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- Warning, the following
program contains
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really course language,
weed, alcohol consumption,
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00:00:05,246 --> 00:00:08,036
smoking, and sexual inferences.
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This content may not be suitable
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00:00:09,733 --> 00:00:11,363
for viewers under 18.
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To activate parental controls,
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please press the go
[bleep] yourself button
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00:00:15,084 --> 00:00:16,434
on your remote control.
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[bright piano music]
[children playing]
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- [Ricky] What's up man?
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- Ricky, what's going on?
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00:00:29,719 --> 00:00:30,859
- Sup boys?
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00:00:30,892 --> 00:00:32,272
- [Bubbles] What are you
doin? I got you some socks.
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00:00:32,308 --> 00:00:33,618
- [Julian] Got some socks.
- Right on.
15
00:00:33,654 --> 00:00:35,624
- Nice socks.
16
00:00:35,656 --> 00:00:37,036
The buy-way, on sale.
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00:00:37,071 --> 00:00:38,251
- White and black.
18
00:00:38,279 --> 00:00:39,489
- Yeah.
- Got two colors
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00:00:39,522 --> 00:00:40,452
white and black.
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00:00:41,351 --> 00:00:43,041
What are you doing?
What are those?
21
00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:45,007
- Just waitin for the fuckin
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00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,385
bolognairs to get ready boys.
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00:00:46,425 --> 00:00:48,455
- [Bubbles] Holy fuck,
you're making bolognairs?
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00:00:48,496 --> 00:00:49,006
- Fuckin' rights.
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00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,359
- Decent!
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00:00:50,395 --> 00:00:52,805
- Thought we'd have somethin'
special for this little
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00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:53,535
thing today.
28
00:00:53,570 --> 00:00:54,570
- Decent, all right!
29
00:00:54,606 --> 00:00:55,496
Get er goin!
- What the fuck is that?
30
00:00:55,538 --> 00:00:57,128
- What the hell, is
that a turntable?
31
00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:58,640
- [Bubbles] Yeah.
32
00:00:58,679 --> 00:00:59,609
- Did you make that?
- [Ricky] He just gonna sleep
33
00:00:59,645 --> 00:01:00,535
through this, is he?
34
00:01:00,577 --> 00:01:02,097
- [Bubbles] What?
- [Julian] Who is?
35
00:01:02,131 --> 00:01:03,751
- [Ricky] Met some fuckin
guy at the legion last night
36
00:01:03,787 --> 00:01:04,817
and decided to come back
- Ricky who the fuck is that?
37
00:01:04,857 --> 00:01:05,817
- and party.
38
00:01:05,858 --> 00:01:07,718
I think his name's Jerry?
39
00:01:07,757 --> 00:01:08,757
- You picked up a dude
at the legion last night?
40
00:01:08,792 --> 00:01:09,792
- I didn't pick him up, no
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00:01:09,828 --> 00:01:10,548
we were partying
- You picked him up.
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00:01:10,587 --> 00:01:11,447
and he wanted to keep
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00:01:11,485 --> 00:01:11,995
fuckin partying
- Hey bud!
44
00:01:12,279 --> 00:01:13,689
so we came back here.
45
00:01:13,728 --> 00:01:16,008
- Bud, you gotta go, we gotta
shoot a thing, you gotta get-
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00:01:16,041 --> 00:01:17,561
[man speaks in foreign language]
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- I'm just, uh,
traveling through.
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00:01:19,527 --> 00:01:19,977
- [Bubbles] Ricky!
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00:01:20,010 --> 00:01:21,010
- [Ricky] What?
50
00:01:21,046 --> 00:01:22,116
- That's Terry!
- He said I could-
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00:01:22,151 --> 00:01:23,221
he said I could take five.
- That's who?
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00:01:23,255 --> 00:01:24,185
- [Ricky] Terry, yeah,
that's it.
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00:01:24,222 --> 00:01:25,122
- [Bubbles] That's Terry!
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- [Julian] Who's Terry?
55
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- [Bubbles] Terry!
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From the FUBAR movie!
[indistinct]
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- [Julian] What the fuck
is he doing here?
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00:01:30,193 --> 00:01:31,333
- What's that?
59
00:01:31,367 --> 00:01:32,157
- [Bubbles] Ricky where
didja meet him at?
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00:01:32,195 --> 00:01:33,125
- Fuck.
- I'm fuckin-
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00:01:33,162 --> 00:01:34,232
- You know what?
- You fuckin get
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00:01:34,266 --> 00:01:35,296
dinner goin, or what?
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00:01:35,336 --> 00:01:36,986
- [Ricky] Yeah man.
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00:01:37,027 --> 00:01:38,127
I fuckin know who you are now.
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00:01:38,167 --> 00:01:39,997
- Ricky 'member we went
to the movies?
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00:01:40,030 --> 00:01:40,790
- I didn't know he was famous.
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00:01:40,824 --> 00:01:41,554
- Fuck.
- Well fuck.
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00:01:41,584 --> 00:01:42,274
- He's a good partier
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let me tell ya
- Hey Terry!
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00:01:43,241 --> 00:01:43,791
What's goin on?
- How's it goin!
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00:01:43,827 --> 00:01:44,927
I'm Terry!
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00:01:44,966 --> 00:01:45,926
What's your name?
- Bubbles, how ya doin?
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00:01:45,967 --> 00:01:47,177
- Bubbles, nice ta
fuckin meet you!
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00:01:47,210 --> 00:01:49,210
- Good to meet you!
- I seen you!
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00:01:49,247 --> 00:01:51,207
- Ya have on the TV.
- Fuck I'm a little dizzy guys
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00:01:51,249 --> 00:01:52,529
- [Ricky] You fuckin gave
her last night
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00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,420
- I'm a little dizzy.
What's your name, bud?
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00:01:54,459 --> 00:01:55,599
- [Julian] Hey what's up.
Julien man.
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00:01:55,632 --> 00:01:58,262
- Nice to fuckin pleasure,
right on.
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00:01:58,290 --> 00:01:59,050
- You were right out of her
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00:01:59,084 --> 00:02:00,124
were ya?
- Fuck yeah,
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00:02:00,154 --> 00:02:01,914
no I was just a bit parched.
- Oh man.
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00:02:01,949 --> 00:02:03,189
- We gave her fuckin
hard last night.
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00:02:03,226 --> 00:02:04,226
- You want a beer?
- Yeah fuck.
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00:02:04,262 --> 00:02:06,752
Sorry guys, just crashin'
out there.
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00:02:06,781 --> 00:02:07,201
- Yeah no worries.
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00:02:07,230 --> 00:02:08,710
- We're just,
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00:02:08,749 --> 00:02:09,199
shooting something here man.
- Here pull up a speaker.
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00:02:09,232 --> 00:02:10,442
- Well gee uh-
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00:02:10,475 --> 00:02:12,195
- You can be in the thing
with us here if you want
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00:02:12,235 --> 00:02:13,305
just pull up a speaker.
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00:02:13,340 --> 00:02:15,200
- [Ricky] Easy on the speakers,
Bubs.
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00:02:15,238 --> 00:02:17,448
- Fuck, sorry guys, I
went a little rough there.
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00:02:17,482 --> 00:02:18,552
- Fuck.
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00:02:18,586 --> 00:02:19,616
- Holy shit.
- I can't believe your
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00:02:19,656 --> 00:02:20,546
partying with Terry!
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00:02:21,313 --> 00:02:22,693
[Bubbles laughs]
- Hey um,
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00:02:22,728 --> 00:02:23,348
- Terry!
99
00:02:23,384 --> 00:02:24,394
- I wish I remembered it.
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00:02:24,420 --> 00:02:25,660
- Is there a-
- Where's Deaner at?
101
00:02:25,697 --> 00:02:27,107
He's not here, is he?
- Sorry I just-
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00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,767
- I just have a little,
one second there guys,
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00:02:28,803 --> 00:02:30,183
sorry I just got a-
104
00:02:30,219 --> 00:02:31,739
[burps] Where's the shitter?
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00:02:31,772 --> 00:02:33,012
- [Julian] What is this,
106
00:02:33,049 --> 00:02:33,909
you're gonna take a-
- [Bubbles] It's down there,
107
00:02:33,946 --> 00:02:34,946
don't piss in the
- Oh fuck,
108
00:02:34,982 --> 00:02:35,742
sorry.
109
00:02:35,776 --> 00:02:36,706
- Piss down there, yeah?
110
00:02:36,742 --> 00:02:38,882
- Hold on guys, I'll be
right fuckin back.
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00:02:38,917 --> 00:02:39,947
- Ricky.
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00:02:39,987 --> 00:02:41,327
You met Terry!
113
00:02:41,368 --> 00:02:44,268
- I had no idea, I can
fuckin tell ya he can party.
114
00:02:44,302 --> 00:02:45,542
Holy fuck.
- Well fuck.
115
00:02:45,579 --> 00:02:47,579
- The fuckin beers he
was shotgunning was nuts!
116
00:02:47,615 --> 00:02:50,545
- Yeah, fuck, he's one
of the craziest drinkers
117
00:02:50,584 --> 00:02:51,964
I've ever seen.
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00:02:51,999 --> 00:02:54,309
- I don't remember much after
leaving the fuckin legion.
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00:02:54,346 --> 00:02:55,866
- [Julian] What,
crazier than Lahey?
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00:02:55,899 --> 00:02:58,069
- Hey sorry guys I, fuck I
don't even really remember
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00:02:58,108 --> 00:02:59,658
I didn't meet you there again?
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00:02:59,696 --> 00:03:00,836
- You just met me man
- Fuck, sorry.
123
00:03:00,870 --> 00:03:01,560
It's Julian.
- Julian.
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00:03:01,595 --> 00:03:02,415
For fuck sakes.
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00:03:02,458 --> 00:03:03,768
- Bubbles.
- Bubbles, yeah.
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00:03:03,804 --> 00:03:04,914
- Didja wash your hands, man?
- I remember you from
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00:03:04,943 --> 00:03:05,633
last night.
- Yeah man.
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00:03:05,668 --> 00:03:06,458
- Terry.
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00:03:06,496 --> 00:03:07,596
- Fuck that was a ripper!
[howls]
130
00:03:07,635 --> 00:03:08,905
- Fuck yeah man.
131
00:03:08,947 --> 00:03:11,087
- I'm gonna just have a cool
one if that's all right.
132
00:03:11,121 --> 00:03:11,981
- Right in the door there.
133
00:03:12,019 --> 00:03:13,049
- This one? Thanks guys!
134
00:03:13,089 --> 00:03:13,989
Fucks
- Pass me one too
135
00:03:14,021 --> 00:03:15,201
I'll take one
- Oh there ya go
136
00:03:15,229 --> 00:03:16,959
bud, is that the right
one? Anyone else want
137
00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:17,959
a brewski there?
138
00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:18,990
- I'll take one of
the other ones
139
00:03:19,026 --> 00:03:20,096
the green bastards, bud.
140
00:03:20,130 --> 00:03:22,060
- Green bastards, there ya go.
141
00:03:22,098 --> 00:03:22,928
- There, we'll take that.
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00:03:22,961 --> 00:03:24,381
- Right on, fuck
143
00:03:24,411 --> 00:03:25,761
that was a real where were we
- That reminds me of the
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00:03:25,791 --> 00:03:26,761
there.
- Trevor bit.
145
00:03:26,792 --> 00:03:27,792
Just like Trevor.
[beers opening]
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00:03:27,828 --> 00:03:29,308
- Fuck, and you got
the berlones,
147
00:03:29,347 --> 00:03:30,277
what's it called again?
148
00:03:30,313 --> 00:03:31,493
- Bolognairs
- Bolognairs
149
00:03:31,521 --> 00:03:34,081
- Bolognairs, last night
we were fuckin' sittin'-
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00:03:34,110 --> 00:03:35,150
Cheers boys!
151
00:03:35,180 --> 00:03:37,250
Fuck right on, right on.
- Cheers man.
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00:03:37,286 --> 00:03:39,596
- We was sittin on the
fuckin' curb, starvin'
153
00:03:39,633 --> 00:03:40,573
everything's closed up,
and he says
154
00:03:40,599 --> 00:03:42,289
"I got an idea for somethin'."
155
00:03:42,325 --> 00:03:44,215
- And then we fuckin'
passed out.
156
00:03:44,258 --> 00:03:45,288
- Yeah?
157
00:03:45,328 --> 00:03:47,368
- But now we're fuckin'
gonna get it.
158
00:03:47,399 --> 00:03:48,919
- Bolognairs. Ricky
she's startin' to
159
00:03:48,952 --> 00:03:50,542
- Startin' to get a little-
Startin' to blister there
160
00:03:50,575 --> 00:03:52,295
you might wanna cut
that layer off.
161
00:03:52,335 --> 00:03:53,405
- All right, hold on a second.
162
00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:55,440
- Do you, have you ever
had a donair?
163
00:03:55,476 --> 00:03:56,786
You know what a donair is?
164
00:03:56,822 --> 00:03:59,242
- Oh fuck yeah, my cousin,
she worked at the mall
165
00:03:59,273 --> 00:04:00,593
and I had them all the time, so.
166
00:04:00,619 --> 00:04:03,279
But this is like a real
inovation, I ain't never seen
167
00:04:03,312 --> 00:04:04,522
anything like that.
168
00:04:04,554 --> 00:04:06,324
- Fuckin' bologna donairs
I think are better than
169
00:04:06,349 --> 00:04:07,419
real don-
- Oh no.
170
00:04:07,454 --> 00:04:10,664
- [Bubbles] No, it's not
attached to it.
171
00:04:10,698 --> 00:04:13,008
- Holy fuck, these are
gonna be somethin'.
172
00:04:14,219 --> 00:04:17,019
[warbling noise]
173
00:04:18,327 --> 00:04:21,397
[heavy breathing]
174
00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:25,266
[Bubbles laughs]
175
00:04:29,234 --> 00:04:31,484
- Oh my god, I'm freakin' out!
176
00:04:31,512 --> 00:04:33,722
I'm freakin' out right now!
177
00:04:33,756 --> 00:04:35,136
It's Bubbles here,
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00:04:35,171 --> 00:04:37,551
in my command module I built.
179
00:04:37,587 --> 00:04:41,557
I'm sittin' with this
fella here, he's
180
00:04:43,144 --> 00:04:46,324
Mission Specialist One on STS74.
181
00:04:46,355 --> 00:04:48,495
Mission Specialist
One on STS100.
182
00:04:48,529 --> 00:04:51,639
And then he flew the Soyuz
up, docked her with the
183
00:04:51,670 --> 00:04:54,810
International Space Station,
was up there for 5 months.
184
00:04:54,846 --> 00:04:57,636
That's the one and only
Chris Hadfield,
185
00:04:57,676 --> 00:05:01,296
Colonel Hadfield, right
here! In my spaceship!
186
00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:02,195
[Bubbles laughs]
187
00:05:02,232 --> 00:05:03,102
Welcome!
188
00:05:03,130 --> 00:05:03,960
- Thank you.
Colonel.
189
00:05:03,993 --> 00:05:04,723
Commander.
190
00:05:04,752 --> 00:05:05,272
- Thank you, Bubbles.
191
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,475
- How are ya doin'?
192
00:05:06,513 --> 00:05:07,173
- Thank you. I'm sitting
in the commanders seat.
193
00:05:07,203 --> 00:05:08,583
[Bubbles laughs]
194
00:05:08,618 --> 00:05:11,658
- I'm freakin' out, I'll tell
ya' right now, I can barely
195
00:05:11,690 --> 00:05:15,040
barely keep it together here.
'Cause this is, ya' know,
196
00:05:15,073 --> 00:05:17,423
I built this, this is what I,
197
00:05:17,455 --> 00:05:19,695
like to play space in
here, and I know it's,
198
00:05:19,733 --> 00:05:23,363
it's pretty accurate to, to
what you're used to I believe.
199
00:05:23,392 --> 00:05:25,572
- [laughs] It is. It is.
200
00:05:25,601 --> 00:05:27,361
There are several
realistic things here.
201
00:05:27,396 --> 00:05:28,326
- [Bubbles] Yeah I
like this thing,
202
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:30,472
I'm sure ya' have one of those.
203
00:05:30,502 --> 00:05:32,612
Everybody needs one of those.
204
00:05:32,642 --> 00:05:35,232
Anyway, so I wanted
to just ask you
205
00:05:35,265 --> 00:05:38,335
some things about space,
if that's cool.
206
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:39,512
- I'm ready.
207
00:05:39,546 --> 00:05:42,406
- Oh I mean, I been
trying to be a space man,
208
00:05:42,445 --> 00:05:44,205
pretty much my whole
life I've been writin'
209
00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:49,280
letters to NASA, ya' know for
years and they don't reply.
210
00:05:49,314 --> 00:05:51,734
So I was wonderin' first
of all if there's a,
211
00:05:51,765 --> 00:05:55,005
like if you know a direct
line, or anyone I can call?
212
00:05:55,044 --> 00:05:57,914
Ya' know, to maybe get
the, the fast track.
213
00:05:57,943 --> 00:05:59,263
- They have a filter.
214
00:05:59,289 --> 00:05:59,769
- They do?
215
00:05:59,807 --> 00:06:01,077
- Yeah.
216
00:06:01,119 --> 00:06:03,599
- Well maybe there's a way
to, ya' know, bypass that
217
00:06:03,639 --> 00:06:04,609
is there?
218
00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:06,880
'Cause I mean, I'm still,
I'm ready to go.
219
00:06:06,918 --> 00:06:09,708
I mean, I've been training,
I built a centrifuge.
220
00:06:09,748 --> 00:06:12,058
I built a centrifuge, almost
spun myself to death in it.
221
00:06:12,095 --> 00:06:13,265
[Chris laughs]
222
00:06:13,303 --> 00:06:16,963
I can do like uh, I
got up to about 12 g's.
223
00:06:16,997 --> 00:06:19,277
12 sustained g's, I didn't
black out so I mean,
224
00:06:19,309 --> 00:06:21,519
that's gotta be worth somethin'.
225
00:06:21,553 --> 00:06:22,873
- Did you tell NASA that?
226
00:06:22,899 --> 00:06:26,349
- I did but they don't, they
don't seem to believe me.
227
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,936
I mean, I could do all
the things I-
228
00:06:28,974 --> 00:06:31,634
I mean maybe not, I probably
still need some training,
229
00:06:31,667 --> 00:06:35,527
but I'd be willing to go. If,
if we could.
230
00:06:35,567 --> 00:06:37,667
So I wanted to talk
to you about,
231
00:06:37,707 --> 00:06:40,227
I mean you've gone out in
the Space Shuttle two times.
232
00:06:40,261 --> 00:06:41,371
- I have.
233
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:44,371
- That's- like I can't
even believe that.
234
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:47,204
Could you, could you
tell me what it's like?
235
00:06:47,234 --> 00:06:49,034
Like, 'cause I'll probably,
you know,
236
00:06:49,063 --> 00:06:52,453
realistically I'll probably
never get to do that.
237
00:06:52,481 --> 00:06:53,141
- So-
And I'm startin'
238
00:06:53,171 --> 00:06:54,171
to accept that.
239
00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:55,276
But could you just-
[Chris laughs]
240
00:06:55,311 --> 00:06:56,801
Could you just tell me
what it's like?
241
00:06:56,830 --> 00:06:59,520
Like, from the morning
when you wake up, and,
242
00:06:59,557 --> 00:07:02,387
ya' know you're going to
space? What's that feel like?
243
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,632
- Well it sorta feels like this.
244
00:07:03,664 --> 00:07:05,324
You're sitting in the
pilots seat.
245
00:07:05,355 --> 00:07:06,975
I'm sitting in the
comanders seat.
246
00:07:07,012 --> 00:07:09,982
Uh, on your side over there,
this controls the engines.
247
00:07:10,015 --> 00:07:11,285
- Yeah.
248
00:07:11,327 --> 00:07:14,497
- And this controls the
uh, auxiliary power units,
249
00:07:14,537 --> 00:07:15,917
the general hydrolic
power for the vehicle,
250
00:07:15,952 --> 00:07:17,232
and everything we need
in an emergency
251
00:07:17,264 --> 00:07:18,684
is right here in the middle.
252
00:07:18,714 --> 00:07:20,994
Everything you need in an
emergency, including a telephone.
253
00:07:21,026 --> 00:07:24,236
Everything that you need
to handle in a big hurry
254
00:07:24,271 --> 00:07:27,211
has to be right here so both
of us can take care of it.
255
00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:27,929
- Decent!
256
00:07:27,964 --> 00:07:28,934
- You got it right.
257
00:07:28,965 --> 00:07:30,825
And then over on this
side I handle like,
258
00:07:30,864 --> 00:07:32,804
environmental controls,
and then the computers are
259
00:07:32,831 --> 00:07:35,801
above my head, and you got all
the reaction control system
260
00:07:35,834 --> 00:07:37,774
above your head. You
gotta take care of that.
261
00:07:37,802 --> 00:07:39,872
- Okay, so if we just
got into here,
262
00:07:39,907 --> 00:07:41,667
and we were just, ya' know,
and I mean,
263
00:07:41,702 --> 00:07:44,122
we'd be on our backs right?
Pointin' straight up.
264
00:07:44,153 --> 00:07:45,883
This is, sort of a simulator
265
00:07:45,913 --> 00:07:46,953
- Right. Right.
type thing.
266
00:07:46,983 --> 00:07:48,683
- But, like, if we
just climbed in,
267
00:07:48,709 --> 00:07:50,499
and we were gettin' ready
to go to space,
268
00:07:50,539 --> 00:07:51,709
what would be the first
thing ya' do?
269
00:07:51,747 --> 00:07:54,397
I guess ya' gotta turn,
turn her on, do ya'?
270
00:07:54,439 --> 00:07:56,549
- Uh, yeah, so you plug
in your helmet,
271
00:07:56,579 --> 00:07:57,749
so you can talk to everybody.
272
00:07:57,787 --> 00:07:59,437
- Okay. Yeah.
We got our helmets plugged in.
273
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,069
Do a COMCHECK. You hear
me all right?
274
00:08:01,101 --> 00:08:02,381
- Yes, COMCHECK.
All right.
275
00:08:02,412 --> 00:08:04,482
We gotta talk to Houston.
276
00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:05,548
- Come in, Houston.
277
00:08:05,588 --> 00:08:07,488
- Houston, hears you
loud and clear.
278
00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:10,591
It'd be uh, commander, pilot,
MS1, MS2.
279
00:08:10,628 --> 00:08:11,968
Loud and clear. You all set?
280
00:08:12,008 --> 00:08:13,288
- Yup.
281
00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:15,840
- Okay. And then, uh, we
wanna make sure everything's
282
00:08:15,874 --> 00:08:17,464
powered up, we got screens
in front of us,
283
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:18,947
make sure everything's running.
284
00:08:18,981 --> 00:08:22,431
And then uh, you actually
have the most critical step,
285
00:08:22,467 --> 00:08:24,367
you gotta, you gotta
ignite the uh,
286
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:25,680
auxiliary power units
on your side.
287
00:08:25,712 --> 00:08:27,302
Three switches you gotta throw.
288
00:08:28,369 --> 00:08:29,509
Oh, that was a good
sound effect,
289
00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:31,823
that was exactly how
it sounds. In fact we,
290
00:08:31,856 --> 00:08:33,856
we make that noise as well.
291
00:08:33,892 --> 00:08:34,312
- Decent!
292
00:08:35,204 --> 00:08:36,344
[Chris laughs]
I knew it!
293
00:08:36,377 --> 00:08:38,997
- And uh, then you gotta
watch the pressures
294
00:08:39,035 --> 00:08:40,375
make sure
everything's coming up,
295
00:08:40,416 --> 00:08:42,066
and that we got
hydrolic pressure.
296
00:08:42,107 --> 00:08:43,417
And then, uh,
297
00:08:43,453 --> 00:08:44,523
three and a half
minutes before launch
298
00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:45,838
it's gonna check all
the systems,
299
00:08:45,870 --> 00:08:48,010
and the whole vehicle sways,
you gotta sway with me.
300
00:08:48,044 --> 00:08:49,844
- Is that, what's that,
what does that now?
301
00:08:49,874 --> 00:08:52,704
- So you got the big uh,
metal pieces on the back of
302
00:08:52,739 --> 00:08:54,429
the Shuttle are moving
around, and the engines,
303
00:08:54,464 --> 00:08:55,784
these huge engines, are swinging
304
00:08:55,811 --> 00:08:56,851
- Yeah, I've seen that,
all around like this-
305
00:08:56,881 --> 00:08:57,741
- On the tv. They're
moving around.
306
00:08:57,778 --> 00:08:59,638
- So the whole vehicle sways,
307
00:08:59,677 --> 00:09:01,257
and moves underneath you
as you're sitting there.
308
00:09:01,299 --> 00:09:02,159
- Decent!
309
00:09:02,990 --> 00:09:04,160
- It is decent.
310
00:09:04,198 --> 00:09:07,508
And then, uh, you're checking
everything's gonna work.
311
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:08,957
Houston's got
everything sorted out.
312
00:09:08,996 --> 00:09:10,756
You're talking to
Launch Control,
313
00:09:10,791 --> 00:09:13,171
and about two minutes
before launch
314
00:09:13,207 --> 00:09:14,617
you clear all the, uh,
315
00:09:14,657 --> 00:09:17,207
the extraneous memory
out of the computers,
316
00:09:17,246 --> 00:09:18,446
and then the Launch Director
317
00:09:18,488 --> 00:09:21,318
gives you basically a
go to launch.
318
00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:22,253
- My god.
319
00:09:23,114 --> 00:09:24,704
Imagine that.
320
00:09:24,736 --> 00:09:26,946
[somber piano music]
321
00:09:26,980 --> 00:09:27,950
- Hi, I'm Julian.
322
00:09:29,016 --> 00:09:30,976
I've been on my own
since I was six or seven,
323
00:09:31,018 --> 00:09:32,778
that's when I started
drinking rum.
324
00:09:32,813 --> 00:09:34,503
My life has been fucked up, but,
325
00:09:34,539 --> 00:09:35,779
I'm a survivor.
326
00:09:35,816 --> 00:09:37,536
If you want advice I'll
give it to ya'.
327
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,917
If you use it, that's
fine, but if you don't,
328
00:09:39,958 --> 00:09:41,618
I really don't give a fuck.
329
00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:44,687
[Julian sighs]
330
00:09:44,722 --> 00:09:47,482
- Julian! we gotta go bud,
let's go.
331
00:09:47,517 --> 00:09:51,107
- Oh, for fuck sakes. [sighs]
332
00:09:52,488 --> 00:09:54,488
[ice clinks]
333
00:09:54,524 --> 00:09:56,634
Hey this is "Dear Julian,"
I'm Julian.
334
00:09:57,251 --> 00:09:58,671
And today I'm fucked,
335
00:09:58,701 --> 00:10:01,981
and I shouldn't even be here
right now doing this shit, but.
336
00:10:02,015 --> 00:10:04,115
I'm gonna get some rum for it.
337
00:10:04,155 --> 00:10:06,945
And I'm doin' uh, Ricky's
with me. Ricky?
338
00:10:06,985 --> 00:10:08,085
[Ricky groans]
339
00:10:08,124 --> 00:10:10,894
Rick wake up, just say hi or,
whatever.
340
00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:12,510
- What is it we're doin'?
341
00:10:12,542 --> 00:10:14,612
- It's their "Dear Julian's,
we gotta answer some quest-
342
00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:16,818
give people advice, answer
their questions, and-
343
00:10:16,857 --> 00:10:18,787
- What the f- "Dear Julian,"
what is that?
344
00:10:18,825 --> 00:10:19,895
- It's dear, it's like,
345
00:10:19,929 --> 00:10:22,039
ya' know how there's like
a "Dear Abby?"
346
00:10:22,069 --> 00:10:23,729
This is "Dear Julian" I'm
giving ya' like,
347
00:10:23,761 --> 00:10:26,661
straight up advice on shit, and-
348
00:10:26,695 --> 00:10:27,695
- You give advice?
349
00:10:27,730 --> 00:10:28,800
- Yeah I give advice
350
00:10:28,835 --> 00:10:30,525
because I've been
through a lot of shit
351
00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:32,360
in my life, man.
352
00:10:32,390 --> 00:10:33,490
- Are you good at it?
353
00:10:33,529 --> 00:10:35,189
- I don't fucking care.
354
00:10:35,220 --> 00:10:36,770
- Couldn't you give
me some advice?
355
00:10:36,808 --> 00:10:38,568
- Yeah, you gotta help me
answer these questions.
356
00:10:38,603 --> 00:10:40,543
We've been up all night,
we haven't-
357
00:10:40,570 --> 00:10:42,430
What time did we
start yesterday?
358
00:10:42,469 --> 00:10:44,019
- [groans] 11.
359
00:10:44,057 --> 00:10:45,057
- 11 a.m.?
360
00:10:45,921 --> 00:10:46,891
And-
361
00:10:46,922 --> 00:10:48,412
- Give me some advice,
how many days a week
362
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:49,650
do you think we can
party like that,
363
00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:51,893
and still live till we're 85?
364
00:10:53,135 --> 00:10:55,825
- Oh you can't. You can't
party like that everyday man.
365
00:10:55,862 --> 00:10:57,212
[Ricky sighs]
You'd be dead.
366
00:10:57,242 --> 00:10:58,312
- Three days a week?
367
00:10:58,347 --> 00:11:00,447
- Nah, you could probab- Nah.
368
00:11:01,833 --> 00:11:03,253
We party like we did last night,
369
00:11:03,283 --> 00:11:04,493
we'd be dead in two years.
370
00:11:04,525 --> 00:11:07,045
- I gotta try to
drink through this
371
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:08,530
[sighs] hangover.
372
00:11:08,564 --> 00:11:10,574
- All right, lets get
this started.
373
00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:12,050
- Jeff C. Dear Julian,
374
00:11:12,085 --> 00:11:15,225
Are hockey fights a good
way to learn self-defense?
375
00:11:16,745 --> 00:11:18,465
You been in a lot of
hockey fights.
376
00:11:18,505 --> 00:11:19,395
- Well I'd say,
377
00:11:19,437 --> 00:11:20,707
if you don't get good at it,
378
00:11:20,749 --> 00:11:23,479
you get the fucking living
shit kicked outta ya', so,
379
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:27,414
yeah you learn pretty fuckin'
quick that,
380
00:11:27,445 --> 00:11:28,305
you're not gonna win the fight
381
00:11:28,342 --> 00:11:29,862
you're gonna get fuckin' hurt.
382
00:11:30,620 --> 00:11:31,240
[indistinct]
Hockey fights,
383
00:11:31,276 --> 00:11:32,276
I mean, you-
384
00:11:32,312 --> 00:11:33,312
People don't understand this,
but,
385
00:11:33,347 --> 00:11:35,937
when you grab the shirt,
you gotta try to grab
386
00:11:37,179 --> 00:11:38,909
both parts of the shirt and
grab 'em as tight as you can
387
00:11:38,939 --> 00:11:42,249
that way the guy can barely
fuckin' throw his little
388
00:11:42,287 --> 00:11:44,357
dinosaur arms at ya',
389
00:11:44,393 --> 00:11:46,503
'cause they're tied up.
390
00:11:46,533 --> 00:11:47,573
Just one piece of advice,
391
00:11:47,603 --> 00:11:48,813
but self def-
[low croak]
392
00:11:48,846 --> 00:11:50,156
What the fuck is that?
393
00:11:50,192 --> 00:11:51,402
[low croak]
394
00:11:51,434 --> 00:11:53,024
Oh, is that Dopey?
395
00:11:53,057 --> 00:11:53,917
- Dopey?
396
00:11:53,954 --> 00:11:55,824
- I was wondering
where Dopey went.
397
00:11:55,853 --> 00:11:56,723
Dopey the pig.
398
00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:57,580
[low croak]
399
00:11:57,613 --> 00:11:59,173
- That is- You know what?
400
00:11:59,201 --> 00:12:00,341
[low croak x2]
401
00:12:00,374 --> 00:12:03,524
That pig is fucked man,
that's why I'm so fucked.
402
00:12:03,550 --> 00:12:04,760
- Well sometimes
403
00:12:04,793 --> 00:12:05,833
at a party he's fun
- You put the joint in it?
404
00:12:05,863 --> 00:12:08,073
Yeah, you put the joint
in it like that.
405
00:12:08,106 --> 00:12:11,316
[rapid croaking]
[load inhales]
406
00:12:11,351 --> 00:12:13,281
[sighs] fuckin' wish I
had a joint right now
407
00:12:13,318 --> 00:12:14,728
it'd probably go my head
- No no, I would not
408
00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:16,668
I'm not ever fuckin'
smokin' from Dopey the pig
409
00:12:16,701 --> 00:12:17,771
ever again man.
410
00:12:17,806 --> 00:12:19,496
- This breakfast is shitty,
by the way.
411
00:12:19,531 --> 00:12:20,391
- Well th-
412
00:12:21,568 --> 00:12:25,638
- Cheesies, licker-din-lish,
and chocolate things.
413
00:12:25,675 --> 00:12:26,535
- Like no, that's not
breakfast man
414
00:12:26,573 --> 00:12:29,473
it's just shit that's left over.
415
00:12:29,507 --> 00:12:30,227
All right.
416
00:12:30,266 --> 00:12:31,466
- What was the question?
417
00:12:31,509 --> 00:12:33,929
- It's a, it's a good way
to learn self defense,
418
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:36,170
actually it's not, it's,
self defense is one thing
419
00:12:36,203 --> 00:12:38,383
but it's, it's more like
it's a better way
420
00:12:38,412 --> 00:12:40,212
to learn how to kick
the fuck outta somebody.
421
00:12:40,242 --> 00:12:40,932
- Yeah.
422
00:12:40,967 --> 00:12:42,037
- Not self defense.
423
00:12:42,071 --> 00:12:43,521
- Normally when you're
running around the streets
424
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:45,275
you're not on fuckin' skates so.
425
00:12:45,316 --> 00:12:46,766
- So you got- I mean,
it's easier.
426
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,530
You just get in there and
fuckin' grab the person
427
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:49,600
just start wailin' on them
428
00:12:49,630 --> 00:12:50,600
like he said
- If you're a good hockey
429
00:12:50,631 --> 00:12:51,561
fighter you're gonna
be a fuckin'
430
00:12:51,598 --> 00:12:53,148
good brawler on the streets.
431
00:12:53,186 --> 00:12:53,906
- Yeah.
432
00:12:53,945 --> 00:12:54,735
- So yes, I guess? I don't know.
433
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:55,884
- All right that's a yes.
434
00:12:55,913 --> 00:12:57,543
Brian Josh [indistinct]
- Stupid question.
435
00:12:57,569 --> 00:12:59,359
It's very stupid.
436
00:12:59,399 --> 00:13:02,539
[groovy guitar music]
437
00:13:11,860 --> 00:13:16,040
♪ We passed upon the stair
438
00:13:16,071 --> 00:13:20,011
♪ We spoke of was and when
439
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:24,010
♪ And although I wasn't there
440
00:13:24,044 --> 00:13:28,084
♪ He said I was his friend
441
00:13:28,117 --> 00:13:31,947
♪ Which came as some surprise
442
00:13:31,983 --> 00:13:35,123
♪ I spoke into his eyes
443
00:13:35,159 --> 00:13:39,059
♪ I thought you died alone
444
00:13:39,094 --> 00:13:44,274
♪ A long long time ago
445
00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:49,550
♪ No no, not me
446
00:13:49,587 --> 00:13:53,347
♪ I never lost control
447
00:13:53,384 --> 00:13:55,354
♪ You're face
448
00:13:55,386 --> 00:13:57,176
♪ To face
449
00:13:57,215 --> 00:14:00,625
♪ With the man who
sold the world ♪
450
00:14:00,667 --> 00:14:03,977
[groovy guitar music]
451
00:14:12,921 --> 00:14:16,681
♪ I laughed and shook his hand
452
00:14:16,717 --> 00:14:20,887
♪ And made my way back home
453
00:14:20,929 --> 00:14:24,929
♪ I searched for form and land
454
00:14:24,967 --> 00:14:28,797
♪ For years and years I roamed
455
00:14:28,833 --> 00:14:32,913
♪ And I gazed a gazeley stare
456
00:14:32,941 --> 00:14:36,011
♪ At all the million hills
457
00:14:36,047 --> 00:14:40,017
♪ I must have died alone
458
00:14:40,051 --> 00:14:45,261
♪ A long long time ago
459
00:14:46,126 --> 00:14:48,396
♪ Who knows
460
00:14:48,439 --> 00:14:50,129
♪ Not me
461
00:14:50,165 --> 00:14:54,125
♪ We never lost control
462
00:14:54,169 --> 00:14:56,309
♪ You're face
463
00:14:56,343 --> 00:14:58,173
♪ To face
464
00:14:58,207 --> 00:15:01,827
♪ With the man who
sold the world ♪
465
00:15:01,866 --> 00:15:05,146
[groovy guitar music]
466
00:15:16,570 --> 00:15:18,680
♪ Who knows
467
00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:20,610
♪ Not me
468
00:15:20,643 --> 00:15:24,653
♪ I never lost control
469
00:15:24,682 --> 00:15:26,622
♪ You're face
470
00:15:26,649 --> 00:15:28,439
♪ To face
471
00:15:28,479 --> 00:15:31,789
♪ With the man who
sold the world ♪
472
00:15:31,827 --> 00:15:35,137
[groovy guitar music]
473
00:16:04,653 --> 00:16:09,973
♪ La da da da da da da
[music fades]
474
00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:12,113
[pipe music]
475
00:16:12,143 --> 00:16:14,283
The Jim Lahey Show
476
00:16:14,318 --> 00:16:15,458
And Randy.
477
00:16:17,873 --> 00:16:20,743
[ice clinking]
478
00:16:20,772 --> 00:16:21,702
- Did you say action?
479
00:16:21,739 --> 00:16:22,669
- [Offscreen Man] Uh, yes.
480
00:16:22,705 --> 00:16:24,115
- He said fuckin' action, Randy!
481
00:16:24,155 --> 00:16:26,875
- Well you're supposed to say
"welcome everybody" Mr. Lahey.
482
00:16:26,916 --> 00:16:28,156
- You say it today, Randy.
483
00:16:28,194 --> 00:16:31,404
- All right, welcome to the
Randy and Mr. Lahey show
484
00:16:31,438 --> 00:16:34,678
- You people are a part
of an exclusiating, uh,
485
00:16:34,717 --> 00:16:37,477
group of people who
are fans of pillertalk.
486
00:16:37,513 --> 00:16:38,413
Right, Randy?
487
00:16:38,445 --> 00:16:39,715
- Mr. Lahey, that's not
the right way,
488
00:16:39,757 --> 00:16:41,517
you're supposed to say
"Welcome to the Mr. Lahey-"
489
00:16:41,552 --> 00:16:43,242
- Okay we're starting
fresh, brand new, okay?
490
00:16:43,278 --> 00:16:44,208
[indistinct]
Here we go.
491
00:16:44,244 --> 00:16:46,324
Three, two, one, action
492
00:16:46,350 --> 00:16:48,590
Good afternoon labies
and genlemen.
493
00:16:48,628 --> 00:16:51,078
Jim Lahey, Sunnyvale
Trailer Park Supervisor
494
00:16:51,113 --> 00:16:52,013
at your service.
495
00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:53,215
And, thank you.
496
00:16:53,253 --> 00:16:54,773
- That was excellent Mr. Lahey.
497
00:16:54,806 --> 00:16:55,666
- [laughs] Thank you, Randy.
498
00:16:55,704 --> 00:16:56,714
- We got a great show, right?
499
00:16:56,739 --> 00:16:58,979
- Right. I'm gonna do a
cheers to the audience
500
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,948
here's a cheers to the audience.
501
00:17:00,985 --> 00:17:02,115
- Give me this drink
right here, Mr. Lahey.
502
00:17:02,159 --> 00:17:03,469
- Oh, Randy that's straight up,
503
00:17:03,505 --> 00:17:05,225
have a little sippie poo
- I'll just have a little sip.
504
00:17:05,265 --> 00:17:06,775
Say Cheers, audience!
505
00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:08,888
- Yeah, cheers. Okay, so,
[claps]
506
00:17:08,924 --> 00:17:12,004
we have so many things to do
today, I'll just tell you.
507
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:15,481
We have, oh! A special!
Special new,
508
00:17:15,517 --> 00:17:17,617
what do you call it when
you put a new segment in?
509
00:17:17,657 --> 00:17:18,867
[two horn honk]
510
00:17:18,899 --> 00:17:21,319
joke of the day. Joke, I
might as well start off
511
00:17:21,350 --> 00:17:22,800
with the joke of the day.
512
00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:23,944
- Joke of the-
Randy's bellybutton!
513
00:17:23,973 --> 00:17:24,873
[Lahey laughs]
514
00:17:24,905 --> 00:17:25,595
- That's not the
joke of the day,
515
00:17:25,630 --> 00:17:26,740
Mr. Lahey.
- It is.
516
00:17:26,769 --> 00:17:28,809
It's an innie. It sh-
when he gets horny
517
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:30,050
- It's not it's an
outie everybody,
518
00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:30,983
look.
- No it isn't,
519
00:17:31,015 --> 00:17:32,975
it holds two ounces of alcohol.
520
00:17:33,017 --> 00:17:33,637
- Well that's the hair.
521
00:17:33,673 --> 00:17:35,023
- [Lahey] Yeah.
522
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,784
- [Randy] Sometimes the hair
catches things, Mr. Lahey.
523
00:17:36,814 --> 00:17:37,854
- [Lahey] Randy.
524
00:17:37,884 --> 00:17:38,994
- [Randy] You gotta
pull stuff out.
525
00:17:39,023 --> 00:17:40,093
- That's just-
- Even though I don't wear
526
00:17:40,128 --> 00:17:42,408
shirts, like if you go,
it's at least,
527
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,370
holds an ounce, right, Mr.
Lahey?
528
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:45,894
[two horn honk]
529
00:17:45,926 --> 00:17:46,956
- Joke of the day.
530
00:17:46,996 --> 00:17:49,276
This is the story of
the guy who,
531
00:17:49,309 --> 00:17:52,139
the three guys, uh, one guy.
532
00:17:52,174 --> 00:17:54,214
- "The Three Little Pigs?"
[Lahey laughs]
533
00:17:54,245 --> 00:17:56,105
- The one- no. There's
three guys, right?
534
00:17:56,144 --> 00:17:57,424
- Three pigs
535
00:17:57,455 --> 00:18:00,075
- Three guys, and they're
gonna have a beer together.
536
00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:02,603
And they put the beer down,
and uh,
537
00:18:02,633 --> 00:18:04,813
the fuckin' heads in
the beer are all heads,
538
00:18:04,842 --> 00:18:07,812
and three flies land on
the heads of the beer
539
00:18:07,845 --> 00:18:09,045
all at the same time.
540
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:12,128
The first guy, he goes,
"oh that's disgusting"
541
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:13,440
and he pushes it away.
542
00:18:13,471 --> 00:18:16,061
And the second guy says "oh
that won't matter at all"
543
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,545
and he takes the fly
and he throws 'em
544
00:18:18,580 --> 00:18:19,240
- What did he say?
545
00:18:19,270 --> 00:18:20,820
- "That won't matter at all"
546
00:18:20,858 --> 00:18:22,378
- Oh, oh where's he from?
547
00:18:22,411 --> 00:18:25,101
- Ireland, or Scotland, or
New Finland, or somewhere.
548
00:18:25,138 --> 00:18:27,278
Okay, and the third guy
picks up the fuckin' fly,
549
00:18:27,313 --> 00:18:29,523
holds the little shitbag
like this, and he goes
550
00:18:29,556 --> 00:18:32,586
"Okay ya' little bugger,
spit it out."
551
00:18:33,250 --> 00:18:34,420
Get it, Randy?
552
00:18:34,458 --> 00:18:36,628
- 'cause he didn't want him
to drink any of the beer?
553
00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:37,597
[both laugh]
554
00:18:37,633 --> 00:18:39,083
A little fly!
[two horn honk]
555
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:43,088
- That's the new segment on
our show called joke of the da-
556
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:46,262
Oh, look, Randy. It
has a mind of it's own.
557
00:18:46,297 --> 00:18:47,987
[two horn honk]
Oh look at this!
558
00:18:48,023 --> 00:18:49,133
Lookit-
559
00:18:49,162 --> 00:18:50,342
Fuck off.
[two horn honk]
560
00:18:50,370 --> 00:18:51,510
- You got some cool stuff
on your desk, Mr. Lahey,
561
00:18:51,544 --> 00:18:53,174
- I know I-
I like this guy.
562
00:18:53,201 --> 00:18:54,171
- Yeah, it's wonderful.
563
00:18:54,202 --> 00:18:55,132
- He's a Mountie.
564
00:18:55,168 --> 00:18:56,578
- I know.
565
00:18:56,618 --> 00:18:58,138
Randy and I play
Mountie all the time.
566
00:18:58,171 --> 00:19:00,041
- That's liquor, Mr. Lahey!
567
00:19:00,069 --> 00:19:01,729
- This is a-
568
00:19:01,761 --> 00:19:03,631
somebody-
- It's whiskey!
569
00:19:03,659 --> 00:19:05,699
Where does the liquor
come out of, his arse?
570
00:19:05,730 --> 00:19:09,420
- Randy don't be silly.
Unbuc-screw his head.
571
00:19:09,458 --> 00:19:11,978
No no no no, still got
the little label on.
572
00:19:12,012 --> 00:19:14,982
Okay, we have, we have a,
573
00:19:15,015 --> 00:19:18,015
a nautical motif in the show,
574
00:19:18,053 --> 00:19:19,333
and people have noticed it.
575
00:19:19,365 --> 00:19:22,745
As you remember, our last
show we asked for a contest,
576
00:19:22,782 --> 00:19:24,062
for the magic box.
577
00:19:24,093 --> 00:19:24,893
[Lahey taps metal box]
578
00:19:24,922 --> 00:19:25,722
The magic box,
579
00:19:25,750 --> 00:19:26,610
this is-
- Whoa Mr. Lahey,
580
00:19:26,648 --> 00:19:28,858
that smells like- His
head comes off!
581
00:19:28,891 --> 00:19:30,621
- Have a sippie poo, Randers.
582
00:19:32,792 --> 00:19:33,932
[Randy coughs]
583
00:19:33,965 --> 00:19:35,795
That's old as shit,
doesn't get [indistinct]
584
00:19:35,829 --> 00:19:38,179
As you can see, this
little shit in a bottle,
585
00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:40,461
there's nothing like a
shit in a bottle, Randy.
586
00:19:40,489 --> 00:19:43,939
But, [taps metal box] we have
people that noticed our motif,
587
00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:45,695
and we have a contest, look-
588
00:19:46,668 --> 00:19:48,118
- What are you talkin' about,
Mr. Lahey?
589
00:19:48,152 --> 00:19:49,602
- Randy I didn't tell you,
but see this?
590
00:19:49,636 --> 00:19:53,356
This is all the way, all
the way from Australia,
591
00:19:53,399 --> 00:19:57,399
it's Crazy Cockatoo
Studios, from Australia,
592
00:19:57,437 --> 00:19:59,407
Troy Duncan Productions.
593
00:19:59,439 --> 00:20:01,579
Fuck Off Poetry Inc.
594
00:20:01,614 --> 00:20:04,764
And this- And guess what
they sent us, Randy?
595
00:20:04,789 --> 00:20:06,409
Guess what he sent us.
596
00:20:06,446 --> 00:20:09,476
Taa-daa!
597
00:20:09,518 --> 00:20:10,348
See this?
598
00:20:10,381 --> 00:20:12,211
It's a shit in a bottle, Randy.
599
00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:13,445
- [Randy] Lemme-
600
00:20:13,488 --> 00:20:16,458
- It's a shit in a bottle.
Look, check this out.
601
00:20:16,491 --> 00:20:18,291
This f- Can you see that?
602
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:20,430
That's a beautiful
little sailing ship.
603
00:20:20,460 --> 00:20:24,050
And see that? That's coral
from the Great Barrier Reef
604
00:20:24,084 --> 00:20:25,434
outside of Australia.
605
00:20:25,465 --> 00:20:26,325
- [Randy] How'd they
get it in there?
606
00:20:26,363 --> 00:20:27,953
- [Lahey] But guess what, Randy?
607
00:20:27,985 --> 00:20:29,255
Guess what he sent with it?
608
00:20:29,297 --> 00:20:32,157
There not only that
boat, but this is a boat,
609
00:20:32,196 --> 00:20:33,716
look check this out.
610
00:20:33,749 --> 00:20:34,959
See that?
611
00:20:34,992 --> 00:20:38,132
That's a ship in a bottle,
without the bottle.
612
00:20:38,167 --> 00:20:40,067
- [Randy] Oh! Mr. Lahey,
this stinks!
613
00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:41,270
- Look at this.
614
00:20:41,309 --> 00:20:44,039
You put this inside the
bottle, you slide it in,
615
00:20:44,070 --> 00:20:45,690
and then you pull on the
little string,
616
00:20:45,727 --> 00:20:46,727
you pull like this,
617
00:20:46,762 --> 00:20:49,562
and you pull the mast
straight up like that,
618
00:20:49,593 --> 00:20:50,593
and they all stand up like this.
619
00:20:50,628 --> 00:20:51,938
- [Randy] That's how they do it?
620
00:20:51,974 --> 00:20:54,294
- Like that, and that's
what's going to shit
621
00:20:54,322 --> 00:20:55,502
in the shit in a bottle.
622
00:20:55,530 --> 00:20:58,360
Randy, isn't that beautiful?
623
00:20:58,395 --> 00:21:01,395
♪ Sailing sailing over the
bounding main ♪
624
00:21:01,432 --> 00:21:02,332
But guess what?
625
00:21:02,364 --> 00:21:03,374
Randy, guess what I got.
626
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,020
- What have you got, Mr. Lahey?
627
00:21:05,056 --> 00:21:06,636
- I got a special thing also,
628
00:21:06,679 --> 00:21:09,199
now this person- Oh yeah,
we have to give-
629
00:21:09,233 --> 00:21:11,103
We're gonna spend a
special present back
630
00:21:11,131 --> 00:21:12,441
to the person from here,
631
00:21:12,478 --> 00:21:13,888
who gave us this.
- Can I see, Mr. Lahey?
632
00:21:13,927 --> 00:21:15,237
- Yeah, that's the thing.
633
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:19,074
And, guess what else? I
got another one here, from,
634
00:21:19,105 --> 00:21:21,485
uh, this is from Lawrence,
Kansas!
635
00:21:21,521 --> 00:21:23,041
And guess what it is?
636
00:21:23,074 --> 00:21:24,904
It's a record!
637
00:21:24,938 --> 00:21:27,288
And they sent this re- And
we're gonna make a contest
638
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:28,490
out of this record.
639
00:21:28,528 --> 00:21:31,218
And they wanted us to
send a record contest.
640
00:21:31,255 --> 00:21:33,355
We're gonna play this record,
641
00:21:33,395 --> 00:21:36,255
the way it was fuckin'
printed by the [indistinct],
642
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:38,395
Randy, and we're gonna
put it on here.
643
00:21:38,435 --> 00:21:41,055
Bring the camera in and
see the record going on.
644
00:21:41,092 --> 00:21:42,892
This is unbelivable.
645
00:21:42,922 --> 00:21:45,202
What we're doin' is
we're having a contest.
646
00:21:45,234 --> 00:21:47,004
Swearnet.com
647
00:21:47,029 --> 00:21:48,339
and,
648
00:21:48,376 --> 00:21:50,476
what you can do, is,
649
00:21:50,516 --> 00:21:52,926
if you know what this record is,
650
00:21:52,966 --> 00:21:54,066
you just let us know.
651
00:21:54,105 --> 00:21:57,485
[garbled record noise]
652
00:22:01,941 --> 00:22:04,601
Most of you people who
are over 35 or so,
653
00:22:04,633 --> 00:22:06,263
you woulda' heard this.
654
00:22:06,290 --> 00:22:08,220
But they fuckin'
printed the record,
655
00:22:08,257 --> 00:22:09,637
with the rel- Like you know,
when they-
656
00:22:09,673 --> 00:22:11,303
- It's backwards, Mr. Lahey!
657
00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:13,920
- [Lahey] I know it is, it's
just like that Beatles record!
658
00:22:13,953 --> 00:22:16,783
[garbled record continues]
659
00:22:16,818 --> 00:22:20,198
If anybody knows what
this record is,
660
00:22:20,235 --> 00:22:22,375
next time we have a Lahey
and Randy show,
661
00:22:22,410 --> 00:22:23,450
what we're gonna do,
662
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:25,380
is we're gonna play
the other side,
663
00:22:25,413 --> 00:22:26,623
can't let you see it.
664
00:22:26,655 --> 00:22:28,105
But the other side of the
record is when it goes
665
00:22:28,139 --> 00:22:29,379
- Hide it, Mr. Lahey!
666
00:22:29,417 --> 00:22:30,937
- [Lahey] Hide wha- Randy,
you can't see it anymore.
667
00:22:30,970 --> 00:22:32,210
- Okay
668
00:22:32,247 --> 00:22:34,107
- [Lahey] But look at
this, I'll show it to you.
669
00:22:34,145 --> 00:22:36,215
You remember this? [giggles]
670
00:22:36,251 --> 00:22:37,151
- Lemme see!
671
00:22:37,183 --> 00:22:38,773
- Don't you say a fuckin' word.
672
00:22:38,805 --> 00:22:42,425
All right, so we're moving on,
and,
673
00:22:42,464 --> 00:22:43,914
what we're gonna do is, oh.
674
00:22:43,948 --> 00:22:46,368
First I have to have a
little drinkie poo.
675
00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:48,876
- [Randy] I'll put this back,
Mr. Lahey.
676
00:22:48,919 --> 00:22:50,089
- It's okay, Randy.
677
00:22:50,127 --> 00:22:51,507
You-
678
00:22:51,542 --> 00:22:53,582
You have to have a little-
679
00:22:53,613 --> 00:22:55,793
liquor fruit for the
breakfast morning.
680
00:22:57,824 --> 00:22:59,034
[rattling noise]
681
00:22:59,067 --> 00:23:00,277
- [Ricky] Oh yeah, you
fucked her really good.
682
00:23:00,309 --> 00:23:01,859
- Oh, she won't come off!
683
00:23:01,897 --> 00:23:02,967
Gimme another one.
684
00:23:03,002 --> 00:23:04,942
- [Ricky] Here, there's
an oven mitt.
685
00:23:04,969 --> 00:23:06,039
- Oh yeah, gimme that.
686
00:23:07,386 --> 00:23:09,696
- Don't burn yourself Bubbles.
- I'm tryin' not to.
687
00:23:09,733 --> 00:23:11,633
- Hey I got both eyes open but
- Hold the stick, Ricky
688
00:23:11,666 --> 00:23:13,906
the brain's still sleepin'!
689
00:23:13,944 --> 00:23:14,634
- Ah, there we go.
690
00:23:14,669 --> 00:23:15,979
- Ah, she fuckin' came apart.
691
00:23:16,015 --> 00:23:17,905
- Oh yeah, but look at that!
692
00:23:17,948 --> 00:23:20,228
- [Julian] Bubs, he's
passin' out back there.
693
00:23:20,260 --> 00:23:20,950
- Terry!
694
00:23:22,055 --> 00:23:23,635
Here, bud, come here
for one second.
695
00:23:23,678 --> 00:23:25,128
- Fuck, man, you fucked 'er.
696
00:23:25,162 --> 00:23:26,202
- [Bubbles] Before you pass out.
697
00:23:26,232 --> 00:23:28,442
- [Julian] Ricky, watch out man!
698
00:23:28,476 --> 00:23:30,336
- Look at that hot dog.
- Holy sh-
699
00:23:30,374 --> 00:23:31,694
That's the most,
- Right?
700
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:35,070
beautiful thing I seen
in my whole fuckin' life.
701
00:23:35,103 --> 00:23:35,763
- Eh?
702
00:23:35,793 --> 00:23:37,143
- Can you sauce her for me?
703
00:23:37,174 --> 00:23:38,244
- Yes sir!
704
00:23:38,278 --> 00:23:39,998
- [Terry] Holy fuck!
705
00:23:40,039 --> 00:23:41,969
[Terry whoops]
- Easy with the sauce, Bubs.
706
00:23:42,006 --> 00:23:43,206
- Right on!
707
00:23:43,249 --> 00:23:44,939
- Holy fuckin'-
- Pump that up!
708
00:23:44,975 --> 00:23:46,315
Whoa!
709
00:23:46,355 --> 00:23:47,175
- Yes sir.
710
00:23:47,218 --> 00:23:48,938
- Jesus.
- Holy shit.
711
00:23:48,979 --> 00:23:51,019
How did this-
- Get 'er in there!
712
00:23:51,050 --> 00:23:52,190
I'm gonna try!
713
00:23:53,328 --> 00:23:54,948
- [Ricky] Ah man.
714
00:23:54,985 --> 00:23:55,985
- It's hot!
715
00:23:56,020 --> 00:23:56,780
- [Ricky] I bet it is,
716
00:23:56,814 --> 00:23:58,714
yeah be careful man.
- Oh fuck!
717
00:23:58,747 --> 00:24:00,467
[Terry exclaims]
[Guys laughing]
718
00:24:00,508 --> 00:24:02,298
- She's gonna be real hot-
719
00:24:02,337 --> 00:24:03,197
- WOO!
- Let's end it, man.
720
00:24:03,234 --> 00:24:06,344
[ocean sounds]
721
00:24:06,375 --> 00:24:09,685
[boat motor chugging]
722
00:24:19,319 --> 00:24:21,979
[fish cursing]
723
00:24:32,056 --> 00:24:33,056
- Fuck off.
724
00:24:33,106 --> 00:24:37,656
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