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I meant to get a haircut.

I got a present for ya, Casey.

Casey, sweetie,

you take your daddy's
present now.

I got a picture of you, too.

Maria!

No! No, no! No!

Happy birthday, darlin'.

Thank you.

Obviously, you've seen

Mankiewicz's House of Strangers.

It's one of my
all-time favorite movies.

That's exactly
what your script reminded me of.

The power struggle,

- the fight for relevance.
- Yeah.

And you're gonna think
this sounds a little crazy,

but in some ways,
it's King Lear.

It's King Lear.
Yeah, exactly.

See, I knew you'd understand

what I'm trying to do
with this film.

Right.

David, I don't know
what to say exactly,

except this is the role
of a lifetime

and I'd really love
to be a part of this.

Cool, man. I'll just give you
a shout in a couple of days.

If you're worried
about the Boston accent,

I can do the Boston accent.

I've been working on it
all week.

I'm not worried, Nick.

Okay, well, if you have
any other questions

or you just wanna talk,
give me a call.

Or if you'd like me to,
to read...

You don't need to read for me.

Of course not.

And obviously, I'm not going to.

Obviously.

Bull bet a part of you would
love to hear me read, right?

I mean, why wouldn't you?

If I were you,
I'd want to hear it.

Seriously,
I don't want you to read.

Okay.

Anyway, this is me,
so I'm gonna...

Well, you know what?
I'm gonna read.

"Ifs a foregone conclusion,
Jimmy.

"It takes 13 milliseconds
for the human brain

"to send a message to the body.

"So, by the time your bullets
hit me, my cerebral cortex

"will have transmitted a signal

"to the 17 healthy muscles

"that operate my trigger finger.

“And before your asshole
has had a chance to pucker up,

"your medulla oblongata

"will be splattered
on a fucking wall behind ya.

"And if that's the last thing I accomplish

"on this beautiful green Earth,

"well, then, I say,
what a way to fucking go."

Holy shit.

I can do another if you want.

Damn, man!

That was good, right?
Felt good.

Mankiewicz?
Incredible pull.

I know.
It just popped into my head.

Well, good. I'm happy for you.

Because, honestly, man,
you really need this.

What? What is that
supposed to mean?

You get it.
This could be a game changer.

I don't need a game changer.
If it happens, it happens.

If it doesn't, I'll just keep
working. That's what I do.

I'm just saying, you could be
a little more strategic.

Make more movie star choices.

It's like Miles Davis told me...

"Sometimes, it's the notes
you don't play."

Miles Davis was a heroin addict.

I mean, I love him,
he was a maestro,

but I'm happy»

I'm healthy when I'm working.
I'm an actor.

No, you're a fucking movie star!

And don't you ever forget that!

Okay, I don't need this.
I don't need this.

Get out of my car.
Nicky, get out of my car.

I don't need this.

I need this.

This could be a game changer.

So, you're not happy
with how your career is going

because you seem to be
working all the time.

Well, I never viewed it
as a career, only as work.

And what's wrong with that?

I mean, in any other job,
hard work is something to behold,

but with film performance,

"You're making
too many movies, Nick."

"You're working too hard, Nick."

"Have the audience
miss you more, Nick."

I mean, hello, it's my job.

I pay my bills.

I feed my family.
You're annoying.

My Slush!

Yeah.

So, what's the worry here, Nick?

You've lost some of your ability,
your talent as an actor?

No.

No, it's just that
I really want this.

This is the role of a lifetime.

It's a great part.

Well, how do you think
your relationship with your work

affects your relationship
with your daughter?

Let's bring Addy into this,
shall we?

What?
Oh, you don't have to do that.

You guys can keep talking.

Well, I'll just finish with,

a role like this
doesn't come along every day.

And now, I'm gonna zip it.

- I zipped it good.
- Addy.

How do you think
your dad's anxiety

over his career
has affected you?

Well, his career is pretty much
the only thing we talk about.

That or he makes me watch
old movies,

and then discuss them.

Which is really just him
lecturing me for two hours.

Ifs a conversation.
It's more of a conversation.

He made me watch
this bizarre old movie.

What was it called?
The Island of Dr. Calamari?

- The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari.
- And did you like it, Addy'?

It's one of my favorite films.
Have you seen it?

No, I have not.

It's about this insane old doctor

who has a sleepwalker
completely under his spell.

This crazy old loon.

Can you imagine
how horrifying that would be?

To be completely
under someone's spell?

And you liked it, right?

I mean, you like the painted
sets, and the makeup...

No, I did not.

Sounds to me like

maybe she didn't want to see
the movie.

Did you think about that, Nick?
About what she wants?

Cheryl, come on.
Is that a real question?

What do you think
he's gonna say?

She has an amazing visual
sensibility. Always has.

We're very close,
and within that closeness,

I was able to ascertain...

- Hey, honey.
- Hi, Mom.

Bye, Addy. I love you.

Oh, no, what happened?

Oh, she's mad at me
because we watched

Cabinet of Dr. Caligari
together and she hated it,

which I find odd,
given how mature her taste normally is.

Wait, you're surprised
your teenage daughter

didn't wanna watch an insane
100-year-old German film with you?

- Yes.
- Oh, my God. Okay.

Well, it's not just that.

You know, she's never read
Mary Shelley,

or Jane Austen, or even Twain.

What a little philistine.
Should we disown her?

She thought Humphrey Bogart
was a porn star.

Yeah...

- What, really?
- Yeah.

That's disappointing.

Unless there is a pom star
called Humphrey Bogart.

That would work, wouldn't it?
Humphrey. Hump.

No?

Look, you're just...

You're at a tricky stage
right now with her, okay?

And if you don't learn
to connect,

ifs gonna stay broken for...

What the fuck
are you smiling at?

- Why are you smiling?
- I'm not.

- You are.
- Okay.

Olivia, I'm up
for a very exciting movie.

And I think it's gonna happen.

Oh, my God.
Look, will you do me a favor?

Yes.

Turn up for her birthday party.

- Of course.
- Of course.

Gosh!

Hey, Fink, let's meet up.
I have some questions.

I don't know.
I just really want this.

I mean, this is the role of
a lifetime, and as my agent...

Nick, I've got
a good feeling, okay?

- Okay.
- Now, come on.

I know how tense you get.

This is going to help you relax.

Fuck!

Oh, my!
Fuck, I love this so much.

Is this supposed to hurt
this much? Fuck!

It is. The more pain, the better.

Fuckin'...

- Why?
- It's good for circulation.

So, Nick, we got another offer.

Just came in this morning.

Excellent. What's it about?

It's about a million bucks.

What is it?

A birthday party, Fink?

Hat are you even talking about?

You go, and I don't know,

tell some stories,
make 'em laugh.

Make 'em laugh?
Like a circus clown?

A trained seal?

Nick, I got a call from your
business manager, Kenny.

You've been living
at the Sunset Tower for over a year.

And so?
They love having me there.

You owe them $600,000.

They sent the bills to Kenny.

I'll take care of it.

Kenny says you still have
substantial debts.

And now, the divorce,
and your spending habits

- and, and, and...
- Okay, I'm gonna deal

with all that, Fink.

You know I will.

But I'm gonna get this next role

and when I do,
all of that changes.

Then, I'm back.

And, by the way,
not that I went anywhere.

Not that you went anywhere.

You never shit on yourself.

Come on!
Never shit on yourself.

Fink, hold on a second.
Let me get somewhere quiet.

Fink, you still there?
I can hear you now.

- Did you talk to him?
- I talked to David.

- Oh, you're here. Great.
- Hold on.

Right, we're doing cake.

Oh, my God, you're doing...

I have to finish this call.

Oh, my God! Jesus Christ!

Come on!

Fink, did you talk to him?

Nick, can you hear me?

Yes, I can hear you.
What did he say?

He said he loves you,

but he ultimately went
in a different direction

for the role.

Sorry, dude.

Happy birthday to you

I hate it.

Happy birthday to you

Thank you, Mom.

Happy birthday, dear Addy

Thank you.

Happy birthday to you

Thank you.

Blow. Make a wish.

- Happy birthday, Addy!
- AI| right, everybody!

Gather round the piano.
It's showtime, folks.

- What's he doing?
- What?

Nick?

Step away from the piano, Nick.

Hi, Lewis.

You're all grown up now.

What, are you...
What, are you 15?

Dad, don't talk to Lewis.

Okay.

When she was nine years old,

my daughter and I
took our first trip together.

We drove overnight,

across the desert,
to the Grand Canyon.

- You remember that, sweetheart?
- I do remember that.

And when the sun came up,

I pulled over
to the side of the road

as she rested her little head
on my shoulder

and we just watched...

Watched the sun come up.

That was the happiest moment
of my life.

And in that moment,

I composed a little tune
for her 16th birthday.

I've been working on it
ever since.

And... happy birthday,
sweetheart. Here goes.

Watching the sun come up

Watching the sun rise

Addy

Addy

Addy

The love is in our eyes

Oh, fucking Jesus!

I'm so excited to see what
you do with your life, honey.

And I'll support
whatever you choose.

Only, I wouldn't recommend
a life in the ans.

Especially, with how
real talent goes unappreciated

in this shithole town.

Sun rising Sun rising

I don't know, Olivia.

I don't know.

Do you remember
when the three of us

used to lie
on the living room floor

in the New York apartment,

and you and I would watch her
for hours on end?

Remember?

It was so much easier then.

Yeah.

Listen.

I'm gonna say something,
and I'm not sure I should.

Say it.

Okay.

I need you.

You need me?

I need you to get
your shit together, Nick.

Okay?
She's not two years old anymore.

She is a smart girl
who needs her dad.

She doesn't need...

She doesn't need this guy.

Yeah.

No, no. Come on.

- Nick.
- Fink.

The Majorca thing...

What? The birthday party?
So depressing.

I am honestly sorry
for even bringing it up.

I'll take it.

It's gonna be great.

It better be because...

when it's over, I'm done.

Like hot dogs on a grill.

I'm quitting acting.

So, you can call the trades,
and tell them I said

it was a tremendous...

honor...

to be a small part...

of one of the oldest
of human traditions,

storytelling and mythmaking.

Fuck, man, I'm sorry.

I'm driving through the hills.
One more time.

I said I'm quitting...

Back to our main news story

as catalan's
presidential candidate

Charles Delgado's daughter

was kidnapped on Monday.

The police have confirmed
that they have no information

as to her whereabouts.

They have asked anyone
with any...

What do you say
we cut the chitchat, a-hole?

You almost got me killed twice.

Okay.

I'm in position.

All right,
as soon as I have eyes

on Baldassari,
you move in and take him.

Copy that.

Wait, wait, wait.
It's not Baldassari.

What the fuck is happening
right now?

Martin, talk to me.
Who's on the plane?

I don't know
if I'm losing my goddamn mind,

but I'm pretty sure
that's the actor Nick Cage.

That motherfucker from Moonstruck?

Moonstruck? No.
From Face/Off.

Wait, wait, wait...

Why the fuck is Nick Cage
on this plane?

You know what?
We're pulling out.

I don't like this.
Get out of there.

- Martin.
- No, get out of there. Now.

Vivian, do you copy?
I said, do you copy?

You know what?

No.

What do you mean, no?

No. Vivian, what are you doing?

Thank you.

- This is our shot.
- No, get out.

Vivian, get the fuck
out of there right...

Nicolas Cage! Oh, my God!
You're so fucking awesome!

- I love you!
- Thank you.

Me and my nephew, Raymond,
just watched Croods 2.

Dude! Cracked us up.

- Can I get a selfie?
- Sure.

- Oh, shit. Oh, my God.
- No, I like that movie, too.

You did so good
in that movie, man.

- Thank you.
- My goodness.

I made that movie
with Emma Stone.

- You did?
- She's one of my favorites.

- But you were the best.
- Well, thank you.

We look good.

Well, say hi
to your nephew for me.

- Okay. Yeah.
- Raymond. Okay.

- Thank you.
- AI| right, bye.

Dropped that GPS on him.

Are you out of your mind?
He's a fucking civilian.

He's an actor.

Do you remember
what went down in Lisbon?

Ck Lisbon, man!

That was kind of loud.

But fuck Lisbon.
That wasn't my fault.

And by the way,

- have you seen Croods 2?
- No.

I'm 44 years old.

Why the fuck
would I see Croods 2?

I'm picking you up.

Yeah, Fink, can you hold on?

Excuse me, it's Los Angeles
calling. I need to take this.

- Just two minutes.
- Of course.

Can you hold one second?
I'm getting on a boat.

Thank you. Yeah.

I mean, what do we know
about this guy anyway?

Is he a Spanish Dr. No?
Is he into something strange?

Allan did some research.
Hold on.

Allan, what does this guy do?

He owns olive groves apparently.

Also, he wrote this screenplay,

and he wants Nick to star in it.

Throw that in the fucking trash.

Nick, you're fine.

It's not like he's gonna
want you to suck his dick

or fuck his wife,

or watch you watch him
fuck his wife.

- I wouldn't think so.
- Relax.

Have fun and give me a call
when it's done.

You can tell me all about it.

Nice place.

Maybe I ought to get into
the olive business.

- Mr. Cage, I...
- Yeah, excuse me. Real quick.

The guy that owns this house,
what's his name?

- Javi.
- Yeah, Javi.

Is Javi going to want me to,
you know...

- I'm not sure I understand.
- Look, if Javi

wants me to suck his dick,
or fuck his wife,

or watch me watch him
fuck his wife,

that's a no-go.
You understand? It's no bueno.

- I think so.
- Okay, and if Javi...

I am Javi.

Nick Cage.

So, how was it?

It was fine, normal.
No big deal.

- Come on. Tell me the truth.
- Okay.

- He was incredible.
- Was he?

But also, like, super cool.

He was a little taller
than I had imagined

because you know they say
actors are pretty short.

So, was he short?

- No.
- No.

He was...

just right.

Okay, but did he say anything
about your screenplay?

No. He didn't bring it up,
I didn't bring it up.

It wasn't the right time.

Just think about
how would it feel

to say in front of everyone
at the party

that Nicolas Cage is starring
in a movie that you wrote.

I don't know, Gabriela,
maybe I am living in a fantasy world.

I mean, look who
we're talking about here.

The man is a legend!

Hi.

HEY-

Cheers.

What?

Oh, no, I'm sorry,
I thought that...

Did you say...
No, I did...

Oh, never mind.

Yeah, so along those
same lines, I was wondering...

and it's totally okay
if you haven't,

but I was just wondering

if you had a chance
to read my screenplay?

Javi!

Can I come or it's only for VIP?

Mr. Cage, this is

- Ms. Gabriela Lucchesi.
- Hi.

She runs
all of our agricultural operations.

And this is my cousin.
Lucas Gutierrez.

Mr. Cage, we obviously are
very excited to have you here.

What are you working on next?

Well, that's a tough question

for an actor to gel,
but it's fine.

'Cause I'm no longer an actor.

I've retired.

What?
What do you mean, retired?

So, what are you going
to do now?

Live the life of a house cal.

Because it's just a matter
of time

before the great power plant
upstairs turns off the juice

and we retreat
to the black pit of nothingness

from whence we came.

So, tell us
about making The Rock.

Bet you wish you were still
making movies

like that, huh, Mr. Cage?

Must have been nice
to have been a star.

And now...

Mr. Cage? Wake up.

Jesus Christ!

So, Mr. Gutierrez has been

waiting all day for you
to get up.

He really wants to show you

one of his favorite places
of all Spain.

It's called the cliffs
of Cap de For mentor.

Yeah, see, well,
I'm very jet lagged,

so I won't be attending that, okay?

Thank you.

- Oh, my God!
- Mr. Cage.

If Mr. Gutierrez is asking you

to go with him
and see the cliffs,

you're gonna go with him
and see the cliffs.

And you're gonna love the cliffs.

Even if you hate the cliffs!

Are we clear?

Gabriela said you are really
excited about the cliffs.

Yeah, very much so.
It's just...

I'm not feeling tip-top
right now,

so if you wanna
go out there alone, I could

- go back to the room...
- Shit!

- Shit!!
- What?

We must go now.

Hey!

Javi!

Javi!

What is going on?

Faster!

What are we running from?

The General!

Javi!

Hey!

You need to tell me right now
what the hell is going on,

or I'm getting my shit,
and I'm going back to Los Angeles.

The General!

The General forbade me
to see his daughter Matilda.

But we defied his orders!

And now,
he wants to end my life.

Can't you see him?

All right, I gel it.

You're making this up?

What is this?

Like a little Stanislavski
improv thing?

Well, you can stop.

Stanislavski?
Is he part of the resistance?

Slop! I am your guest!

Gabriela ripped the bedspread
off me this morning.

Now you're sending me
on, like, a wild goose chase!

I'm sorry, but you can't
quit acting! You can't!

That's none of your business.

Whether you like it or not,
you have a gift.

And that gift brings light
and joy to an increasingly...

dark and broken world!

And to turn your back
on that gift...

is to turn your back
on the entire human race.

The human race?

I'm afraid so.

What am I gonna do?

If we don't go now,
they will fucking kill us!

These people smell blood

- and they come running.
- What am I gonna do?

They're almost to the edge
of the forest.

I can hear them.

And Matilda,
she is waiting down the coast.

We have to go now!
We have to jump!

You're in an untenable situation.

You know that, right?

So tell me one thing.

Do you love her?

I've always loved her.

Then let's get you
out of here alive.

Shit!

Fuck!

Oh, God!

I didn't know there was a cliff!

I didn't know it was that high!

We could have died!

You're a wild man.

I prefer bourbon, but thank you.

God, this place is stunning.

I bet my daughter

would like it out here.
It'd be good for her.

Are you two close?

Well, it's impossible to be
close with a 16-year-old.

But I've tried to be there
for her. It's just...

There's no script for parenting.

Thank God for my ex, Olivia.

How did you meet Olivia?

She was a make-up artist
on Captain Corelli's Mandolin.

- Beautiful film.
- Thank you.

Underrated for sure.

We just hit it off, you know.

She was funny, smart, beautiful.

So, what happened?

What happened?

What about you?
Ever been married? Kids?

No.

There is one woman, but...

sometimes, circumstances
get in the way of love...

and that's just the way it is.

Anyway, Mr. Cage,

what is your favorite movie?

Favorite movie?

I mean, that... That is...

That's one of those questions
that's impossible to answer.

Because, you see,
100-plus years of rich cinema.

You can't just limit it to one.

It depends upon your mood,
the seasons.

All right, let's do top three.
You start.

Number one, Face/Off.

Thank you.

Woo is a maestro. Thank you.

Number two, let me think...

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari.

You love Caligari?
I love Caligari.

I was beginning to think
I was the only one.

You gonna run
the table here, Jav?

It's hard. It's like you said,
100-plus years of rich cinema.

Thank you.

Look, can you just stop stalling

and answer the question?

What is your third favorite
movie of all time?

Paddington 2.

What?

Cabinet of Dr. Caligari,
Paddington 2.

Connect those dots.

I mean, I don't wanna be
a snob, but...

I cried through
the entire thing.

It made me want
to be a better man.

Bullshit, man!

Paddington 2 is incredible.

I fucking told you.

Truth or dare, Nick?

Truth.

Did you hate my screenplay?
It's okay if you did.

I just need to know.

You wrote a script?

I sent it to your agent.

He was supposed
to give it to you.

Well, he didn't.

I guess I can understand
why he didn't,

but where is it?
I'll read it right now.

- Now? Like, right now?
- Right now.

Send it.

- I sent it.
- Fantastic.

Let's go into town,
have a celebratory drink.

You can watch me read it.

See where it drags.
It'll be fun.

No.

Honestly, I'm too nervous.

My heart is beating so fast.

I think I need to go to bed.

Listen, Javi, truth.

I wasn't that thrilled
about coming out here,

but tonight... has been
the most fun

I've had in a long, long time.

So, thank you.

Hey, Nicky.

So, you're unretired then?

That's the idea.

Javi inspired you, did he?
You like this guy?

He has good taste in movies.

Plus, it could be good
for me to do

some smaller roles
with great directors.

Some challenging character work.

So, like, um...
Like what?

The gay uncle

in the next Duplass Brothers
movie kind of thing?

Exactly.

What the fuck
are you talking about?

We haven't worked
since you were 15...

forty-one years
to be number seven

on a call sheet of a goddamn
student film.

I think it's a good idea.

You listen to me.

You're Nick fucking...

Cage!

Addy doesn't need a struggling artist
for a father.

She needs you to be a star.

Now you get the next one,
baby, and we're back.

Not that we went anywhere.

Not that we went anywhere.

Come here.

Yeah, Nick Cage smooches good.

You tell 'em!
Nick Cage smooches good!

I'll have another one.

Jesus!

What do you guys want?
You want money?

Here, take my watch.
It's not a copy, it's real.

Mr. Cage, we're with
the U.S. Government. We need your help.

The man you're staying with
is the head

of a violent
international arms cartel.

Wait, wait, wait... Javi?

He's a ruthless motherfucker.

He stalled small, coastal Spain.

But then, he got greedy.

Trying to expand
his operations east, west.

Trail of dead bodies
in his wake.

Javi Gutierrez?

- Yes, Javi.
- I don't think we're talking

about the same Javi.

We're definitely talking about
the same fucking Javi.

It's the same fucking guy, man.

Okay. So, you're CIA,

some kind of intelligence, right?

And your job
is to read people, yeah?

Well, as a thespian,
that is also my job.

To understand
people's characters,

to feel what they're feeling.

Which is how I know
that Javi is not a gun dealer.

You're saying
your acting ability

trumps five years of hard data

collected by the world's
finest intelligence agency?

My nouveau shamanic
acting ability?

You better fucking believe it.

Hey, guys, this sucks.

Nicolas Cage's nouveau
shamanic acting ability

has determined
that we got the wrong guy.

So, let's pack up our shit
and fucking go home.

Hey, man, don't mind him.

He's all messed up inside.

He just found out his wife's
been fucking his dad.

That's not all the way true.

Look,
do you recognize this girl?

No.

It's Maria Delgado.

President of Catalonia's daughter.

Javi's men kidnapped her
two days ago

to force her father
out of the election

and make way for someone
more cartel-friendly.

Yeah, the U.S.
doesn't like that.

Yeah, look, hey.

We need to access
Javi's security cameras.

We can't get anywhere
near that compound

because it's too fortified.

And then, you show up.

So, you want me to, what?

Spy on Javi?

Bingo.

Yeah, I'm not doing that.

You have a daughter
about her age, right?

This came in yesterday.

How do you think
you would feel, huh?

Knowing you could have helped?

But you chose not to.

Be a lot of guilt to carry,
wouldn't it?

Because every time
you look at your daughter,

believe me,

you are gonna see
that little girl

buried in a ditch somewhere.

And that will haunt you

for the rest of your life.

A/I right, here we go, Nick.

We're going to create
a power blip big enough

to reboot
all the security cameras.

Once that happens,

you got exactly four minutes
and ten seconds...

to get in and get out
before they come back online.

Don't forget.
Set the cameras,

and then
grab them when you leave.

Shit, we got a guy coming.

Nick, guard on the way.

All right, Nick, stay calm.

Just like we talked about.

Take the incapacitating agent
out of the pouch.

Put it in your hand.

Remove the outer layer.

The inner layer
has the chemical on it.

Now, if you touch that
to someone's skin,

they'll be out in seconds.

Now, find a place to hide.

There's nowhere to hide in here.

Hold on.

I think I can hide under the...

I touched my forehead.

You touched your forehead?

I think so.
I'm not 100% sure.

Did you or didn't you?

You know what?
I don't think I did.

I did. I did.

Nick, listen to me right now.

You have 30 seconds until
you're drooling on the floor.

Go back into the pouch
and get the antidote ASAP.

It's locked.

Where's the key
that we gave you?

Inside with the antidote.

- Fuck this shit!
- Okay. Oh, shit. Okay.

Okay, Nick,
there's a window to your left.

Go out that window, get outside,

go across the ledge, okay?

Scoot across the ledge,

and then climb into
the security room window.

What the fuck is wrong with
you? He's three stories up.

He's stoned out of his mind.

Ho/a.

Do it now, Nick! Now!
He's getting closer.

He's fucking dead. He's dead.

Martin, I can hear you.

Come on, Nick.
You can do this, okay?

Keep moving.

Hola?

I can't feel my legs.

You know, I really enjoyed
working for the CIA.

Can't wait to move back home
and work at fucking Sonic.

Shit!

Like rubber.

Come on, Nick, you got this.
Keep moving, okay?

Hold on.
We got a guard in the room.

Wake up, Nick.

Okay, go, go, go, Nick.

I love you.

Stay with me.
Stay awake.

Keep moving.
You can do this.

Pull your legs in now.

Pull your legs in.

I can't move.

Then you're gonna die.
Do you wanna die tonight?

This is not how you die.

I think it is.

Come on.

Come on, you did it.
You're in there.

Do it! Stay awake!

Come on!
Come on, Nick!

- Come on.
- Come on.

- Come on.
- You got it.

You got it.

You got it.

- For fuck's sake, man!
- Wake up!

- Wake up.
- Wake up.

Get up, Nick. Get up.

Get up.

Come on, Nick.

Come on! Get up!

Get up, Nick.

Action!

Oh, my God!

Yes!

- How is he up?
- Trained actor.

All right, man, we in.

You know, it didn't feel great
betraying Javi like that.

Especially, since I'm still
not convinced he's your guy.

But the strange thing is...

I can see myself
doing more of this stuff.

You know, spy craft.

Subterfuge. What have you.

I think I might have
a real gift for it.

Good, 'cause we got
another mission for you.

No, no, no! Fuck that!

It was terrifying.

I'm about to leave for the
airport after the party, so...

Nick, our intel suggests that
Javi is holding Maria Delgado

on the compound right now.

- On the compound?
- Yeah.

We need you to help us find her.

Which means we need you

to figure out a way
to stay a little longer.

Vivian, I can't do this.

Yes, you can.
We just saw you do it.

That little girl, Nick?

She doesn't have anybody else.

Just you.

And if you leave,

I don't know
what's gonna happen to her.

I just want to thank you all
for coming tonight.

It means more to me
than you can know.

And I would like
to tell a story.

A few years ago,

my relationship with my father

had deteriorated to the point

where we were
no longer speaking.

He could be extremely difficult,

my father.

And to be fair,
maybe I am not much better.

But when he got sick,

I realized

I didn't want to lose him

before we could repair
our broken relationship.

But I didn't know how.

And then, one day,

about a week before he died,
it happened.

A miracle.

I looked up...

and I saw on a tiny
little hospital TV...

Guarding Tess.

We disagreed about literally
everything, my father and I.

Except for this movie.

We both loved it.

We would quote it
back and forth.

In a way, my father was Tess.

The former First Lady.

And I was Doug Chesnic.

The Secret Service agent
charged with taking care of him.

That movie brought us together.

So, on behalf of
my late father and myself,

I want to thank you.

I bet you didn't know
Doug Chesnic could have

such an impact on someone.

Well, Doug was a complicated guy.

He had...

competing allegiances

and sometimes,

being in the skin
of a character like that...

can take its toll.

Well, thank you
for your sacrifice.

It was extraordinary.

Thank you for having me.

And I'm...

I'm...

excited to announce that

Javi has finally allowed me
to read his screenplay

which is fantastic.

It's truly a masterclass.

It's easily one of the best
things I've read in years.

So, does that mean
that you want to be in it?

I don't.

But what I would like is to...

spend a little more time here

on the compound, with you.

Coming up with our own...

movie.

What do you say?

I say yes.

Yes.

I fired Earl.

- This has happened twice now.
- No.

He is a driver
in the employ of the Secret Service.

I can't do anything
about the cook or the nurse.

No, they work for you.

But this guy works for us
and he's gone!

Nick.

The security cameras gave us
a probable location for Maria.

I'm sending it to you now.

Find a way
to get into that room, Nick.

Mr. Cage.

- Hey, Javi.
- Nick.

I realized...

that if we are going to create
a work of art,

we can't just sit and stare
at a screen.

We have to open our minds

to the infinite possibilities

of what the cosmos has to offer.

What have you got there?

Divine inspiration.

LSD.

Fuck it!

So, I was thinking
that maybe our movie

would be character-driven.

Yeah.

Something that doesn't rely
on corny special effects.

Right. Or like big explosions.

It has to be nuanced.

And work on multiple levels.

It should be completely
about performance.

And maybe it's just
the drugs talking,

but what if we had
like a big drug scene?

It's gonna be so fucking good.

But, like,

what's it about?

In terms of genre,
I like comedies.

But not when it's just two people
sitting around talking.

Man, I can't stand talkie comedies.

You gotta have some plot
to drive it forward.

It's my daughter.

Nick, listen.

You know what I was thinking?

Maybe we could have, like,
a paranoid thriller-y angle.

Paranoid angle.
Excellent.

Like, see those two guys
over there?

They've been watching us.

Right.

Wait, have they been
watching us?

I don't know. Have they?

Fuck!

Did you see that?
They just looked over at us.

Shit!

Shit! What's going on?

No, no, no. Maybe it was
just a coincidence.

I will look again.
Are you ready?

No! Don't make eye contact.

That's how you spook them.

No, that's how you spook a bear.

That's right.
That is how you spook a bear.

I apologize.

But if you are gonna look,
maybe do like a fake laugh.

- A fake laugh? Okay, good.
- Yeah.

Oh, no.

Okay. Let's...

Let's just get up slowly

on the count of three

and run.

Okay?

One...

Fuck!

Go, go, go!

Faster!

Do you see them?

Shit!

It's too high.

Here.

Use me as a human stool.

Do it!

Grab my hand.

Grab it.

You're heavier than you look.

I have a very big head.

Enormous. An enormous head.

I'm not gonna make it, am I?

Will you tell Gabriela
I will miss her?

- You can tell her yourself.
- No.

It's okay.
You go live a good life.

I'm not going anywhere
without you!

Now, grab my hand, soldier!

But then, we will both die

and I could never
live with myself after that...

so you let go.

You let go!

Goodbye, Nicolas Cage.

I'll never forget you, Javs.

I'll never forget you.

Now, you get the hell
out of here.

YOU go!

Mr. Cage?

Javi?

- Buddy!
- Hey.

Where'd you come from?

Yeah...

Turns out we could have just
walked around.

- Yeah, I guess so, huh?
- Whatever.

There they are.

Oh, shit! Run!

Do you see 'em?

Fuck!

Shit!

No, no. I can't drive on acid.

You have to drive on acid.

You are a better driver than me.

How do you know that?

Because I read that you did
all of your own driving stunts

in Gone in 60 Seconds.

Well, that's true. I popped
some good wheelies, right?

The wheelies are amazing.
Now drive the car!

They're coming! Let's go!

- Shit!
- What?

Holy shit!

What? Do you see 'em?

No, Nick, I have an idea.

Maybe this movie,
maybe ifs about this.

About us.

Our relationship.

That's good.

That's good.

Is anyone in there?

Hola?

Hello?

Hello?

You want me to let you in there?

I do.

I wanna know what's inside.

Regardless of what
the consequences are?

Because once you go in there,

it could change the way
you feel about me.

Our entire relationship
could change, Nick Cage.

I need to go in, Jav.

Open the door.

Is it too much?

Trippy.

Trippy.

I know.
I am sorry if it is weird.

Well, it's a good collection.

It's very thorough.

“A really elegant string
of pearls configuration."

The Rock.

"Put the bunny
back in the box."

Con Air.

Well, that's just really creepy.

No, ifs not creepy.

Is that the chainsaw from Mandy?

Mandy is a masterpiece.

You know
those are real guns, right?

Of course they are real.

Custom Springfield Armory.

Made specifically for the film.

Is this supposed to be me?

It's...

grotesque.

Just look at the guns.

If you don't mind me asking,

how much did you pay for this

disturbing statue?

About $6,000.

L'I| give you $20,000 for it.

I'm sorry, Mr. Cage,

but this is not for sale.

Bad news.
Girl's not there.

Good news. Script's cooking.

Feels like
Cassavetes meets inarritu

with a dash of Von Trier.

- Nick, but...
- I know what you're gonna say.

Javi has his issues but, my God,

he has an unbelievably
intuitive sense for story.

He kidnapped a young girl.

And every day that passes,
the likelihood goes up

that she's gonna be murdered
by Javi or one of his men.

What do you want me to do now?

I don't know.

I'm still figuring that out.

But for now, why don't you add
a plotline to your movie

where someone gets kidnapped?

That way you can see

where he might,
theoretically, hide a hostage.

I'm working two jobs here.

Okay.

Vivian,

this is a grounded, adult drama

about two tough, sensitive men
and their unlikely friendship.

They're kind of like
dueling Christ figures.

Which is obviously a pretty
revolutionary idea in itself.

But what is not...

a revolutionary idea
is a kidnapping.

And if I bring that
into the mix,

Javi's gonna know
something's up.

He's a hardliner for tone,

and this mission
will be blown. Okay?

Jesus fucking Christ!

You know, Nick,

I think a kidnapping

could give this movie
a wider appeal.

I mean, it's pretty hard

to find an audience
these days, right?

Unless you're a Marvel movie,
Star Wars, whatever, yeah.

Yeah, doesn't sound like
this is that.

No, Vivian, ii isn't.

This is an intelligent film
for grown-ups.

Now, personally,

I want a smart,
character-driven, adult drama

about real life, real people.

But the reality is,

most people need a bit of a hook

to get 'em into the theater.

Okay, now you're talking
about marketing.

And if you're talking
about marketing,

then, yes, you do need a hook
to get them into the theater.

Well, get 'em
into the theater. Come on.

All you need
is a trailer moment.

Pull!

Hold on.
Your daughter gets kidnapped?

Yeah, it's a big trailer moment.

Hey, am I doing this right?

'Cause I had that thing
in my sights.

But who kidnaps her?

Maybe the barrel's warped.

The barrel
is definitely not warped.

Who kidnaps her?

Bad guys.

We both put our lives
on the line to save the daughter

and become better men for it.
It's classic.

It feels like a completely
different movie.

Javi, please.

Just walk down the road
with me on this.

And then what?

The finale is about two men
saving the girl?

That's terrible.

Give me the gun.

You know
the key to shooting well?

Controlling your breath.

And you know how to control
your breath, Nick?

Your heart.

Your heart must be still.

At peace.

My heart

is not still.

My heart

is not at peace.

Do you know why?

Hey, Javi.

If you're not gonna shoot,
maybe hand me the gun?

Because you're lying to me.

What?

Don't fucking lie to me.

I'm not!

Don't fucking lie to me!

Oh, my God, I'm not!
I swear!

I know why you keep on talking
about this kidnapped girl.

You feel guilty
about your relationship

to your own daughter.

Oh, my God, yes.

- A thousand times, yes.
- You are blocked.

Creatively.

Because you feel guilty

about what kind of father
you have been.

You're right. Yep.

You're 100% right.

Pull!

Vivian, what's going on?

Nick, you need to get
out of that house immediately.

The Agency caught a wiretap
on our phones.

Then I picked up a guy
tailing me.

If they've made me,
they've likely made you.

All right. Shit!

Nick, we can no longer
guarantee your safety.

Jesus Christ!

You scared the hell out of me.

Nick,
I need you to come with me.

Right now?

I'm sorry
to have to take this step, Nick.

You don't, though.
You really don't.

No, it is the only option.

Can I just
call my family quickly?

Tell them I love them.

What?

There's no need to call them.

They are here.

- Dad.
- Nick.

Are you okay? What...

What the hell is going on?

Your friend called to say

you were so sick
you couldn't talk.

- We're worried about you.
- Yeah.

You wanna deal with
me, Javi? You deal with me.

But I'm begging you, please,
please leave my family out of this.

Unfortunately, I can't do that.

You've left me no choice.

- Are you dying, Dad?
- Yes.

- Oh, my God.
- What?

- Creatively.
- Oh, come on.

No, physically,
he is tremendous.

I mean, he will probably
outlive us all.

So, you're not even sick?

I'm okay, honey.

- I'm fine. I'm okay.
- Fuck you.

Look, I have grown to care
very deeply about your father.

And ex-husband.

We are working
on a movie together.

A beautiful character-driven,
adult drama.

But he has so many
unresolved issues with you

that it is beginning to bleed
into the work

in a negative way.
Isn't that right, Nick?

Are you both
out of your fucking minds?

Well, you see,
he has so many regrets.

Yeah. Well, here is another
one to add to the list.

We've been on a plane.

All day!

I had to cancel clients.

We were panicking

because we couldn't find
anyone to feed the cats.

You know, they could be dead

by the time we get home
after this bullshit.

House smelling like
a dead cat. That's great.

That's fun.

Well, I had a cat die
in the kitchen once.

And my grandmother
was never able

to get rid of the smell.

I am very sorry
for the inconvenience,

but this is an emergency.

Have lunch with us.

And let him say
what he has to say.

Don't you think
that's a good idea, Nick?

Lunch is a wonderful idea, Javi.

And then, afterwards,
they can go home, right?

Great.

Let's have some fucking tapas.

This is so weird.

Yeah, well... That's...

What'd you expect?

I wanna apologize
to both of you.

I think I should have been
more present

while I was at home.

I didn't always need
to be focused on my work.

My face in a script.

But here's what
I keep coming back to.

Would either of you
have wanted to prevent me

from living my artistic dreams?

Because I sure know
I wouldn't have wanted that

for either of you.

We flew to Mallorca for that?

Wow.

- That was fucking pathetic.
- God, it really was, wasn't it?

No, no, no.
I am honestly speechless.

Really? Because this shit,
you get used to it.

Yeah, that's pretty much
par for the course.

Can't we just focus

on the good times
we did have together?

Addy, that trip we took
across the desert.

I never showed you this before,

but I keep this little photo
in my wallet

to remind me
of all the fun we had.

And I know it wasn't great,

but that song...

I meant that moment
that I wrote in that song.

- I meant it.
- You didn't write it.

You got drunk
and you made it up,

because you couldn't stand
not being the center of attention

- for two fucking seconds.
- Addy.

Because everything
always has to be about you.

What you like.

What books you've read.
What movies you're into.

It's fucked up, you know?

Like, I'm your daughter

and I get nervous.

Like, debilitating
fucking anxiety

that if I don't like
what you like,

you won't like me.

Addy, I was sharing the things
that were meaningful to me.

That were important to me.

No, you weren't.
You weren't.

You were trying to mold me
into this little version of you.

Mold you?

Guide you.
Addy, I love you.

I love you more than anything
in the world.

And I want you to know
I was trying.

I know.
I know you were trying.

You're always trying.

Fuck, that's actually
the saddest part.

Shit!

I think we have more work than
I realized, but this is good.

This is very good.

This is a good first step.

Sorry to interrupt,
Mr. Gutierrez,

but you have a visitor.

Gracias.

Hollywood Javi.
There he is.

I have some news for you.

Javi Ford Coppola.

Sit. Eat with me.

Froot Loops?

Delicious.

Taste it.

I love Froot Loops.

Sergio Baldassari?

Yeah.

But I can't do
a deal with the Italians...

if I am being betrayed.

He flew my wife and daughter

all the way out to Mallorca.

My family!

Shit!

No, don't say "shit"!

You got us into this.
You get us out of this.

There's no way

we can mobilize
an extraction in time.

Then, what am I supposed to do?

If you can get Javi alone,
and then take him out,

it'll buy the Agency time
to get you all out of there.

Do you have access to a firearm?

I might.

Nick, I'm sorry, but this

is the best way
to safeguard your family.

Listen, I need you
to be honest with me.

What the fuck is happening?

Okay.

I'm going to tell you something,

but please don't freak out.

I'm working for the CIA.

Are you having
a nervous breakdown?

Probably.
But I'm telling you the truth.

They wanted some information
on Javi's business dealings

so I've been helping them.

And the strange thing is,
it does kind of make sense

given that so much of acting
is like spying.

Do you have any idea
how this sounds?

'Cause, I mean, it's not good.

Okay, I need an hour
to do one final thing for them

and when I get back,

the three of us will fly to
Los Angeles together, okay?

I don't know what to say.

Don't say anything.
Just take Addy back to my room.

Don't talk to anyone.
Don't go anywhere.

I'll be back to get you.
I promise.

I love you.

Your friend, Nicolas Cage,

the fucking star of Hollywood

is working
for the U.S. government.

Oh, bullshit!

Bullshit!

Bullshit!

Bullshit!

Listen.

I see myself doing more

of this stuff.
You know, spy craft.

Subterfuge. What have you.

I think I might have
a real gift for it.

Good, 'cause we got
another mission for you.

No.

Lucas, no.

Lucas.

No! No, no, no!

I would love
to believe you, primo.

But either I kill you,

or you kill Nicolas Cage.

Your choice.

Hi.

Hey.

I'm sorry.

I should have asked you
before bringing them down.

Yeah.

And I was thinking

maybe a kidnapping would work.

Our movie would start out
as a beautiful character piece

and then, slowly change
into a more thrilling...

Hollywood blockbuster.

Then there's something
for everyone.

Would you like to drive out
to the cliffs?

Clear our heads, and think
through the third act?

Perfect.

So...

We should go.

Yeah.

Are those new shoes?

These?

No, I've had these.

I haven't seen them before.

I don't wear them very much.

I don't think they're really me.

What?

They're great.
They look incredible on you.

They're totally you.
Love 'em.

Do you wanna try them on?

I think they would look
amazing on you.

Those look incredible on you.

- I like how those look on you.
- Yeah.

You wanna trade?

Like, permanently?

Okay.

Cool.

I'm really glad
I got to meet you.

You're the kind of friend
I could...

not see for years,
and not even really talk to

and just pick up
right where we left off.

I totally agree.

It's just...

- easy.
- Easy.

Well...

I guess it's time to figure out

how this thing ends.

Nick...

I meant what I said back there.

Me, too.

Which is why this really hurts.

Javi.

You brought me out here
to kill me, man?

I'm sorry, Nick.

So am I.

'Cause you pull that trigger
and we're both dead.

Wait.
You were gonna kill me?

And are those my golden guns?

They're my golden guns.

And it looks like we both had
a little secret, doesn't it?

Why the fuck would you kill me?

You're the head
of a criminal organization.

My cousin, Lucas, is the head
of the organization.

CIA said you ran it.

The whole world thinks I run it.

When my father died,
Lucas took over.

He forced me
to be the figurehead.

You take his money.

You don't just leave
this world, Nick.

You and everyone you care
about is in constant danger.

Why do you think
I cannot be with Gabriela?

You're into Gabriela?

Are you fucking kidding me?

I can't be with Gabriella,

because that would
put a target on her back.

Wait, you seriously
didn't realize

that we liked each other?

You're in the CIA!

I'm not in the CIA.

I'm a goddamn actor.
You know that.

The only organization
I'm a part of

is the Screen Actors Guild
of America.

And AFTRA. But I don't
even know what that is.

I think it's a radio thing.
Just put down the gun.

No way. You go first.

I'm not going first. You
brought my family out here.

- This is so fucked!
- I don't wanna kill you.

You're the last person
I wanna kill.

- I fucking love you!
- I love you!

It's my cousin.

He must have known
I wouldn't kill you.

I thought so.

Which is why
I should always trust

my shamanic instincts
as a thespian.

Fuck!

- Faster!
- I'm trying.

Your shoes don't offer
any ankle support

Fuck!

Okay. You just run out there.
You get the truck.

You come back and get me.
I will keep a lookout.

Love it.
Love the plan.

But given that you've saddled me

with what basically amounts
to fucking penny loafers

maybe you should go,
and I'll stay here.

I love that plan, I do.

But you are a faster runner
than me,

even with subpar footwear.

I saw how fast you were
in National Treasure.

No, that'd be
the stunt department.

Not according to
the Making Of featurette.

- Fine, I'll go.
- Wait!

So, you're gonna go?
I'm going with you.

There they are!

Shit!

He's coming up on us.

On your left!

Holy shit!

- Brakes!
- What?

Hit the brakes. He will hit
the back of the truck.

- That won't work.
- Yes, it will.

Just do it.
Do it! Do it! Do it!

Don't worry,
he's totally passed out.

Fuck!

I'm okay.
Are you okay?

Liv.

- They took Addy, Nick.
- They took Addy?

She went outside to find you
and they just grabbed her.

There are more soldiers
coming. We have to go.

Fuck!

Vivian? Hello.

Nick, I've sent you the address.

You on the way?

What? They have my daughter.

What do they want with her?

Unfortunately, she's being used

to put pressure
on the U. S. Government

so they'll back off
their support of Delgado.

And unless Delgado
drops out of the election...

Nick, I'm sorry,

but they said
they're gonna kill both girls.

What? What?

You're gonna get him
to dropout, right?

You're gonna get him
to drop out!

Just come directly here.

Fucking...

His people
could still be in the area.

- We have to go.
- Where?

I have a place.
Let's go.

- Let's go.
- Come. Come now.

So, what's the plan here?

You gonna be a big hero?
Save Addy yourself?

You'll end up dead like her.

Leave it to the professionals.

Cal police. Whomever.

There is no one else.

I love you.

And I have always
looked out for you.

Get off of me!

I have to go in there.

Because Addy has to know
I fought for her.

I'm trying to help you,
and you won't listen!

How are you helping me?

How are you ever helping me?

You need to know
who you are, Nick.

This isn't a role.

You're not a hero.

You're just some guy
who's about to get us killed.

You fucking idiot!

I bought this house 20 years ago

for a situation just like this.

It has everything we need.
Food, passports,

materials for disguise.

We'll be safe for the night.

Olivia,

I promise you will get
your daughter back.

The girls are likely being held

in my cousin's compound.

It is a monastery
that they use as a cover,

but it is a fortress.

It is impenetrable.
There are walls on every side.

Any escape routes?

Tunnels. But with metal doors

that only open from the inside.

Even if it weren't
for all of the armed guards,

ii is impossible to get in.

I mean, this psychopath
is gonna kill our daughter

in 12 hours.

So, what the fuck
are we gonna do?

We are going to walk straight
in through the front gate.

Okay, cool.
Very dramatic answer.

How's that supposed to work?

Lucas is trying
to form an alliance

with Sergio Baldassari,

the head
of the Calabero crime family.

Baldassari, I mean, no one
has seen him for 15 years.

Exactly.
And since no one has seen him

no one knows exactly
what he looks like.

Olivia.

Nick says
that you were an incredible

makeup artist when you met.

So, with some prosthetics
and a little makeup...

Then I could play Sergio.

Lucas Gutierrez!

I'd like to introduce
my wife, Barbara.

Why for? She was born
in Santa Barbara, California.

You think I'm fucking stupid, Sergio?

You think you're just gonna
walk in here after 15 years

and kill me, you motherfucker?

He's cutting my fucking ear off!

Who are you working for?
Three seconds.

- It's just me!
- Two!

I promise!

You think she can help you, Sergio?

Go ahead.

You kill him,
I'll still make the deal.

But I don't think
you're gonna kill him.

You don't think I'll kill him?

No, I think
if you were gonna kill him,

you would have done it by now.

So, no,
I don't think you'll do it.

Although, I am wondering

why the fuck you think
you can intimidate me?

Okay, Barbara
from Santa Barbara.

Okay, Barbara.

It is good to see you, Sergio.

Been far too long.

You Okay?

My people will show you
to a room.

Freshen up,
and then, we'll talk.

God, how does my ear look?
He almost cut off my ear.

Shit! We've only got
about 15 minutes, Nick.

We've gotta go find Addy.

- I know.
- According to Javi's map,

they're probably holding her

in the basement
of the building right here.

You ready?

What do we do?

Good one.

Get his gun.

Drop the gun, Sergio.

Neither of you
are supposed to be here.

Come with me.

Lucas.

A gun?

Okay, Sergio.

What's the deal, my man?

You got a fucking problem

you'd like to
tell me about or...

I was beginning to think
you don't have the girl

and since our deal was based
on Delgado dropping out...

- He'll drop out.
- Fuck.

But he hasn't done it yet.

Lucas.

- Lucas!
- Now!

Okay.

You know,

if you and I are gonna be
in business together, Sergio,

you're gonna need to trust me.

What the fuck?

What the fuck, what?

Shit!

Your face...

- Shit!
- I'll blow

his fucking head off, man!

Don't fucking move!

Olivia, take the girls and go.

What's the plan here, Nick?

You get the girls
out of here alive!

No, we can't just
leave him here.

Addy, go with your mom!

He?! Just go. Go!

Come on.

Just run, Addy.

You like that?

Oh, my God.
Nick fucking Cage.

Nick motherfucking Cage!

Don't even think about it!

Okay, this way.
Come on.

Come on.

Now, go!

Wait!

Where's Nick?

He's got a gun on Lucas.

He bought us some time,
but there's others.

He will never make it
out of there alive.

Here's what I know, Nick Cage.

I've got four guys with guns
pointed directly at your head.

Yeah, that's true.
But herds what I know.

My family's safe.

And that's all that matters.

There he is.

There he fucking is!

The American hero.

The fucking star
of Hollywood, eh?

Come on.
What is this?

And this nose, yeah?

Don't fucking move!

Jesus Christ!
This fucking guy again.

Carlos.

Carlos, please.
You don't wanna do this to me.

You don't wanna do this to Javi.

He's been nothing
but good to you.

Javi is about to die.

As are you.

Shit!

Anything you'd like to say
before you die?

"It takes 13 milliseconds
for the human brain

"to send a message to the body.

"So, by the time
your bullets hit me,

"my cerebral cortex
will be transmittin" a signal

"to the 17 healthy muscles

"that operate my trigger finger.

"And before your asshole
has a chance to pucker up,

"your medulla oblongata
will be splattered

"all over the fucking wall
behind ya!

"And if that's the last thing
I accomplish

"on this beautiful green Earth,

"well, then, ha, I say, ha...

"What a way to fucking go."

Shit, come on!
Nick, go! Go!

Did we kill him?

Shit!

You're dead.

All of you!

Nicolas Cage?

That's fucking cool.

Addy, did he...
Did he hurt you?

- Better not have.
- No.

- Are you hungry?
- No.

Javi has apples. You want
a McIntosh? Honey crisp?

No apples, Nick.

Dad, just please,
watch the road. Please!

Shit!

Shit!

Olivia, hand me the guns.
They're right in there.

What are you doing?

No.

Okay, stop the truck.
I will slow them down.

- No way!
- Yes.

You are two kilometers
from the embassy.

If I slow them down,
then you will all make it.

- Javi, I can get us there.
- No!

Just stay in the truck! Javs!

No!

Just get in the car, Javi!

I'm never gonna have
any kind of a life

unless I stand up to my cousin!

I need this.

Now, go.

Go!

You stayed.

Of course.

Don't worry, Addy.
Everyone's gonna be okay.

- How's Maria doing?
- She's okay.

Dad, please go faster.

Yeah. Take this left here.

Shit!

Hold on.

Did we lose 'em?
I think we lost 'em.

Dad, watch out!

I'm gonna kill you,
Nick fucking Cage!

Get down!
Everybody get down!

Hold on!

What just happened?

Addy?

- Come out!
- Gun!

Come on!

Don't you move!

Get back!

Come near me
and I'm gonna kill him.

Addy?

Dad!

We made it, Nick.

We made it.

All of us.

I love you, Daddy.

"I love you, Daddy'?

- Javi wrote that.
- Okay.

Congratulations.

Thanks, Olivia.

We're back.

Not that we went anywhere.

Not that we went anywhere.

- Thanks.
- Thanks.

Nick.

Javi, I've been looking for you.

I was wondering where you went.

Oh, no, I couldn't watch.
I was...

I was too nervous.

How did it play?

They loved it.
Congratulations.

- Really?
- Yeah.

This is...

Nick...

Thank you.

Javi, we did this together.
Thank you.

Do you wanna ride to the party
with me?

They want to interview us.
Vanity Fair.

Yeah, no, I can't tonight.
But you go.

Have fun. Enjoy this.

And give Gabriela my love.

Addy wants to borrow your belt.

Yeah, I do.

It looks like
ifs got some weight.

Well, yeah,
ifs a big, fat tarantula.

You know my dresser, Jeff.

- Mr. Neiman Marcus?
- Yes.

He wanted me to wear a bee.

And I said, "Jeff,
not the bees. Not the bees"

So, he said, “Well, how about
a scorpion?" I said,

"I think a scorpion
is a little aggressive, Jeff.

"What about a tarantula?"

He goes, "Well, I don't think

"that's any
less aggressive, Nick."

And I say,
"Well, it is to me."

They're cute and fuzzy, right?

Well, Addy wants to borrow it.

Not at all.

You can have it.
It's yours.

Are you sure you didn't need
to stay at the premiere?

- Hundred percent.
- Yeah?

Who chose Demi Moore
to play Mom?

Studio.

But it doesn't really do your
mother justice, does it?

Oh, come on.

She's gorgeous.

So are you, Olivia.

Dad, stop hitting on Mom.

I'm not hitting on her.

Gross. I don't wanna
listen to this anymore.

You know what? What do you say
we watch a movie?

Yeah, whatever you want, Dad.

No, really. You choose.

Really?

Yeah, show us something
you like.

This is...

Have you ever seen Paddington 2?

You're Nick

fucking...

Cage!

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