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1
00:00:01,200 --> 00:00:02,433
Hello!
2
00:00:02,385 --> 00:00:04,485
Oh, hey, Danny.
You, uh, busy?
3
00:00:04,403 --> 00:00:08,483
As a matter of fact, Kim is waiting
for me in lingerie at a hotel suite.
4
00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:10,854
Oh, good. Nothing
that can't wait, then.
5
00:00:10,754 --> 00:00:15,901
Listen, Danny, I want you to come to one
of my overeaters support groups with me.
6
00:00:15,696 --> 00:00:17,796
What are you
talking about?
7
00:00:17,713 --> 00:00:22,583
Oh, it's gonna be a gold mine
for my big-and-tall casket business.
8
00:00:22,390 --> 00:00:25,725
All those clogged
arteries in one place.
9
00:00:25,593 --> 00:00:29,261
You never know when one of those
chubbies is gonna drop dead.
10
00:00:29,115 --> 00:00:32,611
Taking advantage of people
at their most vulnerable, really?
11
00:00:32,472 --> 00:00:35,697
Oh! Says the man that
defended the serial killer
12
00:00:35,568 --> 00:00:38,136
that made suits
with his victims' skin.
13
00:00:39,651 --> 00:00:41,321
The guy
was found guilty.
14
00:00:41,255 --> 00:00:43,421
And he did a hell of
a job hemming my pants.
15
00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:46,552
- All right. Come on, let's go.
- What do you need me for?
16
00:00:46,424 --> 00:00:49,038
Come on, look at me.
I got the body of an Adonis.
17
00:00:48,934 --> 00:00:52,778
Nobody's gonna buy it.
I need someone who's pudgy.
18
00:00:52,625 --> 00:00:55,592
What? I'm not pudgy!
I'm solid.
19
00:00:56,049 --> 00:00:59,477
Look, it's not your fault.
You're in a relationship, okay?
20
00:00:59,340 --> 00:01:01,938
People like you don't have to
work for sex anymore,
21
00:01:01,846 --> 00:01:04,145
so, you know,
you let yourself go.
22
00:01:04,055 --> 00:01:06,890
- Come on, let's move.
- Tempting, but I can't.
23
00:01:06,778 --> 00:01:10,488
I told you, I'm going to meet Kim.
She's not done fattening me up yet.
24
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:16,006
Ryan.
25
00:01:15,937 --> 00:01:17,570
How long
you been standing there?
26
00:01:17,506 --> 00:01:20,307
Well, he was there
when I walked in.
27
00:01:20,197 --> 00:01:22,531
And you didn't think
to see if anything was wrong?
28
00:01:22,439 --> 00:01:24,139
I lost my therapist.
29
00:01:24,072 --> 00:01:27,139
Well, where was
the last place you saw him?
30
00:01:28,971 --> 00:01:31,072
Dr. Nickman just said
this was our last session.
31
00:01:30,990 --> 00:01:33,375
He's moving tomorrow.
All the way across the country.
32
00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:34,649
Well, I'm surprised
you're not going with him.
33
00:01:34,596 --> 00:01:36,264
You don't think
I asked that?
34
00:01:36,915 --> 00:01:39,994
Uh, Ryan? Look, I'm sorry
you lost your therapist.
35
00:01:39,872 --> 00:01:42,608
I'm just on my way out, but
we can definitely talk later.
36
00:01:42,499 --> 00:01:43,933
Actually, now's perfect. Thanks.
37
00:01:43,876 --> 00:01:47,844
Aw. Dr. Nickman said his parents
are older and not doing so well,
38
00:01:47,686 --> 00:01:50,321
so he's moving his entire
practice to be near them.
39
00:01:50,217 --> 00:01:52,851
Didn't he see enough
of them when he was a kid?
40
00:01:52,747 --> 00:01:55,128
I'm real sorry
to hear about all this,
41
00:01:55,033 --> 00:01:57,254
but I've got
a business meeting, okay?
42
00:01:57,167 --> 00:02:01,394
And I'm pretty sure you'll still be
just as miserable when I get back.
43
00:02:04,564 --> 00:02:08,267
Look, Ryan, you'll find
another therapist.
44
00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:09,252
Excuse me?
45
00:02:09,208 --> 00:02:12,276
Do you think I'm the type of guy that
just jumps from one couch to the next?
46
00:02:12,155 --> 00:02:14,121
I have standards.
47
00:02:14,044 --> 00:02:17,479
You told the cashier at Jamba Juice
you were afraid of dying alone.
48
00:02:17,343 --> 00:02:19,558
She asked me
how my day was.
49
00:02:19,470 --> 00:02:22,705
And I got a free
protein booster out of it.
50
00:02:23,151 --> 00:02:26,625
Well, have you talked to anybody
else in your support network?
51
00:02:26,762 --> 00:02:30,147
Your life coach?
Your acupuncturist?
52
00:02:30,013 --> 00:02:31,446
Your colonic technician?
53
00:02:33,183 --> 00:02:35,218
Well, obviously,
we're meeting tomorrow.
54
00:02:35,138 --> 00:02:38,806
But Dr. Nickman and I
were together for five years,
55
00:02:38,660 --> 00:02:41,227
and we just started
making progress!
56
00:02:41,126 --> 00:02:42,726
I know you did.
57
00:02:42,664 --> 00:02:44,697
And that was a big step
you took last week
58
00:02:44,617 --> 00:02:46,651
when you finally admitted
you and Alison were divorced.
59
00:02:46,571 --> 00:02:49,136
Ah! Separated!
60
00:02:49,644 --> 00:02:51,779
Okay, divorced!
61
00:02:51,695 --> 00:02:55,062
How could Dr. Nickman do this to me?
I just feel so abandoned.
62
00:02:54,929 --> 00:02:57,263
No one is abandoning you.
63
00:02:58,356 --> 00:03:00,055
I gotta go.
64
00:02:59,989 --> 00:03:02,224
What? You're leaving me, too?
Wait! Where are you going?
65
00:03:02,135 --> 00:03:04,117
- A hotel.
- Well, how come?
66
00:03:04,039 --> 00:03:07,118
- A romantic evening.
- Well, do you need some company?
67
00:03:07,587 --> 00:03:09,820
I'm meeting Kim.
68
00:03:11,049 --> 00:03:12,496
For sex!
69
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,151
Well, do you think
maybe I could...
70
00:03:16,067 --> 00:03:18,101
Wait in the lobby?
71
00:03:21,892 --> 00:03:23,592
Yeah, okay. Come on.
72
00:03:26,762 --> 00:03:28,629
Don't ask.
73
00:03:35,303 --> 00:03:38,303
Season 1, Episode 8
"Ryan's Therapist"
74
00:03:38,223 --> 00:03:41,223
Synced by err0001 & Reef
www.addic7ed.com
75
00:03:41,103 --> 00:03:45,020
That's five tins of mint leaves,
six tins of rose hips.
76
00:03:44,864 --> 00:03:47,731
- Nikki, how much green tea is there?
- A butt-load.
77
00:03:47,927 --> 00:03:49,794
Okay.
78
00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:53,035
Not to be all corporate and everything,
but exactly how much is a butt-load?
79
00:03:52,903 --> 00:03:54,436
Eight.
80
00:03:57,182 --> 00:04:01,429
Hey, guys. How's it going?
Are you having fun with Danny at work?
81
00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:02,609
Well, I sure am.
82
00:04:02,557 --> 00:04:05,987
"Take Ryan to Work Week"
is a blast, right, Ryan?
83
00:04:08,109 --> 00:04:10,815
Did you see we have
the new deepak chopra book in?
84
00:04:10,707 --> 00:04:13,003
You love him.
85
00:04:13,790 --> 00:04:17,112
- You should go check it out.
- Yeah?
86
00:04:16,981 --> 00:04:19,691
- You bet!
- Super idea!
87
00:04:19,784 --> 00:04:21,399
Okay.
88
00:04:24,282 --> 00:04:27,745
- You look exhausted.
- I'm barely getting any work done.
89
00:04:27,607 --> 00:04:30,346
I spend all my time trying
to find stuff for Ryan to do.
90
00:04:30,238 --> 00:04:33,171
If I don't keep him busy,
he just sits there, sighing,
91
00:04:33,054 --> 00:04:35,134
like a whale caught
in a fishing line.
92
00:04:40,038 --> 00:04:44,578
Excuse me? Could you tell me which of
these creative visualization CDs is best?
93
00:04:44,397 --> 00:04:46,495
I prefer porn.
94
00:04:46,412 --> 00:04:48,712
But a lot of people
buy this one.
95
00:04:49,461 --> 00:04:51,694
Oh. You don't want that one.
96
00:04:51,932 --> 00:04:54,048
I mean, I guess it depends
on what kind of energies
97
00:04:53,964 --> 00:04:55,831
you're trying to
channel into your life.
98
00:04:55,757 --> 00:04:59,533
This one's for inner peace, but this one
is for channeling lots of money,
99
00:04:59,383 --> 00:05:01,416
but, you know,
in a spiritual way.
100
00:05:01,336 --> 00:05:02,731
I'll take the money one.
101
00:05:02,676 --> 00:05:05,849
Well, then you should also take
"The Zen of Tax-Evasion."
102
00:05:09,265 --> 00:05:12,848
- This is fantastic. Thank you.
- Good luck on your spiritual journey.
103
00:05:12,706 --> 00:05:15,296
The shop-girl will ring
you up. Right, Samantha?
104
00:05:15,193 --> 00:05:18,094
It's Nikki,
and I'm assistant manager.
105
00:05:19,430 --> 00:05:21,697
Wow. He really
knows his stuff.
106
00:05:21,608 --> 00:05:25,377
That is the least miserable
I've seen him in weeks.
107
00:05:25,228 --> 00:05:27,117
You know what?
I have an idea.
108
00:05:27,042 --> 00:05:29,947
Why doesn't
Ryan work here?
109
00:05:29,831 --> 00:05:31,872
I don't think that
this is a good idea,
110
00:05:31,792 --> 00:05:35,027
but if it will let you finally
get some work done, sure.
111
00:05:34,899 --> 00:05:37,433
You are a life-saver.
Thank you. Mwah.
112
00:05:38,517 --> 00:05:40,716
Ryan?
113
00:05:41,588 --> 00:05:45,461
How would you like
to work here with Kim?
114
00:05:45,308 --> 00:05:49,110
Oh, I don't know. I'm pretty busy
hanging out with you.
115
00:05:48,959 --> 00:05:51,425
Yeah, but...
116
00:05:51,583 --> 00:05:53,777
She could really
use your help. Hmm?
117
00:05:53,690 --> 00:05:55,732
Maybe you could
make the time?
118
00:05:55,652 --> 00:06:00,522
Well, I-I guess I do have a few hours
to kill between napping and crying.
119
00:06:00,329 --> 00:06:02,328
That's the spirit!
120
00:06:02,249 --> 00:06:05,399
Oh, hey. Looks like
we're working together now.
121
00:06:05,274 --> 00:06:08,174
You get in my way,
I'll cut you.
122
00:06:14,538 --> 00:06:16,907
Oh, hey, Dale.
Big milestone today.
123
00:06:16,814 --> 00:06:20,881
Look, I know you're gonna beat
this eating thing, but if you don't...
124
00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:24,121
Fridge magnet.
Big-and-tall caskets.
125
00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:28,329
Oh, Jan. Wow.
Can you inspire.
126
00:06:28,186 --> 00:06:32,401
But if you ex-pire...
Please. Fridge magnet.
127
00:06:32,497 --> 00:06:34,955
Frank?
Great share today.
128
00:06:34,857 --> 00:06:37,024
Hmm? For your fridge.
129
00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:39,617
I, uh, I know you'll be
looking at it often.
130
00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:44,541
What? Hello! 'Scuse me?
131
00:06:44,549 --> 00:06:48,181
What's a hot chick like you
doing hanging around here?
132
00:06:48,036 --> 00:06:50,703
It's sort of how
I stay a hot chick.
133
00:06:50,706 --> 00:06:53,531
- You're kind of cute yourself.
- "Kind of cute"? Come on.
134
00:06:53,419 --> 00:06:56,553
I'm like a bunny snuggled
up next to a kitten.
135
00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:59,731
Anyways,
I'm, uh, I'm Sheldon.
136
00:06:59,644 --> 00:07:03,064
Stacey. So how come I've never
seen you here before, Sheldon?
137
00:07:02,937 --> 00:07:05,233
Oh, you know, I used to
go to meetings uptown.
138
00:07:05,141 --> 00:07:08,837
You know, I guess I knew I had
a problem when I hit, like, 320.
139
00:07:08,691 --> 00:07:12,544
Beat you. 360.
I had, like, eight boobs.
140
00:07:13,685 --> 00:07:16,450
Wow. That is
hard to imagine.
141
00:07:16,340 --> 00:07:18,397
So I guess I won't.
142
00:07:18,716 --> 00:07:22,516
- So, do you want to grab a bite to eat?
- Oh, I'd love to.
143
00:07:22,364 --> 00:07:24,631
I know a great pizza joint
right around the corner.
144
00:07:24,541 --> 00:07:28,351
We could share a couple of pies,
throw back a couple of frosties.
145
00:07:28,199 --> 00:07:30,863
It is great that you can joke
about your disease like that,
146
00:07:30,757 --> 00:07:35,237
but seriously, there is this great new
raw vegan place I've been dying to try.
147
00:07:35,058 --> 00:07:36,532
Yeah. Sounds delicious.
148
00:07:36,474 --> 00:07:38,994
Hey, I'm so hungry,
I could eat a whole carrot.
149
00:07:42,023 --> 00:07:44,523
- What's next?
- Uh, what's next on the list?
150
00:07:44,424 --> 00:07:49,060
Well, I finished the list. Yeah.
Look. Display cases... wiped.
151
00:07:48,876 --> 00:07:51,611
Wobbly tables de-wobbled.
152
00:07:51,503 --> 00:07:55,037
Floors, swept and mopped.
153
00:07:54,897 --> 00:07:56,097
Shelves...
154
00:07:56,050 --> 00:07:58,954
Organized by colour,
category, size,
155
00:07:58,838 --> 00:08:02,973
alphabet, and,
as you can see, aura.
156
00:08:03,435 --> 00:08:07,183
Yeah, I even managed to remove
all the gum from under the tables.
157
00:08:07,034 --> 00:08:08,433
- All the gum?
- Yeah.
158
00:08:08,379 --> 00:08:13,649
- You said it couldn't be done.
- I said it couldn't be gum.
159
00:08:13,439 --> 00:08:17,575
- Ryan, you're amazing.
- Oh, well, gold star for me.
160
00:08:21,391 --> 00:08:22,858
Oh, Nikki.
161
00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:25,879
Look! You finished
all the inventory.
162
00:08:25,756 --> 00:08:27,518
Hey, with actual numbers.
163
00:08:28,012 --> 00:08:29,177
I did?
164
00:08:29,132 --> 00:08:33,869
Actually, after I finished all my work,
while Nikki was taking a bit of a nap,
165
00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:36,315
I finished
the inventory for her.
166
00:08:36,211 --> 00:08:37,710
Guess that's
two gold stars for me.
167
00:08:37,652 --> 00:08:41,353
Yeah, and I'll tell you
where you can stick 'em.
168
00:08:42,219 --> 00:08:43,969
Hey, buddy.
169
00:08:44,086 --> 00:08:47,190
How's my favourite second-oldest
older brother doing?
170
00:08:47,067 --> 00:08:50,205
Great. Amazing. Honestly,
I feel like a new man. Huh?
171
00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:51,477
A working man!
172
00:08:51,422 --> 00:08:54,308
I mean, I'm standing on my own
two feet, earning my keep.
173
00:08:54,193 --> 00:08:57,578
Well, I'm just glad you've learned
that you can be great on your own.
174
00:08:57,444 --> 00:08:59,286
I know. It's...
175
00:08:59,213 --> 00:09:01,805
- Dr. Nickman.
- Yeah. You don't need him.
176
00:09:01,703 --> 00:09:03,217
No, no.
That's Dr. Nickman.
177
00:09:03,381 --> 00:09:04,800
What? I thought
you said he moved?
178
00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:07,898
Well, I guess he missed me
and came back. Dr. Nickman!
179
00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:09,405
Ryan?
180
00:09:11,167 --> 00:09:14,788
Wait! No! Dr. Nickman!
Dr. Nickman!
181
00:09:19,841 --> 00:09:23,068
I, uh... I guess
he didn't see me.
182
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:25,995
I'm gonna try his cell.
183
00:09:28,787 --> 00:09:30,453
I can't believe it.
184
00:09:30,388 --> 00:09:33,090
He lied to me
just to get rid of me.
185
00:09:32,983 --> 00:09:36,183
My own therapist
ran away from me!
186
00:09:36,057 --> 00:09:37,858
You don't know that, Ryan.
187
00:09:37,787 --> 00:09:41,367
He saw you, he turned,
and he ran, that's all.
188
00:09:41,950 --> 00:09:43,916
Don't go
jumpin' to conclusions.
189
00:09:44,259 --> 00:09:47,346
No, man. He was right
to run from me.
190
00:09:47,223 --> 00:09:50,503
- I'm too needy and self-involved.
- That is ridiculous!
191
00:09:50,373 --> 00:09:53,508
You're exactly the right amount
of needy and self-involved.
192
00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:56,417
All right, I know
what'll cheer you up.
193
00:09:56,297 --> 00:10:00,066
We could go to that snooty
hipster lounge you like. Huh?
194
00:09:59,917 --> 00:10:01,945
The one with
the really rude waiters?
195
00:10:01,864 --> 00:10:05,132
What's the use?
They'll probably just be polite.
196
00:10:06,769 --> 00:10:10,705
Oh, boy. How's our patient?
Still got ovaries?
197
00:10:10,549 --> 00:10:14,484
Thank God, you're here.
I don't know what to say to him.
198
00:10:14,328 --> 00:10:16,211
Okay? This is bad,
Sheldon.
199
00:10:16,136 --> 00:10:18,321
I haven't seen him
this bad since Alison.
200
00:10:18,235 --> 00:10:20,235
All right, you know what?
Let me handle this.
201
00:10:20,157 --> 00:10:22,577
Fine, but you've got
to go easy on him.
202
00:10:22,483 --> 00:10:24,549
I will. I will.
203
00:10:25,278 --> 00:10:27,771
Hey! You.
Turn around.
204
00:10:28,143 --> 00:10:31,999
Look. I told you, therapy
is a waste of time.
205
00:10:31,846 --> 00:10:34,146
Okay? We just got to
get you a girl.
206
00:10:34,055 --> 00:10:36,490
What's the point?
No one will ever love me!
207
00:10:36,395 --> 00:10:39,229
Awesome.
Get in and get out.
208
00:10:39,117 --> 00:10:40,412
You know what?
209
00:10:40,361 --> 00:10:43,567
I want you to come to my next
Overeaters United meeting.
210
00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:46,841
Okay? It's a smorgasbord
of desperate women
211
00:10:46,706 --> 00:10:50,241
with low self-esteem
and poor impulse control.
212
00:10:50,101 --> 00:10:51,434
And...
213
00:10:51,383 --> 00:10:53,849
They're not all fat.
214
00:10:53,752 --> 00:10:56,787
You know,
I believe that's their slogan.
215
00:10:56,667 --> 00:10:59,211
Now, un-tuck your man-parts
216
00:10:59,109 --> 00:11:02,036
and quit crying like you were
just stood up for prom.
217
00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:04,855
I was stood up for prom!
218
00:11:04,739 --> 00:11:07,906
Ryan is very
delicate right now.
219
00:11:07,781 --> 00:11:11,917
Okay. Whatever, man. You know what?
I got my own fish to fry.
220
00:11:12,757 --> 00:11:17,105
I gotta fry up this fish before I go
on my date tonight with Stacey.
221
00:11:16,931 --> 00:11:18,830
I thought you guys
were going for dinner?
222
00:11:18,755 --> 00:11:22,390
Yeah, we are. Some restaurant
that specializes in juice.
223
00:11:22,245 --> 00:11:24,545
The Nectary?
224
00:11:24,659 --> 00:11:27,260
Yeah. Well, of course,
she would know.
225
00:11:27,883 --> 00:11:29,450
You know,
I gotta tell you,
226
00:11:29,388 --> 00:11:34,124
it's a good thing this Stacey girl
is hot, because I am starving.
227
00:11:34,395 --> 00:11:36,989
You know what
her favourite bread is? Huh?
228
00:11:36,886 --> 00:11:39,286
Kale! Actual kale.
229
00:11:39,191 --> 00:11:41,867
She wraps stuff in it
like it's a sandwich.
230
00:11:42,095 --> 00:11:44,092
Oh, but the sex!
231
00:11:44,013 --> 00:11:46,614
Holy former-cow.
232
00:11:49,541 --> 00:11:53,043
You know what? I think
she's substituting sex for food,
233
00:11:52,904 --> 00:11:54,470
the way she tears at my pants
234
00:11:54,409 --> 00:11:59,045
like a grizzly going after a trout
in a frosty mountain stream.
235
00:11:58,861 --> 00:12:01,294
That doesn't sound healthy.
236
00:12:01,198 --> 00:12:03,732
Oh, hey, it's the best workout
I've ever had in my life.
237
00:12:03,632 --> 00:12:06,366
And the bonus is,
she's really cool.
238
00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:07,892
Sounds like you like her.
239
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:09,628
Well, you know,
call me a romantic,
240
00:12:09,558 --> 00:12:13,159
but I think I could
stick it to her for a while.
241
00:12:13,872 --> 00:12:17,616
Oh, great, now I got fish juice
all over my clothes.
242
00:12:17,468 --> 00:12:19,234
Now she's gonna know
that I've been eating.
243
00:12:19,165 --> 00:12:23,014
- Well, just flip it inside out.
- I already wore the other side.
244
00:12:24,033 --> 00:12:27,201
I usually carry a stain-remover
pen around with me,
245
00:12:27,076 --> 00:12:29,377
but it just seemed
so optimistic.
246
00:12:30,629 --> 00:12:32,166
Wait a minute,
you know what?
247
00:12:32,105 --> 00:12:36,174
I'll just tell her it's blood, that
I cut myself shaving my stomach.
248
00:12:36,012 --> 00:12:38,445
Well, the problem
with that, Sheldon,
249
00:12:38,349 --> 00:12:40,667
is that you're going to actually
have to shave your stomach
250
00:12:40,575 --> 00:12:42,224
so she won't know you're lying.
251
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:44,361
Oh, I already shaved
my stomach.
252
00:12:44,274 --> 00:12:46,040
And in case you're wondering,
253
00:12:45,971 --> 00:12:48,971
yes, I also gave myself
a "bro-zilian."
254
00:12:54,259 --> 00:12:57,360
Excuse me, young man.
This is not what I ordered.
255
00:12:57,236 --> 00:13:00,609
Really? Well, we don't always
get what we want in life, do we?
256
00:13:00,986 --> 00:13:04,020
I am so sorry.
257
00:13:04,545 --> 00:13:05,911
I have an idea.
258
00:13:05,859 --> 00:13:08,027
Why don't you
go sweep the floors?
259
00:13:07,941 --> 00:13:11,008
If you want, but they're just
gonna get dirty again!
260
00:13:11,884 --> 00:13:14,814
You gotta get rid of that guy.
He's stealing my job.
261
00:13:14,699 --> 00:13:18,277
- He's not stealing your job.
- It's my job to alienate the customers!
262
00:13:18,134 --> 00:13:20,800
He's doing it
way better than me.
263
00:13:22,006 --> 00:13:23,399
How's he doing?
264
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:26,880
Yeah! Life sucks,
doesn't it?
265
00:13:26,740 --> 00:13:29,085
That's actually
an improvement.
266
00:13:30,966 --> 00:13:33,902
I'm sorry,
but I have to fire him.
267
00:13:33,786 --> 00:13:35,952
It can't be that bad.
268
00:13:35,867 --> 00:13:38,168
Come back again,
I'll refund your mother.
269
00:13:38,793 --> 00:13:40,433
Point taken.
270
00:13:40,547 --> 00:13:42,151
But please, you don't
have to fire him, okay?
271
00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:44,781
I will take care of this.
I have a plan.
272
00:13:44,675 --> 00:13:47,064
- Okay. Do it fast.
- I promise.
273
00:13:47,002 --> 00:13:49,402
And, look, I think
he's getting better.
274
00:13:49,307 --> 00:13:51,207
How is this stress ball supposed
to work anyway?
275
00:13:51,133 --> 00:13:52,816
Let me show you.
276
00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:59,505
Wow, that actually works.
277
00:14:05,327 --> 00:14:07,795
Well, I don't see
a "Dr. Nickman" anywhere.
278
00:14:07,698 --> 00:14:12,366
My detective says he's in this building.
He's using an alias.
279
00:14:12,180 --> 00:14:14,873
Oh, there he is.
15th floor.
280
00:14:14,766 --> 00:14:18,802
Nice alias.
"Dr. McNickman."
281
00:14:18,642 --> 00:14:21,893
You know, this better not take too long.
I have a date with Stacey.
282
00:14:21,763 --> 00:14:24,855
Don't you feel bad for sleeping
with her under false pretenses?
283
00:14:24,732 --> 00:14:27,596
Well, I don't know, I'd have to
have something to compare it to.
284
00:14:27,801 --> 00:14:29,001
Wait a minute.
285
00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:32,237
Now that you mention it, I have
been feeling a little weird lately.
286
00:14:32,122 --> 00:14:34,289
Maybe you're developing
a conscience.
287
00:14:34,204 --> 00:14:37,406
Or maybe it's just gas.
288
00:14:37,279 --> 00:14:39,012
You know, after all that
roughage we've been eating,
289
00:14:38,945 --> 00:14:42,780
I feel like I've been
in mid-fart for two whole days.
290
00:14:43,844 --> 00:14:45,210
Dr. Nickman.
291
00:14:45,157 --> 00:14:46,524
- No, no, no!
- No, no. No.
292
00:14:46,471 --> 00:14:49,164
- I'm Danny and...
- Yeah. I know who you are.
293
00:14:49,059 --> 00:14:51,300
You're the lawyer with
the domineering girlfriend
294
00:14:51,211 --> 00:14:54,969
and you're the casket-salesman
who shaves his stomach.
295
00:14:54,819 --> 00:14:58,454
- Wait a minute! He talks about us?
- What doesn't he talk about?
296
00:14:58,309 --> 00:15:01,512
- Hey! Whoa. Not so fast there, doc.
- Don't hit me! Please!
297
00:15:01,385 --> 00:15:04,936
- Why would I hit you?
- Well, you hit Ryan all the time.
298
00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:06,495
Is that
what he told you?
299
00:15:06,445 --> 00:15:09,546
You know what? Remind me
to hit Ryan when I see him.
300
00:15:09,424 --> 00:15:12,491
Dr. Nickman,
our brother is devastated.
301
00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:16,772
Yeah. I feel really badly about that,
I do, but he wasn't supposed to find out.
302
00:15:16,597 --> 00:15:19,645
But he did, and now he's a mess,
and it's all your fault.
303
00:15:19,523 --> 00:15:22,958
- You have to take him back.
- No! Sorry, no.
304
00:15:22,821 --> 00:15:26,323
My own therapist told me
this relationship was killing me.
305
00:15:26,185 --> 00:15:28,619
Look, I can't help Ryan.
306
00:15:28,523 --> 00:15:29,822
I have tried.
307
00:15:29,772 --> 00:15:32,773
Two hours a day,
six days a week.
308
00:15:32,654 --> 00:15:37,395
He-he bought me a second phone!
Just for the two of us.
309
00:15:37,206 --> 00:15:41,472
- Wow. Alison really messed him up.
- It's not Alison!
310
00:15:41,301 --> 00:15:43,723
- It's you guys!
- What? He said that?
311
00:15:43,627 --> 00:15:45,369
No, I'm saying that.
312
00:15:45,495 --> 00:15:48,496
You coddle him,
and-and you bully him.
313
00:15:48,376 --> 00:15:50,442
Oh, I can't see that.
314
00:15:50,588 --> 00:15:51,821
Really?
315
00:15:51,772 --> 00:15:54,181
You gave him a wedgie
for his birthday.
316
00:15:54,086 --> 00:15:55,869
That was for Christmas.
317
00:15:56,097 --> 00:15:58,630
Actually, Danny,
you're the worst.
318
00:15:58,531 --> 00:16:00,131
What? Me?
319
00:16:00,068 --> 00:16:03,636
Ever since Alison left,
all you do is coddle him.
320
00:16:03,495 --> 00:16:07,403
Your inability to tell the truth
just enables his neuroses.
321
00:16:07,247 --> 00:16:09,548
You're the reason
he can't move on.
322
00:16:10,597 --> 00:16:12,378
I tried to tell him.
323
00:16:13,775 --> 00:16:15,308
I had no idea.
324
00:16:15,248 --> 00:16:18,751
All I was trying to do was save him
from any more pain in his life,
325
00:16:18,612 --> 00:16:20,945
and all I did was
emotionally cripple him.
326
00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:24,431
I can't even look
at you right now.
327
00:16:24,311 --> 00:16:28,429
Dr. Nickman, thank you.
I know what I have to do now.
328
00:16:28,265 --> 00:16:30,874
- Yes. Leave.
- Right.
329
00:16:35,932 --> 00:16:37,465
Finally.
330
00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:44,837
- Please tell me you fixed this.
- I'm about to.
331
00:16:44,713 --> 00:16:47,079
I'm going to show him
how much I love him.
332
00:16:46,986 --> 00:16:49,800
- I'm going to fire him.
- Thank God.
333
00:16:49,688 --> 00:16:51,776
He is the worst employee
I've ever seen.
334
00:16:51,694 --> 00:16:54,896
I need a drink!
Oh! Good.
335
00:16:55,661 --> 00:16:57,165
All right, here I go.
336
00:16:58,420 --> 00:17:01,854
You guys look
so-o-o happy together.
337
00:17:01,718 --> 00:17:05,146
Of course, statistically speaking,
one of you is already cheating.
338
00:17:05,010 --> 00:17:07,044
It's you, isn't it?
It's always the woman.
339
00:17:06,963 --> 00:17:08,163
Ryan!
340
00:17:09,766 --> 00:17:13,359
This isn't gonna be easy for me to say,
okay, but you have got to listen.
341
00:17:13,216 --> 00:17:16,883
- And, remember, it's for your own good.
- Okay.
342
00:17:16,737 --> 00:17:18,103
It's about
your working here.
343
00:17:20,227 --> 00:17:23,385
- What are you doing?
- It's a technique called "self-soothing."
344
00:17:23,259 --> 00:17:25,839
Oh, that's good. No, no.
Self-soothing is good.
345
00:17:25,737 --> 00:17:27,240
But...
346
00:17:27,330 --> 00:17:29,825
I need to be frank
with you. Okay?
347
00:17:29,726 --> 00:17:32,266
I know you've enjoyed your time
at the tea shop, but...
348
00:17:32,165 --> 00:17:34,100
Oh. This job...
349
00:17:34,023 --> 00:17:36,118
Has been
really good for me.
350
00:17:36,192 --> 00:17:37,851
And that-that-that's good.
351
00:17:37,786 --> 00:17:40,611
I'm-I'm glad you've had such a great
experience here, but the point...
352
00:17:40,498 --> 00:17:44,951
Honestly, I don't even know if I'd still
be alive today without it. Thanks.
353
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:49,720
You're an amazing person!
You're a gift!
354
00:17:49,596 --> 00:17:52,763
No. No, no, no.
I have to say this.
355
00:17:53,822 --> 00:17:55,623
Okay. The point is,
356
00:17:55,553 --> 00:18:00,276
not everybody can be good
at everything.
357
00:18:00,995 --> 00:18:03,238
Except you!
358
00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:08,062
If it were legal to marry your brother
in any part of this country,
359
00:18:07,946 --> 00:18:10,246
I would seriously
consider it.
360
00:18:10,989 --> 00:18:13,256
What I'm trying
to get at,
361
00:18:13,166 --> 00:18:16,734
and I think everyone here
does feel the same way...
362
00:18:17,175 --> 00:18:19,349
Just keep doin'
what you're doing.
363
00:18:22,229 --> 00:18:24,431
You're right!
364
00:18:25,784 --> 00:18:27,851
Kim, I want a raise.
365
00:18:28,385 --> 00:18:29,844
Oh, for Pete's sake!
366
00:18:29,787 --> 00:18:34,753
You're fired! You pathetic excuse
for a man!
367
00:18:34,555 --> 00:18:38,828
You are the most annoying,
whiney, stuck-up,
368
00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:42,526
self-involved pain-in-the-ass
I've ever met in my life!
369
00:18:43,206 --> 00:18:46,478
You sicken me.
370
00:18:53,102 --> 00:18:55,070
That was the most...
371
00:18:56,147 --> 00:18:58,504
...Amazing experience
of my life!
372
00:18:59,061 --> 00:19:01,760
I mean, no one has ever been
that honest with me before!
373
00:19:01,654 --> 00:19:06,995
I mean, finally, someone respected me
enough to tell me the truth.
374
00:19:07,065 --> 00:19:09,433
Hey, I was going to
tell you the truth.
375
00:19:09,630 --> 00:19:11,228
Eventually.
376
00:19:11,701 --> 00:19:13,143
What did you think?
377
00:19:13,087 --> 00:19:14,386
I was just gonna crumble
378
00:19:14,336 --> 00:19:18,705
because I got fired from a crappy job
I'm not even getting paid for?
379
00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:20,966
You have to stop
coddling me, Danny!
380
00:19:20,870 --> 00:19:23,336
You know, I've talked
to Dr. Nickman about this.
381
00:19:23,239 --> 00:19:26,641
I know. I'm sorry
I underestimated you.
382
00:19:26,506 --> 00:19:28,505
I won't do it again.
383
00:19:28,427 --> 00:19:31,462
From now on, I'm gonna
treat you like a grown-up.
384
00:19:31,342 --> 00:19:35,177
- Now, let's get you some ice cream!
- You're coddling me again!
385
00:19:35,025 --> 00:19:37,514
What about a snow-cone?
386
00:19:38,835 --> 00:19:40,703
You know...
387
00:19:40,630 --> 00:19:42,700
I think I'm ready
to move on.
388
00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:45,214
I'm going to get
a new therapist.
389
00:19:45,113 --> 00:19:48,571
I got a lead on a guy
named "Dr. McNickman."
390
00:19:49,484 --> 00:19:52,052
I seriously think
you should keep looking.
391
00:19:54,479 --> 00:19:57,039
Oh, hey, there,
sugar-substitute bear.
392
00:19:57,436 --> 00:19:59,951
Sheldon...
We have to talk.
393
00:19:59,852 --> 00:20:02,752
My sponsor doesn't
want us dating anymore.
394
00:20:02,637 --> 00:20:03,688
Wait. What?
395
00:20:03,646 --> 00:20:06,323
And, as hard as it is to find
an amazing guy like you,
396
00:20:06,217 --> 00:20:09,201
it is, like, way harder
to find a good sponsor.
397
00:20:09,082 --> 00:20:11,323
Whoa! Wait a minute.
You're breaking up with me?
398
00:20:11,234 --> 00:20:14,235
I thought I was your
frosty-mountain trout.
399
00:20:14,272 --> 00:20:17,607
I'm sorry, Sheldon, but I can't date
anyone in the program.
400
00:20:17,475 --> 00:20:19,533
I can't believe
you're saying this to me.
401
00:20:19,451 --> 00:20:23,096
Look, I've been waiting to tell you,
I'm not even in this stupid program.
402
00:20:22,952 --> 00:20:25,946
I was just sticking around
so we could date. Huh?
403
00:20:25,827 --> 00:20:27,662
Isn't that great?
404
00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:29,800
Sheldon...
405
00:20:29,741 --> 00:20:32,040
I have seen
the way you eat.
406
00:20:32,271 --> 00:20:34,806
God sent you here
for a reason.
407
00:20:42,024 --> 00:20:46,490
- I take it you heard Ted died.
- "Big Ted"?
408
00:20:46,540 --> 00:20:51,090
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