All language subtitles for The Sex Lives of College Girls Season 2 Episode 5

- ♪ Monsters never sleep
we driven like a villain ♪

♪ They be countin' sheep, I'm
the GOAT keep it chillin' ♪

♪ G-O-A-T
not D.O.A., please ♪

♪ Your B.O. way stinks
you know me ♪

♪ You know me
I'ma put the fire ♪

♪ On the gasoline ♪
- [screams]

I just got amazing news.

Theta's charter officially
got reinstated,

which means they can
finally throw parties again.

- Yes!
- Oh, hell yes!

- Oh, my God.
- Obviously, we have to

make up for lost time,
go to all of them,

and look super slutty.

- The names of these parties
are insane.

Threesome Thursday,
Fuck Me Friday,

and Sit On My Face Saturday.

They are gonna get kicked
off this campus again so fast.

- We better party while we can.

[laughter]

- This is gonna be
a really exciting week.

Especially because
of this little guy.

- Um, everyone sees Kimberly's
holding a needle, right?

- These are my hormone
injections.

They coach my body
into making tons of eggs.

- Do they make
your boobs bigger?

If so, can I have three?
- No.

But the side effects
aren't bad.

The only bummer
is that I can't drink.

- But it's Theta's party week.

You'll be a sober dud.

- You don't have to drink
to have fun.

Who has to drink to have fun?

- I do.
- Everyone in college.

- I'm tipsy right now.

- Well, can one of you help me
with the first injection?

I don't like watching things
go under my skin.

- Yeah, I'll do it.
But, uh,

what happens
if I hit your bones?

Where--where are your bones?

Sorry, I--I can't do it.

I'm in my head about the bones.

- Oh, my God.

Just give it to me, please.

Ohh.

Wow, she's really doing it.

- Ow, my bone!
- Ahh!

[phone clatters]

- Just kidding.
[laughs]

See, I am fun
when I'm sober.

- ♪ Night's young slick
now we bout pull slime ♪

♪ Link up and drink
we only into good wine ♪

♪ Been bad been bad
now get raunchy ♪

♪ Been bad, been bad
know you want me ♪

- Hey, Whit, I forgot
to do Biochem again.

Can I say it's 'cause
your grandma died?

I already used up all mine.

- No. That's horrible.

Plus, I might need a grandma
to kill during midterms.

- [gasps] Oh, shit, guys.
Jackson's running towards us.

What do I do?
What should I say?

- Um, well, he straight up

called you sexy
at the KJ house.

Say something hot.
- Okay.

- You got it.

- Ow, ow!
Big boy runs fast!

- What did you say?

- I said,
big boy runs fast.

- Right.

Bye.

- You had a second chance,
and you said that shit again?

- Yeah, yeah, you're ruining
this for us.

- Us?
- Yes, us.

Our suite is like a friggin'
sexual black hole.

Leighton got chlamydia,
I'm banging Where's Waldo,

and Whitney just got dumped.

We need this.
- Okay.

Yeah, okay.
It's true, I got dumped.

But, guys, I'm over Canaan.

Actually, I already have my eye
on someone

I'm excited
to get to know better.

- Yes! Now we're talkin'.
Who is it?

- Her name is Whitney.
It's me.

I'm excited to love myself.

- Aw, that's beautiful.
- I hated that.

- Uh-oh, he's running back
again.

I'm gonna go duck
into a building.

- Smart.

- What should I wear
to the Theta tonight,

outfit one...
[clicks tongue]

Or option two?

- Are these children's clothes?
- Yeah.

Nothing makes your titties pop
like a toddler top.

- Does that say
"Daddy's Little Quarterback"?

- I know. I love it.

I just wish they had one
in my size.

- None of these
are in your size.

- Here you go.

I got a D? But I studied
for, like, 15 minutes.

- Holy crap.
I got my first A.

Oh, I am so texting this
to my mom.

[camera shutter clicks]
Gonna rub it in her face

for doubting me.
- [laughs]

Wait, that's not your test.

- Moriah Harris?

Who's that?

Uh, excuse me, Paul?

Sorry, I think you gave me
the wrong test.

- I'm so sorry.
Must've mixed you two up.

My B.

[whispers]
Great job.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Who mixes up the names
Whitney and Moriah?

I know they're both legendary
pop divas,

but the similarity ends there,
bro.

- Who are you guys
talking about?

- Our Biochem TA mixed me up

with the only other Black girl
in our class.

- First of all, are you okay?

And it's important
that you know this--

you don't have to be.

- Okay. It's annoying, yeah,

but I don't wanna
make it a whole thing.

- Well, if that's your choice,
I fully support you.

But I also think
we can organize a rally.

- Why don't you just
mention it to him next class?

- No, if I did that,
it'd probably get all twisted,

and I'd become
the angry Black girl.

- Oh! What if you--
- Guys, okay,

we don't have to solve
subtle racism tonight.

Okay?
Let's just have fun.

If we can ever get inside!

- I got this.

Hey, door guy!

Hell yeah!
Toddler tops.

- It is very upsetting
that that worked.

- Yeah.

[Matt Sofo's "Run the Track"
featuring Coco]

♪ ♪

- Leight, don't answer this
if this is homophobic--

- Not off to a great start.
- Uh, of the three of us,

who are you most attracted to?

- Oh, my--
- Are you seriously

asking her to rank us?

- Not in a bad way.

Just in terms
of physical hotness.

- This is ridiculous.

- Thank you, Whit.
- Because obviously,

I'd be number one.
- Ha!

- What's so funny?
- [laughs] Nothing.

- I think she's laughing
at your overconfidence.

Leighton is way more into

my brand
of understated elegance.

- [laughs]
- Damn it,

I spilled tequila
on my children's shirt.

- Okay, I am not engaging
in this.

That said,
Bela would not be first.

Or second.
- [gasps] I'm top two!

- Yeah, but I put out

Does that not factor in at all?

- Look, no offense,
but none of you

are really my type.
- What is your type?

- My perfect woman
would probably be 5'6",

good style, preferably
from a major metropolitan city,

blonde--

- I think you just
described yourself.

- Mm, I did. I would be happy
with a me.

- So of all the girls
in this suite,

you rank yourself first?

- Oh, absolutely.

- Well, okay, then.

- You know, I would too.

She didn't hear me.

- ♪ Put them hands high ♪

♪ Put them hands high ♪

♪ Put them hands high ♪

- Hey.
- ♪ Put them hands high ♪

♪ Walk on the dance floor ♪

- [clears throat]

- ♪ When I'm feelin' on her ♪

♪ Like the she the best
in show ♪

♪ Scream at the DJ
till I get me some ho ♪

- Eric, what are you
doing here?

Did a frat guy hire you to fix
his computer or something?

- Bela, for the last time, I am
not a member of the Geek Squad.

- Here you go.
- Oh, thanks.

Uh, Bela, this is Dana.

- How do you guys
know each other?

She your cousin or something?

- She's my date.

- And I'm a new writer
on "The Catullan."

- Oh, really?

So you're funny and pretty.

Love that for you.

- Please, you are way prettier
than me.

I look like I was just
rescued from a well.

[laughing]

- Oof, um, that was actually
pretty insensitive

to people who have lost family
members in well accidents.

- ♪ Put them hands high ♪

♪ Put them hands high ♪

- ♪ Let the world know
what you all about ♪

♪ ♪

I cannot believe Eric brought
another girl here.

- I can't believe
he knows another girl.

- Be honest, I'm hotter
than her, right?

Actually, don't be honest.
Just say yes.

- Are you jealous?
I thought you and Eric

were both hooking up
with other people.

- Yeah, but when I do it

it's fun and flirty
and feminist.

When he does it, it's offensive
to women everywhere.

- ♪ Put them hands high ♪

[phone buzzing]

♪ Put them hands high ♪

♪ Put them hands ♪

- Kimberly, are you in there?

- Leighton, come in.

- Did you have an accident?

- No! I have to do

my hormone injections
at the same time every day,

and in hindsight, I maybe
shouldn't have chose 9:30 p.m.,

but can you please inject me?

- But why are you naked?
- I was wearing a jumpsuit,

so I had to
take the whole thing off.

- Where are your shoes?
- There was a rock in one.

It's a separate issue.
Can you please just

stick this just stick this
in my tummy?

- Fine, fine, fine, fine,
fine, fine, fine.

Okay, but please stop
staying the word "tummy,"

all right,
you're an 18-year-old girl,

not Winnie the fucking Pooh.

Okay.

All right.

- [inhales sharply]

How'd you get
so good at this?

- I, um, had to do
my mom's Botox

during the pandemic.

It was a challenging time
for us all.

- Well, thank you.
You're a lifesaver.

- Sure.

Um, but you don't like,
expect me

to do this, like,
every night, right?

- No, of course not.

- It's Theta's
theme party week.

I would never ask that of you.

I 100% have it from here.

- ♪ Hello and good morning ♪
- Come, come.

- ♪ And make you mine mine ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Hello and good morning ♪
- Please stop.

No, I'm serious. Stop.

- ♪ How much time
can a bad girl crush ♪

♪ When a bad girl crush ♪

♪ It's a bad girl ♪

♪ But how much time
can a bad girl crush ♪

♪ Work work work work ♪

♪ Hello and good morning
and make you mine mine ♪

- Let's go.
- Thank you!

- Perfect.

That is the last shot.
We are done.

We are done.
- Thank you so much.

- Mm-hmm.

- I felt so close to you
this week.

I don't say this enough,
but I love you.

- You've said it many times.

The hormones must be working.

- Hey, hotties.
Heads-up,

I left a lot of body glitter
in that shower.

- Oh, good to know.
- Um, are you still good

to drive me tomorrow?
- Yeah.

It'll be you, me,
my mom's Ford Fiesta,

and to pass the time,
my favorite album,

voice recordings of me
singing Disney songs.

- Ah!
- Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.

Travis is driving you
to Boston for your procedure?

- He's the only person I know
who has a car on campus.

- I will just take us.
- But you don't have a car.

Right, but I do have
a phone number

to a car service,
which is all we need.

- Leighton, that's so nice.

Do car services have a dress
code I should be aware of?

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- [scoffs]
Look at this dumb piece

that dumb bitch Dana wrote.

"12 Corporate Logos
That Look Like My Vagina."

Ugh, what a hack.

- That literally sounds like
something you would write.

- Sure,
but I would've been able

to come up with at least 14.

- And the presence of
an asymmetric carbon atom

can cause--anyone?

- A chiral molecule.

- Correct. Nice.

- You were so smart today.

You were like, "Uh, it's
a spiral molecule. Bam!"

- It's chiral, not spiral.

- And, uh, bam!
She bams again.

- [laughs]
- Good job, today, Moriah.

- Hey, you go ahead.
I'll catch you later.

- [sighs]

- Hey, Paul. Uh, so, my name
is actually Whitney.

- Ooh.
- Just wanted to make

that clear,
'cause you called me Moriah

a couple times, so...

I'm Whitney,
she's Moriah.

All right?
We good?

- Mm, mm-hmm.

Can I talk in private?

I promise you
I am not a racist.

- I didn't say you were, Paul.

Just trying to
tell you my name.

- [sniffles]

- Please don't cry.
- Mixing you two up

was an honest mistake.
- Okay, so--

- And I know what I'm doing now

is putting my trauma onto you,

so I am stopping.

But let me say
that I love Black people

and culture,
and I support Black businesses

whenever possible.

- Okay.
- You good? I feel good.

Hug it out?
- Uh...

[upbeat funky music]

♪ ♪

- Leighton! Hold up!

Hold up.

- Do I know you?
- We're in an eight-person

math seminar twice a week.

My name's Jimin.

- And I'm Maurice.
- Right.

Um, it was so great
to catch up.

- Are you going to
the Hackathon today?

- The--the what-a-what?

- It's the math department's
craziest day of the year.

- We spend 24 hours trying
to solve a PhD-level equation.

- And some years, we do.

- Well, we could really use
another smart person

on our team.

I really love the passion
you're showing

for this depressing event,
but...

sadly, I can't.

My roommate and I
are going out of town.

Also, for future notice,

I will not be joining any
math-based extracurriculars.

So--

- Oh. We'll be livestreaming it
if you wanna tune in.

- I--I am so sorry;
you are just out of earshot.

Yeah.
- We'll be livestreaming it

if you wanna tune in.
- Okay, amazing. Thank you!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hi, Eric.
- Hi.

- Oh, hi, Dana.
Sorry, didn't see you there.

- How?
- Eric, can I steal you

for a sec?

- I was actually just leaving.

I will see you later.

Bye, Dana!

So, uh, what's later?

Do you two have a board game
club or something?

- We're going
to that Theta party.

- Oh, nice.

I'm going to that party
with someone else too.

- Great.

- Did my phone just buzz?

- I don't think so.
- Oh, it did.

It was him.
[laughs]

You can meet him
at the party.

- Sure.

- [knocking]

Aaron!

- Um--who are you?

- [laughs]
Don't be ridiculous.

I'm Bela.

- Okay.
- Well, I'll be your date

to your party today.

- Did I ask you?
- You didn't.

I'll pick myself up at 4:00.

Bye!

- The fuck?

[upbeat music]

- Leighton, I honestly can't
thank you enough.

This is the fanciest car
I've ever been in.

I mean, look at these
gorgeous wooden trims.

- I'm glad you like it.

- Like it?
I love it!

I mean, there are seat heaters
in the back.

What is this?
Like, a moving spa?

- Your parents have a car,
right?

- Yeah. We used to have two.

- ♪ 'Cause lately ♪

- What are you doing?
Are you on some, like,

cool gay dating app?

- No, I'm watching this
dumb math Hackathon.

- You're watching math?
Like, for fun?

- Oh, no. No, no, no.
I'm just letting it play

so that my teacher
knows that I'm watching.

I'm not, like,
paying attention or anything.

Oh, come on, Jimin!
How do you mess up

a problem like that?
[chuckles]

- Leighton?
- Hm?

- I think someone forgot
four water bottles in the back.

Should we tell the driver?

- Kimberly, those are for us.

- Holy shit!

I feel like a celebrity.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Do you need help?
You've been staring

at that form for, like,
ten minutes.

- [sighs]
It says I can't sue them

if I die during the procedure.

I'm kinda freaking out.

- I promise you
are gonna be okay.

- I've never been
put under before. Have you?

- Once.
- How was it?

- Bad.
- Oh!

I was hoping you'd say good.

- [sighs]
I was 16,

and I was getting
my wisdom teeth removed.

- Oh.
- And the nurse told me

that people, like,
lose their inhibitions

and say all this
crazy shit to their family

and, like, their deep secrets
when they wake up.

So I spent the entire time
terrified

that I had accidentally
come out to my mom.

- But you didn't.
- No.

Although I did say
a lot of other crazy stuff

that Nico taped,
and um,

I will be doing
the same to you.

[laughter]

You're gonna be fine.

- Thank you so much
for coming with me.

I would be so much more scared
if I were alone.

- Oh, you could be worse
than alone.

You could be with Travis.

[laughter]
- Well, I appreciate it.

I can't believe
I'm actually doing this.

Is this crazy?
- It's crazy.

- [laughs]
- I--I'm fine. It's fine.

- Hang on.
- Mm-hmm.

- Just--

[line trilling]
Scoot.

- Kimberly!

- Oh, what's up, my girl?

- [laughs] Hey, guys!

- Is it over?
Did you already have the baby?

- Oh, no, I'm not having--
- I'm kidding.

But you know what
I'm not kidding about?

You look hospital hot.
- Oh, it's true!

You look good!

- Thank you.
- [laughs] Okay.

All right, this is getting
way too sentimental,

so we gotta go.
- Good luck!

I'm so proud of you!

- We love you!
- You got this!

- Bye, love you!
[phone chimes]

- All right.

You ready?

- I am.
- Good.

[funky music]

♪ Yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ I'ma boss now
single when I walk ♪

♪ I'ma boss now
single when I talk ♪

♪ I'ma boss now
droppin' 50 grand ♪

♪ I'ma boss now
bottles in my hand ♪

- This party looks sick.
- Sure does.

Actually, I can't really see.
Amazon Basics does not make

a quality contact lens,
but it's worth it to look hot.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'm gonna go run a hot lap

and see who checks me out.

♪ ♪

- Oh!
- Oh, I am so sorry.

- Oh, man.

♪ ♪

- There's my date.

- Me?
- [laughs] You're cute.

We talked about this
two hours ago.

- Okay, what is this about?

- Look, bro, I am using
your body

to make another man jealous,
so could you please

just take your shirt off and
flex your abs the whole time

while I introduce you?

- ♪ I'ma boss now
single when I talk ♪

- Sure.
- That is so cool of you.

You are so down to earth.
I will need to ice your nipples

real quick
to get them hard first.

- Can't we just
go meet this person?

- Jeez! So much for being
down to earth.

- ♪ Get up and dance ♪

- Whoa, Eric!

I completely forgot
you'd be here.

Oh, have you met my date,
Aaron?

- Hey. Um, Bela,
what's going on with your eyes?

- Aren't they exotic? And look
how hot Aaron's body is.

Hey, Dingo.
Sorry, it is Dingo, right?

- It's Dana.
- Oh, my God. Of course.

Are you having fun?
- We actually just got here.

We were at my apartment
watching a movie.

- Nice. Which movie?
- "Knives Out."

I loved it.
- Me too.

- I can't wait
for the sequels.

- Whoa, they're making sequels?

both: Yeah.

- Ow, my eye!

- Are you okay?
- My straw hit it.

It's fine, I can still see.

But I do need to go
check in on a friend

who's doing a thing.

Aaron, are you coming?

- Nah, I'm good.

♪ ♪

- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.

- Okay, can we have
a shit talk corner?

- Ooh, you know that's
my favorite activity.

- I'm actually majoring in it
right now.

- So I had a really weird
run-in with one of my TAs.

- Did you see him in shorts?

I hate seeing
an authority figure's knees.

- No.
Uh, so he confused me

with the other Black girl
in our class,

and when I tried
to casually correct him,

he started crying.

- He pulled
the white tears card?

- If I had a dollar
for every time that happened...

I'd only have 63 cents.

'Cause Black women make
significantly less

on the dollar.
- The whole thing

was exhausting.
- No cap, I was so naive

for thinking it'd be
different in college.

My freshman roommate
apologized to me

for going on a safari.

- A white girl on my floor
once asked me

if I knew how
to cornrow her hair.

And, I mean,
I do know how to do it,

but you can't just ask me that.

- I did mean to ask you,

can you do my hair on Saturday?

- Oh, yeah, girl.
I got you.

- What's annoying is,
I'm the one

who's still thinking about it.

Like, now I have to feel bad

about upsetting him?

- Preserving my chill
is my number one,

so personally,
I would ignore his ass.

- Or you can switch places
with the other girl one day

and really mess with him.
- [laughs]

I needed this.
I'm so glad I ran into y'all.

- You could run into us
a lot more

if you stopped by KJ.

I mean, I know there was drama
with Canaan

the last time you were there,
but that don't mean

you can't come through.

- Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

I will.
[laughs] I will.

both: Okay.

- ♪ Hey ♪

♪ ♪

- ♪ I'm never not ♪
- ♪ Oh ♪

- Leighton.
- Hey!

You absolutely killed it!

The nurse said you did amazing.

They got, like,
28 eggs from you.

- Is that good?

- Based off a Google search
I did

while you were drooling
in your sleep,

it's great.
- Oh, yay.

I did it.
- [laughs]

Hell yeah, you did!

- Oh, Leighton,
can I tell you a secret?

- Okay.
- You're gay,

and I love you for it.

- Welp, this is gonna be
a long car ride home.

- [giggles]
- [laughs]

[thumping music]

♪ ♪

[knock at door]

- Be outside, bitch!

- Bela, it's me.

♪ ♪

- God, you look like
my family's Husky.

- Ugh.

- What is going on with you?

- What is going on with you
and that wet-mouthed

trollop son of a bitch, Dana?

- I think you might

be a little bit jealous
of Dana.

- [laughs]
No, I don't think so.

- You can't have it
both ways, Bela.

You're clearly dangling
that dude's muscles in my face,

and you freak out the second
I'm with somebody else.

What do you want?
- I don't know anymore.

I thought I wanted to be
a fun, non-monogamous

boss bitch, but now I think
I just wanna, like...

date you.

- You do?

- Yeah.

- Okay. Let's do it.

- Take your pants off.

- I need you to take
that other contact out.

- You have your heated blanket,

iPad, and your sad,
sad selection of snacks.

- Oh, I forgot
that I got raisins!

- [laughs]
- Tonight's gonna be lit.

What are you gonna do?
- Hang here with you.

- Solve for D
if the value of K is 4.

- 13?
- Sorry, that's wrong.

- Jimin! How do you mess up
a simple differential equation?

- Leighton?
- Hmm?

- I think you wish
you were at that Hackaton.

- Are you kidding me?

No, I have no interest
in spending time

with those nerds.
- But I think

you might be a nerd.

- Excuse you.

- What's 715 divided by 62?

- 11.53.
- Whoa!

Is that right?

I deleted the calculator app
on my phone,

and I can't get it back.

- Look, I don't take
math classes

because I'm some loser
who loves numbers.

I do it because
I am really good at it.

And I enjoy being better
at things than everyone else.

- Then go be good.
- No.

Even if I wanted to,
I am not gonna

leave you here tonight.

But I'm fine.

You don't have to worry about
me, I swear.

[light electronic music]

Go.

- Okay, maybe I will just,
like, pop in

for just, like, a sec.

♪ ♪

If anyone asks, I am at
an exclusive yacht party

in, um--
in whatever ocean's closest.

- Okay.

[upbeat funky music]

♪ ♪

- I'm outie with Eric...

my boyfriend.

- You got boyf'd?

- Yeah, I got boyf'd so hard

in the bathroom
I can barely walk.

- Horrible!

- This is a dirty frat house.

- Go have fun with your man.

I'm gonna stay for a bit.
- [clicks tongue] Okay.

- Okay, so Canaan just texted,

and he's on his way.
- Ay! Finally.

♪ ♪

- Actually, I'ma head out too,

get something to eat
before bed.

- Hell, no! You are not
about to flee this party

because Canaan is coming,
we just talked about this.

- Oh, my God.
That is not what this is.

I'm just tired.
Y'all need to chill.

See you later.

♪ ♪

- And according to one study

elderly friendships
serve a purpose

far beyond enjoyment.

They're also saving lives.

- Oh, that's fascinating.
- Tell me, how did your...

- [inhales sharply]
- Life change

after you met Barney?

Ugh.
- Well, I hug more now.

- [groans]
- Oh, you love to hug?

- I--I love to give hugs.

[toilet flushes]

[somber guitar music]

♪ ♪

Oh, no.
No, no, no, no.

- Hey.
- Hi.

- Staying in tonight?

- Mm-hmm.
[door handle rattles]

- Are you okay?
- Uh, yeah

I just had a little
medical procedure done today

and I'm not feeling well,

and now I'm locked out
of my suite,

and I left my phone in there.

- Well, why don't we just
go wait in my room

until your friends get home?
- No, no.

I'm fine. Go have fun.

- I'm not going to
leave you like this.

It's all good. Come on.

- All right.

[gentle music]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- I wasn't gonna let
a pandemic

stop me from salsa dancing
with my friends.

- Kimberly?
- So you've been dancing

together over the internet?
- Oh, we had the time

of our lives.

- But then a new obstacle
developed.

Phillip's vision
was failing.

[light music]

- ♪ Don't know why ♪

- Hey.

- Hey.
- Uh, what happened?

- She got locked out
and wasn't feeling well.

- And you just, like,
took care of her?

♪ ♪

That's cool.
- It's all good.

I've actually had to nurse
a lot of sickliens

back to health at home.

But she's a better patient.

- A lot to unpack there.

Help me get her
back to our room?

- Yeah, sure.

♪ ♪

Kimber.

Your roommate's here.

You wanna go back to bed?
- Mm.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Ba-ba-ba ♪

- Come on.
- ♪ Ba-ba-ba ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Oh-oh
since your first solo ♪

- Monogamous sex
just hits different.

- Bela, it's been one night.

- And yet I am changed.

- Hello, Whitney.

There's actually something
I wanted to share with you.

I've been listening
to this illuminating podcast

on race relations in academia--

- Ooh, look, Paul, uh,

I know you mean well,
and congrats

on doing the work,

but I don't want every
conversation we have together

to be about my Blackness
and your whiteness.

That is not our thing.

I want our thing to be
that you're my TA,

and I'm your student,
and you just get my name right.

Can we do that, Paul?

- And oh, my God,
do not cry right now.

Okay, I really don't wanna
have to console you

about this again.

That should not be my job.

- Right, yeah.

- We good?
- So good.

- Thank you.

Hmm.

Hey, Moriah, I'm Whitney.

- Oh, I know.
[laughter]

- You crushed it, Leighton.

We never would've gotten
second without you.

- Yes, that's correct.

- We'll get first next time.

- We?
Oh, okay,

if I do this again,
I'm 100%

teaming up with the winners.

They've already asked--
[car horn honks]

- Hello! Can you move?

- I'm late for class,
and I'm trying to park.

Today? Go!

[Photronique's
"It's Showtime"]

♪ ♪

[car door shuts]
[keys jangle]

- Hey, I have--
I have that same bag.

- Sure. Great.

- ♪ Y-O-L-O
that's all we know ♪

♪ You gotta show me
what you got ♪

♪ And we can start the show ♪

♪ You betta turn it
turn it up

♪ Like it's a radio
and it's yo song ♪

- She's so hot.
- ♪ Are you ready to go? ♪

- ♪ Aeeyo Y-O-L-O ♪
- ♪ YOLO ♪

- ♪ Aeeyo,
that's wat we know ♪

- ♪ Aeeyo,
you only live once ♪

♪ Betta turn it,
turn it up ♪

♪ It's showtime ♪

♪ That's all we know ♪

- ♪ Aeeyo, Y-O-L-O ♪
- ♪ L-O ♪

- ♪ Aeeyo,
that's how we roll ♪

- ♪ We roll ♪
- ♪ You only get one shot

♪ Betta get out there
and get it ♪

♪ It's showtime,
that's all we know ♪

♪ Aeeyo, read the words
on my lips ♪

- ♪ I trap 'em ♪
- ♪ Hear me, hear me ♪

♪ Makin' all them hits ♪
- ♪ I'm platinum ♪

- ♪ Who livin' it up
betta than this? ♪

- ♪ Oh, stop it ♪
- ♪ Money got me wide ♪

♪ All in my hips ♪
- ♪ Deep pockets ♪

- ♪ Party-arty-arty
all the time ♪

♪ Aye, aye ♪
- ♪ And I ain't got ♪

♪ No problems on my mind ♪
- ♪ Aye, aye ♪

- ♪ Partner, you gon' let me
come inside ♪

- ♪ Aye, aye ♪
- ♪ You know I'm why ♪

♪ They all standin' in line,
you only get one shot ♪

♪ So you betta make it good ♪

♪ Keep the night
feelin' right ♪

♪ From the hills to the hood,
I could party all day ♪

♪ And I wish somebody would ♪

♪ Tell me turn down
YOLO understood ♪

♪ Aeeyo ♪
- ♪ Aeeyo Y-O-L-O ♪

♪ Aeeyo, that's all we know ♪

- ♪ You only live once ♪

♪ Betta turn it, turn it up ♪

♪ It's showtime ♪

♪ That's all we know ♪

- ♪ Aeeyo Y-O-L-O ♪
- ♪ L-O ♪

- ♪ Aeeyo,
that's how we roll ♪

- ♪ We roll ♪
- ♪ You only get one shot ♪

♪ Betta get out there
and get it ♪

♪ It's showtime ♪

♪ That's all we know ♪

♪ Aeeyo ♪

♪ Aye-aye-aye, aeeyo ♪

♪ Aye aye it's showtime ♪

♪ That's all we know ♪

♪ Aeeyo ♪

- Go to bed.

[dramatic musical flourish]