Original subtitles

When My Beloved Bruce Banner

Went Toe-To-Toe With An Exploding Gamma Reactor, He Lost

2 Hulks Were Born,

One Gray, One Green,

But Only The More Savage Green Hulk Emerged.

And His Cousin Jennifer, Seriously Wounded,

This Shy Lawyer Received

A Hot-Blooded Transfusion Of The Gamma Kind And Blossomed.

We're Talking Tall, Lean, And Evergreen.

Bruce Hated Smashing And Bashing As The Hulk,

So Doc Samson And I Used The Experimental Nutrient Bath

To Physically Separate Them,

But One Could Not Live Without The Other,

So Back In The Tank They Went.

We Set It On Blend, But An Unforeseen Ingredient

Landed In The Soup-- Rick Jones,

Fresh From A Bout With My Hulk-Obsessed Father.

It Was Recipe For Disaster.

Rick Soaked Up Enough Gamma Juice

To Mutate Into A Beast Of His Own,

But One Look At My Recovered Bruce

Sent This Teenage Hulk Fleeing Into The Desert Night,

Bruce Quickly Following. By The Time I Caught Up,

I Found Bruce Going Through His Own Transformation.

Our Failed Experiment Had Unleashed The Dormant Unpredictable Gray Hulk.

As If Dear Old Dad Needed To Cap Off A Generally Destructive Night,

He Went Out Hulk Hunting On His Own With An Omega Laser,

And This Is What He Found.

Rrraah!

This Your Idea Of A Joke?

Heh. You're Impressed.

I Can Tell.

What Are You?

Check This Carved Granite.

Banner...

Is That You?

Oh, Yeah, That's Me,

Big, Bad, Boring Banner.

[Overdramatic] Betty!

Rick!

Gimme A Break.

Well, Whatever Stirred-Up Concoction You Are Now,

Thanks For Saving Me The Trouble Of Hunting You Down.

Ooh!

Now To Finally Finish It.

Aah!

d Hulk d

d Hulk d

d Incredible Hulk d

d Hulk d

d Hulk, Incredible Hulk d

d Hulk d

d Incredible Hulk d

d Hulk d

Oh, No.

Ah, Ah, What-- What's Happening?

What Have I Done?!

Aw, Man.

Unh.

What's This?

I Will Not Give In To You, Banner!

Aah! Hunh!

This...

Really...

Stinks.

[Groans]

[Panting]

Freeze!

Freeze, Banner!

[Babbles]

What's Going On?

I--I--I Don't...

He's Still Alive.

Call For A Medevac.

Bruce Banner,

I'm Placing You Under Arrest

For The Attempted Murder Of General Ross.

Radio: And To Recap Our Top Story,

Famed Gamma-Energy Pioneer Bruce Banner Is In Custody Today

For The Attempted Murder Of General Thaddeus Ross.

Uh-Oh. Time For This Legal-Eagle To Fly.

Leader: Gargoyle!

It's Getting Worse.

Ohh. W-Why Is This Still Happening To Me?

That Last Gamma-Strength Transfer

Must Have Caused An Irreversible Decline,

My Unfortunate Leader.

I Feel My Brilliance Fading,

My Psyche Shrinking,

My Stupendous...

Uh, Stupendous, Uh...

Cerebellum?

Exactly.

Gone!

Look At Me.

I Have To Use My Fingers For Quadratic Equations.

W-What Have You Been Doing About It?

Never Fear...

For I Have Already Initiated An Ingenious Solution.

A Suitable Mutant Specimen Now Roams The Desert.

Heh Heh.

Rraarr!

A Perfect Candidate For The Transfusion

Of His Gamma Power Into You--Rick Jones.

[Chuckles]

And He Is Within Our Grasp.

[Panting]

And So Ends Your Ingenious Solution.

You Miserable Troll!

Can't You Do Anything Right?

Gaah!

Mwaah!

Ooh!

[Chuckles]

[Panting]

There's Only One Person

Who Can Convince Rick Jones To Come In From The Desert--

Bruce Banner.

[Chuckles]

Excellent Idea...

For A Pitiful Half-Wit,

But There's A New Chain Of Command Now, Sterns.

I Postulate The Brilliant Plans.

Here! You Clean Up That Lab.

So Says The Gargoyle!

Ecch.

That Sounds As Stupid Coming From Me

As It Did From The Leader.

Oh, Dad, I Wish You Could Tell Me

What Really Happened Out There.

I Just Can't Believe Bruce Would Hurt You.

Judge: Well, Dr. Banner,

Are You Represented By Counsel Or Not?

I--I Can't Imagine Where She Is, Your Honor. I--

Jennifer Walters For The Defense, Your Honor.

But You Can Call Me The She-Hulk.

Uh, Please Take Your Seat, Ms. Hulk--

Um, She-Walters--

Uh, Ms. Walters.

Where Were You?

Sorting Through The Lastest Findings.

This Court Is Now In Session,

Or Should I Say "This Circus"?

Gargoyle: If This Works,

And We Do Restore You To Your Gamma Greatness,

You Will What?

Go On. I Want To Hear You Say It.

I Will Then Use My Superior Intellect

To Find A Way Of Curing You

Of Your Pitiful Ugliness!

Uuh! What?!

Uh, I Mean Your, Uh, Radiation Disfigurement.

Ah Heh Heh Heh.

So It Is Said,

So It Is Written,

And So Says The Gar--

The Gar--

Ah, Forget It.

Why Are Good Signature Lines So Hard To Come By?

Question:

How'd I Get So Vogue In Hunter Green, Huh,

Not To Mention Strong?

Put The Stenographer Down, Ms. Walters.

Let Me Leak The Secret To You.

The Defendant, My Sweet Cousin Brucie,

Saved My Life With A Gamma-Packed Blood Transfusion.

You Heard Right.

"Gamma-Packed."

'Cause He's Not Just A Man,

He's The Man.

He's The Incredible Hulk.

[All Gasping]

Order. Order!

Jennifer, What Are You Doing?

Playing The Cards We Got, Cuz.

That's Right, And It Was The Hulk

Who Went Slam-Dancing With The General

On The Night In Question,

Not Bruce Banner.

[Whispering] We've Got A Live Feed Now.

Are You Sure?

Your Honor, May I Then Ask Counsel

To Explain This?

Bruce Banner Could Not Possibly Be The Incredible Hulk,

Because...

There Is The Hulk, Ladies And Gentlemen,

Wandering The Desert As We Speak.

[All Gasping]

Rick.

Objection, Your Honor.

I Object.

Overruled.

Bruce Banner Is No More The Hulk Than You Or I.

He Is Clearly Guilty As Charged.

But That--That's Not--

[Crowd Yelling]

Get Everyone Out!

Betty!

[Strains]

[Chuckles]

Ohh.

You Dropped Him!

No Wonder We Have To Restore Your Gamma Powers.

As A Sidekick, You're Pathetic.

Uhh. Hang On.

This Is What We Call A Situation Green.

Eyaah!

Huh?

Oh.

[Chuckling]

Oh. Hmm.

[Strains]

Hulk.

I Can't...

Keep--Uhh...

Him In.

Ahh.

Uhh.

[Grunting]

No!

My Condition Is Worse Than I Thought.

I--I--I'm Color-Blind.

Nooo!

Yes!

Yes!

A Gray Hulk?

Now There's A Shade I Can Relate To.

Uh-Oh. Tensile Strength On The Claw

Is Reaching Maximum Pressure.

It's Holding Him.

I'm Back!

Ooh...

And I Stuck That Landing Good.

Heh. Now, Let's See Who Ticked Off The Doc

Bad Enough To Uncork Yours Truly.

Pounded And Grounded.

Time For Some Gray-Matter Mashing.

Nnn! Release Me!

Hmm, Check This.

A Talking Toad.

Wait!

Yes, Wait!

What Are You, A Henchman Lite?

Wait Your Turn. I'll Pulp You In A Second.

Uh, Please. We Wish To Make You A Proposal.

You Ain't My Type.

We--We Can Get Rid Of Bruce Banner For You...

Forever.

Lose Banner?

A Simple Procedure,

Once I Am Restored As The Leader.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I Could Definitely Appreciate A Little Downtime

Without Having To Worry About Deteriorating Into That Goofball Geek.

And In Exchange, You Go Into The Desert,

Find That Mutant Juvenile Jones,

And Bring Him To Us.

So Says The--

Eeeyaah! Ohh!

You Two Lay One Heinous Finger On My Cousin Brucie,

And You'll Have To Answer To The She-Hulk.

You Said "She-Hulk."

We Related?

Cousins. Though I Must Say This Is A New Look For Bruce.

Color's Good, But The 'Tude Is Wearing A Little Thin.

Yeah? Well, Get Used To It, Sweet Pea.

Banner's Bought His Last Pair Of Purple Trousers.

I'm Taking Over,

And You're Getting Lost.

You Lumbering Lump Of Charcoal.

See You At The Family Reunion!

We're Not Finished!

Computer, Display Selected Satellite Photo.

Magnify This Quadrant.

Hmm.

Adjust To Daylight Illumination And Regulate Distortion.

Slow Advance.

Yes.

I Knew It.

Bruce Is Innocent.

Ha.

Well, If Those Sconeheads Think They Ditched The She-Hulk,

They Misjudged The Brains Behind This Beauty.

One Homing Device Still Functional,

And That's My Map To Gamma Goon Central.

Rrr.

Raah!

Whoa, Friend.

You And Me, We Gotta Stick Together, Right?

No One Cares About Us,

'Cause We're Monsters,

But I'll Watch Your Back.

All You Gotta Do Is Trust Me.

Do You Trust Me?

[Chuckles]

You'll Never Make It As A Hulk, Kid.

Nnn!

You're Way Too Trusting.

Gamma Transfer Unit On-Line.

Sponging Off This Kid's Energy

Ain't Gonna Hurt Him, Is It?

[Chuckles]

Oh, He'll Be Hurting, But He'll Survive--

A Small Price To Pay For Our Happiness.

[Groans]

Oh, Yes.

Yes!

My Glorious Gamma Genius Has Been Restored.

Yeah, Cool If You Like It, Bud, But To Me,

You Look Like An Unwashed Asparagus.

So You Got Yours. Now Give Me Mine.

Yank This Banner Bum Outta My Buff, Gray Bod.

Oh, Certainly.

Just Lean Back, Relax,

And Leave The Siphoning To Us.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm Feeling It.

He's Fighting Inside Of Me.

Uhh! Aah.

Hey, This Don't Feel Right.

I'm Losing Some Strength Here.

You...

You Set Me Up!

You Expected Less?

Gargoyle, Drain Him Of His Gamma Power

Until Nothing Remains But A Tiny, Quivering Gray Worm.

Yaarr!

The Green Hulk's Gamma Power Was Simply Too Primal

For My Complex Intellect.

You, However, Are A Less Savage Brute

And A Perfect Donor.

Rrr. Let Me Redefine "Savage" For You.

She-Hulk: Uhh!

Uhh-Yuhh!

Hah!

Uhh!

When This Is Over,

I Expect Some Major-League Groveling From You, Hulkster.

You Got It,

Soon As I Wad That Popcorn-Head Into A Hacky Sack.

Nrrr!

Gamma Warriors, Attack!

Hrr!

Unh! Aah!

Trick Or Treat, Smell My Feet.

Uhh!

These Gamma Legs Just Can't Be Beat.

Uhh!

The Kid!

Hi-Yaah!

Long Time No See.

Nice To Know You Got Past That Mutant Phase You Were In.

And Nice To See You Didn't.

Sit Tight, Handsome.

I'm In The Groove And Doing Some Damage.

Feel Free To Take Notes.

Green Ain't My Favorite Color.

That Cousin Of Mine Is Wearing In Well.

I Don't Particularly Care

For The Way This Conflict Is Shaping Up.

You Backstabbing Bulb-Brain.

I'm Gonna Waste This Place.

I'm Gonna Trash,

Gonna Bash,

Gonna Smash.

Uh-Oh. Time To Bail.

But What About Him?

Raah!

She-Hulk: I'd Say He Just Reached Critical Mass.

You Don't Have To Be A Genius To See Where This Is Going.

Raaahh!

[Growling]

Now Hulk Mad!

We Had A Chance Against That Gray Fiend

But Not The Green One!

Regardless, I Am Holding You To Our Agreement.

Oh, By All Means, Do Try.

She-Hulk: Cool. The Green One's Still Around.

I Like Him.

Betty: As You Can See,

My Father Brought It On Himself.

Hmm. Hardly A New Concept With Him.

Convincing Evidence, Ms. Ross,

Though I'm Confused As To Where Dr. Banner Is.

Oh, He's, Um, Uh, In There Somewhere.

I'll Have The Charges Dropped Immediately.

Yo, Cuz, Enough Of The Violins.

All Charges Are Dropped,

So Get Your Exonerated Butt

In This Plush Leather Interior,

And Let's Go Rip Some Highway.

Well, You Sure Are A Cure For The Blues,

But I Need One For The Grays And The Greens,

If You Know What I Mean.

Hey, If There's A Remedy Out There,

We'll Skulk It Out Together,

But No Messing With My Gamma Genes, Capish?

Yeah. Well, We'll See.

Now, How About Stopping At Some Men's Store?

I'm Kind Of In Need Of Some New Clothes.

Heh. Understatement, Brucie.

That Tortured, Brooding Look

Is Totally Carbon-Dated.

Seat Belt's On?

Let's Blow!

Yee-Hah!