Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,576 --> 00:00:04,677
Sheldon, do you want to put
the tables after each section
2
00:00:04,746 --> 00:00:06,712
or in an appendix
at the end?
3
00:00:06,781 --> 00:00:09,048
You know what?
We wrote this paper together.
4
00:00:09,117 --> 00:00:10,816
I think we should
decide together
5
00:00:10,885 --> 00:00:14,220
that they go in an appendix
at the end.
6
00:00:14,289 --> 00:00:16,522
How about that?
There is an "I" in "team."
7
00:00:20,895 --> 00:00:23,563
- Look at what we made.
- I know.
8
00:00:23,631 --> 00:00:25,831
It really is the best
of both of us.
9
00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:28,601
It's got my math
and your sassy takedown
10
00:00:28,670 --> 00:00:30,236
of the fundamental nature
of symmetry.
11
00:00:30,305 --> 00:00:33,039
It's got my bottomless
intellectual curiosity
12
00:00:33,107 --> 00:00:34,874
and your petulant refusal
13
00:00:34,943 --> 00:00:37,777
to spell "gray" with an "a"
like an American.
14
00:00:37,845 --> 00:00:41,514
You realize we still have
a lot of work to do
15
00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:42,882
before we can publish.
16
00:00:42,951 --> 00:00:44,784
Perhaps we should
divide and conquer.
17
00:00:44,852 --> 00:00:47,353
Now, you track down
all the citations
18
00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:48,999
and properly note them
in our bibliography,
19
00:00:49,023 --> 00:00:51,057
and I will roll up
my sleeves
20
00:00:51,125 --> 00:00:53,593
and decide what font
we want to use.
21
00:00:53,661 --> 00:00:57,430
Sheldon, there are hundreds
of citations to track down.
22
00:00:57,498 --> 00:01:00,433
And thousands of fonts, but
you don't hear me complaining.
23
00:01:00,501 --> 00:01:03,536
I am not gonna
spend weeks
24
00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:05,705
in a library
looking up old papers.
25
00:01:05,773 --> 00:01:07,873
Can't we hire
a grad student to do it?
26
00:01:07,942 --> 00:01:09,141
Yeah, a grad student?
27
00:01:09,210 --> 00:01:11,010
I am not trusting
our unpublished paper
28
00:01:11,079 --> 00:01:12,245
to some millennial.
29
00:01:12,313 --> 00:01:13,713
They'll put unicorn emojis on it
30
00:01:13,781 --> 00:01:15,881
and then post it
on social media.
31
00:01:15,950 --> 00:01:17,783
Why would they do that?
32
00:01:17,852 --> 00:01:20,686
Economic anxiety, too much
avocado toast, who cares?
33
00:01:20,755 --> 00:01:24,991
Look, the point is, we can't
afford to have this paper leaked
34
00:01:25,059 --> 00:01:26,325
before we're ready to publish.
35
00:01:26,394 --> 00:01:28,038
That's how you kiss
the Nobel Prize good-bye
36
00:01:28,062 --> 00:01:30,329
instead of hello
as I intend to do.
37
00:01:30,398 --> 00:01:31,764
I assume you mean
metaphorically.
38
00:01:31,833 --> 00:01:34,000
Absolutely not. If the King
of Sweden hands me a medal,
39
00:01:34,068 --> 00:01:36,569
I intend to smear it with Purell
and then kiss it.
40
00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:39,472
But what if we ask one
of our friends to help us out?
41
00:01:39,540 --> 00:01:40,640
How about Leonard?
42
00:01:40,708 --> 00:01:44,176
Gee, I don't know.
Can we trust him?
43
00:01:44,245 --> 00:01:47,079
He's your best friend
in the whole world.
44
00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:48,481
Yes, but he's
always struck me
45
00:01:48,549 --> 00:01:50,082
as the guy in
the plane crash
46
00:01:50,151 --> 00:01:53,185
who doesn't wait until you're
all the way dead to eat you.
47
00:01:54,255 --> 00:01:56,756
I think
you can trust him.
48
00:01:56,824 --> 00:01:59,825
Oh, Amy, you never lose
that childlike innocence.
49
00:02:02,830 --> 00:02:04,930
Leonard, I need
to tell you something.
50
00:02:04,999 --> 00:02:06,999
I'm having an affair.
51
00:02:11,072 --> 00:02:12,571
Okay.
52
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:15,875
You have to swear
not to tell anybody.
53
00:02:15,943 --> 00:02:17,243
Okay.
54
00:02:18,313 --> 00:02:20,079
You are the only one
who knows.
55
00:02:20,148 --> 00:02:22,114
Uh, well, you and Rita,
the cafeteria lady
56
00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:24,650
who has been giving me
more than Tater Tots.
57
00:02:26,587 --> 00:02:28,154
Hey, Sheldon.
58
00:02:28,222 --> 00:02:30,189
Not a word.
59
00:02:35,296 --> 00:02:37,063
What did he want?
60
00:02:37,131 --> 00:02:38,842
Oh, nothing. He just concocted
some stupid test
61
00:02:38,866 --> 00:02:40,433
to see if I can keep a secret.
62
00:02:40,501 --> 00:02:41,501
Ooh, what's
the secret?
63
00:02:44,205 --> 00:02:46,305
I'm not gonna tell you that.
64
00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:48,153
The test is stupid,
but I still want to pass.
65
00:02:48,154 --> 00:02:50,254
# The Big Bang Theory 12x09 #
The Citation Negation
Original Air Date o
66
00:02:50,255 --> 00:02:53,790
# Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state #
67
00:02:53,848 --> 00:02:57,083
# Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! #
68
00:02:57,151 --> 00:02:58,718
# The Earth began to cool #
69
00:02:58,786 --> 00:03:01,454
# The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools #
70
00:03:01,522 --> 00:03:03,956
# We built the Wall #
# We built the pyramids #
71
00:03:04,025 --> 00:03:06,659
# Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery #
72
00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:08,561
# That all started
with a big bang #
73
00:03:08,629 --> 00:03:10,179
# Bang! #
74
00:03:10,183 --> 00:03:15,883
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
75
00:03:15,984 --> 00:03:19,420
Congratulations, Leonard, you
passed my secret loyalty test.
76
00:03:19,421 --> 00:03:21,270
The truth is, I was
never having an affair
77
00:03:21,271 --> 00:03:22,604
with the
cafeteria lady.
78
00:03:22,673 --> 00:03:25,040
There's only one woman who
gets to touch my no-no parts,
79
00:03:25,109 --> 00:03:26,174
and she's right here.
80
00:03:27,177 --> 00:03:29,544
- Sheldon.
- No, no.
81
00:03:31,749 --> 00:03:33,648
Well, I am shocked,
Sheldon,
82
00:03:33,717 --> 00:03:35,851
because I totally believed
that the woman you reported
83
00:03:35,919 --> 00:03:38,453
for being stingy with the peas
couldn't keep her hands off you.
84
00:03:40,057 --> 00:03:42,224
Well, I am a little hurt
that you weren't gonna tell me
85
00:03:42,292 --> 00:03:44,659
my husband was having an affair.
I thought we were friends.
86
00:03:44,728 --> 00:03:46,194
I didn't really believe him.
87
00:03:46,263 --> 00:03:48,441
Why not? You don't think
other women find him attractive?
88
00:03:48,465 --> 00:03:49,631
No.
89
00:03:52,503 --> 00:03:55,704
I suppose you're wondering why
I put you through all this.
90
00:03:55,773 --> 00:03:58,473
You mean the last two minutes
or the last 20 years?
91
00:03:59,910 --> 00:04:01,877
We need to ask you
a big favor.
92
00:04:01,945 --> 00:04:04,846
Well, you've certainly
gone about it the right way.
93
00:04:04,915 --> 00:04:06,526
You know we're almost
finished with our paper;
94
00:04:06,550 --> 00:04:09,050
we just need help
tracking down the citations.
95
00:04:09,119 --> 00:04:12,320
That's busywork. Can't you just
get a grad student to do it?
96
00:04:12,389 --> 00:04:15,657
No, this paper is
incredibly important to us,
97
00:04:15,726 --> 00:04:17,259
and we need someone
we can trust.
98
00:04:17,327 --> 00:04:18,527
Please, it would
mean a lot.
99
00:04:18,595 --> 00:04:20,695
Y-You know what? Sure.
100
00:04:20,764 --> 00:04:23,165
The three of us in the library
looking up old papers--
101
00:04:23,233 --> 00:04:24,599
that actually
could be kind of fun.
102
00:04:24,668 --> 00:04:25,901
Oh, no, we
won't be there.
103
00:04:25,969 --> 00:04:27,569
It just got more fun.
104
00:04:33,210 --> 00:04:35,544
Bam, took him out.
105
00:04:35,612 --> 00:04:38,447
Now I'm doing a victory
dance to celebrate.
106
00:04:41,351 --> 00:04:43,919
Where are you?
107
00:04:43,987 --> 00:04:46,621
About to shoot
some dancing jackass.
108
00:04:49,259 --> 00:04:51,259
Hey!
109
00:04:51,328 --> 00:04:53,929
And now I'm doing
a victory dance.
110
00:04:53,997 --> 00:04:55,764
What you playing?
111
00:04:55,833 --> 00:04:56,932
Fortnite.
112
00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:58,667
A bunch of people parachute
onto an island
113
00:04:58,735 --> 00:05:00,735
and fight it out to be
the last man standing.
114
00:05:00,804 --> 00:05:01,903
Like Hunger Games?
115
00:05:01,972 --> 00:05:03,338
More like Bachelor in Paradise,
116
00:05:03,407 --> 00:05:04,706
but not as cutthroat.
117
00:05:05,809 --> 00:05:07,576
Sounds fun. Can I play?
118
00:05:07,644 --> 00:05:10,045
I don't know if you'd like it.
It's kind of for gamers.
119
00:05:10,113 --> 00:05:13,014
Hey, I'm a gamer.
I play Candy Crush, Bejeweled,
120
00:05:13,083 --> 00:05:14,323
and Sesame Street
Letter School,
121
00:05:14,384 --> 00:05:16,224
which I beat our daughter at
every single time.
122
00:05:18,121 --> 00:05:19,588
All right, give it a shot.
123
00:05:19,656 --> 00:05:21,234
This one's how you move,
this is how you shoot.
124
00:05:21,258 --> 00:05:23,325
"A" jumps, "B" puts
you into build mode.
125
00:05:23,393 --> 00:05:24,960
And depending on what
you want to build,
126
00:05:25,028 --> 00:05:26,761
you can use LB, RB,
LT, or RT.
127
00:05:26,830 --> 00:05:29,097
Just put me in,
I'll figure it out.
128
00:05:29,166 --> 00:05:31,466
Oh, sounds like me
on our honeymoon.
129
00:05:33,270 --> 00:05:35,604
Okay, you're
skydiving down.
130
00:05:35,672 --> 00:05:37,706
You're almost
to the ground.
131
00:05:37,774 --> 00:05:39,808
Now, when you land,
you're gonna want...
132
00:05:39,877 --> 00:05:41,943
Okay, you're dead.
133
00:05:42,012 --> 00:05:45,814
Wait, that's it?
That wasn't fun at all.
134
00:05:45,883 --> 00:05:47,749
Oh, now it sounds like
you on our honeymoon.
135
00:05:50,487 --> 00:05:52,988
Thanks for helping with this.
136
00:05:53,056 --> 00:05:54,756
What are friends for?
137
00:05:54,825 --> 00:05:57,759
My friend sent me down to this
basement to do his grunt work,
138
00:05:57,828 --> 00:06:01,329
so I wouldn't know.
139
00:06:01,398 --> 00:06:03,198
Hey, probably shouldn't
say anything,
140
00:06:03,267 --> 00:06:06,535
but did you hear about
Sheldon and the lunch lady?
141
00:06:06,603 --> 00:06:08,904
Yeah, uh, that's not true.
142
00:06:08,972 --> 00:06:10,906
That's just something
Sheldon made up to test us.
143
00:06:10,974 --> 00:06:14,809
I wish I'd known that
before I called her a floozy
144
00:06:14,878 --> 00:06:17,812
in front of
the whole lunch line.
145
00:06:17,881 --> 00:06:20,715
This is a list of the papers
we need to pull.
146
00:06:20,784 --> 00:06:23,218
Why don't we split up?
You take half, I take half.
147
00:06:23,287 --> 00:06:24,986
I don't know, it's pretty
creepy down here.
148
00:06:25,055 --> 00:06:26,454
Maybe we should
stay together.
149
00:06:26,523 --> 00:06:28,290
Come on, Raj,
it's just a library.
150
00:06:28,358 --> 00:06:30,125
You could say that
about anything.
151
00:06:30,193 --> 00:06:32,073
It's just a cemetery.
It's just a haunted house.
152
00:06:32,129 --> 00:06:34,129
It's just a portal to hell.
153
00:06:34,197 --> 00:06:36,798
F-Fine, how about we split up
154
00:06:36,867 --> 00:06:38,711
but we stay in constant
communication with each other?
155
00:06:38,735 --> 00:06:40,702
Yeah, thank you.
156
00:06:48,645 --> 00:06:49,911
Leonard?
157
00:06:49,980 --> 00:06:51,780
- Still here.
- Okay.
158
00:06:56,353 --> 00:06:58,587
- Leonard?
- Still here.
159
00:06:58,655 --> 00:07:00,255
Okay.
160
00:07:06,663 --> 00:07:08,730
Leonard?
161
00:07:10,233 --> 00:07:11,933
Leonard?
162
00:07:14,371 --> 00:07:15,737
Oh, God!
163
00:07:18,642 --> 00:07:20,275
Too much dust.
164
00:07:26,950 --> 00:07:28,249
Hey, ready for lunch?
165
00:07:28,318 --> 00:07:29,417
Hang on.
166
00:07:29,486 --> 00:07:31,753
Really, video games?
167
00:07:31,822 --> 00:07:33,388
Is this some sort of
Freaky Friday thing
168
00:07:33,457 --> 00:07:35,624
where you're actually Howard?
169
00:07:35,692 --> 00:07:38,660
Please, if I were Howard,
I'd be doing this.
170
00:07:41,798 --> 00:07:45,467
You know what? He's not wrong.
171
00:07:45,535 --> 00:07:46,768
All right, great,
can we go?
172
00:07:46,837 --> 00:07:49,437
In a minute. I want to show
Howard I can play this game.
173
00:07:49,506 --> 00:07:51,973
You know, you make
a lot more money than he does.
174
00:07:52,042 --> 00:07:54,809
Can't you just rub
his nose in that?
175
00:07:54,878 --> 00:07:57,912
I can, but I want
to rub his nose in this.
176
00:07:57,981 --> 00:08:01,182
Ugh, damn it,
why can't I hit anybody?
177
00:08:01,251 --> 00:08:02,617
Here, let me try.
178
00:08:02,686 --> 00:08:05,487
Lots of luck--
it's way harder than it looks.
179
00:08:05,555 --> 00:08:07,322
Got him.
180
00:08:11,294 --> 00:08:14,696
Okay, this citation
is correct. How you doing?
181
00:08:14,765 --> 00:08:16,398
Pretty good. I'm just
looking through
182
00:08:16,466 --> 00:08:19,601
"The Effect of High Energy Muons
on Proton Pion Scattering
183
00:08:19,670 --> 00:08:22,604
at the National Accelerator..."
184
00:08:26,843 --> 00:08:28,476
"...Laboratory."
185
00:08:28,545 --> 00:08:31,279
Hey, should we take
a break?
186
00:08:31,348 --> 00:08:33,415
No, this actually
makes it more exciting.
187
00:08:33,483 --> 00:08:36,484
We have to get through all of
this before I run out of this.
188
00:08:36,553 --> 00:08:39,421
It's like the movie Speed,
but instead of a bus,
189
00:08:39,489 --> 00:08:41,256
it's your lungs.
190
00:08:41,291 --> 00:08:44,392
And instead of Sandra Bullock,
it has sadness.
191
00:08:44,461 --> 00:08:47,395
Why did you pull
this Russian paper?
192
00:08:47,464 --> 00:08:49,008
Oh, it was cited
in this paper over here,
193
00:08:49,032 --> 00:08:50,532
so I thought
we should check it out.
194
00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:52,467
Mm, it's not
translated.
195
00:08:52,536 --> 00:08:54,580
Maybe we should talk to Howard;
his Russian's pretty good.
196
00:08:54,604 --> 00:08:57,972
We don't need Howard.
I've got Google Translate.
197
00:08:58,041 --> 00:09:00,842
Okay, here we go,
198
00:09:00,911 --> 00:09:02,744
from Russian to English.
199
00:09:04,147 --> 00:09:08,850
"Examinations of moose chowder
in lemon parachutes."
200
00:09:10,220 --> 00:09:14,589
Yeah, okay, now I know why
this app is free.
201
00:09:16,059 --> 00:09:19,861
Oh, gosh, my Russian's
a little rusty.
202
00:09:19,930 --> 00:09:22,864
If it helps, this word
may be "moose."
203
00:09:27,170 --> 00:09:29,003
Okay.
204
00:09:29,072 --> 00:09:30,438
This paper is called
205
00:09:30,507 --> 00:09:34,242
"Examinations of a
206
00:09:34,311 --> 00:09:37,445
Super-Asymmetric Model
of the Universe"
207
00:09:37,514 --> 00:09:40,715
by Dr. Vasily
Gregora-poli-popivich.
208
00:09:40,784 --> 00:09:42,650
W-Wait, so Amy
and Sheldon
209
00:09:42,719 --> 00:09:44,519
weren't the first
to think of super-asymmetry?
210
00:09:44,554 --> 00:09:46,821
No, doesn't look like it.
This is from 1978.
211
00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:50,425
Okay, well, they might need
to rename their theory
212
00:09:50,494 --> 00:09:54,362
"The Cooper-Fowler
Gregora-poli-popivich Theory."
213
00:09:54,431 --> 00:09:56,311
Kind of rolls right off
your tongue, doesn't it?
214
00:09:58,001 --> 00:09:59,868
Sheldon is not gonna be
happy about this.
215
00:09:59,936 --> 00:10:02,570
Well, he's gonna be less happy
about this, uh...
216
00:10:02,639 --> 00:10:05,206
"The super-asymmetric model
217
00:10:05,275 --> 00:10:07,809
"is inherently flawed
218
00:10:07,878 --> 00:10:11,780
and does not bear the weight
of further examination." Hmm.
219
00:10:11,848 --> 00:10:14,349
So this disproves their theory?
220
00:10:14,417 --> 00:10:15,483
Sounds like it.
221
00:10:15,552 --> 00:10:17,719
Oh, how are we gonna tell him?
222
00:10:17,788 --> 00:10:20,588
That's easy. Just go up to him
and say, "Sheldon,
223
00:10:20,657 --> 00:10:22,590
Raj has something to tell you."
224
00:10:24,161 --> 00:10:26,494
Why do I have to tell him?
225
00:10:26,563 --> 00:10:27,862
You did find it.
226
00:10:27,931 --> 00:10:29,611
I fou-- but he's the one
who translated it.
227
00:10:29,666 --> 00:10:32,233
Okay, okay, h-how about this?
We all tell him.
228
00:10:32,302 --> 00:10:33,735
Or even better: you tell him.
229
00:10:33,804 --> 00:10:37,472
Yeah, that makes the most sense.
230
00:10:37,541 --> 00:10:39,874
You guys are such cowards.
231
00:10:39,943 --> 00:10:41,843
Yes, we are.
232
00:10:51,281 --> 00:10:53,214
Hey, Denise. Is Stuart here?
233
00:10:53,283 --> 00:10:54,782
Oh, no. Doctor's appointment.
234
00:10:54,851 --> 00:10:55,883
Oh, is he okay?
235
00:10:55,952 --> 00:10:58,386
Not since I've known him.
236
00:10:58,454 --> 00:11:01,489
Which brings up
an interesting question.
237
00:11:01,558 --> 00:11:05,826
You and Stuart. Why?
238
00:11:05,895 --> 00:11:08,596
I don't know.
My parents owned a funeral home.
239
00:11:08,665 --> 00:11:10,464
Read into that what you will.
240
00:11:10,533 --> 00:11:13,067
What can I help you with?
241
00:11:13,136 --> 00:11:16,103
I was hoping Stuart could show
me how to play Fortnite.
242
00:11:16,172 --> 00:11:17,972
- Mm, I can teach you.
- Really, you good?
243
00:11:18,041 --> 00:11:21,342
Look at my skin. I haven't been
outside in six years.
244
00:11:21,411 --> 00:11:22,810
So you'll coach me?
245
00:11:22,879 --> 00:11:25,146
Sure. Now let me ask
you a question.
246
00:11:25,215 --> 00:11:27,582
Howard. Why?
247
00:11:28,685 --> 00:11:31,285
You got eyes--
what do you think?
248
00:11:56,045 --> 00:11:58,279
Wow, I really wish
I didn't see this.
249
00:11:58,348 --> 00:12:00,381
Oh, hey.
250
00:12:00,450 --> 00:12:03,251
I just need to give Sheldon
some bad news,
251
00:12:03,319 --> 00:12:05,119
and I really don't want to.
252
00:12:05,188 --> 00:12:07,366
- Oh, my God. Is everything okay?
- No, I-I found a paper
253
00:12:07,390 --> 00:12:09,323
that proves their theory wrong.
254
00:12:09,392 --> 00:12:11,325
They thought this was gonna
be their Nobel Prize.
255
00:12:11,394 --> 00:12:12,827
It's gonna break his heart.
256
00:12:12,895 --> 00:12:16,230
Oh, man. Maybe leave
an anonymous note, you know,
257
00:12:16,299 --> 00:12:18,232
like in high school,
when you want to let
258
00:12:18,301 --> 00:12:21,569
your best friend know that
her boyfriend's cheating on her.
259
00:12:21,638 --> 00:12:24,305
Why wouldn't
you just tell her that?
260
00:12:24,374 --> 00:12:27,141
I don't know.
Maybe you had a hickey.
261
00:12:30,046 --> 00:12:31,790
I-Isn't it better
to get bad news from a friend?
262
00:12:31,814 --> 00:12:33,080
Trust me, it's not.
263
00:12:33,149 --> 00:12:35,383
I went to prom
with a hickey and a black eye.
264
00:12:36,986 --> 00:12:38,706
Come on, knock on the door.
You can do this.
265
00:12:38,755 --> 00:12:40,721
All right, a-all right,
here I go.
266
00:12:40,790 --> 00:12:42,556
Oh, wait, just let me
get inside.
267
00:12:42,625 --> 00:12:44,225
Why?
268
00:12:44,294 --> 00:12:46,894
"Why"? Come on.
269
00:12:51,901 --> 00:12:53,768
Oh, hey, Leonard.
270
00:12:53,836 --> 00:12:55,069
Is the podcast too loud?
271
00:12:55,138 --> 00:12:56,370
I didn't hear a podcast.
272
00:12:56,439 --> 00:13:00,358
I told you no one could hear it.
273
00:13:00,426 --> 00:13:03,194
Well, I heard Ira Glass,
so he's either in your earbuds
274
00:13:03,262 --> 00:13:05,713
or clinging to the ceiling
like a gecko.
275
00:13:08,184 --> 00:13:11,068
Actually, I-I need to talk to
both of you about your paper.
276
00:13:11,137 --> 00:13:12,887
Oh, right,
how are the citations coming?
277
00:13:12,955 --> 00:13:14,433
Well, Raj and I were
chasing them down
278
00:13:14,457 --> 00:13:17,458
like you asked us to, and, um,
279
00:13:17,527 --> 00:13:18,826
we came a-across a,
280
00:13:18,895 --> 00:13:23,230
a Russian paper that seems
to disprove super-asymmetry.
281
00:13:23,299 --> 00:13:25,599
Are you sure?
282
00:13:25,668 --> 00:13:28,703
Yeah, uh, Howard translated it.
283
00:13:30,206 --> 00:13:32,139
I'm so sorry.
284
00:13:35,278 --> 00:13:37,445
Sheldon,
are you, are you all right?
285
00:13:37,513 --> 00:13:39,714
Oh, yes, of course.
286
00:13:39,782 --> 00:13:41,682
Thank you for telling us,
Leonard.
287
00:13:41,751 --> 00:13:42,850
I'm sure that wasn't easy.
288
00:13:45,188 --> 00:13:47,121
I guess we don't need
this anymore.
289
00:14:06,175 --> 00:14:10,711
So what are you listening to,
This American Life?
290
00:14:13,583 --> 00:14:16,150
Okay, so walk up to
that chest and push X.
291
00:14:16,219 --> 00:14:18,285
X. Push X.
292
00:14:18,354 --> 00:14:19,453
Which one's X?
293
00:14:19,522 --> 00:14:22,556
The one with the X on it.
294
00:14:22,625 --> 00:14:24,125
Take it easy,
I'm new at this.
295
00:14:24,193 --> 00:14:26,460
What, the alphabet?
296
00:14:26,529 --> 00:14:28,662
You don't have to be snarky.
297
00:14:28,731 --> 00:14:29,942
Hey, do you want
to play the game,
298
00:14:29,966 --> 00:14:31,206
or do you want to crawl back up
299
00:14:31,267 --> 00:14:34,268
your mommy's shirt
and chow down like a baby?
300
00:14:34,337 --> 00:14:36,670
Damn, what is wrong with you?
301
00:14:36,739 --> 00:14:38,617
I'm sorry, I thought you
wanted to beat your husband.
302
00:14:38,641 --> 00:14:40,307
- I do.
- Well, then suck it up!
303
00:14:40,376 --> 00:14:41,942
Okay!
304
00:14:48,918 --> 00:14:51,152
Hi.
305
00:14:51,220 --> 00:14:52,586
Can I do anything?
306
00:14:52,655 --> 00:14:55,356
No.
307
00:14:55,425 --> 00:14:58,025
I can make you some tea,
I-I could sing "Soft Kitty."
308
00:14:58,094 --> 00:15:00,361
I don't understand how
you're not more upset by this.
309
00:15:00,430 --> 00:15:01,529
This is your paper, too.
310
00:15:01,597 --> 00:15:04,565
I am upset, Sheldon.
311
00:15:04,634 --> 00:15:07,568
I'm just trying to hold
it together for you.
312
00:15:07,637 --> 00:15:11,972
Like when that goose wouldn't
leave us alone at brunch.
313
00:15:12,041 --> 00:15:13,574
That thing scared you, too?
314
00:15:13,643 --> 00:15:18,546
Well, of course it did.
I was wearing a down jacket.
315
00:15:18,614 --> 00:15:21,048
Well, I don't need you
to pretend to be okay for me.
316
00:15:21,117 --> 00:15:22,361
If anything,
that makes it worse.
317
00:15:22,385 --> 00:15:26,954
Fine. I'm not okay.
318
00:15:27,023 --> 00:15:29,156
We came up with this idea
at our wedding.
319
00:15:29,225 --> 00:15:32,159
We poured months
of our lives into it.
320
00:15:32,228 --> 00:15:34,328
I thought we were changing
the course of science,
321
00:15:34,397 --> 00:15:37,698
and now it's all gone.
I'm devastated.
322
00:15:39,101 --> 00:15:41,035
I was wrong,
that makes it worse.
323
00:15:41,103 --> 00:15:42,203
Go back to being happy.
324
00:15:49,946 --> 00:15:51,111
Hey, guys.
325
00:15:51,180 --> 00:15:52,580
- Hey.
- Hey.
326
00:15:52,648 --> 00:15:54,882
You, uh, playing that,
what's it called again?
327
00:15:54,951 --> 00:15:57,418
Fortnow?
328
00:15:57,487 --> 00:15:59,253
- Fortnite.
- Right.
329
00:15:59,322 --> 00:16:01,622
I guess I forgot 'cause I only
played it that one time
330
00:16:01,691 --> 00:16:05,226
and I was so bad at it.
331
00:16:05,294 --> 00:16:07,528
Don't beat yourself up.
It's a hard game.
332
00:16:07,597 --> 00:16:09,697
Would you mind if I gave it
another shot?
333
00:16:09,765 --> 00:16:11,265
Mm, maybe later, Berna...
334
00:16:11,334 --> 00:16:13,934
Give me.
335
00:16:14,003 --> 00:16:17,304
Where are you, Howard,
where are you?
336
00:16:17,373 --> 00:16:21,242
Let me just build a little ramp,
get some height.
337
00:16:21,310 --> 00:16:25,379
You want to press B to go into
build-- oh, you already did it.
338
00:16:25,448 --> 00:16:27,815
Did I? I'm just hitting buttons.
339
00:16:27,884 --> 00:16:29,116
Wee!
340
00:16:31,287 --> 00:16:33,420
I see your ramp.
I'm coming for you.
341
00:16:33,489 --> 00:16:35,456
You can try, but...
342
00:16:35,525 --> 00:16:36,924
Gotcha.
343
00:16:36,993 --> 00:16:41,061
Son of a bitch.
344
00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:42,329
Want to play again?
345
00:16:42,398 --> 00:16:43,531
No!
346
00:16:45,835 --> 00:16:47,568
- Howard.
- What?
347
00:16:47,637 --> 00:16:50,104
I make more money than you.
348
00:16:53,309 --> 00:16:56,277
You got yourself
a good one there, buddy.
349
00:16:59,248 --> 00:17:01,682
So neither of them
showed up for work today?
350
00:17:01,751 --> 00:17:03,295
No, I tried calling
and no one picked up.
351
00:17:03,319 --> 00:17:04,718
Look, I'm sure
they're fine.
352
00:17:04,787 --> 00:17:06,765
They were probably up all night
coming up with a new theory.
353
00:17:06,789 --> 00:17:09,590
I-I also texted to see
if he wanted to go to the new
354
00:17:09,659 --> 00:17:12,159
Fantastic Beasts movie
and he didn't respond.
355
00:17:12,228 --> 00:17:14,788
All right, well, they're already
dead. There's nothing we can do.
356
00:17:20,002 --> 00:17:22,336
Come in.
357
00:17:26,842 --> 00:17:28,809
Hey...
358
00:17:28,878 --> 00:17:32,646
You guys look all comfy.
Did-did you take the day off?
359
00:17:32,715 --> 00:17:35,049
It's Saturday.
360
00:17:35,117 --> 00:17:37,217
No, it's not.
361
00:17:37,286 --> 00:17:41,021
Great, another thing
we're wrong about.
362
00:17:42,558 --> 00:17:44,892
How many does
that make, Amy?
363
00:17:44,961 --> 00:17:48,329
Two.
364
00:17:48,397 --> 00:17:50,164
Two things.
365
00:17:50,232 --> 00:17:53,033
What happened to us?
366
00:17:53,102 --> 00:17:55,169
I'll tell you what happened.
367
00:17:55,237 --> 00:17:58,205
Professor Gregoropovich.
368
00:17:58,274 --> 00:18:00,808
I-I think it's
Gregora-poli-popivich, but...
369
00:18:07,350 --> 00:18:09,516
Three.
370
00:18:09,585 --> 00:18:13,520
Look, you guys, you had a,
you had a setback, you know?
371
00:18:13,589 --> 00:18:16,156
This is the time you got to
dig in and-and try harder.
372
00:18:16,225 --> 00:18:19,059
It's like halftime
and you're down by seven.
373
00:18:20,229 --> 00:18:21,362
What are you doing?
374
00:18:21,430 --> 00:18:22,563
All right,
it's-it's like
375
00:18:22,632 --> 00:18:25,132
Bat-halftime and you're down
by Bat-seven.
376
00:18:26,802 --> 00:18:28,202
Let me try.
377
00:18:28,270 --> 00:18:30,838
You-you guys can't just give up.
378
00:18:30,906 --> 00:18:32,818
Uh, individually, you are
the smartest people I know.
379
00:18:32,842 --> 00:18:35,209
Together, you can do anything.
380
00:18:35,277 --> 00:18:37,322
I appreciate what you're trying
to do but please stop.
381
00:18:37,346 --> 00:18:39,546
You can't make this better.
382
00:18:39,615 --> 00:18:41,548
- All right, Amy, listen...
- I'm with Sheldon.
383
00:18:41,617 --> 00:18:43,283
We worked our butts off
on this paper
384
00:18:43,352 --> 00:18:44,852
and it was all for nothing.
385
00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:47,087
And if you think
some pep talk can fix that,
386
00:18:47,156 --> 00:18:50,424
then you don't understand
how much this meant to us.
387
00:18:50,493 --> 00:18:51,725
Is there anything we can do?
388
00:18:51,794 --> 00:18:53,560
No.
389
00:18:53,629 --> 00:18:55,195
Yeah-- wait.
390
00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:57,064
Do I smell Siam Palace?
391
00:18:57,133 --> 00:18:59,566
Oh, yeah, it's our dinner.
392
00:19:04,273 --> 00:19:06,774
I mean, it's your dinner.
393
00:19:06,842 --> 00:19:09,543
Any mango sticky rice?
394
00:19:09,612 --> 00:19:10,711
No.
395
00:19:10,780 --> 00:19:13,113
And the blows keep coming.
396
00:19:17,425 --> 00:19:20,660
I see you. I see you...
397
00:19:20,728 --> 00:19:22,161
and boom.
398
00:19:22,230 --> 00:19:25,164
Gotcha! How's it feel, Penny?
399
00:19:25,233 --> 00:19:28,534
Like I don't care at all.
400
00:19:28,603 --> 00:19:31,270
Wrong, it feels bad because
you lost and I won.
401
00:19:31,339 --> 00:19:33,372
Whoo! What a rush!
402
00:19:33,441 --> 00:19:35,708
All right, can we go eat now?
403
00:19:35,777 --> 00:19:36,777
- Hell yeah.
- All right.
404
00:19:36,844 --> 00:19:37,977
Hey, how's it going?
405
00:19:38,046 --> 00:19:40,579
Boom!
406
00:19:41,950 --> 00:19:45,017
Okay, I'm-I'm gonna drive.
407
00:19:45,563 --> 00:19:52,563
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
29975
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof