Original subtitles

♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah ♪ Donkey Kong ♪ Hey-oh

♪ Look out down below ♪ Here he comes

♪ Banana slamma

♪

♪ Donkey Kong ♪

♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah, Donkey Kong

♪

♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah, Donkey Kong ♪ Hey-oh

♪ Look out down below ♪ Here he comes

♪ Banana slamma ♪ Kongo Bongo"s hero ♪

♪ Hey-oh ♪ Donkey Kong, let"s go ♪

♪ Let"s go ♪

♪ Here he comes ♪ Banana slamma

CRANKY: "“Twas the night

before the festival, and all

through the cabin, not a

creature was stirrin", no

gorillas were gabbin."”

The banana peels were tossed by

the piano with care, in hopes

that more bananas soon would be there.

Mmm... Bananas.

That"s my favourite part of the holiday.

That"s your favourite part of

any day, DK!

[Laughing]

What"s your favourite part

of the holiday, little buddy?

Opening presents, especially

when it"s a junior jungle gym,

complete with mega monkey bars!

[Laughing]

Diddy... How did you know?

That"s just what I always wanted.

[Chuckling]

What"s your favourite part of

the holiday, Cranky?

The truce between lizards and apes.

The Kongo Bongo Festival of

Lights is the one day a year we

don"t have to worry about that

pond gack K. Rool trying to

steal the Crystal Coconut!

DK: The one day a year it"s

completely safe.

♪

KLUMP: Squadron 10!

Your mine car is clear for

take-off on track 7.

It"s a low clearance tunnel so

watch your...

[Crashing]

Heads... >> That"s the last of the

Kritter troops, sir.

Everybody"s gone to celebrate

the Kongo Bongo Festival of

Lights day with their families.

Splendid, just splendid!

Well, you know my holiday motto,

right, Klump?

Yes sir!

Even cerebrally challenged

homespun pinhead subordinates

need to spend time with their

scaly loved ones.

Speaking of cerebrally

challenged, where"s Krusha?

He"s in the vault, sir.

He"s rummaging through all your

junk to see if he can find

something festive to bring home

for the holidays.

I found somethin...

K. ROOL: What have you got

there, Krusha?

Ooh, ooh, ooh, candles!

Those aren"t candles!

Those are...

Fireworks.

I just love fireworks.

They"re my favourite part o' the holiday.

Oh, my favourite part is

going back to the swamplands to

play gator-games with all my

slithering siblings.

We just roll around in the muck

all day, drinking bog-nog and

exchanging villain stories...

And then later, we will gorge

on one of mummy"s home-made mud pies!

Oh, I can almost smell it now... [Sniffing]

Whoa!

Well, General, I"m off!

Happy Festival of Lights Day!

Same to you, your

sinister slipperiness, sir.

Better hurry, Krusha...

Your family"s waiting.

Bye, bye... >> Happy holidays!

KRUSHA: Aren"t you going home?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, sure, I was just,

um... lockin" up!

Oh, I got a big day planned, uh,

wouldn"t miss it for the world.

Yeah, you go on, you silly

salamander, and I... I order you

to have fun!

D"okay, uh, bye bye...

And remember to watch your...

KRUSHA: Oof!

Head.

[Sighing]

Well, I may not have

anywhere to go, but at least

I"ve got the whole place to myself.

♪ I"ve always been the only one ♪

♪ All on my own, just a wayward son ♪

♪ And I bet they"re all together

eatin" pizza mud-pies ♪

♪ As they cozy on the sofa

watching swamp gas rise ♪

♪ I"ve got no family tree ♪

♪ Just a bush, a twig, a branch,

a sapling, that"s me ♪

♪ I never had no next of kin

♪ Just a few hundred teeth, and oily skin ♪

♪ And I still remember mama"s

rotten turtle egg stew ♪

♪ And her beetle sandwiches and

picnics too ♪

♪ I got no family tree

♪ Just a bush, a twig, a branch,

a sapling, that"s me ♪

♪ I got no family tree

♪ No one to celebrate the

Festival with me ♪

[Sobbing]

As I recall, when I was a

kid, someone taught me a little

poem to cheer me up... Now what was it?

Oh yeah, I remember now.

♪ Whenever you"re sad ♪

♪ Lonely as can be

♪ Just remember me...

Huh.

Dag-newt, what was that last line?

Huh, oh well, no matter.

There"s no one to hear but me anyway.

DK: This year"s Festival of

Lights is gonna be the best

ever, little buddy!

Wait till you see my fireworks display!

I"d rather see my presents.

Oh, tell me what you got me, DK!

Please, please, tell me, please!

Okay, but you can"t tell

anybody, because I got the same

gift for everyone.

It"s big... >> Yeah?

It"s beautiful!

Yeah?

It"s a banana!

Yeah-ha... Huh?

[Laughing]

Yeah right, as if!

No, seriously, what did ya get me?

No, no, don"t tell me.

Let it be a surprise.

Yeah, a surprise.

Sure.

[Sniffing]

Mmm... I smell... banana cream pie!

Hi, DK!

Hi, Creamy!

Uh, I mean Candy.

I thought you"d be on the

beach setting up the fireworks display.

You know how much I love your

banana cream pies.

Well not as much as you"re

gonna love the present I got you!

Uh... Present?

No peeking until later.

I can"t wait to see what you got me.

Ah, I gotta go.

Hey, Donkey Dude!

Hi, Funky, going surfing?

Negative, D-man, I"m trippin'

a move to Cranky"s to deliver

your present.

You"ll be cruisin' your karma

on a high tide real soon!

[Laughing]

It sounds like everyone got

me really great presents.

Oh, not everyone!

I"m sure Cranky got you the same

useless gift he gets you every year...

BOTH: Glow in the dark pyjamas.

My gift will make up for it.

Ooh, speaking of which, I better

go wrap it.

You better start setting up

those fireworks, otherwise the

only thing lighting up the sky

tonight will be your pyjamas!

[Laughing]

How can I think about

fireworks when I have to get new

presents for everyone?

Oh, what am I gonna do?

I know!

DK: Oh, you gotta help me,

Inka Dinka Doo!

I"m desperate!

What should I do?

Look into the heart of your

enemy to discover the greatest

gift of all... >> Uh... Say what?

Thanks to Inka Dinka Doo"s

Inky Dinky stinky advice, now

I"ve wasted even more time, and now I...

[Crashing]

[Gasping]

The enemy...

You wouldn"t hit a lizard with

glasses, would ya?

I can"t.

It"s the Kongo Bongo Festival of

Lights day, a truce between

lizards and apes?

Good, "cause I don't even

know an optometrist.

It"s good to know I'm not the

only one who"s alone for the holidays.

Oh, I"m not alone.

I"m meeting my friends later at

the beach for a big party!

Then I guess I am the only

one all alone today.

Aren"t you behind enemy lines?

Well I w... I was just, uh,

well, to be honest, I... I come

out here every year to see the fireworks.

I just love them fireworks!

Well, there isn"t goin' to be any.

No fireworks?

But that"s all I got!

Sorry, but I have to find

presents for all my friends first.

Say, uh... Being a truce and all...

Maybe I could help you find them presents!

You mean it?

Affirmative!

And, uh... Maybe in return, you"d let me

have a front-row seat for them

fireworks, huh?

It"s a deal!

Arr, mateys.

It"s Kongo Bongo's Festival of

Lights Day, the day of the legendary truce.

So I"s be thinkin', what better

day to steal the Crystal Coconut

from the unsuspectin" apes...

then on the day they ain "t suspectin"?

Aye, and what better gift to

steal than the one ye be wantin"

most, eh, Capitain?

There be one thing I be

wanting more than the Crystal

Coconut, mateys.

It"s something I lost years ago.

[Sighing]

But I can"t take what be lost.

But I can take everything else!

So let"s be doing what pirates do best!

ALL: Steal booty!

DK: Wow!

There"s so many cool things in here!

Take whatever ya want, I"m

sure King K. Rool wouldn"t miss

half the junk in there.

You should see all the great

stuff I"m finding!

Hey, what are all these clown clothes for?

Uh... yeah, you better

leave those behind.

Thanks to you, I have great

presents for everyone!

I wish I had someone to give

presents to... and a warm house

to go home to... and knitted

slippers with webbed toes...

and bog-nog, and home made mud pies...

♪ Whenever you"re sad ♪

♪ Lonely as can be ♪ Just remember me...

Remember... who?

I dunno, I can never

remember the last part.

All I know is someone sang it to

me when I was knee-high to a

newt, and I can"t remember who... >> Hey!

I found the perfect gifts!

Well done, soldier!

What are they?

Candles!

KLUMP: No!

Those are... Fireworks.

I thought they looked kinda familiar.

What"s taking DK so long?

He should"ve finished setting up

the fireworks by now.

I"ll go check on him.

Don"t worry, Cranky, DK knows

how important today is.

He wouldn"t goof off.

Wheeeeeeee!

[Snoring]

Whoa!

General Klump!

I"ve found the perfect gift for everyone!

Mine cars!

Hey, what"s this lever for?

Don"t pull the lever!

Whoa!

Maybe this isn"t the perfect

gift, after all.

Uh, bad news, Cranky.

DK... wasn"t at the pier.

That numbskull!

I'll bet he hasn"t even started

setting up the fireworks, has he?

No... but it gets worse.

DK"s the master of ceremonies!

Who"s gonna carry the Crystal Coconut?

SKURVY: D'arrr.

Pick me, pick me!

I told you it got worse!

Skurvy!

What brings your skanky hide to

Kongo Bongo?

I come to claim me birthright.

The Crystal Coconut!

Isn"t there anything else you

ever want, besides the Crystal Coconut?

Y"aye, there be one thing I

be wantin", even more than the

Crystal Coconut, but even a

pirate can"t have everything he wants...

Now hand over the Crystal

Coconut, or I"ll blow ya to bitties!

At least he"s not stealing

the presents!

Thar be more booty?

You wouldn"t dare.

Aye, I would, "cause...

ALL: Pirates be pure scum!

Donkey Kong!

I can"t believe I didn't

think of this earlier.

Everyone loves books, and King

K. Rool has hundreds!

What do you think would make a

great gift, General Klump?

How about a pair of gator

galoshes with monkey fur linin"?

"Cause that's what we" ll be if

King K"rool finds out we've been

snoopin" around in his personal library.

[Gasping]

Intruders!

No, you invited me!

No, on the island!

BOTH: Pirates!

The Crystal Coconut!

Oh no!

KLUMP: But it"s Festival of

Lights Day, don"t they know

about the truce?

Yeah, but pirates don"t honour truces!

BOTH: They be pure scum!

Heaven only knows what I"ll

be when King K. Rool finds out

that the Crystal Coconut was stolen...

By someone other than me!

Not if you help me stop them!

Where in boiled bananas have you been?

Shopping?

What?

Everyone got me really great

presents, so I just wanted all

of your presents to be special, too!

Well good for you, you knucklehead.

In the meantime, Skurvy"s stolen

all the presents, and the Crystal Coconut!

What"ll we do, DK?

Don"t worry, I've got an idea.

Now I"m worried.

But I"ll need his help.

Howdy there, neighbours!

Pond gack!

Truce or no truce, hide the

Crystal Coconut!

Uh, it"s already stolen.

Oh yeah, which reminds me...

What are we all standing around for?

I only see Kutlass and Green Kroc.

[Loudly] What are we lookin"

at?

[Shushing]

All you have to do is keep a

lookout for Skurvy, Diddy and I

will take care of the rest.

Affirmative!

Hip-hup!

DIDDY: Shush, will ya?!

[Quietly] Hip-hup, hip-hup, hip-hup...

Looks like we be all done!

Arr, what about the rest of the booty?

What booty?

DIDDY: That thar booty on the beach!

Skurvy didn"t say nothin'

about booty on the beach.

You tink we should take it?

DK AND DIDDY: Aye!

"Cause you be pure scum!

Arrr!

BOTH: Arrr, that we be!

[Diddy chuckling]

Your plan is working, DK!

Like I said, little buddy,

nothing can go wrong.

Oh, I could think of somethin...

Huh?

Your plan was as stinky as bilge water.

What were ya thinkin"?

That me mates would load the

ship down with fireworks, then

ye"d bargain for the Crystal

Coconut by threatenin" to blow us to bits?

Yep, that"s pretty much it.

I be thankin" ya, 'cause ya

saved me the trouble o" stealin'

"em!

At long last, the Crystal Coconut!

It be the only booty I ever be

truly wantin"!

I thought there was something

else you were searching for.

Aye.

It be me long lost brother.

♪ Whenever you"re sad ♪

♪ And lonely as can be ♪ Just remember me

♪ Your big brother, Skurvy >> Arr.

Now where have I heard that before?

Set sail for shark-infested waters.

I wanna finish these land-lubbers off!

I am bound, by loyalty to my

superior, to fight till the

death, to retrieve the Crystal Coconut.

BOTH: Fight to the death?

Even pirates don"t fight to the death.

Yeah, well, I admit I"ve

never actually had to fight to

the death, but I"m bound by

lizard law to say it.

But I have blown things to bits,

so hand over the Crystal

Coconut, ya scum-sucking seadog.

Who"re you calling a

scum-sucking seadog, you

scum-sucking swamp-sucker!

Why you little trent-toed...

I"ll skin ya for shark bait,

y'overweight land-lubber!

Hah!

Are these two of the biggest

goofus-doofuses you"ve ever laid

eyes on, or what?

Yeah, it"s pretty sad.

Sad!

That"s it!

What are ya talking about?

The poem.

♪ Whenever you"re sad ♪

♪ Lonely as can be

♪ Just remember me

♪ Your big brother, Skurvy

Arrr.

♪ Whenever you"re sad ♪

♪ Lonely as can be ♪ Just remember me

♪ Your big brother, Skurvy

Yeah, that"s it!

That"s the last line!

But how did you know the endin"?

How did ye know it at all?

Little brother!

Big brother!

Run for cover!

Fireworks... >> They be me favourite...

Mine too!

That "s 'cause as a young" un,

ye played with "em, and set the

swamps on fire, burnin" us outta

house and home.

I did?

I did!

I remember now, and then... and then you...

You took the blame for me!

I was run outta the swamps

faster than you could say "“Get

outta here, ya little arson dirt-bag."”

Why d"ya think I went off to sea

to become a pirate?

Ya silly seadog.

You did all that for me?

That"s what family's for.

CRANKY: Well, DK, it"s not

the way I would have done it, I

gotta admit, this is the best

Kongo Bongo Festival of Lights Day ever...

Yeah, but all of the presents

got blown up.

Now we have nothing to celebrate

Festival of Lights Day with!

Today isn"t about presents,

it"s about being with family.

That must be what Inka Dinka

Doo was trying to tell me.

"“Look into the heart of your

enemy to discover the greatest

gift of all!"”

And the greatest gift of all

is spending time with family and friends.

Yeah, even villains need family.

CRANKY: Speaking of which, I

wonder what K. Rool thinks of

his new house-guests!

[Chuckling]

SKURVY: Arrr, the sea was

angry that day, brother, and so

was the great white I be fightin" off...

A day I remember well.

[Crashing]

That shark be the biggest,

meanest, ugliest thing ye ever

set yer eyes on!

I dunno... once King K. Rool

had a goitre the size of a watermelon.

It was pretty darn-near the

ugliest thing I"ve ever seen.

[Laughing]

General Klump, what is going on?

King K. Rool, you"ll never believe it!

I found my family!

Skurvy here"s my long-lost brother!

If you think this low-life,

mooching scally-wag scum of a

brother of yours is staying

here, you are sadly mistaken, Klump.

No, sir!

He"s not stayin'.

I"m leavin'!

What?!

I"m gonna become a seadog!

BOTH: Pure scum!

You"re not leaving!

I forbid it!

Says you.

Don"t point that thing at me.

I"ll skin you with my teeth, you

over-stuffed piece of shark bait!

Who ya callin" over-stuffed,

ya ten-ton lard-back lump o"

pond scum?

I can"t believe it.

They... they"re fightin'!

Over me!

K. ROOL: Listen here, you

uneducated saltwater swabby scab!

SKURVY: Ye should know, ya

bulgy-eyed bookworm!

K. ROOL: You thick-headed tadpole!

This is the best Festival of

Lights Day ever!

You good-for-nothing, slimy

sack of scum-sucking scourge!

Hey, leave my mother outta this.

Brainless buccaneer.

Whale bait!

Beefy-tongue.

Blubber butt!

Vile vermin.

Pond-toothed pond gack!

Malfunctioning twit!

Bilge rat!

Slimy-skinned bottom-feeder!

Yellow-bellied land-lubber!

You useless newt!

Diseased ruffian!

♪