Original subtitles

[Jungle music playing]

♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah ♪ Donkey Kong ♪ Hey-oh

♪ Look out, time to go ♪ Here he comes

♪ Banana slamma

♪

♪ Donkey Kong ♪

♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah, Donkey Kong

♪

♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah, Donkey Kong ♪ Hey-oh

♪ Look out, time to go ♪ Here he comes

♪ Banana slamma ♪ Kongo Bongo"s hero ♪

♪ Hey-oh ♪ Donkey Kong, let"s go ♪

♪ Let"s go ♪

♪ Here he comes ♪ Banana slamma

♪

[Mechanical hissing]

Okay, Donkey Kong, you"ve got

your peace and quiet.

Now what?

I wrote a song for you, Candy.

[Clearing throat]

♪ 100 banana bunches on the wall ♪

♪ 100 banana bunches

♪ If one of the bunches

should happen to bruise ♪

♪ 99 banana bunches on the wall ♪

You wrote that for me?

Yep.

"Cause you're prettier than a

barrelful of bananas, Candy.

And there"s more, a lot more!

♪ 98 banana bunches on the wall ♪

♪ 98 banana bunches ♪ If one of the bunches

should happen to bruise ♪

♪ 97 banana bunches on the wall ♪

♪ 97 banana bunches ♪ If one of the bunches

should happen to bruise ♪

♪ 96 banana bunches on the wall ♪

♪ 96 banana bunches ♪ If one of the bunches

should happen to bruise ♪

♪ 95 banana bunches on the wall ♪

♪ 95 banana bunches ♪ If one of the bunches

should happen to bruise ♪

♪ 94 banana bunches... D"oooh!

Donkey Kong, you blathering baboon!

I should have guessed you were behind this!

Out!

Out of my factory!

Now!

Bluster!

And you, back to work!

♪ If one of the bunches

should happen to bruise ♪

♪ 92 banana bunches on the wall ♪

♪ 92 banana bunches on the...

I"m the boss, and the boss says...

♪ If one of the bunches should

happen to... ♪

Whooaaa!

Help!

I"m stuck!

Help!

Heeeeelp!

Heeeeeeeelp!

He-help!

[Wood breaking]

[Metal creaking]

I had you all wrong, Donkey Kong.

You are indeed a champ among chimps.

I am forever in your debt, Donkey Kong.

From this day forth, I, Bluster

Kong, do hereby solemnly swear

an oath of allegiance, to do all

within my power to protect you

from personal injury as long as

I shall live.

Bluster"s decided to be your bodyguard?

He says he owes me, Diddy.

[Helicopter propeller beating]

Donkey Kong!

I can"t allow you to risk

falling from those vines!

I beg you to permit me to

chauffeur you to your destination!

Might save a few calluses.

Why not?

Hey!

DK, wait!

What about... meeeeeee?

Does anyone get the drop on us?

No one gets the drop on us!

Huh?

DIDDY: Aaaahhhhh!

[Squashing]

Gee, thanks, Klump!

[Giggling]

Your head"s even softer than I thought!

See ya.

Huh?

Two apes flyin" around together?

Another one droppin" out of the trees?

Well this could only mean... Somethin".

ROOL: Well, it"s obvious,

General Klump, isn"t it?

One ape is a pain, two apes is,

a conspiracy!

A scheme, a plot!

And we know who they"re wangling

against, don"t we?

Uh... Me!

You unthinking tadpoles, me, me!

Me!

[Voice echoing]

♪

♪ Everyone is plotting against me ♪

♪ They"re muttering behind me ♪

♪ I smell a scam ♪ Donkey Kong and Bluster

working together ♪

♪ How naive do they think I am? ♪

♪ No one"s going to make

a monkey outta me ♪

♪ No one gets this diabolical sipping tea ♪

♪ I"m the rightful ruler ♪

♪ Anyone can see ♪ No one"s going to make

a monkey outta me ♪

♪ They must be building

a top secret weapon ♪

♪ Mounting an army as fast as they can ♪

♪ Enough of those two impudent apes ♪

♪ What kind of fool do they think I am? ♪

♪ I"m hearing voices in my head ♪

♪ What should I do?

♪ I"ve got to break

this rebellious plot in two! ♪

♪ They"re working on counter

intelligence, after all ♪

♪ What kind of intelligence do

apes have with brains that small? ♪

♪ No one"s going to make

a monkey outta me ♪

♪ No one gets this diabolical sipping tea ♪

♪ I"m the rightful ruler ♪

♪ Anyone can see ♪ No one"s going to make

a monkey outta me ♪

Got it, Klump?

My head hurts.

Oh!

He takes off with Bluster and

leaves me hanging!

No, not even hanging.

He leaves me vineless!

I let him give me a ride so

he could repay his debt.

Now we"re even.

Will you ever forgive me, little buddy?

Ah, sure.

Here, Crabby Crabby.

Here, Crabby!

Hey, Dixie.

What"s happenin'?

What"s shakin'?

What"s up?

I"m looking for my pet crab, Dids.

I can"t find him anywhere!

Ah, never fear, Diddy"s here.

Just shove an hors d"oeuvres

plate in front of me and I can

find the crab with my eyes closed.

Here, Crappy!

Crappy!

Here, Crappy Crappy!

It"s Crab-"by"!

You know, I really liked your

song, Donkey Kong.

Yeah?

Well there"s a whole lot more verses.

Wanna hear "em, Candy?

Later.

Right now... [Smooching noise]

No!

Hey!

Fear not, Donkey Kong!

I"ll save you!

Save me from what?

Germs!

Kissing germs!

You sayin" I've got germs?

Nothing a spoonful of

Mother"s frog fungus tonic won't fix!

We may still have time.

But, but... Ungh!

Of all the nerve!

Bluster"s convinced he's

gonna pay me back for saving

him, by spending the rest of his

life protecting me, Cranky!

What"s he going to protect you from?

Noo!

Off the barrel, Donkey Kong!

You might fall and... [Thudding]

Whooooah!

Waaoh.

Whouh-uh-uh!

Ah!

Whooa!

[Smashing]

Waah!

[Both grunting inside barrels]

BOTH: Aaaahhh!

♪

[Both screaming and grunting]

I had no idea your day-to-day

existence was so fraught with jeopardy.

I know, he pack it in.

Therefore, I have no choice

but to stay by your side 24

hours a day to protect you from

these dangers.

Looks like your new shadow

parts its hair in the middle.

So, your in-depth, concise

report of your spy vision makes

one thing perfectly clear.

You have absolutely no idea what

those apes are up to!

Do you?!

Which leaves me with only one recourse.

Bring me that fancy pants monkey!

[Cries of fear]

When I"m finished with that ape,

he"ll be singing like a canary.

Muahahaha!

And verily I say, Donkey Kong

may throw himself into the very

jaws of death, but I, Bluster

Kong, will be there...

Whoa-ah-ah, slow down, dude.

You"re making me... [Yawning]

Sleepy.

To the point.

Have you seen Donkey Kong?

Yeah, like, DK as in the big green?

Vinin" through the pines,

breezin" in the trees?

Very nice.

Now, Donkey Kong, have you seen him?

Man, you are one tangled orangutan!

Hmph!

FUNKY: You were right, DK.

BLUSTER: Yoo-hoo!

Donkey Kong!

Bluster"s hepped up high on

this do or die hero jag.

[Groaning]

He"s driving me crazy, Funky!

Cramping my style!

You gotta help me.

Then fasten your surfbelt,

citizen, and catch this wave!

♪

♪ Kick back and alpha zone-out

♪ Copasetic glide-by

leaving" you with no doubt ♪

♪ No need to wig, you dig?

♪ It"s a hardcore full-tilt

chillable gig ♪

♪ Do that monkey like that monkey do you ♪

♪ Listen to Funky

"cause the words ring true ♪

♪ If you want to get a monkey

off of your back ♪

♪ Let him save your life

and you"ll be even ♪

♪ It"s as simple as that ♪

♪ Rip curl, pipeline ♪ Maxin" the slam ♪

♪ Be cool, bro ♪ It"s a radical jam ♪

♪ Run it up the neighbourhood

♪ Chill with ease

♪ Make you wanna bounce surf

in ten degrees ♪

♪ Do that monkey like that monkey do you ♪

♪ Oh, listen to Funky

"cause my words ring true ♪

♪ Rabba sabba labba, labba loca ♪

♪ If you want to get a monkey

off of your back ♪

♪ Let him save your life

and you"ll be even ♪

♪ It"s as simple as that ♪

Heh, heh, haha, heh heh!

♪ Let him save your life

and you"ll be even ♪

♪ It"s as simple as that ♪

Just leave everything to the

funkiest of monkeys!

Heh heh heh hoo!

Ready!

Okay, Diddy.

Start pilin...

[Donkey Kong singing]

♪ Oh, 99 banana bunches on me

♪ 99 banana bunches

[Voice becoming muffled]

♪ If one of the bunches should

happen to bruise ♪

♪ 98 banana bunches on me Phew.

[Muffling grumbling from pile]

Think it"ll work this time, Funky?

This plan is foolproof, Diddy.

As long as the fool doesn"t

eat his way out before Bluster

can rescue him.

[Helicopter approaching]

And here he comes, right on time!

Faster, Diddy!

[Munching under pile]

Heh, I"ll zoom by and grab

that ape in one fell swoop.

Help, Bluster!

KLUMP: Ready, Krusha?

Now!

Whoa!

FUNKY: DK"s trapped under

this banana pile!

I"ll save you!

Whoa, the ape yells!

Wha-oh!

Waaahh!

Ta-da!

BOTH: Huh?

KLUMP: Donkey!

Stop this thing!

Germs, barrel rolling, rabid

orangutans, banana piles?

I can"t believe the trouble you

get yourself into, Donkey Kong!

So you"re gonna give up

trying to protect me?

Nothing of the sort.

From now on, I"m going to keep

my eye on you... every, single, second.

Well then, make that two eyes.

Donkey Kong?

One can only imagine the

trouble he"s got himself into this time.

Oh, Donkey Kong?

He most certainly has a habit of

stepping right into it.

Hmm, what"s this then?

Ahh!

Who turned out the lights?

KLUMP: Stoooooop!

KRUSHA: Ahh!

KLUMP: Stop!

Will somebody stop this thing?!

Help!

Bluster, help!

The plane is out of control!

Now, this plan"s going to

work like a 40-foot dream wave, Diddy.

Wow, it really looks like the

plane is outta control!

[Giggling]

Bluster won"t have a clue you're

controlling it.

He"ll swoop in in his

barrel-copter, save DK, and then

no one will owe anyone anything.

FUNKY: And old hair-part will

finally be off DK"s case!

It"s more fun being in one of

these biplanes than on top of

some skyscraper.

But where"s Bluster?

Hey, it"s Dixie's pet crab.

Aw, isn"t he cute?

Eating through all those

funny-looking wires?

[Electrical snapping, popping]

Uh oh.

This is probably a bad thing.

Heeeeelp!

The plane"s outta control!

Whoa, Funky, DK"s acting

suddenly improved, huh?

Uh, maybe you should ease off a

little, Funky.

That stuff you"re doing looks

kinda dangerous.

Uh, Funky?

Bad mojo, short stop.

Look, Ma!

No hands!

You mean the plane is really

out of control?

DK: Heeeelp!

Aaaaahhhh!

I"m one gone gorilla, one adios ape,

one past his primate!

One... CRANKY: Worthless,

knuckle-dragging numbskull!

Cranky!

I mean Cranky"s hologram, I mean...

You don"t know bananas about

flying a plane!

Quick, pull back on the yoke,

till you level the altimeter.

I didn"t know you could fly.

CRANKY: I"m one heck of a

Merengue dancer, too.

But this is no time to be

discussing my list of accomplishments!

Pull the yoke!

ROOL: All right, you

slick-haired, thick-jawed throwback!

I know you and Donkey Kong are

plotting against me.

I want every last detail of your

secret operation!

I don"t know what you're talking about!

I had an operation on my baby

toe once, but that"s it!

Games, is it?

[Beeping]

[Hydraulic whoosh]

Aaahh!

Penance?

My factory!

Sounds like hard labour.

Extremely hard labour.

You"ll find out just how

hard, unless you tell me the plan, Blister!

But there is no plan!

And that"s Bluster.

Time"s running out.

Get ready for some blisters, Bluster.

Some hero I turned out to be.

I can"t even get myself out of a jam!

Oh, what would Donkey Kong do?

Think, Bluster, thi...

Don"t I get a last request?

A last request?

I suppose.

But it can"t be too expensive.

Not at all.

I simple wish... [Clearing throat]

To sing a song.

♪ 100 banana bunches on the wall ♪

♪ 100 banana bunches

♪ If one of the bunches

should happen to bruise ♪

♪ 99 banana bunches on the wall ♪

♪ 99 banana bunches ♪ If one of the bunches

should happen to bruise ♪

♪ 98 banana bunches on the wall ♪

Everybody, come on, join in!

Ahaha!

♪ 97 banana bunches on the wall ♪

♪ 97 banana bunches

But I still don"t understand

why Bluster didn"t come to the rescue!

Why do you think I came to

you in the first place?

I saw a vision of Bluster in the

Crystal Coconut.

He was in King K. Rool"s factory.

Sounds like the hero saver needs saving.

Bananaaaaaaa, slamma!

ALL: Whoooaaah!

[Machinery popping]

DIDDY: The other way, DK, the other way!

It"s such a waste.

How loose, Big C?

DK can take care of himself.

I mean your plane.

Oh yeah.

Bummer.

♪ 1 banana bunch on the wall

♪ 1 banana bunch

♪ If the bunch should happen to bruise ♪

♪ 1 banana bunch on the wall

♪ 1 banana bunch

♪ And if that bunch of bananas

should bruise ♪

♪ No more banana bunches

on the waaa-aaaall! ♪

[Coughing]

One more time!

♪ 100 banana bunches on the wall ♪

♪ 100 banana bunches ♪ If the the bunch

should happen to bruise ♪

♪ 1 banana bunch on the wall

That"s enough!

Onto the platform!

Blister!

Those who are about to... work, salute you.

[Sobbing]

Good riddance.

DK: Banana slamma!

[Diddy giggling]

♪

The apes are making a move!

DK: I think I"m getting the hang of this!

[Giggling]

Attaboy, DK!

Hang on, little buddy.

Hang on!

[Laughing]

Ah!

♪

[Brakes screeching]

Ooooh, where"s that scaly,

fang-toothed fathead Klump when I need him?

Uh, is that, uh, recall,

reco-questin", your cold-bloodedness?

Looks like we made the scene just in time.

Ooh, I am doubly indebted to

you now, Donkey Kong!

[Groaning]

You don"t sound pleased?

Never mind, Bluster.

Just get in the plane.

ROOL: No one"s going anywhere.

Did I hear someone sing "100

Kritters on the wall"?

[Hydraulic humming]

Um, I, I believe that"s

supposed to be, uh, bananas.

[Nervous giggling]

Looks like your shift is about to start.

Oh, but don"t worry, you'll get

a coffee break every thousand years or so!

Hahaha!

Hey Bluster, this is devastating.

We"re done for, doomed, yet you look...

Curious?

Yes, as to what that crab is doing on

King K. Rool"s back.

You think someone with my

educational background is going

to fall for such a desperate,

infantile trick as the old crab

on the back routine?

[Crunching noise]

Yeeeaaaaaaooooow!

Ow, ow, ooh, ooh, ow!

Ah, ah, ooh, ooh!

Ooh.

Banana, slamma!

What?

No!

Whoa!

[Squashing]

What good did that do?

Oh, we"ll need a miracle to

get out of this one!

How about an out of control

general in an out of control mine car?

KLUMP: Ahhh, aaahhhh!

Whoooa!

[Wheels screeching on tracks]

Aaahhh!

♪

Since my crab diversion saved

not only you, but your

chatterbox buddy as well, we are

now even, Donkey Kong.

You don"t know how thankful I am, Bluster.

And so you should be.

You"re much too accident prone

to be anywhere near.

You"re a hazard to my health.

Oh, has anyone seen my pet crab?

[Crunching]

[Rool screaming]

♪