Original subtitles

Dude, I got them.

Tickets to a free screening of "Love Bot 2".

Aw, sweet!

The first one was so lame.

I AM A ROBOT, I CAN NOT LOVE.

Come on, call Margaret and Eileen, we can all go make fun of it.

Actually, I only got two tickets. I'm gonna ask Margaret to go.

Aw, what?

But we do everything together.

Exactly, Margaret and I will never be more than just friends with you guys tagging along.

It's time to take this to the next level.

Alright, man. Do your thing.

Okay, you gotta do it.

You just gotta do it.

You got this.

Yes, dude, yes!

Dude?

Mordecai?

Mordecai?

I know it must hurt, man,

but you've been listening to that song on repeat for, like, five days now.

Hello?

Hey, buddy.

So I was thinking...

Come on, man.

Dude, come on.

What?

I'm sick of seeing you like this, man.

All sad and junk. You smell like something died.

Something did die.

Inside of me. My heart.

Forget that, you don't need a heart.

You don't get it, man.

The love of my life is getting married to some other dude.

Do you know how that feels?

She's engaged. So what?

It's not like you guys are even dating.

I'm sorry, okay?

But listen, I have the perfect solution to your problem.

What?

"Couple Corral?

Where findin' pardners is a fine howdy-do?"

Dude, I'm not gonna start internet dating.

I just wanna be alone right now.

Besides, that site is for, like, cowboys or something.

Well, I guess you're a cowboy, then, 'cause I signed you up!

- What? - Nah, it's cool, man, it's legit.

Look, check out your profile.

"Mordecool?

Likes video games, goofin' off and grilled cheese?"

Dude, you make me sound like a dork!

Hey, all that stuff's true, man. Don't put that on me.

Whatever, man.

I'm not having anything to do with this.

Come on! Look, ten girls already responded.

Eleven!

Nah, I'll get out of my room and take a shower,

but dates with random strangers?

Come on, man, it might make you feel better.

Look, if you can't do it for yourself, then do for me, man.

You're bummin' me out.

Twelve.

Okay, so I just have to say,

I usually don't do this sort of thing.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. I never eat out like this.

You know what they say about fancy restaurants.

Ummm...yeah.

Oh? So you agree that women are misrepresentative forms of popular media?

I don't know. I guess.

Well, which is it?

You think this is going well or do you hate me?

Both?

Yeah, we both split it.

I got the salad...Ate some of your fries...

Are you...Mordecai?

Yeah...Cloudy Jay?

That's just my screen name.

You can just call me CJ.

Sorry I'm late. I got caught up at work.

Oh, yeah?

I wish I could just quit and watch TV all day or something, you know?

Uh-huh.

So what's it like working at the park?

It's fine.

Alright, what's the deal? I can tell you're not into this.

What? No!

Dude, just be real with me.

You're right. My friend talked me into coming here.

I've been depressed and just needed to get out of the house.

Sorry, I'm sure you're a cool girl and all,

but I'm not interested in dating anyone right now.

It's cool.

Really?

Yeah. We can just try being friends.

Maybe I can cheer you up.

Come on, let's get out of here.

You're doing it!

You're gonna beat the high score!

Wow. I've never seen anybody beat this game before.

Yeah...I'm kinda an old pro at this.

Tied game, tied game!

Cheap shot, cheap shot!

No, no, I don't care what you say.

The original "Zombie Destiny" movie is way better than the remake.

Quit talking with your mouth full!, Mordecool.

Wait, what do you mean? My mouth's open?

I have no idea, is it still open?

Aw, gross. How old are you?

Yeah, so his head just exploded...just...blam!

Man! You guys have like the worst luck or something.

I know. Oh, I almost forgot.

- I have these tickets to see "Love Bot 2" tomorrow... - Yes.

What?

Yes, I'd love to go to the movies with you.

Yeah, great.

I didn't want them to go to waste,

so I don't know how good it'll be, but---

Are you kidding?

Hold me so I can learn to love. Hold me.

Classic! I can't wait.

Alright, so tomorrow night?

- Cool. See you then. - Later, CJ.

Mordecai! Hey!

Hey, Margaret.

Where have you been? It feels like I haven't seen you in forever.

Oh, I know, around.

Oh. Well, you better not be getting your coffee from someplace else.

No way.

You guys would go out of business without me.

- Oh. I should introduce you to my... - No!

Sorry, I just...

I'm kinda in a hurry.

- Oh. Well, okay. - Catch you later.

Later.

Dude, come on!

You were doing so well!

Mordecai!

Is he still crying about the coffee girl?

If I have to listen to this song one more time...

Mordecai! This is your boss! Open up!

I'm talking a mental health day.

You don't have the right to be sad.

You never even had the guts to tell Margaret how you feel.

Listen. If you leave things the way they are now,

you'll regret it for the rest of your life.

Telling her might not change anything,

but at least you'll have closure.

You should just tell Margaret how you feel.

You're right. Thanks, Skips.

What?

Whatever! Just turn off that music.

Alright, so, you ready?

I guess.

Don't worry, man.

I'll be there ready to call an ambulance if you pass out or...

start freaking out or somethin'.

Thanks, man.

Yeah, and then he asked me to the movies.

It was kind of awkward, but cute. You know.

Oh, my gosh! There he is!

That's him!

I'm gonna go say hi real quick.

- Margaret! - Hey, guys, good timing.

Margaret, listen,

there's something I've been meaning to tell you for a long time.

Sure, but can it wait a sec?

There's someone I want you guys to meet.

Guys, this is my cousin, John.

Cousin?

Yeah, he finally got a new leg today.

Check it out.

Not bad, right?

No more kneeing on one knee for me anymore.

Cool.

Isn't it great?

Margaret screamed so loud when I told her.

She was all like "Yes, dude, yes!"

Aw, geez. Did I really say that?

That's great, man, that's really great.

Did you have something to say, Mordecai?

What?

Do you want to see "Love Bot 2" with me tonight?

- I got a pair of tickets. - Tonight?

Yeah, sure, I'd love too.

Great. So it's a date then.

Hey, what's up, CJ?

- Mordecai, what's going on? - What?

Aren't you taking me to that movie?

Wha -?

Shoot.

Mordecai, what's she talking about?

- Um, wait. Hold on! - Oh, no.

Wait, we can work this out.

What do you mean, "work this out"?

Wait, Mordecai, are you dating this girl?

What? No. We're just friends. Just friends.

Just friends? How can you say that?

Wha -? But it's true.

I can't believe this, this--

So typical!

I thought I met a nice guy, but I shouldn't have known.

Wait, CJ.

Are you just playing some sort of game?

Is this a game to you?

What? No.

How many other girls did you invite to this movie?

I only had two tickets!

CJ, calm down!

I thought we had an understanding!

An understanding?!

Dude, what are you doing?

You're making it worse.

Say something genuine!

Okay, I messed up!

I forgot I asked you to the same movie, but I didn't mean it like that.

I told you when we met I wasn't interested in dating.

But I thought you were starting to like me!

I do like you!

You're a really awesome friend!

Look, I know it hurts to have feelings for someone who doesn't feel the same,

I've been there!

Maybe I can't be the one to cheer you up,

but for what it's worth, I'm sorry!

Okay, I get it.

But you should've at least told me there was someone else.

You're right. I should've been honest.

- Can't we still be friends? - No.

I just...don't think I can be friends with you right now.

Goodbye, Mordecai.

Margaret, are you okay?

So I guess your a big heartbreaker now, huh?

No, it's just... It's just a big misunderstanding.

No, it's good. It's good that your dating.

Look, we weren't really dating.

- Wait, are you jealous? - What?

You are, aren't you?

Um I-- I don't--

I don't know what you're talking about.

It's okay if your a little jealous.

But wait, aren't we still gonna the movies?

- Do you wanna go to the movie? - Nah, I'm over it.

Aw, what?!

But who am I gonna go with?

Love is highy illogical.

Love me. Love me.