Original subtitles

(WAVES cHAs|-||NG)

(SOFT Mus|c P|_AY|NG>

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(WOMAN I\/IOANS SOFTLY)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(SEAGULLS CALLING IN DISTANCE)

(TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY)

(SEAGULLS CALLING IN DISTANCE)

MAN: So, there's no reason why

we can't be hitting targets in this area.

First thing we need to be doing

is asking sonne rnore probing questions.

Working out what kind of support we need

to put in place for these customers

And what sort of reasonable adjustments

the employees need to be making as well

Second thing we can be doing

is spend a little bit less time on our phones

l've noticed that people have been hiding their phones

on their lap, on their desk in their bags.

I just need a proof of address

So if you could bring in a bank statement or a gas

But I ain't got it

What do you want me to do? Pull it out of my fucking pocket?

Well, we can't do anything until you bring that in.

What the fuck is your problem?

l'm just saying that we need it in writing

But l'm here. ls there something wrong with your fucking eyesight?

We still need it in writing

Fucking ugly bitch

(INDISTINCT CHA`|'|'ER)

I\/IAN: Kate?

Kate

Kate

I just said your name three times, Kate.

lt's like you're on another bloody planet.

Uranus

(CHUCKLES) Sorry

David would like to see you before lunch.

-Okay. You'll get an email

And you were late once again this morning

It was only a few minutes

And where were you Tuesday?

I was off sick

You didn't bring a doctor's note.

Dog ate it

Just joking

Yeah. l'll bring one in next time.

Sorry, it just totally slipped my mind.

Do you recall what we discussed last month, Kate?

Yes

night

So this is your final warning before I take the next step.

Then whatever happens subsequenUy

is beyond my control

Do you understand?

KATE: Mr Kendrick?

Nom is this your permanent address ?

BLOND: Difficult to say

KATE: Well, you can give us a care-of address,

but then you will need to bring in written consent

Just say permanent, then

Okay

So you've just been released from prison.

Can I just check that your release date

is the 20th of April, 2019?

ls that correct? -Yep.

Had a small run-in with an articulated lorry

and a lamppost

Can you confirm your marital status?

Married or single?

Single

Ve ry

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Oh, sorry. Computer's going... Ow

Uh, computer's gone

um... night

Okay, so it usually takes about three to five weeks

for a claim to be processed

And if you, you know

don't hear from us within that time,

you can just contact us via phone or email.

Do you have any other questions?

What you doing for lunch?

KATE: Well... Uh

(son-i ci-|uck|_E>

(CHUCKLES) Uh

Well, I usuallyjust eat a sandwich in the kitchen

They don't give us very long

Sounds worse than bloody prison

(KATE ci-|uck|_Es>

You ought to go out

Sit on a bench

Well, I will keep that in mind thank you.

night

Well, l'm relying on you Miss...

Perkin

to make it happen

(FOOTSTEPS RECEDING) -(INDISTINCT CHA`|'|'ER)

(ci-|uck|_Es>

So, l've set you up on that blind date.

His name's Flob

Nice one. Thanks

Yeah, he is, actually

He's really nice

Good looking, too

He really wants to settle down.

What's up? Come on

Shit!

Shit, l've just remembered something.

I promised Gavin l'd sign off on a file

by the end of the night

l'll have to nip back

lt's Friday bloody night

I know. Just get me a drink

and I won't be long all right?

Okay, weirdo

Fancy meeting you here

Fancy meeting you

How was your day?

Good, thanks. Yours?

Not too bad

-What are you up to? (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Nothing, really

You've got hair in your eyes, darling

BLOND: Where do you usually drink?

KATE: Anywhere

God, I can't walk in this skirt! (CHUCKLES)

The car's a bit of a mess

lt's pretty shameful

l'll tidy up the passenger seat

(CAR LOCK ci-||nPs>

(CAR DOOR CLOSES)

Make you wanna jump?

KATE: No

(EXOLAIMS, OHUCKLES) -Do it then!

lt's a phenomenon, actually

The urge to hurl yourself off high places.

ls it, now? -Yeah.

lt's not about wanting to kill yourself

lt's life-confirming

Cause you could do it

But you don't

(WHISTLES) Phew

(CHUCKLES)

You're lovely, aren't ya?

Take your tights off

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

And your knickers

KATE: (GASPS) lt's cold, it's cold

BLOND: Stand on my feet

(GASPS so|=T|_Y>

(KATE BREATHING HEAVILY)

(GASPS)

You all right, darling? -Ow.

Yeah. (BREATHING HEAVILY)

Keep going

Keep going. Keep going

Keep going. Keep going

(CONTINUES BREATHING HEAVILY)

(KATE MOANING)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(SEAGULLS CALLING IN DISTANCE)

KATE: You didn 't recognise me, did you?

NAN: lt's been a while

No. I was here last week, Nan

Don't you remember?

NAN: I must be losing me marbles after all.

KATE: l'm teasing you

(BOTH LAUGH) -KATE: Here.

NAN: Oh!

KATE: Got you these -They're lovely!

You look lovely

I had a date -Oh.

With a very handsome man

(CHUCKLES) Oh, I like a handsome one

I know you do. (CHUCKLES)

And he's funny, too

Sounds like you're smitten

Might be. A little bit

Should have brought him here

We've only just met, Nan

-(KNOCKING ON DOOR) And when's the big day?

(Doon o|=Ei\|s> -Don't be silly.

Lovely girl like you, he's bound to propose

WOMAN: Fe/icidades. Wedding

Party

(CHUCKLES)

KATE: I should get going, Nan

She's a very busy girl Got a lot on.

Yeah, l'll see you soon, okay?

You seeing him tonight?

Yeah. Yeah, that's right

Going somewhere nice?

Um... l'm gonna cook him a meal.

Good on you

(TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY)

(|_|i\|E E|Ne|Ne>

(CONTINUES n|i\|e|No)

ALISON: He//O?

(IN GRUFF VOICE) What are you wearing?

Oh, you have to be quick; Kéfé.

/'m putting the kids to bed.

l'm calling to make a formal apology.

Yeah, where were you? You cou/d'\/e ca//ed me.

I know, I know. I know

l'm sorry, but it was, um

It was a bit mad, actually

Yeah, we/L that's the sto/gv of your /ife, innit?

/ said put that down right now.

Don 't ta/k to me to me //ke that.

Peslqf kids

Flight. We/L that's zine, then Tr/at's zine.

if you can give it back to me now...

So what are you saying? Are you sony?

Yeah, yeah

Good boy. Good boy. Tr/at's it.

You mustn 't be rude to Mummy.

Too tired for this tonight okay? Come on. P/ease.

(MOUSE CLICKING)

(DOOR cEEAk|Ne)

(GRUNTS so|=T|_Y>

(TYPING)

(BREATHES HEAVILY)

(siei-is)

(INCOMING MESSAGE TONE CHIMES)

(ci-|uck|_Es>

(TYPING)

(ci-|uck|_Es>

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

Gavin, it's like a it's like a knife

going through my head

And l've got these big

like, flashing lights at the side of my eyes

lt's just, it's firing like this

Gavin, l've just been sick in the toilet.

Fine

Just go. We'll see you tomorrow

Bring a doctor's note -Yeah.

(LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING)

KATE: So where are we going?

BLOND: We're eloping

But it's a secret

(KATE OHUCKLES) -Even from you.

(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

Look over there. lt's a bird of prey

Where?

-There! Where?

(LAUGHING) I can't see it

BLOND: lt's a buzzard

Shit, he's circling us

Shit. (CHUCKLES)

Shit!

(SEAGULLS SOUAWKING)

BLOND: You eat like a squirrel.

Well, it's totally unmanageable with one hand

How come you're always like this?

Like What?

Beguiling, aren't you?

Don't know

(LIGHTER CLICKING)

I think your smoke's blowing into that woman's food.

ls it blowing in your food? -No.

Why do you wear those shoes?

Horrible, aren't they?

(ci-|uck|_Es)

Well, there's a dress code so I kinda have to.

BLOND: Bastards

We'll get the bin

l'll show you my favourite spot

Excuse me. Can we get the bill?

Thanks, darlin

No, you're all right l'll get this.

Are you sure?

Yep

(BIRDS ci-||EP|Ne)

KATE: OuCh

BLOND: All right, darling? -Yes, thank you.

Just a bramble

Well brought up, aren't you?

lsuppose

What'd you call your parents? Mummy and daddy?

They're called Trevor and Susan

What do you call yours?

Bitch and cunt -(LAUGHS)

She gave me away when I was four

and I never met him. So

So who did you grow up with, then?

BLOND: Uh

Various

Coming in for a swim, then?

Uh... l'm not very good

Take your clothes off, then

Shy, aren't you?

You show me yours and l'll show you mine

This too, please

Beautiful tits -Thank you.

Very well brought up indeed.

(KATE ci-|ucK|_Es>

I don't know anything aboutyou.

I don't know anything aboutyou.

My hobbies are reading

and listening to music

I like drawing

Really? -Yeah.

Do you have a girlfriend?

No, I don't have a girlfriend

Do you do this sort of thing often?

Are you interrogating me Ms Perkin?

Have you ever killed anybody?

(CHUCKLES) I was only in for four months

You're funny

Am I?

You know you are

Right. l'm going in the water

(sP|_As|-||Ne>

(BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY)

(|=|_Y BUZZING)

(CONTINUES BREATHING HEAVILY)

(BLOND |v|oANs>

(|=|_|Es BUZZING)

The lovely Kate Perkin

I wish we could stay like this forever.

(BLOND EXHALES DEEPLY)

(YAWNING)

KATE: Can I have one too, please?

What are you trying to do? Climb inside me?

What?

Nothing. Sorry. (CHUCKLES)

(UPEEAT iviusic PLAYING ON RADIO)

I just remembered my car's still at work

(SIGHS)

Doesn't matter l'll get the bus.

Do you wanna come in for a coffee or something?

BLOND: l've got things to do

KATE: Yeah

Yeah, yeah. I have, too, so

VHcaHyou

(INDISTINCT CHA`l'l'ER IN DISTANCE)

(DOOR OPENS)

ALISON: Feeling better are you?

Yeah. Yeah. Thanks

Yeah, just bloody migraines

Got a doctor's note

I hate these shoes

Do you hate these shoes?

You know you can get sacked for having a relationship

with a claimant, don't you?

I mean, I haven't got a problem with it

even though I got you the job. ljust...

I thought you should know

So is itjust a fling, or

I don't know

lt's early days

Does he want kids?

Uh, we've only been on two dates. (CHUCKLES)

Don't want him to give you the run-around though, do you?

You know what you're like

Well, he seems pretty keen on me, actually.

I just know you want to settle down. That's all, babe

I want a lot of things

Like What?

Don't know. l'd like to travel

Where to?

Loads of places

Yeah? Like where? -I don't know.

l'd just like to

take a trip somewhere

Get in a car and drive off

Have an adventure

NiCe

Well, it's up to you isn't it?

I just... You need to get your priorities right, that's all.

I take it you're still on for babysitting Saturday night?

Yeah, yeah, course

Great

See you out there

(MACHINE WHIRRING)

(wi-iinnime sToPs>

(SEAGULLS CALLING IN DISTANCE)

(SEAGULLS SOUAWKING)

SUSAN: And how's work?

Yeah, busy

Pun off my feet

I bet you are

SUSAN: Did I tell you your cousin Janet's

just had her third baby?

Be nice if you could drop her a card.

KATE: Yeah, sure

Another boy

She'll be exhausted

So, have you been going out?

Having fun?

What you been up to?

Seeing someone, actually

Oh!

Well, that's great news Katie.

Well, spill the beans Tell us more.

What's he like? Where did you meet?

Well, we just, kind of

bumped into each other at work, and then, you know

that was that

Wham, bam, wham

(TREVOR ci-|ucK|_Es)

So you've got a lot in common, then?

Yeah

Yeah, I mean, he's, you know he's had a tough time lately,

but he's doing okay now

He's getting back on his feet.

SUSAN: Oh, dear

How do you mean?

Well, he hasn't got any legs

(TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY)

You're joking

Yes, Mum, l'm joking

(TREVOR CHUCKLING SOFTLY)

You've got a very dark sense of humour sometimes

-Come on, Susan. He's fine. l'm fine

Don't worry about it

SUSAN: I do worry about it, though That's the thing.

I should get going. A lot on

Don't let me forget to give you some vegetables

before you go, love

No, l'm all right for veg Thanks, Dad.

TPEVOP: Got some fantastic tomatoes

Looks like it's gonna rain again

SUSAN: Mmm

(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING)

(WINCES)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC RISES)

(MUSIC sTo|=s>

(SIGHS)

(MEOWS)

(w|-||EE|Ne>

(CLICKS TONGUE)

(JAZZ Music PLAYING I=AINTLY ON SPEAKERS)

Hey, um, can I get a gin and tonic, please?

BARTENDER: Yeah, sure -Thanks.

Actually, can you make that a double?

BARTENDER: Yeah, no problem -Thanks.

(INDISTINCT CHA`l'l'ER) -(LAueI-ITEn>

Thank you. Here

Cheers

God

oh. (LAueI-Is)

Hi, Kate -Pob.

Yeah. (CHUCKLES)

Well, are we supposed to shake hands or...

-God, no. I dunno. (BOTH CHUCKLE)

POB: So in order to move up I had to move on.

KATE: Right

POB: The thing is, if I was gonna take on extra work

it'd have to be for like 10K more.

Otherwise, it just wasn't worth my while.

So when I was head-hunted and when the price was right

I just thought, "Yeah. Leave Sheffield. Why not?

So, here I am. (CHUCKLES)

And how do you like it?

So far, so good, yeah

Yeah, it's quite picturesque isn't it?

Surprisingly so -Yeah.

Well, maybe I can take you on a tour sometime.

l'd like that

Show you the beauty spots

Yeah, l'd really like that

I like your shoes by the way.

Oh, thanks, yeah

You know, l've been told that shoes are very important

That's right

So, uh

what about you?

l've been doing all the talking.

How's your work? Do you enjoy it?

Well, if you get me another gin and tonic

I will tell you all about it

Okay, deal

(CHUCKLES)

Not for me, though

l'm driving

Oh. I got a taxi

you know, just in case (CHUCKLES)

Oh, I can give you a lift home if you like.

Thanks, yeah

Maybe I can give you that tour.

Oh, not tonight, no

Got a 6:00 AM start in the morning.

Pight. Uh, another G and T?

Yeah, make it a double

(cI-IucKLEs> okey

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

POB: ls it much further?

KATE: Erm, pull up here

This is it. This is it

This is it

Perfect

See

If you look across there, you can see the whole harbour

lt's the best view in town

Where's your house?

I thought you were directing me to your house

lam

This is just a detour

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

(KATE cI-IucKLEs>

POB: Whoa

Whoa, whoa. Whoa. Hold up

What are you doing?

What?

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Hey. We're... We're not having sex in my car.

This is a work car

We don't have to have sex

lthink, lthink you might be drunk

A little bit. l'm all right

I think, I think you should just get dressed.

Y' know, you're really attractive

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Look, just put your dress back on, okay?

You have the most amazing body Do you work out?

Just put your dress back on -No.

And give me your postcode -No.

Look, are you... Are you crazy?

-No. (BOTH CHUCKLE)

Look, do you want me to leave you here?

Right now. Do you want me to do that?

(ANGRILY) Put your dress back on now!

Okay

Fuckin' nutcase

Put your dress back on

BLOND: Been callin' you

You look nice

I like your dress

Get your skates on, then

Party

(KATE COUGHS)

My car's fucked. Can we use yours?

Yeah

(GIGGLES) Here

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

KATE: /used to have an imagina/y friend.

A horse. Ca//ed Dun/op

Like the trainers? -Yeah.

That's funny

KATE: if you could go anywhere, where would you go?

BLOND: Where 'd you go?

KATE: Somewhere different.

(DANCE MUSIC FADES)

(STIRRING MUSIC PLAYING)

BLOND: l'm gonna get a beer

Yeah

(INDISTINCT CHA`l'l'ER)

(DANCE Music nEsuIvIEs>

(MU`l'l'ERS)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(INDISTINCT CHA`I'I'ER CONTINUES)

KATE: Sorry Thank you.

(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING FAINTLY)

Excuse me, have you seen a man with blond hair?

Excuse me, have you seen a man with blond hair?

With a hat?

MAN: What's your name darling?

Katie. Kate

l'm looking for someone, Blond

Have you seen him?

Here. Have some of this

lt's all right

(sNoI=ITs>

lt's for horses. (CHUCKLES)

Here

(SNIFFS)

(IvIAN MU`l'l'ERS)

Yeah

-Hey. Hmm

Are you all right? -Mmm.

You sure? -Mmm.

Want some water?

(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

Fuck

Oh, Shit

(G RU NTS)

(SEAGULLS CALLING)

(SIGHS) Oh, God

Oh, my God

BLOND: All right, deriing?

KATE: I was looking for you

I was looking for you

You disappeared

I was fucking worried

You wandered off

KATE: Funny, I didn't

I just thought you you'd left.

You're stiff

Relax, darling

Relax

We're the same, you and me

What do you mean?

We're soulmates

You're high

Don't know what you're talking about

I always know what l'm talking about

That's it

There you go

That's better

What's wrong, my darling?

No one likes me

What are you talking about?

My friends

(CRYING)

That's their fucking problem, then

How?

How can it be?

They're not your tribe

You need to find your tribe

You're my tribe

What, just me?

Yeah

Small tribe

Tiny tribe

My sister's getting married in a few months.

That's nice

She lives in Spain

I can take someone

You should come

Okay

(BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY)

(EXHALES)

(DISHES CLANKING)

KATE: I-Iey

BLOND: l'm starving

What do you eat?

You're like Old Mother Hubbard

Got behind on my food shopping

That's all right

l'll pick something up on my way.

Oh, where you going?

BLOND: Meetin

What kind of meeting?

Possible business venture

Early days

Can I come?

Are you joking?

(CHUCKLES)

Yeah. I still feel a bit high.

Can I borrow your car?

Did I tell you mine was fucked?

Um, yeah. Yeah, you did

lt's something with the exhaust

I need to take it to a garage.

But one that's not gonna rip me off.

ls this all you eat?

You really are a little squirrel.

Eight

Better get going

Better get on

Look, I can go and buy you some bacon and eggs.

It will only take a minute

Pushy, aren't you?

All right

Go on then if you're going

(KEYS RA`l'l'LE)

Get me some coffee Nice coffee.

Nice coffee. Okay -And...

Orange juice

With or without bits?

You decide -Okay.

And ketchup

Okay

Coming right up

(DOOR cLosEs>

(MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS) -(PANTING)

Er... (MU`I'I'ERING)

EQQS, 9993

Bread

Orange juice

Juice. Juice

(SOFTLY) Okay. _ _

Er, er

Just

(SCANNER EEEPING)

# Would heaven be as sweet as this? #

# Will someone up above #

# Arrange for it to be like this? #

# Hand in hand #

# We'll stand #

# While eternity goes by #

(MUSIC sToPs>

Hello?

Had to run. See you

Had to run. See you Had to run. See you

(MOBILE PHONE CHIMES)

Pigm

Oh, fuck

Oh, Shit

Oh, Shit

Had to run. See you

Okay... Okay

(DOOR CLOSES)

(SEAGULLS CALLING IN DISTANCE)

(wI-IIsPEPs> oI1,fueI

Oh, Shit

KATE: And I put the key in the ignition and just...

(SIGHS) Like, nothing. It didn't even turn over

It must be something wrong with the exhaust, you know.

l've got to take it to a garage.

One that doesn't try and rip you...

DAVID: I don't know what to say, Kate.

Sorry

Sorry isn't gonna help this time.

No, sorry, excuse me I just need...

(voIvIITs, COUGHS)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(couGI-IING>

(KATE BREATHING HEAVILY)

I think l've got a bug

ALISON: He's been fucking you about, hasn't he?

Taking your car is basically theft

I said he could take it

He's using you, mate

No, it's not like that

lt's pretty obvious, Kate

No, look, he hasn't had a very good childhood.

Ah. (CHUCKLES)

So you're gonna rescue him, are you?

(CHUCKLES) No. We have a connection

Okay. You need to text him and tell him

that if he doesn't bring your car back by tonight

then you're calling the police.

Sometimes I think you enjoy all this

Sorry?

I beg your pardon, enjoy what exactly?

Do you actually think

that I don't have anything better to do

than listen to you moan about your latest shag?

You seem smug

You seem like a bit of a slag.

Yeah, well, I try not to think of myself like that.

Okay, well, then maybe you should

stop fucking random strangers

and find yourself a proper boyfriend

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

I think you should go home, Kate.

(ALIsoN SCOFFS)

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR cLosEs>

(SCOFFS)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

(CLICKS TONGUE)

(INDISTINCT CHA`l'l'ER)

(CLA`l'l'ERS)

(SETS GLASS ON TABLE)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC RESUMES)

(BREATHES HEAVILY)

(LINE PINGING>

BLOND: Hi -Hi. Hi.

l've been trying to call you.

(BLOND SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) -Um, I need my car.

Yeah

Tonight, uh, yeah

(BLOND SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

l'T1

(CLICKS TONGUE) I don't know about 7:30?

8:30, yeah, that's fine

Okay

Yeah. Yeah, you?

-(INDISTINCT CHA`l'l'ER) (POP MUSIC PLAYING FAINTLY)

(cI-IIIvIING)

BLOND: This pub is fucking horrible

(CHUCKLES) Well, it's just my local

lt's the first place I thought of.

So, how you doing?

l'm exhausted -Oh.

How'd that interview go?

What?

Well, that, um... you know, potential business venture?

Did they give you the job Mr Kendrick?

Do I look like someone who can work for other people?

This beer tastes off

KATE: Oh, no

Brought your keys

(BLOND sIGI-Is)

I thought you might have called

l've been busy

You just disappeared

What? When?

When I went to the supermarket

I left you a note

Yeah, I know, but

I thought you might have just

you know, called just to say

I don't know, just to say

lt's a two-way street, Kate

You could have called me

did

Oh, yeah

I mean, you've had my car for over a week.

You lent it to me

(sIGI-Is)

Look, l'm just wondering what's...

what's going on with us?

Seriously, you wanna do this now?

The thing is, I like you

I like you a lot And I would...

In fact, I think you're pretty great

And I would like to carry on, you know, carry on seeing you

What are you talking about?

Well, I just

You know, l'd like to be your girlfriend.

(CHUCKLES) How old are you? 12?

(HESITATING) What do you want then?

Don't want anything

You

You said I was your soulmate

When did I say that?

After the party

When I was pissed and high on pills?

Yeah, I said... I said you were high. I said that

I was trying to calm you, Kate

Placate you. You were a mess

You invited me to your sister's wedding

What does that mean?

Shit

lt's a friend. An old mate

He's in town for a night

l'll have to go

KATE: What, right now?

BLOND: He's like the closest thing I have to a brother.

Okay? What's wrong?

lthink, lthink l've got a migraine

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

l've got to meet my mate, okay?

Your car's parked on the other side of the road

Wait, wait. How, how are we leaving it then?

You're too fucking much you know that?

No, I don't, I don't understand

-What? I don't understand

Why you trying to corner me?

l'm not. l'm not

Your breath really smells, darling

(INDISTINCT CHA`l'l'ER)

(SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE)

(TYPEs scPEEcI-IING)

(TYRES CONTINUE SCREECHING)

(ENGINE sToPs)

(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

(DISHES CLA`l'l'ERING SOFTLY IN DISTANCE)

(CLA`l'l'ERING CONTINUES)

TREVOR: Oh, hello, love

We rang the bell, but there was no answer

SUSAN: So we had to let ourselves in.

KATE: I was sleeping

Those keys are for emergencies, Mum

lt's past midday

Yeah, I was having a lie-in

l've been very busy at work, Mum.

What are you doing?

SUSAN: So why aren't you at work today?

Because it's the weekend

SUSAN: lt's Tuesday

We bumped into your friend, Alison

We know about your job, love

Why didn't you tell us?

Your mother worries That's the thing.

You don't have anything in your cupboards, Katie

I thought you were gonna buy yourself a new cooker

Like I said, l've been very busy

SUSAN: I think men find you difficult, that's why.

-What? TREVOR: Susan

SUSAN: No, it's important she knows these things.

She's all on her own

-TREVOR: Sit down. I don't wanna sit down

Look, your mother has brought some chicken

and chocolate cake your favourite.

And l've brought you some veg

from the garden Lovely fresh peas

I don't want any more fucking veg

What are you doing here? Why are you in my flat?

Just get out. Get out Get out. Get out!

Get out

Don't know what's wrong with you

Like some sort of bloody depressive

Come on, Susan

We can come back later

l'll not be coming back later

to be spoken to like that -(DOOR OPENS)

How dare she? -(SOBBING)

(DOOR cLosEs>

(soEnING)

(SOMBRE MUSIC PLAYING)

(DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE)

(GASPS)

(BICYCLE ZOOMING) -(GASPS)

RIDER 1: Fuck you! Move!

RIDER 2: What the fuck are you doing?

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(DOOR cLosEs>

(SOFTLY) Fuck.

(wI-IIIvIPEnING)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

Oh, fuck

(THUNDER CRACKS)

(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(CHANDELIER TINKLING)

-(nuIvInLING> (GASPS SOFTLY)

(CRASHING)

(CEILING CRACKING)

(CRASHING)

(sILENcE>

(TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY)

There's nothing like a cold bath is there?

-Filled with hot water. (TV AUDIENCE LAUGHS)

(TREVOR AND SUSAN LAUGHING)

(ALL EXCLAIM)

MAN: Watch out, mate

That was a... That was a hole in one

MAN: That's not a hole in one

That was a hole in one

ls this, is this snooker, or is it pool you're playing?

MAN: This is pool

ALISON: lt's pool? -Yeah, pool.

ALISON: All right, what's the difference

between snooker and pool?

Me and Kate, we'll play doubles

MAN: You're with me ALISON: Yeah?

Come with me -Okay.

KATE: l'm just gonna go for a wee.

(SOMBRE MUSIC PLAYING)

Feel how smooth that is that's lovely.

That nice? -Yeah.

SUSAN: There's a lot of space there, isn't there?

Oh, these are all the different colours, look

lt's nice

I like that blue

DEMONSTRATOR: ...cake with this beautiful stand m/Xer.

So today l'm going to be showing you

how to create a perfect

cream cheese frosting for your cake.

So l'm going to add in first of all,

the softened butter

And then l'm adding in the cream cheese.

Now, if anybody has tried to do this by hand,

you'll know it is actually really difficult

-to remove all of the lumps. (MOBILE PHONE BUZZING)

So we're taking out all of that stress

by using this stand mixer

So this is the attachment that we're going to use

and it really gently slots in there like that

Turn it on, you'll be able to hear the slow start motor

So it's really nice and quiet

so you don't have all that noise

in the kitchen while you're doing it.

And you can hear how quiet

that motor really is

lt's the perfect... (CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)

(SWEEPING MUSIC PLAYING)

So you can add a dash of vanilla

if you fancy a bit of extra flavour

or you can leave it as it is

So we are gonna be adding a bit of sugar

to this now to sweeten the mix

-And this goes perfectly... (MOBILE PHONE RINGING)

(CONTINUES RINGING)

(nINGING sToPs)

(SIGHS)

(MOBILE PHONE RINGING)

(INDISTINCT CHA`l'l'ER)

Um, just arrived and l'm just outside the main exit.

By the taxis

Can't see you any\/vhere

(INDISTINCT CHA`l'l'ER)

(CAN HISSING) -Fuck!

Fuck's sake!

Fuck

(SIGHS)

(AEROPLANE FLYING OVERHEAD)

Fuck

Fucking hell

All right, darling?

Got held up. Sorry

Come on. Got a taxi waiting

(IvIuTED YAWNING)

Main bedroom

Guest bedroom

Open plan

They've done it nice haven't they?

KATE: Mmm-hmm

BLOND: You smell lovely

We've been invited to a party tonight.

Pre-wedding thing

KATE: Great

Let's have a little lie down shall we?

(KISSES)

You all right?

-Yeah. What's wrong?

Just... you know a bit tired, like...

Jetlag. (CHUCKLES)

lt's a nice bathroom

Want a beer?

Um, maybe, in a minute

I was thinking

I was thinking we should get married

Have kids

(CHUCKLING) What?

l've been thinking about it.

l'm up for it

The whole thing

Well?

Thank you

What does that mean?

Why are you behaving like this?

l'm not behaving like anything.

(FOOTSTEPS nEcEDING>

(BIRDS cI-IInPING)

lt's so hot out here

(SHOWER RUNNING)

You're not wearing those shoes, are you?

(DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE)

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING FAINTLY)

(CHILDREN LAUGHING)

(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) -(INDISTINCT CHA`I'I'ER)

-Drinks? What are your parents doing?

Uh, she gave me away

(LAUGHING)

Do you have a lighter?

(UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

Lost you for a minute

You having an all right time?

Yeah, it's great

You complete me

(PEOPLE CHEERING IN DISTANCE)

(PEOPLE SHOUTING EXCITEDLY)

MAN: Gonna need a fucking life raft!

(PEOPLE CHEERING)

MAN: Whatever. Jump in

BLOND: You get in!

(WOMEN SCREAMING EXCITEDLY)

(INDISTINCT CHA`l'l'ER)

Oh!

-Yeah! MAN: Come on!

Yeah!

BLOND: Yeah!

(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING FAINTLY)

(INDISTINCT CHA`l'l'ER)

(MAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) -No, thank you.

(MUSIC: "NOCTURNES OP. 9 NO. 2 BY CHOPIN)

(INDISTINCT CHA`l'l'ER)

(MUSIC FADING IN: "RID OF ME BY PJ HARVEY)

# Night and day #

# I breathe #

# You're not rid of me #

# Yeah #

# You're not rid of me #

# Yeah #

# You're not rid of me #

# Yeah #

# You're not rid of me #

# I beg you #

# My darling #

# Don't leave me #

# l'm hurting #

# Lick my legs, l'm on fire #

# Lick my legs of desire #

# l'll tie your legs #

# Keep you against my chest #

# Oh, you're not rid of me #

# Yeah, you're not rid of me #

# l'll make you lick my injuries #

# l'm gonna twist your head off, see #

# Till you say don't you wish you never, never met her #

# Don't you, don't you wish you never, never met her #

# Don't you, don't you wish you never, never met her #

# Don't you, don't you wish you never, never met her #

# Don't you, don't you wish you never, never met her #

# Lick my legs, l'm on fire #

# Lick my legs of desire #

# Lick my legs, l'm on fire #

(BIRDS cI-IInPING)

(SOFT Music PLAYING)

(UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYING)