All language subtitles for My Favorite Five 2015 DVDRip XviD AC3 - FWOLF

FASTERWOLF

- You are-- God
you are beautiful.

- 00h, you so fine.

I don't normally
do this.

- Oh, shh.

Don't talk.

Just let the passion
do what it do, baby.

- Give me your money!

~ 0h!
~ 0h!

- Come on.
- Oh!

- Come on!
- Okay, he's got a gun.

He's got a gun, here, take it,
take-- take all 0f it.

Here, here, take this.

- Unh-unh! What are you doing?

- Hurry up! Come on!
- Get off!

- What are you doing?!
- Hurry up! Ow!

Just give it to--

- Hey, hey, are you crazy?!
- Come on!

- Hey!
- Stop hitting him, he's gonna kill us.

These are
a $2,000 pair 0f shoes!

- Oh! Are you crazy?!

- Show me the gun.
- N0!

- What?

- Show me the gun.
- N0.

If I take it out,
I'm gonna use it.

- You want me to use it?!
- Yes.

- N0, please, don't use it.
- I want you to use it.

- Don't make me use it.
- N0.

I want you to use it.

- N0, please, don't use it.

- I am going to use it!

- Use it on her!

'What?!

Oh! I am calling the police.

- Oh, 0h, wait!

- I would like to report a fool in the alley
trying to rob people with his finger.

- Yeah.

Yeah, you better run, mother.

You better run!

That was close, man.

I thought he was
gonna kill us.

- Oh.

Hey, where
are you going?

Thought we were going
back to my place.

If

- Hello, Sybil,
hi, Rebecca.

Morning.

- Look, she keeps
stealing our accounts.

- Yeah, I know.

And look,
here she comes now.

It's time to address it.

- Hi, Shelly.

- Good morning, Miss Colbum.

Uh, your messages
are on your desk,

and, uh,
National Car Rental called.

You left a small package
in the rental,

so I'll have someone
pick it up and overnight it.

- Thank you, Shelly.
- Mm-hmm.

Send them my gratitude.

Oh, and, uh, set up
my trip for Atlanta next week.

. OKW-
. OKW-

Good morning,
Rebecca.

- Oh, good
morning, Hailey.

How nice 0f you
to join us.

It's not when you
start, it's how you finish.

- And how are you,
Miss Sybil?

- Amazing, as usual.

- Uh, excuse me.
- Yes, Barry?

- Yeah, what happened
with Milton's greeting cards?

- You know what happened,
we collected his money.

- But that was my account.

- That was never
your account.

- Well, it
was my account,

till you and your little Charlie's
devils stepped over there

in your little mini
skirts and halter tops, right?

- I don't wear halter tops.

And don't blame me if
you don't know how to close.

- Uh, speaking 0f closing,
where's your dad?

- I don't know, just go
find him someplace, ass kisser.

I will.

Right back at you.

. Yes?

Hailey, I'd like to see you
in my office for a moment, please.

- On my WflY-

- S0, baby, how was Chicago?
- Mmm.

Chicago... was rewarding.

- Is this what I think it is?
- Mm-hmm.

Really?

Girl, how did you
ever get him to--

- Daddy, you know
you don't want to know.

Yeah.

Jethro Williams.

That man is notorious
for not paying his suppliers.

Wow, we can probably pick up at least
ten other vendors from this deal.

- I know.

- You know,
you are amazing.

- I may be.

But the truth is, men
are predictable.

Play to their egos,
and you win every time.

- Ehh...

Listen, with
that in mind, though,

I've just set up a meeting
with HQ Distributors.

If we can recover for them,

hell, we can take
the next six months off.

- 00h, I like the sound 0f that,
who's the mark?

- His name is
Christopher Michaels.

He's a CEO 0f a new video game
company.

- I make this one, everybody
gets an extra Christmas bonus.

Here we go.

Came out
with that shooter game last year

that everybody went
so crazy for.

Then the market turned
and his sales plummeted

and he had to stop
production,

leaving his
suppliers holding their chain.

- Promises.

Now, on the other side,

he just got an infusion 0f cash
from Dakota Kimball,

queen bitch 0f Wall Street.

Seems that she was
a friend 0f his late mom.

- Wow, she inherited the--

the largest exchange in Wall Street
when her husband died.

- Correctamundo.

Now, a little bit
on the upldown side.

We know he has the money,
but he still hasn't paid,

so we have to convince
HQ that we can recover for them.

- N0 problem.
- You think?

Won't be easy.

He owes them over
five million,

but he needs at least that much
to bring his new game to market.

- Daddy, if you knew half as much
as I know about men,

you'd know this money
was practically in the bank.

- You bad.

- S0, they have 17 locations
that we need to close.

All right, let's get started.

- Oh, so, what
happened last night?

- Ooh.

- You don't want
to know.

- Yes, we do, spill it.

I mean,
he was beautiful.

- Oh, he looked like
a big feral lion.

- Yeah, he may have
looked as strong as a lion,

but he had the heart 0f
a little baby rabbit.

- What?

- I just don't understand.

If I date a good-looking guy,
he's a dog.

If I date an
average guy, he's lame.

If I date a romantic guy,
he's--

- He's a punk.

- Maybe you want too much.
- N0! Not possible.

I just want everything I bring to
the table, what's wrong with that?

- Sarcasm and nymphomania?

- Oh! Rebecca!

- I will get on you later.

I'm about to have lunch
with my brother.

- Oh, he is so cute.

Tell him hi.

If

- You know, usually when
you share a meal with someone,

you engage them in
conversation.

- Oh, my bad, sis.

I'm just
updating the grid.

You seem kind 0f down.

- Why is your species
so dysfunctional?

- You mean
the male gender?

- Yes.

N0, see...

men are very simple.

Feed us, freak us,
and need us.

You the complicated ones.

- I just want one man, just one.

But whenever I find a guy
that's great in one area,

he sucks in all the others.

- You see,
that's your problem.

You can't find everything
you need in one person.

- Why not?

- That's like... needing
the capacity 0f a minivan

but wanting the sexiness
0f a convertible.

- Well, I refuse to compromise.

- You what?
You shouldn't, I don't.

Welcome to the grid.

- What is this?

Sex, attraction--

- N0, aren't
they the same thing?

- N0, your best sex may
be with somebody

you need to put
a bag over their head.

- Then why have sex
with them?

- Clearly, you
are not a man.

Here.

- What is this?

- It's my new audio book,
"My Favorite Five."

I'm working on
the female version next.

- Really, "My Favorite Five"?
- Yeah.

- You're crazy,
you know that, right?

- N0, am l-- am I crazy?

Okay, why did every primitive society
have multiple partners?

How can one person
be good at everything?

Hailey, you're literally trying
to find perfection

or only settle for
a couple 0f your needs being met.

Yeah, unh-unh.

But I'm the crazy one,
right?

Ew.

L gotta go-

- You're not
gonna pay for lunch?

- N0, I owe you.

Just like a man.

If

As homo sapiens,

W9 WEN? HEVQ!' Meant lo b9
ITIOHOQBITIOLIS.

Living in that
abhorrently dysfunctional state

only keeps us miserable
and underachieved.

After having
your sexual needs met,

and you need to be
with someone

who simply makes you drool,

next you must find someone
to meet that spiritual need.

This would be your soul mate.

Not sex mate,
that's someone else.

Soul mate.

Hello, ladies.

What can I get
for you tonight?

- Oh, let's see.

Tonight, I have Peter.

Um, I'll have the, uh,
rosemary chicken, please.

- Great, for you?

- I'll have the Thai
pasta salad.

Thai pasta.

- All right, it's
coming right up.

Thanks.

- Who is Peter?

And why does he determine
what you'll have for lunch?

- I call him
the back breaker.

I'm gonna need all
my strength.

- Oh, you're ridiculous!

- Don't hate me

because you are desperate
and I am pleasantly scandalous.

I can teach you.

- Mm, I just
got Eric fixed.

I'll just end up breaking
him all over again.

Besides, that karma
you're playing with is a bitch.

- N0, I don't believe
in karma,

and I don't believe in being
constrained by social hypocrisy.

- N0, you believe in
being a ho.

- Socially, it is fine

for a man to have
more than one woman,

but 100 years ago, it was
perfectly normal

for women to
date multiple suitors.

- Really?
Let's see.

You have to check
your calendar

just to see who
you're screwing tonight.

Oh, yeah, that's real normal.

- Well, being with one
man isn't normal.

It's like wearing
the same dress for 20 years.

- Everyone was created
for someone else.

- Oh, really?

Okay, so then
why are there so many

miserable married people
in the world?

- That doesn't mean--
- Women simply don't realize

that they can never be satisfied
with just one man.

- Here we go.

- N0, I don't even give
a man my cell phone number.

N0, that is too much access.

He can call me at the office
or my home or email me.

He is not gonna
have me on a leash.

- You just don't want
to commit,

and these men are
too stupid to realize it.

You're an anti-monogamist.

- I am not anti anything.

I just know that you
cannot change the nature 0f a man,

and when an opposing force
won't change, you adapt,

and I have found perfection.

- You found polyandry.

- Every woman
needs five things,

five perfect man things.

And most women
settle for one or two.

I want it all,

and because it is impossible to find
a man with all 0f them,

I have found five,
one man for each.

- That is so silly.

- It is brilliant and
the only logical solution.

- N0, no, no, no, no.

- Every woman
has the same dilemma,

trying to tum a man into
something he's not.

. OKW-

Tell me why you just have to
have five men at onetime,

besides the obvious
self-serving reasons.

- Five, no more,
no less.

It is so simple, really.

Every woman
needs a bad boy.

That's where T.l.
comes in.

It's not just because they
want to go against the grain.

It is because you know no one
is gonna mess with him.

00h,
that's my song!

Man, I just want
to do your homework.

What's your name, huh?

Been watching you,
girl, all night.

Ooh.

Can I get
your name?

What's up, man?

You can't beat having your
own personal body guard.

He's not just a pack 0f meat.

He is always there
when you need him.

Thank you, T.l.

- You're welcome.

I'm gonna just stick around
here just in case y'all need me.

Just... let me get over here.

Just-- 0h, okay.

- Hey, muscle
is not enough.

Eventually, you're gonna
have to talk to him.

- The hell I do.

Pshh, I don't even have
to sleep with him.

He is enamored
just by being with me.

Mmm.

And 0f course,
there's romance.

Oh, every woman
needs romance.

A man who is so
smooth, so sugary sweet,

every phone call leaves
your face sticky, mm!

Look, this is what
James sent me this morning.

- "L am but a fish caught
in your net,

"longing not for the release,
but to be devoured by your grace.

"While I bum over the fire,
yes, but I say let it bum.

You are more than
worthy 0f the pain."

Oh, this is really sad.

- Please, don't hate.

- Why are you
playing with this man?

- I am not playing with him.

It is a mutually-beneficial
arrangement.

James has a need to
be romantic, it's in his DNA.

Most women would question
his manhood,

but I am evolved enough
to appreciate his softer side.

- Yeah, that's only because

somebody else is banging
your head against the headboard.

- Shh, keep it down!

What?

- Not like you're ashamed.
- N0, but discretion is the key.

- What about the other three?

. OKW-

Then there's intellect... mmm.

The pillar 0f
social accomplishment

and the mental stimuli to hash out
political rhetoric.

- It's a ridiculous notion, really.

I mean, their failure
to gain bipartisanship

will ultimately lead to an
independent nation.

- How can you say that?

Republicans and Democrats
have to eventually agree

on the foremost issues
to maintain government.

- Hailey, it's never happened
and it never will.

Antidisestablishmentarianism
will never die.

Disproportionableness,
incomprehensibility...

It's absurd.

- Damn, you're sexy.

Then there's provision,
the money man.

Now, he
doesn't have to be rich.

Just well-off enough to
meet your needs.

- You make great money.

- That doesn't
mean I want to spend it.

- Wow, you look absolutely
stunning this evening.

- Thank you.

- You're gonna be the most beautiful
woman at the opera by far.

- Hmm.

Oh, 0h, wait,
I think I lost an earring.

- Why not wear these?

- Really?
They're beautiful.

- They're trinkets.

We're just getting
started.

I was thinking,
after the opera,

we could helicopter over to
Catalina for the weekend.

- Uh, but l-l
didn't pack anything.

- Oh, I took the liberty 0f having
Hailey's personal assistant,

uh, do a little shopping run.

The bags are
in the car.

- That is so sweet.

- Hmm.

- But next time, I would
really like to do my own shopping.

- Oh, yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

- One minute.

- Worthington.
- Yes, sir.

- Fuel up the jet.

We're going shopping.

Paris.

- Right away, sir.

- You look beautiful.

If

Oh, right, then
the best one 0f all, seduction.

That would be Peter.

Finally, the
wonder horse 0f the bunch.

- Are you kidding?

Oh, this man is a master

akin to the greatest magicians
spread throughout history.

This man,
you have met before.

- I don't think so.

- Think about the last time

you did something you never
thought you would.

- N0!
- Yes, that man.

- Oh, 00h, I'm late,
I gotta go.

I'll have to finish
this education a little later.

- Okay, just remember one thing.

Compromise begins and ends
in disappointment.

Ciao.

Oh.

Oh.

Wow, whoo.

- Oh.

- That was...
better than "Hip-Hop Abs."

- Oh.

- Am I...

Am I glowing?

Am I glowing?

- Damn, yes.

- This time, I wrote my
name on there.

Whoo!

- I see you.

I see it, I see it.

- Mm-mm.
- Ah.

Phew.

Oh.

Mm-hmm.

- Everything OKaY?

- Everythingfs perfect.

- Shouldn't you
be getting ready for work?

I took the night off.

- Oh.
- Mm-hmm.

- That's nice.

Lam so, so exhausted.

- I have so much work
to do tomorrow.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

S0... I've been thinking.

- Hmm.

About what?

- You.

WhY "Of you?

- Why not me what?

- Why not... you?

I think this is the right thing
to do, I didn't-- 0h!

Okay!

- Are you out 0f
your freakin' mind?!

- Okay, here's the--
- Get out!

- But I thought that--

- You thought what,
that this was wh-wh-what?

Little house on the freaking prairie?!

- Ow, okay, okay now,
look, okay?

- Oh, my-- D0 you
know what you've done?

- Yeah, I've--
- Oh!

- D0 you know
what you've done?

- Uh, yeah, I've, I've gotten
my nose broken.

- D0 you know
how much work it takes

to fill a spot with
the right guy?!

- Ow, I don't know
about any spots, so...

- You knew what this was.
- Yes, no.

- And you had to go and get some
grand idea 0f affection off Shakespeare!

- Ow! Ow!

L-l don't really read
Shakespeare.

- I thought we had
something special!

- Uh, 0w!
- Get out!

- Get, get, get out!
- All right, all right, I'm out, I'm out.

Oh, I just don't understand.

You don't understand
a man falling in love with you?

- Well, it's not that,
he's not that guy, you know?

He's seduction, a booty call,
the sheet master,

what the hell.

- "The sheet master"?

- Whatever.

- Look, you know,
what do you expect?

Things don't just stay
in a tidy, little box.

- Oh, well, they should.

You know, he should
be grateful.

It's what ever man wants,
sex without complications.

- Apparently, that's not what
every man wants.

And then there were four.

- Actually, three.

- I had to let
my money guy go.

- Why?

- He filed bankruptcy.
- Oh, damn, you're sick.

- Mr. Wu, thank you
for your patience.

- Mr. Wu, your company
will most certainly benefit

from an ongoing partnership
with our firm.

We can handle all
0f your recovery needs,

from simple account reconciliation
to litigation.

- Hmm.

- Mr. Wu is intrigued.
- That's wonderful.

- Mr. Wu would like these issues
to be resolved in-house,

without costly litigations.

- We always try
to avoid litigation.

However, as a last resort,

my father is a well-respected
civil attorney.

We are offering you,
essentially, a one-stop shop

for your recovery needs.

- Hmm.

- Mr. Wu is a bit concerned
with your methodology.

He has heard some
very disconcerting rumors.

- Let me assure Mr. Wu that
my daughter is not--

- Why don't we just
quit the charade, Mr. Wu?

Your business has over $30 million
outstanding from your clients.

You need your money,
which means you need my services.

Not only do you need
my services...

you want
my services, don't you?

If

- Hire her.

- Shelly will
bring in the paperwork.

- I don't need much, all right?
- I know.

- Can I talk to
you for a moment?

- And I promise every
moment we share...

- Now.

- I'll call you
right back, James.

What's going on?

- Hailey, you have got
to stop this.

- What do you mean?
- You know what I mean.

This is not a game,
sweetheart.

- Sure, it is, it
is always a game.

- You know, Barry came to me
earlier, complaining to me

about you
stealing his accounts.

- Dad, I have landed and
closed more accounts

in this office than anybody
else combined, including you.

That is why you made
me partner.

And Barry couldn't
close an account if--

- Honey, baby, being good at
doing the wrong thing

does not make
it the right thing.

- Did we get the account?

- Yes, we got the account,
but at what cost?

- T0 everything great in
life there is a cost, isn't there?

- S0 now you think quoting me
makes your behavior okay.

- Smile, Daddy, it's a good day.

Mwah.

Now, is this
the dossier?

- Yeah, it's all there.

Copy 0f his passport,
credit-card statements,

Dun's reports, et cetera,
et cetera, et cetera.

You know,
Christopher is drowning in debt.

And, sweetheart, there is a very
clear and distinct line here.

D0 not cross it.

- Watch me do what I do.

- I'm not sure that's
something a father should see.

Hmm.

To summer,
then rain...

is the greatest
achievement this life can bring.

So let me suffer so I may
rain deep inside of you

until you are
glazed with my affection.

Hailey, baby, let me
know where you're gonna be tonight

and I'll come check
on you, it's T.I.

Hailey, Matthew.

Gingrich is announcing
his candidacy on CNN tonight.

It's gonna be absurd,
of course.

Hey, uh, one second.

- Excuse me, can I have
another martini?

- Hey, baby-

I want to drink
your bath water.

- Ugh! You know--

- What are you doing here?

- Closing my five.

- What happened
to your old number five?

- Look, by now,
you should know

that your five is in a constant
state 0f change, all right?

In chapter eight, I explain,
"You got to be like water, right?"

You got to just flow with
the energy 0f your five.

- Okay, look, I am working
right now, so I need you to go.

- Working?

Oh. Oh-oh,
okay, that's you?

- Yes, so please leave.

- Okay, okay. Okay. Ugh-

You know what? I was just
coming to check on my big sister,

but not no more, all right?

- Be nice to him.

- Bye.
- Bye.

I'll call you back,
love you too, mwah.

Little kiss,
you just jealous, uh-huh.

You ain't got to
be jealous.

G0 and play your game, fi--

Oh, God, what has happened
while I was on the phone?

Look what God did
donated to the men on earth.

Look at that, look at that.

- Come on, Sans,
come on, man.

- Damn!
- Sans! Hey, hey...

- Excuse me, drooling.

- Playboy.
- What?

- Come on, man,
you promised, man.

It's not about the girls
tonight.

It's about the fellas,
all right, pool, business.

- I know what I said, okay?

'Cause I was there when I said
it, all right, brother?

But sometimes,
you get dick-stracted,

and right now, little Sans
is like,

"What you doing,
what you doing?"

Excuse me, drooling.

- Hmm.

If

Hey, hey, hey,
okay, I cannot stay long.

Why do you have me dressed
in this hideous thing?

. SeXy-

- Come on, man,
not tonight, damn.

You know what, man?

You a selfish bastard.

That's what you are.

- Let me
ask you a question.

What's Miss Roxanne
gonna say

about all these
dick-stractions, huh?

She gonna hurt
your ass, man.

She gonna hurt your ass.

You're gonna end up 0n my couch
another six weeks.

- Look, there's nothing
wrong with, uh, sniffing a...

titillating smell 0f
a fresh rose, brother.

- I don't know, man.

That, uh, that miniskirt's looking like
it's smelling kind 0f funky to me.

- How do you know
that's the one I'm talking about?

You don't know-- you don't know
which one I'm talking--

I might be talking
about the other one.

I like my women conservative
sometimes, brother.

- Conservative?
- Yeah!

I do like a conserve
every now and then.

Okay, no, I'm not
talking about her at all,

but the other one is fine, though,
ain't she bad, damn?

- Sans, I'm on hiatus, all right?

I'm taking a break.

- Oh, you're done
looking for the one?

- I didn't say all that, I didn't
say I'm done.

I said I'm taking a little break.

- Okay, you keep
taking a break from the game,

one day, the coach gonna say,
"G0 ahead and play."

You're gonna get in.

Gonna miss an open lay-up.

Ooh! Just like that.

Oh, damn!

- Hailey, where
are your breasts?

- They're in here, he likes his
women conservative.

- Who?
- Christopher Michaels.

Behind us, 6:00, playing pool.

Mm! Don't
look over there.

- Who is Christopher Michaels?

- He's the mark.

- Okay, who's he with?

- Yeah, I'm not
sure, he's not in the file,

but I've seen him a
couple 0f times.

That is why you're here.

- What?
Girl, you did not!

L--- I'm not-- no, I'm
out 0f here.

- Girl, you said you wanted
to see how it's done.

- You know what, man?

Don't you worry about me,
I'm gonna be fine.

- Yeah, I ain't saying
you wasn't gonna be fine.

I'm telling you you
make a decision

where you should find
a woman, and you never know.

Anywhere you can
find the one.

- Ooh.
- Sans, I'm a realist, okay?

I'm not one 0f those guys
like yourself that thinks

I'm gonna come to some
bar and meet my future wife

eating SO-cent wings and watching
some damn game.

- Oh, yes, you
just want to tell everybody

where I met my wife at?

Huh?
You--

We was walking past
The Nasty Rhino.

You pulled
me in there, okay?

And she wasn't
dancing at all.

Yeah, she was practicing,

but she wasn't
damn dancing, okay?

- You play too much, man.

Look I'm just
saying not for me.

I'm not meeting my wife in a bar,
so I'm must focused on pool.

- You prejudiced.
- I...

- I never thought I'd say it, man.
- How d0--

- You're prejudiced.

What would Martin
think right now?

You think he would
march for this bullshit?

- Listen, man, why don't you use all
that energy and all that mouth

to focus on how you
are gonna talk your way

back into Roxanne's
panties again, huh?

- Hold up.

Guess what I'm doing
right now.

- Uh, not playing pool.

- Ignoring you
in my business.

Mm-hmm.

Stay out 0f
my damn business.

That's is what you
need to do.

And open your eyes.

Have you looked over
there at all?

- I'm good.

- That woman over there's been staring
at you for the last five minutes, brother.

You can't take that as a hint?

Like in a music video
where you the lead damn singer.

But you can't see that,
can't you?

Hell, no, you can't.

S0 if you ain't gonna do it
for yourself, brother, selfish ass,

do it for me and all
0f mankind.

That woman been flirting with
you, looking at you, staring at you.

- S0... watch and learn.

- That woman has done everything
except walk over--

Here she come, here she
comes, she walking over here.

Yeah, whoo!

- Well, hello there.
- Hi, I'm Chris.

- I'm Hailey,
how are you?

- Sans.

- I normally don't do this...
- Mm-hmm.

- But my friend over there

says she really likes
your style.

- Over there?

- She says she really likes
the way you handle your balls.

The ones on the table.

Oh, right.

'Cause what else
would she be talking about?

Ain't like I was walking around... out,
you know what I'm saying?

- D0 you mind if I bring her
over hereto, to maybe watch?

- Well, well, actually, uh, you know,
we were just hanging out,

just the fellas, so...

- Yeah, we was
hanging out just the fellas,

but now that you done made
that beautiful invite,

I say you go get
her and bring her over here

so she can talk to us, and I can
teach her something maybe.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Thank you.

I'm about to fight you right now--
I'm about you fight you right now.

- I'm will beat you...
- Um, just... one second.

- She said, "l usually don't do this," who
the-- we know what that mean.

- N0, dawg.
- I know what that mean!

- We just had this
conversation.

- Yeah, we did, but
I don't be listening to you.

Yes.

- If you don't get
your ass over here...

- I'm not going over there.

- Yes, you will.

You are the devil
to my angel,

the slut to my good girl.

And I need you to
keep his friend occupied.

- You're crazy.

I only get down like
that for my man.

- What?
You don't have a man.

- Well, still.

- If you don't get over
there right now

I'll tell your father about
your lesbian porn collection.

- Hailey, I should tear
your little-- you...

- Okay, fine.

I will give you $500
for the next 30 minutes.

- All right, let's do this.

- I'm about finished, too,
I'm excited about life itself, brother.

Just follow my lead.

Mm-hmm, watch that, okay,
be quiet, brother.

Hey.

- Hi, I'm Sybil.

- Hi, this is Sans.

- Hi, Sans, I'm Sybil.

- S0, uh, what brings you
ladies out tonight?

- I don't know, we're
just bored and vulnerable.

- Unh-unh, wipe that smile off your face,
we're not that vulnerable.

- Speak for yourself.

I'm feeling
kind 0f funny.

- Funny?

- Yeah, you know,
like you're missing something

but you just don't know what
it is you're missing.

- Hmm.

But I bet you'll know
when you find it, huh?

- I bet you I would, too.

- S0, what brings
you out?

- Uh, well,
actually, we were just, uh,

trying to blow off some steam
after a tough work week.

- Oh, 0h, really,
what do you do?

- I make video games.

Uh, you might have seen our
logo, Gyrate Media?

Wow.

- I'm just--
no pun intended.

- Well, I mean, that's
very interesting.

With the holidays
coming up, business must be great.

- Actually, uh, you know,
we had a tough year.

Things are turning around.

- Hmm.

- You know what, Sans and
I actually grew up as kids in Seattle.

If you believe it, he, uh--
he used to save me

from the local
ass-kickers when we were little kids.

- You don't mind if I touch on
those muscles, do you?

- I don't mind, that's what
they there for, baby, touch away.

Just don't break your
hands on that.

- It's really
great that you guys are

still friends all this time.

- Oh, this fool isn't just my friend,
he's my business partner.

- I am his-- shh...
silent partner, all right?

Chris was always the geek
with the plan.

I just invested
in the vision, that--

That boy does it all right there.

- Mm-hmm.

- Oh, 0h, so you're,
like a capitalist.

I like that.

Bet you know
how to treat a woman.

- Oh, yes, as a matter
0f fact, I do.

S0, you ladies up to learn how to
play some pool or what?

- 00h, I've been
trying to play pool all night.

- You gonna teach us?
- I sure will.

- Okay, show us
what you're working with.

- It's pretty easy.

What you want to do is glide
the stick slowly,

gently through your hands.

You know what
I mean?

- 00h, can
I borrow your stick?

- Of course you can.
- Okay.

- Oh, you've played
before, huh?

- Yeah.

Like this?

- Yeah, a lot like--
like that, that could be cool

- Or, like, like, I don't know.

- That's a good-- that, right,
that-- right there's straight, too.

- A little lower?
- N0 lower.

. OKW-

ls this how
you do it, Sans?

Ahh, is this right?

- L, I don't, it feels--
feels right, looks right.

- Ahh.
- N0, right.

Could you not be so...?

Oh.

- He-- he left?

. YEP-

- l'm going.

Nice meeting you,
Christopher.

- Uh, okay, uh...

- Well, I guess it's just us.

- You know what, it's, it's getting late,
uh, and I should probably head out, too.

- Really, wow, that's a first.

- N0, no, I don't, I don't-- I definitely
don't mean anything personal by that.

I actually, uh, have a long
day tomorrow.

. OKW-

Well, it was
nice meeting you.

- It was nice to meet you, too.

- Good night.

Hmm.

- Like this?
- All right.

We're gonna do this again.
- All right.

- All right, feet wide apart.
- Yep.

- All right,
grab the racket.

- Uh, racket.

- Just choke down
on the racket.

- Choke down
on the racket.

- You ready?
- Yeah.

- All right,
let's give it a shot.

- Okay, here we go, here we go,
here we go, here we go.

- Ready? G0.

'Ooh!

- All right, not bad,
not bad.

Let's do one more,
let's do one more.

- This is not easy.
- It's not.

You got this,
you got this.

- N0 laughing from
the peanut gallery, here we go.

- Wah! Ahh! Yes, yes, yes, yes.
- There you go, perfect, nice work.

- You know what, I don't know why
your father let's you behave this way.

- Behave what way?

- Like some ass for sale.

'Ohh!
_

- I mean it.

You know what, I think more women
should use the power 0f the vajayjay.

- Thank you, Jonathan.
- Um-hmm.

Oh...

Now you listen to him?

- Yeah, you know, I was kind 0f
skeptical at first but, um...

She's seen the light.

- That little, silly audiobook
0f his makes a lost 0f sense.

- "My Favorite Five"?

- Hey, hey,
50,000 downloads so far.

- S0 what are you gonna do when
you get married, huh?

You gonna marry five men?

- I'm not getting married.

- What do you mean
you're not getting married?

- Why should I get married and tie
down all 0f this goodness?

- Why should
you, indeed, sister?

Ma, you know marriage
is an antiquated,

simple-minded
notion for needy people.

- You know what?

God made women specifically to
belong to a man-- one man.

- Solomon
had many concubines.

- You know, men were also circumcised
with sharp stones.

You sure you want
to long for those good old days?

- I just don't think there's
a man out there for me.

- Then honey, why
do you always keep dating?

- I date for pleasure.

- Hey, there's nothing
wrong with that, I like that.

- Ew, ew, yes, there is.

Now, Hailey, I did not raise
you to be, you know,

shuffling your goodies
from one man to the next.

- N0, you raised me to be strong
and independent.

. Yes!

But being independent does
not mean being devoid 0f morality.

- Well, whose moral compass
should I be following?

Yours? Dad's? Society's?

- Jesus's?

Ohh!

- Oh, my“

This is not baseball.

- Hey, a hit is a hit,
ask Serena.

- Shush.

Look, every decision
you make now will matter later.

Now, Bill, can we please try this
again because I have...

- Absolutely
- Gotta get my sexy back.

- All right, ready?

Here.

Put those over there.

You don't
have a choice, Chris.

- Sans, we always have a choice,
okay, and I'm making it.

We're choosing
to do the right thing.

12:00.

Everybody grab some food,
lunchtime!

Now let's change
the subject, man.

How are you just gonna bail 0n
me like that last night?

- What, I didn't bail,
You gave me the signal.

You said, "Get out of--"
I saw your signal.

- Man, that was foul.

That's crazy, man, we've been
friends since we was 10 years old,

and you was gonna roll out
on me like that?

- Yeah, what about
the time when you...

- When I what?

- It was me, you, the time you--
you did something.

You know you did something.

- I don't even know
what you're trying to say, man.

What's wrong with you?
You ain't got nothing to say?

This-- this is a first.

- I've been-- I've been
lying to you.

- About what?

- Me and Roxanne,
we're not just separated.

I filed for divorce.

- Divorce?

What-- what-- when?

- A few months back, it--
it's embarrassing.

I didn't even
tell my mama.

You know I tell my mama
everything.

- Why?

- Nothing, it was just-- we broke up,
things got crazy, you know what I mean?

We got divorced,
people get divorced.

She kept on eating all my cereal,

and then she'd mess with
the remote and she cheated.

And she drove my car and took all
the gas, who does that?

- Whoa, whoa, whoa...

Back up.

You said she used
the remote, and then what?

- After the remote, then
she cheated.

- A player got played.

- "A player got played"?

That-that-that-that that's
your Dr. Phil moment right there?

"The player got played?"

It should have been Debbie
the whole time, I told you, I love Debbie.

Remember, I used to call
her "Little Debbie."

We ate the little Debbie snacks.

Yeah, Debbie had
four different baby daddies.

- And you cheated
on Debbie.

- Look, this
was not my girl, man.

And it's not about me, anyway.

- What's it about, then?

- It's about you 'cause you
live in two extremes.

It's one thing or
the other with you, man.

You need to find some--
some middle ground.

Last year, you're, "l need to be engaged,
lfound my soul mate in Sandra."

You bought her
two engagement rings.

"The love is gonna last
two lifetimes."

Remember all that?
And this year, you a damn monk.

- I don't need to worry
about women, okay?

Women-- they're not
vulnerable anymore, okay?

They're not honest.

All right, man?

They're just full
0f games.

I ain't got
time for games.

- I remember when girls
were honest.

You mean back
when Eve bit the apple?

Women ain't never
been honest, man.

And, Chris,
everybody plays the game.

- Yeah, well, I'm done
with games, man.

I don't
play them no more.

- Everybody plays
the game, Chris.

- Oh, 0h, my gosh, I am so
sorry, am I interrupting something?

- What the hell?

- Yeah, yeah, I know.

What-what-what
are you doing here?

- Well, I was just in the area and
thought I would... drop by.

- You was just visiting
another, um, neighboring warehouse?

- Wait, wait, how, how did you
know where we worked?

I mean, how do
you know my last name?

- Gyrate Media,
I Googled you.

- She Googled you, that's
not scary at all.

- Well, anyway,
I was just wondering

if maybe you wanted to
get some lunch.

- Well, actually, uh,
Sans and l-- we have lunch plans.

- We have to discuss a couple things.
- Oh.

- N0, actually, I'm cool.

We just discussed all
the business we need to right now.

'Cause I got things to chase, right?
Hmm?

D0 you know
what a signal is?

You ever see somebody
give a signal?

'Cause you ever see
somebody give a signal like...

D0 you like monk food?

- I don't know
what that is.

- He'll tell you.
- Oh.

- S0?
- Lunch?

- Why don't
I take you to lunch?

Oh.

If

Are you sure you're not gonna
have anything?

- Oh, no, no,
please, go ahead, I...

I never eat lunch.

- Really?

- Really, l, uh--
thank you.

I just need time
to take the mental break.

- Hmm.

- S0, what do
you do professionally?

- Uh, I work for an
accounting firm.

- Really, which one?

- Oh, it's just
a-a small firm.

- Oh, I'll definitely have to
keep you in mind.

I'm looking to move
some things around financially.

- Oh, I'm sure I
can help.

S0, seeing anyone?

The dreaded question.

Isn't it, uh, a little late
to be asking that?

- N0, not at all.

We're still above line.

- Uh, what do you mean?

- Lunch, not dinner,
iced tea, not wine.

- Aha, I see.

N0.

N0, I'm definitely not
seeing anyone right now.

- That's a big cliché.

- What do you mean?

- Oh, I mean,
a handsome guy,

polite, respectful, playing
hard to get.

- Oh, you-
you think I'm playing?

- It's the oldest game
in the book, yes.

- No-no,
no-no, no, no games.

You-- you definitely
got me all wrong.

"Don

- Yes.
- Hmm.

- Hailey, I'm just, um...

I'm waiting
for someone special.

- I see.

S0, um, what does
this mystery woman look like?

- Uh, well, she's, uh, she's
definitely unassuming

and can pump her brakes.

Yeah, but she's also
very well put together.

Unpretentious.

But definitely self-assured.

Not afraid to laugh.

But knows how
to handle her business.

- Uh-huh.

Sexy, but not slutty.

Intelligent, but not nerdy.

Seducible, but not...
gullible?

- Right.

- This is a mistake.

Iam so sorry that I...
wasted your time.

- Mistake--
What do you mean?

- Every woman deserves
to be pursued,

and if I'm not
worthy in your eyes, then I...

I wish you well.

- Wait, wait, l'm-- I'm sorry,
I didn't mean to--

I wasn't trying to, uh--

- You weren't
trying at all, and I'm sure

you get every woman you want
with very little effort.

But I'm just not that girl.

Here's my number in case
you ever need that accounting help.

- Wait, I'm such an idiot,
Hailey, l-l-l...

I wasn't trying to insult you.

- It's okay.

I'm just far too vulnerable
not to have those feelings returned.

Take care.

All right, Shelly.

I want an orgy, and
I want it in five minutes.

- Yes, Miss Colbum.

Oh, and Matthew, James, and T.l.
have called multiple times.

- Okay, tell Matthew
to meet me here for lunch.

Tell James I'm out 0f town.

And take everything we have
on Christopher Michaels

into the conference room.

- And T.l.?

- Hmm.

- You have a call
on line one.

- Hailey Colbum.

What's your
favorite flower?

- Who is this?

- Christopher Michaels.

- Mr. Michaels?

- So, what's
your favorite flower?

- Calla lilies.

- Great.

Hold on a sec.

- Hold? Hello?

- These just came
for you.

- Ijust wanted to make sure
you knew you were worth pursuing.

- Oh, lucky guess?

- No, I had
my bases covered.

- I see.

- I want to see you.

- Yeah, no, tonight I--

- No, now.
- Now?

- I thought maybe you could
take off from work a little early.

There's something I'd
like you to see.

- I'll be right down.

- What should I do
with the rest 0f these?

- Keep 'em.
- Oh.

Hmm.

If

S0, I was
thinking we could catch the sunset.

The sunset?

- Yeah, you know
what a sunset is, don't you?

- Of course I do.

I just never sit still
long enough to... see it.

- That's a shame,
you should.

Time's always fleeting.

- Which is why I never
have enough 0f it.

- Hmm.

Time is like that water.

If

- There's always enough,
you just have to use it wisely.

- Uh-huh, okay, I see
what this is.

- What's that?

- You're a drifter.

- A drifter?
- Mm-hmm.

You come into town,
sweep a girl off her feet,

get bored, and then ride
off into the sunset.

- Oh, no.

N0, that's
not me at all.

Um, I've only had three girlfriends
in my entire life.

- Really?

- Yeah, yeah.

But I only had
the real thing once.

- The real thing,
what's that?

- True love.
- Oh, that.

- You sound like a
non-believer.

- Let's just say I believe that
love is much ado about nothing.

- Ah.

You know, most people think
that when they've never experienced it.

- S0 what happened?

- A boring story.

Guy meets girl,
guy falls in love with girl,

girl meets new guy,
guy moves on.

- Hmm.

Well, you should be--
you should be grateful.

- Grateful?

- Hey, it's better to find out
sooner than later.

- Perfection is rare.

- You sure know how
to build a girl's confidence.

. OKW-

Here's where
it gets fun.

- What?

What-- you want
me to climb this thing?

- Oh, come on now, it's
not that bad.

Give me your shoes,
give me those shoes.

Those beautiful shoes.

- But I have on a skirt,
I mean...

- Okay,
okay, okay. OkaY-

- Well, now it's a miniskirt.
- Oh, wow.

I can't
believe I'm doing this.

- Come on, I gotcha,
Chris gotcha.

- God.

- It's worth it, I promise.
- Yeah.

- Just step where
I step and you'll be fine.

- All right.
- All right.

- Slow.

- I'll move slow enough for you.
- Okay, all right.

- Ow!
- You all right?

- Uh, yeah, uh, my
pedicure isn't.

- I'll get you
a new pedicure.

If

- You're almost there.
- Okay, 0w, okay.

- I got like 10 pedicures
on my credit now, huh?

- Yes, you do.

- That's all right,
I can afford it.

Here okay
with you, Ms. Colbum?

- For you.

- That's good.

All right, that cucumber
has to go somewhere.

- S0, tell me
about your last relationship.

Are you all right?

- You okay?
- Mmm.

L, um...

I just don't like to
talk about my relationships.

- Okay, uh, we'll circle back
to that one, then.

- S0, is this your standard
seduction or did I get the upgrade?

- Um, no.

I usually come here alone
just to clear my head.

I jog here every morning.

- Then I'm flattered.

Very flattered.

- Life is so funny.

- How so?

N0, let me guess.

The minute you feel like you
had it all figured out,

it all changes.

- N0, that's not
what I was gonna say.

I was gonna say just as life
brings you sadness,

it also brings
you great beauty.

Come on.

- What, where are
we going?

- Come on, there's
an old myth that says

if your feet touch the water just as
the sun touches the horizon,

your children will be blessed.

- Children?!
- Yeah, come on.

If

It's freezing.

'L 90f you.

If

If

- Oh, my God.

- Hailey Colbum.

Miss Colbum.

- Yes, Shelly?

- I think you need to come
to the office right away.

Why?

- There's a very large gentleman
here by the name 0f T.l. and, um...

I'm gonna kill somebody.

- Uh...

Yeah, he's not too happy.

- What? What is he doing?

- He looks like
he's about to explode.

- What, okay, okay, just, just
calm down, Shelly, okay?

Just try to get him on the phone.

- Hold on.

Um...

Excuse me.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah,

he's-he's-he's
not gonna come to the phone.

I'm gonna call the police, okay?

- N0, no, don't, just, just, um--
tell him to wait there, I'm coming now.

- Yes, Mr. Colbum, as-
as soon as she arrives.

- Well, T.l., baby, what are you d0--
- Don't baby me.

- What are
you doing here?

- I've been calling you
and calling you.

You stopped
returning my calls?

- Um...

I stopped calling you?

N0, you stopped
calling me.

Yeah, I have been
looking for you for weeks.

Where have you been?

Huh...

- Yeah.
- I've been--

- N0, you've been missing
in action, mm-hmm.

I have been
looking for you everywhere.

- I don't got no missed calls
from you.

- How many
times have I told you

to get rid 0f that piece 0f
junk you call a phone?

- My, my plan's not over yet.

- Damn it, T.l.

I trusted you.

I depend on you to
be there when I need you.

- You're right.

Look, forgive me,
please?

It won't happen again.

- It can never
happen again.

I need you.

And when I need you
and you're not there...

When I need you then what do I need
you for if you're not there?

- ...You're right.

- Now...

This is my place
0f business, okay?

And I need you to never,
ever, ever

come here again.

. OKW-

- D0 you understand?

Let's go.

- Hailey, what
the hell happened here?

- I know what you're
gonna say.

- N0, you do not
know what I'm going to say.

Baby, we can't have your personal life
spilling over into this office.

- I'm sorry.

- Listen to me, sweetheart,
if you play with people's feelings

eventually everybody--
everybody“ gets hurt.

- Dad, I know
what I'm doing,

and with all due respect,
this is my life.

It'll never happen again.

- You see that it doesn't.

Now, where are we on
the Christopher Michaels case?

- Making progress.

- What exactly does
that mean?

- It means that things are going
exactly the way that they should be.

- Hailey, I want this case closed,
and I want it closed fast.

- Got it.

- I am so sorry,
James.

You Okay?

- Who was that lunatic?

- He was someone
I was seeing.

- Seeing?

. Yes?

- I thought
that we were exclusive.

- I never told you that.

- But you never said
that we weren't.

I mean, what about the-
the-the poetry I wrote you, huh?

The love songs?

I mean,
the flowers every day.

- They were beautiful,
I enjoyed--

I enjoyed
everything, it was beautiful.

- And how could you
appreciate it

if your soul was divided?

S0 this was all just a-- just
a game to you, wasn't it?

- Oh, okay,
look, if you want to leave,

then you should just
go because...

Otherwise, just
quit wasting my time.

- My love is too pure for
an infidel like you.

- Uh...

0h!

If

Oh, this is nice.

Okay, so, why did you get
this big table?

- Oh, I just like
the extra space.

- Hailey.

It's cool, don't worry about it.

- Hi, yeah,
we just sat down, okay.

- Uh, what's going on?

I'm gonna jump across this table
and stab you to death

if you don't tell me.

- Okay, don't
be so dramatic, God.

Christopher's on his way.

- Why is Christopher
on his way?

- He and Sans
were just in the area.

- You little tricky bitch.
- Oh, come on, Sybil.

He likes you, and
dinner is not going to kill you.

- It's gonna kill you.

Hailey, he's married.

- He has been separated
for two years.

- I don't know,
there's just too much drama.

I mean, besides, how
do you know

you're gonna close
this deal with Christopher?

- I have a plan.

- Now that you have me a party to
this mess, what is this plan?

- I can't tell you the plan.

- You know what,
I don't have time for this shit.

- I have an inside scoop,
okay?

He's co-mingling funds.

He used investment
money last year

to save his house
when the market tanked.

- How do you prove it?

- I don't have to,
he knows it's true.

And all I have to do is get him
on tape admitting it.

- Well, I don't know.

- Okay, I just need you for
a dinner, that's it, just one dinner.

I love you, I love you.

- I love you.
- Okay, okay, stop.

You know what, you
owe me a trip to Rodeo Drive.

- Oh.
- Hey.

- Hey.
- Hi.

- Hailey.

- These are for you.

- And this is for you.

You look lovely.

- I've never seen a rose
pale in the face 0f beauty.

- Thank you.

- I have to admit,
I'm a little jealous.

- Oh, you shouldn't be.

Have a seat, I have
something special for you.

- Oh, snap.
- Oh, wow.

I have to admit, I
am impressed, Mr. Michaels.

- Well, I figure you'd enjoy him a
lot more than me strumming

on the five chords
that I know, so...

- Isn't that romantic?

- What do you
have against romance?

- Nothing, it's just
overrated.

- How's that?

- Because it
only leads to one thing.

_sex?

- N0, rehab.

The same thing that will
make you laugh

is the same thing
that will make you cry.

- Okay, you have a point,

but if you've never loved,
you've never lived.

- Yeah, if you say so.

- I say so.

- S0, Sans, I hear that
you are quite the investor.

- I do what I can do.

- Yeah, Sans, and I also hear that
you just got out 0f a marriage.

Isn't it a little too soon
to be jumping into the sack?

- Who says I'm trying
to do that?

- Oh, I can
see it in your eyes.

You men are all
the same.

- Sybil, don't be rude.

- Maybe I should
get us all some drinks.

- It's cool, no, no, actually,
you're absolutely right.

- Yeah, I knew it.

- Is that a crime,
though, huh?

That I look at you and see
all that a woman should be?

I mean, you're beyond
beautiful.

You're sexy,
you're confident.

You could dress it up
or keep it loose.

And you have
the body 0f a goddess,

and not to mention those eyes--
those eyes, girl.

You could stop
time with one glance.

S0 what kind 0f man
would I be

if I didn't try with
every morsel 0f my being

to make you mine?

- S0 all you want
is sex?

- N0, I want it all.

You only
asked about sex.

Well, I'm, uh,
I'm starving.

We should probably
do these shots so we can order.

- All right, to new friendships and to--

and to romance.

You can put your roses
in this when we're done with it.

I didn't make eye contact with
you when I said "romance."

Hope I didn't
look at you, Chris.

It felt weird for
a second.

This is good, this is good.

- That's that
top shelf right there.

I'm glad he went
and got it.

I wouldn't have
bought y'all that one.

If

- Teach you how to,
you know, make a salad.

S0 I'm gonna do this.

I'm gonna do this.

Now you go get
the avocados.

You put the whole one...

- You don't think
I got no culinary skills?

If

- N0.

N0.

Oh, my-- 0h.

N0, just take it off.

Take it away,
take it away.

Take it off.

- Uh, Sybil?
- N0.

- Hello?

- What's wrong?

- I slept with Sans.

- You what?!

- Just, just, help me, please.
- What?

- Get over here right now
and make this thing right!

- How am I gonna
make it right?!

- Gosh, this is all your fault!

'My fault?

- Yes, your fault,
I could strangle you right now.

- What--

I did not tell you
to sleep with him.

- N0, but...

I don't know, he had
this puppy-dog, mack thing,

and it just kept calling me.

He was flattering
and persistent.

Damn you,
Hailey, for this shit.

Oh, you're--

Okay.

Rebecca, what is it?

- I hope I didn't
wake you.

- It's 2:00 a.m., no,
come on in, close my door.

What the heck is
happening?

- Look, I called
Eric an hour ago,

and I heard a woman's voice
in the background.

Look, I just--
I don't want to overreact.

- Okay, 0kaY-

If there's a woman at his house
after 10:00 p.m., there is a problem.

Let's go.

- What about me?

- Okay, you just wait
here, okay?

I'll be back.

Let's go.

- Okay, okay. Okay-

There's someone
in there.

He's in there.

- Okay, okay. Okay-

- There's a back door.
- Okay, let's go.

Oh, God, Oh, God, okay, okay.

- You see anybody?

. OKW-

Shh!

Taking a three-games-to-one lead

over the blazers, but
Portland came...

- Let's go around the back.
- Okay.

- Come here.

- Hey!

Rebecca! What--

- Shelly?
- Busted!

- What are you doing here?!

- Mm-hmm, I caught these two
whispering on the phone last week.

- N0. No. No, no.

- You knew
and didn't tell me?

- Did you really want
to know?

- It's not what you think.

- I can't believe you!

- N0, I can explain this.

- You're fired, let's go.

- N0, no, no, no, Rebecca,
Rebecca, no.

- Eric, Eric.

- Baby, baby, Rebecca, Rebecca!

Rebecca, this is-- no, no.

This is not what you think,
baby, I swear to God, no.

- You're lying, you're cheating!

- It's not what you think!

N0, no, no!

- Done!
- What?

- She totally ruined
your spray tan!

- Rebecca!

- Well, now you know.

- And you think that's
a good thing?

- I told you, this is why
you don't commit to a man.

You are setting yourself up
for failure every time.

- You're pathetic.

- Excuse me?

- I don't want to live
in your cold, loveless world.

- Rebecca, I--

- N0, I can't believe you
didn't tell me!

- I was
trying to save you.

- Just take me to my car.

If

- Close the deal, Hailey.

Close the deal.

- Hi.
- Hi, mwah.

Come in.

- This is for you.

- Riesling, my favorite.

Oh, and already chilled,
nice touch.

- I remembered
you ordered it at dinner.

I hope it's not
too sweet.

- I am sure
it'll be perfect.

- You look amazing.

And I thought your father might
enjoy these Cubans.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

- Why don't you
just sit here?

And I'll...
open this up for you.

- Can I help you open
the wine?

- Oh... sure.

Voilé.

Mmm!

Mmm, mm, mm, baby.

That was "Master Chef"
good.

- Well, my mother always
told me the way to a man's heart

is through his pants,
but if you want him

to come home every
night, have dinner waiting.

- Well, your father is
a very lucky man.

- Well, the irony is that
although she had great advice,

that never really
worked for her.

- You know, you
never really talk much

about yourself or your family.

- Not much to talk about.

- Come on, now,
everyone has a story.

- True.

What's yours?

You're a successful
entrepreneur.

- Mm-hmm.

- How do you maintain in
such a tough economical climate?

- Well, it's not easy.

- D0 you own
or rent?

- I own.

- Was your
business ever in trouble?

- Yeah, um... last year,
we barely made it.

- Well, how did you make it,
did you have to borrow money?

Did you stiff your creditors?

- What?

I'm just asking.

I mean, you live in such
a nice house.

You pay, what,
ten grand in mortgage a month?

And you had to stop
taking a salary

because you couldn't
pay for your house, right?

- Wait, wait, how do you know exactly
how much I pay in mortgage?

- Oh, I know a lot about
you, Christopher, Chrissy-poo.

Didn't you use money from your
company to pay for your house?

- Well, yeah, but why
are you asking--

- What is that?

Are you taping me?

- Yes, and now you
will pay HQ Distributors

the $5 million you
owe them.

- Wow.

I paid them this
morning.

- How... you're broke
until you launch your new game.

- Who are you?

- I was hired to retrieve
their money.

- S0, um...

S0, all 0f this
was just business?

- I was just doing
my job.

- Well, your
client got their money.

S0 you did a great job--
you're done.

S0 are we.

00h, ooh.

Can I speak with
you, please?

Just the lady I want
to see.

How did you do it?

- I didn't.

- I do hope you didn't
cross the line, sweetheart,

because I just grilled HQ
For $1 million,

and they are going to refer five,
count them, five other companies to us.

- Dad.
- What, what?

- Oh, God...

- Uh-oh.

- I think
I messed up.

- Ooh.

Ooh, look at me--
Look at me.

What do you know?

Does he know?

- N0.

- S0, what are we going
to do about this?

- I don't know,
l, um, thought I--

Hailey, hi, honey,
I didn't know you were gonna be here.

Oh, good Lord.

Baby, what's wrong
with you?

- She fell in love.

- Robert, out.

- What? I --
- Out, go.

- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, baby.

Quicker.

- Whoo.

- S0, finally caught up
with you, huh?

Mother, please, don't gloat.

- I'm sorry, I'm not,
I'm not honey.

Baby, you can't live your
life outside the rules 0f love.

Sometimes you love,
sometimes you lose.

But in the end...
what is life without love?

- But I don't want
to love!

I just--
I just want order.

Ijust want things
to make sense!

- And you think dating
five men in the answer, hmm?

- Well, dating one didn't work
out too well for you.

- I can still
hear you, you know?

- Shh out there!

- I'm just scared.

I'm scared of-of...

choosing the wrong man.

Honey.

Avoiding the decision...

only prolongs
the inevitable result,

all the while making the worst
decisions along the way.

- If marriage is so
wonderful,

then why are you and Dad
both divorced and miserable?

I'll be back.

- Baby, about that,
l, uh-- Hailey.

- Why didn't you tell her?

- Wasn't time.

- Mmm.

- Thank you
for being here.

- Well, if you can't eat
ice cream

and male-bash with your
friend, what are you good for?

- And thank you.

N0, really.

Thank you
for forgiving me.

- Mmm, I haven't
forgiven you.

N0, I'm just-- I'm thinking
0f ways to make you pay.

- Hey, why not call in a reserve,
you know, go out tonight?

How many
are you down to?

- And then there
were none.

- What-- even T.l.?

- Found a girlfriend.

Chased down some purse-snatcher
for this chick and fell in love.

- Geez.

- I cannot
imagine that man running.

- Oh, I wouldn't want to.

- Well, what about
Matthew?

- Matthew dumped me.

Said he was bored and I w--
I wasn't smart enough for him.

- Ew, not good enough for you.

- N0.

- Yeah, but, have
you called Christopher?

- Of course not, he hates me.

- He could have
blasted you to HQ, but he didn't.

- I just wouldn't know what
to say to him.

- All right, come on,
we're getting out 0f the house.

- Mmm, I don't want
to go anywhere.

- Oh, well, you have to,
hey, no more death by ice cream.

This is your third
this week.

Put it down, put it down.

Come on, let's go.

- Come on!
- Okay, I'll go.

If

- Shots, too, if
you can.

I said it twice, man,
I know she heard me.

- And this is why I'm done
with women.

- Oh.

You gonna
start dating men now?

'Cause we terrible--
I can tell you that.

- Shut up, man, shut--
I'm just--

I'm just all about
my business from now on.

- Okay, and what if you find
the love 0f your life?

- I don't see
that happening.

- What if it already has?

- Well, if that was it,

then I was Ray Charles to all
that 'cause I missed it.

- You missed it because
you wanted to miss it, man.

- Just... leave it alone, man?

- Okay, I'll leave it alone.
- Thank you.

- Hailey was everything
you've been talking about lately,

everything you were looking
for in a woman.

All right, now I'm leaving
it alone, I just had to tell you.

- Yeah, everything, she was a liar.

She was manipulative,
she was conniving.

Everything, huh?

- And according
to Sybil, she's sorry.

- She's sorry?

- Yeah, sorry--

that feeling you get when you
know you messed up?

Look, man, you
never know when or how

your destiny is gonna unfold.

Just got to make sure you're
paying attention so you don't miss it.

- Look, man, now is not
the time, just let it go.

. OKW-

- Come on.
- What?

- It'll be fun.
- Oh.

- Yeah, it'll be good.

- Oh, my God,
wait, is that Christopher?

Did you know he was
gonna be here?

- Come on,
you taught me well.

- He doesn't want to
see me, okay?

- Hey, you can't
always be in control.

For once in your life, let yourself
feel something.

- Why do I
want to feel pain?

- Because without pain,

you'll never really
appreciate pleasure.

Come on.

- Okay.
- Let's go.

Look, man, just-just-just
let it go, leave it alone.

Okay, letting it go.

- Hey.
- Mmm.

- You did this?

- What? Did what, no, no, man.

I was drinking a beer,
I'm sitting with you!

Actually, man,
it was not my idea.

- Excuse me.

- Christopher, wait,
just--

- You should
probably go help your girl.

He get a little crazy when
he be drinking.

Killed a cat
on purpose one time.

- What?
- Yeah.

You date black dudes?

- When they're as
cute as you.

- Christopher!

Would you just wait
a second?

- Why are you
following me, okay?

Can you please just
leave me alone?

- Okay, would you just
give me a chance to explain?

- Okay, what is there to
explain, huh, huh?

It started off as work, and
then it became more than that.

I get it.

It's over.

- N0, you just--

Oh, my God.

Christopher, just
listen to me!

Christopher.

Christopher.

Just wait, okay,
just--

Just listen
to me for a second.

- What?

- It was always a job.

That's all you were
to me-- a check.

I just looked for
new ways to work you

to get your comfortable.

I didn't care about you,
but I didn't--

I didn't expect
to fall for you, either.

I'm not done.

When the job
was over, I just--

I thought that I would be free
to move on, but I can't.

It's like you
had the key and-and-

and didn't need my
permission.

I feel like I need--

- I don't care what
you feel, Hailey, all right?

You used me.

And you hurt me.

And you lied to me.

- I'm sorry.

For the first time in my life,
I feel like I'm vulnerable.

And as much
as that scares me,

l...

I want that,
and I want that with you.

- You can't possibly expect
me to forgive you.

- Why?

- Because you just...

you just can't.

- Why?!

Why not?
Haven't you ever needed forgiveness?

- I can't, Hailey,
I'm sorry.

- Wait, wait, wait, please!

Please!

If

- G0, baby.
- Okay.

- N0, no, no, no, no, no.
- Ooh.

- Here, sweetheart,
here, ease into it, baby.

Ease into it gently,
nice, easy stroke.

- Mmm, you
always did like it easy.

- Yeah, and you always
did like it hard.

- Okay, watch me,
watch me, watch me, watch me.

How's that?

- That's perfect, perfect.
'YaY» YaY-

Oh, please, please.

I saw enough
0f this growing up.

- Yeah, well, get used to it, you're
gonna see a lot more 0f this.

- Oh, we got our groove back.
- And it's better than ever.

- Well, Mr. And Mrs. Colbum,
it's very nice to meet you.

- Hey.
- Hello.

- Christopher, nice to meet you.
- Likewise, sir.

- All right, now,
get ready for this butt-whupping.

- Wow.

See, now, why have
five when one will do?

- Mmm, true.
- True.

If

- We gonna kick your butt.

- Oh, you are, Missy?
- Here we go, here we go!

- Now we're going
to slay you.

Take
it easy now, Mr. Colbum.

Bringing the scoot back.

Come on, Bobby,
show 'em how it's done.

Welcome to
the butt-whupping.

Whoo! Looking good.

Yes! You got it, you got it!

FASTERWOLF