All language subtitles for Irreverent.S01E09.720p.WEB_.h264-TRUFFLE

- And the Lord said,
"Those who desire

"to be rich fall into
temptation, into ruin,

and destruction."

"For the love of money is the
root of all kinds of evils.

"And it is through
this craving that

"some have wandered
from the faith

and pierced themselves
with many pangs."

You are so right, Saint Timothy.

You are so right.

I am pierced with
pangs, that's for sure.

So many pangs.

- Daisy, guests are here.

Stay inside.

Wow.

Y'all like to wake
up early, huh?

Oh, more guys to the party.

I like it.

So guys, look, I am so
glad that you came out here

because I have had
the hardest time

trying to get a hold of you.

I'm gonna be straight with you.

I'm having the teeniest
little cash flow problem.

I mean, it happens with
every business, right?

I'm gonna get you your money.

In fact, I'm gonna get you more.

Consider it my penance
for making you come

all the way out here yet again.

- It sounds like you're
yanking my chain.

- Finally, a phrase
that I understand.

No. Heaven forbid.

I would never do that to you.

I've got five grand in
cash right here, right now.

As for the other 45, I'm
gonna give you 100% interest.

That's 90K straight up.

- When?

- Later today.

- Cash?

- Chop-chop.
- Ch...

Daisy, is that you?

- Andy. Ryan.

- Look at you all grown up.

How's the old man?

- Loving life.

- That's good.

All right, Rev,
your lucky day, eh?

Seeing as you're
a mate of Daisy's,

Ryan-O here, he's
gonna take your deal.

- Good.

- So we'll come back
at say, uh, 5:00.

You make sure all of that, uh,
leaf is ready to go, right?

- Sounds good, except,
let's not do it here, yeah?

It's like Michigan
Avenue at Christmas time.

Duncan's Road, 6 p.m.

There you go.

- If you're not there...
- I'll be there.

- If you're not,

there's no special
favors, priest.

Yeah, 'cause we'll
feed you to the crocs.

Won't we, Daise?

Hey, priest, don't be late.

- I'll see you guys there.

What happened to staying inside?

- You're welcome.

- Where are you going?

- I was trying not to wake you.

I'm heading back to Grace's.

- What?

We just did...

I thought we were back on track.

- Peter...

I had a magical
night last night.

Maybe we can do again soon,

but I don't want to fall back

into old routines.

- I don't want to be my
wife's one-night stand.

- Was it really that bad?

- Why aren't you freaking out?

- I have for you, Adam
and Eve on a raft,

a couple of zeppelins,
love apples on the side.

And they are all walked
through the garden.

- I literally have no
idea what you just said.

- Welcome to my world.

So how about you tell me
how a 16-year-old knows how

to disassemble a
shotgun like a pro

and is somehow on a first name
basis with a gang of bikers?

- Customers of my dad.

- Guessing that he didn't
run the local supermarket?

- Glocks, Browning 9-mils,
rifles, over-unders.

His specialty was
sawn-off shotties.

- Hence, you turning up
with a shotgun this morning.

- I've been keeping it under
my bed for a special occasion.

- Wow.
- Mm-hmm.

- So that explains
the extended vacation.

- So what crazy thing
did you promise them?

- A bunch of the
chop-chop by tonight,

which means that I have
got to dig into the cellar.

- It's not your
tobacco to dig into.

- Well, I think I'd
rather have Agnes

pissed off than the bikies.

- I'm happy to deliver it.

- No.

Absolutely not.

I will be fine on
my own, really.

- Seriously, I used to
help my dad all the time.

He wouldn't have won
father of the year,

but he taught me some
handy life skills.

It's a good thing I
didn't need to use this.

It needs some oil
and a new extractor.

We're meeting them
at 6:00, yeah?

That's my ride.

Thanks for brekkie.

- Where you going?

- Specialists in Paradise Cove.

Scans are back.

- How you feeling?

- Just over it.

Need some answers.

- Yep.

- Come on, Daisy.

Rattle your dags.

- Morning, Grace.
- Hey, Rev.

- Digging your car horn.

- We all could do with a
bit more music in our lives.

- Hey, this specialist,
what's the worst case?

She deserves some
luck, doesn't she?

- Forget about luck.

You get praying, Rev. Talk
to that boss of yours.

Come on.

- Oop. Uh, yeah, sorry.

Didn't mean to disturb
you, uh, Your Excellency.

- Reverend.

Must feel like such a blessing,

praying in this glorious
sanctuary every day.

Just you and God.
- Yeah. Yeah, no.

It is such a
blessing when I pray.

- Why don't you join me?

- Sure, why not?

- Okay.

- I have something to confess.

I came back to Clump to discuss
the sale of this church.

- Yeah, I figured
that might be it.

- Hasn't been an easy
decision to make.

You know, I've worked very
hard to become a bishop.

Thought the higher up
the church ranks I rose,

the closer to God I'd be.

The truth is, now I make
decisions that affect

thousands of
parishioners every day,

and I rarely actually get to
speak to any of them anymore.

- I mean, honestly,
it's overrated.

- You deflect well.

Humor is your shield.

But I know you're not
who you pretend to be.

- I'm not?
- No.

You're the worst
minister I've ever met.

You have scant knowledge
of the scripture,

you wouldn't know a psalm
if you tripped over one,

and you're a compulsive liar.

- Wow. Uh, I may not
be perfect, but...

- You have filled
the church, yes.

But with delinquents
and criminals

and people with no
interest in God.

- Seriously, Bishop, you
can't sell this church out

from under the people of Clump

just because of what I'm not.

- You know what
really irritates me?

Somehow, you are closer to God
than I fear I will ever be.

- I'm sorry. What?

- You live Christ's
great lesson.

Embracing the outsiders.

Yesterday, I heard
you speak to them

in some sort of street-smart
gospel gobbledygook.

God knows how anyone
understands you, but they do.

- Could work on my gobbledygook.

- No.

Please don't.

Your gobbledygook is
exactly the reason why

I am not selling this church.

- I... I'm sorry.

You... you're not selling?

- Yesterday, you opened
my eyes and restored

my faith in this little place.

- Phew.

Man, thank you.

Peter and the people of
Clump are just gonna be

over the moon about that.

I... we all will.

- He'll be all right.

Just needs a moment to process.

- Lester's been
waiting for the church

to close for years so
he can buy the land.

- I hope he's not
too disappointed.

It's just a phone tower.

- No phone tower, no
internet, no tourists.

- And the church site
is really the only place

it can be built?

- The only other place in
the path of a satellite

that isn't a marine
sanctuary 50% of the day.

And the Traders Association's

already purchased
all the hardware.

A year of chook raffles
and sausage sizzles.

- Oh, and they store all
the wretched contraptions

in our spare room.

I have nowhere to do my Pilates.

- Well, I warned Lester
that the reverend

was a lightning
rod from America.

- Yeah, the church
has never been busier.

- No, to be honest, no one
could have predicted that.

- Defies logic, really.
Hand of God stuff.

- Yes, the reverend
has performed

a miracle right here in Clump.

Ope, here we go.

- Excellency, Peter.

- Lester.

- Could I run through
our plan B for you?

- You've got a plan B?
- Plan B?

- First rule of business,
you always have a plan B.

- You told me the first rule was

never take no for an answer.

- Well, clearly, we've
moved past that position,

haven't we?

- Well, you are not gonna store

your plan B in my spare room.

I thought the first
rule of business

was don't talk about business.

- Can you please just
work with me for once?

Your Excellency,
what do you say?

Plan B.

- What is it?

- Hey, Rev.
- Ah!

Sweet baby Jesus.

Dude, don't you
know how to knock?

Were you born in a
tent or something?

- No. Oh, yes. Yeah.

Uh, technically, yeah.

How did you know?

Yeah, and sorry.

The bikies. The
bikies are back.

- Okay.

- So I'm hanging around
the beach bar and then...

- Okay.
- I think they're gonna...

They're gonna break my legs.

- No, dude.

Well, uh, probably not.

Look, uh, you'll be fine as long

as you stay out of their
way like I told you to.

Yeah? You know what?

I've actually got a
little job for you.

I need you to help me cut this
safe up into small pieces.

About yea big.

- Okay. Yeah.

- Good. All right.

And I'm gonna need you to
keep this afternoon free.

Okay?

But before that, there's
a little appointment

that's supposed to happen
here in the church.

So what I'm gonna do is go make
sure that they don't come in.

So just wait a few minutes
before you start cutting.

Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Great.
- Cool.

All right.

Thanks, Rev.
- Yeah.

- This'll be good, right?
- Yes.

This looks serious.

Is this the birds
and the bees talk?

- Come on, brother.
That horse has bolted.

Can I have a coffee, please?
- Yeah, same, Harry.

- Uh, beer for me, please, mate.

- Coming up.
- Hey, guys.

This is better than
the manse, right?

I mean, it's a
little more relaxing.

We can chat.

- Hey. Over here.

- You want me to bark
or piss on your leg?

- Local comedian?

- Yeah, he makes us smile.

You're not enjoying yourselves?

- I could smell bacon.

- Definitely.
- Yeah.

I swear I can smell bacon.

- That old chestnut.

- You know, I don't need
pork, love, but gee whiz,

I'd make an exception for that.
- Oi.

- Hey, you know who
else didn't eat pork?

Jesus.
- Wow.

- Yeah, I know.

He... you know, in
addition to being Christ,

he was Jewish, so he
didn't eat pork, right?

I'm gonna guess that you
guys didn't know that, right?

You mind if I join you?
I'm gonna join you.

Yeah, this will be fun.

A lot of people,
they get caught up

on the question of whether
or not he was a God

or a man, right? And the
church isn't helping.

I mean, we call him a Messiah,
the Savior, the Lamb of God,

the Light of the World. He
was the King of the Jews.

He was a Lord. He was a Master.
- I'd love to chat, priest,

but we got to get
moving. Let's go.

- I know you guys
are believers, right?

So any time on a Sunday you
want to drop by, I am free.

My door is open.

See you guys.

Is it something that I said?

- Never underestimate
how annoying you can be.

- Hmm.

What's that?

- Pay day.

- Daisy, come on in.

So Daisy, how have you been?

- Good.

- I have asked you in today...

- I've got cancer, haven't I?

- Oh, no. Not cancer.

There's no signs
of tumors or cysts

of any kind, which
is really good news.

- So it's... it's...
It's all in my head?

I'm crazy.

- No, Daisy.

The pain isn't imaginary.

It's very real.

I think you have a condition
called endometriosis.

Do you know what that is?

It's where tissue very similar
to the lining of the uterus

grows outside the uterus,

and it can be extremely painful.

The only way for me to
confirm that diagnosis,

though, is with an operation.

It could be anything
from $5,000 to $10,000.

Or we could put you
in the public system,

and I can put you
on the waiting list.

I won't lie to you.

It could be years.

Endo is considered
elective surgery.

- It shouldn't be too hard.

Splice it to the
thingamajig and brace it

with a couple of whatsits
and, yeah, Bob's your uncle.

- Clear as mud, as usual.

- See, that's why you're
logistics and I'm strategy.

- Hey, folks.

What are we doing?

- Oh, we're just
gonna give your cross

a bit of a makeover.

- Oh, well, it's just a
short stick and a long stick.

It has been for...

I don't know... A
couple thousand years.

Doesn't really need
a makeover, does it?

- Yeah, well, we're making
it bigger, more impressive.

- Oh.

- Then we can get our
cell transmitter up there.

- Cell transmitter?

- Yep.

Bring Clump into
the 21st century.

We can finally have some
internet access after...

Spock, when was the
internet invented?

- Uh, depends if you
mean, um, the internet

or if you mean the
world wide web, or...

- Okay. Just a date.

- 1991.

- Right, so finally,
after 30 years

of being behind the
rest of the world,

this is our chance to catch up.
- I don't know.

I mean, I think it's really
kind of nice here, right?

I mean, it's not like you're
missing much out there.

- Don't you wanna keep in
touch with all your friends

and family in Chicago?

- Oh, well, yeah, I
mean, obviously...

But look, I don't want to
burst anybody's bubble here,

but I really should
check in with the bishop.

- Oh, she's already
given it the green light.

She'll be online this evening.

- This evening?

Yeah... that... that... wow.

You guys move fast.

- Yep.

This evening, we broadcast
Clump to the world.

- Great.

- Have you got the hots
for me or something?

- You wish.

What's with firearms in the car?

- Shooting pigs.

You know, we, uh, heard
there's feral one around here

giving the farmers a hard time.

- You got a license for those?

- Oh, nice photo.

So Andrew, where's your dog?

- What dog?

- No sane person
goes spotlighting

without a pig dog.

- See, mate, I knew
we forgot something.

- I'd watch out for that
feral pig, if I were you.

She's deadly.

- Oh, hey.
- Hey.

- You, uh, stocking
up on strike supplies?

- The strike is done.

Yeah, we took the
mill's last offer.

- Wow.

- I mean, you saw the
difference in everyone

when they got their pay packets.

- Yeah, I'm sure the
money made a difference.

But it's a good deal,
and you guys got it

because of what you started.

You did that. Seriously.

- Thank you.

- I'm sure everybody's gonna
be buying your drinks tonight.

- I don't know if everyone wants

to buy me a drink right now.

- Right.

I heard you and Piper got
into a bit of a brawl.

- Mm.

- Well, look, maybe she's just,
um, preoccupied by something.

- Yeah. Or someone.

Come on. You cannot
be that blind.

- Yoo-hoo.

- Oh, hey.

- Hello.

Good to see you rebounding.

- No, no, no, no. We're not...

- Oh, no judgment.

I met my wife on the rebound,

and we've been
together ten years.

- I think that's great,
but we're... you know what?

Never mind. Um, I
just spoke to Lester.

- Great.

The satellite's going to be
brilliant for the community.

- No, I just think that it...

I think it sends
the wrong message.

You know, that... that the
church can somehow be bought.

- You have heard of
the Crusades, right?

Anyway, the local TV
station would like

to interview you
today at the launch.

- Me?

Um, no.

No, no, I...

It's just that I'm
a little camera shy.

- Rebel Reverend
Saves Local Church.

It's the feel-good
story of the year.

You'll be all right.

- This is the guy.
Andrew Morrow.

I think he had something to
do with the mill robbery.

- Do you ever
switch off, Baramah?

- That's a negative.

Listen, bikies in town.

He looks like their leader.

Does his name ring
a bell to you?

- No.

- He's got a list of priors,
including... get this.

Ripped off a gym,
broke into the safe.

- That could be a coincidence.

- Bikies had a pay
slip from the mill.

- So what's the plan?

- Keep an eye on them.

Wait till they screw up.
- Good. Good.

I got to get back
to Paradise Cove.

Goodbye drinks for someone I
didn't even know worked for me.

Cheers for the cuppa.
- Yeah.

- Keep me in the loop, yeah?

- Will do.

- Hey, don't do anything stupid.

Take that as a blanket order.

- Copy that.

- Boss, you know, it
hasn't been confirmed

100% yet, right?

But, uh, Jesus was definitely
a visitor from outer space.

- What?

- You trying to get us
struck down by lightning?

- Well, think about
it, right? His halo.

Big, round thing
around his head.

Looks exactly like
a space helmet.

- And you're sure it
can bear the weight?

You did check, Ron?

- Listen, love, when you're
as experienced as I am,

you don't need to
check the size.

- Uh, no, Ron.

I... I think you do.

- Load bearing
capacity, wind force.

I don't measure
these, I feel them.

- It's fine. I
have every faith.

- Oh, you haven't
seen our pergola.

- What?

- Just wondering
how the doctor went.

- Fine.

- All right, well, good then.

I have got something
you can help me with.

- I'm busy.

- Well, yeah... ye...

It's probably a little dangerous

for a teenage girl anyway.

So yeah.

- What?

- Lovely.
- Come on, Spock.

Put a bit of beef into it.

- I think I might need
you to pick up the end.

- Ease up on him, Ron.
- All right, it's got a wheel.

- Yeah.
- I put a wheel on it.

- It's 'cause you're vegan.

- All right, here's
the last one.

- Agnes is not gonna be happy.

- Well, we'll sort
out the bikers first,

and then we will worry
about Agnes, yeah?

- It's quite heavy.

- You ever get
tired of faking it?

All those balls in the air
and just think, what the hell?

I'll let them drop.

- Yeah, sure it happens.

That's what I got you
for, though, right?

Catch the ones that I miss.

- Just here in the...

- Yep, just... I'll
show you where.

Careful. Careful.
- You bend your bloody knees.

- Straight.
- For God's sake, you need to...

- Wow. You... you
guys weren't kidding.

- Well, I don't know.

I... the whole world will
know what's going on in Clump.

- Even in Chicago.

- Uh, look, I'm gonna
leave you guys to it, yeah?

We will be back.

- Well, you better pull
your finger out, Rev.

You don't want to miss the show.

- Yeah, sure. Yeah.
- All right.

- All right, let's
move this thing.

- Okay.

Just let it down gently.

Gently, gently, gently, gently!
- Mind my...

- That's the wrong side.

- Go on, take all the weight.

- Everything all right, Cam?

- Yeah. No.

Uh, yeah, sort of. Yeah.

- What is it?

- Um, it's... uh, it's...

It's probably nothing.

But you know the bikies
at the caravan park?

- What about them?

- Yeah, they just went
to go meet someone.

- Okay.

- And they... and they had guns.

And like, they were
drinking heaps.

- Did they say where
they were going?

- No, not... not exactly.

They asked me where Duncan's
Road was, so... so...

- They come back to
the caravan park,

you make yourself
scarce, all right?

- Yeah.

- Okay?

- Okay.

- Clump to Paradise Cove.

I'm attending a possible 1-2-1
in progress on Duncan's Road.

Suspects are...
- Wait. Hold on.

Is this the mill safe thing
you were just observing?

- These guys are
armed and dangerous.

I'm gonna need backup.

- Okay, but you do not
engage before backup arrives.

You understand?
No heroics, Pipe.

- Yep, copy.

Cam.
- Yeah.

- Go directly home.

- Oh, yeah. Now?

- Now.
- Yeah, okay. All right.

- Hey, guys.

Oh, come on.

You don't need those.

Yeah.

So, hey, look, I know you
guys get a lot of bad press.

But in my experience, you
guys are really punctual.

- Tell me there's
no stiff in there?

- Not yet.

Still time.

Hey, how was that drive up, huh?

I mean, are you kidding me?

It's so lush and beautiful.

You really feel like you're
in God's country right?

And he...
- Yeah, kumbaya.

- He built that thing in...
- Praise the Lord.

- Yeah.
- Let's have a look, eh?

- That's all ten boxes.

I'm gonna let you have your
own little private sniff.

So are we good?

- Yeah, we're good, Rev.

- All right.

So any time you guys want
to join in on Sunday,

be my guest.

I mean, seriously, you
look like you enjoy bread.

You look like you enjoy wine.

- Looking forward to it.

- Watch your toes.

All right, all clear.

How'd it go?

- Um, all sorted.

- Here we go.

Right on time.

- I told you you
could trust Cam.

Everyone underestimates him.

- Everyone, including Cam.

- Yeah.

- Where's her backup?

Come on.

There's four of
those assholes there.

Surely, she must have
called for backup.

- Police! Hands
where I can see them.

Don't move!

Ah.

Jesus!

- Come on. Hands
behind your back.

And back against the wheel!

- Ugh.

It's your lucky
day, you know that?

- Oi, Ma. Can we
get the internet?

- And what, so
you two can end up

on a government watch
list? I don't think so.

- We could do online dating.

Will you, um... you
help me do a profile?

- Yep. Easy as, yeah. 195
centimeters, brown hair,

face like a dropped
pie. No worries.

- I'm serious. I
want to meet someone.

My heart yearns.

It yearns.

- Mike, you realize they hook
you up with other locals?

- Yeah, you better be
careful. Could be your cousin.

- Right, so what's the
point of the internet?

- Good afternoon, everyone.

- Everyone, the bishop.

- Hello. Hello.

- Ready when you
are, Your Excellency.

- Thank you.

- If you wouldn't
mind doing the honors,

Your Royal Excellency.

- Well, I would love to.

- Thank you.

- Up you go.

- Piper to Paradise.

Where's my backup?

- Geez, it's big.

- Always with a hat.

- But where is the reverend?

Why isn't he here?

- Oh, he took off a while ago.

He will be coming.

- Yeah, so's Christmas.

- Oh, look at that.

Whoa. Whoa!

Whoa. Come on. Great!

- What are you gonna do, huh?

Shoot me?

- Three. This way.

- This is it now.

So he's just getting those bits.

- Yes.

- They're the things
you put together.

- Oh, wow. They
look impressive.

Thank you.

- Wait, uh, is it just me,

or is it leaning
a bit to the left?

- No.
- You sure?

- I think it's leaning a
little bit to the left.

- I've never been more certain.

- Yeah. No, I
think he's right.

- Oh, Christ on a bike, Margie!

- That cross is not
coming down in 100 years.

- And where on
Earth could he be?

- No idea.
- You know the rev.

He'll be late for
his own funeral.

- This is embarrassing.

Cove TV are waiting
to interview him.

I practically had
to beg them to come.

- Happy to step into the
breach, Your Excellency.

As president of the
Clump Church Council,

I speak regularly in public.
It would be an honor.

- Yeah, I think that
we'll just proceed.

We've waited long enough.
- Right you are.

- All right, ready, everyone?

- Yeah.

Ten, nine, eight,

seven, six, five,

four, three, two, one!

- And the Lord said,
"Let there be light."

Oh, crikey.

Can you...

- Oh, I got a message.

- Press a button and
it's on the YouTube.

- Mum! Mum, they're not mine.

Look. Look.

- They look like your balls.

- Tell me they're not
your ginger balls.

- Hey, Rev.

- Hey, guys.

- Fish are biting, Rev!

- Yeah, good to hear.

- I can't believe
Spock got it to work.

- Yep.

It's a miracle.

- Hey. Is everything okay?

Did Piper get them?

- You did great, kid.

- Might be my turn to
shout fish and chips.

- Sweet.

- We'll transfer them
to Paradise Cove later.

Make sure we fingerprint
all the firearms,

and the banana tool.

Most important, okay?

- Baramah! Oi, you all right?

They told me
someone shot at you.

- I'm fine. Really.

Bulletproof.

- I got held up
with some bloody...

Oi. You wrapped these
guys up on your own?

- There was someone else.

Kept me alive then took off.

- Did you get a
good look at him?

- Too fast.

- Right.

We'll talk about you disobeying
my order at a later date.

But for now, just
tell me what you got.

- Uh, 100-plus
kilos. And get this.

The boxes have a piece of
safe in every one of them too.

- Mill safe?

- Weird, right?

- Don't look a gift
horse, Constable.

- Found this in their ute.

What's the bet these bills
match the mill payroll?

- That's, uh, good work.

- Yep.

- I just want to know who
your guardian angel was

'cause I owe him, big time.

- Me too.

Me too.

Guys, bag that one.

- Can I come in?

- Sure.

- You okay?

I know today was a lot.

- I'm all right.

Are we safe here?

- Yeah, we're good.

Piper didn't see anything.

- What about Andy and Ryan?

It's only a matter of time
before they dob you in,

and if they don't get
you, the internet will.

I mean, we paid them off.

Wouldn't it have been
easier just to let them go?

- No.

People like that keep coming.

And Piper wasn't giving up
on the safe investigation

until she had her man.

So two birds with one
teenage firearm saboteur.

Listen, you did good today.

You saved Piper's
life, you saved mine.

You should be proud of yourself.

- Just lucky that
the glue worked.

You know, when I heard the
gunshot at the plantation,

I thought I missed...
- I had faith.

In you.

Listen, don't worry about
Andy and Ryan, yeah?

They're not gonna say
anything to the cops.

They're the kind of
assholes who'd rather

deal with me face to face.

- How is that any better?

- Um, because thanks to
you, we're not gonna be

seeing them for a few years.

By that time,
you'll be in Paris.

Bon nuit, mon ami.