All language subtitles for S01E09.srt - eng(2)

Viktor.

Viktor.

Wake up, Viktor.

You were having a nightmare.

Didn't you read my book?

I said not to wake
the person up.

Sharper than it looks.

I mean, a little.

Good.

And it's perfectly normal

to want to kill a patient that's
leaving therapy prematurely.

CHARLIE:
Your dream.

Auschwitz.

Viktor Frankl is lying there,
having a nightmare.

Remember what he said not
to do, in his book?

Reality is worse
than a nightmare

when you're in Auschwitz--
don't wake him up.

I woke him up.

Maybe the dream
is trying to say...

the human spirit can prevail.

You should keep working,

keep being a therapist,
no matter what.

How's it saying that?

I don't know.
That's in his book.

Or maybe it's telling me,
don't die like a fucking sheep.

Sam!

:
Sam!

I know it's early.

I'm sorry to wake you up,
but there's some things

that we need to discuss.

We need to talk
before you go to work.

Please sit.

I don't think that you should go
to see a new therapist.

Sometimes it's true, a patient
needs to try somebody else.

But sometimes it is a way
of running away.

And I think that

is what is happening here.

And I think we're making
real progress.

You are opening up more
than you ever did before.

You are trying
to contain your impulses,

even if we haven't found
anything that works yet.

I know things are getting
worse right now.

It's part of the process.

It's where the cliché
comes from,

things get worse
before they get better.

I've come to care
about you, Sam,

as I always do
with my patients.

You and I have developed
a relationship.

No matter how strange
the situation is,

that's the bottom line.

Therapists and patients develop
genuine feelings.

I know there are feelings,
but...

I told you, it's not working.

And I'm going to see
Mr. Buchella next week.

That still gives us a week.

Let's see what we can
accomplish, hmm?

At least send you off to him
in the best shape we can.

I know what you're trying to do.

Of course, I'm a human being.

I don't want you to get
another therapist

and then kill me.

Sam, you can leave this room
at any time,

you are not chained
to the floor,

but I have some things
to say.

I am going to tell you
about a man named Viktor Frankl.

He was a psychiatrist in Austria
in the 1930s and '40s.

He survived the Nazi
concentration camps,

and he wrote a book called
Man's Search for Meaning.

And his main point is that

people need meaning
in their lives,

probably more
than anything else.

And I think that is a way
for you to take your next step.

So, the deepest place
that we can find meaning

is in relationships.

We all need friends and romance,
people to be close to.

For everyone,
that's what fills us up.

That's what makes life
good to live.

And without it,
anyone can go to dark places.

So, like Mary.

Yes, like Mary.

When I was with her,
I didn't feel any different.

I understand,
but you're changing now.

If you had a girlfriend now,

I bet it would be different.

For some reason, I'm just,
I'm not...

I'm not great at meeting women.

How did you meet Mary?

We went to high school
together.

We were, like, friends, kind of.

And then my mom went to her
for physical therapy

when she broke her wrist,

and Mom gave her my number.

That's good.

Obviously, when she called,
you handled it well.

Maybe you're better with women
than you think.

What attracted you to Mary?

I, I-- can we not talk
about Mary, please?

ALAN:
Why?

She didn't want
the marriage to end.

But she didn't know
if I loved her.

Loved loved her.

Maybe I could get
some meaning from Hara.

Our kid in Bangladesh.

Mary and me would lie in bed

sometimes and she would pretend
that we were all together.

Us and Hara.

Mm-hmm, that sounds nice.

But then, other times,
if she didn't understand

or agree with something that
I was trying to say to her,

she would... get really upset.

She... did I tell you she
complained all the time?

She wasn't...

Wasn't what?

I don't know.

Maybe she didn't have
enough meaning in her life.

I wish I could meet her.

Why?

If I could see
the two of you together,

I could help figure out

if this is the right direction
for you to go in.

Therapists can figure out what
two people go best together?

It's hard to predict
what couples will work.

But sometimes we can make
a pretty good guess

about what won't work.

Mm.

This is going to sound
kind of strange.

But I wonder, is there a way
that I could meet her?

I mean, not in person,
but...

On the phone?

Yeah, maybe, or...

Maybe you could have her over

for lunch or dinner, upstairs.

You could leave the door open,
talk loudly.

That's a terrible idea.

Yeah, yeah.

Or, you know,

my daughter, with her kids,
had this nanny cam.

And she could see and hear
everything

that they were doing in
their room.

Maybe you could get
one of those.

And I could watch

and hear you two interacting.

And then I could give you
my professional opinion.

That feels like it would be...

not honest.

It's normally not healthy
to spy on another person,

especially someone
you are trying

to explore
a trusting relationship with.

But these are
extreme circumstances.

Hmm.

Mom?!

Can you come down here?

I'm inviting Mary over

for brunch.

What?

I'm inviting Mary
over for brunch.

Dr. Strauss wants to meet her,
he's gonna watch on a nanny cam.

I'm not sure I...

You want Mary to come over?

I was telling Sam he needs
to develop more relationships

in order to expand the meaning

in his life.

I think that kind of meaning
can start to help take the place

of his problematic obsessions.

But... Mary?

-Shouldn't it be someone new?
-Maybe.

But my thinking is,
he's already gotten very far

in his relationship with Mary.

-And at this point,

-he has a strong need to...
-She's coming.

Tomorrow at 10:00.

Well...

I always liked Mary.

You already got Elias
killed.

That wasn't totally your fault.

But if Sam chokes Mary to death?

That's a hundred percent on you.

What do you want me to do?

I'm not the Terminator.

I stab him with this bullshit
half-knife,

what, is he just gonna lie down
on the floor and bleed out?

I'll be lucky if I get
one good jab in.

But with Mary upstairs,
I can stab him,

scream,
and she'll call the police.

Him going for this
is a fucking miracle.

It's a gift from God.

Except you're assuming,
when you stab him

with your foot cream tube
and scream for help,

his mom won't just whomp Mary
over the head with a frying pan.

Right, that's what I'm assuming.

A Hail Mary with Mary.

Can you hear me?

I can hear!

They didn't have these
when my kids were babies.

-Dr. Strauss.
-Mm.

You're not gonna...

You probably think

that I wouldn't hurt Mary
because I care about her.

And that's true.

But if-if you did
something stupid

and she found out
that you were down here...

if you created a situation where
I had no other choice, I...

Sam, my only goal

is for this brunch date
to go well for you.

What are you serving?

Indian from Maruti.

Mmm, does Mary like Indian?

No, not that much.

I... you know, Sam,
I would encourage you

to think about what she might
like to eat.

You're the host,

and you want her
to have a good time, right?

Yeah.

That's a good idea.

What do I say to her?

Well... you guys used
to talk, right?

Yeah.

Would you be comfortable
trying some role-play?

That's where you practice

a situation that you're going
to be in.

I can play the part of Mary,

and we could just try
to have a conversation.

Like a real,
like a real conversation?

Yes.

Why don't you try saying,
"How have you been?"

How have you been?

How, how have, how have you--
how have you been?

How have you been?

Pretty good, how about you?

Pretty good, pretty good.

Pretty good, I've been pretty,
I've been pretty good.

I've been pretty good--
can I be Mary?

Uh... sure, yes.

Let's try that.

It's so good to see you again,
Mary, how have you been?

Pretty good, how about you?

Um, I've been doing okay.

A lot going on at work.

How are things going
at work for you?

Pretty good.

I don't want to do this.

Dr. Strauss.

If...

If Mary and I had a baby...

...would it be like me?

Nobody knows how their kids
are going to turn out, Sam.

This is the, uh,
Waldorf salad from Milo's.

Oh... I love that.

But you didn't have to get me
something special.

You get gas when you
eat Indian food.

Mm.

The salad's great.

Mm.

A Jew was sentenced
to death.

A British guy says...

No, he's French.

French guy.

A French guy said to kill him
with the guillotine.

He's-- he's sentenced
to death, too.

That's the-- they're all--
so the British guy--

there's another British guy
there, and...

The British guy...
sentenced to death...

he wanted to be shot

in the head, he says,

"Uh, shoot me."

So they shoot him in the head.

And the Jewish guy--
they said, "How?"

They said, "How?"

And then the Jewish guy says,
"Old age."

I'll be right back.

CANDACE:
Some more tea?

MARY:
Oh, no, I'm good, thank you.

CANDACE:
I have all these kinds of tea.

A whole cabinet.

I don't even remember
buying it all.

:
It's going really bad.

I don't,
I don't know what to say.

I think you should try asking
her a question.

Either what's going on at work,
or how's her family?

Okay.

CANDACE:
How are your parents, Mary?

MARY:
Normal, I guess.

Why is this so hard?

It just is.
It's hard for everyone.

CANDACE:
Your dad okay?

MARY:
Yeah, he's doing okay.

He's not walking
like he used to.

Mom thinks he needs
cataract surgery.

At our age, it all goes wrong

one thing at a time,
but I'm sure he'll be fine.

MARY: Yeah, that's what he says--
"It'll be fine."

But then we'll be, like,
in the middle of dinner...

You're gonna get
that girl killed.

CANDACE: It's easy to take it
for granted.

MARY: I've been trying
to exercise more.

CANDACE:
Good for you.

I should get back up.

MARY:
It's so boring.

You don't like
the lox and bagels?

CANDACE:
I wish.

One day.

I'd rather have Indian.

Okay. I might need more advice.

MARY: You know that pill that stops
you from having a heart attack?

There are all these people

who just eat whatever they want,
don't exercise,

and then they take
these pills called statins.

CANDACE:
Maybe that should be plan B.

-MARY: Probably.

Heart attacks--
they don't really scare me

too much, though.

Strokes, on the other hand.

I don't think it runs
in the family,

but, well, who knows?

So, how have you been doing
at work lately?

Good.

Um, do you remember Carolina?

-Mm.
-She left about two months ago,

and they haven't replaced her,
so I'm doing everything.

SAM:
Are they going to replace her?

They haven't even listed
the position yet.

You're gonna have to keep
doing all of her work.

That's not fair.

Yeah, well, fair...

You're never going
to believe this, but...

I kind of miss the La-Z-Boy.

It's very comfortable.

-Hmm.
-Yeah.

I could, I could bring it back

-if you want.
-Oh, no, that's okay.

-No?
-No.

MARY: I have other good chairs,
and the couch.

That chair was his father's.

My father beat me up a lot.

When I was a kid.

That's why I went into therapy.

MARY:
Oh...

Sam.

MARY:
So, my parents got a new cat.

The old one, well,
he's not old...

Let me help you with that,
and then I need to get home.

CANDACE:
No, no, dear, just let me do it.

Help, Mary, I'm Sam's prisoner
down here!

Call the police! Help!

SAM: So, uh, okay, let me
walk you to your car.

Mary left.

She said

she thinks it's good for exes
to have a friendly relationship.

And she thinks that we should do
this once a year.

What are you feeling?

Mary's not going to get
back together with me.

How does that make you feel?

Bad.

Sad.

That was a mistake,
her coming here was...

Why did you have me do that?

ALAN:
N-No, that's wrong.

It wasn't a mistake.

This is very important for you.

To find meaningful
relationships.

It means taking risks
and getting hurt.

Then taking another risk
and getting hurt again.

Until you find
relationships that work.

And that is exactly
what life requires.

-I don't feel good.
-Yes, that's part of it.

And that pain
is telling you something.

You've been following it
in the wrong direction.

But now that you're getting
to know yourself better,

it will tell you
where you need to go.

I promise.

It doesn't matter.

I'm going to see
Mr. Buchella next week.

What are you going to tell him?

I'll tell him the same stuff
I told you.

But hopefully it works with him.

ALAN:
You know...

in therapy, Sam,
you can't push people.

You have to let them
come to their own insights

in their own time.

That being said, I would suggest
and encourage you

to talk with Mr. Buchella
specifically

about what your father
did to you.

I told you all about my father.

It was the first thing
that I told you.

-That is true.
-Mm-hmm.

But you had trouble
giving me details.

It was hard for you to tell me
a really full story.

And for you to go forward
with Mr. Buchella

or anyone, I think
it is very important

that you try to access

those memories and those
deeper feelings about him.

I don't have any trouble
accessing my memories

or my feelings.
I remember everything.

You, you think
that I don't remember?

I think about it all the time,
I think about...

every time he hit me,
every time he looked at me,

the way he looked at me,
the way he hated me.

What the f...

This, this-- Sam,
what's happening right now,

how you're feeling...

When you get so angry
that you hurt someone,

that's a version of what's
happening in this exact moment.

And at the root of it is your
father, as we've discussed.

It's not the people you hurt
that you're mad at, it's him.

So you-you think that I kill
people because of him?

Almost instead of him.

Oh.

I get it.

This is a guy named
Edmund Kemper.

He is the one guy who I feel,
he's the only one.

Just, just watch this.

KEMPER :
It was springtime, it was April.

Uh, for two months
I hadn't killed.

And I said it's not going
to happen to any more girls.

It's got to stay between
me and my mother.

That was one week
before I murdered my mother.

I said, she's got to die, or
girls like that are gonna die.

And that's when I decided
I'm going to murder my mother.

In his case, he said publicly
that it was his mother

that he was killing all along.

And when he killed his mother,
that was the end.

It's a very deep
psychological observation

from himself.
It may be very accurate.

Got on the telephone
and turned himself in.

He said it was time
for the killing to stop.

I came out of her vagina, see?

I came out of my mother.

And in a rage
I went right back in.

I cut off her head.

And, and I humiliated
her corpse.

He fucked her skull.

It had to stop, it had to stop.
Uh, once my mother was dead,

there was almost a cathartic
process at that point.

-I got physically...
-See?

Kemper said everyone he killed,

he was just killing his mother
over and over again-- me, too.

It's the same for me,
just with my father.

-I don't think that this...
-You're the one who said

I kill people instead of him,
so if I kill him, I'll be done.

I won't have to kill
any other people.

-Sam.
-And if there's one person, one person who

needs to get what he deserves,
it's that piece of shit.

ALAN:
Sam!

Sam, you cannot and must not
kill your father.

This is good.

I feel like... I finally know
what I have to do.

Sam, we, we should keep talking.

We need to keep talking, Sam.

I'm gonna kill my father,

cut his head off,
and fuck his skull.

I'm just kidding, I'm not
going to fuck his skull.