Original subtitles

¶

¶ Huh, ha ¶ ¶ Huh, ha ¶ ¶ Donkey Kong ¶

¶ Huh, ha ¶ ¶ Donkey Kong ¶ ¶ Hey oh ¶

¶ Donkey Kong ¶ ¶ Hey oh ¶ ¶ Look out down below ¶

¶ Hey oh ¶ ¶ Look out down below ¶ ¶ Here he comes,

¶ Look out down below ¶ ¶ Here he comes, banana slamma ¶

¶

¶ Donkey Kong ¶

¶ Huh, ha ¶ ¶ Huh, ha ¶ ¶ Donkey Kong ¶

¶

¶ Huh, ha ¶ ¶ Huh, ha ¶ ¶ Donkey Kong ¶

¶ Huh, ha ¶ ¶ Donkey Kong ¶ ¶ Hey oh ¶

¶ Donkey Kong ¶ ¶ Hey oh ¶ ¶ Look out down below ¶

¶ Hey oh ¶ ¶ Look out down below ¶ ¶ Here he comes,

¶ Look out down below ¶ ¶ Here he comes, banana slamma ¶

¶ Here he comes, banana slamma ¶ ¶ Kongo Bongo's hero ¶

banana slamma ¶ ¶ Kongo Bongo's hero ¶ ¶ Hey oh ¶

¶ Kongo Bongo's hero ¶ ¶ Hey oh ¶ ¶ Donkey Kong ¶

¶ Hey oh ¶ ¶ Donkey Kong ¶ ¶ Let's go, let's go ¶

¶ Donkey Kong ¶ ¶ Let's go, let's go ¶ ¶ Here he comes,

¶ Let's go, let's go ¶ ¶ Here he comes, banana slamma ¶

¶

>> Hiyah!

(Monkey chittering) >> The measurement of the elliptical path between the sun

>> The measurement of the elliptical path between the sun and the moon, blah, blah,

elliptical path between the sun and the moon, blah, blah, blah...

and the moon, blah, blah, blah... (Mechanical whirring)

blah... (Mechanical whirring) Hmm, that's it!

(Mechanical whirring) Hmm, that's it! Ha-ha!

Hmm, that's it! Ha-ha! I figured it out.

Ha-ha! I figured it out. Once again, I'm the superior

I figured it out. Once again, I'm the superior simian.

Once again, I'm the superior simian. The head banana.

simian. The head banana. The celestial chimp of cosmic

The head banana. The celestial chimp of cosmic genius.

The celestial chimp of cosmic genius. >> Hey, Cranky, are you

genius. >> Hey, Cranky, are you practicing moves for a new

>> Hey, Cranky, are you practicing moves for a new dance?

practicing moves for a new dance? >> No, I was figuring out the

dance? >> No, I was figuring out the eclipse, you twit.

>> No, I was figuring out the eclipse, you twit. >> Eclipse?

eclipse, you twit. >> Eclipse? Cool.

>> Eclipse? Cool. What's an eclipse?

Cool. What's an eclipse? >> It's lights out!

What's an eclipse? >> It's lights out! Which is what you'll get if you

>> It's lights out! Which is what you'll get if you don't quit monkeying around.

Which is what you'll get if you don't quit monkeying around. >> Did you finally figure out

don't quit monkeying around. >> Did you finally figure out what time the eclipse will

>> Did you finally figure out what time the eclipse will happen, Cranky?

what time the eclipse will happen, Cranky? >> Yeah, in exactly four days at

happen, Cranky? >> Yeah, in exactly four days at 3:35 p.m.

>> Yeah, in exactly four days at 3:35 p.m. >> Hey, just in time for the

3:35 p.m. >> Hey, just in time for the Annual Donkey Kong Challenge.

>> Hey, just in time for the Annual Donkey Kong Challenge. Hmm.

Annual Donkey Kong Challenge. Hmm. Maybe I should challenge DK.

Hmm. Maybe I should challenge DK. You know, give him the ol' one,

Maybe I should challenge DK. You know, give him the ol' one, two, wham, bam, ooh-ooh-ooh.

You know, give him the ol' one, two, wham, bam, ooh-ooh-ooh. >> Hey, Cranky, what's the point

two, wham, bam, ooh-ooh-ooh. >> Hey, Cranky, what's the point of the challenge anyway?

>> Hey, Cranky, what's the point of the challenge anyway? >> To keep DK on his toes.

of the challenge anyway? >> To keep DK on his toes. The future ruler of Kongo Bongo

>> To keep DK on his toes. The future ruler of Kongo Bongo has to be in top form if he's

The future ruler of Kongo Bongo has to be in top form if he's going to protect The Crystal

has to be in top form if he's going to protect The Crystal Coconut.

going to protect The Crystal Coconut. >> You mean, if DK lost the

Coconut. >> You mean, if DK lost the challenge, he wouldn't be future

>> You mean, if DK lost the challenge, he wouldn't be future ruler anymore?

challenge, he wouldn't be future ruler anymore? >> That's right.

ruler anymore? >> That's right. >> Ha, no one ever challenges

>> That's right. >> Ha, no one ever challenges DK.

>> Ha, no one ever challenges DK. He's the biggest, strongest ape

DK. He's the biggest, strongest ape on all of Kongo Bongo.

He's the biggest, strongest ape on all of Kongo Bongo. >> But even the biggest,

on all of Kongo Bongo. >> But even the biggest, strongest apes have to keep up

>> But even the biggest, strongest apes have to keep up with their training.

>> Yeah, 57. (Gulping) Well, if it ain't ol' mella

(Gulping) Well, if it ain't ol' mella yella.

Well, if it ain't ol' mella yella. Now it's just you an' me.

yella. Now it's just you an' me. Oh, no, my insides are turning

Now it's just you an' me. Oh, no, my insides are turning to mush.

Oh, no, my insides are turning to mush. That's right, you're yella and

to mush. That's right, you're yella and you've always been yella.

That's right, you're yella and you've always been yella. Now I'm gonna finish you off.

you've always been yella. Now I'm gonna finish you off. >> DIDDY KONG: Looks like you've

Now I'm gonna finish you off. >> DIDDY KONG: Looks like you've already finished off half the

>> DIDDY KONG: Looks like you've already finished off half the banana plantation, DK.

already finished off half the banana plantation, DK. (Giggling)

banana plantation, DK. (Giggling) >> Hey, little buddy.

(Giggling) >> Hey, little buddy. You're just in time to see me

>> Hey, little buddy. You're just in time to see me break my old record.

You're just in time to see me break my old record. >> Number 58?

break my old record. >> Number 58? >> Yup, I'm going for broke.

>> Number 58? >> Yup, I'm going for broke. >> And I'm going for cover.

>> Yup, I'm going for broke. >> And I'm going for cover. >> DK: 58.

(Stomach gurgling) >> BOTH: A new record! (Both cheering)

>> BOTH: A new record! (Both cheering) >> Hey, uh, aren't you supposed

(Both cheering) >> Hey, uh, aren't you supposed to be training for the Annual

>> Hey, uh, aren't you supposed to be training for the Annual Donkey Kong Challenge?

to be training for the Annual Donkey Kong Challenge? >> What for?

Donkey Kong Challenge? >> What for? I'm the biggest, strongest ape

>> What for? I'm the biggest, strongest ape on all of Kongo Bongo.

I'm the biggest, strongest ape on all of Kongo Bongo. >> That's what I said.

on all of Kongo Bongo. >> That's what I said. >> Who's gonna challenge me?

>> That's what I said. >> Who's gonna challenge me? >> K. ROOL: I'm waiting!

>> Who's gonna challenge me? >> K. ROOL: I'm waiting! Krusha!

>> K. ROOL: I'm waiting! Krusha! You see the problem?

Krusha! You see the problem? >> KRUSHA: I see lots of wires.

You see the problem? >> KRUSHA: I see lots of wires. >> Then pick one before I pickle

>> KRUSHA: I see lots of wires. >> Then pick one before I pickle you.

>> Then pick one before I pickle you. (Clanking)

you. (Clanking) Finally.

(Clanking) Finally. (Whirring)

Finally. (Whirring) >> Everything's bright again.

(Whirring) >> Everything's bright again. >> Not everything.

>> Everything's bright again. >> Not everything. Now then, I have a very

>> Not everything. Now then, I have a very important announcement to make,

Now then, I have a very important announcement to make, so listen up.

important announcement to make, so listen up. I, King Rool, supreme master of

so listen up. I, King Rool, supreme master of evil, like to announce that I'm

I, King Rool, supreme master of evil, like to announce that I'm abandoning my quest for The

evil, like to announce that I'm abandoning my quest for The Crystal Coconut.

abandoning my quest for The Crystal Coconut. (Gasping)

Crystal Coconut. (Gasping) >> Oh, say it ain't so, your

(Gasping) >> Oh, say it ain't so, your sinister slipperiness.

>> Oh, say it ain't so, your sinister slipperiness. >> I've got a new strategy.

sinister slipperiness. >> I've got a new strategy. The ultimate plan.

>> I've got a new strategy. The ultimate plan. Instead of stealing The Crystal

The ultimate plan. Instead of stealing The Crystal Coconut, I'm going to make the

Instead of stealing The Crystal Coconut, I'm going to make the apes give it to me.

Coconut, I'm going to make the apes give it to me. Fair and square.

apes give it to me. Fair and square. I am going to enter the Annual

Fair and square. I am going to enter the Annual Donkey Kong Challenge.

>> You are brave, sir. But what if you don't win? >> Can I be king?

But what if you don't win? >> Can I be king? >> I'm not the one who will

>> Can I be king? >> I'm not the one who will challenge Donkey Kong.

>> I'm not the one who will challenge Donkey Kong. >> Well, then who then, your

challenge Donkey Kong. >> Well, then who then, your supreme scaliness?

>> Well, then who then, your supreme scaliness? >> Hiyah!

supreme scaliness? >> Hiyah! Hiyah!

>> Hiyah! Hiyah! Oh!

Hiyah! Oh! Ya-ya-ya!

Oh! Ya-ya-ya! Ya-ta!

Ya-ya-ya! Ya-ta! Hiyah-ta!

Ya-ta! Hiyah-ta! Hiyah!

Hiyah-ta! Hiyah! Ti-no!

Hiyah! Ti-no! >> It can't be.

Ti-no! >> It can't be. >> Uh-oh.

>> It can't be. >> Uh-oh. (Disco music playing)

¶ I survived the volcano onslaught ¶ ¶ I was swallowed

onslaught ¶ ¶ I was swallowed by a great white shark ¶

¶ I was swallowed by a great white shark ¶ ¶ Hitched a ride

by a great white shark ¶ ¶ Hitched a ride on a tornado's tail ¶

¶ Hitched a ride on a tornado's tail ¶ ¶ Out-run an avalanche

on a tornado's tail ¶ ¶ Out-run an avalanche in the dark ¶

¶ Out-run an avalanche in the dark ¶ ¶ I'm the Kong Fu master

in the dark ¶ ¶ I'm the Kong Fu master so mean and tough ¶

¶ I'm the Kong Fu master so mean and tough ¶ ¶ I'm so bad I scare myself ¶

so mean and tough ¶ ¶ I'm so bad I scare myself ¶ ¶ Ha! ¶

¶ I'm so bad I scare myself ¶ ¶ Ha! ¶ ¶ Hi-yo ¶

¶ Ha! ¶ ¶ Hi-yo ¶ ¶ Hi-yo-whoa ¶

¶ Hi-yo ¶ ¶ Hi-yo-whoa ¶ ¶ Ha ho ¶

¶ Hi-yo-whoa ¶ ¶ Ha ho ¶ ¶ Yeah ta ki ko ¶

¶ Ha ho ¶ ¶ Yeah ta ki ko ¶ ¶ I've been taught

¶ Yeah ta ki ko ¶ ¶ I've been taught by Ape-fucious who says ¶

¶ I've been taught by Ape-fucious who says ¶ ¶ The mind must be sharp

by Ape-fucious who says ¶ ¶ The mind must be sharp as a wisdom tooth ¶

¶ The mind must be sharp as a wisdom tooth ¶ ¶ I can cut down a tree

as a wisdom tooth ¶ ¶ I can cut down a tree with bare hands ¶

¶ I can cut down a tree with bare hands ¶ ¶ I've been trained in

with bare hands ¶ ¶ I've been trained in Ape-jitsu Kung Fu! ¶

¶ I've been trained in Ape-jitsu Kung Fu! ¶ (Singing in high-pitched voices)

Ape-jitsu Kung Fu! ¶ (Singing in high-pitched voices) ¶ He's so mean ¶

(Singing in high-pitched voices) ¶ He's so mean ¶ ¶ He's so tough ¶

¶ He's so mean ¶ ¶ He's so tough ¶ ¶ He's so bad

¶ He's so tough ¶ ¶ He's so bad he scares himself! ¶

¶ He's so bad he scares himself! ¶ ¶ I'm the Kong Fu master

he scares himself! ¶ ¶ I'm the Kong Fu master so mean and tough ¶

¶ I'm the Kong Fu master so mean and tough ¶ ¶ I'm so bad I scare myself ¶

so mean and tough ¶ ¶ I'm so bad I scare myself ¶ ¶ I'm the Kong Fu master

¶ I'm so bad I scare myself ¶ ¶ I'm the Kong Fu master so mean and tough ¶

¶ I'm the Kong Fu master so mean and tough ¶ ¶ I'm so bad I scare myself ¶

so mean and tough ¶ ¶ I'm so bad I scare myself ¶ ¶ Ha! ¶

¶ I'm so bad I scare myself ¶ ¶ Ha! ¶ Ooh.

¶ Ha! ¶ Ooh. (Snickering)

Ooh. (Snickering) >> My success is imminent!

(Snickering) >> My success is imminent! Kong Fu wins the challenge, and

>> My success is imminent! Kong Fu wins the challenge, and I win the prize!

Kong Fu wins the challenge, and I win the prize! The Crystal Coconut!

(Moaning) >> DK, what's the matter? >> Oh, I ache all over...

>> DK, what's the matter? >> Oh, I ache all over... >> That's the sign of a good

>> Oh, I ache all over... >> That's the sign of a good muscle workout!

>> That's the sign of a good muscle workout! >> Not my muscles...

muscle workout! >> Not my muscles... my stomach!

>> Not my muscles... my stomach! Ohhh...

my stomach! Ohhh... >> DK broke his old banana

Ohhh... >> DK broke his old banana record!

>> DK broke his old banana record! >> You ate 58 bananas?

record! >> You ate 58 bananas? >> But bananas make me strong.

>> You ate 58 bananas? >> But bananas make me strong. >> Only if you exercise, you big

>> But bananas make me strong. >> Only if you exercise, you big dope.

>> Only if you exercise, you big dope. You were supposed to be training

dope. You were supposed to be training for the Annual Donkey Kong

You were supposed to be training for the Annual Donkey Kong Challenge!

for the Annual Donkey Kong Challenge! >> What for?

Challenge! >> What for? Who's gonna challenge-- ooh...

>> What for? Who's gonna challenge-- ooh... me?

Who's gonna challenge-- ooh... me? >> Ooh-ya!

me? >> Ooh-ya! Ya-go!

>> Ooh-ya! Ya-go! (All gasping)

Ya-go! (All gasping) >> ALL: Kong Fu?!

(All gasping) >> ALL: Kong Fu?! >> That's right!

>> ALL: Kong Fu?! >> That's right! >> Uh-oh.

>> Don't worry, guys. I can get into shape again, no problem!

I can get into shape again, no problem! All I need is a couple o' m--

problem! All I need is a couple o' m-- Whoa!

All I need is a couple o' m-- Whoa! >> Ah-ha!

Whoa! >> Ah-ha! Here it is.

>> Ah-ha! Here it is. The official rule book says "The

Here it is. The official rule book says "The challenge is made up of three

The official rule book says "The challenge is made up of three contests."

challenge is made up of three contests." >> Oh.

contests." >> Oh. Now I have to win three

>> Oh. Now I have to win three contests?

Now I have to win three contests? >> No, you dope.

contests? >> No, you dope. You only have to win two out of

>> No, you dope. You only have to win two out of three.

You only have to win two out of three. So, if we rule out the contest

three. So, if we rule out the contest of the body...

So, if we rule out the contest of the body... we're left with...

of the body... we're left with... the contest of the mind.

we're left with... the contest of the mind. >> ALL: Uh, what's the third

the contest of the mind. >> ALL: Uh, what's the third one?

>> ALL: Uh, what's the third one? >> The contest of the heart.

one? >> The contest of the heart. (Grunting)

>> The contest of the heart. (Grunting) >> I think we should cover all

(Grunting) >> I think we should cover all the bases if we want DK to win.

>> I think we should cover all the bases if we want DK to win. >> Then why don't we each take a

the bases if we want DK to win. >> Then why don't we each take a category and help coach DK?

>> Then why don't we each take a category and help coach DK? >> Great idea, Candy!

category and help coach DK? >> Great idea, Candy! You take the contest of the

>> Great idea, Candy! You take the contest of the heart, I'll take the mind, and

You take the contest of the heart, I'll take the mind, and Diddy can take the body.

heart, I'll take the mind, and Diddy can take the body. >> Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh!

>> Uh, sir. When you volunteered us to help uh, Kong Fu, train...

When you volunteered us to help uh, Kong Fu, train... We didn't--

uh, Kong Fu, train... We didn't-- >> Klump!

We didn't-- >> Klump! Will you be quiet!?

>> Klump! Will you be quiet!? You're breaking Kong Fu's

Will you be quiet!? You're breaking Kong Fu's concentration.

(Both groaning) >> Oh-ho-oh, bravo! Oh, a new chopping record,

>> Oh-ho-oh, bravo! Oh, a new chopping record, Kong Fu!

Oh, a new chopping record, Kong Fu! Oh, such strength, such power,

Kong Fu! Oh, such strength, such power, such precision!

Oh, such strength, such power, such precision! Donkey Kong won't know what hit

such precision! Donkey Kong won't know what hit him!

Donkey Kong won't know what hit him! >> I...

him! >> I... I can vouch for that.

>> 33, 34, 35. >> DK, you're doing great! This morning you could barely

>> DK, you're doing great! This morning you could barely lift a barrel, now look at you!

This morning you could barely lift a barrel, now look at you! >> I know, I'm pumped!

lift a barrel, now look at you! >> I know, I'm pumped! I'm back in the driver's seat,

>> I know, I'm pumped! I'm back in the driver's seat, little buddy.

I'm back in the driver's seat, little buddy. King of Kong!

little buddy. King of Kong! Thriller gorilla!

King of Kong! Thriller gorilla! >> Well, no wonder it's so easy.

Thriller gorilla! >> Well, no wonder it's so easy. The barrel's empty!

>> Well, no wonder it's so easy. The barrel's empty! >> I thought it was kinda light.

The barrel's empty! >> I thought it was kinda light. >> Oh-ho-ho-ho, great.

>> I thought it was kinda light. >> Oh-ho-ho-ho, great. There goes the contest of the

>> Oh-ho-ho-ho, great. There goes the contest of the body.

There goes the contest of the body. >> Don't worry, little buddy,

body. >> Don't worry, little buddy, there's still the other

>> Don't worry, little buddy, there's still the other contests.

there's still the other contests. >> That's right!

contests. >> That's right! There's still the contest of the

>> That's right! There's still the contest of the mind.

There's still the contest of the mind. >> Yeah, yeah!

mind. >> Yeah, yeah! The contest of the mind.

>> Yeah, yeah! The contest of the mind. What's that one about again?

The contest of the mind. What's that one about again? >> K. ROOL: We will now commence

What's that one about again? >> K. ROOL: We will now commence with part two of the training--

>> K. ROOL: We will now commence with part two of the training-- Contest of the Mind.

with part two of the training-- Contest of the Mind. >> Yes, let's.

Contest of the Mind. >> Yes, let's. >> We'll start off with a little

>> Yes, let's. >> We'll start off with a little brain-teaser from my trusty

>> We'll start off with a little brain-teaser from my trusty tome; "Meditating Monks Who

brain-teaser from my trusty tome; "Meditating Monks Who Write Riddles in Their Spare

tome; "Meditating Monks Who Write Riddles in Their Spare Time."

Write Riddles in Their Spare Time." (Clearing throat)

Time." (Clearing throat) What runs, but never gets out

(Clearing throat) What runs, but never gets out of breath?

What runs, but never gets out of breath? >> Ooh, ooh!

of breath? >> Ooh, ooh! I know!

>> Ooh, ooh! I know! You, and your long-winded

I know! You, and your long-winded speeches.

You, and your long-winded speeches. >> Simple.

speeches. >> Simple. Water.

>> Simple. Water. >> Brilliant!

Water. >> Brilliant! >> I know...

>> Brilliant! >> I know... I wrote it.

>> I know... I wrote it. >> Okay Donkey Kong, here's a

I wrote it. >> Okay Donkey Kong, here's a brain-teaser for you.

>> Okay Donkey Kong, here's a brain-teaser for you. What kind of running means

brain-teaser for you. What kind of running means walking?

What kind of running means walking? >> I give up, what?

walking? >> I give up, what? >> You're supposed to answer it,

>> I give up, what? >> You're supposed to answer it, not me, you numbskull!

>> You're supposed to answer it, not me, you numbskull! >> Oh, yeah, right!

not me, you numbskull! >> Oh, yeah, right! Okay.

>> Oh, yeah, right! Okay. What kind of running means

Okay. What kind of running means walking...

What kind of running means walking... what kind of running mean--

walking... what kind of running mean-- >> The answer is running out of

what kind of running mean-- >> The answer is running out of gas!

>> The answer is running out of gas! >> Oh!

gas! >> Oh! (Laughing)

>> Oh! (Laughing) I don't get it.

(Laughing) I don't get it. >> I think we can rule out any

I don't get it. >> I think we can rule out any hope of winning the contest of

>> I think we can rule out any hope of winning the contest of the mind.

hope of winning the contest of the mind. >> Things aren't looking so

the mind. >> Things aren't looking so good, are they?

>> The particles called electrons turned out to be negatively charged, and have a

electrons turned out to be negatively charged, and have a mass of about one

negatively charged, and have a mass of about one eighteen-hundredth of a single

mass of about one eighteen-hundredth of a single hydrogen atom.

eighteen-hundredth of a single hydrogen atom. Electrons are also fundamental

hydrogen atom. Electrons are also fundamental chargers in static electricity.

Electrons are also fundamental chargers in static electricity. This is best demonstrated by

chargers in static electricity. This is best demonstrated by rubbing one's foot along a

This is best demonstrated by rubbing one's foot along a carpet, then touching an object.

rubbing one's foot along a carpet, then touching an object. (Screaming)

carpet, then touching an object. (Screaming) >> Bravo!

(Screaming) >> Bravo! That Neanderthal Donkey Kong

>> Bravo! That Neanderthal Donkey Kong doesn't stand a chance at

That Neanderthal Donkey Kong doesn't stand a chance at winning the contest of the mind!

doesn't stand a chance at winning the contest of the mind! >> He may be strong and smart,

winning the contest of the mind! >> He may be strong and smart, but he's got no heart.

>> He may be strong and smart, but he's got no heart. >> Fat-head has a point.

>> Not if you guarantee that upon winning the Crystal Coconut you will give it away, donating

upon winning the Crystal Coconut you will give it away, donating it out of the goodness of your

you will give it away, donating it out of the goodness of your heart.

it out of the goodness of your heart. And who better to donate it

heart. And who better to donate it to...

And who better to donate it to... than me?

to... than me? (Snickering)

than me? (Snickering) (Seagull cackling)

(Snickering) (Seagull cackling) >> I'm all messed up, Candy.

(Seagull cackling) >> I'm all messed up, Candy. I can't believe I let myself get

>> I'm all messed up, Candy. I can't believe I let myself get soft!

I can't believe I let myself get soft! I just never thought anyone

soft! I just never thought anyone would challenge me.

I just never thought anyone would challenge me. >> Donkey Kong, there's more to

would challenge me. >> Donkey Kong, there's more to the challenge than just having

>> Donkey Kong, there's more to the challenge than just having muscles.

the challenge than just having muscles. There's strength of the heart.

¶ You gotta realise that your strength comes from inside of you ¶

strength comes from inside of you ¶ ¶ You can win with heart

you ¶ ¶ You can win with heart if you just stay true ¶

¶ Don't lose faith in yourself ¶ ¶ When all seems lost and you're feeling blue ¶

¶ When all seems lost and you're feeling blue ¶ ¶ Just don't lose heart,

and you're feeling blue ¶ ¶ Just don't lose heart, it'll all come through ¶

¶ I know I'm gonna get my butt kicked tonight ¶

¶ I'll be in so much pain I will hardly stand upright ¶

¶ I'm gonna take a thrashing, he's gonna pound me to dust ¶

¶ By the time he's finished pounding ¶ ¶ You'll never recognise me ¶

¶ Be strong ¶ ¶ And soon I'll be gumming on my food ¶

¶ And soon I'll be gumming on my food ¶ ¶ Just don't lose heart! ¶

on my food ¶ ¶ Just don't lose heart! ¶ ¶ Keep your head up ¶

¶ Just don't lose heart! ¶ ¶ Keep your head up ¶ ¶ So he can knock it off

¶ Keep your head up ¶ ¶ So he can knock it off my shoulders ¶

¶ So he can knock it off my shoulders ¶ ¶ You'll be back on your feet ¶

my shoulders ¶ ¶ You'll be back on your feet ¶ ¶ In crutches ¶

>> Donkey Kong. >> Oh, Cranky, isn't there anything we can do for him?

>> Troops, in light of my imminent victory, I feel it is appropriate to announce that I

imminent victory, I feel it is appropriate to announce that I will be streamlining our

appropriate to announce that I will be streamlining our operations.

will be streamlining our operations. >> Kong Fu will be taking over

operations. >> Kong Fu will be taking over as General, and bodyguard!

>> Kong Fu will be taking over as General, and bodyguard! >> Oh, ya!

as General, and bodyguard! >> Oh, ya! >> Eh, uh, b-b-but your

>> Oh, ya! >> Eh, uh, b-b-but your massiveness, a body like yours

>> Eh, uh, b-b-but your massiveness, a body like yours c-could use two bodyguards.

massiveness, a body like yours c-could use two bodyguards. >> How about just one-- guarding

c-could use two bodyguards. >> How about just one-- guarding the front door!

>> How about just one-- guarding the front door! >> Well, well.

the front door! >> Well, well. What do we have here?

>> Well, well. What do we have here? Come to grovel for mercy?

What do we have here? Come to grovel for mercy? >> No, I'm here to warn you!

Come to grovel for mercy? >> No, I'm here to warn you! >> Warn us?

>> No, I'm here to warn you! >> Warn us? >> Uh-huh!

>> Warn us? >> Uh-huh! DK is in such killer shape he

>> Uh-huh! DK is in such killer shape he could knock Kong Fu down for the

DK is in such killer shape he could knock Kong Fu down for the count!

could knock Kong Fu down for the count! But if ya back off, he might let

count! But if ya back off, he might let you go with just a warning this

But if ya back off, he might let you go with just a warning this time.

you go with just a warning this time. Whaddya say?

(All laughing) >> Uh, uh, okay then, uh, uh, we could postpone the challenge,

>> Uh, uh, okay then, uh, uh, we could postpone the challenge, say, um, a year, yeah, a year--

could postpone the challenge, say, um, a year, yeah, a year-- you know, make the fight fair

say, um, a year, yeah, a year-- you know, make the fight fair and square.

you know, make the fight fair and square. (All laughing)

>> Uh, uh, okay, uh, fine! You'll be sorry! I was just trying to give you

You'll be sorry! I was just trying to give you a break.

I was just trying to give you a break. >> Oh, be I give Donkey Kong a

a break. >> Oh, be I give Donkey Kong a break, a whole lot of breaks!

>> Oh, be I give Donkey Kong a break, a whole lot of breaks! Not to mention some lumps, bumps

break, a whole lot of breaks! Not to mention some lumps, bumps and bruises, 'cause when I'm--

Not to mention some lumps, bumps and bruises, 'cause when I'm-- (Whimpering)

and bruises, 'cause when I'm-- (Whimpering) >> Klump!

(Whimpering) >> Klump! Stop snivelling!

>> Klump! Stop snivelling! >> KLUMP: Uh, it's not me, sir.

Stop snivelling! >> KLUMP: Uh, it's not me, sir. It must be Krusha.

>> KLUMP: Uh, it's not me, sir. It must be Krusha. >> Nope, not me.

It must be Krusha. >> Nope, not me. >> Then who?

>> Nope, not me. >> Then who? >> It was him!

>> Then who? >> It was him! >> Oh!

>> It was him! >> Oh! Liar, liar, fur on fire!

>> Oh! Liar, liar, fur on fire! >> He let the little monkey get

Liar, liar, fur on fire! >> He let the little monkey get away, too!

>> He let the little monkey get away, too! >> Never mind about Diddy, it's

away, too! >> Never mind about Diddy, it's time to go to the battlefield.

>> Never mind about Diddy, it's time to go to the battlefield. Let's show Donkey Kong who

time to go to the battlefield. Let's show Donkey Kong who rules!

Let's show Donkey Kong who rules! >> DIDDY KONG: Uh!

rules! >> DIDDY KONG: Uh! DK, I've got great news!

>> DIDDY KONG: Uh! DK, I've got great news! >> No news is gonna cheer me up.

DK, I've got great news! >> No news is gonna cheer me up. >> I've got a plan how you can

>> No news is gonna cheer me up. >> I've got a plan how you can beat Kong Fu!

>> I've got a plan how you can beat Kong Fu! >> Yeah?!

beat Kong Fu! >> Yeah?! Oh, little buddy, that's great!

>> Yeah?! Oh, little buddy, that's great! I knew I could count on you!

Oh, little buddy, that's great! I knew I could count on you! >> That's what side-kicks are

I knew I could count on you! >> That's what side-kicks are fo-or!

>> That's what side-kicks are fo-or! Ha-huh-ha!

fo-or! Ha-huh-ha! >> So, what's the plan?

Ha-huh-ha! >> So, what's the plan? >> Well, first we gotta get

>> So, what's the plan? >> Well, first we gotta get Cranky and Candy to stall the

>> Well, first we gotta get Cranky and Candy to stall the contest...

¶

>> Since when does the Donkey Kong Challenge include a pre-game show?

Donkey Kong Challenge include a pre-game show? >> It doesn't!

pre-game show? >> It doesn't! They're stalling!

>> It doesn't! They're stalling! >> Bravo!

They're stalling! >> Bravo! >> Encore.

>> Bravo! >> Encore. >> Bravo!

>> Encore. >> Bravo! >> Encore.

>> Bravo! >> Encore. >> All right, all right, let's

>> Encore. >> All right, all right, let's get on with the main event,

>> All right, all right, let's get on with the main event, shall we?

get on with the main event, shall we? >> What do we do now, little

shall we? >> What do we do now, little buddy?

>> What do we do now, little buddy? >> All we have to do is stall.

buddy? >> All we have to do is stall. >> According to the official

>> All we have to do is stall. >> According to the official rule book, if that yellow

>> According to the official rule book, if that yellow bellied Neanderthal,

rule book, if that yellow bellied Neanderthal, Donkey Kong, doesn't show up

bellied Neanderthal, Donkey Kong, doesn't show up then I win by default.

Donkey Kong, doesn't show up then I win by default. >> We gotta go out, or else

then I win by default. >> We gotta go out, or else K'rool wins!

>> We gotta go out, or else K'rool wins! >> No sweat, just tell me what

K'rool wins! >> No sweat, just tell me what to do to beat Kong Fu.

>> No sweat, just tell me what to do to beat Kong Fu. >> I haven't figured that part

to do to beat Kong Fu. >> I haven't figured that part out yet.

>> I haven't figured that part out yet. Uh, but you go on ahead.

out yet. Uh, but you go on ahead. >> Huh?

Uh, but you go on ahead. >> Huh? >> Donkey Kong!

>> Huh? >> Donkey Kong! You made it!

>> Donkey Kong! You made it! >> Booo!

You made it! >> Booo! Hsss!

>> Booo! Hsss! >> Make way for the champ!

Hsss! >> Make way for the champ! Kongo Bongo's biggest, strongest

>> Make way for the champ! Kongo Bongo's biggest, strongest ape!

Kongo Bongo's biggest, strongest ape! >> I don't get it.

ape! >> I don't get it. >> Yeah, what's this plan of

>> I don't get it. >> Yeah, what's this plan of yours?

>> Yeah, what's this plan of yours? >> All we gotta do is keep

yours? >> All we gotta do is keep Kong Fu busy with the other two

>> All we gotta do is keep Kong Fu busy with the other two contests.

Kong Fu busy with the other two contests. Trust me!

contests. Trust me! >> But DK can't win the contest

Trust me! >> But DK can't win the contest of the mind.

>> But DK can't win the contest of the mind. Trust me.

of the mind. Trust me. >> Come on, come on, let's get

Trust me. >> Come on, come on, let's get on with it!

>> Come on, come on, let's get on with it! I want to see Donkey Kong laid

on with it! I want to see Donkey Kong laid out!

I want to see Donkey Kong laid out! >> We, the challengees, choose

out! >> We, the challengees, choose to begin with the contest of the

>> We, the challengees, choose to begin with the contest of the mind.

to begin with the contest of the mind. >> Booo!

mind. >> Booo! Hiss!

>> Booo! Hiss! Cheater, cheater, banana bread

Hiss! Cheater, cheater, banana bread eater!

Cheater, cheater, banana bread eater! >> You can do it, DK.

eater! >> You can do it, DK. Just take your time.

>> You can do it, DK. Just take your time. Question.

Just take your time. Question. How many pieces of string would

Question. How many pieces of string would it take to reach the moon?

>> One kazillion, three hundred and forty-two million, seven hundred and sixty-five.

and forty-two million, seven hundred and sixty-five. >> K. ROOL: Eeeh.

seven hundred and sixty-five. >> K. ROOL: Eeeh. Wrong.

>> K. ROOL: Eeeh. Wrong. >> Yippee.

Wrong. >> Yippee. >> Woo-hoo!

>> Yippee. >> Woo-hoo! Loser!

>> Woo-hoo! Loser! >> Same question, Kong Fu.

Loser! >> Same question, Kong Fu. How many pieces of string would

>> Same question, Kong Fu. How many pieces of string would it take to reach the moon?

How many pieces of string would it take to reach the moon? >> Hi-yo-ya-go!

it take to reach the moon? >> Hi-yo-ya-go! One.

>> Hi-yo-ya-go! One. The answer is one.

One. The answer is one. One piece of string.

The answer is one. One piece of string. If it was long enough.

One piece of string. If it was long enough. >> He's right, DK.

If it was long enough. >> He's right, DK. (Laughing)

>> He's right, DK. (Laughing) >> He's not only right, he's the

(Laughing) >> He's not only right, he's the winner of the contest of the

>> He's not only right, he's the winner of the contest of the mind!

winner of the contest of the mind! >> Whatever your plan is, it's

mind! >> Whatever your plan is, it's not working.

>> Whatever your plan is, it's not working. >> My plan will work!

not working. >> My plan will work! All you have to do is stall the

>> My plan will work! All you have to do is stall the contest of the body!

All you have to do is stall the contest of the body! >> And now for the contest of

contest of the body! >> And now for the contest of the heart.

>> And now for the contest of the heart. >> No way!

the heart. >> No way! You chose the last contest, so I

>> No way! You chose the last contest, so I choose this one, and I choose

You chose the last contest, so I choose this one, and I choose the one where Donkey Kong gets

choose this one, and I choose the one where Donkey Kong gets beaten to a pulp!

the one where Donkey Kong gets beaten to a pulp! The contest of the body!

>> Whoa! >> Oh, no! >> DK, you gotta hold off

>> Oh, no! >> DK, you gotta hold off Kong Fu for as long as you can!

>> DK, you gotta hold off Kong Fu for as long as you can! >> Kong Fu!

Kong Fu for as long as you can! >> Kong Fu! Kong Fu!

>> Kong Fu! Kong Fu! >> So-wah-whoa.

Hiyah!

>> Come on, get up! You'll miss the big finale!

>> Now to finish you off! >> I can't bear to watch! >> Me neither.

>> I can't bear to watch! >> Me neither. >> Five...

>> Me neither. >> Five... Four...

>> Five... Four... Three...

Four... Three... Two...

Three... Two... >> The eclipse!

Two... >> The eclipse! 3:35 p.m. exactly!

>> The eclipse! 3:35 p.m. exactly! So that was your plan.

3:35 p.m. exactly! So that was your plan. >> Yep!

So that was your plan. >> Yep! Ha-ha-ha, and it worked!

>> Yep! Ha-ha-ha, and it worked! Oh, and wait, it gets better!

Ha-ha-ha, and it worked! Oh, and wait, it gets better! (Whimpering)

Oh, and wait, it gets better! (Whimpering) >> Why, Kong Fu's afraid of the

(Whimpering) >> Why, Kong Fu's afraid of the dark!

>> Why, Kong Fu's afraid of the dark! Huh-huh, I knew it was him!

dark! Huh-huh, I knew it was him! >> Why, he's nothing but a big

Huh-huh, I knew it was him! >> Why, he's nothing but a big sissy!

>> Why, he's nothing but a big sissy! Get up, you spineless worm!

sissy! Get up, you spineless worm! >> Why he's yellow-bellied and

Get up, you spineless worm! >> Why he's yellow-bellied and lily-livered!

>> Why he's yellow-bellied and lily-livered! Ha-ha-ha!

lily-livered! Ha-ha-ha! >> He's a girlie ape.

Ha-ha-ha! >> He's a girlie ape. >> Sock it to him, DK!

>> He's a girlie ape. >> Sock it to him, DK! Wham!

>> Sock it to him, DK! Wham! Bam!

Wham! Bam! >> Yeah!

Bam! >> Yeah! Finish him off.

>> Yeah! Finish him off. >> You'll win the challenge, DK!

Finish him off. >> You'll win the challenge, DK! >> Ah...

>> You'll win the challenge, DK! >> Ah... I can't hit an ape when he's

>> Ah... I can't hit an ape when he's down.

I can't hit an ape when he's down. >> ALL: Huh?!

down. >> ALL: Huh?! >> The contest of the heart,

>> ALL: Huh?! >> The contest of the heart, Donkey Kong won!

>> The contest of the heart, Donkey Kong won! >> I did?

Donkey Kong won! >> I did? >> BOTH: He did?

>> I did? >> BOTH: He did? >> Yeah!

>> BOTH: He did? >> Yeah! DK showed real heart for not

>> Yeah! DK showed real heart for not taking advantage of his opponent

DK showed real heart for not taking advantage of his opponent when he was down.

taking advantage of his opponent when he was down. >> Look at him!

when he was down. >> Look at him! (Laughing)

>> Look at him! (Laughing) >> Baby!

(Laughing) >> Baby! >> DK, you did it!

>> Baby! >> DK, you did it! You won!

>> DK, you did it! You won! You won!

You won! You won! >> Banana slamma!

You won! >> Banana slamma! Now all I gotta do is...

Beat you up. (Laughing)

>> Now what was that about? A spine-a-less worm?! Yellow-bellied?!

A spine-a-less worm?! Yellow-bellied?! Find another chump to do your

Yellow-bellied?! Find another chump to do your dirty work.

Find another chump to do your dirty work. I forfeit!

dirty work. I forfeit! >> What?!

I forfeit! >> What?! You can't do that!

>> What?! You can't do that! Hey!

You can't do that! Hey! Come back here!

Hey! Come back here! >> That means DK wins by

Come back here! >> That means DK wins by default!

>> That means DK wins by default! >> Woo-hoo!

default! >> Woo-hoo! >> That's my boy!

>> Woo-hoo! >> That's my boy! >> All right!

>> That's my boy! >> All right! >> Hooray for DK!

>> All right! >> Hooray for DK! >> Thank you very much!

>> Hooray for DK! >> Thank you very much! Thank you, thank you!

>> Thank you very much! Thank you, thank you! >> Klump!

Thank you, thank you! >> Klump! Krusha!

>> Klump! Krusha! Back to the mines.

Krusha! Back to the mines. By the time we get there, I'll

Back to the mines. By the time we get there, I'll have thought of some way that I

By the time we get there, I'll have thought of some way that I can blame all of this on you

have thought of some way that I can blame all of this on you two home-spun idiots!

can blame all of this on you two home-spun idiots! >> Yes, sir!

two home-spun idiots! >> Yes, sir! >> Hip hup, hip hup.

>> Yes, sir! >> Hip hup, hip hup. >> You don't have the coconut!

>> Hip hup, hip hup. >> You don't have the coconut! >> Well, DK, I hope you learned

>> You don't have the coconut! >> Well, DK, I hope you learned how important it is to keep in

>> Well, DK, I hope you learned how important it is to keep in shape.

how important it is to keep in shape. >> I sure did, and to prove it,

shape. >> I sure did, and to prove it, tomorrow I'm starting my

>> I sure did, and to prove it, tomorrow I'm starting my training for next year's

tomorrow I'm starting my training for next year's challenge.

training for next year's challenge. >> Thaaat's great.

challenge. >> Thaaat's great. >> But first, I wanna see if I

>> Thaaat's great. >> But first, I wanna see if I can break my old banana record.

>> But first, I wanna see if I can break my old banana record. >> Donkey Kong!

can break my old banana record. >> Donkey Kong! >> What?!

>> Donkey Kong! >> What?! (All laughing)

¶