All language subtitles for Irreverent.S01E03.720p.WEB_.h264-TRUFFLE

- Pujara leans forward
and punches it through

the covers, and he's
beaten a chasing Hazelwood.

That's a glorious stroke,

and it's going all
the way to the rope.

- I don't like it

- All due respect, Agnes,

you're not exactly
flush with options.

- I don't like you either.
- You got good company there.

You are looking at a
remote seaside church

in 2022.

I mean, they could stack
the pews with gold bullion,

and no one would come looking.

And this isn't even the
church. It's the church office.

It's kinda like a island
off the coast of an island.

- I still don't like you.
- Hey.

Hey, did you take your hat
off when you were in there?

- Yeah.
- Why?

- The church.

- I know what the
building is, man.

I'm just asking why
you took your hat off.

- You can't have your
hat on in church, mate.

Very disrespectful.

- Mate, if this gets busted, I
am moving into a two bed cell

at Indigo Valley
Maximum Security

with my sister. Yeah?

And we have some
historical issues that,

well, that might prove
slightly uncomfortable.

- I'm very sorry to hear that,
but, look, if this gets busted,

I get busted, and there
is a much worse fate

waiting for me than
a family prison cell.

- So let me get this straight.

You don't wanna
disrespect the God

that you don't believe
in, is that right?

- I didn't say I don't believe.
- So you do believe in him?

- Mate, I'm not gonna get into
the complexions of my beliefs.

All right? All I'm saying
is that when I get up there,

I'll be happy I did.

- What, took off your hat?
- Yeah.

- After filling his
sacred house of worship

with illegal tobacco.

- Exactly - Five grand a week.

- That'll be three
grand a week, altar boy.

And you'll get it at
the end of the month.

- Storage, safeguarding,
and dispatch for a month

of high personal risk
with nothing upfront, huh?

- Fine, five a week.
- Upfront.

Nothing like a Christian
contraband deal

before breakfast, eh, Agnes?

- You have a sizable pair
of balls for a priest

I'll give you that.

You're not gonna
tell me, are you?

- Tell you what?
- Who you really are.

- Me? I'm the reverend

- Catch me a fish.

- Cummins strides in to
bowl, over the wicket,

and Pujara pounces on
it, pushing it out past

extra cover, and it will
be picked up in the deep.

Nathan Lyon doing the honors.

Just a single to take
Pujara into the 60s.

Pat Cummins scratching his head.

Attack or defend,
what can you do?

Is the pitch going to crack?

Where's the downpour
coming from?

Who's he going to
throw the ball to?

Who can stop the bleeding?

So Hazelwood approaches again,
and he's slapped over cover,

one bounce to the rope,
and this is fast becoming

a humiliation for
the visitors...

- Here we go folks, VIP guests.

Fair pay! Fair pay
for a fair day!

Fair pay for a fair
day! Can I hear it?

Fair pay for a fair day!

Fair pay for a fair day!

- You've come to join us, Sarge.

I've gotta a spare
chair for you.

- I'm okay. Thanks, Keith.

- Moving on to arrests?
Bold move, Officer.

- Amy, it's your dad.

- And sends it down the leg side

and Pant has a little
push behind square,

and finds a glance that
will carry all the way down

to the boundary. No man
out there, easy runs.

- Thanks, Aidan.

- Yeah. Of course.

- Okay, well, he
wanted to be cremated.

- We can talk about
all of this later, Amy.

- We're in the middle
of a heat wave, Piper.

Leave him there any
longer, he'll turn

to a sausage sizzle.

Put him in the cool
room at the bar for now.

- I'll talk to the new rev,

get things moving
for the funeral.

- Good morning, Daisy.
- How'd you sleep?

- What the hell is that
and why is it here?

- How'd you sleep?

- Yeah, fine, good.
Thanks for asking twice.

- I had the weirdest dream.

- Super excited to
hear about that,

but, look, if that is
your donkey out there,

then I feel like there's
a conversation coming

where we're gonna have to
lay down some roommate rules.

- You were working with
Agnes, and it felt so real.

I want in.
- Excuse me?

- Whatever you're
doing, I want in.

- How old are you?

- Old enough to know that
I wanna get out of here.

And 300 bucks is not enough.

- So you're blackmailing me?
- No, I'm just trying to help

- Out of the goodness
of your own heart or...

- 500 bucks a week.
- Yeah.

So you know, that is blackmail,
and you can forget about it.

- There is no way you can
pull off being a reverend,

and if you can't do that,
there is no Agnes deal.

You need me.

- I think that I can manage
to read from an old book

for an hour a
week. Thanks, kid.

Oh, hi. Please do come in.

- Daisy, could we have a minute?

- Look, if this is about the
livestock out there, I...

- Victor Petris passed
away this morning, Rev.

- Right.

- So the Palm Sunday service
today will be little somber.

And then we need to get started.

- Get started?
- Funeral preparation.

- It could be huge.

- It could be meaningful, Peter.

- Of course.
- No, no.

I mean, I... It's not
like I knew the guy.

I can't bury him.

- It's your church, and
you will be presiding.

- Rev, the whole
town is in mourning.

- Consider the opportunity here.

Consider the people
coming through our doors.

- Consider the grieving
friends and family, Peter.

- Problem, Rev?
- Um, no.

I... can... can you
just give me one second?

- All right, here's the deal,

you don't say anything to anyone

and you help me get
through whatever busts in

are apparently
unlockable front door.

- Oh, I thought it
was just reading

from an old book once a week

- And I thought I saved your ass

from the bogans yesterday.

Hello?

- How much?

- Your first job is to get me
out of doing a funeral, hm?

- How much?
- 50 bucks a week.

- 500.
- Ah, no, 300,

and I won't charge you rent.

- How long?
- As long as it takes for me

to get paid and get the
hell out of this place.

- I mean, but you're
doing that funeral.

- There is no more
bullshit hour anywhere,

anytime than a
funeral. They are lies.

Murders and tax avoiders
are suddenly the Dali Lama?

It's propaganda.

Look, was the dead
guy even a Christian?

Did he want a church funeral?

And who thought to put
the clergy in all black?

I mean, they must have sent
them all over the world.

Some of those places
had to have been hot.

I mean, you'd think somebody
would've learned their lesson.

- First things first,
Palm Sunday service.

Consider it the warmup
you so very badly need.

- Look, what's with Palm Sunday?

I mean every Sunday has to be
Palm Sunday around here, right?

I mean they're everywhere.

And... and the donkey, I
mean, come on, what is that?

Some sort of alternative mode
of transportation for you guys?

- Palm Sunday is where Jesus
rides into town on a donkey.

- Right.
- So I hope you are better

at donkey riding than
you are with the Bible.

- Wait, what?

Wait a second, this
is the hardware?

- Oi.

- That actually makes
a lot of sense now.

Hey, so, like, Renee does
actual hardware stuff too.

Like, she could change
the locks on the manse?

- Yeah.
- Oh, thank God.

Wow, that looks delicious.
Are you kidding me?

This has been here
the whole time?

- Hey, Renee.
- Oh, morning, Daisy.

This the new rev?

- Guilty.
- Ah, good to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.
- Go on, grab a seat.

- Great.
- Thank you.

Prayers.

Prayers will keep
you out of trouble.

So if anything happens,
just start a prayer, yeah?

- Someone else will
do the eulogy, right?

- Stop, the funeral's
tomorrow's problem.

And if you don't get
through Palm Sunday,

you won't be here long
enough for the funeral.

- Okay, so go.
- Our main issue is Peter.

- Yeah. What is
up with that guy?

- Peter lives in fear of
the church being closed,

and he really knows his Bible,

so he'll know that
you're a total fraud.

Just stick to the scripts.

I know it'll be boring as,

but he can't argue
with the book.

- Yeah, fine, yeah,
got it. Boring's fine.

- Just... just let
me handle Peter.

Okay? I reckon I
can get rid of him.

- Yeah, fine, whatever.

Wait, you were kidding
about the donkey, right?

Mate.

Words.

Irreplaceable.

Hey Les, is... is this
gonna affect opening hours?

Everybody's in terrible shock,

but people wanna know.

- Better ask Amy.
It's her bar now.

- What are you talking about?

- Your dad left
the place to you.

It was always the
plan. I got the boat.

- He was your boyfriend.
- He was your dad.

- Funeral is tomorrow.
- Amy.

Amy, this place is his legacy.

It's... You're not
gonna sell it, are you?

- God, Lester, shall we get
him in the ground first?

- Your dad was connected
to everyone, you know?

It's... this place
can keep that alive.

- Cheers, Vic.

Oh.

happy Palm Sunday.
Happy Palm Sunday.

- Good on you, Peter.
- Morning, Francis.

Good morning, Francis.

Anywhere you want, gents.

There'll be a few
more coming, I'm sure.

- Hey, come on. Come on

- Just one minute, Rev.

- All right. Uh, good morning.

Um, today's reading

is gonna be

from page...

page 344.

It's just about halfway down.

David was the father of Solomon

whose mother had
been Uriah's wife.

Jehoshaphat the
father of Jehoram...

Ahaz the father of Hezekiah...

Coniah and his brothers...
- Reverend!

- At the time of the
exile to Babylon.

- Just give me one! One!

- And Mary was the
mother of Jesus

who is called the Messiah.

Amen.

So...

Let us pray.
- Reverend!

- Dear God, we
pray to you for...

- Pause the sermon!
- Pizza.

Hot, fresh food
for the hungry...

And heat for the cold.

- Mack!

Amen.

- Aidan made that, didn't he?
- Yep.

- I'm fine.

- Thought you could use
a hand with the funeral.

- No.

- There's a lot of
admin when someone dies.

- Thank you for your
concern, Officer.

- I'm happy to make a call or...
- I said I'm fine.

- Grief is...
- Yes, Piper.

Please tell me what grief is.

I'd love to hear a
police perspective on it.

- I know you and
your dad were close.

- Was that before or after
he walked out on me and mom

and then shacked up with
someone else straight away?

Because that just makes life
in a small town so easy.

- I do remember, mate.
- Do you?

Because all I remember
is you leaving

about three minutes later.

Go on. You've
comforted the bereaved.

You've done your job.

You can go and put that
in your police report now.

- You know that's
not why I'm here.

- Honestly, Piper, I have
no idea why you're here.

- How short can a funeral be?

Yeah, just... just give
me a ballpark here.

- You know, I'm not
actually a reverend myself.

- Yeah. You signed
up for this, kid.

- Victor was popular.

You're gonna have
to get it together

or questions will be asked.

- Is that coffee?
- Hey, Harry.

- Hey, Daisy. We
got a problem.

The power's off again, Rev.

- Yeah, it sounds like
you need an electrician

more than you need
a... well, me.

- The fridge is off at the bar.

- Okay, so warm beer. British
tourists will be happy.

- Vic's in the fridge.
He's gonna start to smell.

- Uh, yeah, well, so why
are you telling me, man?

- Who should I be telling?
- I don't know, the undertaker?

- Yeah, that's, um, you.

Plus, you know, you did
knock over the power pole.

- Didn't somebody fix that?

- Ron's been trying
to put it up,

but it keeps falling over.

- Hey. Hey, what's up?

Cam, what's up?

- Hi, Sheriff.
- Is it life or death?

- Uh, it's... it's kind of both.

Um, I need the hearse.

- We've had that
discussion, Reverend.

- No, I get it.

You've got a job
to do, but so do I.

And apparently today,
it's escorting a corpse

to the crematorium.

- Get someone else to do it.
- Okay, yeah.

Fine. Can you do it?

Or you know what?
I'll ask Lester.

Apparently, he's been drinking
since, like, 9:00 a.m.

but he knows the roads
pretty well, right?

And... oh, you know
what? I got it.

I'll just tie him to the
back of Cameron's bike,

and we'll drag him.

So, officer,
instructor, excuse me.

How am I doing?

- Two hands for
beginners. Ten and two.

- You okay?
- Yep. I'm great.

So, tell me, um,

Victor was kind of a big
deal around here, huh?

- Really big. No
part of this town

Vic didn't have
something to do with.

But quietly, you know?
He just got things done.

- So, like, in terms
of the... the service,

it's, like, a...
A lot of interest?

- Oh, yeah. Pretty
much a state funeral.

- Great.

Is there, like, a law against

working AC in cars around here?

- No, but there is a
law against speeding

in a designated school zone.
When you get to your next turn,

slow down and
indicate and take it.

- Indicate what?
- Use your blinker.

- Oh, right. Yes,
looking both ways.

- Just pull over.

- Wait, what are you doing?

- Your miles to
kilometers conversion

needs some serious practice.

- Little fast, huh?

Maybe I just need a
couple more lessons.

- Or I could put probation
plates on the hearse.

You can drive it
like a teenager.

I'll take it from here, Rev.

- What? Really?

- Really.

Out you get, junior.

- Can I see 20,000
to start me off?

- Yes.

- 20,000 at the
front. Can I see 22?

22, the far left.

Can I see $25,000.

25 in the back.

Can I see 30,000?
32,000.32 over here.

- Rev Mack, how are
you? How are the people?

How's the weather?
What's happening?

Tell me everything.
- How do I blow off a funeral?

- Oh, boy. A funeral already.

That's a... That's
a double ouchie.

- Yeah. Is there
any way out of it?

- Well, did they
ask you already?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, that ship has
bolted, my friend.

I mean, it's a small town.

You don't show,
questions will be asked.

It'd be just plain weird.
- All right.

Well then, Mackenzie, I'm gonna
need you to run me through it.

- Oh, that's a big
ask over the phone.

- Or I can screw it up,

and they'll kick
me out of Clump,

and we both get hunted
down and executed.

- Actually, they're
not that hard.

I mean, it sounds like
you're grieving, right? 325?

- I cannot believe they put you
in charge of a congregation.

- Okay, listen to me,

slip a little Baileys
into your coffee,

and you will sail
right through the wake.

- 38,000 going once.

- Hey, listen with art
older is better, am I right?

- Where are you?

- And what's, like, a
good amount of art to buy?

Because some of this
stuff...

I'm gonna tell you, it
feels like it's overpriced,

and, honestly, I don't even
think it's that accurate.

- I have no idea what
you are talking about,

but if I am bankrolling
some pathetic attempt

to win back your wife, I swear
I am gonna make you regret it.

- You know what? I'm
gonna go with older.

Yes, it feels, you
know, classier,

more sophisticated.
Thank you, Paulo.

- Mackenzie, I promise you...
- Paddle up over here.

55 Gs. Shut it down.

- Uh, hey, Cam.
- Oh, hey, Rev.

- You getting into
grave robbing?

- Funeral. My dog.

- Right. Yes, in the graveyard

- Thought we give everyone
a chance to say goodbye.

I put 2:00 p.m. on the signs,

so people should be here.
They all knew Guinness.

- I mean, grief really affects
people in different ways.

- Anyway, he deserves
a proper sendoff, Rev.

I'm gonna put him
between Reverend Sukmar

and Reverend White. Yeah,
they both loved Guinness.

I just...

I think that's Reverend
Sukmar actually.

Sorry.

Used to wait for me when
I got home from school.

He slept beside me.

This one time, I went
away on camp for a weekend

and when I came back,
he nearly lost his mind.

It was like he was just...
He was just sitting there

waiting for me to come back.

Still loving me even when
he wasn't looking at me.

Hey, Rev, maybe... maybe
you could say a few words.

- Yes, yes, of
course. Of course.

God...

we deliver into your
care Guinness...

Who never stopped
loving Cameron...

- Even when I was on camp.
- Even when he was on camp.

So a couple of hymns,
a reading or two,

I'll say some nice
things about the guy,

short, simple, done. Boom.

- Yeah. You got it.

- What is up with that thing?

I mean, Chicago
is below freezing

for most of the winter.

You hardly ever see anybody
using one of those anymore.

- You need to make it Victor's.
- What?

- To land the funeral.

Keep, you know, the
readings and the hymns.

That's all fine, but you need
to make it Victor's funeral.

Specifically his.

- I didn't know the guy.
- Yeah.

Well, when my mom died,

we lit sparkles on
the beach at night,

and she loved beach fires,

so we made one that the
whole town held high.

That's all I remember

and really all that mattered.

- Sorry, I didn't know
that your mom was dead.

- You never asked.

- What about your dad?

- Night, Rev.

- Night, kid.

- And so it comes to
pass that Marshall Kegan

is entrusted into your
greater care, oh, Lord.

All the tender care
and steadfast joy

that he gave to those he
loved throughout his own life.

It's important to remember,
young man, that we carry those

who pass in our hearts forever.
Your dad was a good man.

We'll remember him
that way, always.

- Oh, my God! My...

Don't... don't you people
have houses of your own?

- Just dropping off his ashes.
- How did you get in?

- With a key.

- I changed the locks,
like, yesterday.

- Yeah, all good. Renee
gave us all the new ones.

- Wait, Amy.

Amy... Amy can you
tell me about your dad?

- Okay, sure.

He woke up one morning,
realized he was gay,

and then ditched my mom to
run off with a fat barman.

That work?

- I don't know that
I'm gonna start there.

- Let's just focus on
scattering the ashes.

He wanted to be in the water.

- How about you just write
down some bullet points

and you leave them in
the kitchen, please?

- People liked him.
- Anything else?

- He liked fishing and cricket.

- Oh, good, well, it's
gonna be short at least.

- I'm sorry. I haven't
prepared an essay,

but maybe when your dad
dies, you'll understand.

- Well, I was 12 and a
little more preoccupied

with baseball cards,
but I get your point.

Amy, your dad wasn't
perfect. I get it.

But believe me, there are
truly bad fathers out there,

and if he wasn't one of 'em,
then you should do it right.

You wanna leave
those in the kitchen?

I'll find somewhere safe
in the church to keep 'em.

- Yeah.

Oh, no.

- Well, now we're screwed.

- Yeah, no kidding.

I'm about to give
my first funeral

in front of an
entire grieving town,

and I've just spilled
the ashes of the deceased

on some wooden steps
because of a donkey.

And I have nothing
to say about the guy,

except for the fact
that his name was Victor

and he liked cricket.

So please tell me that you
got something to add to that.

- He was Lithuanian.
- That is good.

I can use that.
Please more, more.

- He... he supported
the Indian team.

- Good, yeah.

Good, still cricket,
just even more specific.

Hey, why India?

What do you think?

We could... uh, we can burn
some of the palm branches?

- No, no, human ashes
are very different.

We're animals. We have bones.

- Animals have bones, huh?

- You did go to
school right, Rev?

- I got an idea. Come on.

I don't know, kiwi,
ham, and broccoli.

- Ugh.

- Got a little
salty, little sweet.

- No way.

Hello?

- Yeah. Okay.

- Hey.

- Hey. Hey, Rev.

- Hey, buddy.

So, listen, Daisy
and I were thinking

that maybe you would
like to give Guinness

a proper sendoff.
What do you think?

- You think you can get a
couple people to come along?

- Cam, I think I can get
the whole town there.

How's that?

- Yeah, that'd be really great.
- Also, I'm just curious.

Do you know anything
about cricket?

- Like crickets? Yeah.

Yeah, they're
orthopteran insects

with six legs or maybe eight.

- Never mind.
- Oh.

Hello.

Anybody home?

Ah, hi. You must
be Tropical Tess.

- Yeah.
- You still doing pizzas?

- No.
- Ah, it didn't catch on, huh?

- No.

- Ah, I mean, you
were probably just

ahead of your time with

the lychee cheese
beetroot explosion.

- Cream of the cheese offsets
the sweetness of the lychee.

- And then... Then
you got the beetroot.

- Exactly.

- Does your oven still work?

- Yeah.
- You just got the one or?

- Six ovens.

- Okay. Tess, I'm
gonna level with you.

This is gonna be
an unusual request.

- My condolences.

Vic would've been
thrilled to see you here.

Don't forget we're
back open Sundays.

Open Sunday mornings again.

Expect to see you
both here and you two.

10:00 a.m. Sundays. We
don't just do funerals.

Oh, jeez.

- Hey.

- Uh, look, if you're
gonna arrest me

for some sort of
traffic violation,

can it wait, like, an hour? I've
got a... a thing for Victor.

- I got you a temporary
driving permit.

- Really?

- Slow down, stay left,
and watch out for wildlife.

- Yeah, can do. Um, thanks.

- So where are the ashes?
- Huh?

- The ashes, they can't
find them in the church.

- I mean, right.

They... they... they wouldn't.
I mean, they're on the way.

- From where, Chicago?

- No, I... It's...
It's kind of a thing.

Traditionally, the ashes
are the last to arrive.

It's the entrance
of the deceased.

- So you're all set?

- No. Mm-mm.

I am about to send
a guy off to heaven,

and I got more questions
than answers about him.

- Like what?

- Well, I know that he's a...

Was... he was a Eastern
European immigrant

who lived in Australia,

but everybody keeps
talking about how he rooted

for the Indian cricket team.

- Care to shed
any light on that?

- Yeah, yeah, I can.

- Come on, man.

- Hey, Rev, everyone's
waiting. It's gotta start.

- Yeah, okay.

Come on, Cam.

- Oh, thank God.

- Grab a seat folks.

And so it has come to
pass that Victor Petris

is entrusted into your
greater care, oh, Lord,

that which we cannot
imagine here on Earth.

Victor was...

Sorry.

Does this seem weird
to anybody else?

I mean the...
the... this outfit,

the book, the... the
building, it... I mean,

we're here to celebrate a
guy that hadn't set foot

in this place in, I
don't know, was it years?

All right, everybody,
on your feet.

Yeah, up. Let's go.

Follow me.

- Now, come on
everybody. This way.

- You think Vic will mind, Rev?
- Not at all pal.

- I didn't know, Victor. I
know that he didn't say much.

He was a bit too busy

being thoroughly absorbed
in fishing and cricket,

the two slowest and
most uneventful sports

in the history of the world.

I mean, at least with fishing,

you get something to eat, right?

Cricket, I am reliably informed,

features five-day games

that routinely don't
even have a winner.

Victor rooted for the
Indian cricket team.

A group of people
competing in a sport

that he had never
played for a country

that he had never
even been near.

But Victor rooted for
India because he knew

that when Australia won,

a few million people were happy
for an afternoon at a barbecue.

But when India won,
man, a billion people

would party in the
streets for a week.

When India won global happiness
just shot through the roof.

He never been to India.
He'd never met her people.

But somehow from...
from across oceans,

he felt the power of
their collective joy.

Now I am not gonna stand here

and pretend that
I am into cricket

or that I'm really into
fishing for that matter.

But Victor loved all of you,

even when you weren't looking.

And I can get into that.

- Nice touch.

You
get to be a fish.

- You must be hungry.
- Thank you.

He would've loved that.

I'll be right back.

- Oi, you lot,
who wants a drink?

- This one is on Victor.

- That was beautiful.

- See you, Guinness.

- What's up with the
bathroom being locked again?

- Because there's
someone in there.

- Who?

- At least is getting
them to church, kind of.

- Yeah.
- I've got something for you.

- Really hope it's not
whatever is on this toast.

- At least look at the pictures.

- Thanks.

- I'm only in this
for the cash, bozo.

I'm gonna turn in early.

- Night, kid.

- Night Rev. You
did all right today.

- I guess it's gonna be a while
until we talk then, eh, Dad?

Maybe I can tell you
some stuff anyway.

- He's in Australia.

- What are you waiting for?
- Yeah.