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1
00:00:03,640 --> 00:00:06,552
This is it. Royston Vasey.
2
00:00:06,760 --> 00:00:08,876
These pictures don't do it justice, Mr Wint.
3
00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:14,029
They do not, Mr Kidd. Remember,
that's before, and this is after.
4
00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:22,000
- Aye, aye...
- What is it?
5
00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:26,239
You tell me. That's not meant to be there.
6
00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:32,388
Oh, aye. It'll have to go, Mr Wint.
7
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,194
I'm afraid it will, Mr Kidd.
8
00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:39,632
Shouldn't think it will be a problem.
Sure the locals are friendly enough.
9
00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:56,950
GIRL: Stop!
10
00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:00,591
Stop!
11
00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:11,197
Hey! I told you to stop.
12
00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:26,232
FROM BOTTLE BANK: Bastard!
13
00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:41,793
Good morning, Benjamin!
14
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,514
- Morning, Auntie Val.
- Did you sleep all right?
15
00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:48,551
Yes, thanks.
16
00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:51,558
Any used tissues you need to dispose of?
17
00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:56,991
No.
18
00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:00,909
- Did you meet your friend?
- No, I must have missed him.
19
00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:08,190
I was wondering if I might give him
a ring, find out what happened.
20
00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:16,711
Of course you may.
21
00:02:16,920 --> 00:02:21,118
Whilst you're staying with us we want
you to treat this place like your home.
22
00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:25,838
Just one moment.
23
00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:31,512
Go.
24
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,275
Morning, Mrs Levinson.
25
00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:53,518
There you are, Iris. I'm so glad I'm going away.
26
00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:55,995
It'll be a building site round here soon.
27
00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:59,749
Gangs of navvies whistling at women
with their bums hanging out.
28
00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:02,235
I know, Mrs Levinson.
29
00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:05,876
I've cancelled the milk, the dog's offal
and my Tarot woman.
30
00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:11,029
She didn't know I was going away,
so she can't be up to much.
31
00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:15,279
But the chicken man is coming
on Friday, so don't forget.
32
00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:19,996
Don't you hate going away, Iris?
So much you have to remember.
33
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:24,512
Jaeger suits, Gucci shoes, Chanel bag.
34
00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:27,757
Shall I put these knickers in to soak,
Mrs Levinson?
35
00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:31,873
- Do you know Antigua, Iris?
- Is he the chicken man?
36
00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:35,311
No, love. Antigua, the place in the Caribbean.
37
00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:38,398
Sapphire blue ocean, cloudless sky...
38
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:45,275
- Do you travel, Iris?
- We were going to Kendal, but...
39
00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:46,993
I don't ask for much,
40
00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:49,919
but the Carpet Warehouse
keeps Eddie working like a black,
41
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:53,157
so we can only manage
six or seven times a year.
42
00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:56,477
I don't know how some people
get by without a break. Do you, Iris?
43
00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:59,911
I'm all passion spent by the time
Rikki Lake comes on.
44
00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:04,272
Me and Ron take the dogs for a walk
up Plumpton Rocks to unwind.
45
00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:08,392
Taste is a very personal thing.
Look at you and Ron.
46
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:10,397
I wouldn't stone clad my house.
47
00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:13,831
It'd look like a white filling
in a mouth full of rotten teeth.
48
00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:18,676
It's no wonder some people
have to drink as much as they do.
49
00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:23,954
Be careful with that nightie. It costs
more than you owe Kay's catalogue.
50
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:30,595
Yes, Mrs Levinson.
51
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,560
- We've seen most of these.
- Have we?
52
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:40,829
Seen, seen, seen, seen, seen, seen, seen...
53
00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:44,476
- I haven't seen that.
- I have. It's really good.
54
00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:48,309
Is it? How many killings?
55
00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:50,636
- Seven.
- Is that all?
56
00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:54,992
He kills one by gluttony, one by greedy, sexy,
57
00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:59,955
ugly, sleepy, dopey and bashful.
58
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:01,957
It wasn't that good.
59
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:05,436
I don't like that Bradley Pitt anyway.
60
00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:08,279
Too much acting.
61
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:16,958
Look at these.
62
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:25,239
- Yes?
- Sorry, love. Are you open?
63
00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:29,433
Yes. Can I help you at all?
64
00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:32,438
You certainly can. I'm Mr Wint, this is Mr Kidd.
65
00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:37,109
- Are you local?
- No.
66
00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:41,677
We're working for PQ Construction.
We need to give you these papers.
67
00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,519
Ahhh, ahhh!
68
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:49,191
Nothing to be concerned about, just
notification that we're building a road.
69
00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:51,834
New road bad!
70
00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:02,428
This is a local shop for local people.
There's nothing for you here.
71
00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:04,915
Listen, love. We're a bit pushed.
72
00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:07,315
All you have to do is sign this
and read the document.
73
00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:11,636
Is that a crown you wear?
74
00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:14,112
It's just me 'elmet.
75
00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:16,754
'Elmet. Hi, hi, hi...!
76
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:21,078
- Yes.
- Can I touch it?
77
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:23,953
We need to speak to our superiors.
Can we use your telephone?
78
00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:27,516
Tephelome...?
79
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:29,676
Tephelome...
80
00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:31,950
Is this one?
81
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:35,916
It's all right, I've got me mobile.
It just needs charging.
82
00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:37,792
Can you show me where your points are?
83
00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:41,469
No, no!
84
00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:43,033
Edward!
85
00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:46,915
What's going on? What's all this
shouting? We'll have no trouble here.
86
00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:49,634
- They're strangers.
- Not local?
87
00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:52,912
He wears a crown and builds new road.
88
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,315
There's been a misunderstanding. Your wife is...
89
00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:57,875
- Local?
- Overreacting.
90
00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:00,116
We just need you to look at these proposals.
91
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:03,073
Look here, we don't need a new road.
92
00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:06,955
This is a community.
We don't bother the outside world,
93
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,549
we don't want it bothering us.
94
00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:15,357
It'll be no bother. Just sign this
and you'll never hear from us again.
95
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:24,473
- You're sure?
- Absolutely.
96
00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:28,719
Besides, when the new road is laid,
you'll be laughing.
97
00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:31,354
Your shop will be full of people.
98
00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:47,195
Hokey, cokey, pig in a pokey!
Good morning, job seekers.
99
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:51,313
Before I begin, I know one of
the best pens has gone missing.
100
00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:53,988
Can I have it back, please?
101
00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:57,472
Thank you.
102
00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:02,276
As you're aware, today we're going to
be looking at your career options.
103
00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:06,632
Some of you, like Ross here, will want
to follow in your father's footsteps,
104
00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:08,637
but you can't sign on forever.
105
00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:13,152
So instead we're going to be looking
at sales jobs.
106
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:16,318
Namely how to sell this.
107
00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:18,636
The Big Issue.
108
00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:23,470
Now, for those of you not in the know,
the Big Issue is a magazine.
109
00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:26,558
A bit like Bunty, but written by tramps.
110
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:30,309
Inside it's got stories and poems,
111
00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:32,556
and look, Mickey, love - pictures!
112
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:34,955
- And you, jobseekers...
- ROSS: Pauline.
113
00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:38,470
The Big Issue's for homeless people.
114
00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:41,353
- But we're unemployed.
- That's right, Colin.
115
00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:44,120
And you can earn a bit of money for yourselves
116
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,914
by selling this to real people.
117
00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:49,509
ROSS: Come off it!
118
00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:52,712
Just because we're on the dole
doesn't mean we're stupid.
119
00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:59,350
Mickey, love. What is the capital of France?
120
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:03,675
Wine.
121
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:09,351
Come on, Ross. On your feet.
I need you for this exercise.
122
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:11,393
Now then, job seekers.
123
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:13,591
Imagine, if you can,
124
00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:16,837
that we're standing on a busy high street.
125
00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:20,350
I'm an attractive young housewife.
(GIGGLING)
126
00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:29,155
And I want Ross here to sell me this.
In your own time. La, da, da...
127
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,749
- Big Issue!
- Oh, pathetic.
128
00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:36,431
"Big Issue"...Come on, Ross.
I want to see you try.
129
00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:39,074
Big Issue. Help the homeless.
130
00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:42,192
Better, you see. Now he's got my interest.
131
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:44,197
Help the homeless. It's only a pound.
132
00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:48,439
Good! Watch how I'm starting to pity him.
133
00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:50,676
Do you want a copy, then?
134
00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:53,599
Ask me nicely.
135
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:57,076
- Do you want a copy, madam?
- Ask me more nicely.
136
00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:59,475
There's no such thing as "more nicely".
137
00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:03,150
All right, look. If you buy the Big Issue
it's for a good cause.
138
00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:07,278
Beg me.
139
00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:11,512
- What?
- You heard, Ross. Beg me.
140
00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:14,439
You need the money, I don't.
Make me feel superior.
141
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:18,474
- That's no reason to buy it...
- Beg me. Be a good little doggy.
142
00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:21,877
- Your job's supposed to be...
- Sing for your supper. Beg, doggy!
143
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,957
- This has nothing to do...
- Beg, doggy, beg!
144
00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:25,559
- Your job...
- Beg me, Ross!
145
00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:27,910
No!
146
00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:30,076
No, I won't!
147
00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:34,234
What?
148
00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:36,795
I won't beg you, Pauline.
149
00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:43,391
I see.
150
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,474
Sit down please, Ross.
151
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:57,593
Well, piss off then!
152
00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:02,994
Do you want to have a go,
Mickey, love? Course you do.
153
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:05,760
We're in a high street, I'm a housewife.
154
00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:07,279
- Big Issue.
- How much is it?
155
00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:11,473
- A pound.
- Have a fiver. You see, Ross?
156
00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:13,910
Do you see how easy it is?
157
00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:16,395
It's as simple as Mickey.
158
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:20,473
You're nothing. Do you know that?
159
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:24,958
You're worthless.
Less than the shit on my shoes.
160
00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:27,355
I'm extending your restart by a month,
161
00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:31,235
and then I'm sending you on a whole
series of meaningless courses,
162
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:35,433
and then you'll come back here,
and I'm going to re-restart you.
163
00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:38,995
And the rest of you!
164
00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:41,953
Buck your ideas up.
165
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,754
Knuckle down!
166
00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:48,278
And give me those pens back.
167
00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:53,749
I'll pay for them, let me pay for them.
168
00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:57,157
It's not the money, the money's not important.
169
00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,476
Melody Maker, NME, that's 2.5, please.
170
00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:02,513
Cheers. Ta-ta.
171
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:05,553
- What's Pop always saying?
- Principles over pounds.
172
00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:09,719
Principles over pounds.
There's a principle involved here.
173
00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:12,195
That's why I've got to say something.
174
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:26,238
Oh, I'm wiped out.
I can't wait to get on that plane.
175
00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:28,271
I suppose Eddie and I are lucky.
176
00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,948
Must be hard for you, living on that estate.
177
00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:34,835
Armies of young mums with eczema
and pushchairs, and the men!
178
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:38,589
With that many tattoos their arms look
like lumps of Stilton.
179
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,950
I'd be scared to put me head round the door.
180
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:45,153
Well, we don't go out much.
Ron prefers an early night.
181
00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:48,670
Oh, them's nice panties, Mrs L.
182
00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:51,792
Thank you, Iris. Eddie got me them in Paris.
183
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:56,118
- I won't get expensive briefs.
- You should treat yourself sometime.
184
00:12:56,320 --> 00:13:00,950
I get through that many pairs, Ron
pulling at them with his big fingers.
185
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:05,358
Really? Have you packed Eddie's toilet bag?
186
00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:09,314
I've given up wearing anything in bed.
There's no point with Ron's libido.
187
00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:11,829
He's like a lad of 19 sometimes.
188
00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:15,032
Fancy. And I hope you buttoned
his shirts before you packed them.
189
00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:18,232
Five, six times a night, and the mornings...
190
00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:21,512
- When Eddie and I got married...
- It's always been like that for us.
191
00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:24,792
Like a couple of kids in love,
just gets better and better.
192
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:28,436
He has me doing things
that would make a whore blush.
193
00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:31,677
- Sometimes Eddie's in bathing trunks.
- This way, that way.
194
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:34,440
Some of it barely legal. I'm lying there thinking:
195
00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:37,677
"Will this pleasure never end?"
196
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:40,790
(HORN BEEPING)
That'll be Barbara.
197
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,638
Have to check in at the airport.
198
00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:45,400
Did I tell you we're flying Club Class?
199
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:48,114
And that doesn't mean
you get a free chocolate biscuit.
200
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:50,754
Have a nice afternoon here, Iris.
201
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:52,678
I'll see you in a fortnight.
202
00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:54,359
Bye!
203
00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:58,354
Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
204
00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:01,790
That won't leave her many options.
205
00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:21,235
We prefer if you waited 'til after six o'clock.
206
00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:45,196
You see, roadmen.
207
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:48,198
This is a local shop.
208
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:55,474
The strangers you would bring
would not understand us.
209
00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:58,558
Our customs, our local ways.
210
00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:09,118
Not necessarily.
211
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:14,474
He said I could touch his helmet
if I showed him my points.
212
00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:18,193
Is this true, roadman?
213
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:20,152
No!
214
00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:22,635
Very well.
215
00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:28,111
You heard the man, Tubbs.
216
00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:31,637
Get undressed.
217
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,152
Afternoon.
218
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,557
Hello, Hilary. I see Fleur De Lys is closing down.
219
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:49,911
I know. That's your mates from
the council putting the rents up again.
220
00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:51,951
Our hands are tied, Hilary.
221
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:56,039
This town needs some investments.
What about that new road?
222
00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:58,595
There might be some news
next week, I can't say no more.
223
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:01,872
I know, Samuel. More than your jobs worth, eh?
224
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:04,036
Ha, ha, ha!
225
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,796
- Have you got them?
- Yup.
226
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,034
- Forgot my brolly.
- Right.
227
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:35,037
Just come in.
228
00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:38,069
Very fresh.
229
00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:44,838
Usual arrangement.
230
00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:47,878
Don't see why not.
231
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:52,117
Thing is, Hilary.
232
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,550
I know it's wrong.
233
00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:02,357
It just tastes so good.
234
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:22,159
A chain of newsagents built up
from one shop on a council estate.
235
00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:26,751
Five outlets in prime retailing sites
and a booth at the War Memorial.
236
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:30,509
- That didn't fall in Pop's lap, did it?
- All right, I made a mistake.
237
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:33,109
OLD WOMAN OVER DOOR: Where am I?
238
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:38,472
Seen, seen, seen, seen, seen, seen...
239
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:42,559
- I've not seen that.
- Black and white...?
240
00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:44,591
Seen, seen, seen...
241
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:49,992
BARBARA: I think I favour
internal protection over towels.
242
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:55,432
Who wants to walk around with a big
mattress between your legs all day?
243
00:17:56,760 --> 00:18:00,548
- Just drop me off here, thanks.
- Right oh. Have a nice day.
244
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:04,271
Mind how you go. Ta-ta!
245
00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:08,840
All right, Choque? Come in.
246
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,718
- Have you met me dad?
- No.
247
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:19,150
Dad?
248
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:22,555
Dad!
249
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:26,512
Dad, this is Choque. Choque, this is me dad.
250
00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:28,836
All right.
251
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:31,759
- Is your pal a pop star?
- Dad...
252
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:33,996
Won't be long.
253
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,634
I'm in a band, yeah.
254
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:39,434
It's a great life, is rock'n'roll.
255
00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:44,069
Expect our kid told you.
I used to have a band of my own.
256
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:45,759
Cr�me Brulee.
257
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:52,598
Had a good run at it. Did Eurovision.
258
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:55,360
- Eurovision Song Contest?
- Oh, yeah.
259
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:58,438
Back in '81. Heats.
260
00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:00,517
Same year as Bucks Fizz won.
261
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:03,075
I said to Jay Aston just before we went on:
262
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:05,999
"This is where you shit your pants, isn't it, Jay?"
263
00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:11,869
Real good laugh about it.
Right good sense of humour.
264
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:14,640
What do you think of Gina G?
265
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:16,592
Rubbish, wasn't it? Ordinary.
266
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:20,076
I says to our Tom:
"It'll not win, that. It's ordinary."
267
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:24,398
Eurovision, you've got to
communicate. Look at the Israelis.
268
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:26,591
Years in the wilderness, all of a sudden:
269
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:29,837
"A Ba Ni Bi A Ba Ne Be". Genius.
What's your instrument?
270
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:35,518
It's mainly programming. Drum loops,
rhythms, a lot of sampling.
271
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:38,996
I'll tell you a good outfit: Smokey.
Do you remember them?
272
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:43,078
- No.
- Fantastic songs, really well crafted.
273
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:47,558
You should give them a listen. The
bassist runs a 16 track by Castleford.
274
00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:49,955
I go over quite a bit.
275
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:55,598
Tell you what, Choque. I have a tape
of some of my songs. Ballads, mainly.
276
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:58,712
- We'll have a listen, if you like.
- Well...
277
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:01,912
I'm sure I've got one left somewhere.
278
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:09,550
If there's owt on there you want,
you can have it. Do it for nothing.
279
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:13,514
- We don't really do ballads.
- Just take it.
280
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:15,517
What harm can it do?
281
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:21,196
Let me know I haven't lost it yet.
282
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:26,915
You could ask your record company
boss if he remembers Cr�me Brulee.
283
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:30,440
Everyone knew me around here.
284
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:32,835
I'd walk into urinal and heads would turn.
285
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:37,995
- See you later, Dad.
- Nice to meet you, Mr McQueen.
286
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:42,751
Good luck, son.
287
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:44,518
God bless.
288
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:50,476
It's a shit business.
289
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:55,756
You'll find out.
290
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:08,117
(SCREAMING)
291
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,756
Look around you. What's Pop's formula, Rich?
292
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,915
- DPI equals SIN.
- DPI equals SIN.
293
00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:36,953
Determination,
plus perspiration, plus inspiration
294
00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:38,718
equals success in news agency.
295
00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:40,911
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
296
00:21:41,120 --> 00:21:44,192
Who was the first newsagent
to charge for cards in the window
297
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:47,312
on a daily rather than a weekly rate? Pop.
298
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:53,311
Who was the first to have the vision to
sell Gingster's pasties? Pop!
299
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:56,239
We owe him, Rich.
300
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:59,830
Now, are you going to tell him or am I?
301
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,634
- Please, Al!
- It's your decision.
302
00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:07,958
Guess who's here! He, he, he!
303
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,720
Where are my boys? Where are my boys?
304
00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:14,754
Come on, I'll take you both on.
305
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:16,951
Eh, come here.
306
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:24,430
I've got presents for the both of you. Ahh?!
307
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:30,956
- Thanks, Pop.
- It's OK, it's OK.
308
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:34,311
So, how are you, eh? The booth is doing good?
309
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:38,069
I drive past on Saturday, there is
a queue all the way to the gents.
310
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,032
Doing good, Pop.
311
00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:43,277
And the cold cabinet,
cans, cartons, they're selling well?
312
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:46,677
Because I wasn't sure about these Mars drinks.
313
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,519
- They're doing fine, Pop.
- Good.
314
00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:53,429
But I have good news for you, Richie,
good news.
315
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:59,871
Al has made a great success
of his booth by the War Memorial.
316
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:03,959
For many months now
I've been searching for another site.
317
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:06,469
It has always been Pop's ambition:
318
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:10,992
A booth for each of my two beautiful sons.
319
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:22,035
You know the key cutting cubicle
by the indoor market?
320
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:26,233
Well, a little birdie tells me
the lease come up in two month.
321
00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:28,431
It's perfect for you, Richie!
322
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:33,760
There's room for a freezer unit,
a chill cabinet, and you know what?
323
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:37,430
We keep the key cutting machine!
324
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:40,996
It could open up a whole new area
for us. And not just keys.
325
00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:47,355
Shoelaces, shoe polish,
maybe one day we do repairs as well.
326
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:51,109
Perhaps soon you'll be
more successful than your brother.
327
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:54,118
I'll even start you on the same wage.
328
00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:57,630
3 pound an hour. What do you say?
329
00:24:02,360 --> 00:24:06,194
- There was an incident...
- Something happened yesterday.
330
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:10,109
When I was looking after the booth for Al.
331
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:14,954
What are you talking about?
332
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:17,754
What do you mean "something happened"?
333
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,355
- Rich was serving...
- Richie will tell me himself!
334
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:26,717
Won't you, Richie?
335
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:32,555
I want to hear from your lip what happened.
336
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:40,951
- It was nothing really, Pop.
- Nothing really, Pop.
337
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,116
Nothing really, Pop!
338
00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:48,440
Then why are you shitting in your
panties like a little Miss Smart Guy.
339
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:51,473
Why don't you tell me what this nothing was?
340
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:57,278
Some boys came.
341
00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:59,391
To the booth.
342
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:04,430
One of them asked for a Snapple,
343
00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:08,758
and I had to turn my back to open the chiller.
344
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:14,116
And when I turned around again,
they'd taken all the Maverick bars.
345
00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:22,196
How many?
346
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:26,038
Nine.
347
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:27,639
Nine...
348
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:31,195
Nine, huh?
349
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:33,709
Nine Maverick bars.
350
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,036
And you say this is nothing.
351
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:38,959
Perhaps you'll say that this is nothing.
352
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:44,073
Why do you do this to me, Richie?
Why do you do this to me?
353
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:48,068
All I want is to make you a man.
A booth of your own.
354
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:52,273
But how can I give it to you,
when you be crying like a child?
355
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:57,235
No, like a baby. It was a child that robbed you!
356
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:02,230
Look at my face!
357
00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:06,153
Look what you made Pop do.
358
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:10,390
You break my heart, Richie.
359
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:13,239
You break my heart!
360
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:18,393
Rich really is sorry for what he did.
361
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,798
Why don't we go for a walk, eh?
362
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:28,474
Yeah. We go for a walk.
363
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:31,949
Me and you.
364
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:36,073
Maybe we talk about
the key cutting cubicle, eh?
365
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:40,195
You are my son.
366
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:44,074
My only son.
367
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:06,713
Benjamin!
368
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:10,310
Did you pass a solid into the upstairs lavatory?
369
00:27:12,120 --> 00:27:14,156
Benjamin?
370
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:28,309
HUNTING HORN
371
00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:43,877
What are you going to do?!
372
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:53,995
Go!
373
00:27:57,080 --> 00:28:01,358
- Edward?
- Don't worry, Tubbs.
374
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:04,472
They won't get far.
375
00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:14,119
Hi, Martin, it's me.
I've been trying to ring you all day.
376
00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:17,551
Where are you? I'm stuck in this
shit-hole, I don't know what to do.
377
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:19,637
I don't suppose things will get any worse.
378
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:22,991
(SCREAMING)
379
00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:27,157
I'd better go,
my uncle locks up the house at 8.15.
380
00:28:27,360 --> 00:28:29,920
I'll call you tomorrow. Bye.
381
00:28:31,360 --> 00:28:36,593
SPEAKING CLOCK: On the third
stroke, it will be 8.15 precisely.
382
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:39,758
(BEEP, BEEP, BEEP)
29760
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