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1
00:00:08,366 --> 00:00:09,500
You know, Woody, no offense,
2
00:00:09,517 --> 00:00:10,917
but I always saw you
3
00:00:10,924 --> 00:00:13,626
as a living-with-
your-mother type of guy.
4
00:00:13,578 --> 00:00:15,212
Oh, yeah, we're gonna
be living with my mom.
5
00:00:15,209 --> 00:00:17,810
They're super-tight.
6
00:00:17,766 --> 00:00:19,166
Well, I guess when you meet the right girl
7
00:00:19,172 --> 00:00:20,272
at the right moment...
8
00:00:20,292 --> 00:00:22,960
I don't think there is
a right moment for me.
9
00:00:22,914 --> 00:00:24,081
Well, perhaps in the event of
10
00:00:24,097 --> 00:00:26,532
some tragic penis accident.
11
00:00:28,221 --> 00:00:29,721
I still can't believe it.
12
00:00:29,724 --> 00:00:32,126
Little Stevie Woodman getting married.
13
00:00:32,091 --> 00:00:33,391
It's, uh, "Steven" now.
14
00:00:33,401 --> 00:00:36,069
And please don't tousle my
hair. I'm a civil engineer.
15
00:00:37,462 --> 00:00:39,163
So, Danny, when are you taking the leap?
16
00:00:39,156 --> 00:00:41,057
I saw some pictures of Kim on Facebook.
17
00:00:41,043 --> 00:00:42,810
What a babe!
18
00:00:42,802 --> 00:00:45,437
Uh, it's pronounced "bore."
19
00:00:46,414 --> 00:00:48,382
So, are you two serious?
20
00:00:48,364 --> 00:00:49,431
Serious?
21
00:00:49,452 --> 00:00:51,520
Well, we did get matching cell phone cases.
22
00:00:51,498 --> 00:00:53,766
With our pictures on them.
23
00:00:53,736 --> 00:00:54,937
Well, you know what they say.
24
00:00:54,952 --> 00:00:56,685
Love means confidently
emasculating yourself
25
00:00:56,677 --> 00:00:59,012
in front of a group of other guys.
26
00:00:58,980 --> 00:01:00,047
Listen, Kim is great.
27
00:01:00,068 --> 00:01:01,902
She's funny, and smart,
28
00:01:01,889 --> 00:01:04,424
and sweet, and beautiful.
29
00:01:04,384 --> 00:01:05,250
But I just don't think I'm ready.
30
00:01:05,279 --> 00:01:06,645
Yeah, I could see
31
00:01:06,653 --> 00:01:08,687
where funny, and smart,
and sweet, and beautiful
32
00:01:08,667 --> 00:01:10,936
might get boring sometime.
33
00:01:12,408 --> 00:01:14,509
Hey, what gives with Woody?
34
00:01:14,487 --> 00:01:16,889
I haven't got an evite
to his bachelor party yet.
35
00:01:16,854 --> 00:01:17,820
I don't think he's having one.
36
00:01:17,845 --> 00:01:19,045
Oh, no. No, no, no.
37
00:01:19,059 --> 00:01:21,060
Bachelor parties are an institution.
38
00:01:21,042 --> 00:01:22,943
Here we go.
39
00:01:22,928 --> 00:01:24,528
Getting married is like going to war.
40
00:01:24,527 --> 00:01:27,029
I mean, would you send a man into battle
41
00:01:26,989 --> 00:01:28,056
without letting him say goodbye
42
00:01:28,075 --> 00:01:29,576
to his loved ones first?
43
00:01:29,579 --> 00:01:31,012
Hey, don't look at me.
44
00:01:31,017 --> 00:01:33,085
I wouldn't even let Danny go
to the store without a scarf.
45
00:01:33,063 --> 00:01:34,698
So why would you send a guy to the altar
46
00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:36,328
without first letting him say goodbye
47
00:01:36,324 --> 00:01:38,225
to a stranger's breasts?
48
00:01:38,211 --> 00:01:40,880
It's just not done!
49
00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:42,668
If you really want to
throw him a bachelor party,
50
00:01:42,655 --> 00:01:44,289
I'm sure he'd be okay with it.
51
00:01:44,286 --> 00:01:45,853
I'll show him a bachelor party,
52
00:01:45,853 --> 00:01:47,354
alright, trust me.
53
00:01:47,356 --> 00:01:49,157
Try and keep it tasteful.
54
00:01:49,147 --> 00:01:51,281
When you hosted Ryan's bachelor party,
55
00:01:51,257 --> 00:01:52,724
none of us could even
look each other in the eye
56
00:01:52,727 --> 00:01:53,727
afterwards.
57
00:01:53,750 --> 00:01:56,118
Don't worry. It'll be respectful.
58
00:01:56,084 --> 00:01:57,084
Ryan, what was the name of that, uh,
59
00:01:57,107 --> 00:01:59,041
ventriloquist stripper?
60
00:01:59,026 --> 00:02:00,760
Gloria. Ugh...
61
00:02:00,752 --> 00:02:03,588
man, that dummy did not look
good with its clothes off.
62
00:02:08,814 --> 00:02:13,814
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.MY-SUBS.com
63
00:02:18,689 --> 00:02:20,557
Guess who?
64
00:02:20,544 --> 00:02:21,879
What are you doing here?
65
00:02:21,887 --> 00:02:23,321
I knew you'd be working late,
66
00:02:23,326 --> 00:02:25,261
so I picked you up pho noodles
from your favorite place.
67
00:02:25,244 --> 00:02:26,644
"To Die Pho"?
68
00:02:26,651 --> 00:02:28,619
You're the best.
69
00:02:28,601 --> 00:02:30,069
I know.
70
00:02:30,073 --> 00:02:32,007
No, you know what? I mean it.
71
00:02:31,991 --> 00:02:33,057
You really are the best.
72
00:02:35,061 --> 00:02:38,329
Suddenly, I... am not so hungry anymore.
73
00:02:38,257 --> 00:02:39,891
Danny. Here?
74
00:02:39,887 --> 00:02:40,787
No one's in the office.
75
00:02:40,815 --> 00:02:42,316
Well, except the cleaning staff,
76
00:02:42,319 --> 00:02:44,053
but I've seen them do way worse things
77
00:02:44,044 --> 00:02:45,411
in the lunch room.
78
00:02:45,420 --> 00:02:47,988
Oh. A little warm-up for the weekend.
79
00:02:47,946 --> 00:02:50,715
Oh, crap! The weekend. I forgot.
80
00:02:50,663 --> 00:02:53,465
Oh, it's right there on
the calendar next to Friday.
81
00:02:53,414 --> 00:02:55,381
No. No, I meant to tell you, I can't.
82
00:02:55,363 --> 00:02:56,630
I'm sorry, I have to go
83
00:02:56,642 --> 00:02:58,176
to Steve Woodman's bachelor party.
84
00:02:58,177 --> 00:02:59,844
That guy you grew up with?
85
00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:01,107
I thought you weren't even that close.
86
00:03:01,118 --> 00:03:02,719
Yeah. No, Sheldon's throwing the party,
87
00:03:02,717 --> 00:03:04,184
and he's really excited about it.
88
00:03:04,187 --> 00:03:05,688
I have to do it for him.
89
00:03:05,691 --> 00:03:08,827
And, apparently, our nation's veterans.
90
00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:10,928
Well, I guess it's not
the end of the world.
91
00:03:10,902 --> 00:03:12,903
We can do it next weekend.
92
00:03:12,885 --> 00:03:14,853
Really? Wow. Thank you.
93
00:03:14,836 --> 00:03:17,136
You know, I promise I
will make it up to you.
94
00:03:17,105 --> 00:03:20,541
Well, you can start by
making it up to me right now.
95
00:03:20,463 --> 00:03:22,163
You mean...
96
00:03:22,158 --> 00:03:23,358
I just canceled a romantic weekend
97
00:03:23,372 --> 00:03:24,973
for a bachelor party,
98
00:03:24,971 --> 00:03:27,940
and you're still willing to
have sex with me in my office?
99
00:03:27,881 --> 00:03:29,815
Yeah, it sounds worse
when you say it out loud.
100
00:03:29,799 --> 00:03:32,467
I'd stop talking, if I were you.
101
00:03:32,421 --> 00:03:33,287
Roger that.
102
00:03:36,385 --> 00:03:37,752
Alright, Ryan, help me pick stuff
103
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:40,529
off this strip club menu here.
104
00:03:40,478 --> 00:03:43,279
You think the guys would
like corn on the cob?
105
00:03:43,228 --> 00:03:45,095
Sheldon, who eats food at a strip club?
106
00:03:45,082 --> 00:03:46,516
Are you crazy?
107
00:03:46,521 --> 00:03:49,055
This place just hired away
the chef from "The Glory Pole."
108
00:03:49,016 --> 00:03:50,649
Everybody's talking about his chili.
109
00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:54,559
Guys, I want to tell you something,
110
00:03:54,546 --> 00:03:56,481
but I need you to come outside.
111
00:03:56,464 --> 00:03:57,765
Why do we have to go outside?
112
00:03:57,776 --> 00:03:59,843
I don't know. It's a nice day. Fresh air.
113
00:03:59,821 --> 00:04:02,424
It's cold out there. Just tell us here.
114
00:04:02,380 --> 00:04:05,983
Is that my neighbor sunbathing naked again?
115
00:04:07,208 --> 00:04:09,008
Make room! Make room!
116
00:04:10,086 --> 00:04:11,285
Great.
117
00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:13,501
What I wanted to tell you was...
118
00:04:14,914 --> 00:04:17,515
I'm going to ask Kim to marry me.
119
00:04:18,751 --> 00:04:22,319
No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!
120
00:04:22,235 --> 00:04:24,169
So I have your blessings? Awesome.
121
00:04:30,516 --> 00:04:31,951
Okay, so...
122
00:04:31,955 --> 00:04:34,824
maybe that wasn't the best
location to tell you that.
123
00:04:34,769 --> 00:04:35,869
You think?
124
00:04:35,889 --> 00:04:38,189
Why didn't you just tell us in a gun shop?
125
00:04:38,158 --> 00:04:40,660
This can't be happening.
126
00:04:40,621 --> 00:04:41,854
He's so young!
127
00:04:41,867 --> 00:04:44,935
To be cut down now, in his prime.
128
00:04:44,872 --> 00:04:46,640
I'm not dying.
129
00:04:46,631 --> 00:04:47,932
Well, you might as well be.
130
00:04:47,942 --> 00:04:50,343
There's so much more for you to experience.
131
00:04:50,308 --> 00:04:52,410
You haven't even slept with an albino!
132
00:04:53,474 --> 00:04:56,242
Look, I love Kim. So what am I waiting for?
133
00:04:57,982 --> 00:04:59,683
Alright, look, Danny. We
got to tell you something.
134
00:04:59,676 --> 00:05:02,912
We've been holding our tongues long enough.
135
00:05:02,842 --> 00:05:04,476
Look, Danny...
136
00:05:04,472 --> 00:05:06,573
the fact is...
137
00:05:06,551 --> 00:05:09,052
we're not that fond of Kim.
138
00:05:09,012 --> 00:05:10,580
I'm reeling.
139
00:05:10,579 --> 00:05:12,713
Look, I know you guys have your issues,
140
00:05:12,689 --> 00:05:14,257
but enough is enough.
141
00:05:14,257 --> 00:05:15,390
I'm your brother.
142
00:05:15,407 --> 00:05:16,674
I just told you I'm getting engaged.
143
00:05:16,686 --> 00:05:18,553
I was hoping you could
find it in your hearts
144
00:05:18,540 --> 00:05:21,075
to be at least a little bit happy for me.
145
00:05:21,034 --> 00:05:22,902
Okay. You're right.
146
00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:24,689
Congratulations.
147
00:05:24,679 --> 00:05:25,512
Thanks, Sheldon
148
00:05:25,543 --> 00:05:27,577
I really appreciate it, guys.
149
00:05:30,626 --> 00:05:31,860
You bet, Danny.
150
00:05:31,874 --> 00:05:34,708
It's about time we started
acting rational and mature.
151
00:05:36,893 --> 00:05:40,262
Why the hell are we
acting rational and mature?
152
00:05:40,187 --> 00:05:42,488
Don't worry! I've got a plan!
153
00:05:42,456 --> 00:05:44,357
Once he sees that smorgasbord of babes
154
00:05:44,343 --> 00:05:45,978
at Steve's bachelor party,
155
00:05:45,974 --> 00:05:47,708
he'll rethink the whole thing.
156
00:05:48,979 --> 00:05:52,015
I just have to tailor it
a little to Danny's taste.
157
00:05:51,953 --> 00:05:53,087
What are you doing?
158
00:05:53,104 --> 00:05:55,404
Well, I'm ordering the "Judge Judy" package
159
00:05:55,374 --> 00:05:56,407
from the strip club.
160
00:05:56,429 --> 00:05:58,297
There's a "Judge Judy Package"?
161
00:05:58,283 --> 00:06:00,719
Yeah. I just hope they don't
send the real Judge Judy.
162
00:06:00,682 --> 00:06:02,450
That would be a buzz-kill.
163
00:06:06,309 --> 00:06:08,144
And this morning,
164
00:06:08,131 --> 00:06:10,299
the jerk takes off with
all my credit cards.
165
00:06:10,273 --> 00:06:14,210
And not even so much as
a "can I call you again?"
166
00:06:14,110 --> 00:06:15,511
Nikki, that's horrible.
167
00:06:15,518 --> 00:06:17,085
You have to cancel your credit cards.
168
00:06:17,084 --> 00:06:18,117
Ah, I probably should,
169
00:06:18,139 --> 00:06:20,940
but he's already spending less than I do.
170
00:06:24,661 --> 00:06:27,196
Hello? No. Danny's not here.
171
00:06:27,156 --> 00:06:28,523
Why are you calling this number?
172
00:06:28,531 --> 00:06:30,365
Oh, just... just wait.
173
00:06:30,354 --> 00:06:32,988
Tsk. Picked up Danny's phone by mistake.
174
00:06:32,943 --> 00:06:37,312
It's almost as if buying
matching phone cases was stupid.
175
00:06:37,195 --> 00:06:38,162
He's not here,
176
00:06:38,187 --> 00:06:39,587
but I can take a message for him.
177
00:06:39,593 --> 00:06:40,693
Mm-hmm.
178
00:06:40,713 --> 00:06:42,714
I'll be sure to tell him.
179
00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:43,861
Who was it?
180
00:06:43,878 --> 00:06:45,379
Some jewelry store.
181
00:06:45,381 --> 00:06:46,614
Calling to say
182
00:06:46,627 --> 00:06:49,096
his engagement ring is
ready to be picked up.
183
00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:51,335
Oh, my God.
184
00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:52,393
Oh, my God.
185
00:06:52,415 --> 00:06:53,215
Oh, my God.
186
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,980
Oh, my God.
187
00:06:54,973 --> 00:06:57,241
What?
188
00:06:57,211 --> 00:06:59,145
Danny's going to propose to me.
189
00:06:59,130 --> 00:07:00,931
Oh!
190
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,855
Oh, that's a little anti-climactic.
191
00:07:08,546 --> 00:07:10,914
I can't believe Danny's
planning to propose.
192
00:07:10,879 --> 00:07:12,347
Round of drinks for the lady!
193
00:07:12,351 --> 00:07:13,817
She's getting married.
194
00:07:13,822 --> 00:07:15,422
Yay!
195
00:07:15,419 --> 00:07:16,486
I don't know, Nikki.
196
00:07:16,507 --> 00:07:17,640
I love Danny,
197
00:07:17,659 --> 00:07:18,725
but I'm not sure
198
00:07:18,746 --> 00:07:20,313
I'm ready for that kind of commitment.
199
00:07:20,311 --> 00:07:21,478
- Wedding's off!
- Aww!
200
00:07:21,495 --> 00:07:23,963
Another round to drown the lady's sorrows.
201
00:07:23,925 --> 00:07:25,926
Yay!
202
00:07:25,908 --> 00:07:26,941
I just can't help
203
00:07:26,963 --> 00:07:28,329
but think of my parents' marriage.
204
00:07:28,337 --> 00:07:30,138
All that screaming and fighting.
205
00:07:30,128 --> 00:07:32,763
I promised myself I'd never live like that.
206
00:07:32,718 --> 00:07:33,718
I hear ya.
207
00:07:33,741 --> 00:07:35,008
Your parents had a bad marriage, too?
208
00:07:35,020 --> 00:07:36,520
I wish. It's perfect.
209
00:07:36,522 --> 00:07:38,891
They hold hands, wear matching sweaters,
210
00:07:38,857 --> 00:07:40,457
they're even in a choir together.
211
00:07:40,454 --> 00:07:41,354
Oh, ugh!
212
00:07:41,382 --> 00:07:44,551
It scarred me for life.
213
00:07:44,484 --> 00:07:46,585
If I turn Danny down, it'll crush him.
214
00:07:46,562 --> 00:07:48,229
I don't know what to do.
215
00:07:48,225 --> 00:07:49,359
Well, I could fake your death.
216
00:07:49,376 --> 00:07:51,643
I just need 10 grand
and a couple of molars.
217
00:07:51,613 --> 00:07:54,048
Or... you could just
218
00:07:54,012 --> 00:07:55,479
avoid any romantic situation with him
219
00:07:55,482 --> 00:07:56,416
until you make a decision.
220
00:07:56,441 --> 00:07:57,842
This is so hard.
221
00:07:57,849 --> 00:07:59,015
I mean, this decision would be
222
00:07:59,031 --> 00:08:00,832
a hell of a lot easier if I were pregnant.
223
00:08:00,822 --> 00:08:01,888
Round of drinks on the house!
224
00:08:01,909 --> 00:08:03,310
The girl's knocked-up.
225
00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:04,617
Yay!
226
00:08:04,628 --> 00:08:06,662
No, no, no, no! I am not knocked-up.
227
00:08:06,641 --> 00:08:09,009
Make it doubles. She lost the baby.
228
00:08:08,975 --> 00:08:10,241
Yay!
229
00:08:10,254 --> 00:08:12,022
Oh...
230
00:08:14,187 --> 00:08:17,323
I've built the perfect
Danny-trap. Look at this.
231
00:08:17,257 --> 00:08:18,657
I got his favorite Scotch,
232
00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:19,931
favorite cigars,
233
00:08:19,942 --> 00:08:22,811
and selected strippers
suited just to his taste.
234
00:08:22,756 --> 00:08:26,358
"12 Horny Jurors?"
235
00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:29,174
Yeah. You should see how
we do the jury selection.
236
00:08:29,119 --> 00:08:30,252
You seriously think
237
00:08:30,270 --> 00:08:32,137
this is gonna make Danny
re-think settling down?
238
00:08:32,124 --> 00:08:34,325
He's not stupid, Sheldon!
Everyone knows these women
239
00:08:34,299 --> 00:08:35,399
only flirt with you for your money.
240
00:08:37,208 --> 00:08:40,042
Did you see that? I think she likes me.
241
00:08:50,381 --> 00:08:51,816
I brought your phone back.
242
00:08:51,820 --> 00:08:53,721
Wow, what's going on?
243
00:08:53,707 --> 00:08:55,441
Whatever do you mean?
244
00:08:55,433 --> 00:08:57,001
Well, I mean, it looks like the cover
245
00:08:56,999 --> 00:08:59,200
of an R&B album in here.
246
00:08:59,174 --> 00:09:01,242
I decided not to go to the bachelor party.
247
00:09:01,221 --> 00:09:02,187
Oh.
248
00:09:02,211 --> 00:09:03,812
Oh!
249
00:09:03,810 --> 00:09:05,044
Please tell me you're getting sick.
250
00:09:05,058 --> 00:09:06,491
I better go, I don't
want to catch anything!
251
00:09:06,496 --> 00:09:08,664
No, no. I'm not getting sick.
252
00:09:08,639 --> 00:09:10,806
I just thought I would
make us a romantic dinner.
253
00:09:10,779 --> 00:09:11,746
What?
254
00:09:11,771 --> 00:09:13,839
That is crazy!
255
00:09:13,818 --> 00:09:15,785
You have to go to Steve's bachelor party!
256
00:09:15,768 --> 00:09:17,401
But I don't want to go.
257
00:09:17,398 --> 00:09:19,199
You have to go. Steve is your best friend.
258
00:09:19,189 --> 00:09:20,490
No!
259
00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:22,134
Not at all. In fact, one
time, when we were kids,
260
00:09:22,130 --> 00:09:24,265
he pushed me off my bike.
261
00:09:24,241 --> 00:09:27,643
The past is the past. No
point in harboring a grudge.
262
00:09:27,565 --> 00:09:29,399
Is something wrong?
263
00:09:31,019 --> 00:09:32,587
Look, Danny...
264
00:09:33,801 --> 00:09:36,770
Sheldon has great taste in strippers,
265
00:09:36,711 --> 00:09:38,345
and I'm just one of
those super-cool chicks
266
00:09:38,341 --> 00:09:39,275
who'd hate to see you miss it.
267
00:09:39,301 --> 00:09:40,668
Kim. Kim!
268
00:09:40,676 --> 00:09:43,077
You are super-cool.
269
00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:45,409
But you are so much more than that to me.
270
00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:48,944
And you're so much more
than that to me! Ohh!
271
00:09:48,860 --> 00:09:50,428
Doesn't it feel great to open up like this?
272
00:09:50,427 --> 00:09:51,661
Well, let's get you out that door!
273
00:09:52,825 --> 00:09:54,693
Okay, fine, but I want a raincheck.
274
00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:55,880
Tomorrow night.
275
00:09:55,895 --> 00:09:57,896
Absolutely! Tomorrow.
276
00:09:57,877 --> 00:09:59,812
Or maybe the next day?
277
00:09:59,795 --> 00:10:01,195
We'll figure it out.
278
00:10:01,203 --> 00:10:02,803
The most important thing
part is you go check out
279
00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:05,269
those primo,
grade-"A" ta-tas.
280
00:10:05,231 --> 00:10:07,999
Really? Man, I am the luckiest...
281
00:10:13,193 --> 00:10:15,194
Oh, ho-ho-ho.
Well, well, well.
282
00:10:15,175 --> 00:10:17,743
Look what the party-bus dragged in.
283
00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:20,603
And there he is now, the man of the hour.
284
00:10:20,546 --> 00:10:21,881
Thanks, Sheldon. I really appr...
285
00:10:21,889 --> 00:10:23,857
Danny!
286
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:27,142
Welcome to a night you
are never gonna forget.
287
00:10:27,070 --> 00:10:28,403
He really means that.
288
00:10:28,412 --> 00:10:29,412
Although I have found
289
00:10:29,435 --> 00:10:31,903
hypno-therapy to be somewhat helpful.
290
00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:34,433
Shouldn't this be Steve's chair?
291
00:10:34,391 --> 00:10:38,795
First rule of a bachelor party...
never ask questions, okay?
292
00:10:38,675 --> 00:10:41,010
Send in the girls!
293
00:10:47,467 --> 00:10:50,603
Let the madness begin!
294
00:10:51,753 --> 00:10:54,154
Miss you, too, honey!
295
00:10:54,118 --> 00:10:55,953
I'll be home by 9:00!
296
00:10:55,940 --> 00:10:57,274
Wh... 9:00?
297
00:10:59,010 --> 00:11:01,245
Excuse me. I'm on the phone.
298
00:11:03,486 --> 00:11:05,655
Hey, can I borrow that when you're done?
299
00:11:05,629 --> 00:11:07,029
I'm not getting any reception in here
300
00:11:07,035 --> 00:11:09,604
and I wanna say goodnight to my kids.
301
00:11:09,561 --> 00:11:11,529
Maybe we should've beefed up security.
302
00:11:11,512 --> 00:11:13,045
These guys are real wild men.
303
00:11:17,555 --> 00:11:19,221
Danny knew something was up.
304
00:11:19,217 --> 00:11:20,518
I could see it in his face
305
00:11:20,529 --> 00:11:22,162
just before I slammed the door on it.
306
00:11:22,159 --> 00:11:24,694
Look, not that I care,
307
00:11:24,653 --> 00:11:25,686
but now that you've sucked me
308
00:11:25,708 --> 00:11:26,908
into this drama of yours,
309
00:11:26,923 --> 00:11:27,889
are you really sure
310
00:11:27,914 --> 00:11:29,382
you don't want to marry Derek?
311
00:11:29,385 --> 00:11:31,719
It's Danny.
312
00:11:31,687 --> 00:11:33,988
Did he just change it?
313
00:11:33,957 --> 00:11:35,324
No!
314
00:11:35,332 --> 00:11:38,267
The point is, I don't know what I want.
315
00:11:38,210 --> 00:11:39,410
Look. He's not horrible,
316
00:11:39,425 --> 00:11:40,558
you love him,
317
00:11:40,576 --> 00:11:41,977
and he seems to like you.
318
00:11:41,983 --> 00:11:43,284
Mm, which is not easy.
319
00:11:43,294 --> 00:11:45,495
What do you mean, that's not easy?
320
00:11:45,468 --> 00:11:46,735
Well, your jaw clicks, you bite your nails,
321
00:11:46,747 --> 00:11:47,714
your nose whistles,
322
00:11:47,738 --> 00:11:48,704
and you're kinda mannish looking.
323
00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:52,211
You're not gonna end up like your parents.
324
00:11:52,183 --> 00:11:54,384
And you don't have to
worry about Danny's parents,
325
00:11:54,357 --> 00:11:56,024
'cause they're dead!
326
00:11:56,020 --> 00:11:58,788
Which is a huge bonus at Christmas.
327
00:11:58,737 --> 00:12:02,372
That is not a good enough
reason to marry someone.
328
00:12:02,286 --> 00:12:05,088
I want someone who's smart, and sensitive,
329
00:12:05,036 --> 00:12:06,436
and considerate,
330
00:12:06,442 --> 00:12:08,844
and who loves me for who I am.
331
00:12:10,247 --> 00:12:11,681
Oh. Oh, my God.
332
00:12:11,686 --> 00:12:12,819
That is Danny.
333
00:12:12,837 --> 00:12:14,204
Exactly.
334
00:12:14,211 --> 00:12:16,647
He's everything I would
never want in a man.
335
00:12:18,433 --> 00:12:21,301
Oh, my God... I want to marry Danny!
336
00:12:21,246 --> 00:12:23,147
You want to marry Danny!
337
00:12:23,133 --> 00:12:25,333
Congratulations!
338
00:12:25,306 --> 00:12:26,674
Too bad you chased him
339
00:12:26,681 --> 00:12:28,949
into the arms of some skanky stripper.
340
00:12:31,382 --> 00:12:34,083
You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Larry.
341
00:12:34,035 --> 00:12:37,004
Put your phone away and start
looking at the naked women.
342
00:12:36,946 --> 00:12:38,046
Good thing he didn't
343
00:12:38,064 --> 00:12:40,499
hear your "Yo Gabba Gabba!" Ringtone.
344
00:12:41,582 --> 00:12:44,584
Hey, whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!
Where are you going, Paul?
345
00:12:44,523 --> 00:12:46,524
Want to catch my wife before she turns in.
346
00:12:46,505 --> 00:12:48,540
Turns into what? A wolverine?
347
00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:50,354
Ha, ha. Bam!
348
00:12:51,525 --> 00:12:54,060
Ellen is not only my wife,
349
00:12:54,018 --> 00:12:55,386
she's my best friend.
350
00:12:59,806 --> 00:13:01,006
Look, this party
351
00:13:01,021 --> 00:13:02,255
is not going the way I
thought it would, okay?
352
00:13:02,268 --> 00:13:04,203
I just caught a couple of the guys
353
00:13:04,186 --> 00:13:06,421
leafing through an IKEA catalog!
354
00:13:06,392 --> 00:13:07,492
Yeah, whatever. On the plus side...
355
00:13:07,512 --> 00:13:08,779
see Sheila over there?
356
00:13:10,677 --> 00:13:12,111
She's really into me!
357
00:13:12,116 --> 00:13:15,017
Ryan, she's a stripper!
358
00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:17,430
Taking accounting classes online!
359
00:13:17,391 --> 00:13:19,192
Look! She thinks I'm special.
360
00:13:19,182 --> 00:13:21,150
Now, I've run out of
money, can I borrow some?
361
00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:22,600
I'm not giving you money.
362
00:13:22,604 --> 00:13:23,770
Come on, man!
363
00:13:23,786 --> 00:13:26,488
I lent her my last dime to buy text books.
364
00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:27,739
"Lent her?"
365
00:13:27,750 --> 00:13:30,920
Yeah... that way, I know
I'll get to see her again.
366
00:13:36,128 --> 00:13:38,430
How many kids do you have, Danny?
367
00:13:39,613 --> 00:13:41,847
Just the two.
368
00:13:45,688 --> 00:13:48,957
Alright, guys. Come on. Enough is enough.
369
00:13:48,886 --> 00:13:51,153
Unless you're looking at
porn, turn your phones off.
370
00:13:51,124 --> 00:13:53,526
You know what? Just put
'em right away. Larry!
371
00:13:56,783 --> 00:13:58,216
Man, Sheldon.
372
00:13:58,222 --> 00:13:59,990
This is a weird bachelor party.
373
00:13:59,980 --> 00:14:01,948
Come on, the party's not over yet.
374
00:14:01,931 --> 00:14:04,332
Why don't we play a little
"pin the tail on the Donka"?
375
00:14:04,296 --> 00:14:05,764
Huh? Nice girl.
376
00:14:05,768 --> 00:14:07,769
Donka. Russian.
377
00:14:09,189 --> 00:14:11,623
Yeah, I don't know if I'm up for it.
378
00:14:11,587 --> 00:14:13,555
You know, all these married
guys got me thinking.
379
00:14:13,537 --> 00:14:16,873
Aww, dammit. Where is that Judge Judy?
380
00:14:16,799 --> 00:14:18,499
Obligations, responsibilities,
381
00:14:18,493 --> 00:14:21,528
kids, carpools, lawn maintenance...
382
00:14:21,467 --> 00:14:24,136
I just don't think I'm ready for marriage.
383
00:14:24,088 --> 00:14:28,090
This is the best bachelor party ever!
384
00:14:34,113 --> 00:14:36,048
Whoa! You look nice.
385
00:14:36,031 --> 00:14:37,331
New dress?
386
00:14:37,342 --> 00:14:39,744
I just wanted to look pretty
for our romantic dinner.
387
00:14:42,170 --> 00:14:44,004
Are you changing?
388
00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:47,114
Oh, right. No. I just thought, you know,
389
00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:48,562
what could be more romantic
390
00:14:48,566 --> 00:14:51,467
than a cozy, casual
night in front of the TV?
391
00:14:51,411 --> 00:14:53,646
Oh, I get it.
392
00:14:53,617 --> 00:14:55,552
Playing it cool, huh?
393
00:14:55,535 --> 00:14:57,603
I guess so.
394
00:14:58,605 --> 00:14:59,871
Oh, great. There's the pizza.
395
00:14:59,884 --> 00:15:01,218
Can you get the door?
396
00:15:01,227 --> 00:15:02,260
Right...
397
00:15:02,282 --> 00:15:04,683
"get the door."
398
00:15:09,123 --> 00:15:12,125
Oh. So you're really just the pizza guy.
399
00:15:12,066 --> 00:15:14,833
Thanks. My mom's proud, too.
400
00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:22,638
I thought we'd just hang out
401
00:15:22,617 --> 00:15:24,017
and watch the hockey game.
402
00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:25,958
We're playing Detroit,
so we'll probably lose.
403
00:15:25,942 --> 00:15:27,276
But you never know.
404
00:15:27,286 --> 00:15:29,053
You could be in for a big surprise.
405
00:15:29,044 --> 00:15:31,545
I like surprises!
406
00:15:34,479 --> 00:15:37,447
Right. This is yours.
407
00:15:37,389 --> 00:15:38,489
Oh!
408
00:15:38,507 --> 00:15:39,574
I get it now.
409
00:15:39,595 --> 00:15:41,496
You want me to have this slice.
410
00:15:41,481 --> 00:15:43,616
This specific slice.
411
00:15:45,127 --> 00:15:47,828
Yes. Because it doesn't have meat on it.
412
00:15:48,868 --> 00:15:50,101
I'd better be careful.
413
00:15:50,114 --> 00:15:52,282
I wouldn't want to chip
my tooth on anything.
414
00:15:55,869 --> 00:15:57,403
What are you doing?
415
00:15:57,403 --> 00:15:59,138
Nothing.
416
00:15:59,130 --> 00:16:01,866
I... just like the way pizza feels.
417
00:16:02,967 --> 00:16:05,636
Hmm. Must be a different slice.
418
00:16:07,221 --> 00:16:09,822
Well, I guess it's time.
419
00:16:12,239 --> 00:16:13,172
Yes!
420
00:16:13,199 --> 00:16:16,301
Yes! Yes, Danny! Yes!
421
00:16:16,236 --> 00:16:17,637
Yes to what?
422
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:19,411
I was just getting the
remote from under the couch.
423
00:16:20,808 --> 00:16:22,909
What did you think I was going to ask you?
424
00:16:22,887 --> 00:16:24,321
Uh...
425
00:16:24,326 --> 00:16:25,359
if...
426
00:16:25,380 --> 00:16:28,450
I wanted to bundle cell phone plans?
427
00:16:28,386 --> 00:16:30,086
Oh, my God.
428
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:32,282
You thought I was gonna
ask you to marry me!
429
00:16:32,256 --> 00:16:33,456
You know!
430
00:16:33,471 --> 00:16:34,904
The jeweler called the other day
431
00:16:34,909 --> 00:16:36,209
when our phones were switched.
432
00:16:36,220 --> 00:16:40,123
Wait, so you knew I was
gonna propose the other night?
433
00:16:40,025 --> 00:16:41,591
Why did you hurry me out the door?
434
00:16:41,591 --> 00:16:43,659
I just hadn't...
435
00:16:43,638 --> 00:16:46,339
decided on my answer yet.
436
00:16:46,292 --> 00:16:48,927
Wow. Okay. That hurts.
437
00:16:48,881 --> 00:16:50,382
What? You're hurt?
438
00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:52,185
You obviously had no intention
439
00:16:52,175 --> 00:16:54,242
of asking me to marry you tonight.
440
00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:56,055
So what happened? Did you change your mind?
441
00:16:57,066 --> 00:16:59,000
You changed your mind!
442
00:17:00,104 --> 00:17:01,171
Look...
443
00:17:01,191 --> 00:17:03,759
Detroit scored.
444
00:17:03,717 --> 00:17:07,453
The T.V.'s not on.
445
00:17:10,752 --> 00:17:11,986
How was the bachelor party?
446
00:17:11,998 --> 00:17:15,267
Well, it started slow, but it ended great.
447
00:17:15,196 --> 00:17:16,762
Can you keep a secret?
448
00:17:16,763 --> 00:17:18,396
Surprisingly, yes.
449
00:17:18,393 --> 00:17:19,626
I think it comes from not caring that much
450
00:17:19,641 --> 00:17:22,509
about what happens in other people's lives.
451
00:17:22,453 --> 00:17:24,454
Danny was gonna ask Kim to marry him.
452
00:17:24,437 --> 00:17:26,370
Oh, that. Old news.
453
00:17:26,355 --> 00:17:27,655
Wait. You know?
454
00:17:27,666 --> 00:17:28,832
I know. Kim knows.
455
00:17:28,849 --> 00:17:30,116
She took Danny's cell phone by accident.
456
00:17:30,127 --> 00:17:31,427
The jeweler called.
457
00:17:31,438 --> 00:17:33,840
Stupid matching cases.
458
00:17:33,804 --> 00:17:35,906
I know! What are they, 14?
459
00:17:35,882 --> 00:17:38,951
Anyway, Kim was pretty freaked out.
460
00:17:38,887 --> 00:17:42,324
Wait. Are you saying Kim
doesn't want to get married?
461
00:17:42,245 --> 00:17:44,046
Didn't. Now she does.
462
00:17:44,035 --> 00:17:46,804
In fact, she's over there
now, expecting a proposal.
463
00:17:46,753 --> 00:17:48,253
Well, she isn't getting one.
464
00:17:48,256 --> 00:17:49,624
Yeah. We shut that whole thing down.
465
00:17:49,631 --> 00:17:51,031
I don't know, guys.
466
00:17:51,037 --> 00:17:52,204
Have you met Kim?
467
00:17:52,221 --> 00:17:53,855
When she sets her mind to something,
468
00:17:53,851 --> 00:17:55,719
she's pretty good at
getting what she wants.
469
00:18:03,827 --> 00:18:06,529
Two days ago, you were all set to propose.
470
00:18:06,481 --> 00:18:08,149
What made you change your mind?
471
00:18:08,144 --> 00:18:09,445
Is it the way I say "expresso?"
472
00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:12,124
No! And it's "espresso."
473
00:18:13,932 --> 00:18:15,332
That's not the point, okay?
474
00:18:15,337 --> 00:18:17,639
When I went to Steve's bachelor party...
475
00:18:17,608 --> 00:18:19,142
Of course. Between the "boob buffet"
476
00:18:19,143 --> 00:18:20,910
and your brothers, I didn't stand a chance.
477
00:18:20,901 --> 00:18:22,535
First of all,
478
00:18:22,531 --> 00:18:23,665
the buffet was terrible.
479
00:18:23,682 --> 00:18:24,950
And the boobs did nothing for me.
480
00:18:24,962 --> 00:18:26,963
Well, I mean, they did a little.
481
00:18:27,967 --> 00:18:29,935
They're boobs!
482
00:18:29,918 --> 00:18:31,519
Look.
483
00:18:31,516 --> 00:18:34,985
All of those married guys
were so... domesticated.
484
00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:36,239
No, it's like they didn't have
485
00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:37,382
a life of their own anymore.
486
00:18:37,399 --> 00:18:38,934
So what, you think if you marry me,
487
00:18:38,934 --> 00:18:40,068
your life will be over?
488
00:18:40,086 --> 00:18:43,521
Well, not over. Just no longer...
489
00:18:43,443 --> 00:18:45,410
mine.
490
00:18:45,393 --> 00:18:47,194
Look.
491
00:18:47,183 --> 00:18:48,683
I'm just not ready yet.
492
00:18:48,685 --> 00:18:50,586
Well, now neither am I.
493
00:18:50,572 --> 00:18:53,241
Great! So if we're both
not ready to move forward,
494
00:18:53,194 --> 00:18:54,862
why are we fighting about it?
495
00:18:54,857 --> 00:18:56,191
Well, if we're not moving forward,
496
00:18:56,199 --> 00:18:57,800
what are we doing?
497
00:18:57,799 --> 00:18:59,467
I don't know. Having fun?
498
00:18:59,461 --> 00:19:01,729
Don't you think there's
more to a relationship
499
00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:02,800
than having fun?
500
00:19:02,818 --> 00:19:04,252
Well, there's sex,
501
00:19:04,256 --> 00:19:06,958
but I was afraid you'd get
mad if I said that first.
502
00:19:06,911 --> 00:19:08,712
Where are you going?
503
00:19:08,702 --> 00:19:09,969
I think we need a break.
504
00:19:09,980 --> 00:19:12,181
Okay, look. You're angry.
505
00:19:12,154 --> 00:19:13,521
Let's just talk about this tomorrow.
506
00:19:13,530 --> 00:19:14,630
I'm not angry.
507
00:19:14,649 --> 00:19:17,284
I'm sad.
508
00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:18,405
Wait a minute, what are you saying?
509
00:19:22,002 --> 00:19:23,870
He's all yours, boys.
510
00:19:25,903 --> 00:19:27,804
Tell me you did not ask her to marry you.
511
00:19:27,790 --> 00:19:29,624
No.
512
00:19:29,612 --> 00:19:32,514
In fact, I think we
might've just broken up.
513
00:19:32,458 --> 00:19:33,491
Oh.
514
00:19:33,513 --> 00:19:34,880
Wow. I...
515
00:19:34,888 --> 00:19:37,189
Um, real sorry, Danny.
516
00:19:37,158 --> 00:19:38,659
Yeah, I don't know what to say.
517
00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:40,595
So I, uh...
518
00:19:40,579 --> 00:19:44,415
don't suppose you'll be
wanting that pizza now?
519
00:19:46,047 --> 00:19:47,180
No, go ahead.
520
00:19:49,788 --> 00:19:51,087
Thanks, Danny.
521
00:19:51,098 --> 00:19:52,799
Oh, again, real sorry.
522
00:19:58,918 --> 00:20:01,853
Look, I'm really sorry you feel bad,
523
00:20:01,796 --> 00:20:03,663
but I told you from day one
524
00:20:03,650 --> 00:20:05,784
it wasn't gonna work out with this girl.
525
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:08,128
You're just too different.
526
00:20:10,492 --> 00:20:12,726
But Sheila said I was "the one."
527
00:20:12,698 --> 00:20:15,033
I feel so used!
528
00:20:15,001 --> 00:20:16,668
I know. I know.
529
00:20:16,664 --> 00:20:17,664
But look on the bright side,
530
00:20:17,686 --> 00:20:18,954
at least you're not Danny!
531
00:20:18,965 --> 00:20:21,500
Poor, poor Danny.
532
00:20:21,460 --> 00:20:22,893
He seemed pretty busted up.
533
00:20:22,898 --> 00:20:24,632
Should one of us be with him right now?
534
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:26,191
Well, he's too much of a drag to be around
535
00:20:26,191 --> 00:20:28,192
when he's depressed.
536
00:20:28,173 --> 00:20:30,341
Sheldon. We are not fair-weather brothers.
537
00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:31,482
I'll tell you what.
538
00:20:31,499 --> 00:20:33,200
After we finish these beers,
539
00:20:33,194 --> 00:20:34,994
and the round I'm about to order,
540
00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:36,784
we'll just order one more round,
541
00:20:36,774 --> 00:20:37,808
and then flip a coin
542
00:20:37,829 --> 00:20:40,531
to see who has to go hang out with Danny.
543
00:20:40,483 --> 00:20:41,650
Can we get wings?
544
00:20:41,666 --> 00:20:43,500
Of course!
545
00:20:43,550 --> 00:20:48,100
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