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1
00:00:07,570 --> 00:00:11,043
Previously on "Stan Against Evil"...
2
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Sorry.
3
00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:49,949
Tonight's episode...
4
00:00:49,951 --> 00:00:53,285
"Cuckoo for Murder Puffs."
5
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_
6
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Headed to Willard's Mill?
7
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Hop on in, friend.
8
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Car trouble?
9
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Assumed it'd be car trouble, though
I don't see a car back there.
10
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Are you hurt? I could
take you to the hospital.
11
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Not hurt.
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So, um, what brings you
to Willard's Mill?
13
00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:49,152
I'm here to collect souls.
14
00:01:50,426 --> 00:01:52,725
And here we are. Willard's Mill.
15
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Just cut through those trees,
and it's about 18 miles.
16
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Good, good, good.
17
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Just get out of the car,
18
00:02:03,004 --> 00:02:04,649
just like you're doing now, and, uh...
19
00:02:04,650 --> 00:02:07,072
great.
20
00:02:07,541 --> 00:02:08,340
Ohh!
21
00:02:08,342 --> 00:02:10,809
No, no, no! No, no!
22
00:02:29,198 --> 00:02:32,442
Synced and corrected by hawken45
for www.addic7ed.com
23
00:02:39,952 --> 00:02:41,146
Denise!
24
00:02:41,842 --> 00:02:45,019
You been flushing stale bread
down the toilet again?
25
00:02:47,188 --> 00:02:49,582
You call it "flushing bread
down the toilet."
26
00:02:49,584 --> 00:02:52,250
I call it "feeding the sewer pigeons."
27
00:02:52,252 --> 00:02:53,385
But I've told you,
28
00:02:53,387 --> 00:02:55,253
there... there is
no such thing as the...
29
00:02:58,926 --> 00:03:01,252
Just call the plumber, will you, please?
30
00:03:01,253 --> 00:03:03,695
Can you do it? I'm still getting ready.
31
00:03:03,696 --> 00:03:06,264
Kevin's taking me to see
the original play
32
00:03:06,266 --> 00:03:08,533
that inspired all
the "Fast and Furious" movies.
33
00:03:08,535 --> 00:03:10,744
I don't look too slutty, do I?
34
00:03:13,074 --> 00:03:14,941
Oh, I just look so warped.
35
00:03:16,301 --> 00:03:17,876
And dented.
36
00:03:17,878 --> 00:03:19,403
Oh. Ugh.
37
00:03:19,404 --> 00:03:21,966
Sweetheart, you look fine.
38
00:03:22,683 --> 00:03:24,283
Go out and have a good time.
39
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Or go out and have a bad time,
40
00:03:26,487 --> 00:03:27,992
but... but for the love of Christ,
41
00:03:27,993 --> 00:03:29,021
just go out.
42
00:03:29,023 --> 00:03:31,456
Just go out. Just go out.
43
00:03:31,457 --> 00:03:32,678
- Just go out.
- Okay.
44
00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:33,587
Just go out.
45
00:03:36,930 --> 00:03:37,962
Yeah, well, make it quick.
46
00:03:37,972 --> 00:03:40,031
My kitchen smells like a fart threw up.
47
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Ah.
48
00:03:42,970 --> 00:03:44,102
Hmm.
49
00:03:45,420 --> 00:03:46,819
You called for a plumber?
50
00:03:46,892 --> 00:03:48,019
I just hung up.
51
00:03:48,630 --> 00:03:50,443
Sorry for the great service, pal.
52
00:03:52,373 --> 00:03:54,574
Either this guy was savagely beaten,
53
00:03:54,728 --> 00:03:56,260
or this car was driven by
54
00:03:56,277 --> 00:03:58,678
a hundred pounds of lasagna in a suit.
55
00:03:58,792 --> 00:03:59,858
Oof.
56
00:03:59,979 --> 00:04:01,785
That looks like a pot of beef stroganoff
57
00:04:01,786 --> 00:04:03,008
in a three-piece suit.
58
00:04:03,486 --> 00:04:04,685
I said lasagna.
59
00:04:04,750 --> 00:04:06,750
That's funny!
60
00:04:06,927 --> 00:04:08,187
That's...
61
00:04:08,188 --> 00:04:09,030
Mm.
62
00:04:09,030 --> 00:04:09,992
Sorry I'm late.
63
00:04:09,993 --> 00:04:12,096
I had a crazy weekend down in Boston
64
00:04:12,097 --> 00:04:13,777
at the Deputies Convention.
65
00:04:13,778 --> 00:04:15,349
There's a Deputies Convention?
66
00:04:15,350 --> 00:04:16,720
Yeah, Dep-Con.
67
00:04:17,204 --> 00:04:18,136
I got second place
68
00:04:18,138 --> 00:04:19,880
in the second-in-command contest,
69
00:04:19,881 --> 00:04:22,542
which, of course, is their first place.
70
00:04:22,543 --> 00:04:23,879
- Wow.
- I also got this.
71
00:04:24,439 --> 00:04:25,568
It's a SmartStick.
72
00:04:25,762 --> 00:04:27,718
Yeah, it's linked to an app on my phone.
73
00:04:27,719 --> 00:04:30,568
It gives me realtime updates
on the stick's location.
74
00:04:31,618 --> 00:04:34,076
SmartStick location... hip.
75
00:04:35,156 --> 00:04:37,431
And it's also got a wicked
theft-prevention feature.
76
00:04:37,432 --> 00:04:40,050
It electrocutes anyone
who tries to grab it from me.
77
00:04:40,051 --> 00:04:41,960
Or me if I grab it wrong.
78
00:04:42,711 --> 00:04:44,628
So, what are we thinking here?
79
00:04:44,629 --> 00:04:46,035
Suicide?
80
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:48,611
Leon, his head is twisted
all the way around
81
00:04:48,612 --> 00:04:50,320
and half his bones are broken.
82
00:04:50,838 --> 00:04:53,076
Eh, must have really hated himself.
83
00:04:54,308 --> 00:04:56,162
Mm-hmm.
84
00:04:57,978 --> 00:04:59,020
Mr. Miller?
85
00:04:59,550 --> 00:05:00,683
Can I show you something?
86
00:05:00,684 --> 00:05:03,036
Uh, what do you got?
87
00:05:03,407 --> 00:05:05,703
- A C.H.U.D.?
- What's a C.H.U.D.?
88
00:05:05,704 --> 00:05:08,188
Cannibalistic Humanoid
Underground Dweller.
89
00:05:08,189 --> 00:05:11,070
- What are you, dense?
- I'm not much of a reader.
90
00:05:11,071 --> 00:05:12,047
Look at that.
91
00:05:15,441 --> 00:05:16,595
Die!
92
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:19,464
What the hell are ya doing?
93
00:05:22,769 --> 00:05:24,718
Stop resisting!
94
00:05:24,719 --> 00:05:27,526
Well, you have exactly
zero upper-body strength.
95
00:05:27,527 --> 00:05:28,941
Die! Die!
96
00:05:28,943 --> 00:05:29,941
Oh, stop.
97
00:05:29,943 --> 00:05:31,943
Ohh! God!
98
00:05:31,945 --> 00:05:33,278
Right on the knob.
99
00:05:37,217 --> 00:05:38,550
Forget it.
100
00:05:41,955 --> 00:05:43,555
What are you, one of these demons
101
00:05:43,557 --> 00:05:45,690
sent by Constable Eccles
to kill me and Evie?
102
00:05:45,692 --> 00:05:47,343
No. Yeah.
103
00:05:47,828 --> 00:05:49,802
Yeah, and you need
to be killed real soon.
104
00:05:49,803 --> 00:05:51,830
We know what you're up to with Haurus.
105
00:05:51,832 --> 00:05:53,367
Can I ask you a personal question?
106
00:05:53,368 --> 00:05:54,660
Yeah. Why not?
107
00:05:55,101 --> 00:05:56,983
What do they call you down there?
108
00:05:57,578 --> 00:05:59,245
The Red Ninja? Oh!
109
00:05:59,366 --> 00:06:01,499
Eh, my heart's not in it, okay?
110
00:06:03,638 --> 00:06:05,823
- I mean, who could care?
- Mm-hmm.
111
00:06:08,715 --> 00:06:11,123
They sent me here,
I tried, and I failed.
112
00:06:14,142 --> 00:06:15,808
Okay, I'll get outta your hair.
113
00:06:15,841 --> 00:06:17,816
Just a second there, Bruce Lee.
114
00:06:18,355 --> 00:06:19,975
You ain't fixing my toilet?
115
00:06:20,346 --> 00:06:22,379
You know I'm not a real plumber, right?
116
00:06:22,453 --> 00:06:23,719
Give it your best shot.
117
00:06:23,864 --> 00:06:25,931
Hell never ends.
118
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Mm.
119
00:06:27,067 --> 00:06:29,467
- Hey, I'm good at this!
- Yeah.
120
00:06:29,469 --> 00:06:31,074
Can I, uh, pick your
brain for a second, there?
121
00:06:31,075 --> 00:06:31,796
Sure.
122
00:06:31,797 --> 00:06:32,854
Bill, by the way.
123
00:06:32,855 --> 00:06:34,398
Bill the Demon. Terrific stuff.
124
00:06:34,399 --> 00:06:35,320
Stanley Miller.
125
00:06:35,791 --> 00:06:36,990
Stan.
126
00:06:37,143 --> 00:06:38,577
Oh.
127
00:06:43,551 --> 00:06:44,891
Uh, Denise,
128
00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:48,402
this is not the Yaphet Kotto
Community Playhouse.
129
00:06:48,403 --> 00:06:49,137
No.
130
00:06:49,789 --> 00:06:53,629
This is where kids park and... canoodle.
131
00:06:54,542 --> 00:06:55,633
Oh.
132
00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:57,337
Oh!
133
00:06:58,605 --> 00:06:59,500
Oh...
134
00:07:02,799 --> 00:07:03,941
Mm.
135
00:07:05,039 --> 00:07:06,302
- Mm.
- Mm.
136
00:07:07,041 --> 00:07:07,678
- Mm.
- Mm.
137
00:07:07,679 --> 00:07:09,029
- I can't do this!
- I knew it.
138
00:07:09,030 --> 00:07:10,631
- You're Amish.
- No.
139
00:07:11,504 --> 00:07:13,804
No, it... it's that kid over there.
140
00:07:14,449 --> 00:07:16,069
He keeps staring at us.
141
00:07:18,185 --> 00:07:19,984
I'll go talk to him.
142
00:07:24,725 --> 00:07:26,281
What's your problem?
143
00:07:28,397 --> 00:07:29,519
Hey, uh, buddy,
144
00:07:30,264 --> 00:07:31,937
could ya maybe not stare?
145
00:07:33,198 --> 00:07:34,930
Trying to get in the zone.
146
00:07:35,669 --> 00:07:37,135
Hey.
147
00:07:41,208 --> 00:07:43,207
My God!
148
00:07:43,209 --> 00:07:45,259
This guy has no bones.
149
00:07:47,547 --> 00:07:48,641
Wait a minute.
150
00:07:49,215 --> 00:07:50,969
His girlfriend is dead.
151
00:07:51,751 --> 00:07:54,659
This guy with no bones
is dating a dead woman!
152
00:07:54,797 --> 00:07:57,932
Kevin, they're both dead.
153
00:07:59,797 --> 00:08:00,745
You're right.
154
00:08:01,945 --> 00:08:03,228
I better get digging.
155
00:08:03,230 --> 00:08:04,951
- What?!
- Sorry.
156
00:08:05,103 --> 00:08:07,037
I'm... I'm always at work in my head.
157
00:08:13,301 --> 00:08:15,068
Personally, I don't care what you do,
158
00:08:15,070 --> 00:08:16,470
but I'm not the one calling the shots.
159
00:08:16,472 --> 00:08:19,258
If I was, I probably wouldn't
have gotten burned at the stake.
160
00:08:19,259 --> 00:08:21,461
- You know what I mean?
- Eccles.
161
00:08:21,748 --> 00:08:23,272
That son of a bitch.
162
00:08:23,272 --> 00:08:25,512
He's gonna get what's
coming to him soon enough.
163
00:08:25,513 --> 00:08:27,290
But let me pivot, Bill the Demon.
164
00:08:27,457 --> 00:08:30,428
You say you're familiar
with this demon named Haurus?
165
00:08:30,457 --> 00:08:31,257
Yeah.
166
00:08:31,481 --> 00:08:32,547
Yeah, I know him.
167
00:08:32,619 --> 00:08:34,263
I need to find a way to contact him.
168
00:08:34,295 --> 00:08:36,788
I need... I need to get
in touch with this guy.
169
00:08:36,790 --> 00:08:37,889
You don't want to do that.
170
00:08:37,891 --> 00:08:40,469
Stan? Stan.
171
00:08:41,482 --> 00:08:43,662
Stan, we got another demon...
172
00:08:43,664 --> 00:08:46,431
stration to present at the senior center
173
00:08:46,433 --> 00:08:49,768
about why old people open their
mouths when they're driving.
174
00:08:49,770 --> 00:08:51,970
It's okay, it's okay. This is Bill.
175
00:08:51,972 --> 00:08:53,905
Bill, this is Evie. Evie, this is Bill.
176
00:08:53,907 --> 00:08:54,740
Bill's a demon.
177
00:08:54,741 --> 00:08:56,419
Hands where I can see 'em!
178
00:08:57,310 --> 00:08:59,131
They are where you can see 'em.
179
00:08:59,779 --> 00:09:00,812
Aha!
180
00:09:03,153 --> 00:09:05,224
Thank you for your compliance.
181
00:09:08,388 --> 00:09:09,788
Why are you having a beer with him?
182
00:09:09,790 --> 00:09:11,856
Oh, take it easy.
Bill's good people, huh?
183
00:09:11,858 --> 00:09:13,392
It's not his fault he's a demon.
184
00:09:13,394 --> 00:09:14,526
Right, pal?
185
00:09:15,328 --> 00:09:16,328
Well, it is his fault that
186
00:09:16,330 --> 00:09:19,063
two teenagers and a motorist are dead.
187
00:09:19,065 --> 00:09:20,298
No, no, no. That wasn't me.
188
00:09:20,300 --> 00:09:21,666
That was the Bondsman.
189
00:09:21,668 --> 00:09:22,701
The who?
190
00:09:22,703 --> 00:09:24,535
Yeah, so, if you don't kill me
191
00:09:24,537 --> 00:09:25,465
and I don't kill you,
192
00:09:25,466 --> 00:09:28,273
Eccles sends this, uh, demon
they call the Bondsman
193
00:09:28,275 --> 00:09:30,217
to drag me back to the pit.
194
00:09:31,344 --> 00:09:34,729
And I was hoping to have a
little time to just hang out.
195
00:09:34,731 --> 00:09:35,495
Ah.
196
00:09:35,631 --> 00:09:38,083
The leaves are so gorgeous
this time of year.
197
00:09:39,420 --> 00:09:41,420
If the Bondsman is only after you,
198
00:09:41,422 --> 00:09:43,555
why is he killing other people?
199
00:09:44,066 --> 00:09:45,805
"Because he likes it."
200
00:09:46,793 --> 00:09:48,426
- "Dirty Harry!"
- Yes!
201
00:09:48,428 --> 00:09:51,629
Oh! Classic stuff, Bill.
202
00:09:51,631 --> 00:09:53,364
You know, I took my wife, Claire,
203
00:09:53,366 --> 00:09:54,833
to that on our first date.
204
00:09:54,835 --> 00:09:56,634
She loves that movie.
205
00:09:56,636 --> 00:09:58,239
Oh, nice!
206
00:09:58,240 --> 00:09:59,370
Hello?
207
00:09:59,372 --> 00:10:01,372
Does that mean that the "Bondsman"
208
00:10:01,374 --> 00:10:02,707
is gonna kill us, too?
209
00:10:02,709 --> 00:10:03,397
Oh, yeah.
210
00:10:03,777 --> 00:10:05,009
And he'll do it in a way
211
00:10:05,011 --> 00:10:06,444
that'll really make you wish
I had killed you.
212
00:10:06,446 --> 00:10:07,713
Hmm.
213
00:10:07,715 --> 00:10:09,914
Then you need to turn yourself
in to this Bondsman
214
00:10:09,916 --> 00:10:11,429
before anybody else gets hurt.
215
00:10:11,429 --> 00:10:14,052
Oh, now, hold your horses,
hold your horses.
216
00:10:14,054 --> 00:10:15,120
You understand,
217
00:10:15,122 --> 00:10:17,255
I've learned more about Constable Eccles
218
00:10:17,257 --> 00:10:18,323
in the last hour
219
00:10:18,325 --> 00:10:20,191
than we've figured out
in the last two years.
220
00:10:20,193 --> 00:10:21,509
Here's my idea.
221
00:10:21,795 --> 00:10:24,329
We figure out how to get rid
of this Bondsman,
222
00:10:24,331 --> 00:10:26,731
and then we put Bill the Demon
on the starting squad.
223
00:10:26,733 --> 00:10:27,733
Do you love it?
224
00:10:27,735 --> 00:10:29,000
Blow it up.
225
00:10:29,002 --> 00:10:30,869
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
226
00:10:30,871 --> 00:10:31,678
Uh...
227
00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:33,517
Oh...
228
00:10:33,907 --> 00:10:35,741
Yeah, I'm s... I'm sorry, Bill.
229
00:10:35,743 --> 00:10:37,408
I have a town to protect.
230
00:10:38,745 --> 00:10:40,903
No, she... she's right, Stan.
231
00:10:41,482 --> 00:10:42,480
It's... It's the right thing to do.
232
00:10:42,482 --> 00:10:43,548
Okay.
233
00:10:43,550 --> 00:10:45,883
There is one thing I'd like to do first.
234
00:10:45,885 --> 00:10:47,218
Grab another brew?
235
00:10:47,704 --> 00:10:48,853
Second.
236
00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:01,900
- That's a demon joke.
- Yeah, no, I get it.
237
00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:03,768
I don't like it.
238
00:11:03,770 --> 00:11:05,102
Nobody likes it.
239
00:11:05,375 --> 00:11:06,771
I'm a demon.
240
00:11:08,441 --> 00:11:09,711
This is me.
241
00:11:12,946 --> 00:11:14,745
It's a weird thing
to stand over your own grave.
242
00:11:14,747 --> 00:11:16,314
I don't recommend it.
243
00:11:16,316 --> 00:11:18,049
Yeah, actually, we, uh...
244
00:11:18,051 --> 00:11:20,946
We've... been through some stuff.
245
00:11:21,655 --> 00:11:24,062
I lost my wife the winter before I died.
246
00:11:24,657 --> 00:11:25,774
The snows came.
247
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,955
We had no food or firewood.
248
00:11:29,596 --> 00:11:31,362
That's when the bear got her.
249
00:11:31,364 --> 00:11:34,432
I killed it, skinned it,
used its fur for warmth,
250
00:11:34,434 --> 00:11:36,801
and ate like a king
for the rest of the winter.
251
00:11:38,138 --> 00:11:40,004
Thank God for that bear.
252
00:11:41,741 --> 00:11:43,875
It's a shame you haven't figured
out how to open The Passage.
253
00:11:43,877 --> 00:11:45,276
You could free all these people.
254
00:11:45,535 --> 00:11:46,477
The what, now?
255
00:11:46,479 --> 00:11:49,214
The Passage that connects
the land of the living
256
00:11:49,216 --> 00:11:50,581
and the realm of the dead.
257
00:11:50,583 --> 00:11:52,550
There's a spell that'll
reverse the flow of energy
258
00:11:52,552 --> 00:11:53,885
between the two worlds.
259
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:55,820
And what would that do?
260
00:11:55,822 --> 00:11:57,755
Well, basically,
it would take all the souls
261
00:11:57,757 --> 00:12:00,091
that Eccles has imprisoned
and spit them back out,
262
00:12:00,093 --> 00:12:02,160
and then the Bondsman, who's here,
263
00:12:02,162 --> 00:12:04,028
would be sucked back in.
264
00:12:04,417 --> 00:12:05,696
You hear that, Barret?
265
00:12:05,698 --> 00:12:06,509
This...
266
00:12:06,967 --> 00:12:08,366
This could be it.
267
00:12:08,368 --> 00:12:10,167
Stan... No, hear me out.
268
00:12:10,169 --> 00:12:12,036
Eccles is only as strong as his army.
269
00:12:12,038 --> 00:12:13,838
You take away his soldiers,
270
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:16,186
and he's just another jerkoff in a hat.
271
00:12:16,643 --> 00:12:19,493
No Bill the Demon,
do you know this spell?
272
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:20,378
No.
273
00:12:20,380 --> 00:12:22,913
I wouldn't begin to know
where to look for it.
274
00:12:29,389 --> 00:12:31,743
Well, that's an interesting theory,
275
00:12:31,743 --> 00:12:33,457
but I don't see how two dead people
276
00:12:33,459 --> 00:12:35,193
could meet up and go on a date.
277
00:12:35,195 --> 00:12:36,260
Well...
278
00:12:36,262 --> 00:12:38,494
Well, you two kids best get home.
279
00:12:39,199 --> 00:12:41,065
Oh, Kevin, I'm gonna need that blanket.
280
00:12:41,067 --> 00:12:42,300
Can't I keep it?
281
00:12:42,517 --> 00:12:44,266
You got, like, five of them now.
282
00:12:49,309 --> 00:12:51,142
- Keep it.
- Yes!
283
00:13:23,576 --> 00:13:25,076
Say hello to my SmartStick!
284
00:13:25,078 --> 00:13:27,779
SmartStick location... on ground.
285
00:13:27,781 --> 00:13:28,780
Aah.
286
00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:55,206
You better run!
287
00:13:56,876 --> 00:13:59,043
Aaah!
288
00:14:30,109 --> 00:14:31,442
Had enough?
289
00:14:46,125 --> 00:14:46,924
User not recognized.
290
00:14:49,662 --> 00:14:51,663
Aah!
291
00:14:51,665 --> 00:14:52,797
Aah!
292
00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:55,633
There's more where that came from!
293
00:14:56,869 --> 00:14:58,469
User not recognized.
294
00:15:03,012 --> 00:15:05,117
Okay, Leon, well, just stay on him.
295
00:15:06,346 --> 00:15:07,879
Okay, don't stay on him.
296
00:15:07,881 --> 00:15:09,613
We're putting together a plan now.
297
00:15:11,050 --> 00:15:12,458
- Any luck?
- Nothing here.
298
00:15:12,459 --> 00:15:14,619
Oh-ho, hey, guys,
I think this might be it.
299
00:15:14,621 --> 00:15:17,170
"The Decussation of the Passage."
300
00:15:17,624 --> 00:15:19,023
Uh...
301
00:15:19,025 --> 00:15:21,492
So, okay, we go back
to where we're all buried
302
00:15:21,494 --> 00:15:23,142
and chant this spell.
303
00:15:23,496 --> 00:15:26,560
And then, "what is
imprisoned shall be free",
304
00:15:26,561 --> 00:15:28,165
and what is free shall be imprisoned."
305
00:15:28,167 --> 00:15:30,969
In other words, the Bondsman is toast,
306
00:15:30,971 --> 00:15:32,631
and I'm a free man!
307
00:15:33,940 --> 00:15:37,041
And the other trapped souls
will be free, as well?
308
00:15:37,043 --> 00:15:38,610
Well, that...
that's what it says here, so...
309
00:15:38,612 --> 00:15:40,743
so, what... what... what do you think?
310
00:15:41,113 --> 00:15:42,560
Can you give us a sec?
311
00:15:42,915 --> 00:15:44,931
Uh, sure, yeah. No problem.
312
00:15:44,931 --> 00:15:47,670
I... gotta use the little
demon's room, anyway.
313
00:15:52,173 --> 00:15:53,724
Is this too good to be true?
314
00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:54,926
Yeah.
315
00:15:56,129 --> 00:15:58,663
But think about all the stuff
316
00:15:58,665 --> 00:16:01,065
that was too bad to be true, huh?
317
00:16:01,067 --> 00:16:02,199
Huh? Let's... Let's...
318
00:16:02,201 --> 00:16:04,769
Let's not look a gift
horse in the mouth.
319
00:16:04,771 --> 00:16:06,671
Take it from one
who's had a gift horse...
320
00:16:06,673 --> 00:16:08,507
it doesn't always work out great.
321
00:16:08,875 --> 00:16:09,949
I'm done.
322
00:16:10,877 --> 00:16:14,612
I'm... I'm done with
the endless parade of freaks.
323
00:16:15,181 --> 00:16:16,249
Listen to me.
324
00:16:16,749 --> 00:16:18,282
We have an honest-to-God chance
325
00:16:18,284 --> 00:16:20,632
to leave this party early.
326
00:16:21,754 --> 00:16:22,955
And I'm taking it.
327
00:16:30,029 --> 00:16:31,963
This is nice.
328
00:16:31,965 --> 00:16:34,453
We can go see that play some other time.
329
00:16:34,901 --> 00:16:35,731
I just realized,
330
00:16:35,732 --> 00:16:37,650
I think I'm gonna have
to see those kids again
331
00:16:37,651 --> 00:16:38,903
at least one more time.
332
00:16:39,424 --> 00:16:40,571
You think it'll be awkward?
333
00:16:40,573 --> 00:16:41,772
I don't think so.
334
00:16:41,774 --> 00:16:42,907
They seemed nice.
335
00:16:42,909 --> 00:16:44,842
- Mm.
- Mm.
336
00:16:46,913 --> 00:16:47,912
- Hey, guys!
- Aah!
337
00:16:47,914 --> 00:16:49,246
Dad, what are you doing here?
338
00:16:49,248 --> 00:16:50,715
What are you doing here?
339
00:16:50,717 --> 00:16:53,585
Well, it's been a dead
people kind of day.
340
00:16:53,587 --> 00:16:54,919
Heh, that's great.
341
00:16:54,921 --> 00:16:56,520
Listen, I know this is last-minute,
342
00:16:56,522 --> 00:16:58,102
but does either of you have any interest
343
00:16:58,103 --> 00:17:00,090
in being a part of a demonic ritual?
344
00:17:00,156 --> 00:17:02,180
- We need two more for a set.
- Well...
345
00:17:02,181 --> 00:17:02,961
We're kind of in the middle...
346
00:17:02,962 --> 00:17:04,105
Just take a minute.
347
00:17:04,235 --> 00:17:04,831
Okay.
348
00:17:05,212 --> 00:17:06,845
Then this will all be over.
349
00:17:06,846 --> 00:17:08,782
Follow Bill the Demon.
350
00:17:08,783 --> 00:17:10,540
- Okay.
- Come on, sweetheart.
351
00:17:10,541 --> 00:17:11,942
Chop-chop, Kev.
352
00:17:11,943 --> 00:17:13,556
This is so awkward, Dad.
353
00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:22,733
Listen, no matter what happens,
354
00:17:22,734 --> 00:17:23,740
I just want to say
355
00:17:23,741 --> 00:17:25,403
I really enjoyed hanging with you guys,
356
00:17:25,404 --> 00:17:27,240
and I'm glad I didn't kill you.
357
00:17:27,241 --> 00:17:28,802
And I-I-I'd just like to say...
358
00:17:28,803 --> 00:17:30,462
I don't want to get too emotional here,
359
00:17:30,463 --> 00:17:31,725
but, brother, we're all very lucky
360
00:17:31,726 --> 00:17:33,088
that you suck at your job.
361
00:17:33,089 --> 00:17:35,282
- Yow.
- This guy!!
362
00:17:35,283 --> 00:17:37,025
- You!
- You!
363
00:17:37,027 --> 00:17:38,459
- You!
- Oh, no, you!
364
00:17:38,461 --> 00:17:39,728
Come on, now, let's, uh...
365
00:17:39,730 --> 00:17:41,619
Let's bang out some spells and...
366
00:17:41,620 --> 00:17:43,649
and spring us some goddamned souls.
367
00:17:43,650 --> 00:17:46,163
What do you say? How's it go?
368
00:17:46,164 --> 00:17:49,012
Convertant Lucam Lenebre
369
00:17:49,013 --> 00:17:54,809
Viitet Mortuus Est,
370
00:17:54,811 --> 00:17:59,418
Aperis Obscura Haeccun Dei.
371
00:18:04,955 --> 00:18:06,125
Uh...
372
00:18:06,708 --> 00:18:07,806
What's happening?
373
00:18:07,883 --> 00:18:09,665
Why am I floating?
374
00:18:11,861 --> 00:18:12,894
Hey, cabrone.
375
00:18:12,896 --> 00:18:15,477
T-This is part of the show, right?
376
00:18:15,478 --> 00:18:16,988
Okay, confession time.
377
00:18:17,623 --> 00:18:19,592
The spell you just recited is...
378
00:18:19,593 --> 00:18:22,405
Well, basically, you just
condemned yourselves to Hell.
379
00:18:22,406 --> 00:18:24,211
- Bill!
- What?
380
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:30,134
I know. I conned you. I'm sorry.
381
00:18:30,136 --> 00:18:32,236
Actually, I'm not sorry.
382
00:18:32,768 --> 00:18:34,004
Well, I'm sorry I'm not sorry.
383
00:18:34,006 --> 00:18:35,473
Can you be that? I think I'm that.
384
00:18:38,228 --> 00:18:40,277
And The Passage? For the souls?
385
00:18:40,279 --> 00:18:42,279
No such thing! I made it up.
386
00:18:45,618 --> 00:18:47,284
See, Stan? What did I tell you?
387
00:18:47,286 --> 00:18:48,953
I said it's too good to be true!
388
00:18:48,955 --> 00:18:50,554
Oh, no, that's just great.
389
00:18:50,556 --> 00:18:52,357
Kick the guy on his way to Hell.
390
00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:54,158
Real sportsmanlike.
391
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:56,094
This is all your fault, Stan.
392
00:18:56,096 --> 00:18:57,695
Because you are messing
393
00:18:57,697 --> 00:19:00,288
with forces you don't understand.
394
00:19:00,967 --> 00:19:02,366
I always wanted to say that.
395
00:19:02,368 --> 00:19:04,807
And the, uh... the Bondsman,
396
00:19:04,958 --> 00:19:06,170
he was working with you
the whole time, huh?
397
00:19:06,172 --> 00:19:08,305
No! That's the best part...
398
00:19:08,307 --> 00:19:09,706
there is no "Bondsman"!
399
00:19:09,708 --> 00:19:11,242
I made him up, too!
400
00:19:11,244 --> 00:19:13,377
Who's killing all those people?
401
00:19:13,379 --> 00:19:15,246
I don't know! Some nut!
402
00:19:15,248 --> 00:19:16,911
Just a happy coincidence.
403
00:19:16,911 --> 00:19:19,763
Uh, but it made the lie
so much easier to sell.
404
00:19:19,764 --> 00:19:21,051
Just, it kinda wrote itself!
405
00:19:22,588 --> 00:19:24,255
And now it's time for you to go.
406
00:19:25,625 --> 00:19:32,396
Aragoth, norgoth, zorgoth...
407
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:36,600
Ah-gah-gah-gah-gah! Gah-gah-gah-gah-gah!
408
00:19:38,070 --> 00:19:39,203
Ohh!
409
00:19:41,540 --> 00:19:42,573
Aah!
410
00:19:48,703 --> 00:19:49,813
Who are you?
411
00:19:50,256 --> 00:19:51,649
I'm the Collector of Souls.
412
00:19:51,651 --> 00:19:52,683
Who are you, really?
413
00:19:53,584 --> 00:19:54,884
I'm Billy Ray Tugmeyer.
414
00:19:54,885 --> 00:19:56,319
I'm an escaped lunatic.
415
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,743
- You saved us.
- I did?
416
00:19:58,744 --> 00:20:00,963
Yeah. This guy was about
to send us to Hell.
417
00:20:00,964 --> 00:20:03,170
Oh. That's nice.
418
00:20:03,771 --> 00:20:04,603
Anyway...
419
00:20:12,321 --> 00:20:13,670
Freeze!
420
00:20:16,773 --> 00:20:17,972
That's him!
421
00:20:18,363 --> 00:20:19,374
Good timing.
422
00:20:19,376 --> 00:20:21,031
I got this.
423
00:20:28,184 --> 00:20:29,651
Broken femur.
424
00:20:29,653 --> 00:20:30,566
Okay.
425
00:20:31,654 --> 00:20:34,122
Leon, I think we're... good. We're good.
426
00:20:34,124 --> 00:20:35,257
Uh...
427
00:20:35,259 --> 00:20:37,019
- Broken sacrum.
- Hey, Stan.
428
00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:39,795
What'd this one mean about, uh,
429
00:20:39,797 --> 00:20:41,996
you "messing with powers
you don't understand"?
430
00:20:43,193 --> 00:20:44,866
Come on. You know these demons.
431
00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:47,602
Diarrhea of the mouth,
constipation of the brain.
432
00:20:48,687 --> 00:20:49,669
Let's go home.
433
00:20:50,273 --> 00:20:52,024
Eh, okay.
434
00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:56,612
Congratulations. 11 calories burned.
435
00:21:03,030 --> 00:21:05,592
I've had about enough of this thing.
436
00:21:12,696 --> 00:21:15,831
SmartStick location... alone.
437
00:21:19,436 --> 00:21:20,869
Leon?
438
00:21:22,706 --> 00:21:23,974
Come back.
439
00:21:26,376 --> 00:21:27,790
I'm afraid, Leon.
440
00:21:30,151 --> 00:21:31,349
Leon?
29208
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