:42,241
Life right now...
320
00:17:42,344 --> 00:17:43,689
life is bad.
321
00:17:43,827 --> 00:17:45,827
Life very, very bad.
322
00:17:45,896 --> 00:17:48,517
Why you say that, son?
323
00:17:48,655 --> 00:17:50,586
I tell you why.
324
00:17:50,724 --> 00:17:53,620
Because here in this city,
because Asian population
325
00:17:53,724 --> 00:17:58,241
is so small, no one
understand Feng Shui.
326
00:17:58,379 --> 00:18:02,275
To us, it's four
thousand year old art.
327
00:18:02,344 --> 00:18:04,758
To most people,
is not that.
328
00:18:04,827 --> 00:18:07,586
Is just "Why should I
change the color of my walls
329
00:18:07,655 --> 00:18:10,448
or rearrange my furniture?"
330
00:18:10,517 --> 00:18:13,965
Or, "What, I should I put
bowl of water by my window
331
00:18:14,103 --> 00:18:15,655
as symbol of good luck?
332
00:18:15,758 --> 00:18:18,310
This will change my life."
333
00:18:18,448 --> 00:18:24,586
Answer is yes, but they look
at you like you are crazy.
334
00:18:24,724 --> 00:18:25,965
Excuse me.
335
00:18:26,103 --> 00:18:28,275
Do you have anything blue?
336
00:18:28,344 --> 00:18:32,000
Because what I need right
now, I need something blue.
337
00:18:32,103 --> 00:18:33,931
Something blue?
338
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:38,586
Yes. Because every time
I come into this restaurant,
339
00:18:38,724 --> 00:18:40,275
I feel uncomfortable.
340
00:18:40,344 --> 00:18:42,517
You know why?
No.
341
00:18:42,620 --> 00:18:44,448
Because is too red
in here for me.
342
00:18:44,586 --> 00:18:48,379
Red is all wrong for
me; get me too excited.
343
00:18:48,448 --> 00:18:49,896
Blue.
344
00:18:49,965 --> 00:18:52,482
Blue calms me down.
345
00:18:52,586 --> 00:18:54,586
That is what I need.
346
00:18:54,724 --> 00:18:56,413
A counter force.
347
00:18:56,482 --> 00:18:58,758
A yin for my yang.
348
00:19:00,413 --> 00:19:03,862
It is funny
that Feng Shui is back.
349
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,586
You see?
That is problem.
350
00:19:06,689 --> 00:19:08,827
Now even Asians
giving me a hard time.
351
00:19:08,965 --> 00:19:12,827
Ho Fook, Mr. Luk is old friend!
352
00:19:12,965 --> 00:19:15,655
Is no trouble.
353
00:19:15,724 --> 00:19:18,482
I find something blue.
354
00:19:21,413 --> 00:19:23,655
Maybe you should get out
of Feng Shui business.
355
00:19:23,724 --> 00:19:24,965
Find nice girl.
356
00:19:25,034 --> 00:19:27,965
Settle down.
Have family.
357
00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:32,034
I want to find
nice girl, have family.
358
00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:34,344
But women.
359
00:19:34,413 --> 00:19:36,482
Is too complicated.
360
00:19:36,551 --> 00:19:40,068
Every night I am out
in bars, karaoke, looking.
361
00:19:40,172 --> 00:19:42,068
Is enough to drive
me back to Lydia.
362
00:19:42,172 --> 00:19:44,310
Must never
go back to Lydia.
363
00:19:44,379 --> 00:19:46,344
I won't, I won't.
364
00:19:46,413 --> 00:19:48,965
Besides,
she still in rehab.
365
00:19:50,620 --> 00:19:53,310
Mr. Lao.
366
00:19:53,379 --> 00:19:54,827
Thank you.
367
00:20:15,413 --> 00:20:19,068
...There.
Now I am calm.
368
00:20:19,206 --> 00:20:24,482
So... how much I charge you
for my Feng Shui consultation?
369
00:20:24,551 --> 00:20:27,482
You think is
funny, is a joke.
370
00:20:27,620 --> 00:20:29,068
But I tell you something.
371
00:20:29,172 --> 00:20:30,965
You been in business
here how long?
372
00:20:31,034 --> 00:20:32,655
Thirty-five years.
373
00:20:32,724 --> 00:20:35,689
Okay. Been good around
here thirty-five years.
374
00:20:35,827 --> 00:20:40,344
Life crazy, I know.
375
00:20:40,413 --> 00:20:42,827
Things change, you know,
things change a lot.
376
00:20:42,965 --> 00:20:45,413
My life crazy.
377
00:20:45,517 --> 00:20:47,862
Tomorrow, you
could be out of business.
378
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,655
Hardly think so.
379
00:20:49,793 --> 00:20:52,000
Why?
Why you say that?
380
00:20:52,068 --> 00:20:54,344
Look around you.
381
00:20:54,413 --> 00:20:57,724
Busy, busy, all the time busy.
382
00:20:57,827 --> 00:21:00,413
What?
You have secret?
383
00:21:00,551 --> 00:21:02,103
Maybe.
384
00:21:02,241 --> 00:21:04,551
Okay. Maybe
you have secret.
385
00:21:04,620 --> 00:21:06,620
But is not enough.
386
00:21:06,724 --> 00:21:08,896
Here. On the back
of my fortune.
387
00:21:08,965 --> 00:21:11,379
What does this say:
388
00:21:11,448 --> 00:21:15,896
"Are the happiest
dances not performed with
the shoe on the other foot?"
389
00:21:16,034 --> 00:21:17,413
You see?
390
00:21:17,551 --> 00:21:19,758
This is stupid
this fortune cookie business.
391
00:21:19,896 --> 00:21:22,724
Some guy getting minimum wage
writes this in a factory
392
00:21:22,793 --> 00:21:25,586
in Hong Kong somewhere
and supposed to believe it.
393
00:21:25,724 --> 00:21:28,655
But a four thousand year old
art that was once practiced
394
00:21:28,758 --> 00:21:32,758
in the royal palace in China,
tested on the whole population
395
00:21:32,896 --> 00:21:38,379
by the ancient sages,
that's bullshit?
396
00:21:38,448 --> 00:21:44,068
Life not
only crazy, is not fair.
397
00:21:44,137 --> 00:21:45,896
I tell you what.
398
00:21:46,034 --> 00:21:48,862
What I will do, just
for you, is I will bring
399
00:21:48,931 --> 00:21:51,586
good luck charm
in next time.
400
00:21:51,655 --> 00:21:53,482
Little decoration
that will make sure
401
00:21:53,586 --> 00:21:57,758
you stay in
business another 35 years.
402
00:21:57,896 --> 00:21:59,413
Okay?
403
00:21:59,551 --> 00:22:01,551
What can it hurt?
404
00:22:01,655 --> 00:22:04,931
...If it
pleases your mother, okay.
405
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:08,275
Believe me,
I know my business.
406
00:22:43,620 --> 00:22:44,965
[door opening]
407
00:22:50,620 --> 00:22:52,689
Oh. Sorry I'm late.
408
00:22:52,793 --> 00:22:54,482
Having lunch with my mother.
409
00:22:54,620 --> 00:22:56,655
Once a week
we do that, keep in touch.
410
00:22:56,793 --> 00:22:59,137
Tell her all my problems.
411
00:22:59,206 --> 00:23:01,068
Poor woman.
412
00:23:01,206 --> 00:23:03,034
Don't know
where my head is today.
413
00:23:03,172 --> 00:23:06,000
Okay, come with me...
414
00:23:13,379 --> 00:23:15,034
...am I in
the right office?
415
00:23:15,103 --> 00:23:16,758
Yes, yes.
416
00:23:16,862 --> 00:23:20,689
Uh...here it is.
417
00:23:20,758 --> 00:23:21,896
Julia Brock.
418
00:23:22,034 --> 00:23:23,551
That's you?
419
00:23:23,620 --> 00:23:25,896
Mrs. Brock?
One thirty, Thursday?
420
00:23:26,034 --> 00:23:27,689
Uh, yes.
421
00:23:31,827 --> 00:23:34,758
I'll explain my situation.
422
00:23:38,103 --> 00:23:42,344
My life is -
a disaster right now...
423
00:23:45,862 --> 00:23:47,896
And I heard your
luck can be changed
424
00:23:48,034 --> 00:23:51,206
if you move
furniture around.
425
00:23:51,344 --> 00:23:54,551
Feng Shui will fix
all of that for you.
426
00:23:54,620 --> 00:24:00,620
All about the proper
placement of objects in space.
427
00:24:00,724 --> 00:24:05,068
You haven't seen
the pamphlet have you?
428
00:24:05,137 --> 00:24:07,724
No.
429
00:24:07,793 --> 00:24:09,896
Oh, there it is.
430
00:24:13,793 --> 00:24:16,241
Is too crowded in here.
431
00:24:16,310 --> 00:24:18,655
Let's go into my bedroom.
432
00:24:18,758 --> 00:24:19,758
Bedroom?
433
00:24:19,896 --> 00:24:22,413
No sorry,
my boardroom.
434
00:24:34,931 --> 00:24:35,620
There.
435
00:24:35,758 --> 00:24:38,620
That's much
better, isn't it?
436
00:24:38,758 --> 00:24:40,793
Have a seat.
437
00:24:47,827 --> 00:24:49,724
Yeah, you
wanted to see me?
438
00:24:49,793 --> 00:24:51,137
Sit.
439
00:25:00,862 --> 00:25:02,862
What's that for?
440
00:25:02,931 --> 00:25:05,344
In the event you don't
take it like man.
441
00:25:05,482 --> 00:25:08,724
In the event I don't
take what like man?
442
00:25:08,827 --> 00:25:11,137
The fact
that you're fired.
443
00:25:16,379 --> 00:25:20,655
That's for you - in case
YOU don't take it like a man.
444
00:25:20,724 --> 00:25:23,241
In case I don't take
what like a man?
445
00:25:23,344 --> 00:25:24,793
The fact that I've
been using petty cash
446
00:25:24,862 --> 00:25:27,310
to make child
support payments.
447
00:25:50,965 --> 00:25:52,172
[loud fart]
448
00:25:54,793 --> 00:25:56,931
You know what, Ma?
449
00:25:57,034 --> 00:25:59,310
That's the first thing
you've said to me all week.
450
00:26:07,896 --> 00:26:09,448
So what's wrong?
451
00:26:09,586 --> 00:26:12,068
It's just this
fortune cookie.
452
00:26:12,206 --> 00:26:17,862
It says, "Is a blind man
truly reflected in the mirror?"
453
00:26:17,931 --> 00:26:20,068
What's that
supposed to mean?
454
00:26:20,137 --> 00:26:25,103
It probably mean
they need a new writer.
455
00:26:25,241 --> 00:26:26,965
What's with the monkey?
456
00:26:27,103 --> 00:26:30,379
Is a good luck charm from
a regular customer of mine.
457
00:26:30,448 --> 00:26:34,931
Yeah? Has it
brought any so far?
458
00:26:35,068 --> 00:26:40,310
Not unless
health inspector is lucky.
459
00:26:40,448 --> 00:26:45,206
Hey you
little cutie, next time I come
here I'll bring my daughter.
460
00:26:45,275 --> 00:26:47,103
What do you think of that?
461
00:27:00,379 --> 00:27:03,827
How am I ever gonna
get this kid to open up?
462
00:27:03,896 --> 00:27:06,827
Maybe you should set some sort
of precedent for expression.
463
00:27:06,965 --> 00:27:10,965
"Precedent for
expression"? Like what?
464
00:27:11,034 --> 00:27:14,172
I don't know. People who
are emotionally blocked,
465
00:27:14,310 --> 00:27:15,965
sometimes they put a
paintbrush in their hands,
466
00:27:16,103 --> 00:27:18,517
a stick of charcoal...
teach them how to paint,
467
00:27:18,655 --> 00:27:23,758
to draw... art, you know, as a
form of getting it all out.
468
00:27:23,827 --> 00:27:28,448
Getting it
all out... Yeah.
469
00:27:28,517 --> 00:27:32,000
Maybe that's a good idea.
470
00:27:34,137 --> 00:27:36,379
Take his little
creature right here.
471
00:27:36,482 --> 00:27:40,344
For years people did not think
that monkeys had much to say.
472
00:27:40,482 --> 00:27:43,000
But once they found an
instrument by which
473
00:27:43,068 --> 00:27:45,310
they could communicate they
found that they possessed
474
00:27:45,448 --> 00:27:50,034
and could convey extremely
sophisticated ideas.
475
00:27:50,137 --> 00:27:52,000
Isn't that right,
you little genius?
476
00:27:55,448 --> 00:27:57,034
My kid's thirteen, Andrew.
477
00:27:57,137 --> 00:27:59,344
I think he already
knows how to do that.
478
00:27:59,482 --> 00:28:01,655
Not with his foot mind you.
479
00:28:08,931 --> 00:28:12,068
Is about this good luck
charm you bring me.
480
00:28:12,206 --> 00:28:14,206
Is the good luck
rubbing off yet?
481
00:28:14,275 --> 00:28:17,413
If it rubs off
anymore, he go blind.
482
00:28:25,275 --> 00:28:28,241
Yeah we'll deal with that
a little later next week,
483
00:28:28,379 --> 00:28:32,000
Oh, I gotta go;
I'll talk to you next week.
484
00:28:32,068 --> 00:28:33,172
Marshall.
485
00:28:33,241 --> 00:28:35,103
Come in.
486
00:28:35,206 --> 00:28:38,827
Close the door.
487
00:28:38,896 --> 00:28:40,551
Yeah, what's up?
488
00:28:40,689 --> 00:28:44,551
Marshall, you have my
respect for salesmanship.
489
00:28:44,689 --> 00:28:47,344
Ohh, well, thank you very
much - especially seeing
490
00:28:47,413 --> 00:28:50,034
that I haven't
sold anything yet.
491
00:28:50,103 --> 00:28:51,551
Thank you I'm flattered
and well, needless to say,
492
00:28:51,620 --> 00:28:53,965
you have my respect
for management.
493
00:28:54,068 --> 00:28:57,586
No Marshall, my book
"Respect For Salesmanship",
by Anthony Higgins.
494
00:28:57,724 --> 00:29:01,068
You've got it.
I want it back.
495
00:29:01,137 --> 00:29:03,413
Right. The book.
496
00:29:03,482 --> 00:29:06,448
You know didn't really get a
chance to read it I only got
497
00:29:06,517 --> 00:29:09,000
as far as the back cover,
but I liked what I skimmed.
498
00:29:09,137 --> 00:29:13,275
Now then, Marshall, we've been
forced to make some changes.
499
00:29:13,344 --> 00:29:15,586
Mr. Warden?
500
00:29:15,655 --> 00:29:17,172
Mr. Warden?
501
00:29:17,275 --> 00:29:18,655
Kwang! I'm in
here all the time.
502
00:29:18,793 --> 00:29:21,482
How many times have I told you?
I can't stand formality.
503
00:29:21,620 --> 00:29:24,103
"Mr. Warden"!
Chuck, Chuck, call me Chuck.
504
00:29:24,172 --> 00:29:26,310
Yeah I know
Mr. Chuck, Mr. Chuck?
505
00:29:26,448 --> 00:29:27,344
There. Now that's
not so bad, is it?
506
00:29:27,448 --> 00:29:29,137
Now what the hell do
you want, I'm busy.
507
00:29:29,275 --> 00:29:34,241
I know, I know, but look
what we find in lost and found.
508
00:29:37,586 --> 00:29:42,103
I ask everybody
who might this belong to,
509
00:29:42,172 --> 00:29:44,310
but nobody know nothing.
510
00:29:44,448 --> 00:29:50,620
I know this might sound crazy,
but might this belong to you?
511
00:29:50,758 --> 00:29:52,448
A violin?
512
00:29:52,586 --> 00:29:54,344
That's some stretch, Kwang.
513
00:29:54,482 --> 00:29:58,551
Andrew, I ask you:
do I look like the kind of
guy who plays the violin?
514
00:29:58,620 --> 00:30:01,965
Frankly... no.
515
00:30:02,103 --> 00:30:03,896
Well you're wrong.
516
00:30:03,965 --> 00:30:06,034
Gimme that thing.
517
00:30:24,172 --> 00:30:25,517
Thank you very much.
518
00:30:25,620 --> 00:30:28,275
Refunds are available
at the box office.
519
00:30:28,413 --> 00:30:29,448
Not bad, huh?
520
00:30:29,517 --> 00:30:33,137
No.
Is yours after all?
521
00:30:33,275 --> 00:30:36,310
No. Used to play years ago.
522
00:30:36,448 --> 00:30:39,137
Every time I started to play,
my mother left the room.
523
00:30:39,206 --> 00:30:42,137
Even then she couldn't stand
anybody expressing themselves.
524
00:30:42,206 --> 00:30:45,275
How the hell she ever met up
with my father, I'll never know.
525
00:30:45,344 --> 00:30:47,448
Maybe you should
take it up again.
526
00:30:47,586 --> 00:30:51,896
Sounds like it might chase
all your 'problems' away.
527
00:30:51,965 --> 00:30:54,310
I tell you what,
I going to put it back
528
00:30:54,448 --> 00:30:57,448
where it
belongs for the time being.
529
00:30:57,517 --> 00:31:01,000
I'm going to continue
to ask everybody.
530
00:31:01,068 --> 00:31:05,655
If no one
claims it, is yours, okay?
531
00:31:05,793 --> 00:31:07,482
No thanks.
532
00:31:07,551 --> 00:31:10,620
I could never
hear myself play over the din
of conversation in my home.
533
00:31:25,689 --> 00:31:27,310
Hey son, where you going?
534
00:31:27,379 --> 00:31:28,344
...A friend.
535
00:31:28,413 --> 00:31:30,482
A friend? Hey.
536
00:31:30,551 --> 00:31:36,172
And what do you
at this friend's?
537
00:31:36,241 --> 00:31:38,620
You play ball?
538
00:31:38,689 --> 00:31:41,379
You chase girls,
539
00:31:41,517 --> 00:31:45,241
you listen to music
about killing cops, what?
540
00:31:45,344 --> 00:31:46,482
...Stuff.
541
00:31:46,551 --> 00:31:48,172
Stuff.
542
00:31:48,310 --> 00:31:51,965
Hey, speaking of "stuff",
543
00:31:52,034 --> 00:31:55,172
somebody offered me
something the other day.
544
00:31:55,241 --> 00:31:58,344
You want
to know what it is?
545
00:31:58,482 --> 00:32:00,517
...okay.
546
00:32:00,586 --> 00:32:02,793
A violin.
547
00:32:02,896 --> 00:32:04,517
I used to play
when I was a kid.
548
00:32:04,586 --> 00:32:06,620
It was fun.
549
00:32:06,758 --> 00:32:11,758
I figured a guy like you,
you know, bored all the time,
550
00:32:11,896 --> 00:32:14,793
maybe...I don't know, maybe
you'd like to give it a try.
551
00:32:14,896 --> 00:32:18,034
What do you say?
Should I pick it up?
552
00:32:18,103 --> 00:32:20,310
...I don't know.
553
00:32:20,413 --> 00:32:21,724
You don't know?
554
00:32:21,862 --> 00:32:25,206
...no. Can I go now?
555
00:32:25,275 --> 00:32:27,413
Yeah. Go, go.
556
00:32:33,827 --> 00:32:36,620
If I want conversation,
I'll find a monk.
557
00:32:40,137 --> 00:32:42,241
You know what
you need, Mr. Murphy?
558
00:32:42,310 --> 00:32:44,310
Wind chimes.
559
00:32:44,413 --> 00:32:47,034
Oh yes. And believe me,
Mr. Murphy,
560
00:32:47,103 --> 00:32:49,551
these wind chimes, they
have only been used once...
561
00:32:49,689 --> 00:32:51,413
[phone ringing]
562
00:32:51,551 --> 00:32:53,206
Excuse me.
563
00:32:55,896 --> 00:32:58,103
Lao Feng Shui consultant.
564
00:32:58,241 --> 00:33:02,655
This is Mr. Hung Luk, proprietor
of the House Of Luk restaurant.
565
00:33:02,724 --> 00:33:06,137
Oh yes.
Another satisfied customer.
566
00:33:06,206 --> 00:33:09,310
You know that
knick-knack you bring me?
567
00:33:09,448 --> 00:33:11,137
Of course. Yes.
568
00:33:11,275 --> 00:33:12,689
I bring him
special accessory too,
569
00:33:12,827 --> 00:33:14,482
make all the
difference in the world.
570
00:33:14,620 --> 00:33:16,310
Bring him much happiness.
571
00:33:16,379 --> 00:33:17,620
Know where he is right now?
572
00:33:17,758 --> 00:33:18,793
No.
573
00:33:18,931 --> 00:33:22,241
Is holding
my customers hostage.
574
00:33:22,310 --> 00:33:23,551
What?
575
00:33:23,655 --> 00:33:25,172
We had
small fire in the kitchen.
576
00:33:25,310 --> 00:33:27,172
He started jumping
up and down, running around.
577
00:33:27,310 --> 00:33:29,793
Next thing I know,
he break the leash.
578
00:33:29,931 --> 00:33:32,551
[nervous laughter]
579
00:33:32,655 --> 00:33:35,724
So he has brought
you much amusement then?
580
00:33:35,827 --> 00:33:39,344
Look. Come and
get your monkey right now
581
00:33:39,482 --> 00:33:42,137
or on
tonight's dinner special menu
582
00:33:42,206 --> 00:33:44,758
we going to have moo
goo guy monkey. You got that?
583
00:33:49,689 --> 00:33:53,172
So, about these wind chimes.
584
00:34:05,344 --> 00:34:06,586
Hey Marshall.
585
00:34:06,689 --> 00:34:09,517
Hi.
586
00:34:09,655 --> 00:34:11,586
Is everything okay?
587
00:34:11,689 --> 00:34:14,172
Uh yeah... uh...
588
00:34:14,241 --> 00:34:15,896
Our kid got
hit by the ball.
589
00:34:16,034 --> 00:34:17,586
What?
590
00:34:17,724 --> 00:34:19,689
It's O.K.,
she's O.K., are you O.K.?
591
00:34:19,758 --> 00:34:21,206
I'm O.K.
592
00:34:21,344 --> 00:34:25,413
I put some
of this on it.
593
00:34:25,517 --> 00:34:26,931
Anusol?
594
00:34:27,034 --> 00:34:28,862
It was all
I could find.
595
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,413
Poor kid, her nose is
spread like margarine.
596
00:34:31,551 --> 00:34:34,724
Two years away from dating
and she looks like WC Fields.
597
00:34:34,793 --> 00:34:38,448
Hopefully there's
some guy at her school
who looks like Mae West.
598
00:34:38,551 --> 00:34:39,758
And how
was your night?
599
00:34:39,896 --> 00:34:41,827
I noticed you left
your manual behind.
600
00:34:41,896 --> 00:34:43,344
I meant to ask you
who won the vote?
601
00:34:43,413 --> 00:34:45,172
Was it plague
or pestilence?
602
00:34:45,241 --> 00:34:47,344
I had
five bucks on plague.
603
00:34:47,413 --> 00:34:50,517
FYI, I didn't go to my
discussion group tonight.
604
00:34:50,586 --> 00:34:52,413
I saw Joe.
605
00:34:52,517 --> 00:34:53,862
Joe?
606
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:55,482
Joe Regan?
607
00:34:55,551 --> 00:34:57,275
And?
608
00:34:57,379 --> 00:34:59,241
He's a good musician.
609
00:34:59,344 --> 00:35:01,758
Yeah, and?
610
00:35:01,896 --> 00:35:04,517
And he's very good.
611
00:35:04,620 --> 00:35:08,517
Are we still talking
about music here or
did you skip a few tracks?
612
00:35:08,620 --> 00:35:10,517
I went to see him
play, we had a drink,
613
00:35:10,620 --> 00:35:12,517
I watched him play again,
we had another drink.
614
00:35:12,620 --> 00:35:14,413
Wow, two dates
in one night.
615
00:35:14,482 --> 00:35:16,275
Sounds serious.
616
00:35:16,413 --> 00:35:18,241
So what, are you
going to start to do,
617
00:35:18,310 --> 00:35:19,689
start laying out fresh guitar
strings for him every morning,
618
00:35:19,793 --> 00:35:21,689
just the way you used
to lay out my suits?
619
00:35:21,793 --> 00:35:23,931
It's a little early for that
kind of thing, Marshall.
620
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:27,413
I don't know, I think
I've known you long enough
621
00:35:27,482 --> 00:35:29,758
to tell when you're
really stuck on someone.
622
00:35:29,896 --> 00:35:32,931
Oh?
Do tell, Kreskin.
623
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:35,931
We've been talking for
a few minutes, right?
624
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:40,379
Have you been on my
case about money yet?
625
00:35:40,448 --> 00:35:42,034
Huh?
626
00:35:51,103 --> 00:35:52,620
Hold on, hold on.
627
00:35:52,758 --> 00:35:55,793
That's great, now move the
instrument to this shoulder.
628
00:35:55,862 --> 00:36:00,482
Switch hands with your
bow, hold on to your bow.
629
00:36:00,620 --> 00:36:06,586
You don't want to grasp it
you want to gently hold it.
630
00:36:06,689 --> 00:36:09,517
Now draw it across
that string there.
631
00:36:14,862 --> 00:36:15,896
Sounded great!
632
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:17,793
Try it again!
633
00:36:21,827 --> 00:36:23,517
Don't worry
about your grandmother.
634
00:36:23,655 --> 00:36:25,655
You're making beautiful,
beautiful music!
635
00:36:25,793 --> 00:36:27,379
Right across.
636
00:36:29,517 --> 00:36:31,896
It sounds beautiful.
637
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,034
Now try the other string.
638
00:36:34,172 --> 00:36:36,448
There was no sound.
639
00:36:36,517 --> 00:36:38,310
Nothing.
640
00:36:38,379 --> 00:36:42,551
I heard nothing, I saw nothing.
641
00:36:42,655 --> 00:36:44,965
Just her.
642
00:36:45,034 --> 00:36:47,344
It was her.
643
00:36:47,482 --> 00:36:51,482
Just as I had
always imagined it...
644
00:36:51,551 --> 00:36:54,344
...the cut of her hair...
645
00:36:54,482 --> 00:36:57,344
...the look of her eyes.
646
00:36:57,482 --> 00:37:01,379
I had walked
into the perfect room.
647
00:37:01,448 --> 00:37:04,413
Perfect for me.
648
00:37:04,482 --> 00:37:10,413
It had created
the ultimate vibration.
649
00:37:10,551 --> 00:37:11,620
And then...
650
00:37:39,103 --> 00:37:40,413
I don't know, Ma.
651
00:37:40,482 --> 00:37:42,000
Maybe is a curse at work.
652
00:37:42,103 --> 00:37:45,103
Maybe there are things at work
in life we don't know about.
653
00:37:45,172 --> 00:37:49,379
Is really going
to take something special
to change my luck.
654
00:37:49,517 --> 00:37:51,068
Buddha...
655
00:37:51,206 --> 00:37:56,413
Buddha, most people think
of him as a great thinker,
656
00:37:56,482 --> 00:38:00,103
a philosopher, a God.
657
00:38:00,241 --> 00:38:03,103
I don't consider
him a God.
658
00:38:03,172 --> 00:38:05,517
I think
he's a comedian.
659
00:38:05,620 --> 00:38:07,482
A comedian?
660
00:38:07,620 --> 00:38:11,758
You notice he always talks
in parables, in riddles,
661
00:38:11,827 --> 00:38:14,206
in fortune cookie things?
662
00:38:14,310 --> 00:38:17,965
It reminds me of a story,
about this drowning man.
663
00:38:18,103 --> 00:38:21,206
He's in the middle of
the ocean and another man
664
00:38:21,310 --> 00:38:25,137
comes by in a boat and he
says hop in, I will save you.
665
00:38:25,275 --> 00:38:27,137
No, says the gentleman,
gasping for his life.
666
00:38:27,275 --> 00:38:30,655
My God will save me.
667
00:38:30,793 --> 00:38:32,620
Away goes the boat.
668
00:38:32,689 --> 00:38:36,724
A little while later,
along comes a helicopter,
669
00:38:36,827 --> 00:38:41,689
my goodness the driver
cries, here, grab this rope.
670
00:38:41,827 --> 00:38:45,965
No, says the man, still
drowning, my God will save me.
671
00:38:46,034 --> 00:38:50,448
A little while later,
along comes a cruise ship.
672
00:38:50,517 --> 00:38:55,965
The captain says hey drowning
man take the life preserver,
673
00:38:56,034 --> 00:38:57,517
I will save you.
674
00:38:57,620 --> 00:38:58,965
No, says the man.
675
00:38:59,103 --> 00:39:01,034
I don't want
you to save me.
676
00:39:01,103 --> 00:39:04,034
My God will save me.
677
00:39:04,172 --> 00:39:06,034
The cruise ship leaves.
678
00:39:06,103 --> 00:39:08,517
A little while later,
the man is dead.
679
00:39:08,586 --> 00:39:10,000
The man gets to heaven.
680
00:39:10,068 --> 00:39:11,689
He is very, very angry.
681
00:39:11,758 --> 00:39:13,034
He demands to see God.
682
00:39:13,172 --> 00:39:15,896
"I want to see God!"
He's yelling and screaming.
683
00:39:15,965 --> 00:39:19,551
Pretty soon God comes and says
"Yes, may I help you?"
684
00:39:19,620 --> 00:39:23,758
"How could you let a nice
religious man like me drown
685
00:39:23,862 --> 00:39:25,896
and you don't
try to save me?"
686
00:39:26,034 --> 00:39:29,034
He says
"Ah! I did try to save you.
687
00:39:29,172 --> 00:39:32,689
I sent a boat for you,
I sent a helicopter,
688
00:39:32,758 --> 00:39:34,862
I sent a cruise ship..."
689
00:39:39,206 --> 00:39:40,896
You get it?
690
00:39:44,931 --> 00:39:47,517
Yeah,
it's about the guard dog...
691
00:39:47,586 --> 00:39:49,758
I know he sounded mean on the
phone but this is ridiculous.
692
00:39:53,551 --> 00:39:55,931
...I'll call ya back.
693
00:39:56,034 --> 00:39:58,000
Marshall,
come on in, close the door.
694
00:40:00,551 --> 00:40:02,241
...No.
695
00:40:02,379 --> 00:40:03,896
What do you mean, no?
696
00:40:04,034 --> 00:40:05,517
I've been through this
enough times that I know what
697
00:40:05,586 --> 00:40:07,586
it means when someone
asks you to close the door.
698
00:40:07,724 --> 00:40:11,517
If you don't mind, I'll spare
myself the indignity this time.
699
00:40:11,655 --> 00:40:13,551
Thanks again, Dick.
700
00:40:13,620 --> 00:40:16,034
We'll always
have the '97 Cavalier.
701
00:40:16,103 --> 00:40:17,655
Marshall, Marshall. Wait.
702
00:40:17,724 --> 00:40:18,896
You misinterpret.
703
00:40:19,034 --> 00:40:22,034
Sit down.
704
00:40:22,172 --> 00:40:25,034
Look, I'm a pretty
sharp guy, right?
705
00:40:25,172 --> 00:40:27,034
Know my business.
706
00:40:27,172 --> 00:40:28,551
I've been around.
707
00:40:28,620 --> 00:40:32,034
Dealer of the year
'96, '97, '99.
708
00:40:32,172 --> 00:40:34,655
'98 those bastards
bought that award.
709
00:40:34,724 --> 00:40:36,206
Anyway...
710
00:40:36,344 --> 00:40:39,034
Take a look at the
other guys on the floor,
711
00:40:39,172 --> 00:40:41,241
the ones who
close the deals.
712
00:40:41,379 --> 00:40:43,586
Ask yourself this, Marshall:
713
00:40:43,724 --> 00:40:48,034
what do those guys
have that you don't?
714
00:40:48,172 --> 00:40:53,000
They're right for
the product - I'm not?
715
00:40:59,689 --> 00:41:01,827
Nope. That's not it.
716
00:41:01,931 --> 00:41:04,000
I'll tell
you what it is.
717
00:41:04,103 --> 00:41:06,965
Hair.
718
00:41:07,103 --> 00:41:08,586
Hair?
719
00:41:08,655 --> 00:41:10,172
Hair.
720
00:41:10,275 --> 00:41:12,586
You don't think
I'm a smart guy?
721
00:41:12,724 --> 00:41:14,137
Here.
Get yourself some hair.
722
00:41:14,275 --> 00:41:15,758
You'll see what
it does for you.
723
00:41:15,896 --> 00:41:17,103
Dick, wait a second...
724
00:41:17,172 --> 00:41:19,758
Don't worry.
It's gonna work.
725
00:41:19,827 --> 00:41:24,931
If I'm wrong - but I won't be
- we'll use it for a shammy.
726
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:27,793
O.K. Kujo, out.
727
00:41:53,241 --> 00:41:55,758
[loud snoring]
728
00:41:57,689 --> 00:42:00,896
Jesus, kid, you make
more noise when you're asleep
729
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:04,689
than you do when you're awake.
730
00:42:04,758 --> 00:42:09,034
Listen, dad's going
away for a while on business.
731
00:42:09,172 --> 00:42:12,655
While I'm away, do me a favor.
732
00:42:12,724 --> 00:42:15,379
Practice the violin.
733
00:42:15,482 --> 00:42:16,965
Not for you.
734
00:42:17,034 --> 00:42:19,827
I know it's probably boring.
735
00:42:19,965 --> 00:42:21,827
But for me.
736
00:42:24,724 --> 00:42:27,275
Rest those vocal chords.
737
00:42:55,034 --> 00:42:59,862
Hello, yes, I am
from local Asian newspaper,
738
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:05,103
distributed throughout Chinatown
and we are covering the parade
739
00:43:05,241 --> 00:43:09,310
for the gay and lesbian
Chinese community...
740
00:43:09,413 --> 00:43:13,068
we need some
additional information...
741
00:43:13,137 --> 00:43:17,724
like what is name of woman
who was sitting in a red car,
742
00:43:17,793 --> 00:43:22,103
underneath
a big umbrella waving...
743
00:43:22,241 --> 00:43:30,241
yes, a big colorful umbrella
that said "Lesbian Pride".
744
00:43:30,379 --> 00:43:32,172
Francine Lowe...
745
00:43:36,379 --> 00:43:39,068
are you sure?
746
00:43:39,137 --> 00:43:41,758
oh, okay,
thank you very much...
747
00:43:41,896 --> 00:43:43,310
Uh.. in the next issue...
748
00:43:43,413 --> 00:43:45,068
When is it coming out?
749
00:43:45,137 --> 00:43:47,379
Uh, goodbye!
750
00:44:01,137 --> 00:44:02,103
Hello?
751
00:44:02,172 --> 00:44:03,448
Hello, is this Miss Lowe?
752
00:44:03,586 --> 00:44:04,448
Yes.
753
00:44:04,586 --> 00:44:06,448
My name is Ho Fook Lao,
754
00:44:06,517 --> 00:44:08,448
I am calling
to say congratulations -
755
00:44:08,517 --> 00:44:12,310
you have just one a free
one hour Feng Shui consultation.
756
00:45:01,241 --> 00:45:04,172
So, what
do you think Mr. Magnet?
757
00:45:04,241 --> 00:45:05,241
What?
758
00:45:05,379 --> 00:45:08,655
Isn't that you?
Chick Magnet?
759
00:45:18,172 --> 00:45:19,862
What'd I tell ya?
760
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:21,517
Looking good!
761
00:45:51,206 --> 00:45:54,172
[violin playing]
762
00:48:22,724 --> 00:48:24,793
Let's review the deal.
763
00:48:24,896 --> 00:48:27,620
Just to
make sure I have this right.
764
00:48:27,758 --> 00:48:31,068
I let you have
this for half my usual price
765
00:48:31,206 --> 00:48:32,793
and you save me what again?
766
00:48:32,931 --> 00:48:35,413
I eat the cost of the
editing and the soundtrack.
767
00:48:35,551 --> 00:48:38,137
The shooting, the script,
I have to contract that out.
768
00:48:38,241 --> 00:48:41,137
I don't own bodies, I own gear.
769
00:48:41,241 --> 00:48:43,448
Okay, but why should
there have to be script?
770
00:48:43,586 --> 00:48:46,586
Why not just me on camera,
talking about Feng Shui?
771
00:48:46,724 --> 00:48:49,586
Because a promotional video
has to be more than that.
772
00:48:49,655 --> 00:48:51,758
Look, I know you're
trying to turn a buck here,
773
00:48:51,827 --> 00:48:54,275
but if you really want
to save your business,
774
00:48:54,413 --> 00:48:56,586
you gotta go after a higher
class of clients, right?
775
00:48:56,724 --> 00:48:58,310
Right. Yes.
776
00:48:58,413 --> 00:49:01,689
You bring me luck
by rearranging my office;
777
00:49:01,827 --> 00:49:04,482
I'll save you half the cost
of your promotional video.
778
00:49:04,620 --> 00:49:06,206
Okay, okay.
779
00:49:06,310 --> 00:49:10,275
As long as we understand,
let's begin the consultation.
780
00:49:19,206 --> 00:49:20,379
Now these bars.
781
00:49:20,482 --> 00:49:23,172
What are these
bars doing here?
782
00:49:23,310 --> 00:49:25,310
Protecting my
shop, what else.
783
00:49:25,448 --> 00:49:27,620
Okay, bars like this.
784
00:49:27,758 --> 00:49:29,482
They are wrong for you.
785
00:49:29,551 --> 00:49:31,793
Bars are okay for
vulnerable people,
786
00:49:31,931 --> 00:49:34,172
for say,
a small tiny man.
787
00:49:34,310 --> 00:49:37,448
But you,
you are big loud man.
788
00:49:37,517 --> 00:49:39,137
Look at you.
789
00:49:39,206 --> 00:49:40,724
You don't need this.
790
00:49:40,827 --> 00:49:44,310
This is for mouse, the kind of
man who work at the library.
791
00:49:44,379 --> 00:49:47,137
You need to
take the bars off.
792
00:49:47,275 --> 00:49:49,517
I'm not taking
the bars off.
793
00:49:49,655 --> 00:49:54,310
You must. It tells the world
look at me, I am invincible.
794
00:49:54,448 --> 00:49:56,379
I am not afraid
of anything.
795
00:49:56,482 --> 00:50:00,137
When clients walk
in here you know what
they are going to say?
796
00:50:00,206 --> 00:50:02,793
They are going to
feel that off of you,
797
00:50:02,931 --> 00:50:05,310
they are going to
see that and feel it
798
00:50:05,448 --> 00:50:07,724
off of the room
when you are in it.
799
00:50:07,827 --> 00:50:11,172
They will sign on the dotted
line right away, I assure you.
800
00:50:11,310 --> 00:50:12,793
Right away.
801
00:50:12,931 --> 00:50:14,793
I don't know
about this...
802
00:50:14,862 --> 00:50:17,137
Is okay.
We'll hang wind chimes.
803
00:50:17,206 --> 00:50:19,241
Will ward off everything.
804
00:50:30,620 --> 00:50:33,655
...Marshall?
805
00:50:33,724 --> 00:50:35,896
Marshal,
is that you under there?
806
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:38,448
Poor Ponce De Leon.
The airmiles he could have saved
807
00:50:38,517 --> 00:50:41,103
had he only
bought one of these babies.
808
00:50:41,172 --> 00:50:46,310
Come to think of it,
I always wondered what happened
809
00:50:46,379 --> 00:50:48,448
to the Muppets when
they went off the air...
810
00:50:48,517 --> 00:50:50,482
Ooh insults.
811
00:50:50,620 --> 00:50:53,655
Stupid thing to say to a
man holding a big cheque.
812
00:50:53,793 --> 00:50:55,620
What big cheque?
813
00:50:55,758 --> 00:50:59,379
This one.
814
00:50:59,482 --> 00:51:02,344
Oh my God, Marshall.
815
00:51:02,413 --> 00:51:05,413
What do you think
of the hairpiece now?
816
00:51:05,551 --> 00:51:09,241
Oh my!
Aren't you Mel Gibson?
817
00:51:09,379 --> 00:51:11,206
How much was
that for again?
818
00:51:11,344 --> 00:51:13,517
No, wait,
Kevin Costner.
819
00:51:13,655 --> 00:51:14,931
And how many cents?
820
00:51:15,034 --> 00:51:17,275
I've got it!
821
00:51:17,379 --> 00:51:18,482
George Clooney!
822
00:51:18,551 --> 00:51:19,758
That's better.
823
00:51:19,862 --> 00:51:21,896
Marshall...
this is fantastic.
824
00:51:22,034 --> 00:51:24,448
Have you finally
stuck somewhere?
825
00:51:24,551 --> 00:51:27,344
Stuck like
this rug on my head.
826
00:51:27,413 --> 00:51:28,862
Dick Hope Automotive.
827
00:51:28,931 --> 00:51:31,517
Cars?
And you're closing?
828
00:51:31,655 --> 00:51:32,862
Like crazy.
829
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:35,724
It started when I saw
myself with this thing on.
830
00:51:35,862 --> 00:51:37,896
It's like a fortune
cookie I read recently.
831
00:51:38,034 --> 00:51:42,206
It said: "Is a blind man
truly reflected in the mirror?"
832
00:51:42,344 --> 00:51:44,172
Think about that, huh?
833
00:51:44,241 --> 00:51:47,172
Sure, sure...
834
00:51:47,241 --> 00:51:50,206
that's great.
835
00:51:50,275 --> 00:51:53,206
Now Joe and I can
go to Cuba together.
836
00:51:53,275 --> 00:51:54,655
You and Joe? Cuba?
837
00:51:54,724 --> 00:51:56,448
Yeah.
838
00:51:56,551 --> 00:51:58,448
Think you can handle
Kathleen for a week?
839
00:51:58,551 --> 00:52:00,724
You'd trust her
with me for a week?
840
00:52:00,793 --> 00:52:03,275
Yeah I'd love to.
841
00:52:03,344 --> 00:52:04,620
Cuba, huh? Wow!
Sounds pretty romantic.
842
00:52:04,689 --> 00:52:07,344
Sand, surf,
power outages...
843
00:52:07,448 --> 00:52:08,931
you know what this
sounds like to me?
844
00:52:09,068 --> 00:52:12,448
This sounds like the
makings of a proposal.
845
00:52:12,586 --> 00:52:14,000
A proposal?
Oh Marshall!
846
00:52:14,137 --> 00:52:15,827
I'm serious. Mark my words:
you're going to go to Cuba
847
00:52:15,965 --> 00:52:19,655
and he's going to put
a ring on your finger.
848
00:52:19,793 --> 00:52:21,827
Well, if you can
turn his life around,
849
00:52:21,931 --> 00:52:24,655
I guess
anything's possible.
850
00:52:24,793 --> 00:52:26,655
Hey, have you still
got any of that Anusol left?
851
00:52:26,793 --> 00:52:29,931
I've got
this horseshoe up my ass and
it's really starting to itch.
852
00:52:32,310 --> 00:52:33,931
Hey, you locked the door.
853
00:52:55,068 --> 00:52:58,068
[violin playing]
854
00:55:15,310 --> 00:55:16,793
And then she held me.
855
00:55:16,931 --> 00:55:19,620
She held me for Chrissakes!
856
00:55:19,689 --> 00:55:21,931
That woman never
gave me a hug in my life.
857
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:23,862
Not even at Christmas.
858
00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:26,793
Right there in the
kid's bedroom, over his bed.
859
00:55:26,931 --> 00:55:29,827
Great big tears,
all over my shirt.
860
00:55:29,965 --> 00:55:31,862
Next time I see her,
she's rubbing stain stick
861
00:55:31,965 --> 00:55:34,586
all over it
trying to get the tears off.
862
00:55:34,655 --> 00:55:37,586
It was amazing, Andrew.
863
00:55:37,655 --> 00:55:40,862
What are you
going to do now?
864
00:55:40,965 --> 00:55:42,448
What am I
going to do now?
865
00:55:42,517 --> 00:55:44,137
What else? Practice!
866
00:56:06,620 --> 00:56:09,758
Is strange, your mother
is never late to meet you.
867
00:56:09,862 --> 00:56:11,517
My mother?
868
00:56:11,586 --> 00:56:13,517
No.
869
00:56:13,586 --> 00:56:15,758
Is not my mother today.
870
00:56:15,862 --> 00:56:18,896
Is very special girl.
871
00:56:19,034 --> 00:56:21,655
Really?
872
00:56:21,724 --> 00:56:25,206
Yes. The girl.
873
00:56:25,344 --> 00:56:27,206
The girl?
874
00:56:27,344 --> 00:56:29,206
How do you know?
875
00:56:31,689 --> 00:56:32,758
The girl.
876
00:56:32,862 --> 00:56:34,068
Mr. Luk...
Yes.
877
00:56:34,206 --> 00:56:36,586
Please. A drink.
878
00:56:36,689 --> 00:56:37,689
A drink.
879
00:56:37,827 --> 00:56:39,517
Something red.
880
00:56:39,586 --> 00:56:43,000
Something red... to help
you build the fire, I know.
881
00:56:47,689 --> 00:56:49,241
You're Ho Fook Lao?
882
00:56:49,344 --> 00:56:50,689
Huh?
883
00:56:50,758 --> 00:56:53,862
Yes. Yes. I am.
884
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:56,689
For minute there,
I forget my name.
885
00:56:56,758 --> 00:56:59,206
It is because you are in blue.
886
00:56:59,275 --> 00:57:01,758
Blue has an effect on me.
887
00:57:01,896 --> 00:57:03,000
I can go home and change.
888
00:57:03,103 --> 00:57:05,103
No. Please. Sit down.
889
00:57:05,241 --> 00:57:07,206
I order you a drink.
890
00:57:10,896 --> 00:57:15,310
Now,
how does this work?
891
00:57:15,448 --> 00:57:20,827
Feng Shui, is a
very ancient practice.
892
00:57:20,931 --> 00:57:23,689
They analyzed
the entire population.
893
00:57:23,793 --> 00:57:29,103
Came up with all kinds of
different personality types.
894
00:57:29,241 --> 00:57:32,689
And by finding out
which type you are,
895
00:57:32,793 --> 00:57:35,931
I can help you solve
all of your problems.
896
00:57:36,068 --> 00:57:40,655
I can bring you ease,
bring you happiness,
897
00:57:40,758 --> 00:57:43,827
I can bring you... love.
898
00:57:43,931 --> 00:57:45,103
I'd like that.
899
00:57:45,241 --> 00:57:47,689
You would? Me too.
900
00:57:47,793 --> 00:57:53,586
Uh I mean, I mean already,
I can tell a lot about you.
901
00:57:53,655 --> 00:57:54,896
You can?
902
00:57:54,965 --> 00:57:56,620
Yes.
903
00:57:56,689 --> 00:57:59,827
Firstly, I can see
that you are water.
904
00:57:59,931 --> 00:58:01,655
Water?
905
00:58:01,793 --> 00:58:04,344
It is your
love of blue.
906
00:58:04,482 --> 00:58:08,827
You are water, Francine
You are the ocean.
907
00:58:08,965 --> 00:58:10,620
That's a
good thing, right?
908
00:58:10,689 --> 00:58:13,172
Oh yes.
909
00:58:13,241 --> 00:58:17,344
Oh no.
910
00:58:17,413 --> 00:58:21,344
From Oh yes,
to Oh no, just like that.
911
00:58:21,413 --> 00:58:27,724
Yes. You see, the sea,
it is not always calm is it?
912
00:58:27,862 --> 00:58:33,862
Sometimes, there is a storm,
there are things stirring.
913
00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:37,379
Let me ask you Francine,
are you currently
914
00:58:37,517 --> 00:58:40,827
in a relationship
with anyone?
915
00:58:40,896 --> 00:58:45,103
That's a good question.
916
00:58:45,206 --> 00:58:49,034
The same one
I ask myself every time my
partner and I have a fight.
917
00:58:49,172 --> 00:58:50,827
There! You see?
918
00:58:50,896 --> 00:58:53,724
Feng Shui is a four thousand
year old scientific study.
919
00:58:53,827 --> 00:58:55,068
It does not lie.
920
00:58:55,172 --> 00:58:58,241
It knows that this
relationship is wrong for you.
921
00:58:58,344 --> 00:59:03,413
Is literally "too stormy."
922
00:59:03,482 --> 00:59:06,758
"Too stormy",
more like on the rocks.
923
00:59:06,896 --> 00:59:10,103
You and your partner,
you both need something.
924
00:59:10,241 --> 00:59:13,275
And I know
just what it is.
925
00:59:13,379 --> 00:59:15,103
You do?
926
00:59:15,241 --> 00:59:19,103
What you need,
Francine... is a man.
927
01:00:22,965 --> 01:00:24,758
Whatsa matter, kid?
928
01:00:28,275 --> 01:00:31,344
We used your room.
That's why you're mad at us.
929
01:00:31,413 --> 01:00:33,103
I'm sorry.
930
01:00:33,241 --> 01:00:35,068
...No.
931
01:00:35,206 --> 01:00:36,931
No?
932
01:00:37,068 --> 01:00:38,931
...That's not it.
933
01:00:39,068 --> 01:00:41,034
What, that's not
why you're mad at us?
934
01:00:41,103 --> 01:00:43,965
No. ...It's mine.
935
01:00:44,068 --> 01:00:46,862
The room? I know.
936
01:00:46,931 --> 01:00:49,379
Not the room...
The violin.
937
01:00:49,448 --> 01:00:51,758
The viol-
938
01:00:51,896 --> 01:00:55,310
the one your
grandmother was playing?
939
01:00:55,413 --> 01:00:57,862
What do you care?
You never practiced anyway.
940
01:00:57,931 --> 01:01:00,931
Doesn't matter.
It's mine.
941
01:01:01,000 --> 01:01:06,758
Okay, okay...
it's yours.
942
01:01:06,827 --> 01:01:10,344
I'll get another one.
943
01:01:12,310 --> 01:01:14,000
I like the hair, Marshall.
944
01:01:14,137 --> 01:01:15,206
Yeah, me too.
945
01:01:15,310 --> 01:01:18,137
I was a little
apprehensive at first.
946
01:01:18,206 --> 01:01:21,344
I had rug just like
it in the seventies.
947
01:01:21,482 --> 01:01:23,310
For the first two weeks
I kept reminding myself
948
01:01:23,379 --> 01:01:27,310
not to drop uppers
in it, you never find them.
949
01:01:27,448 --> 01:01:29,172
Now though, can't complain.
950
01:01:29,310 --> 01:01:32,310
This hair's sold more
cars than General Motors.
951
01:01:32,448 --> 01:01:34,103
It's cars this week, is it?
952
01:01:34,172 --> 01:01:36,275
Tell me, is there
anything you haven't sold?
953
01:01:36,344 --> 01:01:39,275
Yes - Melinda.
954
01:01:39,344 --> 01:01:41,448
Or have I?
955
01:01:41,586 --> 01:01:43,137
I like her a lot.
956
01:01:43,206 --> 01:01:44,965
"Like"?
957
01:01:45,103 --> 01:01:48,931
"Like, love";
I'm not picky.
958
01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:50,931
Should be very romantic,
just the three of you:
959
01:01:51,000 --> 01:01:53,310
you, her, Castro.
960
01:01:53,448 --> 01:01:55,793
Oh. Cuba. Right.
961
01:01:55,931 --> 01:01:58,034
Give me a ring
before you go.
962
01:01:58,137 --> 01:02:01,931
No. On second, thought,
963
01:02:02,034 --> 01:02:05,413
I'll give YOU one.
964
01:02:09,206 --> 01:02:11,172
...I thought it
was MY job to close.
965
01:02:11,241 --> 01:02:14,586
I'm qualified now.
966
01:02:14,724 --> 01:02:16,862
You know there is
something new about you,
967
01:02:16,931 --> 01:02:18,862
Marshall and it's
not just the hair.
968
01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:21,586
There's an air about
you, now, a confidence,
969
01:02:21,689 --> 01:02:25,000
a certain...
what's the word...
970
01:02:25,068 --> 01:02:27,413
dignity.
971
01:02:27,517 --> 01:02:30,206
Dignity, huh?
972
01:02:30,344 --> 01:02:32,000
I like that.
973
01:02:35,689 --> 01:02:37,896
Oh. Hello.
974
01:02:38,034 --> 01:02:40,344
You look wonderful.
975
01:02:40,413 --> 01:02:43,827
That bathrobe is
just right for you.
976
01:02:43,896 --> 01:02:45,344
You're early.
977
01:02:45,413 --> 01:02:46,551
I told you
on the phone.
978
01:02:46,689 --> 01:02:48,931
I can only
give you an hour.
979
01:02:49,034 --> 01:02:52,206
An hour,
I'll have to work quickly then.
980
01:02:52,344 --> 01:02:56,241
Your roommate,
she is not back is she?
981
01:02:56,344 --> 01:02:58,586
No.
982
01:03:01,448 --> 01:03:04,620
Well there is lot of
work to be done here.
983
01:03:04,689 --> 01:03:08,068
Francine today is
your lucky day,
984
01:03:08,137 --> 01:03:10,137
I am at the peak
of powers right now.
985
01:03:10,275 --> 01:03:11,586
What I can do
to you, Francine,
986
01:03:11,724 --> 01:03:14,172
you would
not believe it.
987
01:03:14,275 --> 01:03:17,068
Okay. So...
988
01:03:17,137 --> 01:03:18,620
where do we start?
989
01:03:18,758 --> 01:03:21,655
Where do we start?
990
01:03:21,793 --> 01:03:25,310
I think we should
start... in the bedroom.
991
01:03:42,586 --> 01:03:46,758
No offence Francine, but I
hope the rent is low here.
992
01:03:50,000 --> 01:03:55,413
Oh, Francine, this is all
wrong for you, Francine.
993
01:03:55,482 --> 01:03:56,931
It is?
994
01:03:57,068 --> 01:03:58,448
Absolutely.
995
01:03:58,586 --> 01:04:02,965
You are in desperate
need of help.
996
01:04:03,034 --> 01:04:06,482
This person you are
having problems with.
997
01:04:06,620 --> 01:04:09,206
This is her?
998
01:04:09,310 --> 01:04:12,000
Yes.
999
01:04:12,068 --> 01:04:15,551
Look!
She is everywhere,
1000
01:04:15,689 --> 01:04:22,000
your problem is
right here all the time,
1001
01:04:22,068 --> 01:04:26,689
in your face, worse
still, in the bedroom.
1002
01:04:26,758 --> 01:04:30,586
The place where you
should be the most relaxed.
1003
01:04:30,689 --> 01:04:34,517
This is not a place
for all your problems.
1004
01:04:34,655 --> 01:04:41,724
This is the place
where you must surrender.
1005
01:04:46,586 --> 01:04:50,172
Okay.
This lighting, Francine.
1006
01:04:50,241 --> 01:04:53,137
Is too harsh.
1007
01:04:53,206 --> 01:04:55,689
Look at you.
1008
01:04:55,827 --> 01:05:00,689
Do you know what
strikes me about you?
1009
01:05:00,827 --> 01:05:05,586
Your eyes,
the texture of your skin,
1010
01:05:05,724 --> 01:05:09,103
the cut of your hair.
1011
01:05:09,241 --> 01:05:13,034
Where have
you been all my life?
1012
01:05:13,103 --> 01:05:17,724
That is what
the mirror is asking.
1013
01:05:17,793 --> 01:05:24,551
Turn down those lights,
it says, make it soft in here...
1014
01:05:24,620 --> 01:05:27,862
as soft
as your beautiful hands.
1015
01:05:33,551 --> 01:05:35,206
Ok then.
1016
01:05:40,724 --> 01:05:41,793
What's that?
1017
01:05:41,896 --> 01:05:45,068
A Feng Shui compass,
very important
1018
01:05:45,137 --> 01:05:50,517
for the proper arrangement
with the forces of the stars.
1019
01:05:50,586 --> 01:05:54,275
There...
Now go lie down.
1020
01:05:54,379 --> 01:05:55,586
Lie down?
1021
01:05:55,724 --> 01:05:59,413
Yes, to test it out,
to see how it feels.
1022
01:05:59,551 --> 01:06:01,137
Trust me.
1023
01:06:01,275 --> 01:06:02,793
...okay.
1024
01:06:12,655 --> 01:06:16,310
No, that way,
you have to face north.
1025
01:06:16,448 --> 01:06:18,137
North, why?
1026
01:06:18,206 --> 01:06:24,448
Why? Because
north will bring a breath
of fresh air into your life.
1027
01:06:28,517 --> 01:06:31,103
Now let go.
1028
01:06:31,172 --> 01:06:34,551
Make yourself vulnerable.
1029
01:06:34,655 --> 01:06:39,655
Make yourself very,
very vulnerable.
1030
01:06:45,379 --> 01:06:47,379
[loud music on radio]
1031
01:06:47,482 --> 01:06:49,758
[station changed
to new age music]
1032
01:06:54,517 --> 01:06:58,517
Let it open you.
1033
01:06:58,620 --> 01:07:03,724
Let it open you...
1034
01:07:03,862 --> 01:07:10,241
Let it open you to new
and interesting sensations.
1035
01:07:10,379 --> 01:07:13,586
Oh fuck!
What are you doing?
1036
01:07:13,689 --> 01:07:15,551
Francine, please.
1037
01:07:15,689 --> 01:07:16,689
What do you think?
1038
01:07:16,827 --> 01:07:19,206
Do you think
I am unethical?
1039
01:07:19,275 --> 01:07:22,551
This is a
four thousand year old art.
1040
01:07:38,344 --> 01:07:40,000
[laughter]
1041
01:07:58,413 --> 01:08:00,241
Jesus Christ.
1042
01:08:00,379 --> 01:08:02,793
You know,
I've been everywhere,
1043
01:08:02,931 --> 01:08:06,000
I've seen everything...I've
never see nothing like this.
1044
01:08:06,103 --> 01:08:07,482
Man, you are hot.
1045
01:08:07,586 --> 01:08:08,931
You're smokin'.
1046
01:08:09,068 --> 01:08:13,275
By the way, what is it
exactly you're smokin'?
1047
01:08:13,344 --> 01:08:16,620
Sounds like it's
time I tried some.
1048
01:08:16,758 --> 01:08:19,034
Look at these figures!
1049
01:08:19,137 --> 01:08:21,793
It all happened
when I came across a
quote in a fortune cookie:
1050
01:08:21,931 --> 01:08:27,482
"Is A Blind Man Truly
Reflected In The Mirror?"
1051
01:08:27,586 --> 01:08:30,793
Sure... sure...
1052
01:08:30,931 --> 01:08:34,758
I got just the thing for all
of those sales orders you got:
1053
01:08:34,896 --> 01:08:36,724
a new paperweight.
1054
01:08:36,793 --> 01:08:39,793
Employee of the month? Me?
1055
01:08:39,862 --> 01:08:42,758
You know how
many times I've caught my
refection in one of these,
1056
01:08:42,827 --> 01:08:47,965
how sad I looked,
how pathetic I looked?
1057
01:08:48,103 --> 01:08:50,310
You look pretty
good to me.
1058
01:08:50,448 --> 01:08:53,310
You keep this up
you'll have my job.
1059
01:08:56,793 --> 01:09:00,517
Marshall.
I got proposition for ya...
1060
01:09:00,620 --> 01:09:03,137
as the Bishop
said to the choirboy.
1061
01:09:06,862 --> 01:09:10,655
Next week, we're planning a
series of live commercials.
1062
01:09:10,724 --> 01:09:11,896
Channel 11.
1063
01:09:12,000 --> 01:09:14,517
They're showing
"Forrest Gump."
1064
01:09:14,655 --> 01:09:19,310
You being on a
hot streak like this -
1065
01:09:19,379 --> 01:09:21,551
I mean, really,
it should be me;
1066
01:09:21,655 --> 01:09:23,310
I'm the man, Dick Hope.
1067
01:09:23,379 --> 01:09:24,689
I mean my name's
on the building,
1068
01:09:24,758 --> 01:09:27,689
even in the slogan "Go somewhere
else and you have no hope,
1069
01:09:27,827 --> 01:09:32,137
but come here
and you get dick"
1070
01:09:33,655 --> 01:09:35,517
- but why mess with success?
1071
01:09:35,655 --> 01:09:38,689
With you on the air,
we'll have so many customers,
1072
01:09:38,758 --> 01:09:42,482
there won't be room
on the lot for any of the cars.
1073
01:09:42,551 --> 01:09:44,655
What do you say, bud?
1074
01:09:44,793 --> 01:09:46,655
Will you do the spots?
1075
01:09:59,000 --> 01:10:02,586
And that was Crystal Day
with here own personal version
1076
01:10:02,689 --> 01:10:05,482
of the theme song from Shaft.
1077
01:10:05,551 --> 01:10:09,689
Okay, so I tease her,
but hey she's like a drug.
1078
01:10:09,827 --> 01:10:13,379
Always getting
passed around at parties.
1079
01:10:13,517 --> 01:10:17,724
Speaking of parties, let's
bring up Mr. Happy himself,
1080
01:10:17,862 --> 01:10:21,068
that's right,
our friend, our next singer,
1081
01:10:21,172 --> 01:10:25,655
the original Tienamin
Square, Mr. Ho Fook Lao.
1082
01:10:25,724 --> 01:10:27,724
Booooo...
1083
01:10:27,827 --> 01:10:29,862
Hey shut up ya
losers, be nice.
1084
01:10:30,000 --> 01:10:32,862
Hey listen, buddy, maybe you
should lay off the ballads.
1085
01:10:33,000 --> 01:10:35,000
You really bring
the room down.
1086
01:10:35,068 --> 01:10:38,000
No, no. Will be happy
music this time. Really.
1087
01:10:38,068 --> 01:10:40,068
All right,
that's great, let's go with.
1088
01:10:40,172 --> 01:10:43,655
The Tony Bennett
of Beijing, Mr. Ho Fook Loa.
1089
01:10:52,689 --> 01:10:54,068
♪ I've got
the world at my feet, ♪
1090
01:10:54,172 --> 01:10:56,689
♪ I've got
the whole nine yards, ♪
1091
01:10:56,758 --> 01:11:00,344
♪ you can't compete
I'm holding all the cards. ♪
1092
01:11:00,482 --> 01:11:03,068
♪ You watched the
Romans and the Ottomans fall ♪
1093
01:11:03,137 --> 01:11:06,206
♪ but not
the man whose got it all. ♪
1094
01:11:10,482 --> 01:11:13,758
♪ I'm sittin' on top
of this ball of glue, ♪
1095
01:11:13,827 --> 01:11:17,965
♪ I've got my cake
and I'm eating it too. ♪
1096
01:11:18,068 --> 01:11:20,793
♪ And if I jump for joy
I clear the great wall ♪
1097
01:11:20,896 --> 01:11:24,931
♪ 'cuz I'm
a man whose got it all. ♪
1098
01:11:26,068 --> 01:11:28,413
I'm not finished yet.
1099
01:11:28,482 --> 01:11:31,103
I'm a man
whose got it all.
1100
01:11:31,241 --> 01:11:32,896
Well you don't
have the microphone,
1101
01:11:32,965 --> 01:11:35,379
we've got a lot of people
to get up here tonight.
1102
01:11:35,448 --> 01:11:38,000
Thanks, maybe next
week, sober up first.
1103
01:11:41,965 --> 01:11:42,965
Okay. Hold on...
1104
01:11:43,068 --> 01:11:44,896
A little powder.
1105
01:11:44,965 --> 01:11:46,068
You nervous?
1106
01:11:46,206 --> 01:11:48,931
Are you kidding?
Cool as a cucumber.
1107
01:11:49,068 --> 01:11:50,620
Okay. Stand by.
1108
01:11:50,724 --> 01:11:52,103
Wait for my cue.
1109
01:11:52,241 --> 01:11:54,413
We're on live in five,
1110
01:11:54,551 --> 01:11:55,517
four,
1111
01:11:55,586 --> 01:11:56,413
three,
1112
01:11:56,551 --> 01:11:57,413
two,
1113
01:11:57,551 --> 01:11:58,448
one!
1114
01:11:58,551 --> 01:11:59,827
Take it!
1115
01:11:59,931 --> 01:12:02,482
Hi folks, Marshall Cotton
here for Dick Hope Automotive.
1116
01:12:02,620 --> 01:12:05,068
Why am I standing
here in this barrel?
1117
01:12:05,172 --> 01:12:08,448
Because we're
stripping everything
down to the bare bones.
1118
01:12:08,517 --> 01:12:11,137
Go in for a close up.
1119
01:12:11,275 --> 01:12:12,689
Not the monkey.
1120
01:12:14,827 --> 01:12:16,689
Move over and cover
the monkey, go, go, go.
1121
01:12:16,827 --> 01:12:19,827
There isn't any length
we won't go to to help out you,
1122
01:12:19,965 --> 01:12:21,965
our valued customer.
1123
01:12:22,103 --> 01:12:24,137
Come on down
to Dick Hope Automotive
1124
01:12:24,206 --> 01:12:27,137
where we're
taking the shirts off our backs.
1125
01:12:40,000 --> 01:12:42,862
Guy's got more hair on his
ass than he does on his head.
1126
01:12:46,827 --> 01:12:48,517
You don't want to go
to another dealership.
1127
01:12:48,655 --> 01:12:50,448
You see in my shop,
everybody's straight up.
1128
01:12:50,586 --> 01:12:51,862
No losers.
1129
01:12:55,965 --> 01:12:58,103
Gimme a break, I'm in a barrel.
1130
01:13:00,275 --> 01:13:02,241
I'll take a
hundred bucks off the top.
1131
01:13:07,241 --> 01:13:08,896
Excuse me.
1132
01:13:09,034 --> 01:13:11,689
I'm sorry, this is a rather
ridiculous sounding question...
1133
01:13:11,758 --> 01:13:14,000
but the last time
I was in this city,
1134
01:13:14,068 --> 01:13:16,068
did I perchance
leave a violin here?
1135
01:13:16,206 --> 01:13:17,724
[violins playing Knocking]
1136
01:14:00,896 --> 01:14:03,206
Oh, this better
not be Jehovah's Witness'.
1137
01:14:11,655 --> 01:14:12,724
What do you want?
1138
01:14:12,793 --> 01:14:14,103
My name is
Cole Richardson.
1139
01:14:14,241 --> 01:14:16,068
Professional home
wrecker, I take it?
1140
01:14:16,137 --> 01:14:17,137
I beg your pardon?
1141
01:14:17,275 --> 01:14:18,724
What is it?
1142
01:14:18,793 --> 01:14:20,827
I'm sorry
if it's a bad time,
1143
01:14:20,965 --> 01:14:23,000
but I'm with the thirteen
strings, the musical ensemble.
1144
01:14:23,103 --> 01:14:25,620
You guys don't have
to go door to door anymore,
1145
01:14:25,689 --> 01:14:27,344
they have this thing
called the Internet.
1146
01:14:27,448 --> 01:14:29,965
The proprietor of the House of
Luk Restaurant told me that...
1147
01:14:30,103 --> 01:14:32,724
well, that
you have my violin.
1148
01:14:32,793 --> 01:14:35,724
I just heard it
being played.
1149
01:14:35,793 --> 01:14:38,793
It's a genuine Radinsky.
1150
01:14:38,931 --> 01:14:40,275
I'd like it back.
1151
01:14:40,344 --> 01:14:42,137
Yeah,
of course. Come in.
1152
01:14:55,103 --> 01:14:56,103
Mr. Fook.
1153
01:14:56,172 --> 01:14:59,620
No.
My name is Ho Fook.
1154
01:14:59,758 --> 01:15:03,172
Or Mr. Lao.
Not Mr. Fook.
1155
01:15:03,241 --> 01:15:05,000
Mr. Berman
wants to see you.
1156
01:15:05,068 --> 01:15:06,172
He's been looking
for you all morning.
1157
01:15:06,310 --> 01:15:07,655
Tell him I can't.
Not right now.
1158
01:15:07,724 --> 01:15:08,896
Busy with big client.
1159
01:15:09,000 --> 01:15:10,655
Big client!
The hell you are.
1160
01:15:10,724 --> 01:15:12,344
Where's my rent cheque?
1161
01:15:12,413 --> 01:15:14,310
The rent cheque
is forthcoming.
1162
01:15:14,379 --> 01:15:16,000
Do not worry.
1163
01:15:16,137 --> 01:15:18,310
Every month
we go through this bullshit.
1164
01:15:18,379 --> 01:15:20,793
I'm not just some guy who
runs a business down the hall.
1165
01:15:20,862 --> 01:15:22,827
I own this place.
1166
01:15:22,896 --> 01:15:25,827
And I've got
plenty of associates looking
for good office space.
1167
01:15:25,896 --> 01:15:29,413
Mr. Berman, please,
it will be there.
1168
01:15:29,517 --> 01:15:31,689
Why should I believe that?
1169
01:15:31,758 --> 01:15:34,310
Ellen here tells
me that all of your calls
are from bill collectors?
1170
01:15:34,379 --> 01:15:36,827
She spends more time on the
phone with the guys threatening
1171
01:15:36,896 --> 01:15:40,655
to repossess
your office furniture
than she does working for me.
1172
01:15:40,793 --> 01:15:43,034
Mr. Berman, please.
1173
01:15:43,172 --> 01:15:45,379
I'm working on a
promotional video right now.
1174
01:15:45,517 --> 01:15:47,827
When is done, will bring
me a whole new client base.
1175
01:15:47,896 --> 01:15:50,172
Then, no more
of this lateness, okay?
1176
01:15:50,241 --> 01:15:53,655
I know I have been
disorganized in the past,
1177
01:15:53,724 --> 01:15:55,689
but now,
all is changing for me.
1178
01:15:55,827 --> 01:15:58,689
Am on top
of the world right now.
1179
01:15:58,758 --> 01:16:02,551
And believe me,
this is only the beginning.
1180
01:16:30,103 --> 01:16:32,344
Ma. I got you a present.
1181
01:16:37,241 --> 01:16:39,034
Take a look.
1182
01:16:39,103 --> 01:16:41,137
Brand new.
1183
01:16:41,241 --> 01:16:43,965
Top of the line.
1184
01:16:44,068 --> 01:16:46,034
I'll get my violin, we'll play.
1185
01:16:57,068 --> 01:16:58,862
Ma? Ma, what is it?
1186
01:16:58,931 --> 01:17:01,275
Come on, Ma, let's play.
1187
01:17:03,241 --> 01:17:04,103
Ma?
1188
01:17:06,413 --> 01:17:07,862
Ma?
1189
01:17:18,137 --> 01:17:20,931
For some reason,
it has to be that violin.
1190
01:17:21,000 --> 01:17:22,448
Nothing else'll do!
1191
01:17:22,586 --> 01:17:23,413
Go figure!
1192
01:17:26,103 --> 01:17:27,965
Why?
1193
01:17:28,103 --> 01:17:30,931
Why?
1194
01:17:31,000 --> 01:17:32,862
I don't know why.
You're the psychiatrist.
1195
01:17:32,965 --> 01:17:34,931
You're the one who
deals in human behavior.
1196
01:17:35,000 --> 01:17:38,172
You tell me.
1197
01:17:38,310 --> 01:17:39,448
So it's over.
1198
01:17:39,586 --> 01:17:42,000
Every night I try.
1199
01:17:42,137 --> 01:17:45,275
Every night
I try but it's all over.
1200
01:17:51,448 --> 01:17:52,517
Come here. Come here.
1201
01:17:52,655 --> 01:17:54,137
I want to show you something.
1202
01:17:54,275 --> 01:17:55,827
There!
1203
01:17:55,965 --> 01:17:59,275
Okay, who did
this for you?
1204
01:17:59,344 --> 01:18:02,206
Why did you hire
someone after me to come
in and do this for you?
1205
01:18:02,275 --> 01:18:04,931
This all wrong for a
personality type like you.
1206
01:18:05,034 --> 01:18:06,379
I didn't hire
anybody, asshole.
1207
01:18:06,448 --> 01:18:08,862
They volunteered.
We were robbed.
1208
01:18:09,000 --> 01:18:10,172
You were robbed?
1209
01:18:10,241 --> 01:18:12,172
Yes. Robbed.
Taken. Raped.
1210
01:18:12,241 --> 01:18:14,206
They took everything.
And do you know why?
1211
01:18:14,344 --> 01:18:16,379
Because the bars I had on
the windows were blocking
1212
01:18:16,448 --> 01:18:19,517
"the natural vibes"
of my personality.
1213
01:18:19,586 --> 01:18:21,275
I can tell
you right now.
1214
01:18:21,379 --> 01:18:23,344
If you had been in
this room at the time,
1215
01:18:23,413 --> 01:18:24,862
this would
not have happened.
1216
01:18:24,931 --> 01:18:26,275
Oh bullshit.
1217
01:18:26,379 --> 01:18:27,862
Feng Shui.
What is that?
1218
01:18:28,000 --> 01:18:29,413
Japanese for 'B And E'?
1219
01:18:29,551 --> 01:18:31,206
It's Chinese. Whatever.
Get out.
1220
01:18:31,275 --> 01:18:33,034
Get out before I
re-arrange your face
1221
01:18:33,103 --> 01:18:34,827
the way you
re-arranged my offices.
1222
01:18:34,896 --> 01:18:36,206
Hey, I don't take
that from you -
1223
01:18:36,275 --> 01:18:39,172
That's too bad - 'cause it's
all I've got left to take.
1224
01:18:39,241 --> 01:18:41,000
Those punk kids from
the neighborhood
1225
01:18:41,068 --> 01:18:44,103
you held the fucking
door open for took it all.
1226
01:18:44,206 --> 01:18:46,862
They even took your
fucking wind chimes.
1227
01:18:46,931 --> 01:18:48,172
They took the
wind chimes?
1228
01:18:55,517 --> 01:18:57,241
Severance?
1229
01:18:57,379 --> 01:19:00,000
Yeah.
Buy yourself some underwear.
1230
01:19:05,068 --> 01:19:06,448
Ah ah ah.
1231
01:19:41,310 --> 01:19:43,448
Hey. Book me some more airtime.
1232
01:19:43,586 --> 01:19:46,137
[honking and tires squealing]
1233
01:19:46,275 --> 01:19:49,068
I'm going on personally to tell
them that everything is O.K.
1234
01:20:32,137 --> 01:20:33,310
Mr. Richardson?
1235
01:20:33,448 --> 01:20:35,068
Oh.
Glad to see you again.
1236
01:20:35,137 --> 01:20:36,655
Lovely playing by the way.
1237
01:20:36,758 --> 01:20:37,931
Thank you,
thank you very much.
1238
01:20:38,000 --> 01:20:39,517
Listen. I hate to disturb
you during rehearsal,
1239
01:20:39,620 --> 01:20:41,965
but I wanted to ask
you about that violin.
1240
01:20:42,103 --> 01:20:44,655
Yes.
Thank you again. Truly.
1241
01:20:44,793 --> 01:20:48,448
I wanted to ask you...
see, you think I can talk,
1242
01:20:48,517 --> 01:20:50,517
if my father were here!
1243
01:20:50,620 --> 01:20:53,344
He could talk
anyone into anything.
1244
01:20:53,448 --> 01:20:57,103
Used to sell these
little plastic lizards.
1245
01:20:57,241 --> 01:20:59,482
You threw 'em on
a wall, they crawled down
1246
01:20:59,620 --> 01:21:01,517
and made this
funny zig zag pattern.
1247
01:21:01,586 --> 01:21:03,379
Really?
How interesting.
1248
01:21:03,517 --> 01:21:05,413
Well, see,
the thing is, my mother...
1249
01:21:05,517 --> 01:21:08,172
she's the kind of woman...
1250
01:21:08,241 --> 01:21:11,000
what can I tell ya,
she doesn't talk much.
1251
01:21:11,137 --> 01:21:13,965
Actually
she doesn't talk at all.
1252
01:21:14,034 --> 01:21:16,310
But she can play
the violin though.
1253
01:21:16,379 --> 01:21:19,482
Actually,
she can play that violin.
1254
01:21:19,620 --> 01:21:21,344
And only that one.
1255
01:21:21,482 --> 01:21:22,689
I can't explain it.
1256
01:21:22,827 --> 01:21:24,758
I only know that...
that without it...
1257
01:21:24,862 --> 01:21:27,344
she's not her herself.
Do you know what I mean?
1258
01:21:27,482 --> 01:21:31,689
Mr. Warden, I'm sorry, but
this violin is not for sale.
1259
01:21:31,827 --> 01:21:36,965
I lost it once and I lost
the ability to communicate.
1260
01:21:37,034 --> 01:21:39,448
You can't possibly
imagine what that's like.
1261
01:21:51,517 --> 01:21:53,689
You forgot your violin.
1262
01:21:56,241 --> 01:21:58,206
Uh.. hi, Mr. Lao.
1263
01:21:58,344 --> 01:22:01,241
I really hate to have to do
this and all, but the fact is,
1264
01:22:01,379 --> 01:22:04,103
they're really
on my ass over here.
1265
01:22:04,241 --> 01:22:07,241
I tried to explain but they read
me the riot act this afternoon.
1266
01:22:07,379 --> 01:22:09,068
If you don't
come up with the money,
1267
01:22:09,137 --> 01:22:11,068
they're going to repossess.
1268
01:22:11,137 --> 01:22:13,206
I fell really bad about this.
1269
01:22:13,275 --> 01:22:14,413
Sorry.
1270
01:22:18,758 --> 01:22:21,068
Hi, Ho Fook. It's Francine.
1271
01:22:21,137 --> 01:22:23,310
I'm calling to say
thank you for the other night.
1272
01:22:23,413 --> 01:22:24,689
I really want to talk to you.
1273
01:22:24,758 --> 01:22:26,275
Call me.
1274
01:22:31,896 --> 01:22:34,724
Hello, Francine.
It's Ho Fook here.
1275
01:22:34,862 --> 01:22:36,724
How are you?
1276
01:22:36,793 --> 01:22:40,413
I thought it was great
too... I'm glad to hear that.
1277
01:22:40,482 --> 01:22:43,103
But just tell me now,
okay, if this is bad news?
1278
01:22:43,172 --> 01:22:46,413
Because right now, bad news
would be very, very bad for me.
1279
01:22:46,482 --> 01:22:50,103
There is not
enough blue in the whole world
to calm me down right now.
1280
01:22:50,172 --> 01:22:52,275
If you walked in here right now
and you had dyed your skin blue,
1281
01:22:52,413 --> 01:22:53,793
it would still not be enough.
1282
01:22:53,931 --> 01:22:57,724
If this is bad,
you let me down gently, okay?
1283
01:22:57,793 --> 01:22:59,758
Ron, I'm not asking
you as a salesman.
1284
01:22:59,827 --> 01:23:01,655
God knows I'm not
qualified for that.
1285
01:23:01,793 --> 01:23:03,620
I'm asking
you as a friend.
1286
01:23:03,758 --> 01:23:05,172
A thirty-second spot.
1287
01:23:05,310 --> 01:23:07,482
A little boost to your
profile, what could it hurt.
1288
01:23:07,620 --> 01:23:09,275
For me.
1289
01:23:09,413 --> 01:23:11,448
What do you say?
1290
01:23:11,517 --> 01:23:16,310
I say for old time's sake,
lunch is on me, Marshall.
1291
01:23:16,448 --> 01:23:19,137
Here,
keep some for yourself.
1292
01:23:19,206 --> 01:23:22,137
Beyond that...
I gotta run.
1293
01:23:22,206 --> 01:23:24,620
Great seeing you again,
you stay healthy.
1294
01:23:24,689 --> 01:23:26,206
And call me any time.
1295
01:23:26,310 --> 01:23:27,620
I'm out of town
for a couple of months,
1296
01:23:27,689 --> 01:23:29,344
call me after that, O.K.?
1297
01:23:29,448 --> 01:23:31,275
Thanks a lot.
1298
01:23:45,965 --> 01:23:48,137
Hey Joe!
1299
01:23:48,275 --> 01:23:50,137
Oh. Marshall.
How are you?
1300
01:23:50,275 --> 01:23:51,448
Good, good.
1301
01:23:51,517 --> 01:23:52,517
I've been trying to
get a hold of Melinda
1302
01:23:52,655 --> 01:23:53,689
but we can't
seem to connect.
1303
01:23:53,793 --> 01:23:55,275
Cuba, how'd it go?
1304
01:23:55,344 --> 01:23:57,137
Let me ask you
this: the ring.
1305
01:23:57,206 --> 01:23:58,586
Did it go over?
1306
01:23:58,655 --> 01:24:00,551
Did the ring go over?
1307
01:24:00,689 --> 01:24:02,206
And how!
1308
01:24:04,586 --> 01:24:06,724
Uh... Janice,
this is Marshall.
1309
01:24:06,862 --> 01:24:08,724
Marshall, Janice.
1310
01:24:08,862 --> 01:24:11,517
Marshall is the man
responsible for the ring.
1311
01:24:11,586 --> 01:24:14,586
Oh! I'm very happy with it.
1312
01:24:14,724 --> 01:24:17,965
I never
thought he'd finally do it.
1313
01:24:18,068 --> 01:24:21,379
Yes. I was just telling Marshall
about the recent trip I took -
1314
01:24:21,517 --> 01:24:24,586
that gig in Cuba,
the cruise ship.
1315
01:24:24,689 --> 01:24:26,241
Oh yes,
the cruise ship.
1316
01:24:26,379 --> 01:24:27,551
I heard you
had to share a cabin.
1317
01:24:27,689 --> 01:24:31,206
Uh, Marshall -
1318
01:24:31,275 --> 01:24:32,448
Come on, sweetie.
1319
01:24:32,551 --> 01:24:34,586
Help mommy finish
what's on her plate.
1320
01:24:34,724 --> 01:24:37,206
You see that man
right there, sweetie?
1321
01:24:37,275 --> 01:24:39,344
You know what he
does fore a living?
1322
01:24:39,413 --> 01:24:42,896
He sells jewelry,
just like mommy's pretty ring.
1323
01:24:43,034 --> 01:24:45,551
Actually I'm out
of that business now.
1324
01:24:45,620 --> 01:24:47,551
I'm selling
television spots.
1325
01:24:47,620 --> 01:24:51,448
Oh. Well, at least
you went out with a bang.
1326
01:24:51,551 --> 01:24:54,517
My Joe here was on
thin ice until you came along.
1327
01:24:54,586 --> 01:24:57,931
Well I think your Joe
here is in the wrong business.
1328
01:24:58,034 --> 01:25:03,275
Oh I don't know,
he seems to be doing all right.
1329
01:25:03,344 --> 01:25:04,931
He should be
in the oil business.
1330
01:25:05,000 --> 01:25:06,965
Oil? You mean like crude?
1331
01:25:07,103 --> 01:25:08,793
No.
1332
01:25:08,931 --> 01:25:10,655
Snake.
1333
01:25:14,896 --> 01:25:18,241
[phone ringing]
1334
01:25:18,379 --> 01:25:19,689
Hi.
1335
01:25:19,793 --> 01:25:21,758
Sandy, I want you
to do something for me.
1336
01:25:21,827 --> 01:25:24,724
This is the
name of a violinmaker,
used to live in town.
1337
01:25:24,793 --> 01:25:26,758
Do me a favor.
Call some people.
1338
01:25:26,827 --> 01:25:28,620
See if you can find out
anything about him.
1339
01:25:28,689 --> 01:25:30,758
I doubt the guy's still
alive, that's the thing.
1340
01:25:30,896 --> 01:25:32,379
But entertain me.
1341
01:25:32,448 --> 01:25:33,517
Gimme some hope.
1342
01:25:33,620 --> 01:25:35,827
Call anyway, would ya,
see what you can dig up?
1343
01:25:35,931 --> 01:25:37,275
Ok.
1344
01:25:43,896 --> 01:25:45,724
[doorbell]
1345
01:25:52,448 --> 01:25:53,931
Marshall!
What happened to you?
1346
01:25:54,068 --> 01:25:57,689
Hair today,
gone tomorrow?
1347
01:25:57,793 --> 01:26:01,034
I have something we need to
talk about, so can I come in.
1348
01:26:01,172 --> 01:26:03,379
I don't have time
for a visit, Marshall.
1349
01:26:03,517 --> 01:26:05,310
Joe's dropping
by before his show.
1350
01:26:05,379 --> 01:26:07,551
Well
Joe won't be coming.
1351
01:26:07,655 --> 01:26:09,724
What?
How do you know?
1352
01:26:09,827 --> 01:26:11,896
The kid's
not home is she?
1353
01:26:12,000 --> 01:26:13,551
No. Why?
1354
01:26:13,689 --> 01:26:15,827
I don't want
her to hear this.
1355
01:26:15,896 --> 01:26:18,000
Can I come in.
1356
01:26:25,689 --> 01:26:28,551
It's a kind of a
funny thing actually.
1357
01:26:28,689 --> 01:26:33,482
It's about Joe and... ahh...
it ends up that he's attached.
1358
01:26:33,551 --> 01:26:35,413
I know.
1359
01:26:35,517 --> 01:26:38,344
No. I don't mean
that he's attached to you.
1360
01:26:38,413 --> 01:26:41,000
I mean that he's
attached to somebody else.
1361
01:26:41,137 --> 01:26:42,655
...What?
1362
01:26:42,793 --> 01:26:44,344
They've got a kid.
1363
01:26:44,482 --> 01:26:46,862
What? He's got
a wife and a child?
1364
01:26:46,931 --> 01:26:49,517
Don't overreact; I knew you
were going to react like this.
1365
01:26:49,655 --> 01:26:51,000
It's not that serious.
1366
01:26:51,068 --> 01:26:52,827
It's not a wife
and a child.
1367
01:26:52,965 --> 01:26:55,000
He's got a fiancée
and a child.
1368
01:26:55,068 --> 01:26:57,517
Oh Marshall, where
did you hear that?
1369
01:26:57,586 --> 01:27:01,758
It's on the Internet at - Joe at
deceiving philanderer dot com.
1370
01:27:01,896 --> 01:27:06,931
- Look if you don't
believe me please do me a
favour and call him at home.
1371
01:27:07,068 --> 01:27:13,896
I can't. I don't have his
home number, only his cell.
1372
01:27:14,034 --> 01:27:15,965
Well, I've got it.
1373
01:27:25,862 --> 01:27:27,379
Hello?
1374
01:27:27,448 --> 01:27:30,413
Uh, yes,
could I speak to Joe please?
1375
01:27:30,482 --> 01:27:32,103
I'm afraid
Joe's not in right now.
1376
01:27:32,241 --> 01:27:35,068
Who is it, mommy?
1377
01:27:35,137 --> 01:27:36,896
Somebody for daddy.
1378
01:27:38,724 --> 01:27:41,448
Oh my god!
It's true, isn't it?
1379
01:27:44,103 --> 01:27:46,068
Aw honey, I'm sorry -
1380
01:27:46,137 --> 01:27:48,724
Get your fucking
hands off of me!
1381
01:27:48,793 --> 01:27:50,379
What, I'm just
trying to console you.
1382
01:27:50,448 --> 01:27:53,448
You're the one
responsible for all of this!
1383
01:27:53,586 --> 01:27:55,896
I was perfectly happy
until you came along!
1384
01:27:56,034 --> 01:27:58,551
That is not true,
no you weren't!
1385
01:27:58,620 --> 01:28:02,965
Ok, maybe I wasn't but
I was happier than I am now.
1386
01:28:03,034 --> 01:28:05,517
How could you do this to me?
1387
01:28:05,655 --> 01:28:08,793
Well, you know, I wanted
to see more of the kid
1388
01:28:08,862 --> 01:28:10,689
and I just thought that
if I married you off
1389
01:28:10,827 --> 01:28:12,931
and I didn't have to
worry about money anymore...
1390
01:28:13,000 --> 01:28:16,103
What, I should trust
you with our daughter,
1391
01:28:16,172 --> 01:28:18,000
after everything
you've put me through?
1392
01:28:18,137 --> 01:28:20,827
I've been jumping through
hoops since the day I met you.
1393
01:28:20,965 --> 01:28:23,827
I am not going to let you
start to do that to Kathleen.
1394
01:28:23,896 --> 01:28:27,965
You broke my heart,
Marshall, into little pieces -
1395
01:28:28,034 --> 01:28:32,137
how are you going
to fix that, with Anusol?
1396
01:28:32,206 --> 01:28:34,068
All right, all right...
what do you want me to say?
1397
01:28:36,965 --> 01:28:41,965
I want you to say
that you're through using
me for your stupid schemes,
1398
01:28:42,103 --> 01:28:45,862
I am a person,
Marshall, not some mark.
1399
01:28:46,000 --> 01:28:48,137
I've got needs;
I can't go through life saying,
1400
01:28:48,275 --> 01:28:50,448
"Just looking, thank you."
1401
01:28:50,586 --> 01:28:52,551
Ok...No! No!
1402
01:28:52,655 --> 01:28:56,551
And don't write
this attitude off to my
woman's discussion group.
1403
01:28:56,655 --> 01:28:58,620
'Cause if you
do I'm warning you,
1404
01:28:58,689 --> 01:29:00,689
the next spine that's going
to get broken around here
1405
01:29:00,827 --> 01:29:03,034
won't be the one on
some Germaine Greer book.
1406
01:29:03,172 --> 01:29:05,068
It'll be yours!
1407
01:29:08,379 --> 01:29:09,896
It's the product.
1408
01:29:10,034 --> 01:29:14,000
I'm always selling
the wrong goddamn product...
1409
01:29:16,689 --> 01:29:18,586
It's me, Sandy.
Any calls today?
1410
01:29:22,689 --> 01:29:24,862
Yeah...
Of course I remember.
1411
01:29:25,000 --> 01:29:28,103
Why, you find something?
1412
01:29:28,206 --> 01:29:29,586
Is that right?
1413
01:29:29,724 --> 01:29:31,206
Ah! That's marvelous,
Sandy, marvelous.
1414
01:29:31,275 --> 01:29:33,551
I love you.
Okay, where are they?
1415
01:29:36,862 --> 01:29:38,689
I'll see if I can
get over there right away.
1416
01:29:38,758 --> 01:29:40,896
Thanks a lot.
1417
01:29:41,034 --> 01:29:45,068
You look beautiful
as always. Really.
1418
01:29:45,206 --> 01:29:47,275
Oh, Fook. I have
the most wonderful news.
1419
01:29:47,379 --> 01:29:49,068
I can't wait
to tell you.
1420
01:29:49,206 --> 01:29:52,172
I am glad
to hear that.
1421
01:29:52,241 --> 01:29:54,482
I'm pregnant.
1422
01:29:54,551 --> 01:29:55,586
...You are what?
1423
01:29:55,689 --> 01:29:57,551
I'm pregnant.
1424
01:29:57,689 --> 01:30:00,689
Really? Oh my god.
1425
01:30:00,758 --> 01:30:02,931
This cannot
be happening.
1426
01:30:03,034 --> 01:30:05,862
You are not
serious are you?
1427
01:30:06,000 --> 01:30:09,896
I'm very serious
- and very happy.
1428
01:30:10,034 --> 01:30:14,034
Francine,
this is amazing. Really?
1429
01:30:14,172 --> 01:30:16,551
Really.
I love you, Fook.
1430
01:30:16,689 --> 01:30:17,862
...you do?
1431
01:30:17,931 --> 01:30:20,689
I do. You're a
very special man.
1432
01:30:23,172 --> 01:30:26,551
Thank you.
That's wonderful.
1433
01:30:26,689 --> 01:30:29,172
You have no
problems with this?
1434
01:30:29,241 --> 01:30:32,206
No. Do you know how
long my partner and I
1435
01:30:32,275 --> 01:30:34,758
have been trying
to adopt a child?
1436
01:30:34,862 --> 01:30:37,551
We have been
lobbying for months.
1437
01:30:37,689 --> 01:30:39,241
And then, you.
1438
01:30:39,379 --> 01:30:43,275
The way you said "You and
your partner are unhappy.
1439
01:30:43,379 --> 01:30:46,724
You both need a new
person in your lives."
1440
01:30:46,862 --> 01:30:51,275
I knew right away that you
were talking about the baby.
1441
01:30:51,379 --> 01:30:54,896
The way you fixed the
room for me, prepared me...
1442
01:30:55,034 --> 01:31:00,206
It didn't feel like "Oh my
God, I am sleeping with a man."
1443
01:31:00,275 --> 01:31:03,275
It felt like it
was in the stars.
1444
01:31:03,413 --> 01:31:05,172
Well of course
it was in the stars,
1445
01:31:05,275 --> 01:31:08,068
Feng Shui is a four
thousand year old art, right.
1446
01:31:10,310 --> 01:31:13,275
Thank you, Ho Fook.
1447
01:31:13,344 --> 01:31:16,724
Thank you so much.
1448
01:31:16,793 --> 01:31:19,206
And Brenda
thanks you too.
1449
01:32:14,689 --> 01:32:16,689
Hi.
1450
01:32:16,827 --> 01:32:19,241
Marshall. Hello.
1451
01:32:19,344 --> 01:32:25,413
I just came by
to tell you that I did
your dirty work for you.
1452
01:32:25,517 --> 01:32:28,344
Oh.
Well, what can I say?
1453
01:32:28,413 --> 01:32:31,862
Awfully nice of you
to pick up the tab. Why?
1454
01:32:32,000 --> 01:32:36,000
Professional courtesy,
you being the better salesman.
1455
01:32:36,068 --> 01:32:39,137
Well, if it's any consolation,
Marshall, I know how you feel.
1456
01:32:39,275 --> 01:32:40,724
Do you?
1457
01:32:40,862 --> 01:32:42,655
Sure. I've had it all:
drinks thrown in my face,
1458
01:32:42,724 --> 01:32:44,862
threatening e-mail... I even
came home one night to find
1459
01:32:45,000 --> 01:32:48,172
my underwear nailed to
my door with a pair of scissors.
1460
01:32:48,310 --> 01:32:50,655
Just my luck you weren't
wearing them at the time.
1461
01:32:50,724 --> 01:32:53,655
Misery still
love company, Marshall.
1462
01:32:53,793 --> 01:32:55,827
Here.
1463
01:32:59,310 --> 01:33:00,862
What happened?
1464
01:33:00,931 --> 01:33:03,310
A stripper
named Brandy.
1465
01:33:03,413 --> 01:33:06,862
It was
the last straw.
1466
01:33:06,931 --> 01:33:09,793
By the way,
I'm not Irish.
1467
01:33:09,896 --> 01:33:12,206
It just
turns the girls on.
1468
01:33:33,034 --> 01:33:34,103
Mr. Kidd?
1469
01:33:34,241 --> 01:33:35,241
Yes.
1470
01:33:35,310 --> 01:33:38,896
Chuck Warden,
my secretary called you.
1471
01:33:38,965 --> 01:33:41,379
Ohh, you're the guy who wants
to know about Radinsky, right?
1472
01:33:41,448 --> 01:33:42,448
Yes, that's right.
1473
01:33:42,551 --> 01:33:44,724
Have a seat.
1474
01:33:44,862 --> 01:33:46,103
Thank you.
1475
01:33:46,241 --> 01:33:48,068
Why do you want
to know about him?
1476
01:33:48,206 --> 01:33:50,758
Well, it's a
long story really.
1477
01:33:50,896 --> 01:33:52,931
But he made a violin
and I want to know
1478
01:33:53,068 --> 01:33:56,068
if he made
any others like it.
1479
01:33:56,206 --> 01:33:58,379
This violin,
what did it look like?
1480
01:33:58,448 --> 01:34:02,034
It's not what it looked like,
it's what it sounded like.
1481
01:34:02,137 --> 01:34:05,000
It's the only violin
that my mother will play.
1482
01:34:05,137 --> 01:34:06,517
Your mother's a musician?
1483
01:34:06,655 --> 01:34:09,310
Yeah.
Although I had no idea.
1484
01:34:09,448 --> 01:34:10,827
Quiet as
a mouse my mother.
1485
01:34:10,965 --> 01:34:13,103
A dead mouse.
Never said a word.
1486
01:34:13,172 --> 01:34:16,482
Then one day, I come home,
she's in the kid's room
1487
01:34:16,551 --> 01:34:21,103
standing over his bed,
playing this violin. Crying.
1488
01:34:21,172 --> 01:34:23,793
A piece by Buchini.
Nice piece.
1489
01:34:23,862 --> 01:34:26,482
...Oh my God...
1490
01:34:26,620 --> 01:34:30,206
What, what?
1491
01:34:30,310 --> 01:34:31,793
How about
a cup of tea?
1492
01:34:31,931 --> 01:34:33,413
Would you like tea?
1493
01:34:33,482 --> 01:34:35,827
Yeah? I like tea.
1494
01:34:43,931 --> 01:34:47,034
Well... okay.
1495
01:34:47,137 --> 01:34:50,793
For many years,
I was an apprentice
1496
01:34:50,862 --> 01:34:54,034
to Mr. Radinsky.
1497
01:34:54,137 --> 01:34:56,482
Wonderful old guy.
1498
01:34:56,551 --> 01:35:01,862
He had been a virtuoso
in Vienna, many years ago.
1499
01:35:01,931 --> 01:35:05,517
Came here about the time
the orchestra started up.
1500
01:35:05,586 --> 01:35:09,379
Anyway, at that time,
one of the big families
1501
01:35:09,517 --> 01:35:12,379
in this town had this daughter.
1502
01:35:12,517 --> 01:35:18,275
And you know, being rich and
into the arts and all of that,
1503
01:35:18,379 --> 01:35:21,862
they wanted her
to take music lessons.
1504
01:35:21,931 --> 01:35:25,379
She was about
seventeen years old or so.
1505
01:35:25,517 --> 01:35:27,896
Well,
they call in Mr. Radinsky,
1506
01:35:27,965 --> 01:35:31,931
and wouldn't you know it, the
old guy falls in love with her.
1507
01:35:32,034 --> 01:35:34,413
Head over heels.
1508
01:35:34,551 --> 01:35:36,241
And wouldn't you know it again
1509
01:35:36,379 --> 01:35:40,620
but pretty
soon, she gets pregnant.
1510
01:35:40,724 --> 01:35:46,206
Well, family scandal,
of course; you could imagine,
1511
01:35:46,275 --> 01:35:51,344
and this family disowns her.
1512
01:35:51,413 --> 01:35:56,344
She goes running to Mr. Radinsky
and he says to hell with them!
1513
01:35:56,413 --> 01:35:59,068
And I'm sure that's
exactly what he said because
1514
01:35:59,206 --> 01:36:02,931
although he didn't talk
much, that's the way he was.
1515
01:36:03,000 --> 01:36:05,137
To hell with them, he said.
1516
01:36:05,275 --> 01:36:07,379
We'll start our own family.
1517
01:36:11,103 --> 01:36:13,241
You don't
think I can make a family?
1518
01:36:17,310 --> 01:36:19,586
There, he said.
1519
01:36:22,275 --> 01:36:25,413
Don't tell me
I can't make a family.
1520
01:36:31,103 --> 01:36:34,310
Every night for the next
eight months he stayed late.
1521
01:36:34,448 --> 01:36:36,620
Every night
I would leave the place
1522
01:36:36,758 --> 01:36:41,241
and every night I would
ask him what he was working on.
1523
01:36:44,620 --> 01:36:47,931
Personal project, he'd say.
1524
01:36:48,068 --> 01:36:51,000
It was a violin.
1525
01:36:51,103 --> 01:36:55,103
The most beautiful
violin you ever saw.
1526
01:36:55,241 --> 01:36:58,448
I saw it, years ago.
1527
01:36:58,586 --> 01:37:04,137
He said to his wife,
this is for our child.
1528
01:37:04,206 --> 01:37:09,068
He played it for her while
the child was still in the womb,
1529
01:37:09,172 --> 01:37:13,379
played the baby
to sleep after it was born,
1530
01:37:13,517 --> 01:37:21,517
and
kept giving her lessons so that
when he got tired, she'd play.
1531
01:37:21,586 --> 01:37:26,344
That violin was never used
for anything except that child.
1532
01:37:30,689 --> 01:37:33,482
Then,
one morning, I'm coming in...
1533
01:37:37,103 --> 01:37:43,482
I've got coffee in one hand,
a honey cruller in the other.
1534
01:37:43,551 --> 01:37:47,482
Just lying there he was,
1535
01:37:47,620 --> 01:37:53,137
surrounded by his violins.
1536
01:37:53,206 --> 01:37:58,551
Then, you know, I had
the nasty job of telling her.
1537
01:37:58,689 --> 01:38:05,206
And of course, as I'm
telling her, she starts to cry.
1538
01:38:05,275 --> 01:38:08,724
She hands
me this beautiful violin.
1539
01:38:08,793 --> 01:38:12,206
She says "I'm crying
like a baby. So play."
1540
01:38:12,275 --> 01:38:18,758
so she cried and
I played until she stopped.
1541
01:38:18,827 --> 01:38:23,758
Then, she packed
up the violin, handed it to me.
1542
01:38:23,827 --> 01:38:28,413
She said
I never want to see it again.
1543
01:38:28,551 --> 01:38:31,137
I wanted to keep it.
1544
01:38:31,275 --> 01:38:33,724
I thought, I don't know, maybe
the baby'll grow up some day,
1545
01:38:33,862 --> 01:38:38,068
he'll want it.
1546
01:38:38,206 --> 01:38:40,724
She caught me with it.
1547
01:38:40,862 --> 01:38:43,793
She said no. Get rid of it.
1548
01:38:43,896 --> 01:38:46,793
So... what could I do?
1549
01:38:50,379 --> 01:38:52,241
You want more tea?
1550
01:38:52,379 --> 01:38:55,241
No, no. That's all right.
1551
01:38:55,310 --> 01:39:00,758
For
whatever reasons, she married
the first joker who came along.
1552
01:39:00,827 --> 01:39:03,862
A real loudmouth.
1553
01:39:03,965 --> 01:39:06,655
You know what he did?
1554
01:39:06,793 --> 01:39:09,896
...He sold
these little plastic lizards,
1555
01:39:10,000 --> 01:39:12,310
you threw them against
a wall and they crawled down
1556
01:39:12,448 --> 01:39:15,655
in this funny zig zag pattern.
1557
01:39:15,793 --> 01:39:17,517
...Uh huh.
1558
01:39:24,517 --> 01:39:28,793
I remember
he said he could make a killing
1559
01:39:28,931 --> 01:39:31,655
if he sold 'em in China.
1560
01:39:31,793 --> 01:39:34,137
Had this
promotion all worked out
1561
01:39:34,206 --> 01:39:39,758
where he'd throw 'em against
the Great Wall, hundreds of 'em.
1562
01:39:39,827 --> 01:39:42,103
Yeah...
1563
01:39:42,172 --> 01:39:44,793
I met him once.
For five seconds.
1564
01:39:44,931 --> 01:39:47,103
Felt like half an hour.
1565
01:39:47,172 --> 01:39:49,689
Talk, talk, talk.
1566
01:39:49,827 --> 01:39:53,379
I think she
managed to interrupt him once.
1567
01:39:53,482 --> 01:39:57,103
I remember
shaking my head and thinking,
1568
01:39:57,172 --> 01:40:01,310
"Well, that's the
last word she'll ever get in."
1569
01:40:01,379 --> 01:40:04,827
I guess it was.
1570
01:40:04,965 --> 01:40:07,275
Yeah...
1571
01:40:19,206 --> 01:40:20,758
[knocking on door]
1572
01:40:22,448 --> 01:40:23,793
[knocking on door]
1573
01:40:25,206 --> 01:40:26,793
Mr. Lao?
1574
01:40:32,482 --> 01:40:35,275
McGill And McGill Collectors
sent us for the furniture.
1575
01:40:47,793 --> 01:40:49,758
Sorry.
1576
01:40:56,620 --> 01:40:58,172
The new channels, Marshall.
1577
01:40:58,310 --> 01:40:59,827
They've been approved.
1578
01:40:59,965 --> 01:41:02,206
More discount
specialty programs for everyone!
1579
01:41:02,275 --> 01:41:04,275
Hurray!
1580
01:41:04,413 --> 01:41:07,275
Niche marketing,
that's the only way to survive
in this business anymore.
1581
01:41:07,379 --> 01:41:10,689
So... we're going
after a new audience.
1582
01:41:10,827 --> 01:41:12,551
TV for he e-mail generation.
1583
01:41:12,689 --> 01:41:14,379
Young, hip,
in your face programming,
1584
01:41:14,448 --> 01:41:16,448
with a jerky camera.
1585
01:41:16,551 --> 01:41:20,862
We'll be looking at a younger
anchor, younger reporters...
1586
01:41:21,000 --> 01:41:24,758
younger sales staff.
1587
01:41:24,896 --> 01:41:27,689
Great. What about a
younger station manager?
1588
01:41:27,758 --> 01:41:29,586
Hah! Nah.
1589
01:41:29,724 --> 01:41:32,413
Figure
I'll just change my job title.
1590
01:41:32,517 --> 01:41:34,379
"Babysitter."
1591
01:41:51,034 --> 01:41:54,551
[violin playing]
1592
01:42:36,896 --> 01:42:39,724
Ma. Where did you get this?
1593
01:43:27,965 --> 01:43:30,034
The violinmaker
sent it to her.
1594
01:43:30,172 --> 01:43:31,965
He went to see
the guy from 13 strings
1595
01:43:32,034 --> 01:43:34,724
and out of respect
for old Radinsky -
1596
01:43:34,862 --> 01:43:37,655
my old man I guess I should
learn to start saying -
1597
01:43:37,724 --> 01:43:39,034
the guy gave it up.
1598
01:43:39,172 --> 01:43:41,034
Must've been a
hell of a trade.
1599
01:43:41,172 --> 01:43:43,000
You know, you tell me
about the people you see,
1600
01:43:43,137 --> 01:43:45,862
they complain about their
mothers, their daughters,
1601
01:43:46,000 --> 01:43:48,379
their sons...
the complainers.
1602
01:43:48,517 --> 01:43:52,344
And then I realized,
I'm in an ideal position.
1603
01:43:52,413 --> 01:43:54,551
My family...
they can only speak
1604
01:43:54,689 --> 01:43:58,448
when they have
something beautiful to say.
1605
01:43:58,517 --> 01:43:59,862
That's very nice.
1606
01:44:00,000 --> 01:44:01,758
You know another
funny thing?
1607
01:44:01,896 --> 01:44:04,413
You remember the first
time we came here?
1608
01:44:04,482 --> 01:44:06,448
I got this
fortune cookie.
1609
01:44:06,586 --> 01:44:09,448
And do you know
what it said inside?
1610
01:44:09,586 --> 01:44:14,379
"Can New Voices Be Wrought
From An Ancient Instrument?"
1611
01:44:14,448 --> 01:44:16,586
And God Almighty,
it was right.
1612
01:44:16,655 --> 01:44:20,068
For years I tried to get that
my mother to make a sound,
1613
01:44:20,137 --> 01:44:22,827
a peep, something.
1614
01:44:22,931 --> 01:44:26,379
And when she did,
everything else followed.
1615
01:44:26,448 --> 01:44:28,379
But I had to find that
old instrument first.
1616
01:44:28,517 --> 01:44:31,068
That was the key.
1617
01:44:31,137 --> 01:44:35,724
What I want to know
is this: how did it know?
1618
01:44:35,793 --> 01:44:40,482
A cookie can't think...
so how did it know?
1619
01:44:40,586 --> 01:44:43,758
Andrew, you've been sitting
across from me for six weeks.
1620
01:44:43,827 --> 01:44:46,758
eating my spring rolls,
nodding your head,
1621
01:44:46,896 --> 01:44:49,896
and pontificate
about monkeys.
1622
01:44:49,965 --> 01:44:54,758
And all the time
some guy working in
a factory in Hong Kong
1623
01:44:54,896 --> 01:44:59,965
had all the answer
long before you did.
1624
01:45:00,068 --> 01:45:04,931
This is our last session,
this one is on you.
1625
01:45:05,000 --> 01:45:06,793
I think you owe me.
1626
01:45:08,655 --> 01:45:11,586
What is so important that
I had to rush across town.
1627
01:45:11,655 --> 01:45:14,448
Is this about Kathleen?
1628
01:45:14,517 --> 01:45:17,620
Well, sort of.
1629
01:45:17,758 --> 01:45:19,068
Sort of?
1630
01:45:22,793 --> 01:45:24,103
Here.
1631
01:45:31,758 --> 01:45:33,206
What do you think?
1632
01:45:33,310 --> 01:45:36,620
I don't know. It's nice.
1633
01:45:36,758 --> 01:45:39,137
A little
flashy but... basic.
1634
01:45:39,206 --> 01:45:41,448
Nice.
1635
01:45:41,517 --> 01:45:43,551
I get it.
1636
01:45:43,655 --> 01:45:47,517
You're going to start selling
these and I'm your guinea pig?
1637
01:45:47,655 --> 01:45:52,793
No.
I want you to marry me.
1638
01:45:52,931 --> 01:45:56,655
Again.
1639
01:45:56,793 --> 01:45:58,448
Marshall,
you can't be serious.
1640
01:45:58,586 --> 01:46:00,724
I'm deathly serious.
1641
01:46:00,862 --> 01:46:02,241
I love you.
1642
01:46:05,379 --> 01:46:08,896
You want us
to get married again?
1643
01:46:09,034 --> 01:46:10,517
Why?
1644
01:46:10,655 --> 01:46:12,689
Why?
1645
01:46:12,827 --> 01:46:15,724
Because I can't hold a job,
1646
01:46:15,862 --> 01:46:18,896
I'm constantly broke,
1647
01:46:19,034 --> 01:46:23,620
and I have no self-esteem.
1648
01:46:23,724 --> 01:46:27,655
All these years in sales
and that's your pitch?
1649
01:46:27,724 --> 01:46:29,206
You see, that's the thing.
1650
01:46:29,275 --> 01:46:31,103
It's not a pitch.
1651
01:46:31,206 --> 01:46:33,206
Pitching I'm through with.
1652
01:46:33,344 --> 01:46:35,275
I could never find
the right product anyways.
1653
01:46:35,379 --> 01:46:37,793
It's like this fortune cookie
I kept telling you about.
1654
01:46:37,896 --> 01:46:40,206
"Is a blind man truly
reflected in a mirror?"
1655
01:46:40,275 --> 01:46:44,896
I couldn't see what was
in the mirror, which was me.
1656
01:46:45,034 --> 01:46:46,689
And I'm not going to spend
the rest of my life casting
1657
01:46:46,758 --> 01:46:49,689
what's left of that in front
of the Joe Regans of the world
1658
01:46:49,758 --> 01:46:55,172
just so they can trample all
over me like an oriental rug.
1659
01:46:55,241 --> 01:47:00,275
This is so funny, all the
times you came over to my place
1660
01:47:00,379 --> 01:47:04,862
and told me I should
learn how to be myself,
1661
01:47:04,965 --> 01:47:09,000
and that I had to stop putting
myself through all these things,
1662
01:47:09,103 --> 01:47:13,758
secretly I was thinking
the same about you.
1663
01:47:21,241 --> 01:47:24,137
So...
1664
01:47:24,275 --> 01:47:28,413
this is the latest hoop you
want me to jump through, huh?
1665
01:47:31,172 --> 01:47:34,793
And then,
a funny thing happened.
1666
01:47:34,862 --> 01:47:37,965
...as the movers were
taking all of my furniture away,
1667
01:47:38,103 --> 01:47:41,758
I realized... that I was happy.
1668
01:47:41,896 --> 01:47:45,068
I was not sad. Why?
1669
01:47:45,137 --> 01:47:47,931
Why should I be happy?
1670
01:47:48,000 --> 01:47:51,103
I had lost the girl,
I had lost my business,
1671
01:47:51,241 --> 01:47:54,034
I had lost my furniture...
1672
01:47:54,137 --> 01:47:57,689
but as the movers
were taking my furniture away,
1673
01:47:57,793 --> 01:48:00,620
I realized
that I had spent all this time
1674
01:48:00,689 --> 01:48:03,379
rearranging
other people's furniture,
1675
01:48:03,517 --> 01:48:06,689
rearranging
other people's lives.
1676
01:48:06,758 --> 01:48:12,172
But that this was the first time
that anyone was doing it to me.
1677
01:48:12,241 --> 01:48:16,172
They were freeing me up,
taking all of my clutter away
1678
01:48:16,241 --> 01:48:18,758
and creating order.
1679
01:48:18,862 --> 01:48:23,034
This, I realized,
was the real Feng Shui:
1680
01:48:23,103 --> 01:48:26,827
not me walking
into someone's office and saying
1681
01:48:26,896 --> 01:48:30,689
"If you put your couch here your
relationships will improve",
1682
01:48:30,758 --> 01:48:35,034
but these movers,
taking away my life.
1683
01:49:05,827 --> 01:49:11,896
Marshall find he want
to marry his wife again.
1684
01:49:11,965 --> 01:49:14,103
Now he doing all right.
1685
01:49:17,103 --> 01:49:19,241
He write a bestseller.
1686
01:49:19,379 --> 01:49:23,379
Becoming very
popular on seminar circuit.
1687
01:49:28,379 --> 01:49:30,241
Chuck happy too.
1688
01:49:30,379 --> 01:49:32,896
Comes here, goes home then plays
1689
01:49:32,965 --> 01:49:35,482
with his family every night.
1690
01:49:35,586 --> 01:49:39,896
One night, he meet
nice girl here, at House of Luk.
1691
01:49:40,034 --> 01:49:45,068
She a cellist.
Round out the quartet.
1692
01:49:45,206 --> 01:49:47,724
She's expecting, maybe they have
1693
01:49:47,793 --> 01:49:50,206
a viola player in their future.
1694
01:49:54,862 --> 01:49:57,413
Ho Fook still come here.
1695
01:49:57,482 --> 01:50:01,793
As biological father,
is allowed to see the baby.
1696
01:50:06,068 --> 01:50:10,206
One day,
he take baby to the park.
1697
01:50:10,275 --> 01:50:13,034
There,
he meet nice single mother.
1698
01:50:13,103 --> 01:50:15,172
They both hit it off.
1699
01:50:16,896 --> 01:50:20,379
Next thing his
mother tell me, he is partner in
1700
01:50:20,448 --> 01:50:26,413
girl's business -
is business just right for him.
1701
01:50:28,896 --> 01:50:32,862
People still
come here to find something
1702
01:50:32,931 --> 01:50:36,517
they cannot find anywhere else.
1703
01:50:39,862 --> 01:50:41,793
Thank you, Mr. Luk.
1704
01:50:41,896 --> 01:50:43,275
What time is it?
1705
01:50:43,413 --> 01:50:45,068
Oh God! I'm late.
1706
01:50:45,206 --> 01:50:46,724
Late? For what?
1707
01:50:46,793 --> 01:50:48,896
Oh, I shouldn't have
to but I try to drive by
1708
01:50:48,965 --> 01:50:51,413
my daughter's
school at four o'clock.
1709
01:50:51,551 --> 01:50:54,034
My ex husband is supposed
to pick her up on Fridays
1710
01:50:54,103 --> 01:50:56,241
but he tends to forget.
1711
01:50:56,379 --> 01:50:58,965
Between that and everything else
that's going on right now...
1712
01:50:59,068 --> 01:51:01,310
God! My life!
1713
01:51:01,448 --> 01:51:03,137
What a mess!
1714
01:51:03,275 --> 01:51:05,068
Wait. Before you go.
1715
01:51:07,620 --> 01:51:09,000
Have a cookie...
117155
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