All language subtitles for RRRR.I.P.D.2022

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[western music playing]

[horse neighs]

[pickaxe digging in the distance]

[horse neighs]

[grunts]

I know you ain't done yet.

You say you're all used up,

but I know you still
got some gold left in ya.

[horse whinnies]

[grunts]

[rumbling]

[yelps]

[rumbling stops]

[yells]

What in tarnation…

[grunts, yells]

[wind blows]

[bells tolling]

[man] Howdy, Sheriff.

- [mimicking gunshots]
- Oh! You got me.

Morning.

[Charlotte] Daddy!

Look at you, sweetheart!
All bright and shiny, like a living doll.

Give us a twirl.

Whoo! Is this the wedding dress?
Can I have a sneak peek?

Don't be a cheat, Daddy.
You'll get a full preview

- on our big day.
- [Angus] Very soon now.

Can you at least try and make an effort?

Angus, I see you made
the return trip as well.

A wedding is generally

is between a woman
and a man, Sheriff Pulsipher.

Yes it is, and I can't wait
to meet that young man.

Okay, Daddy. [chuckles nervously]

Listen to me.

In five days, Angus will be of this family

whether you like it or not.

What I'd like to see is he's man enough

to take over the reins in protecting you.

I mean, is he any good
with a barking iron?

I want a husband, Daddy. Not a bodyguard.

You've taught me
how to take good enough care of myself.

He's taught me how to dissect
the words of Dostoyevsky

and he's introduced me to Dickens and Poe…

You're not even married yet,
and you're already meeting with lawyers?

Daddy, stop it.

Angus is a good soul who does
make me feel safe and secure,

but most of all, happy.

You're just afraid you won't be
the number one man in my life anymore.

Well, you got him well-trained,
Charlotte, that's for sure.

I'm right here.

[gunshots]

Inside.

[Zeke] Go get 'em, boys! Round them up!

[Roy] It's the Samuels.

[grunting]

Hurry it up, ladies. I ain't got all day.

Anybody other than me
comes through those doors, you shoot 'em.

[Zeke] Move it, move it!

Move it!

Daddy? Angus.

How happy does he really make you?

Daddy, go!

[gunfire continues]

You can come out now.

Go, go!

Move it!

Keep moving!

[Slim] First time I made it on a poster.

Hey! I'm handsome! [laughs]

- [gunshot]
- Hands up!

Come here.

Stay down. Go!

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts, body thuds]

[gunshot]

[retches, vomits]

[spits]

Don't mind. Happens to everyone.

It's a crazy ride getting here.

See?

I just saw the most…

[Hano] Beautiful,
bright light you ever did see?

That'd be Heaven.

Heading towards it
is a good sign for your future.

But you haven't made it there yet.

Hold on! Hold your damn horses.

Did you say Heaven?

I've read your file, Roy.

I know everything about you

and none of it says
you're hard of hearing.

- I'm dead?
- Mmm-hmm.

Charlotte? What about
my daughter, Charlotte?

Uh, hmm… Negative.

She's dead. She's dead. [sobs]

No, no. Negative is positive.

Negative means "not dead."

Negative means "not dead"?

That is very confusing. Change that.

But good.

She's got her wedding
at the end of the week.

It's in two days, actually.

[Roy] Come again?

You've been dead for three days.

It takes a while
for upstairs to ratify judgement

and send a soul to where it belongs.

You got sent to us.

Welcome to the RIPD.

The "RIP…" what?

"D." Stands for "department."

The "RIP" is your standard
"Rest in Peace."

I'm the captain
of the West American division.

Name's Hano.

See, we generally
only get soldiers, warriors and sheriffs

who dearly depart shuffled in here to us.

At least the ones deemed worthy enough

to serve on God's own police force
in the ongoing fight against the deados.

The what-os?

The deados.

Souls that escape
their judgment and hang around Earth

like the bad smell they are.

Our job is to find them

and send them to where
their ticket got punched.

Hmm?

Hell, Roy. We send them to Hell.

Heaven and Hell?

- Whoo!
- [Hano chuckles]

[Roy] So these souls
that escape their judgement in Hell

are what you call "deados."

Not yet. A soul, by its very definition,

is a spectral energy.

Disembodied, it's ineffectual.

To sow the havoc a rogue soul
desires it needs a body.

Wait. A human body?

Exactly.

And once it takes one over,
possesses it, if you will,

then it becomes a problem.

Our problem. It becomes a deado.

The more deados on Earth,
the more unbalanced the natural order,

threatening all human life.

I think you're really gonna like this.

Whoo-wee.

It's quite an impressive candy
store you got here.

[Hano chuckles softly]

[Roy] Oh, hello.

Ain't you purdy.

That's a very nice choice.

Oh… No, no, no. I can't be unfaithful.

When it comes to what
I wear on my hip, I'm a one-gun man.

Nothing comes between me and my Susie.

That's my gun.

I call her Susie.

I call her useless.

Especially against deados.

It'll stun them for a moment
or two, kind of like a nasty snake bite.

This, however, more than does the job.

With a head shot, these bullets
can exterminate a deado's soul.

And your own,

should the barrel
end up being pointed in your direction.

Whoa. Good to know.

What's with the, uh, hungry snake?

The Uroboros
signifies life, death and rebirth.

Deados may look
like real humans, but after possession,

that symbol is branded on their torso.

This is a reminder to all officers

of the constant threat we're up against.

Right. Cut to the chase. Why am I here?

Roy, do you remember
that total eclipse about a month ago?

Well, there was an abnormal
rupture at a gateway near Red Creek,

an old mining town in Utah.

"Abnormal," because it registered
with us as a kind of

hellish discharge.

I know an old quack back at home

who has a remedy for "hellish discharges,"
if you know what I mean.

Duly noted, but not
what we're looking for.

You, however, know that terrain
better than most.

You sign up, we'll get
you back to Earth right away

to check it all out.

Now, that's a carrot worth the dangle.

If I get to go back to Earth,
sign me up and count me in!

I know what's going on
in that noggin of yours, Roy.

Everyone in your position
thinks the same thing.

But revenge for your murder
is not the mission.

Getting to Red Creek is.

Let sleeping dogs lie.

You're a dead man.
Nothing we can do can change that.

Now, before you read and sign,

you should know the standard service term…

I already said I'm in.
Let's seal the deal.

- [spits]
- Oh!

Send me back.

[chuckles nervously]

[spits]

[groans]

You branded me like a damn steer.

Moo.

Now giddy up, cowboy. It's time to move.

- [thuds]
- Watch the …

Sorry. People got taller over time.

We'd like to replace it but, you know,

budgetary constraints.

The clock's ticking, Roy.

In two days, a blood moon will rise.

And in the Bible,
when that follows a blue moon eclipse,

it can only mean one thing.

A hoot of a time for astronomers?

The end of times.

Hmm.

[electricity crackling]

[retches]

[vomits]

What the…

Oh, fancy.

[rumbling]

[rumbling stops]

[exhales in relief]

[grunts]

Ow.

[Jeanne] That's
the good thing about dying.

It can only happen once.

You must be Sheriff Pulsipher.

In all my glory.

I have seen glory
and I don't think you are it.

Just who might you be?

[Jeanne] Jeanne.

The name is Jeanne.

[Roy] Listen, Jean, I don't do partners.

Hano charged me with looking after you,

and I don't go against orders.

I don't need no looking after.

And I don't need a fourth partner.

Four partners? Where are your other three?

Everywhere.

The Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.

Oh. Yeah, those three gun slingers?

They don't come in real handy
when you need backup in fire fight.

I don't need backup with a gun
when I'm unbeatable with a sword.

Let's make one thing clear.

I got seniority in this here arrangement.

I got at least 20 years on ya.

If we were alive.

But you have been dead for three days.

Me?

162,425.

Or 445 years.

How senior do you feel now?

- Hell with this. Hee-ya!
- [horse whinnies]

[Zeke] I ain't gonna ask you again.

- [people screaming]
- I said get in line.

Come on now, Daddy.

[bank manager]
No need to hurt me. I mean, us.

[stammering] I'll get you all
what I have in the safe.

We ain't here for your money.

This is a bank. What else do you want?

Them.

Yeah, we want people.

You got any of them in your safe?

'Cause, we'll take 'em all. Oh!

[bullet whizzes]

[Slim] I'm sorry about that.

You're about the sorriest
son-of-a-bitch we ever had the misfortune

- of getting stuck with.
- The law is coming.

God damn, they brought
the whole cavalry this time.

You three stay here. Hold them off.

- Catch back up with us later.
- Got it.

Damn it!

- Hee-ya!
- [horse whinnies]

[sniffles]

Oh.

[sighs softly]

[Jeanne] You don't need a partner,

and I don't need a stray dog, Roy.

Now let's go.

You're not gonna stop me
from seeing my daughter.

Now, listen.

[grunts]

That was unexpected.

[grunts] You know, I've never hit a woman.

But you come between me and my Charlotte,

there's gonna be hell to pay.

Faster than when you were alive, huh?

[groans]

[grunting]

[groans]

[grunting]

I can't let you go see her.

Why not?

Because you…

…aren't you anymore.

So this is me now?

To everyone on Earth, anyway.

[gasps]

Well, you always said I needed
to be more in touch

with my feminine side, Millie.

If you could only see me now.

Breaks my heart, my daughter
will never know me again.

The RIPD

gave you a second chance
to restore order to the world.

Not your old life.

That's why we don't return as ourselves.

It would be too confusing
for anyone who knew us.

This is 1876 America.

If you haven't noticed,
folks around these parts

ain't too broad-minded.

Few people are gonna talk to us,
let alone even listen to us,

looking the way we do.

Why do that?
Make our job that much harder?

Maybe the eternal one
thought you could learn a thing or two.

Walking in shoes
of those deemed less advantaged.

Come on, now. I have learned plenty.

My best friend is Black.

And my daughter is a woman.

Just because you know them,

does not mean you understand
what it's like to be them.

We'll say we're sisters.

Bounty hunters.

That should get us some respect.

I can't believe that this here body

is right there, buried, under my feet.

Well…

Well what?

It's true that part of you
was buried under there.

Part of me?

The parts they could find.
After you were shot.

I think buried here is a foot, a shoulder,

your ear, maybe, and your…

- My ass?
- Yes.

They found your ass, too.

Where is the rest of me?

In a cave, apparently.

- Some coyotes got to you, Roy.
- Some coyotes?

- They were hungry, and you were dead.
- Hungry coyotes?

I heard they had some small babies.

Small, hungry, baby coyotes.

So, you helped them survive.

It's a beautiful thing,

- to be a part of the food chain.
- Shut up.

- Circle of life…
- Stop talking.

- Where are you going, Roy?
- My skin might have changed,

but my heart and soul are still the same.

I know I can make
my daughter recognize me.

You can't communicate
with loved ones anymore either.

Anything you say to her…

Will only come out
as an incoherent gibberish.

So, not only will my daughter
not recognize me,

she won't understand a lick
of what I'm saying, either?

This is some bullshit.

- [man humming]
- [Roy grunts, exclaims]

I know exactly how you feel, ma'am.

I understand your pain.

It's good to let it all out.

You've come to pay your respects to
the late Sheriff, too, then?

I can't say I've seen you ladies
around these parts before.

- Do you know this man?
- That is Henry.

My friend I was talking about.

We've known each other
since we were knee-high.

[speaking gibberish]

Name's Matilde, Father.

And this here is my mute sister, Mabel.

We only met the Sheriff once.

He, uh, helped us
with our broken down wagon.

I must admit,
I didn't take much of a shine to him,

nor him to me.

In fact, he seemed quite
self-absorbed, if you ask me.

- [Roy coughs]
- The kind of man

that wanted to control
every situation he was in

no matter how
out of his depth he truly was.

But Mabel, well,

she seemed to think
he was something really special.

Well, we're all entitled
to our own points of view, I guess.

But I may have to side
with Miss Mabel over here on this one.

That man was special.

Far from perfect, of course.

- [Matilde] Hmm.
- But, special nonetheless.

I mean, was he a little arrogant?

No doubt.

- [Matilde snickers]
- Did he think that he had the answers

before the questions were even asked?

That was Roy, to a tee.

Pigheaded? Ha!

Stubborn as an ornery mule, more like it.

Boy, was Roy loyal.

To his family, this town, to me.

There is no one
you wanted more to have your back.

Makes me wonder how we're gonna
stand on our own two feet without him.

Especially against the evil
likes of them Samuels that did Roy in

and took poor Charlotte's fiancé,
amongst others.

Least they caught
three of them five reprobates

holding up a bank today.

Federal Marshals will be
transferring them to Laramie.

It's the hangman's noose
for them boys now.

- Mmm-mmm. No, no.
- They are moving them to Laramie.

They gotta pass through Snake Gully
and that's where we'll hit them.

No.

I have indulged
your little identity crisis.

But we must get to Red Creek.

Didn't you hear Henry?

The Samuels took Angus.

And that is an issue
for the Earthly authorities to solve,

not us.

Gateways, portals, deados.

That is your jurisdiction now, Officer.

Out of my way.

The world could be at stake
and you care only about saving one man.

Not just any man.

The man that makes my daughter
the happiest in the world.

And for me, my daughter is my world.

Was your world.

You are dead.

You'll get used to using the past tense.

Hey, Jenny, would you
go walk around on my grave?

With pleasure.

Wait, why?

'Cause if you're gonna be
such a pain in my ass,

you might as well be standing on it!

Goodbye, Mabel.

Take good care now.

Right. Mabel. [clicks tongue]

[Marshal] Settle down back there, boys.

Settle down.

[Jeanne] Stubborn as an ornery mule.

Well, if that isn't the understatement

of my many years of after-life service.

How you feel about me is nothing

compared to my disposition
for those Samuel brothers.

The damndest thing, not too long ago,

those boys were good and God-fearing.

Then just like that…

Bad. Turned. Rotten to the core.

Old Doris Samuel said

her four boys and adopted son, Slim,

went out to work an old well
one day on their farm,

and came back that night
a crazy bunch of no-goods.

She always said it was like,
they weren't her boys no more.

Also, Henry said
three of the five Samuels were caught.

There should have been only four left.

I pegged their leader, Zeke,
before I was killed.

Nobody could have survived that shot.

Maybe you're not the sharp shot
you thought you were, Annie Oakley.

I can shoot the sting
off a hornet from 50 feet.

[Jeanne] Your humility
is a virtue to behold.

[Roy] Thank you.

[Marshal] Hoo!

Here they come.

Told you they'd pass this way.

[Marshal] Make it quick.

Now's our chance.

Go!

Don't you worry none, fellas.

We'll be getting you to that
judge soon enough.

Just your exploits in this
region alone will see you

swinging by Sunday.

[urinating]

Sure you don't wanna go?

It's a great spot.

I feel light as a feather.

What are you doing?
We got the element of surprise!

[whispers] Look.

Holy shit!

The Uroboros!

[Jeanne] You may not be
such a bad shot after all, Roy.

But you couldn't have killed
that which was already dead.

Doris Samuels didn't think her sons came
home that night because they didn't.

Rogue souls that escaped judgement
must have been hiding in that well.

And possessed the brothers
and made them deados.

And this just became our jurisdiction.

[Matilde] Help! Help me, misters!

Please.

It's my sister!

She's hurt real bad.

She's a bit slow, you see,

and doesn't have
a keen sense of direction.

In fact, she don't much have
a keen sense of anything at all right now,

truth be told.

She slipped from the top of the canyon.

Banged herself up real good.

[Marshal] Now, you hold it right there.

We do not have the time
nor the disposition

to help the likes of you.

Guess you don't have the disposition

for no Morgan silver then neither.

Hey, fellas.

See if you can help the little lady out.

[Jeanne] Okay, then.

Thank you.

You're real saints.

[grunts]

[Marshal] Hey fellas, we gotta go.

Leave 'em to die if you have to.

Just make sure you grab the silver.

Fellas?

[grunting]

Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!

- Whoa!
- I got it! I got it!

You go check!

Yeah, you got her.

That's for damn sure.

But I can't see no bullet hole.

- Boo!
- [Marshal squeals]

[Jeanne] Hey, Marshal.

Still want that silver?

[Roy] That's the thing about dying,
it can only happen once.

Ow. Just like a snake bite.

[Samuels laughing]

Damn strong lock.

[straining] Search him again!

I'm telling you,
the key must have got lost

while you were busy assaulting
us US Federal Marshals.

No! These ain't mine! Oh, God!

So what now?

We're gonna have to pop one of them.

Pop what now?

Hmm?

[Roy] You gonna partake
in a little moonshine with our captives?

This isn't moonshine.

But for deados,
something far more torturous.

[growling]

[muffled screaming]

Once popped, he's got to be stopped.

[growling, screeching]

[grunts]

What the…

[monster screaming]

Holy shit.

No, water.

Blessed by the Almighty.

Once they've possessed
a human, deados hate

revealing their true selves.

The pain is unbearable.

Holy water speeds up the process.

Uh, where are the other two?

Oh, there's one.

[Jeanne] Like I said,

in a gunfight, all I need is my sword.

Let's go, deado filth.

Son of a…

What?

- What?
- Don't you what-what me, boy!

You was the one that sent me
to the bone orchard

with a slug to the back
of the skull, ya damn coward!

Ma'am! I've no idea who you are!

He doesn't recognize you, Roycephus.

[chuckles] Roycephus?
Her name is Roycephus?

Oh!

I saw it on your tombstone.

It is a pretty funny name. Is it Roman?

It means noble and kind!

Neither of which
I'm feeling at the moment,

as I stare into the eyes of my murderer.

No! Whoa, whoa. Slow down!

Now I know Sheriff Pulsipher
was shot near the train that day,

- but I've no idea who did it.
- You did it!

It was you! You shot me
from inside the train!

Nah, that bill is a load of bosh.

Someone's trying to frame me!

Okay.

Cool, cool, so clearly,
you can't see our true selves.

But can you see these weapons?

Mmm-hmm. Yeah, I see them.

Good, 'cause this pistol
is the last thing you're ever gonna see!

Adios, deados!

No. What about getting him to talk?

Think about your daughter. About Angus.

They're the reason we're here, right?

God damn it!

What did you do
with the people from the train?

Eat a horn toad!

Ah…

Oh, boy.

[yelps]

[screaming]

[growling]

Come on out!

Any more, and he'll pop.

I'll talk. Please!

[Roy] Go on, then. Talk.

[Slim] Okay. Okay, okay.
There's this deado.

The worst I've ever seen.
Goes by the name Otis.

Otis Claiborne.
And he ain't like most deados.

He's more powerful.

He forced me and the souls
that took over the other Samuels

to kidnap people
and deliver them to Red Creek.

Red Creek? As in Red Creek, Utah?

[Slim] Yeah.

Maybe this little diversion
wasn't a waste of time, after all.

And how long you been
rounding up folks for this Otis'?

About a month. Since he showed up.

That's around the same time
as the gateway rupture.

You reckon this Otis could be
the "hellish discharge" Hano was on about?

Souls can escape on their way into Hell

but none have ever gotten back out.

What business does this Otis
have with the kidnapped folk?

He's locking them up.
Keeping them healthy.

He's got something
big planned. That's for sure.

And it's goin' down soon.
That's all I know!

Means Angus might still be alive.

Look, we was just trying
to lay low from you RIPD.

But Otis has a real scary way about him.

I ain't proud of what I done,

but he threatened
to wipe us all out if we didn't help.

And how exactly was he going to do that?

Deados can't wipe out other deados.

With one of those, they can.

Now why would this Otis fella
have himself an RIPD equalizer?

I don't know. But it's not good.

We need to get to Red Creek.

Ow!

[horse neighing]

[sighs wearily]

[door opens]

That deado crew has returned.

But they only brought back eight more.

I'll get them to do
one last run before midnight.

Their leader said they're done.
For good this time.

Seems they want out
before any RIPD start moving in.

Is that so?

What else did he say?

He doesn't think we should all
be following you with such…

Blind faith.

They are questioning your origins.

Who you say you really are.

And you?

Do you doubt who I say I am?

It's just…

They're questioning how you got out.

[chuckles]

As one of the three, I had the freedom

to roam all circles of the underworld.

I escaped through limbo
during that full moon eclipse

when a fragment of the gateway grew weak.

Now, tonight's blood moon
completes a tetradic lunar cycle,

making the entire gateway
weak and vulnerable at midnight.

That's when we put the humans to work.

It gives them six hours to toil

until the gateway
strengthens again at dawn,

making it impossible
to penetrate once more.

This is why we need
as many hands as we can get.

Because if they fail…

It will be another quarter of a century

before the gateway
is at its weakest once again.

I was tired of fighting
for control down below.

I escaped to rule
over my own dominion here on Earth.

I can barely wait a few hours,
let alone a quarter of a century.

Now you tell me.

Do I also have to fight
for your belief in me as well?

No, I'm with you.

I am.

I believe you can
deliver us Hell on Earth.

But…

But what?

I can no longer speak for the others.

Well, let's go open everyone's eyes, then.

If you're gonna put faith in me,

I no longer want it to be blind.

Hmm.

[Roy] Are you sure we can't
just pop this dead weight?

He's holding us back.

[Jeanne] Execution is not RIPD policy.

Once we're done, Hano will have him

redirected back to Hell.

His fate has already been sealed.

Just put me on the back
of the horse, Miss Horciphus.

We'll get there much quicker.

I'll hold on to you real tight. I promise.

We'll keep each other
nice and toasty, huh?

What do you say? [grunts]

[Roy] I'll give him a fighting chance.

Ten seconds start.

He did kill me, after all.

[Jeanne] "The best revenge
is to be unlike him

who caused the injury."

[Roy] You quoting the Bible on me now?

[Jeanne] No. Marcus Aurelius said that.

Like you, he was a Roman, too.

Roycephus ain't Roman. It's a family name.

[Jeanne] Okay. I got it. Message received.

Don't you mean "Roy-ceiphed"?
Message "Roy-ceiphed."

[chuckles] Get it?
'Cause your name is Royceph…

- Oh! Here come the snake bites.
- Snake what?

Ow! Ow!

I'm sorry, okay? Damn!

I'm gonna file a complaint
when you take me in.

[groans]

Speaking of fate, I gotta thank you.

For, uh, saving my life
back at the canyon.

He had me dead to rights.

That wasn't easy for you, was it?

Admitting you can't do it alone.

I'm not admitting anything,
I'm just saying thanks

for having my back.
Don't make this awkward.

You're welcome.

But it wasn't your life
that I saved back there.

But something far more important.

Your soul.

So tell me, your dearly departed Millie,

do you think she ended "up" or "down"?

Well seeing how
I was heading to the pearly gates,

that damn fine woman probably
has a seat in the front row.

Hmm.

Looking forward to joining her.

Hopefully, she is waiting for you.

Oh, hey!

- What's that now?
- Oh, nothing.

- It's just...
- It's just what?

It's just there are
a lot of good men in heaven.

Very good men.

Good looking, so I hear.

Maybe she moved on.

They can do that?

Yeah.

[Roy and Slim] Damn!

I thought when I died,

Millie and I would be
together for eternity.

Eternity? Together with you, Roy?

No, no, no, no.

That would be
more like Hell for poor Millie.

- Don't you think?
- Yeah, it would. It would.

- [laughs]
- What are you laughing at? What?

I'm just breaking your noix.

Breaking my what?

Your, uh, this, only for boys.

- Breaking my nuts?
- Yes.

- You were breaking my nuts?
- Huh-uh.

[chuckles] That was a good one.

Oh, you got me.

I got you.

You got me, too. Man, she's funny.

Weird, but funny. [chuckles]

I'll shut up now. Message Roy-ceiphed.

I mean received. Aw, shit.

Ow! [yells]

[Roy and Jeanne laugh]

I heard this was all you could muster.

[Zeke] Word's getting around
about our kidnappings,

so it's rare to find anybody
gathering around here at all.

Our last two scores
had to be over the border.

Like I said, we're done here now.

[laughs]

You really don't wanna
stay and be a part of the foundation

that creates a new world order? Mm?

You don't wanna witness
something truly biblical?

What a shame you have no faith in me.

Because when I lead our kind
in Earth's great takeover,

you could have had
a seat at the main table.

[squelching]

[yells]

[screeching]

[distorted] Look at me!

Open your eyes.

I said, open your eyes!

[screeching]

And believe!

How do you feel about staying?

Go help the others.

I want these new ones
masked up, watered and fed.

I need them all fit for the work ahead.

[woman whimpering]

You think anyone doubts who I am now?

[woman shrieking]

Let's play a game called
"When we were alive."

So, when you were alive,
what'd you prefer?

Whiskey or gin?

Dresses or tights?

Chicken or steak?

You know what to do.

Come again?

[grunts]

Ow!

It's actually
starting to tickle. [chuckles]

Damn it!

The waltz or tango?

[exclaims]

Coffee or tea?

Saloons or brothels?

Sunrise or sunset?

Long hair, short hair?

Missionary or doggy-style?

Oh! Ah!

I'm starting to like that.

Are we there yet?

[Jeanne] "The sun will turn into darkness,

and the moon into blood,

before the great and terrible day comes."

[Roy] Guessing that's not Marcus Aurelius?

[Jeanne] The Book of Joel.

The sentiment is echoed
in Acts and Revelations, signifying...

The beginning of the end of times.

Yeah, Hano sent me
back to Earth with that same cheery note.

Just over that ridge is Red Creek.

I'd turn back if I were you.

[grunts]

Here are the rules.

You open that rancid pie hole of yours
and you tell anyone who we really are,

you eat one of these bullets.

You even imply that we're RIPD…

You eat one of these here bullets.

In fact you speak without me
allowing you to speak…

I eat one of them there bullets?

You're not as dumb as you look.

You so damn ugly. Come on!

Good idea.

We don't want anyone
recognizing we have him.

Yeah. That's why I did it.

[Slim] What's that smell? [gags]

Two Black women
are pulling a hooded man through town

with a rope and no one bats an eyelid?

They seem too ill to notice anything.

Yeah, I wonder what's ailing them.

Cholera hit Blackpool a few months back.

You hear that?

- [Jeanne] I hear nothing.
- [Roy] Exactly.

Just when you think things
couldn't get any stranger…

An empty saloon.

Whatever happened here,
happened in a hurry.

[boys coughing]

Boys. Hey, boys, where is everyone?

That's right! Pile it all up.

Come on, keep it moving now.
Come on. There you go.

All your donations
are going to a damn fine cause,

I assure you, so,

keep those heads up
and have another blessed eve…

Who's the snake oil salesman?

[Slim] Ah, Julius Butterfield.
He owns the saloon,

livery stables, general store,
the local printing press and the hotel.

Oh, yeah. He's also the mayor.

Seems like a fair election.

[bell ringing]

[Julius] Okay, I got you.
I got you. [coughs]

Forgive my tardiness.

There are days I need
at least five of me to get all I need…

Done.

Oh, no, no, no.

You…

You're gonna have to leave.
You should not be in here.

Sure, we should!

We're bounty hunters.

Sisters. All the way from Bandera, Texas.

We require lodgings. And this is a hotel.

He your bounty then?

You're not as dumb as you look.

Well, maybe you both are…

Because it appears that you can't read.

Now leave.

You're breaking the law.

Just 'cause it's a law,
don't make it right.

I'm gonna ask you to take that down.

Just as soon as I get that chance.

Burn it.

You don't tell me what to do.

Now.

Right.

You're right.

Capitalism is colorblind.

And being more open
means making more money, after all.

So…

Thank you.

All right.

[muffled clamoring]

You all right?

Beverly!

Yes, sir!

[chuckles]

What's all that "sir" nonsense?

I told you it's just plain old
"Julius" to you and everyone else.

We're all one and the same around here.

Now, Beverly would you please be so kind

as to show our guests here to room 5?

Thank you.

Enjoy your stay.

Follow me, ladies.

Pardon my asking,

but I recognize the birthmark
on the arm of your bounty.

He and his posse have been
in and out of town a few times of late.

Mind if I enquire what you got him for?

Killing a US Marshal.

[Slim] I told you,
I ain't kill no... [groans]

But don't you worry none, Miss Beverly.

We're gonna keep a real close eye on him.

I ain't afraid of him.

His partners were plain nasty.
But he was, uh, nice.

[Slim] Yes, thank you.

Come on in.

I hope it has everything you need.

[Jeanne] Excuse my own inquisitiveness,

Miss Beverly.

But, what ails the town?

Oh…

No one knows for sure.

Started about a month ago.

Mr. Butterfield says
it has to do with the water supply.

But between you and me and the bedpost,

I think that's just a ploy
for him to sell more whiskey.

To who?

There ain't barely anyone around.

Oh. Town emptied out dead of last night.

Mr. Butterfield says gold
was struck not far away.

Seems everyone must want a piece…

Before there's nothing left.

If that was the case,

I reckon old Butterfield would have been

the first to break ground.

Do you really believe him?

I don't have much of a choice.

Pardon me.

I suggest you keep your door locked.

[Slim] You heard her. She said I'm nice.

She ain't well.

Confusing you with someone else.

I mean, can a deado be nice?

Not in my extended experience.

[Slim] Well, look who's
discriminating now.

There must be something
in the air making everybody sick.

That's why it's not affecting any of us.

In other words, the dead.

And I think…

It's coming from up there.

[Slim] Hmm? Up where?

[groans]

[girl] Daddy! Daddy!

Stay with me! Stay with me!

Don't, don't! Don't, don't!

Please! I've got to revive my daddy.

Please…

Look, he's still with us.
Just let him rest.

Listen, lady. Up here,
if you take off that mask, you will die.

And fast.

How do you know?

I've seen it happen.

[Angus gasping, wheezing]

[coughing]

[girl] Okay! Stop it!
You've made your point.

Okay!

[panting]

What do they want with us all?

[Angus] I don't know.

I have a feeling
that we'll come to understand real soon.

[man] What are you looking at?

[coughing]

[coughing]

God damn it!

[Otis] You gotta get
all the equipment up to the mine.

There's no time to waste.

We start opening the gateway
in less than an hour.

[coughing]

What do you want, Butterfield?

Listen. Otis.

I've done everything
asked of me so far, haven't I?

You did try and run away
from me a few days ago, remember?

Okay, okay, but since then,

I couldn't have been
more accommodating to your needs,

no matter how felonious
or demanding. [coughing]

But, please.

I'm begging you.

All I want in return is one of these.

I told you they're for workers only.

Are you gonna be one?

I told you, I got a town to run.

You don't have much of one left.

Because you've taken everyone!

No! Please!

No, no, no. Please.

Please! A couple of healthy ones
just checked into the hotel.

Take them, too.

Just give me a mask.

I don't wanna die.

Death is not so bad.

In fact, sometimes it's the beginning
of a whole new kind of life.

I mean, look at us,

we can breathe all kinds

of toxic air that you can't
in your current form.

[inhales deeply]

And didn't I promise your body
the same sort of rebirth

if you just showed us a little
cooperation and hospitality?

And I have.

I've done everything.

I just… I just want my town back.

Tomorrow is the dawn of a new day for you.

And all mankind.

Go on.

Take it.

It's yours.

[coughs]

[breathes deeply]

What are y'all even doing
up that mountain anyways?

Well now that you have that mask on,

you're gonna find out.

[Julius] Otis, please!

Otis!

- Otis!
- [guard] Get back.

Ugh. [gags] Damn!

Smelt like a horse's
ding-dong under there.

You would know. Where is...

…Otis keeping the kidnappees?

We delivered them to the church.

That's all I know. Promise.

Ow. What are you doing? I can help!

Nice try, hoss. You're staying put.

You got looser lips than a jaw less mule.

You're gonna stay right here.

Come on!

That is tight as a bull's ass
in fly season.

Look, give me a chance to prove myself!

Please. I don't wanna go to Hell.

Nothing we can do about that now.

I didn't do nothing that bad
when I was alive.

Clearly, you did enough.

I mean, I stole some stuff.

Just some?

Okay, a little more than some.

A lot. I stole a lot of stuff.

In fact, I was called "Bumble,"

on account of my hands
were stickier than a beehive. See?

Hey! That's my new Susie!

You call your gun "Susie"?

Yeah, named it after my dear old Meemaw.

You named a soul killer after your grandma

and I'm the twisted one?

You should be going to Hell,
not... My point is,

I could have blown
both your souls to dust just now.

But I didn't.

'Cause I want you to know
you can trust me.

Stealing ain't right, I know that.

But it ain't nothing
compared to them souls

that took over the other Samuel boys.

You heard Beverly, them deados
are meaner than cut snakes.

And I ain't like them.

You think it's fair that we all get judged

to end up in the same awful place?

Psst, psst.

What is it?

Is there a chance
that old Slim, the real Slim,

a little part of him is still in there?

No. Slim is long gone.

This "Bumble" soul
is in complete control now.

And he's playing you, Roy.

Deados will do anything
to avoid going to Hell.

Don't be fooled.

Now let's go.

[Slim] I don't wanna
go to Hell. I don't belong there!

Please! Let me prove it to you.
I can prove it to you, please.

- I said, let's go, Roy.
- Please.

[Slim] Please! Please come back! [wailing]

I don't wanna go to Hell!

Please! I don't belong there!

[Jeanne] God have mercy on their souls.

Sorry.

The desecration of a house
of God is the ultimate sin.

Ultimate?

Kidnapping, hurting children,

murder, tad bit higher,
but, to each their own.

At least we know
Slim was telling the truth.

Angus was here. He was wearing
this the day he was taken.

[man] [muffled] Help me somebody!

Help me, please! Anybody!

[crying] Is anybody there?
Please! Anybody, help…

Butterfield?

What the hell are you doing in there?

This guy Otis and his bunch of madmen!

They've seized my entire town,

just rode right in here,
threw me in the back of this van...

Slow down!

Where'd they take everyone?

Up the mountain.

But the only thing
up there is an old mine.

Ain't no one struck it lucky
up there for...

The gateway!

I did hear Otis say something
about "opening a gateway."

The poisonous gas in the air
is seeping through the gateway

from the depths of Hell.

That rupture was Otis's soul escaping.

- Oh, Lord.
- Why are you praying?

Otis is going to use the humans
to crack the whole thing wide open.

Why? So he can get back inside?

No. So he can let the souls
of the damned back out.

- Roy.
- "Roy"?

[Jeanne] Otis is going to use

those digging humans
and turn them into deados.

After that, they'll keep pouring out,

eventually taking over and...

Possessing the rest of the world.

I get it. End of times.

Mmm-hmm.

But why doesn't Otis

and his deado troop just
do the digging themselves?

Like us, they're unaffected

by the gas and stronger
than the humans, right?

God created a defense,

a kind of buffer between Earth and Hell

to stop the souls beneath from returning.

That buffer was all of humanity.

Only when they invite the souls back in

are they able to rise again.

[Roy] But that would never happen.

'Cause mankind would never
welcome pure evil back into the world.

But by digging through the gateway,

that's exactly what they're doing.

[laughs]

Okay, you just lost me there

with all that talk of Hell,
and, "souls escaping."

You women can be so overly dramatic.

Really? Well, clearly
you don't want "us women"…

…to save your ass, huh?

- No!
- No? Fine, just do it yourself!

[exclaims]

[grunting]

A little help!

[Roy] A little help!

- A little more help!
- I'm tryin'!

Here! Take it.

[grunts]

[laughs]

[coughing]

[coughs]

Mr. Butterfield!

I have your tea and nightcap for you.

Mr. Butterfield, sir?

"Butterfield Printing Press"?

"500 copies"?

You didn't kill no lawman.

You're a victim of a gross injustice.

No way.

Now go.

Before they come back.

Go!

[coughing]

I think I'm dying.

I know something that may help.

Get these to the folks
who are still around.

Can you help me?

I've got someplace else I need to be.

[inhales deeply]

[exhales]

- [Nell] You guys ready?
- Yeah, all set, ma'am.

[Nell] It's almost midnight.

Not much longer now.

Hey, hey!

Back from the door!

Hey.

I know that sword.

Yeah. We bagged ourselves some RIPD.

Don't take your eyes off them.

It looked like
she recognized you and could see me.

Yup. Now we know
where those deados got their RIPD weapons.

That's Nell Boyce.

Recruitment got that one all wrong.

She robbed our armory
before going into hiding.

Guess she found something
worth coming out for.

[man exclaiming]

[both grunting]

[Roy] You got some stones on you, boy.

But sometimes,
saving the day requires you to admit

you can't do it alone.

[Angus] Whoa.

You should better get some masks.

You're gonna croak
real fast up in here if you don't.

Angus?

I'm sorry, do I know you, ma'am?

Of course you do, son. It's me…

Ro… [gibberish]

Right.

No, uh…

No, you, uh, don't know me.

No, um…

I, uh, just heard…

…your name called out by somebody

when you were storming out of the cage

like a wild mustang.

"Careful, Angus!

"Don't do anything foolish,
Angus. And so on."

That doesn't matter
right now. What matters is…

I see you now.

And you got much more moxie
than I ever gave you credit for.

I've been wrong to judge you
unkindly since we met.

Which was, what, maybe a minute ago?

Miss…

Mabel.

The name's Mabel.

Are you married, Angus?

[Angus] No, ma'am.

But I'm engaged…

To the most wondrous human
that I've ever met.

And her father?

Handsome son of a bitch, ain't he?

What? [stammers] I mean… I guess?

It's not a guessing game, I'm sure he is.

You know, I just never understood
why he never took a shine to me.

Maybe he stupidly thought
that you marrying my…

His daughter…

…you were trying to replace him.

And you know…

What, with his poor wife
taken ill by the pox a few years earlier…

Maybe he was scared
he'd be left all alone.

Wow.

How could you possibly know all that?

It's a gift.

Some call it women's intuition.

Let me ask you something.

If he was standing right here, right now,

what would you say to him?

Well, I would say, "Roy…"

"You handsome son-of-a-bitch,"

start with flattery,
helps with future in-laws.

[Angus] Um… So I'd say, "Roy…

Not only do I think that you are…

A handsome son-of-a-bitch, but…

I just want you to know
that I could never compete with you.

"And I just hope you know
how much I respect you."

"If I can even be
half the husband to my Charlotte

that you've been a father, then I…

I'll die knowing that I got it right."

You're gonna get that chance,
I promise you.

For inspiration.

I told you, I got a gift.

Otherworldly, you might say.

Here we go.

[ticking]

[ground rumbling]

It's time.

Gateway is weaker than I thought.

They'll break through
sooner than expected.

Bring 'em all in.

What do you want to do about the RIPD?

[Otis] I got plans for them.

[people clamoring]

Mabel! Mabel!

Help!

You stay down. You stay calm.
Think of Charlotte!

Let me go with him.

Let me go with him!

We wanna go in! We wanna help!

[Nell] I bet you do.

RIPD scum.

Hey, Joan, been a long time.

Still got this famous blade of yours.

As ex-RIPD,

I can tell you what
these two really look like.

No.

I can see them.

I can see everything.

And I can tell you it's too late for you

and your department, I'm afraid.

Tomorrow your RIPD will be
useless against our numbers.

When the gateway opens wide,
deados will take over.

And I'm gonna rule over
them all as I turn Earth

into the tenth circle of Hell.
[laughs maniacally]

Ah!

Just before dawn, bring them in so that

I can throw them into the abyss

before the gateway closes once again.

And for someone
who hates fire as much as you,

Jeanne D'Arc,

you'll be bathing in it for all eternity.

[exclaims]

[Nell] Whoa-ho. [chuckles]

The irony is so gloriously delicious.

[laughs]

Do not let them out of your sight.

Jeanne D'Arc? Joan?

445 years dead?

I think pretty quick
on my feet. I figured it out.

- You're...
- Joan of Arc.

Wow.

Joan.

If it's all right with you,
I'm just gonna keep calling you Jean.

- Jeanne.
- Jean, same thing.

Joan of Arc, first partner
this lone wolf has ever really needed.

And I've enjoyed having you
as my fourth partner.

Roycephus.

Well, let's hope
those other three are really with us,

'cause we'll need
all the help we can muster

to get the hell out of here.

[people grunting in effort]

[Nell] Harder. Dig harder.

Get him up.

- [deado] Get up.
- No, no, please, please. I can help.

- Come on.
- Get to work.

[grunting]

[laughing]

[all groaning]

I can feel it now.

In three…

Two…

One.

[people screaming]

[people screaming]

[yelling]

[dead souls growling]

[yelling]

[exclaims]

[Roy] So if they can get
this gateway open,

is there anything that can close it?

Yes. But we'll need
to extinguish the hellfire.

Only one thing can do that.

During the Siege of Orleans,
when I was alive,

I broke ranks to assess
the damage done to our houses of God…

God, have mercy on their souls.

[Jeanne] I discovered
something truly magnificent.

The Tears of Christ.

[Slim] Hey, y'all.
Room for one more at this party?

Well, well, well.
Look what the cat dragged in.

Didn't think we'd see you again.

Shut up, Cooper. You talk too much.

Mm. How does it feel being
on the "Royceiphing" end?

Oh, that's hers, ain't it?

[whispering] Yeah.

Look at this baby.

[Cooper] Whoa. Take it easy.

Not after the way she's treated me.

This is not what's planned for her.

You don't wanna go against orders.

Well, how about her, then?

I really feel like shooting somebody.

I get that.

Oh, you do?

Well, that's great!

[exclaiming]

[all grunting]

[clears throat]

Well, do you trust me now?

So before I let you out,

I want you to promise me,
my soul gets a retrial.

I want my current judgement revoked.

That's rare, but not impossible.

You let us out, and I'll see to it.

And you.

Before I let you out,
you need to see this.

Remember, Butterfield
owns a printing press,

and like I said, I was framed.

I told you the bills weren't official.

Butterfield had them fake ones made.

Your beef is with him, not me, Roycephus.

Call me Roy.

[growling]

Listen to me.
We gotta try and get out of here.

We gotta get out right now!

Daddy! No! [sobs]

Please…

No!

He's gone! He's been taken! Look at me!

Your daddy's gone. We have to go!

These tears need to be dropped
into the eye of the hellfire,

dead center in the gateway.

Only then will it seal,
sucking everything in with it.

Means we gotta get those humans out first.

Exactly.

Now go.

Uh, you're coming with.

I can't, Roy. I…

I just can't.

Go! Go!

Just stay with me.
You'll get out. Just stay with me.

Come on! I think I get it!

Don't look at them!

Avert your eyes!

Avert your eyes!

You've got fire in you

that's greater than anything
that came out of Hell.

You got this. Come on, now!

Not a moment has passed
since I was burned at the stake

that I have not heard
my own dying screams.

I can't do fire, Roy.

I'm sorry.

Bring me in.

Hey, partner.

You've been safeguarding
these for 445 years.

This is your moment.

Make them open their eyes!

Make them look!

I didn't call for them.

No choice, the other one rebelled.

Took out Cooper and Brooks
before I got her.

What should I do with this one?

Just throw him in!

Ready?

Set.

Go!

[laughs maniacally]

[Angus] This way. Come on.

Come on.

Go help Angus and the others.
I'm gonna find me this Otis.

Okay.

Close your eyes! Close your eyes!

Come on, come on!

Keep your eyes closed! Go! Move!

Go! Go!

Watch out!

Let's go! Come on!

[straining]

Whoa!

[grunting]

[Roy] Oh, I get it. It's hot.

It's gonna get a whole lot hotter.

[Julius] Please. Please.

No, no, no, no…

Get out of here. Go!

[grunting]

[Slim] Keep your eyes closed!

Keep your eyes closed!

Come on! Go!

Go! Feel!

[yells]

[growling]

[grunting]

[grunting]

[screaming]

[yells]

We need to hold on.

[exclaims]

[screams]

Hold on!

[sighs]

[people murmuring]

[Angus] Hey, it's over.

It's over.

That's some powerful tears you got there.

And the wretched are where they belong.

[Roy] And Otis, too, from the looks of it.

Thanks for showing up when you did.

You didn't give me much choice.

[straining] Little help, please.

Come on.

[both straining]

[grunts] Oh, it's really in there.

[Jeanne] It's like
the Earth is tightened around it.

[Otis] Your interference
is really testing my patience.

Appears I'll have to wait another 25 years

for this opportunity.

Astaroth!

As… What? What's an Astaroth?

[Jeanne] One-third of the evil trinity.

The right hand to the devil himself.

Until I rose to establish
my own throne here on Earth.

And you're not gonna stop me this time!

[growling]

[Jeanne] I've lost the tears, Roy.

I've got to get to my sword.

[Roy] Hold on, now.

Look what got left behind.

Relax. I got this.

Hey, Asshole-roth!

[Astaroth laughs]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[yells]

[growling]

[gasps]

Nothing more humiliating
than having your soul taken

by your own weapon, huh? [laughs]

[Roy] The tears.

Let there be something left.

[screeching]

Eat your heart out, Annie Oakley.

[indistinct chatter]

[women laughing]

[Jeanne] I'm quite sure
Butterfield does not expect us

to settle our tab.

No, but we got some unfinished business.

I never meant to kill that Sheriff!

- [Slim] Let's go.
- Please.

You got to believe me.

[Slim] I found him cowering under the bed.

Go on, tell him the truth!

When Otis took over my town,

I tried to escape.

Caught me a train across the border.

Just so it happened, them Samuel bandits

were working over Horseshoe
at the same time,

stealing more folks for Otis
as the train passed through.

I didn't want them Samuels
bringing me back.

So, when I fired that gun…

I thought I was shooting one of them.

Butterfield!

No. No, come here.

Go on!

I knew he was there.

I knew he was the weakest.

I had them fake bills printed
in order to save my own hide.

Why do you women
even care so much about that damn Sheriff?

I know what Marcus Aurelius
thinks about revenge.

But what does the Bible say,
and make it quick?

Roy, if I start quoting the Bible,
Butterfield will die of old age.

- [chuckles softly]
- You know what to do.

I heard that you lost
your lawman up there last night.

Is there anyone that you or the town
wanna elect as new Sheriff?

Yes, there is.

Him.

- Him?
- Me?

And I'm going to be his Deputy.

All right, then.

You saw firsthand
where you're gonna end up.

There ain't nothing worse
that I can to you than that.

Take him away. Lock him up.

Deputy.

Let's go!

Julius.

Release me!

Deado outlaw to deado lawman.
You've come a long way, son.

I guess you've earned the right
for us to know who you really are.

Should we call you Bumble?

No. Keep calling me Slim.

I intend on bringing
only honor to the name.

We'll come get you
when your soul's retrial has been set.

But you step out of line here,

and we'll be coming back
for a whole different reason.

Message Roy-ceiphed.

Well… [sighs]

I guess us ladies need to go shopping

for a couple of dresses.

Because…

We cannot go to my daughter's wedding
looking like this!

Mon Dieu!

Yeah, whatever that means!

It means, "Oh, my God!"

[bells tolling]

Ladies and gentlemen,

I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Parker!

[all cheering]

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

Thank you.

There they are. Come on.

One second, one second. Come on, come on.

Well, now.

Don't you two look simply magnificent?

Good luck, Angus.

After today you'll face a far
greater challenge than Hell.

Marriage.

And you're gonna love every second of it.

Uh… [chuckles]

Are you okay, Mabel?

'Cause I didn't understand
a word you just said.

[speaking gibberish]

I think my sister must have
burned her tongue up there.

She said she couldn't be happier

for you and your beautiful wife.

[Charlotte] I know I just met her,

but it feels like I've known
Mabel my whole life.

[Angus] I know.

She is very…

Otherworldly.

[Roy] So tell me why Angus
can't understand me now.

Because now that you've approved
of your daughter's marriage,

your soul considers Angus a loved one.

Hmm.

[speaks French]

So, uh, what are we gonna do
with these here horses?

Let them go.

They'll be here for us
when we need them.

[clicks tongue]

[speaking French] Merci.

You know, I've been thinking, I get it.

You're RIPD
for the rest of your afterlife.

Duty, honor, servitude and all that.

But between you and me and the fencepost,

I reckon' I'm done.

As soon as we're done
with this shitty ride here,

I'm gonna tell Hano to open up that portal

point me towards the sweet
warmth of eternal glory,

and send me on my way.

I want you to know,

I'm real glad to have served
with you and the RIPD,

partner.

[laughs]

[laughs] What… What's funny?

You didn't read your contract, did you?

Hell, no. That thing
was thicker than Slim.

Well, eternal glory does await you, Roy,

but only after you served your minimum

100-year contract term.

- One hundred years?
- Mm-hmm.

Looks like you and me
aren't done with each other yet, partner.

Come on!

[grunts]

[laughs]

[spits]

God damn it.

Sorry, boss.

What I meant to say was…

Damn it!

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