Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:17,042 --> 00:00:18,596
Mmm, gravy.
2
00:00:25,294 --> 00:00:28,105
Sorry, dear, I burnt the roast.
3
00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:30,814
Again?
4
00:00:30,966 --> 00:00:34,392
Relax, Judy. Let Duffman help.
5
00:00:36,487 --> 00:00:38,320
Ah. Forgiven.
6
00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:41,082
- Thank you, Duffman.
- You're welcome, Judy.
7
00:00:41,310 --> 00:00:43,896
Hey, you can do
at least one thing right.
8
00:00:45,814 --> 00:00:49,073
♪ Can't get enoughof that wonderful Duff. ♪
9
00:00:49,167 --> 00:00:52,738
♪ I'd like to pourthe world a beer ♪
10
00:00:52,762 --> 00:00:56,408
♪ And party heartily ♪
11
00:00:56,432 --> 00:01:00,176
♪ We'd like to makethat beer a Duff ♪
12
00:01:00,329 --> 00:01:02,996
♪ And drink till we can't see ♪
13
00:01:03,088 --> 00:01:05,774
♪ It's the beer thing. ♪
14
00:01:10,355 --> 00:01:11,498
Yikes.
15
00:01:11,522 --> 00:01:15,075
Let's turn this grunge
to fun-ge!
16
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:20,007
♪ 'Cause I'm wanted ♪
17
00:01:20,031 --> 00:01:22,009
♪ For fun in the first degree ♪
18
00:01:22,033 --> 00:01:23,941
♪ Wanted. ♪
19
00:01:24,034 --> 00:01:25,587
Ooh, yeah! Ha-ha!
20
00:01:25,611 --> 00:01:27,682
Those were the days, huh?
21
00:01:27,706 --> 00:01:29,683
Well, those days may have been
the days back then,
22
00:01:29,707 --> 00:01:32,450
but these days, the days
aren't those days anymore.
23
00:01:32,543 --> 00:01:35,021
And, gentlemen,
we can't be either.
24
00:01:36,365 --> 00:01:37,546
Go ahead and harrumph,
25
00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:40,049
but Duff needs a new message
and a new messenger,
26
00:01:40,144 --> 00:01:41,528
so get a harrumph of this.
27
00:01:41,552 --> 00:01:43,887
Attention, Duff Nation.
28
00:01:44,039 --> 00:01:45,980
We need you to choose
our new mascot
29
00:01:46,132 --> 00:01:47,632
by voting in our first ever
30
00:01:47,725 --> 00:01:48,557
Duff Election.
31
00:01:48,652 --> 00:01:49,799
The candidates are:
32
00:01:49,878 --> 00:01:52,132
Hops and Barley,
lady brewologists
33
00:01:52,156 --> 00:01:53,858
who don't even know
they're pretty.
34
00:01:53,882 --> 00:01:57,158
Woketopus, the most open-minded
mollusk on the block.
35
00:01:57,385 --> 00:01:58,826
Dame Helen Mirren.
36
00:01:58,903 --> 00:02:00,569
I'm sorry, what is this for?
37
00:02:00,647 --> 00:02:02,790
And I guess
we're open to keeping Duffman.
38
00:02:02,814 --> 00:02:05,575
Vote today. Democracy needs you,
39
00:02:05,727 --> 00:02:07,168
and so do we.
40
00:02:07,396 --> 00:02:10,747
This is our moment.
Duffman needs us, and so do we.
41
00:02:10,899 --> 00:02:12,231
They can't get rid of Duffman.
42
00:02:12,324 --> 00:02:14,395
What's next, tear down
the Oregon Trail?
43
00:02:14,419 --> 00:02:16,299
Disintegrate
the Lincoln Memorial?
44
00:02:16,405 --> 00:02:17,920
Impeach Santy Claus?
45
00:02:18,073 --> 00:02:20,112
I got a notebook
full of examples here.
46
00:02:20,165 --> 00:02:22,016
You said it. Duffman was there
47
00:02:22,243 --> 00:02:24,168
when I had my first beer at 13,
48
00:02:24,246 --> 00:02:25,670
and I want him to be there
49
00:02:25,837 --> 00:02:28,764
when I have my last beer at 54.
50
00:02:28,917 --> 00:02:32,175
Why is there a Duffman sticker
on my saxophone case?
51
00:02:32,270 --> 00:02:34,437
My music teacher thinks
I have a problem.
52
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:37,348
We all have a problem.
Duffman might lose.
53
00:02:37,442 --> 00:02:39,776
Everyone, everyone.
The latest numbers are in.
54
00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:43,015
Aw, man, he's tied for
last place with some loser named
55
00:02:43,039 --> 00:02:45,039
"No Mascot; Just Logo."
56
00:02:45,692 --> 00:02:46,707
Oh, no.
57
00:02:46,877 --> 00:02:49,953
Brandon, you're my agent.
Reassure Duffman.
58
00:02:50,046 --> 00:02:52,622
D-Man, chill.
You got this in the bag.
59
00:02:52,774 --> 00:02:53,864
Hold on one second.
60
00:02:53,959 --> 00:02:57,460
Woketopus, my cephalopod
from another mom bod.
61
00:02:57,611 --> 00:03:00,012
You're gonna mop the floor with
that hip-thrusting has-been.
62
00:03:00,038 --> 00:03:01,463
Still me, Brandon.
63
00:03:01,557 --> 00:03:02,890
You have a great day.
64
00:03:04,210 --> 00:03:07,062
Duffman needs to remind people
why they love Duffman.
65
00:03:07,212 --> 00:03:09,063
They love him.
66
00:03:09,215 --> 00:03:11,274
♪ Doo, bow, bow... ♪
67
00:03:12,902 --> 00:03:14,788
Dry T-shirts?
68
00:03:14,812 --> 00:03:17,239
Not on my watch, ladies.
69
00:03:19,150 --> 00:03:21,742
Get out of here!
70
00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:24,987
That was a blatant act
of tortious negligence.
71
00:03:25,139 --> 00:03:27,063
Tortious negligee.
72
00:03:27,233 --> 00:03:28,824
Oh, yeah. Ooh!
73
00:03:41,673 --> 00:03:43,150
Hey, hey!
74
00:03:47,771 --> 00:03:51,021
What is happening?
75
00:03:55,762 --> 00:03:58,665
Not mine. Not mine. Mine...
76
00:03:58,689 --> 00:04:00,282
No, not mine. Oh!
77
00:04:00,432 --> 00:04:02,783
I do think that this is me.
78
00:04:04,679 --> 00:04:07,122
Hey, Duffman. Rough week, brah.
79
00:04:07,348 --> 00:04:09,175
Getting your can crushed
in the polls,
80
00:04:09,199 --> 00:04:12,034
and now you're getting sued
by 37 lady lawyers.
81
00:04:12,187 --> 00:04:14,704
Duffman never meant
to hurt or demean
82
00:04:14,798 --> 00:04:16,276
any dames, broads, or chicks.
83
00:04:16,300 --> 00:04:19,042
Two thrusts for gender equality.
84
00:04:19,194 --> 00:04:21,274
- He's not sorry.
- He thinks we're idiots.
85
00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:22,949
Let's denounce him
at the Gal Dive.
86
00:04:22,973 --> 00:04:24,175
No, no, please, please.
87
00:04:24,199 --> 00:04:26,882
I can't be sexist because,
because...
88
00:04:27,035 --> 00:04:29,978
I'm... the father of a daughter.
89
00:04:30,204 --> 00:04:32,314
And as the father of a daughter,
90
00:04:32,540 --> 00:04:35,298
I could never, ever
disrespect women.
91
00:04:35,393 --> 00:04:36,393
Uh-uh.
92
00:04:36,545 --> 00:04:39,321
It seems like every famous man
93
00:04:39,471 --> 00:04:40,896
who gets himself in doo-doo
94
00:04:40,990 --> 00:04:42,617
brings up that
he has a daughter,
95
00:04:42,641 --> 00:04:45,308
and I think
that's doo-doo. I do.
96
00:04:45,403 --> 00:04:47,495
Father of a daughter.
97
00:04:47,646 --> 00:04:49,550
That's the lamest defense
in the world,
98
00:04:49,574 --> 00:04:53,000
but these days there's no way
anybody's gonna fall for it.
99
00:04:53,228 --> 00:04:54,651
He's got a daughter?
100
00:04:54,745 --> 00:04:57,245
- How bad can he be?
- What a role model.
101
00:04:57,341 --> 00:04:58,391
- What?
- Oh.
102
00:04:58,415 --> 00:05:00,841
Got a photo
of your little princess?
103
00:05:00,992 --> 00:05:04,086
Sure, sure,
I have a picture of her...
104
00:05:04,238 --> 00:05:06,514
right here.
105
00:05:06,665 --> 00:05:08,240
Wait, that's me.
106
00:05:08,334 --> 00:05:10,053
Lisa is Duffman's daughter?
107
00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:12,502
Marge, did you sleep
with Duffman?
108
00:05:12,672 --> 00:05:14,240
- No.
- Why not?
109
00:05:14,264 --> 00:05:15,689
He's lying.
110
00:05:15,766 --> 00:05:18,579
That photo must be from one
of those sleazy beer events
111
00:05:18,603 --> 00:05:21,086
you take the kids to,
even though you say you don't.
112
00:05:21,180 --> 00:05:23,416
Duffman's using me as a prop?
113
00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:26,201
You wish. His prop
is a Duff chick magnet.
114
00:05:26,351 --> 00:05:29,014
There's got to be
some explanation.
115
00:05:29,038 --> 00:05:32,615
The explanation is he's a jerk,
and I hope he loses.
116
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:36,096
Lisa, you wash
your mouth out with beer.
117
00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:38,858
I hope he loses, too.
Beer, please.
118
00:05:38,882 --> 00:05:41,790
Homer, you have to tell Duffman
that he's not allowed to use
119
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:45,105
our daughter as a "get out
of hot water free" card.
120
00:05:45,129 --> 00:05:46,778
Oh, can't I just talk to him
121
00:05:46,872 --> 00:05:49,391
at the next "Duff
Single Mom Twerk Olympics"?
122
00:05:49,542 --> 00:05:50,725
Now.
123
00:05:50,834 --> 00:05:53,435
I hope this is the right place.
124
00:05:55,047 --> 00:05:58,641
Um, hi. My name
is Homer Simpson.
125
00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:00,571
Duffman is off the clock
126
00:06:00,595 --> 00:06:02,629
and does not have time
for randos.
127
00:06:02,721 --> 00:06:04,384
Thanks a lot. Drink Duff.
128
00:06:04,408 --> 00:06:06,886
Hey, are you gonna slam the door
129
00:06:06,910 --> 00:06:09,059
on your own daughter?
130
00:06:09,153 --> 00:06:12,730
Oh, Duffman is busted. Oh, boy.
131
00:06:12,865 --> 00:06:15,302
You're a sexist and a phony.
132
00:06:15,326 --> 00:06:17,418
How can you live with yourself?
133
00:06:17,569 --> 00:06:20,146
All right, all right,
I'm sorry I fibbed.
134
00:06:20,238 --> 00:06:21,997
I panicked. I pulled up a pic
135
00:06:22,091 --> 00:06:24,978
from Dufftoberfest
from a few years ago.
136
00:06:25,002 --> 00:06:27,595
A few years ago
was the best one.
137
00:06:27,764 --> 00:06:29,079
What? Oh.
138
00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:31,841
Lisa's not your Lisa.
She's my Lisa,
139
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:33,319
so the next time
you're in trouble,
140
00:06:33,343 --> 00:06:35,920
use a picture
of some other guy's kid.
141
00:06:36,014 --> 00:06:37,271
Thanks, Dad.
142
00:06:41,593 --> 00:06:43,235
Sorry, I just...
143
00:06:44,262 --> 00:06:47,189
Oh, no.
144
00:06:47,341 --> 00:06:49,432
Are you okay, Mr. Duffman?
145
00:06:49,526 --> 00:06:52,435
I am not.
146
00:06:52,529 --> 00:06:54,956
The thing is, I really do have
a daughter, okay?
147
00:06:55,106 --> 00:06:56,918
Her name is Amber.
She's named after
148
00:06:56,942 --> 00:06:58,293
my favorite beverage color,
149
00:06:58,444 --> 00:07:00,778
but now she's 30 years old,
and she won't talk to me.
150
00:07:02,357 --> 00:07:04,276
Lisa, do you mind waiting
in the car for a moment?
151
00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:07,447
Daddy needs to be strong
for his famous friend.
152
00:07:07,471 --> 00:07:09,178
Of course.
153
00:07:10,473 --> 00:07:13,009
Can I get a selfie of me
with you in your bathrobe?
154
00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:16,697
Gah, your daughter is so bright
and confident.
155
00:07:16,721 --> 00:07:17,956
She is.
156
00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:20,701
So, you must've taught her
so much.
157
00:07:20,725 --> 00:07:22,391
I guess I did.
158
00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:25,728
You must be the greatest
girl dad i-in the world.
159
00:07:25,805 --> 00:07:27,374
I must be!
160
00:07:27,398 --> 00:07:29,209
Maybe it's not too late
for me, huh?
161
00:07:29,233 --> 00:07:31,211
Could you teach me
how to be a better...
162
00:07:31,235 --> 00:07:32,879
you know, girl dad?
163
00:07:32,903 --> 00:07:36,555
- I will!
- Duffman thanks you.
164
00:07:36,649 --> 00:07:38,649
And so do I. Come here.
165
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:53,680
Come on, Duffman. Don't worry
about losing your job.
166
00:07:53,832 --> 00:07:56,425
We need to focus on how
you lost your daughter.
167
00:07:56,519 --> 00:07:58,685
That's why I've assembled
this crack team
168
00:07:58,838 --> 00:08:00,500
of daughter dads
to help you out.
169
00:08:00,524 --> 00:08:03,415
I think you'll find
they're the finest men around.
170
00:08:03,509 --> 00:08:06,601
Welcome to P.F. Thong's.
You boys ready to order?
171
00:08:06,754 --> 00:08:10,605
I will have the Lettuce D-Cups,
um, with a chicken side piece.
172
00:08:10,759 --> 00:08:15,093
I will have the Wedgie Salad
and the Baby Got Back Ribs.
173
00:08:15,187 --> 00:08:17,855
Oh, and, uh, some Sprung Rolls
for the table.
174
00:08:17,949 --> 00:08:20,375
I don't have much
of an appetite.
175
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,262
See, I, well,
I haven't talked to my daughter
176
00:08:22,286 --> 00:08:24,194
in years, and, um...
177
00:08:24,288 --> 00:08:26,548
Say no more. I'll bring you
a Dead Beet Salad
178
00:08:26,716 --> 00:08:28,399
and a Coke Zero Contact.
179
00:08:29,778 --> 00:08:33,198
So, if your estranged daughter
writes an angry book about you,
180
00:08:33,222 --> 00:08:35,926
don't self-publish
your rebuttal book.
181
00:08:37,561 --> 00:08:39,779
Uh, thanks for all
the advice, fellas.
182
00:08:39,803 --> 00:08:41,136
Dad-vice.
183
00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:42,932
I-It's just,
I haven't talked to Amber
184
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:45,878
in over a decade. I-I don't
even know where to begin.
185
00:08:45,902 --> 00:08:47,981
You just got to show her
you still care.
186
00:08:48,071 --> 00:08:50,290
Pick up the damn phone.
Call her.
187
00:08:50,315 --> 00:08:53,283
Call her! Call her! Call her!
188
00:08:55,226 --> 00:08:57,653
Call her! Call her! Call her!
189
00:08:57,806 --> 00:08:59,225
I'm on the phone with her now.
190
00:08:59,249 --> 00:09:02,250
Ignore us. Ignore us. Ignore us.
191
00:09:02,476 --> 00:09:04,251
Amber, I was just wondering, um,
192
00:09:04,479 --> 00:09:07,163
could I maybe drive up there
to see you sometime?
193
00:09:07,256 --> 00:09:09,235
Uh, this weekend, maybe?
194
00:09:09,259 --> 00:09:11,644
She said, "I guess."
195
00:09:13,004 --> 00:09:14,836
No, not...
196
00:09:14,989 --> 00:09:16,149
Because what if I screw up?
197
00:09:16,173 --> 00:09:17,432
What if Amber hates me? I...
198
00:09:17,658 --> 00:09:19,561
I need you to come
with me, please.
199
00:09:19,585 --> 00:09:22,437
A road trip with Duffman.
Woo-hoo!
200
00:09:22,587 --> 00:09:24,513
You, me, and Lisa.
201
00:09:24,590 --> 00:09:28,162
Bonet? This trip just keeps
getting better.
202
00:09:28,186 --> 00:09:29,426
No, no, no, your Lisa.
203
00:09:29,504 --> 00:09:30,945
I need both my girl-dad guru
204
00:09:31,172 --> 00:09:33,673
and his dad-girl-daughter
for inspiration.
205
00:09:35,192 --> 00:09:38,193
Lisa! Lisa, you're coming
with me and Duffman
206
00:09:38,346 --> 00:09:39,953
on a road trip to Glendon Falls.
207
00:09:40,105 --> 00:09:41,197
What?
208
00:09:41,349 --> 00:09:43,515
- Why would I want to do that?
- Hmm.
209
00:09:43,609 --> 00:09:46,605
Marge, why would Lisa want to go
to Glendon Falls
210
00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:47,854
with me and Duffman?
211
00:09:49,298 --> 00:09:52,040
Well, that's near
the Agatha Christie Museum
212
00:09:52,134 --> 00:09:53,612
of Quirky Detectives.
213
00:09:53,636 --> 00:09:55,780
Lisa likes Agatha Christie?
214
00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:57,357
I love Agatha Christie,
215
00:09:57,381 --> 00:09:59,548
and that museum
is gonna be amazing.
216
00:09:59,701 --> 00:10:02,679
Ooh! Ah, I can't
believe you remembered.
217
00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:05,370
They're having a special exhibit
this weekend
218
00:10:05,464 --> 00:10:07,981
on her ten reddest herrings.
219
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:11,152
Thank you.
You're the best dad ever.
220
00:10:11,379 --> 00:10:13,654
Aw, you don't have to thank me.
221
00:10:13,806 --> 00:10:16,573
Do it later in front of Duffman.
222
00:10:18,476 --> 00:10:22,216
Man, I can't believe I'm on
a road trip with my hero.
223
00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:24,389
Wow, your little daughter's
your hero?
224
00:10:24,482 --> 00:10:26,149
That's so sweet.
225
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:29,077
And that's exactly
who I was referring to.
226
00:10:29,230 --> 00:10:31,746
Oh, hey, we should put on music
that Lisa likes, huh?
227
00:10:31,841 --> 00:10:33,749
Okay, Lisa likes jazz.
228
00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:35,062
That's a thing I know.
229
00:10:35,086 --> 00:10:37,494
Mm, I'm not in the mood
for jazz right now.
230
00:10:37,587 --> 00:10:39,754
Let's listen to
my second favorite.
231
00:10:39,908 --> 00:10:41,826
Salsa? Old-school rap?
232
00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:43,017
Traffic on the twos?
233
00:10:43,244 --> 00:10:44,851
I like K-pop, Dad.
234
00:10:45,004 --> 00:10:47,524
Wh... Oh, uh, of course.
I knew that.
235
00:10:47,548 --> 00:10:50,836
It's fun to pretend
that you're clueless.
236
00:10:50,860 --> 00:10:52,837
Beautiful.
237
00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:55,678
♪ We are the lovesick girls ♪
238
00:10:58,942 --> 00:11:00,086
Oh, yeah!
239
00:11:00,110 --> 00:11:03,453
♪ We are the lovesick girls. ♪
240
00:11:05,283 --> 00:11:08,524
Dad, I don't need you
to do that.
241
00:11:08,693 --> 00:11:11,028
They always try to be older
242
00:11:11,105 --> 00:11:12,714
than they are, don't they?
243
00:11:12,941 --> 00:11:14,215
Oh, man, such good fathering.
244
00:11:14,365 --> 00:11:16,458
Not like... Duffman.
245
00:11:18,370 --> 00:11:20,700
Would it help to talk
about Amber?
246
00:11:23,708 --> 00:11:25,967
She was the best thing
that ever happened to me.
247
00:11:26,136 --> 00:11:28,136
But then I became Duffman,
248
00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:29,767
and, well,
you know what they say,
249
00:11:29,791 --> 00:11:32,952
"With great pilsner
comes great infidelity."
250
00:11:32,976 --> 00:11:35,736
Her mom left me
when Amber was four.
251
00:11:37,072 --> 00:11:38,775
And by the end of high school,
Amber hated me.
252
00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:40,840
Said she never wanted
to talk to me again,
253
00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,190
and I guess I just believed her.
254
00:11:42,227 --> 00:11:44,298
Yes, believe women.
255
00:11:44,322 --> 00:11:47,490
No, she was a kid.
She didn't mean it.
256
00:11:47,584 --> 00:11:49,250
Yes, believe Lisa.
257
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:51,304
I think about her every day,
and I...
258
00:11:51,328 --> 00:11:53,629
I keep this drawing with me
wherever I go.
259
00:11:54,982 --> 00:11:56,809
Aw, you need to tell her
all of this.
260
00:11:56,834 --> 00:12:00,094
I bet she's been waiting for you
to reach out for years.
261
00:12:00,321 --> 00:12:02,822
Oh, Lisa, you are so sweet
262
00:12:02,914 --> 00:12:04,248
and so wise.
263
00:12:04,341 --> 00:12:06,674
Guh-reat job, Homer!
264
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:08,246
Homer, Homer!
265
00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:10,178
Guess what.
266
00:12:10,331 --> 00:12:12,250
They give you
a real tea set to drop
267
00:12:12,274 --> 00:12:15,091
when you walk in the drawing
room and find a dead body.
268
00:12:16,613 --> 00:12:18,671
Brandon, what is up?
269
00:12:18,764 --> 00:12:20,000
Seriously, like, uh, what's up?
270
00:12:20,024 --> 00:12:21,710
Not your election numbers,
Duff-bro.
271
00:12:21,734 --> 00:12:23,003
They're dismal.
272
00:12:23,027 --> 00:12:25,154
Look, you're near
the corporate mascot convention
273
00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:27,120
at the Conventions. Comventions
274
00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:28,437
convention center.
275
00:12:28,533 --> 00:12:30,865
It'd be a great chance
to drum up some support.
276
00:12:31,019 --> 00:12:32,586
He'll do it, Brandon.
277
00:12:32,610 --> 00:12:35,014
Duffman cannot lose
this election.
278
00:12:35,038 --> 00:12:36,705
But what about the museum?
279
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:38,851
There's plenty of time for both.
280
00:12:38,875 --> 00:12:41,177
That's a proud papa pledge.
281
00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:52,705
Hey-ya, Chief,
can I count on you for a...
282
00:12:52,798 --> 00:12:54,315
middle finger, okay.
283
00:12:54,466 --> 00:12:57,375
Ooh, I bet this guy's
a registered Duffocrat.
284
00:12:57,469 --> 00:13:00,153
Uh-oh, he flashed a gun.
My goodness.
285
00:13:00,230 --> 00:13:02,155
Anyone? Anyone want a selfie?
286
00:13:02,232 --> 00:13:04,826
We could use my phone.
I can Air...
287
00:13:04,976 --> 00:13:06,304
Drop it to you.
288
00:13:06,328 --> 00:13:07,956
In five minutes,
289
00:13:07,980 --> 00:13:10,739
join us in Ballroom C
for a panel discussion.
290
00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:12,649
The Charlie Tuna Conundrum...
291
00:13:12,743 --> 00:13:15,126
When the Mascot Is the Product.
292
00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:21,067
Attention, everyone,
293
00:13:21,159 --> 00:13:24,230
Duffman is sitting
all by himself in Hallway B.
294
00:13:24,254 --> 00:13:25,921
Please just go say hi to him.
295
00:13:26,073 --> 00:13:28,256
He really needs this. And, uh,
296
00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:29,995
don't listen to this
if you're him.
297
00:13:30,019 --> 00:13:32,572
Oh, my God.
298
00:13:32,596 --> 00:13:34,913
Can I get your autograph... pen?
299
00:13:35,082 --> 00:13:37,692
I got to get a signature
from the Mucinex loogie.
300
00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:40,443
He is so hot.
301
00:13:41,679 --> 00:13:43,938
Losing to a loogie.
302
00:13:45,850 --> 00:13:47,183
Dad, shouldn't we get going?
303
00:13:47,278 --> 00:13:49,095
The museum closes at 5:00.
304
00:13:49,187 --> 00:13:51,850
Don't worry, sweetie,
I'm keeping an eye on the time.
305
00:13:51,875 --> 00:13:53,374
It's only 2:30.
306
00:13:55,711 --> 00:13:57,523
That's not a real clock!
307
00:13:57,547 --> 00:14:01,173
That's the mascot
for Tea Time Tamales.
308
00:14:02,125 --> 00:14:04,384
Oh, my God, no.
309
00:14:06,780 --> 00:14:09,038
Wait! Wait!
310
00:14:09,207 --> 00:14:10,777
No, don't close!
311
00:14:10,801 --> 00:14:12,278
You can't close yet.
312
00:14:12,302 --> 00:14:14,895
Mm, sorry, kid, we're shutting
down for three months
313
00:14:15,123 --> 00:14:16,639
to build a new attraction.
314
00:14:16,791 --> 00:14:18,451
Aw, nuts.
315
00:14:18,475 --> 00:14:21,402
You got to stay open.
We drove all this way,
316
00:14:21,552 --> 00:14:23,645
and I'm a second grader
who solves murders
317
00:14:23,740 --> 00:14:25,216
on a sixth-grade level.
318
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:26,552
Well, look who I brought.
319
00:14:26,576 --> 00:14:29,721
I can unlock a lot of things
for Duffman,
320
00:14:29,745 --> 00:14:31,537
but not this museum.
321
00:14:39,404 --> 00:14:41,923
Well, this calls
for some expert dadding.
322
00:14:42,073 --> 00:14:44,149
Lisa, honey,
tell Daddy what's wrong.
323
00:14:44,243 --> 00:14:45,834
This is all your fault.
324
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:47,648
That's right.
325
00:14:47,672 --> 00:14:49,837
- Let it out.
- Okay,
326
00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:51,264
I am tired of you pretending
327
00:14:51,417 --> 00:14:54,100
that you're some sort of
ideal dad when this whole trip
328
00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:57,663
you've been kissing
Duffman's cans.
329
00:14:57,755 --> 00:14:59,999
See, I knew you
wouldn't have any fun.
330
00:15:00,091 --> 00:15:02,308
That's why I didn't think
you should come. Eh...
331
00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:03,535
Uh-oh.
332
00:15:03,671 --> 00:15:06,832
You didn't even want
to bring me.
333
00:15:06,856 --> 00:15:08,282
You were just using me
334
00:15:08,509 --> 00:15:11,337
as some kind of girl-dad prop,
335
00:15:11,361 --> 00:15:13,506
just like Duffman did.
336
00:15:13,530 --> 00:15:15,029
Don't ever
337
00:15:15,124 --> 00:15:16,698
talk to me
338
00:15:16,850 --> 00:15:18,167
again.
339
00:15:22,298 --> 00:15:24,780
She'll get over this, right?
340
00:15:24,875 --> 00:15:26,634
Mine did not.
341
00:15:26,784 --> 00:15:29,345
Oh...
342
00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:31,783
Ready, handsome?
343
00:15:31,807 --> 00:15:33,640
You're leaving?
344
00:15:33,792 --> 00:15:36,143
Duffman just realized that you
345
00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:39,629
are not a good dad. Uh-uh.
346
00:15:39,724 --> 00:15:42,890
I'm all yours... Renata.
347
00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:43,966
Fun name.
348
00:15:44,061 --> 00:15:45,740
Renata.
349
00:15:47,063 --> 00:15:48,322
Oh...
350
00:15:54,330 --> 00:15:55,807
So...
351
00:15:55,831 --> 00:15:57,414
what you reading there?
352
00:15:59,359 --> 00:16:01,393
Come on,
you got to say something.
353
00:16:01,562 --> 00:16:02,981
Something.
354
00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:05,484
Ooh, I can't handle
the silent treatment.
355
00:16:05,508 --> 00:16:07,376
Don't leave me alone
with my brain.
356
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,677
- I remember this one time...
- Eyes on the road!
357
00:16:12,682 --> 00:16:16,258
Oh, Duffman left Amber's drawing
in the car.
358
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:17,830
It's really a shame about them.
359
00:16:17,854 --> 00:16:20,520
It is. He really does
love her, you know.
360
00:16:20,748 --> 00:16:23,356
Maybe, but Duffman should've
spent more time listening
361
00:16:23,509 --> 00:16:27,080
to Amber instead of thinking
only about himself.
362
00:16:27,104 --> 00:16:29,416
Well, maybe sometimes
Duffman's scared to listen
363
00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:32,700
because he'll hear about all
the dumb stuff he screwed up.
364
00:16:32,927 --> 00:16:35,014
Sure, but maybe
he should be brave enough
365
00:16:35,038 --> 00:16:37,015
to admit he's not perfect.
366
00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:39,932
Not even close to perfect.
367
00:16:40,024 --> 00:16:41,519
Oh...
368
00:16:41,543 --> 00:16:43,692
I think we should
take this to them.
369
00:16:43,788 --> 00:16:47,548
Yeah. I hope they work
things out before it's too late.
370
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:50,884
Me, too, Dad.
That would be really great.
371
00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:58,202
Good luck, buddy.
I'm rooting for you.
372
00:16:58,226 --> 00:17:00,210
Thank you, Evan, and good luck
373
00:17:00,288 --> 00:17:02,437
with your MFA. Oh, yeah.
374
00:17:08,386 --> 00:17:10,738
Okay, here we go.
Time to prove to your daughter
375
00:17:10,888 --> 00:17:12,458
that you've changed.
376
00:17:12,482 --> 00:17:13,482
Ah. Damn.
377
00:17:13,634 --> 00:17:14,868
A little help, bro?
378
00:17:14,893 --> 00:17:16,911
Dude, it's Duffman.
379
00:17:17,061 --> 00:17:18,746
Join our rager!
380
00:17:18,896 --> 00:17:20,466
Oh, yeah.
381
00:17:20,490 --> 00:17:23,084
I mean, no, no.
Not who I am anymore.
382
00:17:25,980 --> 00:17:27,980
Okay.
383
00:17:29,983 --> 00:17:32,075
I can't believe you're here
384
00:17:32,169 --> 00:17:34,409
because I don't know you,
and I did not invite you.
385
00:17:34,488 --> 00:17:36,931
Oh, what an odd thing to say.
386
00:17:37,082 --> 00:17:39,325
Hi, I'm Homer, and this is Lisa.
387
00:17:39,417 --> 00:17:41,304
We have something
to give to your dad.
388
00:17:41,328 --> 00:17:43,081
Yeah, well, I can't help you.
389
00:17:43,105 --> 00:17:44,680
He never showed.
390
00:17:44,773 --> 00:17:47,251
I don't get it.
391
00:17:47,276 --> 00:17:49,518
If I know Duffman,
and I briefly did,
392
00:17:49,670 --> 00:17:52,423
nothing was more important
to him than seeing you.
393
00:17:52,448 --> 00:17:53,855
He was so excited.
394
00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:57,526
Really? As excited as he was
to miss every dance recital,
395
00:17:57,677 --> 00:18:00,695
every graduation,
every art show?
396
00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:02,508
No. More.
397
00:18:02,532 --> 00:18:04,418
Your dad taught me
the importance
398
00:18:04,442 --> 00:18:06,868
of not taking my daughter's
love for granted.
399
00:18:06,962 --> 00:18:08,628
Duffman's really changed.
400
00:18:08,779 --> 00:18:10,355
Trust me, when you see him next,
401
00:18:10,415 --> 00:18:12,781
you'll be amazed
at how enlightened
402
00:18:12,876 --> 00:18:15,113
and sensitive he's become.
403
00:18:15,137 --> 00:18:17,340
Chicken fight!
404
00:18:17,365 --> 00:18:18,972
♪ Doo, bow, bow... ♪
405
00:18:19,124 --> 00:18:20,789
Come on, friend!
406
00:18:20,959 --> 00:18:23,287
What the crap?
407
00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:25,511
No, Amber, I was just about
to knock on your door.
408
00:18:25,556 --> 00:18:26,635
You have to believe me.
409
00:18:26,707 --> 00:18:29,034
It's true.
This whole chicken fight,
410
00:18:29,058 --> 00:18:30,853
it felt like
he was somewhere else.
411
00:18:30,877 --> 00:18:33,820
I'm sorry, Colleen, but if this
teaches you anything,
412
00:18:33,971 --> 00:18:36,990
it's that you should work on
your relationship with your dad.
413
00:18:37,218 --> 00:18:39,734
I have a great
relationship with my dad.
414
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:42,738
I just also like bikinis
and parties, you jerk.
415
00:18:42,814 --> 00:18:44,330
Duffman respects your journey.
416
00:18:44,482 --> 00:18:46,416
Amber? Amber!
417
00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:49,560
Amber!
418
00:18:49,654 --> 00:18:50,837
Ah, Amber...
419
00:18:51,007 --> 00:18:53,151
Hey, uh, pal...
Whoa, that's Duffman!
420
00:18:53,175 --> 00:18:55,659
Amber, look out!
421
00:19:01,592 --> 00:19:03,517
You saved me...
422
00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:05,269
Dad.
423
00:19:08,507 --> 00:19:11,025
So, the chick magnet
is also a daughter magnet,
424
00:19:11,175 --> 00:19:12,526
I get it now.
425
00:19:12,678 --> 00:19:15,345
All chicks
are somebody's daughter.
426
00:19:15,439 --> 00:19:18,272
- No. Uh-uh.
- Yeah, try again.
427
00:19:18,425 --> 00:19:20,701
Some chicks are guys,
and that's okay.
428
00:19:20,852 --> 00:19:22,109
Mm... Mm-mm.
429
00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:24,096
- Hmm.
- It-It's okay, Dad.
430
00:19:24,265 --> 00:19:26,280
B-Baby steps, I guess.
431
00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:29,201
Give her this now.
432
00:19:30,194 --> 00:19:32,378
No way. I haven't
seen this in ages.
433
00:19:32,455 --> 00:19:34,288
I look at it every single day.
434
00:19:34,442 --> 00:19:38,029
I miss you so much, and
I should've been there for you.
435
00:19:38,054 --> 00:19:41,055
Dad, I'm so glad
you're back in my life,
436
00:19:41,205 --> 00:19:43,183
and I really hope that...
437
00:19:43,208 --> 00:19:44,874
Ugh, seriously?
438
00:19:44,969 --> 00:19:46,779
Duffman, amazing news.
439
00:19:46,804 --> 00:19:48,895
- You won the election.
- Oh, yeah?
440
00:19:49,047 --> 00:19:50,208
Oh, yeah.
441
00:19:50,232 --> 00:19:52,210
Some kid posted video
of you singing K-pop,
442
00:19:52,234 --> 00:19:54,937
and their fan army voted
for you en freakin' masse.
443
00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:56,455
I need you on
the next plane to Korea.
444
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:59,480
Kim Jong-un wants to kidnap you
and make a movie together.
445
00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:00,982
Oh, yeah!
446
00:20:03,729 --> 00:20:05,988
Aw, you know what?
I think I have had enough
447
00:20:06,140 --> 00:20:07,558
of that wonderful Duff.
448
00:20:07,583 --> 00:20:10,491
What? You'll never work in
the adult beverage game again.
449
00:20:10,644 --> 00:20:14,380
No beer, no hard seltzer,
no kombucha.
450
00:20:15,906 --> 00:20:17,374
Duff Nation, Duffman is here
451
00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:20,318
to get you wrecked
in a whole new way as...
452
00:20:20,412 --> 00:20:22,653
Puffman.
453
00:20:22,748 --> 00:20:25,324
Come check out my daughter's
brand-new weed store
454
00:20:25,416 --> 00:20:27,745
featuring her custom-made,
one of a kind,
455
00:20:27,769 --> 00:20:29,435
glass bongs.
456
00:20:30,998 --> 00:20:33,826
Oh, yeah. If any of my other
estranged daughters
457
00:20:33,851 --> 00:20:35,753
are watching, hit me up.
458
00:20:35,778 --> 00:20:37,352
Wait, your what?
459
00:20:37,505 --> 00:20:39,090
I mean... Oh, yeah!
460
00:20:39,115 --> 00:20:40,332
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
461
00:20:40,356 --> 00:20:41,592
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
462
00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:43,174
and TOYOTA.
463
00:20:43,268 --> 00:20:46,268
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
464
00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:51,959
Your tea service,
Lord Thistlewink.
465
00:21:30,648 --> 00:21:32,624
Shh!
33260
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese