Original subtitles

♪ Who's the improbable duo That you heard about?

♪ Faster than a scooter Stronger than metal

♪ Who's the little girl And her domesticated rodent?

♪ Who's still standing When you see The dust settle?

♪ It's Hamster Hamster, Hamster

♪ Hamster and Gretel

♪ If they can't do it Then nobody can

♪ Hamster, Hamster, Hamster

♪ Hamster and Gretel

♪ There's also Kevin In the minivan ♪

NORDLE: Dad,

why did you have to make my science project for me?

PROFESSOR EXCLAMATION: Son, it's not your fault

that you were only born very smart,

not very, very, very, very smart, as your mother and I had hoped.

But how am I going to learn if you keep building things for me?

PROFESSOR EXCLAMATION: Nordle, what is the point of school?

To win! To crush! Destroy and conquer!

To set myself on a path

of world domination!

PROFESSOR EXCLAMATION: Now, that's my boy!

Here's the laser, here's the induction coil.

And don't drop this plutonium. You'll vaporize everyone in a 2-mile radius.

Have a great science fair, son.

Bye, Dad.

Ah, they grow up so fast. Especially when you alter their DNA.

Gretel, you can lift a school bus over your head.

Why do you need me to carry this?

So I can make a grand entrance

with my magnificent baking soda volcano. Duh.

(MIMICKING ANNOUNCER) Let's get ready to science fair!

♪ Did you wanna see Crystals growing In a glass of sugar water?

♪ Or wonder which is faster A beaver or an otter?

♪ You're impacted By the attraction Of a magnetic field

♪ In this auditorium It will all will be revealed

♪ And if you're a fan Of chemical reactions Then say no more

♪ I think we've got A baking soda volcano For your perusal

♪ And if you want more

♪ Just take a look around And there are 34

♪ At the science fair

Potato batteries. A volcano!

♪ At the science fair

KID: Balloon race cars! And volcanos!

♪ We've got all the answers For which you strive

♪ You might even see Volcano number 35

It's almost done, it's almost done!

♪ Yes, knowledge is in the air At the science fair ♪

Aw, man, there are like 34 baking soda volcanoes here.

Almost 35. (WHIMPERS) The paint won't dry.

(SIGHS) I worked really hard on this.

The science fair is about personal growth.

The only person you need to compare yourself to is you.

Yu? You mean, Yu Yorgenson?

(CROWD EXCLAIMS, CLAPPING)

Wow, that is really impressive.

Nice pep talk. Thanks, Kevin.

Hi, Gretel. Hi, Kevin.

Wow, look at all the projects in here.

My project is about fish. Flatfish, actually.

When most people hear flatfish, they think halibut.

But, there are a lot of other flatfish, like flounder, turbot...

See, Bailey's project is more interesting than mine,

and it's about pancakes with eyes.

Remember, it's not about winning, it's about having fun.

Oh, I gotta go to class. Remember, have fun!

Nice baking soda volcano. Not!

You see what I did there? I made my compliment

into an insult by negating it. (GRUNTS IN SATISFACTION)

(CLICKS) (MACHINE WHIRRING)

Oh, yeah? Well, you're gonna be disappointed when I win.

You're not gonna win with a baking soda volcano.

Oh, this? This is just a decoy to throw everyone off.

My real project is, um,

the exact opposite of a baking soda volcano.

What does that even mean?

Wouldn't you like to know?

Okay, what's the opposite of a volcano?

Well, this is sort of... (AIRPLANE WHOOSHING)

Jim's lattes are the best.

Mmm. He puts a little bit of nutmeg on top

and bam! Perfection!

(GRUNTS) Where am I gonna find a science project

that's the opposite of a volcano?

Oh, that works.

Hmm. How am I gonna get this into the gym

without anyone seeing my powers?

(TYPING ON PHONE)

(TRUCK REVERSING ALARM)

Thanks, Ernie's Glacier and Iceberg Moving Company.

Four stars.

Wow, look at those sulphate levels.

This ice must be at least 5,000 years old.

(SIGHS) This is going to be hard to beat.

What do you think now, Mr. Snobby Pants?

Leave my pants out of this.

It's the opposite of a volcano.

See? Because it's a mountain of ice, not lava.

I gotta say, I'm really impressed.

Not! It just is a tall, pointy ice cube.

Everyone else seems to like it.

(CROWD GASPING)

(IN ACCENT) Oh, this is the first time I have felt at home

in this depressingly flat country.

Well, luckily for me, this is a science fair,

and not a popularity contest.

Hmm. Is this your project,

young man? Yes.

It's called "Solving The World's Energy Problems."

The laser will ignite this sphere of liquid hydrogen,

causing a sustained fusion reaction

creating almost limitless energy.

None of this baking soda volcano baloney.

Ready? Let's make some fusion.

I trademarked that, by the way. You can't say it.

Let's make some fusion.

You'll be hearing from my lawyer.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) (CLICKS)

(MACHINE POWERING UP)

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

(CROWD GASPING)

(CROWD GASPING, APPLAUDING)

I'll take my trophy now, please.

(RATTLING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

Oh, no, my glacier!

Back to the flatlands.

BOY: Wow!

I present my actual project,

a really hairy, old elephant.

It's a mammoth.

A really hairy, old mammoth.

(ALL GASP)

(ALL EXCLAIMING) (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)

(ROARING)

A really angry, hairy old mammoth,

that is inexplicably alive. (CRASHES)

(TRUMPETING)

(SCREAMING)

My actual, actual project,

a laser mammoth.

TV ANNOUNCER: Laser Mammoth! Now no longer extinct.

(ROARING)

My mammoth! My laser!

My flatfish!

Is perfectly fine.

Nordle, just stay here, and I'll use my powers...

(HESITATING) ...of persuasion to bring them back.

Oh, right, so you can destroy my laser, and win.

I'm coming with you.

Nordle, I promise you, it'll be a lot faster

if you let me go by myself.

No way, we're both going.

(SIREN BLARING) Oh, fine! Bailey, stall

How? Flatfish.

They're fascinating, aren't they?

Did you know they have both eyes on one side of their body?

Come on. Hey! Wait up!

(CROWD CLAMORING) (TRUMPETING)

(CRASHES) (MAN SCREAMING)

Hold on, I'm gonna call for some backup.

(LINE RINGING) Come on, Hamster.

Pick up, pick up!

He's a hamster. What can he be doing?

WOMAN ON TV: And bend, and twist. And bend, and twist!

Now, rake the leaves!

(SIGHS IN EXASPERATION) (ROARING)

My mammoth is gonna destroy the city!

Hey! It's my laser that's destroying the city.

Okay, fine. Your laser is more dangerous than my mammoth.

You win. Yes!

We've gotta corner him. Don't worry.

I've got everything under control.

Here, mammoth! Here, boy!

Oh, that's not gonna... (ROARS)

GRETEL: Oh, I guess it did work.

A little too well!

Ah, you scuffed my blazer.

Nordle, if we don't get back soon,

neither of us is gonna win.

We've got to work together.

(EXCLAIMS IN FRUSTRATION)

In spite of my determination never to admit

anyone else is right, ever...

...you're right. What's the plan?

(TRUMPETS)

Um, what if he's not hungry?

He hasn't eaten for 5,000 years.

I think he's hungry.

(ROARING)

GRETEL: Mammoth!

Look at these nice cheeseburgers. Yum! Yum, yum, yum.

Don't eat them all! Good note. Nordle!

Now! (GRUNTS)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

We did it!

Oh, no! My laser!

I'm never gonna win now.

My dad's gonna be so disappointed.

And I'll never get a new blazer.

Hey, it's not about winning and losing.

It's about having fun and learning something.

Well, we did learn that mammoths

are extremely violent creatures.

And that lasers are fragile.

And since my project destroyed your project,

maybe we can be partners and both be winners.

Both be winners?

Well, it has the word "winner" in it,

so, I'm on board.

We need to get the mammoth back to school.

(KEYPAD BEEPING) I know someone who can help us...

(MUFFLED) ...if he'll answer his stupid phone.

(GRUNTING)

Nom nom, I know.

(CRACKLING) (CELL PHONE RINGING)

GRETEL: Hamster, I need you and your welding torch.

And so, in conclusion,

flatfish have the potential to become an important

food source for the... (METAL SCRAPING) Ladies and gentlemen,

Nordle and I present our joint project,

"How To Get A Mammoth Out Of A Glacier Using A Laser."

We'll take our first prize now.

No, you'll take your second prize now,

because the first prize goes to Bailey!

(CROWD APPLAUDING) I never knew

that flatfish could be so fascinating!

Well, we didn't win first place,

but we had, what I think, is fun.

I'm not sure, because I've never had it before.

Yeah, that was definitely fun.

In fact, I think it was better than winning.

You got some crazy ideas, Gretel Grant-Gomez.

Ms. Grant-Gomez, you're being sued

for trademark infringement,

over the phrase, "Let's make some fusion."

No, Phil! Phil! It's okay, we worked it out.

I still have to bill you for this.

Until we meet again, Gretel.

Well, won't that be tomorrow, when school starts?

Yes.

Father, I won second prize!

And I think I made a friend.

You mean, you lost first prize,

which is the only prize you can win.

I never had any friends,

and I turned out just fine.

Now come along. Wait.

Who's that blond girl standing next to that superhero Hamster?

Oh, that's my new friend, Gretel.

Gretel. Gretel.

No, the only Gretel I know is the superhero.

But this girl looks so familiar.

Ah, no matter.

I'll figure it out eventually.

Now, what am I gonna do with you?

I can't believe you built a mammoth theme park

without anything that looks like a mammoth!

(TRUMPETS)

I'm waiting for an apology.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0