Original subtitles

[thunder rumbling]

[dance music]

[women] Whoo!

[electricity crackling]

-Would you like something sweet? -Oh.

♪ Ooh, wow ♪

♪ Ooh ♪♪

[laughing]

What do we got here, fellas, an antique show?

All right, boys, fan out!

What a wrinkle fest this is. [laughing]

-[whimpering] -Hey, beat it, you broads! Come on!

All right, sit down and shut up!

We're the Red Eyes. So, everybody, freeze!

Get their valuables, boys. I want watches, wallets, jewelry.

Get me some silver chains. I want wigs. I want toupees.

[elderly woman whimpering]

[Red Eye leader] Keep an eye out for me, will ya? [laughs]

-Move it! -[elderly man] No, no, not mine!

Leave me alone! I'm a veteran!

Oh, no! Oh, no, not that!

[laughing] I love crashing parties!

Hey, cake! [laughing]

[grunting]

-[man] Pardon me, Fatty. -Huh?

-[groans] -But if you're going to eat cake,

you ought to use a fork.

You might just as well shovel it in.

-[shovel clanks] -[groans]

People who don't close their mouths when they chew

make me furious.

Ooh.

[roaring]

[screaming, groans]

-One for you. -[man groans]

-Drat. And for you. -[elderly people gasping]

Come on, come on. [chittering]

Want a little whipped cream, Mr. Cherry Top?

-[grunts] -[Red Eye] Get him. Yeah.

[grunts] Is that all you got, huh? Is that all you--

[groans]

[screaming]

-Throw it! -Not today, my vermilion-eyed varlet.

Oh. Blast.

[grunting] Out of the way!

-[grunting] -[woman screams]

[screaming]

Yes, this one should stick.

-[groaning] -Oh, I-- [squawks]

Oh, my! That's right up the Khyber!

[woman screams]

[groans]

-Oh! -[groans]

Oh, it's Captain Amazing!

-It's Amazing! -I'm outta here!

[Red Eyes screaming]

C.A,, you were, if I may say, amazing.

-Yeah? [blows nose] -Yeah. Let's go meet the press.

[groaning] Boy, he is good.

He is rather ripping, isn't he?

-Boy. -The spinning and the hurting

and the kicking.

I guarantee you he hogs the credit on this one.

-[groans] -[groans] Well, I do think we have to

at least concede him the assist here, Roy.

No, no. You see? That's exactly what's holding us back.

Don't put him on the pedestal. Put us on the pedestal.

-Here he comes. -[groaning]

Bravo and huzzah, Captain. Splendid work, as usual.

No, no, no. No autographs till we finish with the press.

We're not-- Allow me to introduce myself.

Blue Raja, master of silverware, forks a speciality, at your service.

-My colleague, the Shoveler. -Big fan of your work.

-Come on. -Yes, and standing rather painfully aside

is our cohort, Mr. Furious.

-How's it hanging? -[Captain Amazing] Oh, so you guys, um--

-They're superheroes. -Oh.

-Well-- -Okay.

-We fight crime. Call it what you will. -Quite right.

That's great, that's great. Just, you know...

keep up the good work.

-[chuckling] -You as well, sir. You as well.

Did you see-- Did you--

Did you hear that? "Keep up the good work."

-The good work. -He's making fun of us.

No, Roy. He saluted us. That was real.

-I thought he was sincere. -What's up, fellas?

Hello. Nice to see you. Hello.

I saw the action out there tonight.

What you guys need is a little bit of firepower.

-Well-- [chuckles] -I'm a weapons designer.

-I've got what you need. -A-All right. We'll come back.

We'll visit all of you people later. Thank you, sir.

No, no, no, no, no.

I-I don't live here. I'm here for the ladies. You know.

Here, take my card.

My name's Heller. Say it with me.

[both] Heller.

All right. Thank you.

-Good night. -I don't know why you

encourage those people.

-Those people look up to us, Roy. -Oh, that's true.

-You know the drill. -Please sigh my hat, Captain Amazing.

-[applause] -[boy] Ow.

-Herman, give me a flash. -[shouts, groans]

Hey, how are you tonight?

Captain, how did you know where to find the Red Eyes?

Becky, it's... what I do.

Thanks to you, the city's almost crime-free.

So what do you do with your free time?

-[shutters clicking] -I wish that I had some free time.

People are saying that you're so amazing you're gonna put yourself out of a job.

-Have any comments on that? -That's one problem I look forward to.

And is it true that you lost your Pepsi endorsement?

I hadn't heard that.

Thanks so much for your questions. Thank all of you so much.

[Becky] You sure, Captain, you have no comments regarding your Pepsi situation?

[engine starts]

[crowd chattering]

Oh, look who we got.

You again. Wannabes.

This city already has a superhero.

Perhaps you've heard of him: Captain Amazing.

Thank you.

[officers laughing]

-Do yourself a favor, McGuire. -Let it go, Roy.

Don't flip my switch tonight.

Oh, yeah? And what exactly would that do?

-Don't turn around, Roy. Don't do it. -Don't do anything.

-It's nothing. It's not worth it. -Keep walking, Roy. Keep walking.

It's not worth it. [sighs]

I think you know exactly what that would do... checkerhead.

What?

Don't mess with the volcano, my man.

"Cause I will go Pompeii on your... butt.

-Boo! -[screams]

Oh, my golly. Good grief.

-[laughing] -You keep dreamin',

wannabe.

[laughing] Let's go.

Dream on, moron.

I will keep dreaming. I will keep dreaming, my friend.

And when I wake up, you better hope--

You better hope you're asleep.

-Don't reengage him, Roy. He's a silly-- -Sweet dreams!

-He's immature. -Lilac.

C.A., I'm doing my best.

Oh, your best? Uh, quick question.

Is this your best?

-Okay, I realize you're upset. -Victor, I'm positioned.

Okay? Do you understand what that means, on a very personal level here,

to know that the companies that make these fine products

want me to be their spokesperson, their voice?

I think right now we should focus on the positive.

-Tonight was good. -Yeah? You think so?

'Cause I was worried it was, um, I don't know, pathetic!

"Amazing triumphs at a nursing home!"

That's great copy, Vic.

Look, I'm a publicist, not a magician.

You want big news, you have to have big fights.

A superhero needs a supervillain and, thanks to you, we've got none left.

-Then get the... Death man. -Death man is dead.

-Okay. Father Doom. -Life without parole.

Apocalypto's doing 50 years. Armagezzmo's in exile.

-Baron Von Chaos got the chair. -Really?

Casanova Frankenstein is locked up in a nuthouse.

Casanova Frankenstein.

Now, there was a supervillain.

You know, he just--

He's got those eyes, you know?

[laughs] I can't do it, but--

And that voice. Such pure evil.

The battles we used to have. Extraordinary.

"Used to."

That's the problem, Captain. "Used to."

[thunder rumbling]

[inmates groaning, moaning]

[groaning, moaning continue]

[groaning, moaning louder]

[man] Let the record show that this parole hearing has officially begun.

We now commence the 17th parole hearing of Casanova Frankenstein.

Dr. Leek, you may begin.

Thank you.

Gentlemen of the board, the man who sits before you,

the once infamous evil genius, is entirely cured.

-What? -I give you my word

that he's of no more danger to the city now... than I am.

-This is outrageous. -Yes.

[Chairman] Mr. Casanova Frankenstein,

do you have anything to say on your own behalf?

Blessed disciples of Hippocrates,

my heart is split in two.

It brims...

with such sorrow for my abominable crimes.

And yet it swells with love for you,

for this sanctuary, this--

This place of healing.

Within my soul, I feel the choir singing...

Beethoven's immortal "Ode to Joy"...

where all men...

-become... brothers. -[door opening]

Am I too late to cast my vote?

Not at all, Lance. I was just about to remind the board

that Casanova once had our city in a stranglehold of terror.

Parole is not an option for this man, this monster.

We cannot risk the danger of releasing him.

-I could not agree with you more. -[Chairman] Excellent.

However, I, uh, I did just have dinner with an old friend recently.

Maybe you've heard of him. Captain Amazing.

-Captain Amazing? -And he asked, if I would, to read this.

"Dear members of the board,

We all know that society cannot exist

without absolute justice,

but society is also built upon...

compassion.

Let us set the tone for the new millennium

by making a historic gesture of forgiveness.

Ladies and gentlemen, I implore you,

let us grant Casanova Frankenstein...

a second chance.”

[Chairman] Uh, well-- Um--

With Captain Amazing's recommendation and protection,

I suppose we could consider-- [clears throat]

-I pronounce you... -[pounding stamp]

...cured.

Hello, Champion City.

Daddy... is home.

[grunts] Hi, everybody.

You know, tooth decay and gingivitis can be a crime.

That's why I use Mighty Whitey toothpaste.

Because I want my teeth to look... amazing.

I'm gonna bring this up again.

It's 150 bucks apiece. We each chip in.

My cousin knows this guy who knows a publicist.

What are we gonna publicize, Roy?

The fact that we get our butts kicked a lot?

Well, maybe if you didn't smack me in the face with the shovel

every time we went out...

-All right now. -...we'd have more wins to brag about.

I'm sorry about that. I just have a tendency to lose my concentration

when I've got a salad fork stuck in my rear end.

Oh, oh, I get it. So your shovel in his face is my fault.

You threw a spoon at the guy, Jeff.

Yeah. What was up with that?

[Blue Raja] Frightfully embarrassed about that.

-I thought it was a fork. -You're the master of cutlery.

You can't throw a knife sometimes

-when someone's trying to kill me? -No, I can't.

-You can't use a rake sometimes? -No, I'm the Shoveler.

I'm the Blue Raja. I'm not Stab Man.

I'm not Knifey Boy. I'm the Blue Raja.

-That's another thing. -What?

I mean, you could get a little bit of blue in the uniform somewhere.

-Really. -You've got green.

There's a little flowery thing happening.

-There's everything but-- -[Shoveler] Doesn't make a lot of sense.

If we could just step out of our literal minds for just one moment.

Hey. Ooh, look what I'm doing. Look at that.

I'm putting 150 right on the table. Who's in with me?

I don't have 150, now, do I?

If I did, I wouldn't plunder my mother's silverware.

-It's a waste of money. -You know who doesn't think

it's a waste of money?

-Little Mr. Captain Amazing. -Well, Captain--

If we had a billionaire like Lance Hunt as our benefactor,

yeah, we could spend 150.

Hmm. That's 'cause Lance Hunt is Captain Amazing.

-Oh, don't start that again. -Oh, here we go.

Lance Hunt wears glasses. Captain Amazing doesn't wear glasses.

He takes them off when he transforms.

That doesn't make any sense. He wouldn't be able to see.

-[waitress] Hi. Thanks for waiting. -Hey, thanks for dropping by.

-Do you know what you want? -Mm-hmm.

If you'll allow me to begin, my dear.

The Blue Raja is quite partial to the Salad Niçoise.

My dressing of choice is rancho lite,

and I'd appreciate it if you'd hold the Bacon Bits.

However, seeing as it's your first night and all, I suppose I'll "fork-give" you

if you "fork-get.”

[laughs] Who's next?

Can I get a meatball sandwich on white with mayo?

I'll have a steak, please. Very rare. That means pink, not bloody.

And could I get some ice?

I had a little mishap defending justice over at the nursing home tonight.

Oh, I thought I heard on TV that that was Captain Amazing.

Ha-ha. Oh. Okay.

Let's all be good little automaton droids

and believe everything we hear on TV.

I'll just go place your order now.

A trifle strident with that bit of crumpet,

-weren't we, Furious? -Well, I am a ticking time bomb of fury.

[Blue Raja] All I'm saying is when we split the check three ways,

the steak-eater picks the pocket of the salad man.

-Just give me the money, Jeff. -Yes, fine.

-Every time we split it three ways. -It's flipping robbery.

Well, you should order more.

Ho. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Do you see what I see?

-[Blue Raja] Hello. -[Shoveler] It's Tony C.

And Tony P, leader of the Disco Boys.

[disco music]

But why, pray tell, would he be back in town?

Maybe it's time to do a little following to find out.

No, it's already 10:30.

I'm gonna get killed by my wife as it is.

Yes, and I've had

quite enough excitement for one night, thank you.

Oh, okay.

I'm sorry. My mistake.

I thought I was hanging out with a couple of serious superheroes

the Shoveler and the Blue Raja.

But, apparently, I'm hanging out with Lazy Boy and-and--

-Good night, Roy. -Yes, toodle-oo, Roy.

Hang on a second. Lazy Boy and-and the-the-the--

And-And the Recliner!

Yeah, Lazy Boy and the Recliner!

Guys, are you coming? Are you--

-[disco music on car stereo] -Great.

Okay, fine.

I guess tonight...

the lone wolf...

-[motorcycle engine sputtering] -...hunts... alone.

[grunting]

-[engine starts] -Aaah! Ooh! Oh!

[whimpers]

[strained] Testicles rising.

Can't breathe. Can't breathe.

-[tires squealing] -Ow! Ow! Oh!

[squeaks]

[cartoon playing on TV]

[cartoon voice 1] My gosh, it's Dr. Studedunker.

He's out cold.

[cartoon voice 2] Hey! Watch it, bub!

-[kisses] -Butch needs his vest back.

He's got a game on Saturday.

Well, it's my vest too. I bought it for him.

The only thing I need--

-Okay. -How long you gonna do this, Eddie?

-It's been 12 years. -I know.

You got a family to look after, Eddie.

The kids are worried sick about you.

But still you go out, night after night, running around the city for what?

Lucille, God gave me a gift.

I shovel well. I shovel very well.

Oh, baby, you shovel better than any man I've ever known,

but that does not make you a superhero.

-All I-- -Oh, no, no, no, no.

You're a good husband...

and a good father,

but that's all, nothing more.

You're right.

I believe in you, Daddy.

[Lucille groans] Roland, do not encourage your father.

[Blue Raja] Well, well, well, if it isn't our old friends, the Red Eyes.

Good evening, gentlemen.

We weren't expecting to see you again so spoon--

-[spoon clatters] -Damn.

[clears throat] Red Eyes, Red Eyes, Red Eyes. What a treat.

We weren't expecting to see you again so spoon.

-Jeffrey. -Yeah? Mom.

Mom! How many times have I asked you not to just barge in here?

-[Mother] What's burning? -Incense.

Mom, I can't even count how many rules you're breaking right now.

One: Always knock. Two: Don't sniff around outside my door.

Three: Do not interrogate me.

-Jeffrey. -What?

Are you on the marijuana?

Mom, you're cheesing me off so bad right now.

Just, please-- Good night.

Okay, Okay. I'm sorry. Jeffrey, please--

-Good night. -Okay, good night, Jeffrey. [coughing]

[sighs]

-God, she's just so-- [screams] -[pants rip]

[disco music]

[motorcycle approaching]

[engine stops]

[grunting]

Ooh, whoa.

All right, let's see what's shaking

over at the Chez Casa Casanova.

[beeping]

[water running]

[disco music playing on speakers]

[man] ♪ Listen to the ground There is movement all around ♪

♪ There is something goin' down ♪

♪ And I can feel it ♪

♪ On the waves of the air ♪

♪ There is dancing out there ♪

♪ If it's something we can share ♪

♪ We can steal it ♪

-[music continues] -Ah! The old disco room.

♪ Controlling my mind and my soul ♪

-♪ When you reach out for me ♪ -Just as I left it.

You've been locked up for 20 years, Casanova.

A lot of things have changed since then.

It must have been hard for you, Tony,

the way times and styles have changed.

-♪ Night fever, night fever ♪♪ -To hear the people saying

that disco is dead.

Disco is not dead! Disco is life!

Yes, Tony, that is the passion I remember.

Stick with me, Tony, und you will dance again...

when I rule this town.

[music continues]

Have you met my psychiatrist?

Come out, come out wherever you--

There we go.

Looks like we got a little terrace party.

Tony, I want you to spread the word to all of my gangs.

Tell them that Casanova Frankenstein is back...

und that Casanova Frankenstein is planning something...

a little bit different.

-Kaboom. -[explosion]

[explosions continue]

Ooh! Mama pajama!

What kind of crazy man blows up a crazy house?

Und now, if you will excuse me, I am expecting a visit

from a very old friend.

[jet engine whining]

Ooh, look what we got. A little booty call from Captain Amazing.

[classical music]

Mmm, oh, this is a fine, elegant Harvey Wallbanger.

♪♪

Even when it's sucked by scum like you?

Captain Amazing. What a surprise.

Really? I'm not so sure about that.

Your first night of freedom, and you blow up the asylum.

Interesting choice. I knew you couldn't change.

-I knew you'd know that. -Oh, I know that.

And I knew you'd know I'd know you knew.

But I didn't. I only knew that you'd know that I knew.

Did you know that?

Of course.

-Please, won't you join me? -With pleasure.

Oh, quick thought.

Would you mind removing the submicronic laser

in the ring on the index finger of your left hand?

-Of course. -And, if it wouldn't be too much trouble,

go ahead and disengage

the psychotropic bacterium dart launchers in your slippers.

-Done. -[beeping]

The cold fusion, ultrasonic neuro-stunner in your drink stirrer, turn it off.

We know each other so well, don't we, Lance?

Well, we've always been each other's greatest nemesises.

Nemesis-- [muttering]

-[beeps] -W-What's the plural on that?

Nemeses.

Whatever.

You're going to prison for life this time, Casanova.

You see, here in Champion City,

we still do a fairly brisk trade...

in justice.

I thought it was all about the publicity and keeping your sponsors happy.

See, it's that kind of cynicism that I truly feel

is starting to poison society.

Oh, lookee here.

A multi-frequency radio detonator.

You should be more careful when discarding incriminating evidence.

Oh, no, no, no. This is an amusing little gizmo.

It's really quite cool.

Yeah? W-What is it?

[coughs] Yuck.

It's a chloroform-deploying portable enticement snare.

Ah, dang!

[moans]

Oh, Lancey,

you really are so predictable.

[blubbering]

[tires screech]

-[accordion playing on speakers] -Morning, Sally.

-You're late! -Yes, I know.

I was up all night, trying to defend the city from evil,

but I'm sure you don't really care about that.

Work starts at nine! It's 9:25!

Ooh, so I guess all the junk's probably ruined by now.

Hey, sucker, when are you gonna tear down that jeep like I told you to?

Okay, I thought we went through this yesterday.

That old jeep is actually an armored car of some type.

It was meant to withstand bombs. I can't just rip it apart with a crowbar.

Just junk it.

Maybe if you gave me the proper tools, I could--

Junk it!

All right, you know what? I'm willing to have this discussion with you,

but I think we should deal with it like two people who respect--

I want it junked.

[softly] Okay.

Right now, I'm kind of like a powder keg...

and you're the match.

If you tell me to junk it one more time--

Junk it now! You got that?

[breathing heavily]

[softly] That little sucker just saved your life.

[laughing] Just junk it, you miserable cuss.

I singers on radio) ♪♪ Na na na, na na na ♪

[crashing]

[man] ♪ There was a science ♪

♪ Computer violence in the old days ♪

♪ The systems fella and Cinderella-- ♪♪

[male reporter] We interrupt this program to bring you breaking news.

Champion City's best-known billionaire, Lance Hunt, has disappeared.

Police hope to enlist the help of Captain Amazing in the search for Hunt,

but have so far failed to contact the city's beloved superhero.

He makes a wonderful trophy, don't you think?

[chuckles]

Listen, I really think we need to talk about your plans here.

You know my plans, Lancey.

-Tomorrow night, I'm going to kill you. -[giggles]

Right. That's the part that really doesn't work for me.

When the clock strikes 12:00... cuckoo, cuckoo...

you will be dead,

und my city will be given a new state of mind.

Well, listen, clearly you gotta go with what you're comfortable with,

but I don't know, I just keep coming back to this place.

And I'm spit balling here, but maybe

we release the captain to the authorities.

I say that you're completely reformed. Wink, wink.

There's rejoicing in the streets.

Then, at that point, you do the whole destruction of the city thing.

I mean, is it a perfect plan? No.

And I think that's what I like about it.

-Geez. Okay. -[loud clanging]

Oh, okay, that's great. Turn off the lights now.

It was just an idea. Okay, wait, I got a better one.

You let me live, I am your sidekick.

I'm like Amazing Boy or-- Casanova?

[Blue Raja] Are you sure Captain Amazing is in there?

[Furious] Yeah, I'm sure. Let's go.

-[hissing] -Shh! Wait! Hear that?

We must have hit a trip wire.

It could be a photon eviscerator heating up.

It could be a cybernetic atom scrambler.

They target moving objects.

Sounds more like a heat-seeking anthrax projection gun to me.

-Quickly, cover your mouth. -No, let's bolt! Come on!

-Don't move! -Don't breathe!

-Let's bolt! -Don't move!

-Don't breathe! -Let's bolt!

-Ah! Huh? -[mutters]

[Shoveler] Oh, it's the sprinkler. Great. Oh.

[all groaning, sputtering]

Isn't that just fabu? I'm positively soaked.

Shh.

[singers] ♪ Ah, freak out ♪

-♪ Le freak, c'est chic ♪♪ -What do we got here?

I think they're supposed to be jive superheroes.

Well, they made a big mistake coming to Casanova's place.

[scoffs, laughing]

[laughing continues]

-What's so funny? -Uh, that's it?

That's your power? You have guns?

Couldn't you be a little more creative than that?

Do forgive the impertinence, guv'ner,

but what the devil does a pistol have to do with disco?

-Weak. -At best.

Check out the guy with the pipe. What are you, the disco plumber?

[heroes laughing, taunting]

There's no theme at all here, mates.

Hey, buddy, if you're gonna carry a chain, at least make it a gold chain.

See what I'm saying? And that's like just off the top of my head.

Yo, what's up, Tiger Lily?

-The top of your head, eh? -[groans]

[Disco Boys grunting]

[Shoveler] We'll never get in there, Roy.

There are just too many of those Disco Boys.

[Furious] Look, I'm telling you, Amazing's in there. I saw him go in.

[Blue Raja] There's never any evil trios, are there?

No, they've all got to travel in gangs like little babies.

Maybe it's time to level the playing field.

How?

I'm talking about recruiting.

There's plenty of guys out there who would kill to get in on our action.

-Plenty of posers, you mean. -Well, yeah, maybe a few.

But there's got to be a couple of guys out there, you know, like--

like a Human Torch before he hit.

Or like a guy who can shoot stinging foam into your eyes

or something like that.

Well, hmm-- Well, there's the Sphinx, of course.

The what?

-The Sphinx. -I know this guy.

Big crime fighter from down south. Big-league hitter down there.

-What's his power? -He's terribly mysterious.

That's it? That's his power?

He's mysterious?

-Well, terribly mysterious. -Plus, he can, like,

cut guns in half with his mind.

-Really? - I think.

I hadn't heard that.

[Shoveler] We'll have to track this Sphinx guy down.

Meantime, I have an idea where we can get another guy.

I'm free for lunch tomorrow. How about you?

Nothing I couldn't move around.

Listen, uh, why don't you guys go on ahead?

I gotta take care of something.

[Blue Raja] Oh, I see.

Good cause there, saving homeless animals.

Yeah.

Ooh, hog queen?

-What? -You're into motorcycles.

-Oh. No, not really. -Oh.

'Cause I got a motorcycle.

-Yeah, what kind? -It's a Harley.

A Harley.

Compatible. It's a Harley compatible.

Basically, the same engineer.

Uh, hey, look,

I hope we're cool about last night.

-Last night? -Like I said,

I was kind of in scary mode back there.

Sometimes that comes off a little threatening or whatever.

I don't find you threatening.

Oh, well, you're-- you're very, uh-- You're very, uh, kind.

-[waitress] At all. -[laughs]

-[slurping] -Listen, I still feel like

I should make it up to you somehow, just in some way. You know, just, uh...

I feel like I should take you out to dinner or something

to make up for being so scary

-or whatever. -I'm really busy.

Right.

Our little chess game continues. [sniffs]

Yeah?

We're looking for the one they call "The Invisible Boy."

[gasps] Wow.

All my life, I've been ignored by people,

and finally, after years of being overlooked,

I found I have the power to disappear.

It's real ironic how it happened "cause--

Think we can, uh, think we can come in?

-Well, yeah, sure. Come on. -Thank you.

Hey, Dad, I'm going to my room with three strange men.

-And that's pretty much it. -So let me get this straight.

You do have the ability to become invisible?

Yes.

But you can't give us a demonstration?

No. I can only become invisible when no one's watching.

So, you're only invisible to yourself?

No. If I look at myself, I become visible again.

So, you can only become invisible when absolutely nobody is watching you?

-Yes. -Do forgive our incredulity,

but I'm wondering how you can be certain you've achieved transparency at all?

Well, when you go invisible,

you can feel it.

-Okay, I'm leaving. -Thanks a lot.

It was nice to have met you.

W-W-Wait, guys. Don't go. Where you guys going? Wait. Don't go.

-Can I come? -[Furious sighs]

Look, no offense, kid,

but we're about to go up against a really powerful supervillain.

Casanova Frankenstein, okay?

That means we gotta find a lot of superheroes really quickly.

And to tell you the truth, we have no idea where to even start, so--

I know tons of superheroes.

-[sighs] I'm sure you know a lot-- -No, no, no, seriously.

I mean, I'm out there all the time at the costume shops, martial arts stores,

talking to guys and making connections.

Hey, if you want to break in, you gotta network,

and I know how to network.

-Uh, sorry, kid. -Come on.

Haven't you guys ever been a kid?

Haven't you guys ever had a dream?

Let me see. Who else have I met? There's the Pincher.

-"Pincher." -The Pickier.

Princess Headbutt.

White Flight and the Black Menace. They work together.

Slow down, slow down.

Then there's, uh, Professor Pink Belly,

and Lucky Pierre and The French Tickler.

[Blue Raja] "French Tickler."

And you say you've got all their telephone numbers?

Yeah, most of them.

We've got to figure out a way to get them all in one place.

Quite right.

-Some kind of a tryout. -Yes, a tryout.

Throw in a barbecue and a couple of kegs, they'll all show up.

The mooch factor's pretty high with this crowd.

-A barbecue. That's a good idea. -[Furious groans]

What? Oh, bugger all, it's the Spleen. Play dead.

-Who's that? -Turn your head. Don't say anything.

[soles squeak]

[lisping] Hiya, fellas.

Word on the street is you're looking for superheroes.

[Furious] Uh-uh.

-Not really. No. -Actually, we're just leaving.

-Yes. Rotten luck. -Oh, here we go.

-[Furious] Perfect timing. -That's for you.

-Hamburger, right? -Yes, thank you.

Enjoy.

Why are you guys always dissing me? It hurts my feelings.

I'm a superhero too. I have powers.

-Really? Like what? -So glad you asked.

-Oh, no. -Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Well, it all started when I was just 13 years of age.

One day, while walking with some friends,

I accidentally cut the cheese.

Well, in my adolescent awkwardness,

I blamed it on an old gypsy woman who happened to be passing by.

Big mistake!

The gypsy woman placed a curse upon my head.

Because I'd smelt it,

she decreed I would for evermore be he who dealt it!

-Let me illustrate. -No, you don't have to.

It's not necessary, really.

Let's see.

Distance: seven meters.

Air speed: normal.

Compensate for air conditioning.

-Pull my fingers. -[Shoveler] Don't do it.

[Blue Raja] Oh, dear God.

S.B.D.!

[groaning]

Silent but deadly.

-That's good shooting. -[laughs] That was amazing!

It's disgusting. Don't encourage him.

Hey, you guys are recruiting for superheroes.

-Unhand that. Fork it over. -Where you holding the tryouts?

We don't know, we don't know yet,

but as soon as we figure that out, we'll get in touch with you immediately.

I bet we'd get a big turnout if we did it somewhere with a swimming pool.

Hmm. Hmm.

Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.

Absolutely not. Nope. No.

[cheering]

Oh. I don't deserve this.

-I know. -[groans]

A lot of other men I could have married, Eddie.

-Still are. -I understand.

If one person vomits in my pool, I'm gonna divorce you.

-That's fair. -Mm-hmm.

Come on, kids!

♪ Don't stop, keep on doin' what you're doin' ♪

♪ Gotta keep movin' Don't stop ♪♪

All right, state your name and power.

I am the Waffler.

With my griddle of justice, I bash the enemy in the head

-or I burn them like so. -[sizzling]

[groans] Don't do that.

I also have my truth syrup, which is low fat.

And I've been working on a theme song.

♪ Waffle man I am the Waffler ♪

♪ Golden crispy Bad guys are history, yeah ♪♪

[mimics action theme music]

And I'm running. You know, just think about it.

Do you have a health plan, by the way? Maybe dental? Eye?

-Next. -Hi. Uh, I am Pencilhead.

And I am Son of Pencilhead!

-[Pencilhead] We erase crime. -Two generations of--

-Right. -Yes, thank you.

-Did I do all right? -Yeah, I think they liked us.

[Blue Raja] Now, say--

I'm... the Ballerinaman.

-Ah. -Oh. I don't need to see that.

[ballet music]

Thanks.

-I am-- -Hey!

-You copied me. -You copied me.

-Did not! -Liar!

-Ladies, now let's play nicely. -[groans]

[grunting, screaming]

-♪ Whatever happened to all the heroes ♪ -I'd say there's potential...

-there. -I be the Bullfighter.

I fight the bull!

Greetings, fellow crime fighters. I am Radio Man.

-♪ Whatever happened to the heroes ♪ -I am Squeegee Man.

-Do you sense its power? -Yes.

P.M.S. Avenger. I only work four days a month. Is there a problem with that?

-No. -No.

No.

-No, whatever you say. -We'll get back to you.

-[Blue Raja] Quite all right. -Whatever.

Okay, that's it.

♪ No more heroes anymore ♪

♪ No more heroes anymore

-♪ No more heroes anymore ♪ -[water splashing]

♪ No more heroes anymore ♪

[Shoveler] Well, that was a complete waste of time.

[Furious] Like so many things we do.

Hi. Hi, you guys. Am I too late to try out?

-What time is it? -I don't have a watch on.

Yeah. Sorry. You'll have to pretend to be a superhero somewhere else.

Really? I see.

That's fine.

[eerie humming]

[eerie humming]

[humming continues]

[heroes screaming]

Look out!

-[heroes screaming] -Look out!

-[heroes shouting] -Look out!

I guess I'll just have to take my ball and go home.

-[heroes chattering] -No. You can't go. Miss, please.

-Where you going? -Wow, that was cool.

-One second. -Stop her.

-Hold on. -Stop her. Whoa.

Settle down.

-Wow, that was great. -My, my, my.

We might be able to squeeze in one more interview.

[Blue Raja] Yes, seeing as how you schlepped your ball all this way.

-Appreciate that. Thanks. -You're really good.

What's up? I'm the Spleen.

I'm the Bowler. How you doing?

You're very attractive. [clicks tongue]

[Blue Raja] It's a different consistency.

[Bowler] That's because it's ambrosia.

Which is different from fruit salad.

Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself.

Help us understand why we should choose you

over all the other qualified applicants.

-What other qualified applicants? -Eddie, please.

Start at the top. Where did you get your powers?

Mmm. Uh, I got my powers from my father.

Oh, okay. Who's he?

Have you ever heard of Carmine the Bowler?

-Have we ever heard-- -Cor!

Blimey, miss, don't tell us you're the Bowler's daughter.

I seem to remember there being a little controversy around his death.

That's right. The police said it was an accident.

He'd come home late one night and fell down an elevator shaft...

onto some bullets.

You know, I've always suspected a bit of foul play.

As have I.

[Furious] So now daddy's little girl is all grown up,

looking for a little revenge, is that it?

Yeah, that is it. Is there a problem with that?

-Why don't you tell me? -I don't know. You tell me.

-Why don't you tell me? -Why don't you tell me?

-Why don't you tell me? -Why don't you tell me?

-Why don't you tell me? -Why don't you tell me?

[scoffs] Ooh.

All right. You've seen what I can do.

You either want to use my talents or you don't.

If you don't, I seek another cabal, and we do it that way.

-We need you. We definitely need you. -Indeed.

Bowler-- Evelyn--

-Carol. -Carol.

Will you join our little ragtag trio?

I think you mean quartet, see, 'cause--

What are you talking about? There's five of us.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, first of all,

nobody's green lit any new memberships yet, all right? So just chill out.

All right?

Now, granted, you've got a good arm. I'll give you that.

-But we're in a lead codra-- -Cadre.

-You're in. -Welcome aboard.

-Guys, would you-- Will you-- -What? What's the problem?

Welcome.

-[Furious] Eddie-- -[Shoveler] What?

Nothing. No problem. Hey, welcome aboard.

Oh!

-[scoffs] -[chair clatters]

[Invisible Boy] What's up? Are Spleen and I on the team or not?

Look, in my opinion, which used to matter around here,

we shouldn't be flinging memberships

at every guy who puts together a pair of matching gloves and boots.

You guys just be sure to jump in when the action starts.

You do your share, we'll keep you around.

Maybe.

So you're a British man who converted to Islam sorta like Cat Stevens?

No. Until the early part of this century,

India was in fact part of the British Empire,

whose government there was called the British Raj,

after the Hindi word for "sovereignty."

-Furthermore-- -Wait. So sorry. What?

Dad--

No, he's not a commie nor a fruit.

Sorry.

His ignorance embarrasses me.

Sorry, but am I to understand that you've inserted your father's skull

inside of that ball for bowling?

No. Guy at the pro shop did it.

That was Casanova's limo.

You bet your sweet bippy it was. Come on! Let's turn this sucker around!

He's probably got Amazing in there.

-[Shoveler] Here we go. - I feel carsick.

Great.

So tell me, Tony, who can we count on seeing at my banquet tomorrow?

All the top gangs are gonna be there, Cas.

They wanna know what you got up your sleeve.

Mr. Casanova, I think we're being followed.

Let us say hello.

-[limo tires screeching] -[Shoveler] Oops.

What's he doing?

He's either very smart or very dumb.

[tires squealing]

[all yelling]

Hello.

I would like a double burger with the large fries.

-Do you boys want something to drink? -[Tonys laughing]

We think you did something bad to Captain Amazing.

We would like you to tell us where he is.

Captain who? This name does not ring any bells with me.

I don't like your tone, Frankenpuss.

Do yourself a favor and don't punch my clock.

Because I'm a Pantera's box you do not want to open.

It is Pandora.

Uh, please don't correct me.

It sickens me.

You guys never learn, do you?

Apparently we don't, ass.

-I know you. -You don't know me.

-You knew my father. -Sal.

-Carmine. -Carmine.

Carmine? The Bowler?

-Yep. -You're Baby Bowler?

-Is that a problem? -Hello.

I'm the guy that gave your daddy the shaft.

-[Tony P laughs] -This is the last time

I'm going to ask you:

Where is Captain Amazing?

Und a diet Pepsi with a little bit of ice.

[Invisible Boy] Hey, Shove!

[Frankenstein] Okay, boys, let's go.

[grunts]

-Fork yourself! -Whoa!

Oh.

-Pull! -[farts]

-[coughing] -[screaming]

Come on, Roy. Let's get out of here.

-Come on, Furious! Let's go! -[grunts]

People who live in glass houses, shouldn't.

Because this is what happens!

-[groans] -Come on! That's enough!

Come on. Get out of the way.

♪ The roof is on fire The roof ♪

♪ The roof The roof is on fire ♪

♪ We don't need no water We don't need no water ♪♪

Here comes Daddy. [grunts]

[gasps, screams]

-[grunts] -Go, go, go!

[tires screeching]

-[firing] -[bullets ricocheting]

[Frankenstein laughing]

[continues laughing]

[bullets ricocheting]

[Furious] I would like to make a toast to our first straight-out victory.

-[Blue Raja] Stunning victory. Hear! Hear! -[Bowler cheering]

Be that as it may, the relationship that you have with your mother

affects every other dynamic in your life.

-It's impossible-- What? What? -It's true, quite true.

Yes, a father's role is vital in a child's life as well. I know this.

No, I'm not disrespecting you.

You have to respect me too.

You have to allow me to have conversations in a bar-type situation

and talk to my new friends.

Anyway, I'm an adult now.

Do you want to go back in the bag?

Is that how we're gonna do it now? You make the rules.

If you don't zip it--

-[Bowler] Sheesh. -[clicking, kissing]

[Blue Raja] I was going to say that parents can be quite problematic.

[Bowler] Tell me about it.

-[both continue chatting] -[kissing, clicking]

[sniffing] There's not enough beer in the world, Spleen.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

-It's okay. It's okay. -[Bowler] Listen.

You've got to live in truth. Correct?

The woman's a tiger. [growls]

[hiccups]

Barkeep, another round

for my sweet team of super friends.

-[Spleen] Barkeep, another round-- -[hits tooth, groans]

[slurring] ...for the super-- super bellies.

-[Blue Raja] Yes, to all of us. -[Bowler] Yay!

-Hear! Hear! -That's what's so cool about this team.

I mean, everyone has their own powers for all these different situations.

-Pull my finger. [laughs] -[laughing]

-What? -I was just thinking.

I was wondering when we might see your super power.

It'll happen, kid. Don't worry.

-[Bowler] I say, "sabatage.” -[Blue Raja] "Sabatage"?

-[Bowler] "Sabatage." -The Shoveler is hammered!

[Spleen slurring] The Shoveler is hammered! The Shoveler is hammered!

[disco music]

[Invisible Boy] So what's the name of this team?

-How about the Super Squad? -How about the Six Dead Guys

in Their Stupid Costumes?

No, no, no. The Magnificent Dead Guys. How about that?

What about the Legendary Super Freaks?

Way too positive. They totaled our car.

-Ready? -Ready!

-[Tony P] Aim. -Aim!

I love you!

Fire!

-[gasps] -[Disco Boys] Huh? What?

Okay, okay. Six Very Nearly Dead Guys With a Temporary Reprieve.

-That's it. That's your name. -Six Jive Turkeys.

-Dig, man? -Yeah! Dig, man!

That's your name. Kill you later, super losers!

[gong sounds]

Criminy. You're the Sphinx.

And you are fools.

Tonight...

you proved...

your inexperience.

The wise man knows that he is weakest...

when he thinks himself strong.

Whoa.

Mysterious.

Terribly mysterious.

[Sphinx] Casanova Frankenstein...

is no ordinary villain.

To fight him,

you must have extraordinary skill.

Oh, thank you. Thank you for that little piece of information.

I wouldn't have thought we needed extraordinary--

[Bowler] Excuse me!

Does anybody have any manners?

-Do you mind? -[Furious] I don't know.

-Do I? -I don't know. Do you?

-Do I? -Why don't you tell me?

-Why don't you tell me? -Why don't you tell me?

-Why don't you tell me? -I don't know. You tell me.

Do I mind what? Do I?

-Silence! -Hey, hey. We'll have to separate you two.

Is that what you want? You want to be separated?

He started it.

You must be like the wolf pack,

not like the six-pack.

Teamwork. Yes!

You are not ready to face so great an enemy,

not until you have vanquished the enemy within yourselves.

-Yes! -[scoffs]

It's cool, isn't it? It goes right up to the point of being, like, confusing.

It's leadership. It's what we've been missing.

[Blue Raja] Yes, I quite agree.

Sphinx, will you guide our motley little gang of men-at-arms?

Hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute.

Are you serious? Come on.

Will you shape us, mold us?

[Bowler] Please unify us and make us whole.

To learn my teachings,

I must first teach you how to learn.

-[heroes gasping] -[metal clattering]

[Blue Raja grunting]

-[continues grunting] -[cat yowls]

Learn to hide your strikes from your opponent,

and you'll more easily strike his hide.

[grunting] Ooh.

[shouting] I did it!

-How many weapons do you wield? -Just one, Sphinx.

No. The fist, the knee, the elbow, the head!

You must lash out with every limb

like the octopus who plays the drums.

[groans]

Why am I doing this again?

When you can balance a tack hammer on your head,

you will head off your foes will a balanced attack.

And why am I wearing the watermelon on my feet?

I don't remember telling you to do that.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait.

Wait. Wait a--

[squishing sound]

[man] ♪ Hey, now you're an all-star ♪

♪ Get your game on Go play ♪

-Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! -♪ And all that glitters is gold ♪

-♪ Only shooting stars break the mold ♪♪ -[farting]

I believe in my powers.

[all] I believe in my powers.

I believe in the powers of my teammates.

[weakly] I believe in the powers of my teammates.

I trust in my powers.

[loudly] I trust in my powers.

I trust in the powers of my teammates.

[weakly] I trust in the powers of my teammates.

This team must learn to work together

or, mark my words, it will be torn apart!

Now, gather round.

Gather round. Embrace one another.

Gather round. Embrace one another quickly.

[Shoveler] Roy.

Why do you stand aside while the others practice?

"Practice"?

That's not practicing. That's group hugging.

We should be busting in on Casanova right now.

He who questions training, only trains himself at asking questions.

What?

Who was looking for the pinking shears?

Oh, that was me.

[Sphinx] Ah, yes, work well on your new costumes, my friends.

For when you care for what is outside,

what is inside cares for you.

You know, the clock is ticking here.

Are we gonna sew dresses all day or are we gonna rescue Amazing?

-I need a thimble. Does anybody-- -Patience, my son.

To summon your power for the conflict to come,

you must first have power over that which conflicts you.

Okay, am I the only one who finds these sayings just a little formulaic?

"If you want to push something down, you have to pull it up."

"If you want to go left, you have to go right."

Your temper is very quick, my friend, but until you learn to master your rage--

Your rage will become your master?

That's what you were gonna say, right? Right?

Not necessarily.

Okay, you know what? That's it. I'm outta here.

Thanks for all the advice, Mr. Mysterioso, but it's time to get busy with it.

-Come on, Eddie. Let's go. -No, Roy.

-I think he's getting results. -Yeah, and the biggest one is

that we're all outta here.

Come on, Jeff. Let's peel some wheelies. Let's go.

I don't want to leave the Sphinx.

Okay, how about the rest of you, huh?

You want to play Suzy Homemaker with Captain Conundrum

or do you want to be superheroes?

Shut up.

Okay, I don't need a compass to tell me which way the wind shines.

-Roy, wait, let's talk about this. -No, Eddie, let's not talk about it!

You wanna sit here and make Halloween outfits with Little Red Riding Hood,

or you wanna take care of business?

Well, I guess from now on I ride in a wolf pack... of one.

We should go after him.

-He's okay. -Just let him go. He's a baby.

-We've never gone into battle without him. -Oh, geez.

If you love him so much, why don't you marry him?

I don't know. Why don't you marry him?

-Why don't you? -Why don't you?

Why don't you?

-[motorcycle departing] -[Blue Raja] Bowler, Shoveler, please!

Sphinx, what wisdom can you give us in this, our most beclouded hour?

[Invisible Boy] Yeah, what do we do?

The loss of manpower can be replaced

by the addition of firepower.

Oh. Well, I won't use guns.

-I've been crystal clear about that. -He won't even use a knife.

You're not going to start with that meshugas again, are you?

Casanova will have many weapons.

To beat him, you will have to have more than forks and flatulence.

[sighs]

Heller.

"Dr. A. Heller. Weapons designer.

Innovator, inventor, world changer.”

[Bowler, Spleen singing "Hello Dolly" in French]

[music continues]

[Spleen singing in French]

[Bowler] Why does he live in a deserted amusement park?

[Spleen] Because he's an eccentric genius, that's why.

All right, I'll take point. You two flank. Let's triangulate.

-Equilateral or isosceles? -Just go.

[chicken clucking]

-[machinery humming] -[clucking continues]

Who would want to rent a chicken?

It's weird in here. It's scary and weird.

[machinery humming]

[Bowler] Oh, there's another chicken.

-Crazy chicken world. -[clucking continues]

Dr. Heller?

[Bowler] Whoa, whoa!

-[hair dryer blowing] -We come in peace.

-[blowing stops] -Shovel Head?

The Shoveler. Yes, sir. We met at the old folks' home.

Of course. Fork Man?

No, I'm the Spleen.

If you want to know what my power is, pull my finger.

-[Bowler] Please, don't! -No, sir, don't.

Dr. Heller, we're on a mission. We've come for weapons.

Shouldn't we see a diploma or something first?

You came to the right place, baby. Step into my office.

Where are your friends?

What friends?

Your friends. I thought you guys were in a... club or something.

You mean a team? A super team?

Yeah.

Well, apparently, it's now, like, the Super Sphinx Team or something.

-You had a falling out? -Yeah, kind of.

Is it okay if I just have the coffee?

-I'm not very hungry. -Sure.

Hey, um,

what time do you get off work?

Half hour.

Why?

Uh, no reason. I was just thinking maybe I could, uh--

It might be a good idea if I walked you home.

'Cause the city's been real, real dangerous

since Amazing went M.I.A.

You know, and, uh, um--

I've been working on some jujitsu moves that--

You know, just probably be safer on everybody's part if--

And also it would be great to just...

walk you home.

Sure.

-[chicken clucking] -[Spleen] Wow!

This will even things up a little bit. What is it?

-Look at this! Pow, pow, pow! -[Bowler] Don't point it at me.

-You're gonna kill somebody. -Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Listen, everything here is nonlethal.

"Nonlethal"? What?

I don't make anything that's deadly.

Oh, oh, I see, I see.

How delightfully eccentric,

while simultaneously being a complete waste of our time.

-No offense. Shall we? -Thank you, Doctor.

-I said good day. -See you, Doc.

[Bowler] That is why, in general, a mad scientist is less desirable

than a garden-variety scientist.

-Incoming! -[lid pops]

-Look out! -Watch out!

[Spleen screaming]

[screaming]

[screaming continues]

-[farts] -Ooh.

Doc, you're a genius.

A canned tornado, huh?

Totally nonlethal but totally effective.

What is this thing you were handling before?

That's a shrinker.

How do you know? Oh, a manual. Cool.

That's a high-temperature fabric adhesive liquid projector

based on simple dry-cleaning technology.

You aim that at a guy and,

I'll tell you something, his clothes get so tight he can't even breathe.

[sniffs]

I can trick that out with a clams hell holster.

It comes with a leather carrying case.

It's got a wad cutter and a full warranty.

Nicely done.

What do you call this?

Careful, careful. That's a blame thrower.

"A blame thrower"? Oh! Oh! I-I'm sorry.

Your bad attitude is hurting this team!

[high-pitched] Stop spitting on me! I already took a shower!

[high-pitched] You need another shower 'cause you stink!

-Want me to get that zit for you? -Ooh, I'm really shaking!

I'm sorry! I'm sorry if I spit all the time!

-[weapon powering down] -Oh--

-I'm sorry. -I'm sorry. No, no. No.

No, no, no. No.

Doctor, you are a genius.

That's what the card says.

[Furious] I wanna be with them when they go rescue Amazing.

[waitress] So why don't you just go back?

No, I couldn't go back. I just left this morning. That would be--

-This is my place. -That'd be ridiculous.

They're your friends. They'll understand.

Look, it's clearly what you wanna do, you know?

You know, that actually could work.

I mean, I'm Mr. Furious, right?

I'm unpredictable. I'm a loose cannon.

I go storming off. Why can't I come storming back? Huh?

-It's all in how you play it, right? -Or... don't play it.

Just go back, say you're sorry and help them save Captain Amazing.

You think there's a really angry way I could say I'm sorry?

Just "cause that's kind of my--

I gotta stick with the anger thing 'cause people like that.

[sighs]

Maybe people like you for who you really are.

You know?

Okay, I'm gonna go.

You should go find your friends.

Good.

Now, the three of you will be like the eagle's claw.

You will snatch up the hostage and carry him to safety.

We three scouts will be like the eagle's eye:

ever watchful for danger.

-Are you ready? -Yes.

-Ready. -Ready.

Then let operation Three-Eyed, Three-Legged Eagle begin.

[each caws individually, then together]

Shotgun!

I think not, my friend. [scoffs]

-[motorcycle approaching] -[Spleen, Raja bickering]

[Blue Raja] Crazed silly twit.

Give me a second.

-Hey. -Hey. What's up?

Not a lot. What's up with you?

Nothing much.

Hey, I was wondering, have you seen my address book?

No. What did it look like?

Uh, it's denim.

It says "Hang loose" on it with a picture of a kitten.

No.

You should probably think about where you saw it last.

Right.

Well, I should probably, um--

Look, Eddie, there's something I want to say, okay?

I'm angry. I'm angry about being left out of this mission,

and I'm angry about what's happening with this team,

but I'm-- I'm--

[groaning] Oh, boy.

Temperature rising.

Vision blurring.

Rage taking over.

Roy, I got an idea.

-Why don't you come with us? -Okay.

Rage subsiding.

[sighs] Pulse slowing.

Anger fading. [sighs]

Hoo. That was quick thinking, Eddie.

-[sighs] -Well, I wouldn't want anyone to get hurt.

[dance music]

[man] ♪ Why must you record my phone calls? ♪

Yeah!

♪ Are you planning a bootleg LP? ♪

♪ Said you've been threatened by gangsters ♪

♪ Now it's you that's threatening me ♪

-Drink, drink, drink! -Mazel tov!

-[hooting] -[music continues]

[Blue Raja] Right then. I'll go and scout out a way in.

-What should the signal be? -[Shoveler] Ca-ree. Ca-ree, ca-roo.

No, no, what about: "Whip-poor-will, whip-poor-will"?

-No, ca-ree, ca-roo. -Yes, but isn't that better?

-[Bowler] Not interested. -Shh, shh!

Enough with the cuckoo!

-We have to find an open window. -That's what I just said.

Go, go!

[Furious grunting]

[Frankenstein] Does everyone have a drink?

-[man] Casanova! -You're all good?

Good. Well, it is wonderful in my heart...

to see so many familiar faces once again.

The Susies, assassins from the East.

The Suits, downsizing all those who dare oppose them.

Und the Furriers, always dressed to kill.

[purring]

[hissing]

Und the Frat Boys, still on probation for lethal hazing.

Phi Zeta!

Und, of course,

-the Not So Goody Mob-- -Yeah!

...putting the rhyme into crime!

The pleasure's all mine, Frankenstein.

We're about to perpetrate some evil on these Champion City people.

-Rappin', snappin', cappin'. -Yeah.

Tonight... we are having quite a party, a surprise party.

I have a little something up my sleeve,

und I'm not just talking about the wart on my elbow.

[laughing]

I have created a beautiful machine

that is going to encourage our fellow citizens

to share my vision of the world!

[cheering]

-Can you dig it? -[guests] Yeah!

-Whoo! -What about Captain Amazing?

[frat boys agreeing]

That is an excellent question, Big Tobacco.

What are we going to do

about the greatest superhero Champion City has ever known?

For the answer, I want you all to walk this way.

Dude, can we, uh, bring the brewskis?

Yes, of course. You may absolutely bring the brewskis.

Yeah!

[Spleen] Things look pretty quiet to me.

[sniffing]

Hey, Invisible Boy, did you just let one go?

-No, no, that wasn't me. -Well, it wasn't me.

-[Spleen gasps] -[squeaking]

[squeaking continues]

-[gasps] -Don't run! He'll shoot!

[whimpering]

Is he doing what I think he's doing?

-Just go with it. -[Skunk grunting]

-[operatic aria music] -[continues grunting]

-[Bowler] Can anybody see anything? -[man] Hey!

-[Bowler] Who said, "Hey"? -[Shoveler] Not me.

[Furious] Eddie, you don't have to say, "Not me,"” okay?

If someone says, "Who?" and you say--

Hey, morons, over here.

[Blue Raja] It's Captain Amazing!

We've been looking for you.

Yeah. There's a light switch behind you there. Turn it on.

-[Blue Raja] My, my, my. -[Shoveler] Oh, no.

[Blue Raja] Well, well. Well, we meet again, eh, Captain?

-[Shoveler] We're here to rescue you. -Yeah.

Blue Raja. Do you recall me, sir?

Master of silverware.

You told me to keep up the good work after the Red Eye skirmish.

I meet so many people in this business, but I-- I think so.

Could you two locate the master ignition switch over there on the main console?

Maybe you could open that up.

Have you out of here in two shakes of a lamb's tail, Captain.

-Frightfully uncomfortable. -Great.

-[Bowler] How does this work? -I've seen one of these things.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, you gotta like push this thing in and twist it.

-Don't force it! Don't force it! -[Amazing] She's right, my little friend.

This contraption is, in fact, a weapon of mass destruction.

Casanova plans to turn it against the city at midnight.

Hey, something's happening. Something's happening.

Very good. Now, on the wall to your left

you should see two toggles side-by-side.

"Toggles"? What do you mean "toggles"? You talking about switches?

-[Bowler] I see them, Captain. -Thank you.

-Flip the first toggle. -[Bowler] Flipping.

-[electricity crackling] -Excellent work.

-Now, flip the-- -[Blue Raja] Jolly good work, team!

-Jolly good! -Could you just te-te-te--

Over there, please?

Of course.

Sorry.

-Now flip the second toggle. -Do as he says, Bowler.

The man knows what of he speaks.

Captain, I'm just gonna ask you directly: Do you know billionaire Lance Hunt?

It's me.

No, I'm kidding with you. I've always wanted to do that.

-[Bowler] What's next? -I just told you, flip the second toggle.

-Again? -What do you mean?

-Flip the toggle twice? -[Amazing] No. No, no, no.

No, don't do that. Just flip it again now, one time. Flip it.

Does he understand what I'm asking?

Hold on a second. Captain, exactly how many toggle flips, in Toto,

are involved in this procedure?

I just-- It's-- S-Seven!

-"Seven"? -Flip it!

-Seven? -Hold the phone.

Everybody, hold the phone.

You phrased that incorrectly.

We need to know how many toggle flips are needed,

not counting the gratuitous toggle flip you may have asked for

-in a moment of panic. -Flip it!

-I-- -Okay, you know what?

Could we just start again?

Is there some sort of reset button on this thing?

[Amazing] No, you little freak, there's no button for resetting.

Flip the switch, lady. Don't stare at me. Lift your left arm. Flip it, you moron!

-Whoa. I am not a moron. -[Amazing] You're a moron!

-Do not call her a moron. That's not cool. -Thank you.

- I will do it! I'll do it! -Flip the switch, lady!

Don't look at me like that!

-It's this one, yes? -[Bowler screams]

[electricity crackling]

-Uh-oh! -[gasps]

[Amazing] Wrong switch. [screams]

[screaming]

[weapon powering down]

Everybody heard me say "reset button,” right?

Oh, my God. Oh, my God, we killed him.

What do you mean "we"? I was right here.

I'm gonna check his pulse.

[gulps] I don't think he's gonna pull through.

[door opening]

[Shoveler] Shh. Somebody's coming. We gotta get outta here.

-Get out of here! -[gagging]

Everybody should just keep holding their horses.

[Furious] Go, go, go, go, go, go!

[man] What the hell, man?

[speaking German]

-[man coughs] -[woman] Ew!

-This sucker's dead. -[Big Tobacco] What happened to him?

As you can see, I have taken Captain Amazing...

-out of the picture. -[laughter]

It's time for us to rule.

[cheering]

Tonight at midnight, I'm going to do to Champion City

what I have done to its greatest superhero.

Und there'll still be time to go up, get down und boogie.

[cheering]

-Come on. Let's get out of here. -[Spleen] Where's Captain Amazing?

[Blue Raja] There's been a bit of a cock-up.

-[Bowler] Raja murdered him! -[Blue Raja] I didn't murder anyone!

[Furious] Guys, I think we got bigger fish to fry right now.

-What the hell was that machine in there? -I don't know.

But I know where we can go to find out.

The vermin are back, Tony.

Vermin should be exterminated, Casanova.

A fish fork is no match for my machine!

But I think we should take out some insurance.

Don't you think?

[Heller] It's a psychofrakulator.

It creates a cloud of radically fluctuating free-deviant chaotrons

which penetrate the synaptic relays.

It's concatenated with a synchronous transport switch

that creates a virtual tributary.

It's focused onto a biobolic reflector.

And-And-And what happens is that hallucinations become reality...

and the brain is literally fried from within.

-Where would you get something like that? -I don't know.

They used to say it couldn't be built.

The equations were so complex that most of the scientists who worked on it...

wound up in the insane asylum.

Which is where Casanova's been hanging for the last 20 years.

If he turned that thing on the city, it'll waste everything in sight.

-[Bowler] Not "if." When. -We need Captain Amazing.

Yes, but, unfortunately, we just killed him. So--

Uh, no, unfortunately, you killed him.

Just because you're having problems at home

don't mean you can go around killing people.

"Oh, sorry. Mummy, sorry. Oh. I'm English. Oh! I didn't mean it."

K-I-L-L-E-D. You killed him!

You killed him. You did. You were the one who flicked the switch.

It's the same difference. He's still dead!

-Nobody-- You did kind of-- -Sphinx!

Sphinx, what in heaven's name do we do?

Sometimes...

the true hero is the one with the courage to run away.

-I like the way this man thinks. -Let's run.

-[all talking over each other] -We can't run.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes. It's been established that we can run.

This is egg salad.

It's loaded with cholesterol. The wife won't even let me touch it.

Hardly seems to matter now. "Cause chances are, we're already dead.

Amazing is gone.

There's no use waiting for the cavalry, because as of this moment,

the cavalry is us.

-Yeah, but I don't wanna get frakulated. -Psychofrakulated.

-Still get frakulated. -This is our fight,

whether we like it or not.

Just we few. We're not your classic superheroes.

We're not the favorites. We're the other guys.

We're the guys nobody ever bets on.

But I'll tell you what I think.

You and that ball of yours have an appointment that you've gotta keep.

Invisible Boy, I think it's time you were seen.

Sphinx, you have trained us well.

And, Dr. Heller, you might just have given us the edge we need.

And, Spleen, I don't wanna stand behind you.

But I'll fight beside you with pride.

Jeff, you've got a rare and beautiful gift.

The city needs you tonight.

And, Roy, in all the years I've known you,

I've never seen you walk away from a fight.

Why, you lifted a city bus once, man.

I think you've got what it takes to handle Casanova.

We're all in over our heads, and we know it.

But if we take on this fight, those of us who survive it

will forever after show our scars with pride and say, "That's right.

I was there. I fought the good fight."

So, what do you say?

Do we all gather together and go kick some Casanova butt,

or do I eat this sandwich?

I say, what the fork. Let's do it.

[all cheering]

If you're gonna bust into that mansion,

you're gonna need more than a station wagon.

At the yard, there's this old Herkimer battle jitney.

-Sally's always telling me to "junk it"! -Wait!

You have a Herkimer battle jitney?

That's the finest nonlethal military vehicle ever made.

All right. We'll meet at the junkyard. We'll go from there.

I shall need more forks, I'm afraid.

Those of you with loved ones, say good-bye before we go.

You may not get another chance.

[all] Zei gezunt.

[silverware clinking]

[gasps] Hey, Mom.

Jeffrey, what are you doing?

Um, I was just, um, uh, um-- I'm, uh--

[exhales]

I'm a superhero, Mother.

A superhero?

An effete British superhero, to be precise.

I am pilfering your tableware because I hurl it.

I hurl it with a deadly accuracy. The Blue Raja is my name.

And, yes, I know. I don't wear much blue, and I speak in a British accent.

But if you know your history, it makes perfect sense.

The point is, your boy's a Limey fork-flinger, Mother.

Hard cheese to swallow, I know, but there it is.

What will the bridge club think?

You need more forks?

Oh!

These belonged to your great-great grandmother.

I was saving these for your wedding day.

But from the looks of it, that day, it's probably a long way off.

Oh, Mom, you're-- you're taking this incredibly well.

You know, I've always known you were special, Jeffrey,

but I-- I just never realized how special.

Well, I'd better get going.

I've got a city to save.

-Jeffrey? -Yeah?

-Do the accent. -Oh, uh, well-- [clears throat]

Uh, well, I'd love to stay and chitchat, Mother, but I fear I must away with me.

Our metropolis is in the clutches of a madman.

-Jeffrey? Cheerio. -Yeah.

-I-- I-- I really should get going. -Oh. Okay.

Thanks, Ma.

[sighs]

I said I was gonna leave you, Eddie, and I meant it.

The city's in peril, Lucille. We're the best hope they've got.

Eddie, please don't start.

I don't expect you to believe me.

I just came by to tell you... that I love you.

Tell the kids I love 'em.

And now, good-bye.

Good-bye, Eddie.

I won't be here when you come home.

Well, that's a chance I'm gonna have to take.

Otherwise, there may not be a home to come back to.

Wish me luck.

-Hi. -Hi.

-You okay? -Yeah. I just wanted to say

I had a great time tonight.

And you were really nice to me.

And I would love to, uh-- to ask you out sometime.

But if I don't call you, I just want you to know it's because I'm dead.

-Hmm. -Yeah, me and my team,

we're gonna take on Casanova Frankenstein.

And, uh, it's pretty much a suicide mission.

So, uh, if there is anything that you wanna say to me,

now would probably be a good time to say it, just 'cause--

-Okay. Yeah, I got a question for you. -Cool. Kick it.

What's your name?

Do you mean my secret identity? 'Cause I couldn't.

No, I just, you know, mean your name.

My name. Um-- Wow.

Okay, uh-- [chuckles]

It's... Phoenix.

Phoenix Dark.

Dirk. Phoenix--

Dark-Dirk. It was, uh--

I was christened Dirk Steele,

and I changed it to Phoenix.

Forget about it. It's okay.

It's Roy.

That's-- That's my name. My name is--

My real name is Roy.

Just... be... Roy.

Okay.

Roy, the Roy, Roy, Roy. I'm Roy. Yes, I'm Roy.

Roy. Who is Roy? Roy is who?

He's freaking out, man. He's freaking out.

Where's the guy who pretends not to be Roy? That's about all I know about Roy.

We've had quite enough of that. Just stop it.

Snap out of it. We're tired of it. Every man jack of us is.

I'm a wannabe. I am a wannabe. A true wannabe in the worst sense of the--

You guys are gonna have to fight this battle without me.

You start doubting your super powers, man, you are shafted.

If I had any super powers, I guess I would be in trouble, but I don't.

What do I do? I don't-- I go-- [growls]

What are you talking about? You lifted a bus once.

Precisely. That story's legendary.

It was really more of a... push, really, than a lift.

That still takes incredible superhuman strength.

It does, to push an entire bus out the way.

Actually, the driver kind of had his foot on the accelerator,

in the beginning, to get it going, then it actually was me.

But he kind of--

-Oh, shit. -Ooh.

Excuse me.

It's a process which results in an accelerated flow of electrons

that creates such a powerful magnetic force.

This is basically like a huge electromagnet.

Well, actually, it's an electro-nuclear-magnet.

-It's the next inevitable phase. -[Shoveler] Vis.

-Can you close up those jockey boxes? -Right on it.

[Shoveler] Let's get suited up. We're outta here in five.

It's time.

Let's go.

[thunder rumbling]

-Shotgun! -I've already called it, didn't I?

-Have a seat, my friend. -Everybody ready?

-Go. And we have liftoff. -[Blue Raja] May the forks be with us.

[all cheering]

-[Blue Raja] Oh. -[Shoveler] I'm sorry. Too much throttle.

[Furious] That's cool. I'm just gonna-- I'm gonna go.

-[Bowler] Yo, sit down! -[Shoveler] All right, here we go.

[horn honking]

Vaya con Dios.

[Shoveler] Somebody do something. We need him.

Okay, let's do this. You're a very furious man.

-Do you understand that? -No.

Well, you got a lot to be furious about, and I'll tell you why.

You're not well-liked. You're abrasive and off-putting.

You try and say pithy things, but your wit is a hindrance,

and so therefore, nothing is provocative.

It's just mixed metaphors. Now, doesn't that make you angry?

-Does it infuriate you? -No.

It should. Are you angry? Come on, man!

Your penmanship is atrocious.

You dress in the manner of a male prostitute.

Get real! I have no powers. I have no powers whatsoever.

If he has no powers, maybe I've got no powers.

Maybe I can't turn invisible at all.

Do not go there, my son.

When you doubt your powers, you give power to your doubts.

Um, I don't mean to be alarmist, but it's half 11:00 already.

Thirty minutes till Casanova blows up the city.

All right, now, listen. We've got a blind date with destiny.

And it looks like she's ordered the lobster.

-Hang on! -[engine revs]

[Shoveler] We're gonna ram the gate!

[all shouting]

[all shouting]

[man on stereo] ♪ Play that funky music white boy ♪

What do you think? Should we knock or just let ourselves in?

[shouting, screaming]

[man] Hit the ground!

-[gunfire] -[screams] They're shooting!

I hope this magnet thing works.

It's working.

-[gasps] -[gasping]

-Meow! -Go! Go!

Go! Quickly!

Everybody, into the disco room!

[panicked shouting]

[Frankenstein] Everyone, through here. Keep moving.

Focus, people. Focus. Let's go. Go! Go!

Hello?

Wait!

Laser eye.

I knew I should have brought my large pie server.

If we can't get through that door, this battle is over.

This is it. My time has come.

What are you talking about?

-Wait. Invisible Boy, wait a minute. -I wouldn't do that if--

Come back here, son. You'll be cremated.

It's all about me now.

-I'm the only one that can save us. -He's right.

-Good luck, son. -Nobody look at me.

-Don't look at him, or it won't work. - I am transparent.

I am like the window. I am see-through.

I'm like Saran Wrap.

I did it! I'm invisible!

I really do have super powers. Can you see me?

-Yes. -Yes.

Oh, yeah.

-Wow. -[Blue Raja] Two hands there, son.

Maybe you should put some shorts on or something

if you wanna keep fighting evil today.

Furriers, you will stay here und delay the attackers.

The Not So Goody Mob, you will flank them from behind.

The rest of you, into the atrium.

Und spread yourself out for a second wave of attack.

[shouting]

-Meow! -[purring]

The door. Door.

[Shoveler] On three. One, two, three.

-[shouting] -[karate yells]

[meowing]

[snarls, hisses]

Shrink 'em.

[groaning]

[whining]

-[clicks tongue] -[Furrier] Shrinking!

[Blue Raja] Oh, I say, they've gone from junior to missy petite.

Oh! My dress!

Now that's a wedgie she won't soon forget.

My pants feel like they're shrinking too.

[Not So Goody Mob shouting] Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! This way!

-[Shoveler] Blame thrower! -Look out!

Yo, yo, I got a bone to pick with you, homey.

[distorted voice] Hold it, hold it, hold it, Little Daddy.

[distorted voice] You know what? Y'all make me sick.

[arguing]

-Give me that gun! -Hey!

And three and four!

I got 'em.

-Disco forever! -Yeah!

Invisible Boy, Spleen. Susies.

[both grunting]

[karate yell]

[Shoveler grunts]

-[grunts] -[Shoveler shouts]

[groans]

Dig this, Shovel Man.

Duck! It's the Susies!

-Grab the gun! -It's stuck!

[Spleen] Coast clear?

Shoot anyway.

I'm scared!

No, you're not scared. Be strong. Be strong.

I am scared!

Say it with me. "I ain't scared of no Susies."

-I am scared of the Susies! -Say "I'm not scared of no Susies."

-I am scared of the Susies! -Come on. You ready?

Let's go!

Dive! Dive!

Ah! I'm hit! I'm hit!

-Where? Where? -I'm hit!

Medic! Medic! Man down!

-Man down! I can't feel my ass! -What?

-I can't feel my ass! -Your powers still work?

My powers? Yeah.

Weapons check. Okay.

Fire in the hole! Pull!

[farts]

It'll do. Spleen!

Go check on Spleen, okay?

-Thank you. Thank you. -Okay. All right.

You oughta run, Tony P.

You can't hurt me, Baby Bowler.

'Cause I'm protected...

by the god of hair care.

And it's time to send you back to your daddy.

-You killed my father. -That's right. 'Cause I'm a Kkiller.

And you're not. Let's face it, kid.

You don't have the guts to kill me.

You're right. I don't have the guts to kill you.

Because I'm better than you. Yeah, that's right.

A lot better.

You know, I may even find the courage to forgive you someday.

-Ah! -Ah!

Whoa!

-[groaning] -[bowling pins clatter]

Oh! Carmine, on the other hand, feels differently than I do about forgiveness.

Okay, now I'm going back to graduate school.

That was the agreement.

We're doing it. We're winning. We're gonna pull this off.

I wouldn't be so sure about that.

Tell your funny-looking friends to put down their weapons, Mr. Furious.

Just get out of here. He's crazy. Save yourselves.

Put them down or I will slash your girlfriend's pretty little throat.

-[waitress cries out] -Eddie, Jeff, do what he says.

[Frankenstein] Thank you.

It's so easy to get the best of people when they care about each other.

Which is why evil will always have the edge.

You good guys are always so bound by the rules.

[screaming]

You see, I kill my own men.

Und lucky me.

I get the girl.

No!

[shouting]

Don't worry. It will all be over so very quickly.

-Ah! -[gasps]

What are you doing?

They must have ripped the "Q" section out of my dictionary,

'cause I don't know the meaning of the word "quit."

Oh.

[hissing]

Ow! Ow.

Oh, you want a little fisticuffs? Okay.

-Get him. Get him, Roy. -Ooh, ooh. Ooh, ooh.

-[grunts] -Ooh.

[grunts] [Shoveler] Come on, Roy!

Roy, Roy, come on!

It's the funkyskunkulator!

-We've got to stop it. -Don't touch any toggles.

[Furious] Rage... taking over.

Ja, ja, ja. We've heard all that before.

[grunts] No, no, no.

Rage really taking over.

[shouting]

[hisses]

-[jabbering] -Ow!

[stuttering]

[shouting]

[screaming]

Frak-you later, Frankenpuss.

Yeah!

["Bionic Man" sound effect]

Get out of here.

-[Shoveler] Hit the deck! -[Blue Raja] Oh, dear!

How do we shut this thing down?

-Group hug! -Yeah!

-Yeah! -Okay!

Yeah!

-[Bowler] Hurry up! -[Furious] Get her closer to the hole!

Dad, this is the way it has to be.

The upshot is you won't be killed because you're already dead.

No, I'm not going with you.

If there's a time for separation, let me tell you something, this is it.

-All right, lift me up. -[Furious] Push her up.

[Shoveler] Help me lift her up. Help her.

-[Invisible Boy] You can do it. Hold on. -Whoo!

-[Furious] Do it! Do it! -I love you, Dad!

-Run! Run! -Let's get outta here!

-[all yelling] -[Sphinx] Run for your lives!

Run!

-Whoo! -[all shouting]

-Go! -Watch out!

[screams]

-Go! -Go!

[Becky] No one could survive the chaos we've just witnessed here.

But as the dust begins to settle over the ruins

of the Casanova's mansion,

the question remains.

Who were these brave heroes that gave their lives to save our city tonight?

Did that frakulator work, or what? What's the deal there?

[man] Look. Something's moving.

People are coming out.

-Could you tell us what's going on? -Hi. Hello. Excuse me.

Excuse me. Can you-- Can you tell us what happened here tonight?

-[Invisible Boy] We did it. -[Bowler] We won.

Hey, that's my team.

-That's my team! -We struck down evil

with the mighty sword of teamwork...

and the hammer of not bickering.

We are number one. All others are number two or lower.

-[Becky] Who are you guys? -It's okay.

-They call me the Shoveler. -That's my dad.

[whimpers]

-My hero. -I'm the Bowler.

-Hello. Hello. -[man] What's the deal with your forks?

Blue Raja, master of silverware. Hi, Mom.

-I mean, cheerio, Mummy. -Oh!

-Jeffrey. -[Becky] And you, sir.

What's your name and what's your superpower?

My name's Roy.

And, uh, I'm in a super amount of pain right now.

Could you please leave me alone?

His name is Mr. Furious, and his power comes from his boundless rage.

Excuse me. Could I say something?

I think we would all like this victory

to go out to all the other guys.

I'm talking about the people in this city who are super good at their jobs

but never get any credit, like the lady in the D.M.V.

-That's a rough job. -To the people that remember jingles

from tons of old commercials.

And people that support local music and seek out independent film.

And the guy that drives the snow plow. And the school nurse--

Eddie, Eddie, I think they got the point.

What's the name of this group?

-The Super Dudes. -No, no. No, no, no.

We're not the Super Dudes.

We don't have a name yet, but we're definitely not the Super Dudes.

I gotta get home. It's late.

-Picture! Picture time! -[siren wailing]

Well, whatever you call them,

Champion City will forever owe a debt of gratitude...

to these mystery men.

Wait. Wait. That's it. We are the Super Squad.

No! Please, no, alliteration in these situations is corny.

What? Yes.

We're all very aware that you saved the day,

and I'm sure we'll be hearing about it for the rest of our lives.

[man] ♪ Hey, now, you're an all-star ♪

♪ Get your game on Go play ♪

♪ Hey, now, you're a rock star Get the show on, get paid ♪

♪ All that glitters is gold ♪

♪ Only shooting stars break the mold ♪

♪ It's a cool place and they say it gets colder ♪

♪ You're bundled up now Wait till you get older ♪

♪ But the media man beg to differ ♪

♪ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture ♪

♪ The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin ♪

♪ The water's getting warm so you might as well swim ♪

♪ The world's on fire How about yours ♪

♪ That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored ♪

♪ Hey, now, you're an all-star Get your game on, go play ♪

♪ Hey, now, you're a rock star Get the show on, get paid ♪

♪ All that glitters is gold ♪

♪ Only shooting stars break the mold ♪

[man] Go for the moon.

♪ Go, go, go ♪

Go for the moon.

♪ Go, go ♪

Go for the moon.

♪ Go, go ♪ Go for the moon.

♪ Hey, now, you're an all-star Get your game on, go play ♪

♪ Hey, now, you're a rock star Get the show on, get paid ♪

♪ And all that glitters is gold ♪

♪ Only shooting stars ♪

♪ Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas ♪

♪ I need to get myself away from this place ♪

♪ I said yep what a concept, I could use a little fuel myself ♪

♪ And we could all use a little change ♪

♪ Well, the years start comin' and they don't stop comin' ♪

♪ Back to the rules and I'll hit the ground running ♪

♪ Didn't make sense not to live for fun ♪

♪ Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb ♪

♪ So much to do so much to see ♪

♪ So what's wrong with takin' the back streets ♪

♪ You'll never know if you don't go, go ♪

♪ You'll never shine if you don't glow ♪

♪ Hey, now, you're an all-star Get your game on, go play ♪

♪ Hey, now, you're a rock star Get the show on, get paid ♪

♪ And all that glitters is gold ♪

♪ Only shooting stars break the mold ♪

♪ And all that glitters is gold ♪

♪ Only shooting stars break the mold ♪

♪ And all that glitters is gold ♪

♪ Only shooting stars break the mold ♪

Go for the moon. ♪ Go, go, go ♪

Go for the moon. ♪ Go, go ♪

Go for the moon. ♪ Go, go ♪♪

[rap music]

♪ Oh, oh, heroes ♪

♪ My main men, mystery men ♪

♪ Men of the hour with supreme power devour your whole set ♪

♪ Y'all ain't ready yet We are the best, notorious but anonymous ♪

♪ Mysterious You figure we dangerous ♪

♪ They're calling us and we go to war ♪

♪ And give the competitor what he askin' for ♪

♪ Bustin' through walls bustin' through floors ♪

♪ Bustin' through ceilings bustin' through doors ♪

♪ Surprise, here come the good guys Realize it don't stop ♪

♪ When Casanova sells the block who needs the cops ♪

♪ We got a hero on our block ♪

♪ We're comin' to save the day We won't play ♪

♪ You doin' wrong, you won't stay We make you run away ♪

♪ Watch where you lay ♪

♪ Mystery men are here to make the world okay ♪

♪ And I can still hear 'em say ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo ♪

♪ Who are they? ♪

♪ There's only one thing that I need to know ♪

-♪ Who are those mystery men? ♪ -♪ Oh, oh, heroes ♪

♪ We got our capes and boots My troop and group and get loose ♪

♪ Double boost and swoop on these villains like oomps ♪

♪ We got our capes and boots My troop and group and get loose ♪

♪ Double boost the swoop on these villains like oh, oh ♪

♪ Comin' to get ya ♪

♪ One gone, one in the mixture one in the chrome ♪

♪ Not for long, one in the picture Mystery man will seize ya ♪

♪ Yo, blast for me Ready to put it down for the block ♪

♪ Actually, ready to put it down for Chevy and Cindy ♪

♪ Rollin' the Herkimer Sittin' on 20 East ♪

♪ Beatin' the town up till the trunk frown up ♪

♪ They got Captain Amazing Y'all down or what? ♪

♪ Cello Lug just dug up a pound of her ♪

♪ Disco Boys thinkin' they soundin' rough ♪

[rapping indistinctly]

-Who are they? -♪ Who are they? ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪

Who are they?

♪ There's only one thing that I need to know ♪

We gonna show y'all how to do it on our side of the block.

-♪ Who are these heroes? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh ♪

♪ There's only one thing that I need to know ♪

-♪ No, no, no, no, no ♪ -♪ Who are these heroes? ♪

-♪ Those mystery men ♪♪ -Who are they?

[guitar music]

♪ Sometimes ♪

♪ I feel like I could do anything, yeah ♪

♪ Sometimes I'm so alive ♪

♪ La-ah-ah, sometimes ♪

♪ I feel like I can zoom across the sky, yeah ♪

♪ Sometimes I wanna cry ♪

♪ Most people try to aim to please ♪

♪ But a lot of them are kinda weak in the knees ♪

♪ Learnin' late about the birds and the bees ♪

♪ Fallin' in love and wanna be set free ♪

♪ Playin' boy at the age of 13 ♪

♪ Everybody's growin' up with a dream ♪

♪ I never noticed what could happen to me ♪

♪ Time flies when you're walkin' the streets ♪

-♪ One minute got ya holdin' an ace ♪ -♪ Holdin' an ace ♪

♪ The next minute got ya fall on your face ♪

♪ I mean, the city is a nasty place ♪

♪ Only a rat can win the rat race ♪

♪ And peace to the people who'll be falling away ♪

♪ Peace, God to make it home today ♪

♪ And peace to the people who'll be tr yin' to find ♪

♪ Some kind of life ♪

♪ Sometimes I feel like I could do anything, yeah ♪

♪ Sometimes I wanna cry ♪

♪ You know I'll come for ya ♪

♪ You know I'll come for ya ♪

♪ You know I'll come for ya ♪

♪ You know I'll come for ya ♪

♪ You know I'll come for ya ♪

♪ You know I'll come for ya ♪

♪ You know I'll come for ya ♪

♪ You know I'll come for ya ♪

♪ Peace to the people, to the people, to the people to the people, to the people ♪

♪ Peace to the people, to the people, to the people, to the people, to the people ♪