All language subtitles for Columbo 11 - The Greenhouse Jungle (1972) TV

- [Gunshot]
- Lieutenant, I received a letter from Tony.

Well, he's perfectly all right.

Really.
How big a ransom
did the letter ask for, ma'am?

I must say, the lieutenant's
investigatory procedures
do differ somewhat from my own.

Well, that speaks very well
for you, Sergeant Wilson.

[Phone Ringing]

[Ringing Continues]

Hello?
[Man]
Mrs. Goodland?

Yes.
Mrs. Tony Goodland?

Who is this?
Never mind.

I just wouldn't go any place
if I was you.

Your old man, he just
bought himself some trouble.

He's what?
What are you talking about?

Just stay put, lady.

If he pays up,
no hard feelings.

If he don't,
we'll be in touch with you.

Get in touch? What is this?

[Line Disconnects]
[Dial Tone Humming]

Tony?

Tony?

[Ringing]

Hello? Whom?

Mrs. Tony Goodland.

And if my husband is there, Miss West,
I'd like to speak with him, please.

Well, why would you...
I mean, what makes you...

I know what you mean, dear,
and you know what I mean.
Now, is he there or isn't he?

Well, he certainly is not.

Now I was at one time Tony's...

Mr. Goodland's receptionist employee,
Mrs. Goodland.

And that is absolutely all!

I know all about
your skills at the office.
Just tell me where Tony is.

Well, I don't know where he is.
Honest, Mrs. Goodland.

[Line Disconnects]
[Dial Tone Humming]

Jarvis?
I'm looking for Tony.

Ah, sweet Catherine.
Looking for Tony, are you?

My, what a pleasant surprise
for him.

Tell me, my dear.
Have you tried your own home?

- I am home.
- Well, a double surprise.

Jarvis, look, I'm not in the mood
for playing badminton right now.

I got a weird phone call
a couple of minutes ago and l...

- Did you? One of your friends?
- Damn it, Jarvis. Will you listen?

Oh.

Sounds quite lethal, doesn't he?

Well, I tell you, Cathy,
why don't you wait an hour,

and ifTony doesn't come weaving
in by then, why don't you call
the authorities.

Yes, of course, the police.

Drunks and errand husbands
are their special province, I believe.

Not at all, my dear.
Oh, and, Cathy,

assuming nothing is wrong
with Tony,

it's been my pleasure
to hear you so upset, my dear.

Torpedoes running straight,
hot and normal.

Why do you always
have to talk to her
like she was some kind of a...

Well, isn't she?
I've told you before,
knock off that stuff.

And the word for you
is still "gullible."

Why do you insist upon
being in love with a wife...

who spends all your cash
on some skiing instructor?

Maybe I've fooled around
a little bit myself.

In self-defense, dear boy.

Of course, you are embarrassingly weak
and far too decent...

to compete with
your Catherine the great.

UncleJarvis, I'm warning you.
I don't want to hear
any more talk about...

Look, this whole thing better work.
It just better work, that's all.

Oh, it'll work.
I planned it.

And now let's be off
to conclude phase one,
shall we, nephew?

Now wait a minute. Wait a minute.
What if Cathy calls
you back again later?

She'll get a busy signal.

I thought I told you
to listen to the police calls.

I have been.
I just turned it off.
Then turn it on again.

[Man Over Radio, Indistinct]

[Woman Over Radio]
Three-car collision at the corner
of Sepulveda and...

[Police Radio Chatter Continues]
Now, what about
tomorrow night?

I make the first phone call to Cathy
between midnight and 12:30.

From?
That roadside phone
just below here.

And the second call?
Twenty minutes later
from the same phone.

To you, at that gas station
on Wilshire.

Good.
Boo.

It's gonna feel like Halloween
wearing this thing.
Well, don't forget to wear these.

We don't want some clod
trying to match footprints.
Now, where's the letter?

Oh. Here.

I copied straight
from your draft.
Word for word?

Yes.!
What about fingerprints?

Only mine on the letter
and the envelope.

[Woman Over Radio]
Anthony Goodland, age 31.
Hey, listen.

Driving yellow sports car.
Chrome-spoke wheels.

License ZZ03 2 4.

All cars, report if subject
is located.
Well, we are in business.

And now, dear nephew,
to phase two.

Listen, Jarvis.

Couldn't we just hide theJag?
That thing cost me a bundle.

Did it cost you $300,000?

Headlights off.
I know.

Dashboard clock set back to 12:18.

Windows up.!

Emergency brake off?
Yes!

- Flaps up, wheels down.
- Would you mind?

Well, don't just stand there.
Push!

Come on!

The end of a perfect day.

[Man Over Radio]
Stand by. Information incomplete.

Hey, mister,
didn't you see me signaling?
I'm a cop, sir.

Right, you're a cop.
Now can you back this up
and move it down the hill?

Officer, you don't understand.
I'm a member of the force.
Lieutenant.

Lieutenant, don't worry
about your car. The officer
will move it for you.

Officer, right now.
A lieutenant?

This way, sir.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you very much.

Thank you very much.

Sir... Oh, sir, may I?

Oh, fine.

Sir, the vehicle's point
of descent is right over there.
You'll notice the skid marks of course.

These are the, uh...
These are the second set
of skid marks here?

No, sir. The second set
is right over here.

It's a bigger, heavier vehicle.

Of course, I don't have to
tell you that, sir.
Oh, please. You could tell me.

Well, the smaller vehicle is the vehicle
that descended into the canyon.

Here, I'll show you
the quickest way down.

Lieutenant?
It's a... little steep.

Yes, sir. Sir?

But I'll tell you,
it was the quickest way down.
Oh, yes, by far.

Here, sir.
[Groans]
Thank you.

[Muttering]
This is the car
right here, sir.

Subject vehicle, a Jaguar,
registered to subject person...

of last night's missing person report,
Anthony Goodland.

Male Caucasian,
residing 11 Hightower Road.

Discovered approximately
one hour ago by two juveniles
taking a shortcut to school.

You want their names, Lieutenant?
What? Who? I'm sorry?

The juveniles. I have their names
right here when you need them.

Yeah. Very good. Very good.
Yes, sir.

Soil moisture tests
beneath subject vehicle...

indicate residual dew,

indicating in turn
that subject vehicle...

has been here since last night.

That is substantiated
by subject vehicle's electric clock...

which stopped running at 12:18.

Bullet hole in window
on driver's side, but no blood,

indicating preliminarily
that bullet missed.

Bullet slug lodged
in back of passenger seat.

Lights, ignition,
emergency brake, all off.
[Chuckles]

Well, sir, I guess I don't have to tell you
what this all adds up to.

Adds up to?
Yes, you can tell me.

As I reconstruct it, sir,
Mr. Goodland was halted...

by the shot you
were looking at there,

forced out of the car,
which was then pushed over the side.

This to conceal the fact
that he was grabbed by a person
or persons unknown.

That jibe with your thinking, sir?

Uh, I was wondering.
Could you tell me your name?

Oh, I'm terribly sorry, sir.
Detective Sergeant Frederic Wilson.

Sir, please, forgive my rudeness.
Oh, no, that's perfectly all right.

One years experience Homicide,
two years Advanced Police School,
Berkeley,

returned to city Homicide,
six July.

Wow. Well, you're a very
efficient officer. I can see that.
Thank you, sir.

With permission from Captain Ritchie
to work right alongside you, sir.

You're gonna work
along with me?

l, uh, do hope
that's acceptable to you, sir.

Uh, Captain Ritchie did say you were fast
becoming a legend in the department.

Oh, Captain Ritchie said that?
Oh, yes, indeed.

Oh. Well. Do you have
a pocketknife?

Yes, sir.

Would you hold this for me?
Oh, certainly, sir.

I wonder why he said that.
I beg your pardon?

Captain Ritchie, he said that?
About you?

Oh, repeatedly, sir.

I wonder why he said that.
Thank you.
Oh, thanks.

I wonder if you could get this
over to the crime lab
as soon as possible.

Oh, yes, sir.
This fella have a wife?

Does she know about this?

I suggested they wait until
you had made your preliminary report, sir.
Oh, very good.

Sergeant, I wonder if you could
hang around here and see if you could
locate any more physical evidence,

something that might
do us some good?

Could you do that?
Certainly, sir.

Thank you. Fine.
Lieutenant?

Yes?
Um...

I hope you don't mind Captain Ritchie
assigning me to you like this.

I mean, that is to say I realize
it was done without consulting you, and...

No, Freddie, that's perfectly
all right. Captain Ritchie's
a very fine administrator,

and I'm sure
he just wanted to expose me
to some modern techniques.

No, I appreciate that.
Uh, I think I'll go
the long way around.

Oh, yes. Oh, Lieutenant?

Yes?
Your coat.

Oh, thank you very much.
I'll carry it. Thank you.

[Jarvis]
Well, I must say, Catherine,

our kidnapper, whoever he is,
is certainly no piker.

To demand a ransom
of $300,000,

why, I'll wager there are weeks
here and there even you
don't spend that sort of money.

Don't you ever stop, Jarvis?

However, leaving
our personal affection aside,

you must realize that my situation
is such that even I couldn't pour...

even the smallest drop
into such a huge bucket,

even though I'm not a weakling
with a spendthrift wife.
[Doorbell Chimes]

Oh, shut up, Jarvis.

Uh, Mrs. Goodland?
Yes.

Police department, ma'am.
Lieutenant Columbo.

Yes?
Would you mind
if I came in?

Well, I've already told your people
everything I know, Lieutenant,
in triplicate.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have company.

Uh, ma'am, you see, this time,
I've got something to tell you.

Oh.
[Sighs]

Well, come in.

This is Lieutenant, uh...
Columbo.

How do you do, sir?
This is Jarvis Goodland,
Tony's uncle.

Did I hear you say
you have something to tell us?

Uh, yes, sir.
I'm sorry, Mrs. Goodland.

We found your husband's car
about an hour ago.

It was in a canyon
off Middlecross Road.

Smashed up pretty badly,
I'm afraid.

Kind of a long drop
offi that particular spot.

Even worse, we found a bullet hole
in the window on the driver's side.

You already heard this?

- Uh, no.
- Oh.

Well, it kind of seems
to me that if...

somebody popped in and told my wife
that they found my car...

at the bottom of a canyon
with a bullet hole in it,

you know, I think she would
wanna ask if I was in the car,
if I was hurt, if I was alive...

You're quite right, Lieutenant.
We do know much of what
you're telling us.

Jarvis.
It's always better to tell the truth,
my dear, especially to the police.

Jarvis, will you let me handle...

Lieutenant, I received a letter
from Tony. He's perfectly all right.

Really.
How big a ransom did the letter
ask for, ma'am?

- You already knew.
- Oh, no, no. No, uh...
Is that an ashtray?

It's just that letters to wives
and relatives saying
"don't talk to the police,"

they often involve a kidnapping.

And I mean, uh,
the way I could just barely
get into the house here,

just now, right here at the door,

well, I make these small observations...
I can't help it, ma'am... sometimes.

- May I see the letter, please?
- Well, you can't.

Aside from the fact it specifically says
not to give the police any information...

Mrs. Goodland, I will do nothing
to endanger the safety of your husband.

But this is a crime.
This is a police matter.

I've already sent it by messenger
to Mr. Jameson at the Golden West Bank.

He's gonna verify Tony's handwriting.
He'll do whatever's necessary.

Catherine, I think you'd better
cooperate more than that.

The letters asked for $300,000
in small unmarked bills.

$300,000?

Well, that's a lot of money.
I mean,

well, do you mind if I ask you,
do you have access...

Well, of course I don't have it.
But Tony has a trust fund.

Now, in an emergency like this...
Ah, the trust fund.

That's why you wanted me here.

Well, Jarvis, I certainly know
you wouldn't help me raise
the money any other way.

I'm sorry. I don't quite understand
about that trust fund.

Well, you see, I am coadministrator
with the bank...

of a trust fund set up
by Tony's father.

And you, Catherine,
should know of all people...

that he put enough strings in there
to protect Tony from his own bad habits...

and grasping wives.

I also know, because Mr. Jameson
told me on the telephone,

that there is an emergency clause
for... well, for problems like this.

- Yes, there is that.
- Then you can get the money?

I mean, you can break the trust fund.
Boy, that's a lucky thing.

We can if the bank
verifies the letter.

[Jarvis]
And if I choose to vote
in Tony's favor.

Now there's no use
glaring at me like that.

Blood is thicker than martinis.

I'll go and seeJameson
right away.
Hmph.

Oh, sir? You will be careful
with the fingerprints, won't you?

I mean, we could help
with the verification.

Why don't I send one of the lab boys
over there to meet you?
Why don't you do that?

Delightful, isn't he?

What? Huh?

Oh. Well,

you know, everybody gets uptight
in a situation like that.

I can understand that.
And, Mrs. Goodland,

believe me, I understand
how concerned you are
about your husband.

And rest assured,
we will do nothing to interfere.

- Just help.
- [Door Opens]

I heard the front door close.
I thought you were alone.

Who are you?

Another cop?
Uh, yes. Lieutenant Columbo.

Ken Nichols.
Friend of the family.

How do you do, sir?

Hey, you look a little tired.

You go on back upstairs
and get some rest.

You let me be the watchdog,
fix him a drink or whatever.

No, he was just leaving.

Uh, yes, I was just leaving.

Now, Mrs. Goodland,
you just follow any instructions
they give you in that letter,

and we'll stay in the background
till your husband's released.

I mean, uh, don't worry.
Everything's gonna be all right.

Lieutenant?
Yes?

I'm scared about Tony.

And I'll do anything on earth
to see him safe.

We lead separate lives.

And I don't really care
what you might be thinking right now.

Good day!

[BellJingling]

[Rustling]

Oh, excuse me.

I hope I didn't startle you, sir.

One of your men...
I believe it was the gardener...
he said it was all right if I waited here.

And I must say,
it's been a real pleasure...

because I've never seen
so many beautiful flowers in my life.

Orchids, Lieutenant.

One of the finest collections
in the country, even if I say so myself.

My wife loves African violets,

but, boy, what a thrill
it would be to her...

I can imagine if I ever brought...

That speciman's value is
approximately $1200.

$1200. Can you imagine that
for one flower?
Mm-hmm.

Hard to believe. Boy, a fella
could go broke with a hobby like this.
Mm-hmm.

You mean to tell me every one
of these are worth $1200?

Lieutenant Columbo, I enjoy
talking about my orchids,

but I have a feeling you came here
with something else on your mind.

Yes, sir. I'm waiting to hear
how you made out at the bank.

Ah.

And to see this I suppose.

Oh, yes, sir, that's very important.
I'd like to keep that for evidence
if I could.

Let's see if I have
a handkerchief here.

Oh, go ahead!
It won't bite you.

Your expert's already verified
that the fingerprints are Tony's...

and that the handwriting is his.
Oh, he checked it out, did he?

Oh, yes.
Well, then there's no need
to be so careful.

[Coughs]

Let's see. "Cathy,

"there's a man standing over me...

making me write this."

"Driving in a car on a country road,
shot at me."

[Mutters]
"Forced offi the road. "

"Don't worry. I'm not hurt."
That's must have been a relief
when you got to that part.

- Oh, yes, indeed.
- "Demand $300,000.

Whatever you do,
don't tell no police. Sit tight..."

Your expert has told you, I'm sure,
everything including the text.

Yeah, you know.
He did in his way.

And also that the money
will be available.

Yeah, that was a lucky thing,
wasn't it?

And also the fact of your being here
jeopardizes my nephew's life.

Now supposing we were watched.
Good point, sir.

You're absolutely right.

Better run along.
Uh, the, uh...

The one or two little things I have,
I guess they can wait until, uh...

Yeah.

[Sighs]

Now, it just hit me
how much you must love these flowers.

No, when you didn't go
straight to the bank...

I mean, with your nephew being kidnapped,
and they told me you took the time
to stop off at the nursery...

You mean I'm being followed already?

That you're interfering
and you promised you wouldn't?
Uh...

I'm gonna call up
your superiors!
No, there's no need to do that, sir.

No, they've told me,
and they've made it very clear,
I'm to stay in touch,

but until your nephew is released,
believe me, we're way back.

Way back.
Nothing to worry about.

In that case, I don't mind
revealing that my nephew
isn't worth a sack of peat moss.

He's a wife-ridden weakling
whom I've despised for years.

If it wasn't for the fact
that he's my only relative,

I'd call up his captors
and tell them that
they're welcome to him.

[Door Closes]
[Bell Jingles]

Uh, Lieutenant, sir?

The boys on the new shift,
they keep asking me...

why a homicide lieutenant
has requested to stay
on this kidnapping thing, uh...

l... I don't know what
I'm supposed to say.

Are they angry?
I hope they're not angry.
I don't...

Lieutenant, we got a ring.

Oh. Hold that.

[Ringing]

Answer it.

Yes? Tony!

Tony, where are you?

Yes, Jarvis is here.

Yes, I've got the money.
Yes, Tony, I'm listening.

TellJarvis he's to go to...

Cal-Texas Gas Station,

583 5 East Wilshire.

Wait for a call.

[Straining]
Public phone booth.
You got that?

Yes, I've got that.
Tony, are you all right?

Have they hurt you?
You sound so...
[Dial Tone Humming]

They made him hang up.

5835 East Wilshire.
Yes, I think I know the station.

Well, might as well
get it over with.

If you'd just sign this, Mr. Goodland.
Bank rules and all.
Oh, yes, of course.

What about my going
with you, Mr. Goodland?
You?

Sure. I'll hide in the back of the car...
My dear boy,
there's one thing I don't need,

it's a hero.

Now assuming I survive,
I shall telephone and let you know.

Keep him in sight.
No tailgating, understand?
Yes, sir.

[Phone Ringing]

[Line Ringing]

[Line Clicks]
It's about time!

Uh, yeah, yeah.
Okay, okay.

Uh, take Sunset to Surf Road.

North on Surf 4.6 miles.

You got 15 minutes to get there.

[Man]
I think he's stopping, Lieutenant.

[Wilson]
Pull up and turn off the lights.
Yes, sir.

Did you ever see
one of these before, Lieutenant?

Uh...

No, I'm not sure I have.
It, uh, looks kind of
familiar, though.

It's a camera-mounted starlight scope.
They use 'em quite a bit at Berkeley
for night work.

You mean that takes pictures
in the dark?
Yeah.

I bought this one myself.
You used your own money?

Well, I wanted to have
the best equipment for the job, sir.

You must be a bachelor.

[Camera Shutter Clicking]

Lieutenant! We've got some
very clear footprints here,
going and coming.

Good. We'll have some moulage
casts made. I think we better go.

Lieutenant, uh...

I believe I'd rather take
some three-dimension photographs,
if you don't mind.

We've pretty much stopped using
moulage casts, you know.

We have?
Oh, with footprints,
yes, indeed.

You see, we found
that when the plaster swells,

it makes them appear a half
to a full size larger than they really are.

- No kidding?
- Oh, absolutely.

Well, then maybe
we better take pictures.
Oh, very good.

Just as quickly as you can,
Sergeant.
Yes, sir.

Oh, it's you, Columbo.
Yes, sir. I hope
we didn't scare you.

Detective Sergeant Wilson.
You didn't scare me,
but the kidnapper did.

That mask and everything,
frankly, I'm a little unraveled.

Well, that's quite natural,
Mr. Goodland, believe me.
Thank you, young man.

Uh, sir, we're kind of interested in
exactly what happened up there
on that hill.

Well, the man said, "Goodland?"
I said, "Yes."

He said, "Give me the money."
I gave him the money.

I hope you didn't surround
those trees he ran into.

Oh, no, sir. Just as we agreed,
we're gonna stay out of this thing
until your nephew's released.

You wouldn't recognize him again,
would you, if you saw him?

The guy up there in the hill?
I told you,
he had a stocking mask on!

Yeah.

I guess it was pretty dark
up there too.

His voice.
Anything familiar about his voice?
The way he walked maybe?

Lieutenant, I've had a fatiguing
and rather frightening evening.
Can't this wait until tomorrow?

Yeah. I'm sorry, sir.
I guess it must seem to you
that we're not being very considerate.

- Have a pleasant night, sir.
- I presume that's gallows humor.

Good night, young man.

Sorry it was so long. I had to be sure
that Neanderthal policeman
wasn't following us.

[Panting]
Well, it was hairy when
he stopped you, I'll tell you that.

Well, I'll take the bag.
No.

I'll take it.

I've really gotta hand it
to you, UncleJarv.

Unbreakable trust broken
to the tune of 300 thou.

Would you look
at these lovely green bricks.

Beautiful.

Far too beautiful for you to waste
your half on that woman.

That woman happens to be my wife,
and I wanna keep her.

If money's what it takes,
money's what she'll have.

What a waste.

No, Tony, no.

The time has now come for me
to explain to you phase three.

[BellJingling]

Columbo.
Oh, good morning,
Mr. Goodland.

I was hoping I'd find you up.
Uh, your gardener said
I might find you here.

You have something on Tony?
No, sir. No.

I'm afraid we haven't gotten
any kind of report at all,
none at all.

That sounds ominous.

Oh, he could pop up
any minute now, sir.

Of course, uh, there is
that possibility that once
they get him to write the letter...

and make the phone call...
but you never know.

You mean, they may have waited
until the ransom money was paid,
and then...

That's a grisly thought.

Well, you just never know,
but it's good to be positive.

I always like to think positive.
Is that all you came here
to talk to me about?

No, sir. No, I didn't.

Sir, I was hoping that
you'd be able to make
a suggestion.

My wife has tried everything
she knows to get this thing to grow.

This African violet here.

Uh, I was hoping maybe
you'd be able to make a suggestion.

That is the most miserable
specimen I've ever seen.

My only advice to you, Columbo,
is to throw it in the trash can.

Yeah.

I was afraid you were
gonna say that.

Well, what are you gonna do?

Listen, as long as I'm here,
I might as well bring up one or two
little things I didn't get to before.

Uh, your nephew's
red car, for instance.

You know, we found that thing
with the ignition and lights off
and the gear in neutral.

Neutral? But the letter said
he was forced off the road.

Perhaps they grabbed Tony
and pushed the car over the side
to keep it out of sight, don't you think?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's
what it looks like, all right.

Of course, only then,
one of them made that first
telephone call to Mrs. Goodland.

Well, that was to make her
believe the letter when she got it.

She's a very hard woman
to convince of anything,
Lieutenant.

Mm. I wonder how they knew that.

Funny. And no skid marks.

I mean, a really funny...

Say, what is this thing, sir?

That is a multicolored
cattleya bulb from Brazil.

From Brazil? You don't say?
Really?

Skid marks, Lieutenant?
Huh?

- Skid marks?
- Oh, yeah. There were marks
of a heavier car on that road too.

But his Jaguar, you know, boy,
they can really travel.

- I don't know how the heavier
car caught up with him.
- But they took a shot at him.

- Isn't that what he said?
- Yeah, that's what the letter...

Well, you know something,

the line of flight of that bullet
through the window...

Well, that slug would've
passed right through him.

I mean,
ifhe was driving the car.

But it didn't. I mean, nothing.
You know? No blood, nothing.

Just a.3 2-caliber slug
in the seat.

Well, you see,
Tony's been ducking
things adroitly for years.

[Chuckles]
Right. Right.
Uh, very good, sir.

You want this? Here.

Uh, listen, sir,
[Clears Throat]

you've got a gun yourself,
haven't you, Mr. Goodland?

Also a.3 2, I think.

Uh...
Mm-hmm. Uh, yes, yes.

There's one around here somewhere.
I haven't seen it for almost a year.

Uh, Tony gave it to me.
It's around the house somewhere.

Lieutenant,
you been checking up on me?

Oh, no, sir. No. I just happened
to run across a, uh,

police report you filed,
oh, way back there sometime.

Yeah, I had it here a minute ago.
I don't know what happened to it.

Uh, it had to do with somebody
breaking into the, uh...
into the greenhouse here.

- Solarium.
- Oh, "solarium," right.
I stand corrected.

I got this telephone bill.
I gotta take care of that.

Oh, here we are.
Here we are.

Yeah, uh, I guess a guy broke in,
and what happened?
You took some potshots at him,

or something?

Columbo, you're marvelous...

transparent, but marvelous.

You just happened
to run across this report?

Well, uh, it didn't just happen.
I'd forgotten all about it.

I did take a couple of shots,
but all I hit was a pile of dirt
over there.

I scared me
more than I scared the prowler.

Well, you know, with all
the glass you got here,
and the prices the way they are,

it's a good thing you shot low,
believe me.

Well, I confess.
Now I have to change
and get to work.

Confess to what, sir?

To having an unregistered weapon
somewhere in the house.

- That's what you're
leading up to, isn't it?
- Oh, no, sir. Oh, no, not at all.

Listen, if I arrested everybody
with an unregistered weapon
in Los Angeles,

believe me, I'd have half
the population in jail.

Then why are you here,
Columbo?

Oh! Geez!

This is magnificent.
I asked you a question.

I'm sorry, sir. I happen
to love this game.

I played it when I was a kid
and this is such a beautiful table.

I'm sorry, sir.
I didn't mean to hold you up.

You know, in my house,
I don't have room for a table
in my basement...

even if I could afford one.

Uh, I've got these
pictures here, sir.

Uh, these were taken
with a starlight scope.

That's a new camera.
It's a very sophisticated
instrument.

I'd like you to take a look at 'em.

Uh, you know, since you were
right there. Right on the spot,
so to speak.

Where were these pictures
taken from?

Oh, way down at the bottom of the hill.
They don't show very much,
which is kind of funny too.

You don't mind, do you?

What was kind of funny too?

Uh...

Eh, not as rusty
as I thought I was.

Uh, what's funny is that, um,

the place where they asked you
to deliver the ransom,

you know, way up on top
of the hill like that there...

I mean, it's almost as though
they wanted to have a place
that was exposed...

in order to be photographed.

What do you think?
I think it's very odd.

So do I.
I think this whole case is odd.
You know what I mean?

I mean, you got those skid marks
and you got the bullet hole.

I'll tell ya, in most cases,
you don't have any clues.

Gee, I can't miss a shot.

In this case, I got so many clues,
I don't know where to start.

You know, it's almost like
they put 'em there
just on purpose.

You're the detective.
Don't ask me for your answers.

Oh, I can't miss a shot.
Isn't that wonderful?

Um, oh, there is one thing
that I did wanna ask you, sir.

You know what this whole game is?
It's all in the wrist.
You just gotta keep that loose.

Uh, what I wanted to ask you was,
uh, why do you think, uh,

they asked you to deliver the money
instead of the wife?

Because they probably knew
that if Catherine had
that much money in the car,

she'd just keep on driving.

Uh-huh. I wonder how
they knew that.

[Phone Rings]

Yes?

It's for you, Columbo.

Oh! I told them I was gonna be here.
I hope you don't mind, sir.

Hello. Yeah, Columbo.

I'll be there as soon as I can.

- We've got some very bad news, sir.
- What?

They found your nephew's body.
He's been murdered.

[Clears Throat] Yeah.
According to
the coroner's intern,

the bullet, apparently,
went directly through the heart,

fired at extremely close range,
as indicated by the gunpowder traces.

Total envelopment of the body
by rigor mortis,

which is, of course, you know, sir,
fixed to the time of death
at about 10 to 12 hours ago.

The caliber of the bullet
still to be determined,
following the autopsy.

Uh, remove the body, men.
Is that all right with you, sir?

Pronto.
Snap to it. Move it.

Call me soon as you've
got it loaded. I'll come along.

I want that autopsy report
quick as I can get it, sir.

Lieutenant.

Lieutenant, as you've
probably noticed,

there are three cups,
three plates, three different
brands of cigarettes.

That means there were
two persons here
besides the victim.

That's obvious.
Yeah...

Awfully obvious.

[Columbo]
I understand you were
his receptionist for awhile.

Who told you?

Well, his wife sort of mentioned it...
uh, mentioned your name...

Her? I can just imagine.

Strike that from the record.
Oh, sure.

Don't worry about it.
[Sniffles]

That's a good picture of Tony
right there, isn't it?

Oh, I know what you're thinking.

The secret love life
of the murdered man, huh?

[Sniffles]
Well, we sort of like
to contact people who knew him,

regardless in what way,
and I understand that you two
have been acquainted for a good...

Well, you get this straight,
Lieutenant. There was no love affair.

I don't care who told you what,
there just wasn't any.

Well, did you see him?

Miss West,
I'm not here to hurt ya.

And I believe everything you tell me.
I just think you can help me,

and I'd appreciate it
if you would cooperate.

Now, why did he come here
at night?

His wife played around.

So, he'd come here
and he'd tell her so.

Half to try to make her jealous,
and half to show her that...

he didn't really care
that she played around.

Care? He cared, all right.

He'd sit here...
right where you are now... talk.

Did he talk a lot about money?

I mean, lately.
Maybe, uh...

He was always going broke
from his allowance
from some trust thing, I guess.

Did he talk about that...
that trust fund?

[Sighs]
Well, how should I know?

When Tony was drinking...
It's like the other night...

No.

Nope.
What about the other night?

No, I said. Look, Tony's dead now.
Why should people...

Miss West, believe me,

it's a lot better for you
to tell me something now,

then to have to tell it
in front of a jury later on.

In front of what?
I'm not tryin' to scare ya,

and I believe everything
you tell me...

I mean, about the love affair...
I belive everything.

I think you're
a very honest person.

Thanks.
Now, what about
the other night?

[Sighs]

Well, there's this gentleman
that his wife was getting
serious about.

I don't know who.
Tony said he made a living
getting a suntan...

whatever that is.

And then,
about three nights ago,

Tony came in here and he said
everything's gonna be okay...

because...

- Because why?
- Because the gentleman had agreed...

to go away and not to see
Tony's wife ever again if...

if Tony...

if Tony gave him $50,000.

Where was he gonna get the $50,000?
Did he tell you that?
Well, how should I know?

I mean, I was just tryin'
to pour coffee in him.

Honest, sir, I just don't know
any more than that.

Gloria, in your opinion,

was Tony the kind of man
that would arrange
for a fake kidnapping?

Arrange for what?
A fake kidnapping.

To raise the money
in order to break that trust.

Because if he did,
whoever helped him do it
might be the man who killed him.

Oh, look,

l-l-I mean, I said he wasn't
a very strong person,

but then, who is?

I mean, look at me.
I eat carbohydrates all the time.

Please, sir, leave me alone now.

Stop asking me about Tony.

See, I just never met another man
my whole life...

who only wanted to talk.

I understand.
Thank you very much.

[Sniffles]

Hello, sir. Is this you,

Mr. Goodland, to whom I speak?

[Cathy]
I still do not understand you,
Lieutenant.

Just what is it
that you're trying to imply?

Nothing, ma'am.
It's just that you've been
hard to locate at various times.

Uh, oh.

You still don't approve
of my lifestyle, do you?

I told you before,
I really don't care
what you think.

It's about time.
Where'd he come from?

Homicide, of course.
Oh, they handle morals now.

- He's objecting to the places I go.
- No, ma'am, that's not true.

Uh, look, Lieutenant Columbo,
this is, uh...

this is her boat, but it's me
that brought her down here.

Take her away from the house,
give her a change of thoughts.

Well, listen, I think that's
a terrific idea. It's such
a great day for sailing...

I mean, if you like boats.
It's just the night of the murder.

- That's all I wanna ask about.
- Well, what about it, Lieutenant?

Well, sir, uh...
What's your first name?

- Ken.
- Ken, we have a very efficient officer.

His name is Freddie Wilson,
and he happened to report...

that Mrs. Goodland's car
was gone from the house...

about the same time
that her husband was killed.

So, you came down here
to accuse me of murder?
No, ma'am.

It's only that...

Well, you see, something new
has come up and, uh,

I have to get rid
of all these little things first.

I was out... with Ken.

We took a nice, long drive...

and you can make
whatever you like out of that.

My worry for Tony did not require
my staying around the house
until his return...

on pins or needles.

Yes, ma'am. Yes.
I mean, I figured that.

You know something,
Mrs. Goodland?

You're a very unusual person.

You're not a hypocrite,

and I'm not gonna bother you
anymore with these things.

Okay, Charlie, let's cast off.

Oh, there's one little thing, um...

You know, this is gonna sound
kind of silly, I guess.

Take it for what it's worth.

You see, somebody tried to convince me
that you had a lover, Mrs. Goodland.

Not only that, this person,
Gloria West... Young girl,
that was her name, Gloria West.

Anyway, she said that, uh,
this mysterious lover of yours,

some guy with a deep suntan,

that he'd go away and get out
of your life forever...

if your husband gave him
$50,000.

I'm sure it's just
malicious gossip.

I probably shouldn't
have mentioned it.

However,

for what it's worth.

[Doorbell Chimes]

[BellJingling]

[BellJingling]

Mr. Goodland.

[Ringing]

Mr. Goodland.
Ah, Miss West.

I'm sorry I couldn't
meet you sooner.

You said you wanted
to speak to me alone.

Yes, sir. It's a...
It's... Oh.

Gee, it's kind of spooky
in here, isn't it?

You don't like orchids?
Oh, really,
they're my favorite corsage.

Indeed! You said something
on the phone about seeing
Tony the other night.

Yes, sir, and since
you're his relative...

and you've been so polite
the couple of times we've met...

Anyway, this detective
came to call this afternoon.
Oh.

Rumpled raincoat?
Rumpled face?
That's him.

A lieutenant!

Of course, I didn't
tell him everything...

about Tony and me,
I mean.

And some of it I didn't
even think of until later.

- Some of what, Miss West?
- Well, I think that...

he thinks that maybe
Tony's kidnapping...

wasn't a real kidnapping at all.

I beg your pardon?
Like, maybe, Tony did it himself...

to try to get some money
out of his trust fund.

And, as a matter of fact,
Tony did mention to me...

that he might be able
to get me a new car pretty soon.

And you believed his usual
drunken promises?

Uh, well, no,
not really, I guess.

Tell me more
about Columbo's little theory.

I suppose my nephew
also murdered himself.

No! That was whoever
helped Tony, I guess,

and now that person has got
all that ransom money too.

Mm, it sounds quite absurd to me.

Tell me, why did you come to me
with all this nonsense?

Oh, but it's not, maybe,
because I also remembered...

Well, a long time ago...
Oh, gosh, over a year ago...

Tony told me...
Well, see, on the radio
I heard that Tony was killed...

by a bullet
from a.3 2-caliber gun.

Yes?
Well, a long time ago,
like I said,

Tony told me he had a.3 2
that he'd given away,

and I remember now
who he told me he gave it to.

And who was that, Miss West?
His wife.

Well, don't you see
how that fits?

Maybe she and Tony
planned the kidnapping together.

I bet she never even got
that threatening phone call
she told the police about.

So, after the ransom was paid,
she brought in her boyfriend
and killed him...

Uh, Tony, I mean,
not the boyfriend.

And so they split the ransom
and she gets the estate...

and nobody's the wiser,
except me.

And, now, me.
But why me rather
than the police?

Oh, I don't know.
I always feel funny
around policemen.

And, anyway, it's you who's
in charge ofTony's trust, isn't it?

In conjunction with the bank,
yes.

Well, the radio says
there will be a reward...

for whoever gets
that ransom money back...

$30,000 reward...
and I'm claiming it.

I'm gonna help put that
woman in prison and get paid
$30,000 for it too.

I'm sure you will, my dear.
And you're quite right
about the police,

especially that stupid lieutenant.

Now, why don't you let me
handle things for awhile, hmm?

Oh, well, but you won't
forget about me, will ya?

I mean, the reward.
Miss West,
I'll never forget you.

Now, you just run along
while I make some phone calls,

and when the time comes
for you to give your information
to the proper authorities,

I'll be in touch.
Thank you.

[Sheets Rustling]

[Sighs]

[Sirens Wailing In Distance]

[Sirens Approaching]

[Car Door Closes]

- [BellJingling]
- Mr. Goodland, sir,
I came over as quickly as I could.

As soon as I received your message.
Thank you, Sergeant.
Thank you.

I heard your sirens
from quite a ways off.

Now, I would appreciate it
if you would hand this gun
to your ballistics experts.

I rummaged around for quite
some time this evening,

and I finally found it
in a wall safe in my bedroom.

Uh, I don't understand.
Well, you see,

when I told your
Lieutenant Columbo...

that I'd owned a.3 2, but I hadn't
seen it for several months,

he immediately leapt to accusations
that that possibly could be the gun
that killed my nephew.

Now, I resent that implication,
Sergeant.

Well, sir,

different officers do have
their different methods.

I must say, the lieutenant's
investigatory procedures do differ
somewhat from my own.

Well, that speaks very well
for you, Sergeant Wilson.
Well, thank you very much.

Now, I've heard things which cast
an entirely different light
on my nephew's death.

Things so incredible
I can hardly believe them.

Let's go into the house,
shall we?

Now, I feel it my duty to...

tell these things as I see them.

How do you want your chili,
Lieutenant, with or without beans?

Last night I had it with beans?
Right.

Have it without beans...
variety.
All right.

Lieutenant,
what are you doing here?
Just ordering some chili.

Would you excuse us, please?

Sir, didn't you get my report
on theJarvis Goodland statement?

Yes. I found that
very interesting.

Very interesting.
That gun he gave you,

checked out okay
with Ballistics, huh?

Sure. Of course.

Sir, uh, he's cracked
the case for us.

I have a search warrant
and two units right here
ready to go.

If we turn Catherine Goodland's
place upside down, I guarantee you
we'll find that murder weapon.

We'll find it.
You really think so?

Well, unless she's already
gotten rid of it.
Tell you what.

You go ahead.

Go ahead on your own.
You find anything,
you let me know.

Well, sir, if you don't mind
my taking charge for a moment.
Not at all.

Thank you, sir.
Good luck to you.

Charlie, pull 'em out!
[Engines Starting]

Who's that?
Wilson?

Oh, very nice fella.

Been a big help to me
on this case.

[Voices On Police Radio,
Indistinct]

You needn't have bothered
about a search warrant, Sergeant.

All you had to do was to ask.

The pistol's right here
where I always keep it.

Would you take it out
for us, please?
[Chuckles]

Well, it isn't here.

I can see that.

Well, this can't be.

I saw it last night and I haven't
opened this drawer since then.

What's this all about, Sergeant?

The murder of your husband,
Mrs. Goodland.

Grover, bring in the troops.

[Beeping]

Jarvis, what do you want?

I was concerned about you,
my dear.

Have you called your lawyer?
[Wilson]
Mrs. Goodland?

Oh, I'm glad to see
that you're here.
She may need someone.

Mrs. Goodland,
you recognize this?

Well, yes, it was Tony's.

- And this?
- Tony's.

And how about this?
The ransom bag.

Well, it certainly looks like it.
Good heavens, Cathy.

- I don't get it.
- Well, it was under a pile
of Christmas decorations...

in the storage closet.

Mrs. Goodland, I think
it's my duty to inform you...
Nowjust a moment.!

In all fairness to the lady,
when I said that looked like
the ransom bag,

that didn't mean I could
positively identify it.

It's a very common type.
But, sir, it answers the description
in every particular...

- Nevertheless, we must be sure.
- We?

Sir, if there's anything else
here at all, I'll find it.

Grover, back upstairs.

Excuse me.

[Beeping]

Sergeant, for my money,
that pistol is long gone.

Grover, you and I know that
a pro drops the gun immediately,

but we're dealing with amateurs.

I'm guessing that
they're gonna hide the gun
somewhere close by.

Nothing.
Nothing. Nothing.

What about this area over here.
Did you go over this?

We've been through it
twice already, Sergeant.
Well, go over it again.

[Beeping]
Come on. Let's go.

[Beeping Rapidly]
What's that?

Shoes with metal trees
in them, Sergeant.
That's all.

That's what's making
the buzzing.
Okay.

Look, there's a linen closet
out in the hall.
Go check over that.

- Wait a minute.
Did you open all of these?
- No, sir, there was no point in it.

Well, let's open them.

Hold it.

Hmm.
[Chuckles]

Grover.

Crime lab. Pronto. Have Ballistics
check the pistol against the two bullets
they've got, then call me, understand?

Don't you want me to check
with Lieutenant Columbo?
I'm in charge here, Grover.

If that's the murder weapon,
I'll take Mrs. Goodland into custody.
Step on it.

[Slaps Back]
[Mouths Words]

[Crashing]

[Rattling]

What the devil
are you doing here?

Oh, just sort of killing time,
looking around.

You know, sir, I could...
I could turn into a real orchid fancier
since I met you.

Will you tell me
what you're doing here?

It's very serious, sir.

There's been a new
development in the case.
Yes, I know.

They found the murder weapon
in Cathy's house.
I just came from there.

Things certainly
look bad for her.
They certainly do, sir.

That's why I'm waiting here
for the lab report.

I'm hoping to straighten
a few things out.

Look, it's 3:00 in the morning,
Lieutenant. Will you tell me
what you're doing here?

I bumped over this empty pot
and displaced some of the soil here.
I'm sorry about the mess, sir.

- I'll see to it that it gets cleaned up.
- Look, forget that!

Will you tell me why you're here?

To tell you the truth, sir,
I didn't expect you back so soon.

Oh!

Don't wanna forget this.

- You have a real green thumb, sir.
- I what?

This African violet of my wife's,

you know there's actually
a flower growing out of there.

Now, I don't know what you did,
but whatever it was, that's a miracle.

Lieutenant, it's been
a trying evening...

and I'm quite distressed.

Now, will you please take
your African violet
and get out of here!

[Car Approaching]
Wait a minute.
I hear something.

[Car Door Opens]

That could be the man
I'm waiting for.

Grover!

Grover, is that you?
Lieutenant, I don't understand.

I was halfway downtown
with Mrs. Goodland
when we were ordered back here.

I'm sorry, Sergeant,
I didn't mean to run you
around town like that.

Mrs. Goodland, how are you?
You must be exhausted.

Would you like to sit down?
No. No, I'll stand.
Thank you.

Uh, let me get you a chair.

You'll be more comfortable.
I know you've been up all night.

Well, I think they'll be
plenty of time to rest in jail,
don't you?

Sergeant, has this lady
actually been arrested?

Well, l, uh... Sir, I phoned my report
into Captain Ritchie.

He was quite complimentary.
She'll be charged, as soon as we...

No, Sergeant.
No. Mrs. Goodland...

Damn it, Columbo!
What's this all about?

Well, you see, sir, I'm waiting here
for some things from Headquarters.
If you'll all just bear with me.

What sort of things?
[Grover]
Lieutenant.!

- Lieutenant Columbo.!
- Oh.

Oh. Here you are, Lieutenant.
Thank you. Thank you very much.

Excuse me for just a moment.

Yes. I have some bullets here.

This one is from the wrecked car.

A.3 2-caliber, proven by Ballistics...

to have been fired
from the murder weapon.

This one is from the body
of the victim,

also.3 2-caliber,
and proven by Ballistics...

to have been fired
from the same weapon
as the first bullet.

We know all about that.
Tell him, young man.

Both... Both of those
came from the gun
that was found in her house.

And Sergeant Grover
said they confirmed it
as the murder weapon.

Right. That's quite right.

Sergeant, I don't want you
to feel badly,

because without you,
I'd never have gotten this idea.

I mean, those technical things
that you're so good at.

You see,

I've never used
a metal detector before.

That's why it took me
nearly an hour.

But, you know,
these things really work.

Amazing.

You see that?

- What is it?
- Third bullet.

Also a.3 2-caliber,
and also proven by Ballistics...

to have been fired
by the same weapon...

that fired the first two bullets.

Mr. Goodland, I just don't know
how you're gonna explain this.

But why should I have to...

That's right.

That's right, sir.
That's what I was doing over there
a little while ago.

I found this third bullet...

buried here in this pile of dirt.

I guess it was one of those bullets
that you fired at that guy
who broke in here a year ago.

You said you only hit dirt.

I don't know
how you're gonna explain, sir,

how the same gun that fired
this bullet in the dirt,

ended up tonight
in Mrs. Goodland's dressing room.

Sergeant, would you take
Mr. Goodland downtown, please?

Mr. Jarvis Goodland,
it's my duty to inform you
that anything you... you might...

This way sir.

[Sighs]

Mrs. Goodland,
would you allow me
to drive you home?

[Laughs]
Thank you, Lieutenant.

Oh! One moment.

If I forget this,
my wife will kill me.