Original subtitles

Detective Snowball,

you blew up four squad cars, two helicopters, and a bridge.

(MEOWS)

Why is the Captain so hard on Detective Snowball?

He gets results.

ANNOUNCER: More Detective Snowball after these messages.

♪ When you've Just moved out of bed

♪ And you've already Got the munchies

♪ Taco Crunchies Taco Crunchies

♪ Taco Crunchies

ANNOUNCER: Taco Crunchies. When you like your tacos

sweet and drenched in milk.

Great. Now that jingle's gonna be stuck in my head for three days.

It's really catchy.

Not as catchy as that Big, Big World song

on that ride at Giddy Land.

♪ It's a big, big world

♪ But there's lots and lots of us

♪ If it was any smaller

♪ We would be superfluous

Stop. No!

I thought we agreed to never speak of this song again.

Sorry, I forgot.

It's the worst earworm song ever written.

I'll tell you what song I wouldn't mind

ear worming inside of my brain.

(GASPING) Our song?

♪ Before my eyes discovered yours

♪ I searched both land and sea

Ah, mi amor, that is so beautiful.

That's a solid five star cringe.

But you got the lyrics wrong.

It is "Before my eyes uncovered warts,

"they searched the grandest tree."

(LAUGHING)

"My eyes uncovered warts." Are you joking?

No, it's like "I love you, warts and all."

It's romantic.

I think this might be our cue to... Good night.

And they searched the grandest tree?

Well, when you have warts on your eyes,

what other kind of tree would you search?

I'm gonna put on a pot of coffee.

We're gonna be here all night.

(SPOOKY MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ When you've just got out of bed

♪ And you've already got the munchies

♪ Taco Crunchies Taco Crunchies

♪ Taco Crunchies

♪ When you've just got out of bed

♪ And you've already got the munchies

♪ Taco Crunchies Taco Crunchies

♪ Taco Crunchies

Welcome to Winky's.

I just pulled these donuts out of the oven.

They're vegan. Just kidding.

(CHUCKLES) They're full of meat.

What can I get ya?

Beef and sprinkles? Lamb and chocolate?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

What are you doing? And why you singing about tacos?

Hey, get back here, you doughnut nappers!

(LAUGHS) That is not the way it goes.

I think we should just agree to disagree.

I can't believe I overslept.

Grab a banana and let's get out of here before they get to the chorus.

How do eyes hook a dove?

I don't know. Ask the guy who wrote the song.

(POP MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

VERONICA: This is Veronica Hill

interrupting your terrible choice in music

with a special report that is far beneath my pay grade.

There's been a robbery at Winky's Donuts on 3rd.

I'm here with the owner now.

Winky, what did you see?

WINKY: It looked like a little blond girl

and a prairie dog. And they were flying.

So, uh, did you and Hamster

rob a doughnut shop last night?

Why would we rob a doughnut shop?

Hey! Hey, Hamster!

Did we rob a doughnut shop last night?

No, but I had a dream about a giant snake.

Probably 'cause I'm a hamster.

KEVIN: Uh, what's that in your hair?

Huh, looks like sprinkles. Weird.

I think Hamster and Gretel robbed a doughnut shop in their sleep last night.

Okay, that's irrational and needs a sane response.

Hold that thought.

Do you have anything that resembles a vegetable in that cauldron?

Have you seen price of arugula?

And this morning she had sprinkles in her hair.

Maybe she needs a new shampoo.

And the doughnut guy said it looked like

a little blond girl and a prairie dog.

And he said they were flying.

You could have led with that.

But that doesn't mean anything.

Didn't we just fight a little girl with a rocket powered gerbil?

Yeah, I guess.

Keep me posted if anything else happens.

(SPOOKY MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ When you've Just got out of bed

♪ And you've already got the munchies

♪ Taco Crunchies Taco Crunchies

Hey, bring those back! Those aren't yours!

EARWORM: Good work, small minions.

You have mastered doing my tedious errands.

Tomorrow night, we take it up a notch

and make me rich enough to move out of this barren,

abandoned warehouse. (LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

♪ When you've just got out of bed

♪ And you've already got the munchies ♪

I assume Hamster and Gretel

didn't steal any baked goods last night.

Not that I know of.

The sprinkles in her hair are probably from a cookie.

(TV NEWS ANNOUNCEMENT MUSIC PLAYING)

This is Veronica Hill,

inexplicably interrupting a Saturday morning cartoon with a special report,

because clearly someone at the network hates me.

Last night, two thieves, stole some clothes from a dry cleaners.

Witnesses say it appeared to be a little blond child

with a small, stoic hedgehog.

The two were seen flying away,

not unlike my once illustrious career.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

(YAWNING)

What?

Gretel, is that a dry cleaning receipt on your shirt?

Oh, I guess it is.

I had a weird dream about a giant cobra.

KEVIN: I don't get it. Could they be sleep stealers?

Like sleepwalkers, except they're stealing.

Why would they even do that?

Deep seated resentment of capitalism? I don't know.

KEVIN: And why are they both dreaming about snakes?

They're leaving!

♪ When you've just got out of bed Let's go!

♪ And you've already got the munchies

(TRACKER BEEPING)

♪ Taco Crunchies Taco Crunchies

♪ Taco Crunchies ♪

What are they doing?

(GLASS SHATTERING)

(ALARM RINGING)

No way! I can't believe it!

They're really robbing a bank?

I guess doughnuts are the gateway to a life of crime.

What is going on?

♪ Taco Crunchies Taco Crunchies

♪ Taco Crunchies ♪

EARWORM: Put the money in the safe.

And after that, make me some blueberry pancakes.

Being suddenly rich has made me peckish.

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

Gretel, are you in here?

It's Kevin and Fred.

Why are you making pancakes?

EARWORM: They're making me pancakes.

BOTH: Ahhh! A giant cobra!

Who, or what are you?

And what have you done to Hamster and Gretel?

(LAUGHING MALICIOUSLY)

I am...

(CLICKS)

...the Earworm.

♪ The Earworm Earworm

Okay, costume's a little on the nose.

♪ It's kind of on the nose ♪

Anyway, I've been testing Hamster and Gretel's ability

to follow my orders by having them do my errands,

using this remote control. (CLICKS)

Hamster! Gretel! Tie these two people up.

And bring me my blueberry pancakes.

♪ When you've just... ♪ Gretel, it's us!

KEVIN: Snap out of it.

(SCREAMING) Gretel!

Now go do the dishes and mop the floor.

Okay, wow. You can get her to do chores?

I can't even get her to listen to me. How are you doing this?

Mmm. It's a long story.

Would you like to hear it?

Not particularly. Yes. Sir.

We would love to hear your super long backstory.

Remember when Hamster and Gretel did that special appearance

on Tonight's The Night a few months ago?

A week before it taped,

I watched a hair styling tutorial online,

and got a job as a hair stylist on the show.

Once there, I retrieved their DNA.

After that, it was just a simple matter

of finding the sympathetic vibration of their specific DNA,

while at the same time, building up a new career

as a successful jingle writer.

I graduated summa cum laude

and I sold the catchy jingle to Taco Crunchie Cereal.

My plan was coming together.

I added hypnotic undertones to that jingle

that would only affect Hamster and Gretel.

And once that catchy tune gets stuck in their heads,

I just press this button and they do whatever I ask.

With their powers under my control,

I will finally achieve my goal

of being the richest and most successful person

in my cruel family of judgmental overachievers.

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

That was so not worth it.

Well, on the bright side,

I was able to call the cops with my nose

during that endless speech.

How dare you? Hamster! Gretel!

Fly those two out the window and drop them to their doom when I give the word.

♪ When you've just got out of bed... ♪

Gretel, you know how you never listen to me

and defiantly ignore everything I tell you to do?

Do that with the Earworm. Pretend he doesn't exist,

and that you know way more than he does.

Pretend that he's me!

That's just sad. Drop the teenagers. No, wait. I mean,

Set the teenagers gently on the...

They're being controlled by this earworm song

that's stuck in their head! What do we do?

Whenever I get a song stuck in my head

I try to think of a worse song to replace it.

(EARWORM SONG PLAYING) That's it!

♪ It's a big, big world

♪ But there's lots and lots of us

♪ If it was any smaller

♪ We would be superfluous

ALL: ♪ If we told you it was little

♪ We'd be disingenuous

♪ 'Cause we know that it's a big...

We need backup.

(ENGINE REVS) (TIRES SCREECH)

(ALL SINGING ALONG) EARWORM: No! Not that song!

That's the only earworm on the planet stronger than mine!

Drop them to their doom. Drop them now!

♪ ...not much to discuss

♪ 'Cause we know that it's a big, big, world

Key change!

♪ It's a big, big world

♪ But there's lots and lots of us

♪ 'Cause we know that it's a big, big, world ♪

KEVIN: Kick his butt, Gretel!

Kevin, what's happening?

Set us on the ground and go beat up the guy in the window,

and I'll explain it all later.

Why isn't this thing working?

I just put new batteries in. (CLICKING)

Why is he wearing an ear suit?

It's a little on the nose.

Uh-oh. I'm outta here.

KEVIN: And destroy the remote!

Stop! You will do as I say.

(SINGING) Taco Crunchies, Taco Crunchies.

Ta... Ahhh!

(PANTING)

(GRUNTS) (THUDS)

Yeah, I don't think punching is necessary here.

(TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING)

(SOBBING) No!

My cruel family of judgmental overachievers was right!

I'm a loser!

(SOBBING WHILE SINGING) ♪ Taco Crunchies Taco Crunchies

♪ Ta... ♪ (CRYING LOUDLY)

(FEEDBACK SCREECHES) Wanna tell us what happened here?

Sorry.

(SHOUTING) Do you wanna tell us what happened here?

Actually, it's a really long story,

but I'm sure Earworm would be happy

to give you a long winded explanation.

Remember when Hamster and Gretel did that special appearance...

(MUFFLED) on Tonight's The Night, a few months ago?

Carolina, if those were the actual lyrics to our song,

the songwriter would be in jail.

Well, maybe he's in jail.

You guys do realize that you can just

look up the lyrics online, right?

BOTH: What a great idea!

(TYPING)

I can't believe it.

It really is about warts on your eyes.

You were right! I told you.

And that makes me love it even more.

And that songwriter should go to jail.

I agree to agree, mi amor.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ Hamster and Gretel

♪ It's Hamster

♪ Hamster and Gretel

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