All language subtitles for Mom.S06E07.HDTV.x264.eng

So, I'm out sick one
day, and that's the day

they decide to pick study partners.

Now I have my choice
between the weird dude

who always wears a bow tie

or the girl who writes
with a feather pen.

Take bow tie guy.

- He's a smarty.
- How do you know?

Oh, come on, when judging a
man's intelligence, it goes

bow tie, straight tie, no tie, bolo tie.

Of course, if you're looking for sex,

it goes the other way.

That's true. My Victor used to wear

a bolo tie on occasion.

Did it get awkward because he's dead

or because I'm talking
about my sex life?

Little bit of both.

Geez, Tammy,

you could just take
the lid off and dip 'em.

Sorry. In prison, you only
get one crack at the shaker.

I'm living the dream.

Oh, before I forget, I'm
cleaning out my closet tomorrow.

- If anybody wants anything...
- I'm in.

No bags, no jewelry.

I'm out.

What size shoe do you wear?

The size you wore when
you were eight years old.

Oh, you're a man's size ten?

- I'll come.
- Me too.

Great. Party in my closet.

That used to mean I was so drunk

I couldn't find my way out.

You ladies want some dessert?

- No, just the check.
- Here you go.

Oh, are we in a hurry? I
was enjoying the company.

Really? You wouldn't rather
get home to your loving hu...

hu-hu-hu...
horde of cats?

Nice save.

- I'm sorry.
- Are you doing okay?

Okay.

It's just been real
lonely since Victor passed.

Well, I don't have any plans tomorrow

if you want to come over and...

hang out.

That would be wonderful.

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Look who's still in bed
as the clock strikes noon.

Shh. Desert Animal Rescue is on.

They're pulling a coyote
out of a septic tank.

Poor fella doesn't know
they're trying to help.

Oh, damn it.

I'm not thrilled you're in here either,

but it is where we keep the coffee.

It's not about you. I'm
trying to fight with Adam,

but auto correct keeps
making my texts nice.

I meant to say "butt munch,"
not "butter munchkin."

Aw. He's your little butter munchkin.

Who just canceled our dinner plans

so he could meet with
the bar-stool salesman.

He's opening a bar.

Drunks need something to fall off of.

I don't want to sound
selfish, but I liked it better

when his life was empty
and he had nothing to do

but pay attention to me.

Come on, swim to the harness.

They're your friends.

What is the plan with her?

- There is no plan.
- So she's gonna live here forever?

I hope not, but maybe.

You know she refers to
our couch as her room?

I'm sorry, but I can't
just kick her out.

I don't want you to.

Actually, I do, but it makes
me feel bad about myself.

Hey, Christy, I'm super cozy out here.

You mind grabbing me
some more Froot Loops?

Coming.

Figure it out, butter munchkin.

"Who dis?"

Not funny.

When. Thanks, Christy.

My pleasure.

Hey, can I tell you something?

I am so grateful to you and your mom

for taking me in.

I don't know where I'd be without you.

Of course. Stay as long as you need.

So weak.

Hey, Marjorie, come on in.

- Marge!
- Hey, hello, ladies.

Mom, your play date is here.

I've been really
looking forward to this.

All right, you kids have fun.

No prank phone calls,
and don't use the oven.

Well, look at you, 40 minutes early.

Oh, sorry, just excited.

I've had today circled on
my calendar since last night.

So, what do you want to do?

Well, I figured I'd be here all day,

so I brought a puzzle.

- Oh, my God, a puzzle?
- Oh, my God, all day?

Thanks for helping me out.

Happy to.

In fact, I already cleaned out my closet

to make room for all the stuff

I'm gonna get from your closet.

And also, I'm your
friend and I love you.

I should warn you: my
closet's a little messy.

Oh, I'm sure it's no big...

Holy balls.

Did you fire your housekeeper?

Or is she buried under all this stuff?

I don't let Belinda
come in here anymore.

Caught her wearing one of
my hats and imitating me.

Okay, let's do this.

Jill, go get us four trash
bags and we'll start sorting.

I'm on it.

Why four bags?

Stuff to toss, stuff to
donate. Your haul, my haul.

What do we do if we
both want the same thing?

Don't test me, Wendy. Don't test me.

"Dogs Galore," huh?

What happened, you
couldn't fine "Cats Galore"?

I've already done Cats Galore.

And Cats Galore Two.

Cats Aplenty is on
back-order till March.

Hey, look, I put together
this little fella's face.

Oh, that's great, Tammy, but
standard puzzling procedure

dictates that we start with the edges.

It goes edges, then corners,

then color clusters... E-C-C.

Congratulations, you
just took an unfun thing

and made it less fun.

In prison, every puzzle
led to a fistfight.

Then again, so did daylight.

Well, worst prison riot I was ever in

was over a game of Scrabble.

We were almost finished, and
then the new girl swallowed

the W 'cause someone told
her it was laced with acid.

I hate Scrabble.

It's got spelling and math.

It's just school in a box.

No offense, Marjorie, but you
don't seem like the prison type.

Thanks to 39 years of recovery.

And these glasses on a chain.

So, what-what were you in for?

Bank robbery.

Here's a corner.

Wait, you robbed a bank?

The money was for a
righteous political cause.

And, uh, I really wanted
tickets to Steppenwolf.

Man, that is so cool. You had a reason.

I robbed an Outback
Steakhouse 'cause I was high

and there was an Outback Steakhouse.

Ugh, I hate puzzles!

They're so frustrating and boring.

Ooh, I got one.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I am so wearing this to class Monday.

Better to my reading
because I'm definitely

getting called on.

Oh, that looks so good on you.

I'm gonna keep it.

Got to stop trying stuff on.

Did you change your
mind about this, too?

I did not.

Jill, is that a real fur?

Sure is. And I never
got a chance to wear it.

Couple of angry animal people got me

on the way out of the store.

Good for them.

You know what, I do
want to keep that jacket.

Go limp.

Fine, keep it.

Thank you.

Oh, here's something
I'm not gonna want back.

Ooh, I like that.

Oh, it still has the price tag on it.

Wow, this is, like, 110 hoodies.

And a car.

Yeah, I bought that the
day my divorce became final.

Ugh, the day Baxter and I got divorced,

I treated myself to a Shamrock Shake.

- You okay?
- Yeah, it's just hard

to think about that time.

Well, let's not, then.

What's in here?

That's my wedding dress.

Zip it, zip it, zip it!

Come on, guys, it's a closet party.

Shimmy, shimmy, shimmy.

I'm sorry, you're right.

Oh, my God.

When did you cross a
prairie in a covered wagon?

What were you thinking?

I bought that when I was pregnant.

I was gonna wear it to my baby shower.

I must have sh-shoved
everything in that drawer

after I had the miscarriage.

Oh.

Go limp.

It's okay, let it out.

It's so soft.

I know.

Maybe you'd feel
better if we got back to

to cleaning your closet.

This isn't a closet.

It's a museum of all my failures.

Or it's a museum of the things that

made you the person you are today.

A divorced, childless failure.

I was going for a strong, sober woman

who has a chandelier in her closet.

It doesn't mean anything.

Want me to go downstairs
and get you some water?

You don't have to go anywhere.
Just open that cabinet.

Ooh.

A chandelier and a refrigerator.

If that doesn't say winner,
I don't know what does.

You just have no idea what it's like

to still be such a train wreck.

What are you talking about?

My middle name is train wreck.

I'm in two 12-step programs

and I get all my dental
work done in Mexico.

But you never relapsed.

You don't know how hard
it is to get sober again.

I mean, that's why I shop so much...

To distract myself.

Look...

Leather pants.

I mean, who am I, Pat Benatar?

I love her.

If you've been this upset, why
haven't you shared about it?

'Cause I'm embarrassed.

You guys are all doing so well.

All I've done is throw away

three years of sobriety.

But you're back, and
that's the important part.

Big whoop.

My life's a complete waste of time.

Okay, you know what?
Ting-a-ling-a-ling.

What's that?

That bell means it's time
to shut down the pity party.

Ting-a-ling-a-ling.

Are you trying to tough love me?

I sure as hell am.

Oh, you're so cute.

Damn it. This isn't a
hat, it's a puppy tongue.

Well, I got a boatload
of tongues over here

if anyone needs 'em.

- Seriously, you're hoarding tongues?
- Yeah, what of it?

Easy, easy.

What do you say we take a
break and have some lunch?

No. No food till we're finished.

Look at you... couple hours,

you're a full-on puzzle junkie.

Yeah. That's how I roll.

If it's fun, I make it a problem.

You know we're all thinking it,

but I'm gonna say it out loud:

I wish puzzle club could be every day.

We're not calling it puzzle club.

Yes we are. Marjorie and I decided

when you were in the bathroom.

I'm making us buttons.

Hey, does Adam like puzzles?

I wouldn't mind our club bending co-ed.

Adam doesn't have time
for puzzles right now.

Or me.

- Oh, boo-hoo.
- What?

At least he's alive.

Really? You're gonna
play the widow card?

Well, I find it wins most arguments.

Especially now that my
cancer went into remission.

So what are you saying, I can't complain

I never see him anymore?

I'm just saying have some perspective.

Oh, sure, I'm good at that.

Hey, how did you and Victor meet?

Well, he just evicted Bonnie
and Christy from their house,

and we kind of hit it off.

That's adorable.

Yeah. We were living in a motel
known for its abundance of meth,

but at least Marjorie had someone

to watch Blue Bloods with.

Anyway...

it was such a surprise for me.

I got to have a last love. I'll
always be grateful for that.

Why does he have to be your last love?

Tammy, I'm a cat lady

who just founded a puzzle club.

Co-founded.

- Anyway, the odds are against me.
- Well, you don't

know that. Victor surprised
you, maybe someone else will.

Yeah, Marjorie. Maybe you
should have some perspective.

Okay, you guys, look, it's
getting a little heavy.

Let's change the subject.

Now tell me about this cancer.

Ms. Kendall, to women's shoes.

Well, I can see the floor
again. I guess that's progress.

How about we all go out tonight

so I can thank y'all for helping?

- I have to work.
- Me, too.

But it's Saturday
night. That seems unfair.

- I'm a nurse.
- I'm a waitress.

People like to eat on Saturday nights.

And then have massive heart attacks.

You know, this might surprise you guys,

but... I've never had a job.

- Really?
- No.

Hand to God.

Maybe you should think
about getting one.

Why?

Because you were crying earlier
that your life was meaningless,

and maybe a job would
give it some purpose.

Or, at the very least, give
you a boss you can bitch about.

Ugh, I hate Teresa.

But what would I do?

Well, you love clothes.

Maybe you could work
at a clothing store.

Or open one.

Hmm. And wait on people like me?

I'm a nightmare. No, thank you.

Well, what other job skills do you have?

I can ride horses,
play tennis and fence.

Great, you could be a camp counselor.

Have you thought about
going back to school?

No way. Christy makes
that look miserable.

I'm not miserable.

You complain about it all the time.

All the time.

Don't test me, Wendy. Don't test me.

Jill's right. You're so cute.

Can I see the box? I need
to look at the picture.

An advanced puzzler would tell you

it's cheating to look at the picture.

Well, I would tell that
advanced puzzler to bite my ass.

Now give me the box.

Bam!

Rainbow squeaky toy, done.

Ooh, which means my
rottweiler fits right in there.

Which connects to my pug tail.

Way to go, Puss in Boots.

- Puss in Boots?
- Yeah. I'm trying out

nicknames for you.
That's obviously not it.

I didn't hate it.

Here's a thought.

What if Puzzle Club could be
every day for the two of you?

What are you getting at?

Well, you're all by yourself now,

and you could use a room with a door.

So I'm saying, you know...

Oh, come on, people,
follow the breadcrumbs.

You two should live together.

- Oh.
- Oh.

I'm not gonna say how I feel about it

till you say how you feel about it.

- I think that's a great idea.
- Me too!

Just one thing. How
do you feel about cats?

- I always wanted one.
- Well, now you have eight.

Actually, nine.

A stray wandered in
the night Victor died.

I'm not saying it's him, but it's him.

I have nine cats and a puzzle club.

My life is awesome!

Don't worry, this isn't garbage.
We're just making a donation.

Wow, did you do a
neighborhood clothing drive?

Nope, just one woman's
obscenely large closet.

There's four more bags in the car.

One of them's just sports bras.

I shop to fill a hole, but
that's not your problem.

This is all designer stuff.

Yeah, but not from this
year. Is that still okay?

Yeah, we can make that work.

Most of the women who
come to our shelter

show up with nothing.

That's heartbreaking.

Oh, but this is the
kind of stuff that will

really help them get back on their feet.

They can wear it to job interviews,

or... if they win an Oscar.

I have a bunch of
maternity clothes, too,

if anyone here is pregnant.

Oh, we've got pregnant.

Thank you so much.

I better get sorting.
This is gonna take a while.

Okay, well, it's nice meeting you.

You have a lot of free
time. You could help.

I have a lot of free time. I could help.

How about Monday through
Friday, 9:00 to 5:00?

- Okay.
- Really?

I was kidding, but
that would be amazing.

Look at that. I got a job. Ha, ha!

- Congratulations.
- Yay!

Okay, I'm gonna go get
the rest of the bags.

Does she understand this
is a volunteer position?

She's got a chandelier in her closet.

She's gonna be fine.

Bonnie, it doesn't go there.

- Yes, it does.
- What...

Come on. If you bend the
pieces, I can't frame it.

Ooh, can we put it in my room?

I'm pretty sure the puzzle stays

where the puzzle was completed.

Oh, time-out.

Potty break.

You know, we could just
finish it while she's gone.

- She called a time-out.
- So?

And just like that,

puzzle club gets political.

I think you're really gonna
like living with Marjorie.

Oh, I think so, too.

I want to say...

what a pleasure it's been
to be part of your...

miraculous transformation, and, um...

I'm really gonna miss you.

I'm only moving a half mile away.

Mm-hmm.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Ooh. You guys are doing a puzzle.

It's called "Dogs Galore."

I see why.

- Ooh, I got one.
- Ah, puzzle club only.

- Puzzle club?
- Puzzle club. We're getting buttons.

Hey, Christy, I'm
moving in with Marjorie.

Oh, okay.

Are you gonna cry like your mom did?

I am having big feelings.

Oh, you are the finest person
who has walked the face of this Earth.

Thank you.

Damn it, we're missing the last piece!

Look on the floor!
It's got to be here somewhere.

I knew they'd try to finish without me.

-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --

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