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Previously on "Reginald
the Vampire"...
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00:00:03,055 --> 00:00:05,222
I've never felt
like this before.
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00:00:05,309 --> 00:00:07,441
He is everything
in the world to me.
4
00:00:07,466 --> 00:00:08,972
I'm looking for a
particular herb.
5
00:00:08,997 --> 00:00:10,159
It's called herb-of-the-cross.
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00:00:10,183 --> 00:00:11,967
The blood we take can heal them
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if we give it back.
- Listen to me.
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00:00:13,708 --> 00:00:14,840
Don't worry, Reginald.
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00:00:14,927 --> 00:00:16,102
It'll be over
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00:00:16,189 --> 00:00:17,756
before you know what hit you.
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00:00:17,843 --> 00:00:19,279
There's no way that Sarah...
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00:00:19,366 --> 00:00:21,673
My Sarah... is a vampire slayer.
13
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,936
Here. This'll calm you down.
14
00:00:39,604 --> 00:00:41,214
Hey, Mr. Bluebird.
15
00:00:41,301 --> 00:00:44,174
Ain't life just grand?
16
00:00:46,872 --> 00:00:49,614
♪ My name is Nikki ♪
17
00:00:49,701 --> 00:00:52,393
♪ His name is Reggie ♪
18
00:00:52,418 --> 00:00:54,581
♪ His voice is
like an angel's ♪
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00:00:54,606 --> 00:00:59,245
♪ Every word he
says just melts me ♪
20
00:00:59,270 --> 00:01:01,452
♪ Oh, where is he? ♪
21
00:01:01,477 --> 00:01:04,045
♪ Have you seen him? ♪
22
00:01:04,070 --> 00:01:07,769
♪ He left me at this hotel ♪
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00:01:07,823 --> 00:01:09,390
♪ While I was sleeping ♪
24
00:01:09,415 --> 00:01:11,721
♪ But I'm gonna find him ♪
25
00:01:11,746 --> 00:01:15,794
♪ Even if it takes all day ♪
26
00:01:15,818 --> 00:01:19,082
♪ 'Cause I'm in love ♪
27
00:01:19,168 --> 00:01:22,737
♪ With Reginald the vampire ♪
28
00:01:22,786 --> 00:01:26,007
♪ I've got new feelings ♪
29
00:01:26,164 --> 00:01:29,732
♪ That he's inspired ♪
30
00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:33,238
♪ And I'll give
him all the love ♪
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♪ That he requires ♪
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00:01:37,932 --> 00:01:39,359
Once I find him.
33
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I'm going to make a wild guess.
34
00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:51,154
Just a stab in the dark,
35
00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:53,833
you're looking for Reginald.
36
00:01:53,858 --> 00:01:56,159
About 5'5". Cute smile.
37
00:01:56,184 --> 00:01:57,595
- Mm-hmm.
- Bald.
38
00:01:57,682 --> 00:01:59,336
♪ Yes, I am ♪
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00:01:59,423 --> 00:02:03,209
♪ Have you seen him? ♪
40
00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:05,646
Yes.
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00:02:05,733 --> 00:02:06,778
No.
42
00:02:06,865 --> 00:02:08,736
Don't care.
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00:02:11,463 --> 00:02:13,176
If I didn't have a
busy morning planned
44
00:02:13,263 --> 00:02:14,438
looking for the man I love,
45
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you and I would be knee-deep
46
00:02:17,354 --> 00:02:20,139
in your intestines by now.
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00:02:25,884 --> 00:02:27,364
Here you go.
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00:02:27,451 --> 00:02:28,756
- Thank you.
- Have a good day.
49
00:02:32,698 --> 00:02:34,396
Hi. Is Reginald here?
50
00:02:34,421 --> 00:02:36,730
Why is everyone
looking for Reginald?
51
00:02:36,755 --> 00:02:38,290
If you were looking for someone,
52
00:02:38,315 --> 00:02:40,491
wouldn't Reginald be
your first choice?
53
00:02:40,783 --> 00:02:41,798
Probably not.
54
00:02:43,826 --> 00:02:46,872
I mean, maybe, but
no, probably not.
55
00:02:46,897 --> 00:02:49,518
Do you know what's weird?
- Every single time.
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00:02:49,543 --> 00:02:51,852
I feel like I should be
searching for someone,
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00:02:51,877 --> 00:02:54,663
but I don't know who it is
or why I feel like that.
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00:02:54,688 --> 00:02:56,517
But no matter what I do,
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00:02:56,542 --> 00:02:58,308
I can't get the
idea outta my head.
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00:02:58,333 --> 00:03:01,392
Golly, that's interesting.
61
00:03:02,034 --> 00:03:03,638
And as much as I
would love to stay
62
00:03:03,663 --> 00:03:05,759
and dig deeper into your head...
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00:03:07,543 --> 00:03:09,931
I must continue my
search for Reginald,
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00:03:10,004 --> 00:03:12,920
the bestest,
kindest, roundest...
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00:03:12,945 --> 00:03:15,687
- Hi. I'm Claire.
- Hi, Claire.
66
00:03:15,712 --> 00:03:17,300
Do you know where Reginald is?
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00:03:19,330 --> 00:03:20,766
But I know him.
68
00:03:20,791 --> 00:03:22,880
We're basically best friends.
69
00:03:22,943 --> 00:03:24,727
Maybe you and me
can talk for a while
70
00:03:24,752 --> 00:03:26,754
and that'll help you find him?
71
00:03:26,779 --> 00:03:28,599
Can I ask you a
personal question?
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00:03:28,624 --> 00:03:30,495
Ask away, little human.
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00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:32,218
You're a vampire.
Don't try to it.
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00:03:32,243 --> 00:03:34,692
- Statement, not a question.
- Still...
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00:03:34,717 --> 00:03:37,676
What on Earth would
make you think that?
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00:03:37,825 --> 00:03:39,436
You've got an umbrella
to keep you safe
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00:03:39,523 --> 00:03:41,264
from the sun, there's
blood on your neck,
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00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:43,440
and you know Reginald's
deepest, darkest secret,
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00:03:43,527 --> 00:03:44,919
like you were two
of the same kind.
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00:03:45,006 --> 00:03:46,443
You're not afraid of me.
81
00:03:46,530 --> 00:03:48,662
- No.
- You should be.
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00:03:48,749 --> 00:03:50,490
I don't scare easy.
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00:03:50,577 --> 00:03:52,144
Wait.
84
00:03:52,231 --> 00:03:55,365
You want something from me.
85
00:03:55,452 --> 00:03:57,010
How brave you are.
86
00:03:57,687 --> 00:03:59,228
What do you want?
Tell me everything.
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00:03:59,253 --> 00:04:00,674
I'm fascinated.
88
00:04:00,761 --> 00:04:03,924
I feel nauseous and emotional.
89
00:04:04,944 --> 00:04:06,685
I have this weird
feeling all the time.
90
00:04:06,710 --> 00:04:08,320
And I don't remember
when it started,
91
00:04:08,345 --> 00:04:12,295
but every day it
gets worse, bigger.
92
00:04:14,628 --> 00:04:17,329
And I'm not saying that's
because, you know, puberty...
93
00:04:17,354 --> 00:04:18,588
It isn't.
94
00:04:19,438 --> 00:04:21,831
I can see that.
95
00:04:21,856 --> 00:04:23,336
I can smell it too.
96
00:04:23,361 --> 00:04:24,698
You can smell feelings?
97
00:04:30,076 --> 00:04:31,469
Speaking of feelings,
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00:04:31,494 --> 00:04:33,017
at the moment,
99
00:04:33,042 --> 00:04:34,740
mine are huge and
uncontrollable,
100
00:04:34,765 --> 00:04:36,159
volcano-sized.
101
00:04:36,184 --> 00:04:38,221
And while I could sit
here and talk for hours,
102
00:04:38,246 --> 00:04:40,074
I must instead go
share this bounty
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00:04:40,099 --> 00:04:43,058
of my undying affections
with my new lover.
104
00:04:43,107 --> 00:04:44,325
Wait.
105
00:04:44,365 --> 00:04:46,498
I have a proposition for you.
106
00:04:46,671 --> 00:04:48,455
It's a life or death situation.
107
00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:51,657
Maybe we can get
together, talk it over?
108
00:04:51,728 --> 00:04:53,229
What do you say to that?
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00:04:54,989 --> 00:04:56,737
I'd say,
110
00:04:57,039 --> 00:04:59,477
how's about tonight?
111
00:05:02,562 --> 00:05:04,825
♪ Oh, where is he? ♪
112
00:05:04,873 --> 00:05:07,136
♪ Have you seen him? ♪
113
00:05:07,161 --> 00:05:10,817
♪ He left me at this hotel ♪
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00:05:10,842 --> 00:05:12,627
While I was sleeping.
115
00:05:12,674 --> 00:05:15,024
♪ But I'm gonna find him ♪
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00:05:15,049 --> 00:05:18,008
♪ Even if it takes all day ♪
117
00:05:22,738 --> 00:05:24,305
What are you doing here, Nikki?
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00:05:24,330 --> 00:05:26,432
Delivering gifts
to my new lover.
119
00:05:26,457 --> 00:05:28,241
Is he here?
120
00:05:28,314 --> 00:05:30,534
Wait. You saved Reginald?
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00:05:30,808 --> 00:05:32,113
Saved?
122
00:05:33,724 --> 00:05:35,421
I made sweet love to him
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00:05:35,508 --> 00:05:38,250
until he purred like
a hundred kittens.
124
00:05:38,337 --> 00:05:40,687
Or puppies, but
puppies don't purr.
125
00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:41,775
But if they did...
126
00:05:44,299 --> 00:05:47,085
Look, Nikki, I don't know
how to explain this to you
127
00:05:47,172 --> 00:05:48,652
in a way you're
gonna understand,
128
00:05:48,739 --> 00:05:51,872
but please, just do me
the favor of trying.
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00:05:53,756 --> 00:05:56,237
Okay, Mo-Mo. Spill.
130
00:05:56,442 --> 00:05:57,922
Okay.
131
00:06:00,474 --> 00:06:02,666
Reginald has a lot on
his plate right now.
132
00:06:02,691 --> 00:06:04,823
Like I told him, The
Assessment's coming up,
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00:06:04,848 --> 00:06:06,807
and he needs to focus
on his training,
134
00:06:06,832 --> 00:06:10,314
because, as you know,
if he fails that,
135
00:06:10,339 --> 00:06:12,896
your "new lover" becomes your
"permanently dead lover."
136
00:06:14,505 --> 00:06:16,809
Not to mention the most
important thing of all,
137
00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:20,490
and I'm sorry to be the one
to tell you this, but...
138
00:06:20,756 --> 00:06:22,366
look, Reggie has a girlfriend.
139
00:06:24,305 --> 00:06:27,134
Yeah, it's his
vampire life goal.
140
00:06:29,301 --> 00:06:30,858
Girlfriend?
141
00:06:31,424 --> 00:06:33,780
How human of him.
142
00:06:34,228 --> 00:06:36,796
I'm sure we'll all
get on famously.
143
00:06:36,821 --> 00:06:38,974
Are you a couple sighs away
from reaching the point yet?
144
00:06:38,998 --> 00:06:43,110
Look, Nikki, hear me like
your life is at stake, okay?
145
00:06:43,135 --> 00:06:44,975
Stop messing with Reginald.
He can't handle it.
146
00:06:48,685 --> 00:06:51,862
Life. Stake.
147
00:06:51,887 --> 00:06:54,007
If I knew you were this
funny, I would've come sooner.
148
00:06:54,176 --> 00:06:56,134
But all the same,
it was really nice
149
00:06:56,190 --> 00:06:58,758
to have this chat
with you, Maurice.
150
00:07:02,073 --> 00:07:03,683
Wait for it.
151
00:07:06,599 --> 00:07:08,819
Yeah.
152
00:07:08,906 --> 00:07:11,038
Yeah, it was nice
meeting you too, Nikki.
153
00:07:11,125 --> 00:07:12,823
It was nice.
154
00:07:14,650 --> 00:07:17,653
But Reginald is a big boy who
can make his own decisions.
155
00:07:17,678 --> 00:07:20,377
And if you ever try to take
him away from me again,
156
00:07:20,573 --> 00:07:22,923
it won't be such a
pleasant chat next time.
157
00:07:23,072 --> 00:07:24,900
Hey, Reginald's not a toy.
158
00:07:24,925 --> 00:07:26,325
He can't make
decisions for himself.
159
00:07:26,350 --> 00:07:28,047
He's still too human.
160
00:07:28,254 --> 00:07:30,082
Don't you remember
how that felt?
161
00:07:30,107 --> 00:07:31,326
Thirsty and horny.
162
00:07:46,415 --> 00:07:48,155
Miss, are you okay?
163
00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:56,736
I'm okay.
164
00:07:58,676 --> 00:08:01,070
Uh, yeah. Thank you.
165
00:08:08,867 --> 00:08:10,260
Thank you.
166
00:08:12,254 --> 00:08:13,560
Reginald?
167
00:08:24,988 --> 00:08:28,470
It's Reg, but I can't
answer the phone, so beep...
168
00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:30,902
Reginald Andres.
169
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:33,103
He's about 5'5".
170
00:08:33,299 --> 00:08:35,606
Cute smile, bald.
171
00:08:35,631 --> 00:08:37,284
We checked in last night.
172
00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:39,170
I haven't seen anyone
leave this morning
173
00:08:39,233 --> 00:08:40,475
that fits that description,
174
00:08:40,563 --> 00:08:42,087
but if he comes by,
175
00:08:42,112 --> 00:08:44,897
I'll let him know you
were looking for him.
176
00:08:48,602 --> 00:08:49,951
Miss Kinney?
- Hmm?
177
00:08:50,398 --> 00:08:52,487
You're all set.
178
00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:53,706
Oh.
179
00:09:05,370 --> 00:09:07,633
Come on.
180
00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:08,895
I feel like...
181
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:10,251
Pretty sure we agreed
182
00:09:10,276 --> 00:09:11,900
that if I let you switch
shifts with Ashley,
183
00:09:11,924 --> 00:09:13,839
you'd be here early to open.
184
00:09:13,864 --> 00:09:15,467
Yeah. We talked
about that, right?
185
00:09:18,719 --> 00:09:20,199
It wasn't a dream.
186
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:22,088
What wasn't a dream?
187
00:09:22,113 --> 00:09:24,115
Everything.
188
00:09:24,140 --> 00:09:26,621
It's so... up and surreal.
189
00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:28,959
My memories, my actions.
190
00:09:29,093 --> 00:09:30,899
I don't know what's
happening to me.
191
00:09:30,924 --> 00:09:32,448
I have to find Reginald.
192
00:09:32,473 --> 00:09:34,274
Sarah.
193
00:09:34,673 --> 00:09:35,935
What the hell?
194
00:09:46,193 --> 00:09:48,239
I know it's been a while.
195
00:09:48,264 --> 00:09:50,875
Oh, shit, I don't
wanna start like that.
196
00:09:50,900 --> 00:09:52,206
Every prayer starts like that
197
00:09:52,231 --> 00:09:54,799
when you haven't
prayed in a while.
198
00:09:54,993 --> 00:09:57,038
Honestly,
199
00:09:57,063 --> 00:10:00,763
this was the only thing I
ever bought from you guys:
200
00:10:00,788 --> 00:10:03,747
a guardian angel
who watches over me.
201
00:10:03,772 --> 00:10:05,557
That's just nice
202
00:10:05,582 --> 00:10:09,542
and doesn't strain credulity
in any weird, obvious way.
203
00:10:13,330 --> 00:10:17,247
I know that you're
not my therapist,
204
00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:21,110
or my priest, or my friend.
205
00:10:21,306 --> 00:10:24,091
I don't know what you are,
206
00:10:24,139 --> 00:10:27,055
but I just need
someone to listen.
207
00:10:28,909 --> 00:10:33,087
So if you're listening,
208
00:10:33,143 --> 00:10:35,101
my name is Sarah
209
00:10:35,126 --> 00:10:40,131
and my life has
recently been weird.
210
00:10:41,658 --> 00:10:43,225
I'm in love
211
00:10:43,250 --> 00:10:46,731
with a man who orbits
around that weirdness,
212
00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:51,651
or maybe the weirdness
is on his axis,
213
00:10:51,911 --> 00:10:56,524
but... please protect
me and Reginald.
214
00:10:57,952 --> 00:11:01,086
Make us both stronger
than what we currently are
215
00:11:01,126 --> 00:11:04,085
for each other
and for ourselves.
216
00:11:06,093 --> 00:11:08,040
Whoever you are...
217
00:11:09,852 --> 00:11:11,462
thanks.
218
00:11:11,487 --> 00:11:15,305
And, um, till next
time, or decade,
219
00:11:15,330 --> 00:11:19,246
or personal crisis,
220
00:11:19,620 --> 00:11:20,969
amen.
221
00:11:23,029 --> 00:11:24,204
Okay.
222
00:11:32,602 --> 00:11:34,255
Hey, Sarah.
223
00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:37,022
I'm... I'm looking for Reginald.
224
00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:39,363
You and me both.
225
00:11:39,404 --> 00:11:40,623
Come in.
226
00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:49,216
It feels like a dream,
227
00:11:49,767 --> 00:11:52,727
but the more the day goes by,
the less it feels like that.
228
00:11:54,451 --> 00:11:56,120
And this isn't
even the first time
229
00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:58,195
this has happened,
230
00:11:58,220 --> 00:12:00,483
these missing pieces
inside my head.
231
00:12:03,084 --> 00:12:06,609
I don't understand
what's happening to me.
232
00:12:06,899 --> 00:12:09,423
And sometimes,
233
00:12:09,448 --> 00:12:13,626
I don't know if I wanna
kiss him or kill him.
234
00:12:13,651 --> 00:12:16,279
How's that even possible?
235
00:12:17,532 --> 00:12:19,882
That confusion you're feeling,
236
00:12:19,946 --> 00:12:21,731
it will fade
237
00:12:21,778 --> 00:12:24,215
until all you wanna do is kiss.
238
00:12:24,388 --> 00:12:25,868
Okay? Trust me on that.
239
00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:28,171
But until it does,
240
00:12:28,196 --> 00:12:30,241
maybe just keep your distance.
241
00:12:32,428 --> 00:12:33,647
I...
242
00:12:35,819 --> 00:12:38,822
I would never...
243
00:12:38,948 --> 00:12:41,701
hurt Reginald.
244
00:12:42,411 --> 00:12:44,718
I care so much about him.
245
00:12:44,797 --> 00:12:47,849
And that's something
that grows and grows,
246
00:12:48,340 --> 00:12:51,735
so why would I ever do
anything to ruin that?
247
00:12:52,142 --> 00:12:53,622
I don't understand.
248
00:12:55,529 --> 00:12:57,060
Sarah,
249
00:12:57,354 --> 00:12:59,661
if you let me,
250
00:12:59,686 --> 00:13:03,279
I can make sure this never
happens to you again.
251
00:13:03,846 --> 00:13:04,934
Promise?
252
00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:27,317
Reginald...
253
00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:30,200
♪ Good morning ♪
254
00:13:30,287 --> 00:13:32,115
♪ Good morning ♪
255
00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:36,430
♪ Such a glorious day ♪
- Aah!
256
00:13:36,455 --> 00:13:38,370
♪ Good morning ♪
257
00:13:38,395 --> 00:13:41,621
♪ Good morning ♪
258
00:13:41,646 --> 00:13:43,909
- ♪ Don't waste it all away ♪
259
00:13:44,018 --> 00:13:45,237
♪ ♪
260
00:13:45,651 --> 00:13:49,046
♪ Turn on the radio ♪
261
00:13:53,252 --> 00:13:56,821
♪ Let's all enjoy
this happy day ♪
262
00:13:56,860 --> 00:13:58,601
♪ Good morning ♪
263
00:13:58,626 --> 00:14:00,759
♪ Good morning ♪
264
00:14:00,845 --> 00:14:02,585
♪ Good morning ♪
265
00:14:02,619 --> 00:14:04,838
♪ Good morning ♪
266
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:06,839
♪ Good morning ♪
267
00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:35,014
Good morning, sir. How can...
268
00:14:35,039 --> 00:14:36,039
Sarah Kinney!
269
00:14:36,064 --> 00:14:37,979
Has she checked out yet?
270
00:14:38,004 --> 00:14:39,461
Sarah Kinney.
271
00:14:39,486 --> 00:14:40,644
Yes.
272
00:14:40,669 --> 00:14:42,886
She checked out this
morning, Reginald.
273
00:14:45,352 --> 00:14:47,267
Ah, you might want
to put on pants
274
00:14:47,292 --> 00:14:48,816
before you go outside.
275
00:14:49,051 --> 00:14:50,835
Pants are customary inside too,
276
00:14:50,860 --> 00:14:52,621
but not much I can do about...
277
00:15:18,634 --> 00:15:20,114
- Excuse me.
- Hey.
278
00:15:20,139 --> 00:15:21,660
- Smock up, friendo.
- Uh...
279
00:15:21,685 --> 00:15:22,848
I'm not gonna thank
you, Reginald,
280
00:15:22,872 --> 00:15:23,997
but with the day
I've been having...
281
00:15:24,021 --> 00:15:25,239
I mean, the whole
week actually...
282
00:15:25,263 --> 00:15:26,699
It almost makes me want to.
283
00:15:26,941 --> 00:15:28,100
What's with the umbrella?
284
00:15:28,125 --> 00:15:29,213
Have you seen Sarah?
285
00:15:29,238 --> 00:15:30,581
I wanna talk to the manager.
286
00:15:30,606 --> 00:15:32,433
You just missed her.
First she shows up late
287
00:15:32,458 --> 00:15:34,176
for her switch shift with
Ashley, acting all crazy,
288
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,680
and then she just
walked out the door.
289
00:15:35,785 --> 00:15:37,178
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
290
00:15:37,203 --> 00:15:39,031
Is this some weird
game between you two?
291
00:15:39,056 --> 00:15:41,175
Because I do have the
power to fire you both.
292
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,942
Todd, look. Thank you.
293
00:15:43,967 --> 00:15:47,318
I sympathize. I
totally understand.
294
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:48,676
Thanks, man, that
actually means a lot
295
00:15:48,700 --> 00:15:50,445
that you're listening... what?
296
00:15:50,470 --> 00:15:51,687
Where are you going, Reg?
297
00:15:51,712 --> 00:15:53,275
No, no, no, no, no,
no. Come back, please.
298
00:15:53,299 --> 00:15:55,388
Please, Reg! Reg! Reg! Reg!
299
00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:59,131
Yeesh.
300
00:15:59,156 --> 00:16:01,419
- You missed training.
- Have you seen Sarah anywhere?
301
00:16:01,444 --> 00:16:02,945
I'm trying to find her, and
she's not at her apartment,
302
00:16:02,969 --> 00:16:05,580
or the Slushy Shack,
or where I left her.
303
00:16:05,605 --> 00:16:07,302
What if she's hurt?
304
00:16:07,417 --> 00:16:08,810
What if I'm going crazy?
305
00:16:08,929 --> 00:16:10,800
What if you die
at The Assessment?
306
00:16:10,825 --> 00:16:12,151
I don't have time
for that right now.
307
00:16:12,175 --> 00:16:13,283
Reggie, get ahold of yourself.
308
00:16:13,307 --> 00:16:14,743
The Assessment is literally
309
00:16:14,768 --> 00:16:15,963
the only damn thing
you have time for.
310
00:16:15,987 --> 00:16:18,207
And it was going so well.
311
00:16:18,479 --> 00:16:19,480
Nice dinner.
312
00:16:19,505 --> 00:16:21,028
We got to the hotel room.
313
00:16:21,053 --> 00:16:23,316
And then she went
to the bathroom,
314
00:16:23,341 --> 00:16:25,474
where she tried to kill me!
315
00:16:25,684 --> 00:16:27,555
Start from the
beginning. Slowly.
316
00:16:27,580 --> 00:16:29,136
What happened last night?
317
00:16:31,623 --> 00:16:34,061
Sarah and I had a date
at the hotel restaurant.
318
00:16:34,086 --> 00:16:35,435
We went up to the room together.
319
00:16:35,460 --> 00:16:37,244
We were about to get in bed
320
00:16:37,269 --> 00:16:40,055
when she went into the bathroom
and came back with a stake
321
00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:42,691
and tried to stab me
through the heart with it.
322
00:16:43,088 --> 00:16:44,611
She wasn't herself.
323
00:16:44,698 --> 00:16:46,025
She was insane,
324
00:16:46,050 --> 00:16:47,688
so I got out of there,
locked her in a closet
325
00:16:47,712 --> 00:16:49,323
so she wouldn't try to kill me.
326
00:16:49,355 --> 00:16:53,056
But then, I came back to
find her this morning,
327
00:16:53,081 --> 00:16:55,649
and she was gone.
328
00:16:55,674 --> 00:16:59,286
But this was right
where she left it.
329
00:17:01,392 --> 00:17:02,872
It's like someone glamoured her,
330
00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:05,762
but who would glamour
Sarah like that?
331
00:17:05,787 --> 00:17:07,057
Angela.
332
00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:10,594
Angela would glamour
Sarah like that.
333
00:17:10,619 --> 00:17:12,577
She saw an opportunity
to make a move
334
00:17:12,602 --> 00:17:14,952
when you were most
vulnerable, and she made it.
335
00:17:15,336 --> 00:17:17,251
Angela turned Sarah
into her killer,
336
00:17:17,276 --> 00:17:18,385
and you were the target.
337
00:17:18,410 --> 00:17:19,716
How do you know that?
338
00:17:21,412 --> 00:17:23,223
Wait a sec.
339
00:17:23,262 --> 00:17:25,957
You talked to Sarah
already, didn't you?
340
00:17:25,982 --> 00:17:27,549
Yeah.
341
00:17:27,574 --> 00:17:28,943
Yeah, Sarah's looking for you,
342
00:17:28,968 --> 00:17:31,739
but I wanted to hear your
version of last night first.
343
00:17:33,725 --> 00:17:36,163
Look, the thing with this
sort of glamour is...
344
00:17:36,188 --> 00:17:38,080
Well, there's a chance
that Sarah might still have
345
00:17:38,104 --> 00:17:40,159
a homicidal urge or two, okay?
346
00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:42,739
And I strongly encourage
you to wait a few days
347
00:17:42,764 --> 00:17:44,331
just to make sure
it's fully worn off.
348
00:17:50,982 --> 00:17:52,996
I don't have time for that.
349
00:17:53,890 --> 00:17:55,065
Reggie.
350
00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:14,179
Reginald!
351
00:18:26,377 --> 00:18:28,098
I've been looking
for you everywhere.
352
00:18:35,679 --> 00:18:39,161
♪ My name is Nikki ♪
353
00:18:39,248 --> 00:18:42,512
♪ His name is Reggie ♪
354
00:18:42,537 --> 00:18:44,220
I think we should go
somewhere more private.
355
00:18:44,244 --> 00:18:45,781
We've got a lot to talk about.
356
00:18:45,806 --> 00:18:49,114
- Oh, okay. Yeah.
- ♪ He says that he loves me ♪
357
00:19:05,622 --> 00:19:07,363
Once I find him.
358
00:19:11,078 --> 00:19:12,859
Hey, what the hell
happened last night?
359
00:19:12,884 --> 00:19:13,914
That's ancient history.
360
00:19:13,939 --> 00:19:16,484
You know, ages ago.
- It was last night.
361
00:19:16,509 --> 00:19:18,547
Well, you know what, time
is an elastic concept,
362
00:19:18,572 --> 00:19:20,522
and I feel like the
way we perceive time
363
00:19:20,547 --> 00:19:22,593
is, uh, you know.
364
00:19:22,618 --> 00:19:24,118
You know, it was
like I was there
365
00:19:24,143 --> 00:19:25,515
and not there at the same time.
366
00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:27,307
And Reginald, I think I
tried to hurt you last night,
367
00:19:27,331 --> 00:19:28,765
but that can't be true, can it?
368
00:19:28,790 --> 00:19:30,293
Hey, think we could
table this conversation
369
00:19:30,317 --> 00:19:31,927
a bit longer so I can experience
370
00:19:31,952 --> 00:19:33,452
the greatest thing that's
ever gonna happen to me.
371
00:19:33,476 --> 00:19:35,065
- I feel like hopes are high.
372
00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:37,049
- It's your first time.
- Mm-hmm.
373
00:19:38,437 --> 00:19:40,047
Follow my lead.
374
00:19:40,072 --> 00:19:41,248
- Ah.
375
00:19:41,397 --> 00:19:42,746
Ah.
376
00:19:45,531 --> 00:19:48,230
What are you looking at?
377
00:19:48,255 --> 00:19:49,430
Your neck.
378
00:19:49,579 --> 00:19:51,363
Is that weird?
379
00:19:51,388 --> 00:19:52,563
Oh, okay.
380
00:19:52,588 --> 00:19:54,242
When you close your eyes...
- Yeah.
381
00:19:54,357 --> 00:19:56,228
Do you see pointy sticks?
382
00:19:56,393 --> 00:19:59,179
No, I see a nice neck.
383
00:19:59,204 --> 00:20:01,641
- And I wanna kiss it.
384
00:20:01,837 --> 00:20:04,753
- Aw.
385
00:20:04,825 --> 00:20:06,131
Mm.
386
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:14,598
There's a blank space
387
00:20:14,623 --> 00:20:17,365
between the way you and
me in the hotel room
388
00:20:17,390 --> 00:20:20,871
and me waking up in the
closet the next morning.
389
00:20:24,918 --> 00:20:29,183
Well, we had dinner and drinks.
390
00:20:29,208 --> 00:20:30,600
Then, we went up to the room,
391
00:20:30,625 --> 00:20:32,932
where, you know, you
sort of fell asleep
392
00:20:32,957 --> 00:20:36,047
before we could do anything.
393
00:20:36,072 --> 00:20:38,161
Maybe someone put
something in my drink?
394
00:20:38,247 --> 00:20:40,510
- Mm-mm-mm.
- I can't remember.
395
00:20:42,871 --> 00:20:46,440
Well, I woke up and
you were gone, so...
396
00:20:46,488 --> 00:20:47,967
In the closet.
397
00:20:48,056 --> 00:20:50,580
I don't know how I got there,
398
00:20:50,605 --> 00:20:53,303
but I'm pretty sure
that I was attacked
399
00:20:53,328 --> 00:20:57,071
by the same woman who sang
with us at the karaoke bar.
400
00:20:57,516 --> 00:21:00,737
But that's crazy, right?
401
00:21:00,824 --> 00:21:04,436
- I mean...
402
00:21:04,523 --> 00:21:06,482
I gotta find out
what happened to me.
403
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:50,961
Hmm.
404
00:21:51,048 --> 00:21:52,579
You're fast.
405
00:21:52,930 --> 00:21:55,498
Double solitaire is my jam.
406
00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:59,005
It's like you memorized
every card in both decks.
407
00:21:59,059 --> 00:22:01,071
I maybe just have a
really great memory.
408
00:22:01,145 --> 00:22:03,060
No shit.
409
00:22:03,102 --> 00:22:05,180
Okay, I surrender
410
00:22:05,205 --> 00:22:08,370
to your strangely
superior gameplay.
411
00:22:08,395 --> 00:22:10,919
Okay, I accept your surrender.
412
00:22:15,638 --> 00:22:17,117
Oh, they're everywhere.
413
00:22:22,568 --> 00:22:24,178
This is perfect.
414
00:22:24,203 --> 00:22:25,770
Close enough.
415
00:22:25,795 --> 00:22:29,494
No, I mean literal perfection.
416
00:22:29,751 --> 00:22:31,710
It's, like, happiness
times infinity.
417
00:22:31,735 --> 00:22:34,694
And I don't even know
what that equals, but I...
418
00:22:34,719 --> 00:22:37,579
I like you too, Reginald.
419
00:22:38,477 --> 00:22:40,726
That's a lot better than
wanting to kill me, right?
420
00:22:40,751 --> 00:22:42,927
So progress?
421
00:22:43,010 --> 00:22:45,099
Mm.
422
00:22:53,893 --> 00:22:57,024
What's with that weird umbrella?
423
00:22:57,049 --> 00:23:00,705
Oh, this is a parasol actually.
424
00:23:00,730 --> 00:23:02,993
I don't remember you
having a parasol.
425
00:23:03,018 --> 00:23:05,760
I suffer from solar urticaria.
426
00:23:05,982 --> 00:23:07,505
Solar what-now?
427
00:23:07,561 --> 00:23:08,969
Urticaria?
428
00:23:09,898 --> 00:23:12,204
Um, basically,
exposure to sunlight,
429
00:23:12,229 --> 00:23:14,579
uh, I'm allergic to it.
430
00:23:17,593 --> 00:23:19,247
I get hives.
431
00:23:20,609 --> 00:23:22,088
Do they itch?
432
00:23:25,531 --> 00:23:27,707
He is the most gentle of lovers,
433
00:23:27,732 --> 00:23:29,212
and I've had more than my share.
434
00:23:29,237 --> 00:23:31,500
Except I often kill them after.
435
00:23:31,586 --> 00:23:33,284
But I made an
exception this time
436
00:23:33,309 --> 00:23:36,007
because there's something
about him that moves me.
437
00:23:36,032 --> 00:23:38,513
It moved me from the
moment I heard him sing.
438
00:23:38,833 --> 00:23:40,225
Reginald?
439
00:23:40,250 --> 00:23:41,821
You're talking about
Reginald Andres?
440
00:23:43,001 --> 00:23:44,335
He is my new lover.
441
00:23:44,422 --> 00:23:45,597
Wow.
442
00:23:45,622 --> 00:23:47,624
Just... wow.
443
00:23:47,649 --> 00:23:49,102
But enough about me.
444
00:23:49,127 --> 00:23:51,293
Tell me about this life
or death proposition
445
00:23:51,318 --> 00:23:53,524
you wish to offer me,
which is, of course,
446
00:23:53,549 --> 00:23:54,942
my favorite kind.
447
00:23:55,164 --> 00:23:56,861
I wanna be a vampire
like you are.
448
00:23:56,886 --> 00:23:57,922
Of course you do.
449
00:23:57,947 --> 00:23:59,477
That's not a
business proposition.
450
00:23:59,502 --> 00:24:01,446
That's a fever dream
of the first order.
451
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:06,094
Why are you dreaming this dream?
452
00:24:06,131 --> 00:24:07,698
- Do I have to tell?
- Yes.
453
00:24:09,166 --> 00:24:11,290
Because it's the only
way for me to fight evil.
454
00:24:14,197 --> 00:24:18,332
But you understand,
we don't fight evil.
455
00:24:18,357 --> 00:24:20,946
We are evil.
456
00:24:21,224 --> 00:24:24,641
In the most delightful way,
however, biblical in origin.
457
00:24:24,666 --> 00:24:26,086
Personally, current distinctions
458
00:24:26,111 --> 00:24:27,862
between good and evil
leave a lot to be desired.
459
00:24:27,886 --> 00:24:29,735
I need to fight this fight.
460
00:24:30,131 --> 00:24:32,481
And I would love to turn you...
461
00:24:32,506 --> 00:24:34,682
And we could fight together...
462
00:24:34,707 --> 00:24:37,797
But one does not turn
without preparation.
463
00:24:37,822 --> 00:24:39,867
One does not turn
before one is ready.
464
00:24:40,260 --> 00:24:41,871
You are the "one"
in this formulation
465
00:24:41,896 --> 00:24:42,897
if you didn't know.
466
00:24:42,922 --> 00:24:43,966
I know.
467
00:24:43,991 --> 00:24:46,429
So prepare, Claire.
468
00:24:46,454 --> 00:24:47,915
That rhymes.
469
00:24:48,437 --> 00:24:51,094
Prepare, and when you're of age,
470
00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:53,688
I will most definitely
grant your wish...
471
00:24:53,713 --> 00:24:56,322
But only when you're ready
for the everlasting life
472
00:24:56,347 --> 00:24:57,747
and everything that
comes with it...
473
00:25:00,829 --> 00:25:02,282
I smell sulfur.
474
00:25:09,619 --> 00:25:10,922
What lives beyond this door?
475
00:25:10,947 --> 00:25:12,227
My mom. She's sleeping.
476
00:25:12,252 --> 00:25:13,451
Wait!
477
00:25:14,542 --> 00:25:15,978
Definitely sulfur.
478
00:25:17,994 --> 00:25:19,517
How often does it come?
479
00:25:19,542 --> 00:25:20,594
Most nights.
480
00:25:20,619 --> 00:25:22,012
I don't know how to stop it.
481
00:25:22,037 --> 00:25:23,446
And how's your
mother afterwards?
482
00:25:23,471 --> 00:25:25,102
Different, but
she's still my mom.
483
00:25:29,533 --> 00:25:31,501
I once heard rumor
of a child vampire
484
00:25:31,526 --> 00:25:33,876
who terrorized all of
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
485
00:25:33,901 --> 00:25:36,991
I promise not to terrorize
anyone who doesn't deserve it.
486
00:25:37,181 --> 00:25:38,791
I believe you.
487
00:25:49,188 --> 00:25:50,508
Hello, lover!
488
00:25:52,434 --> 00:25:55,481
I'm thrilled that you're here.
489
00:25:55,506 --> 00:25:57,247
I'm giving back your parasol.
490
00:26:02,038 --> 00:26:03,126
We need to talk.
491
00:26:03,151 --> 00:26:04,892
Speak to me, roundish lover.
492
00:26:04,917 --> 00:26:08,442
I can't be your lover.
493
00:26:08,467 --> 00:26:10,185
I promise not to kill
you, if that's a concern.
494
00:26:10,209 --> 00:26:13,081
Which is sweet, but...
495
00:26:14,481 --> 00:26:16,102
Look,
496
00:26:16,922 --> 00:26:19,446
it's not you.
497
00:26:19,471 --> 00:26:21,868
It's me.
498
00:26:23,181 --> 00:26:25,488
"It's not you.
499
00:26:25,513 --> 00:26:27,633
It's me"?
500
00:26:27,982 --> 00:26:30,519
Basically sums it up,
reversing the me/you polarity
501
00:26:30,544 --> 00:26:33,024
of course.
502
00:26:33,703 --> 00:26:35,602
That's sounds like
something humans would say
503
00:26:35,627 --> 00:26:37,736
when they're confused about
their place in the universe
504
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:40,344
or trying to get
out of a bad date.
505
00:26:42,590 --> 00:26:44,113
But we're not humans,
506
00:26:44,138 --> 00:26:47,282
you and I,
507
00:26:47,536 --> 00:26:50,800
so how could that
possibly be relevant?
508
00:26:53,219 --> 00:26:56,047
Well, that was worth a shot.
509
00:26:56,496 --> 00:26:58,352
I should go.
510
00:27:03,447 --> 00:27:04,666
Wait.
511
00:27:08,531 --> 00:27:10,141
You brought me tribute.
512
00:27:10,166 --> 00:27:12,235
Surely there's something
I can give you in return?
513
00:27:12,260 --> 00:27:13,696
It's just an umbrella.
514
00:27:13,721 --> 00:27:14,868
Parasol.
515
00:27:14,893 --> 00:27:16,852
Right, but...
516
00:27:19,112 --> 00:27:22,246
Quench your undying
thirst before you go.
517
00:27:22,271 --> 00:27:24,938
Drink from me.
518
00:27:27,338 --> 00:27:29,601
Love is a mystery
unlike any other,
519
00:27:29,625 --> 00:27:33,411
but I think I understand
my place in it now.
520
00:27:33,436 --> 00:27:35,916
Yes, it was your voice
and the song you sang,
521
00:27:35,941 --> 00:27:38,641
but over time, I've come
to recognize a difference.
522
00:27:39,335 --> 00:27:42,077
Your intelligence impresses me.
523
00:27:42,110 --> 00:27:45,983
Your sense of humor amuses me.
524
00:27:46,117 --> 00:27:49,469
And there's something else I
can't quite put my finger on.
525
00:27:52,328 --> 00:27:54,498
- I'm plus-sized?
- That's it!
526
00:27:54,523 --> 00:27:57,700
I love your shape because
there's so much of you.
527
00:27:57,725 --> 00:27:58,821
The more you are,
528
00:27:58,846 --> 00:28:00,631
the more there is
for me to love.
529
00:28:00,882 --> 00:28:02,884
This doesn't feel like love.
530
00:28:02,909 --> 00:28:04,071
Blood is life.
531
00:28:04,096 --> 00:28:06,402
It fills us with power.
532
00:28:06,427 --> 00:28:08,789
In my recent experience,
533
00:28:09,116 --> 00:28:11,899
love is like blood.
534
00:28:12,402 --> 00:28:14,317
It fills me up.
535
00:28:14,561 --> 00:28:15,911
Drink.
536
00:28:15,998 --> 00:28:17,129
Drink until you're full.
537
00:28:23,832 --> 00:28:26,138
♪ Pump, pump it up ♪
538
00:28:26,163 --> 00:28:28,426
♪ Pump, pump it up ♪
539
00:28:28,575 --> 00:28:29,968
♪ Pump, pump it up ♪
540
00:28:29,993 --> 00:28:31,212
♪ Party on the block, bro ♪
541
00:28:31,237 --> 00:28:33,239
♪ Pump it up ♪
542
00:28:33,264 --> 00:28:35,483
♪ Pump, pump it up ♪
543
00:28:35,508 --> 00:28:37,988
♪ Pump, pump it up ♪
544
00:28:38,013 --> 00:28:40,059
♪ Pump, pump it up ♪
545
00:28:40,084 --> 00:28:43,783
Monogamy is for
humans, not vampires.
546
00:28:43,808 --> 00:28:48,211
Why should I limit myself when
I've got the perfect setup?
547
00:28:50,154 --> 00:28:52,966
She gives me blood,
she gives me kisses.
548
00:28:52,991 --> 00:28:54,969
Put 'em together...
549
00:28:55,079 --> 00:28:57,037
The perfect woman.
550
00:28:57,061 --> 00:28:58,759
Sucking and...,
551
00:28:58,784 --> 00:29:00,916
that is the vampire life.
552
00:29:00,941 --> 00:29:02,595
Are we gonna work out or what?
553
00:29:02,620 --> 00:29:04,535
Sure, Reggie.
554
00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:06,509
We'll work out because
the damn Assessment
555
00:29:06,534 --> 00:29:09,232
is right around the corner,
and if you fail that,
556
00:29:09,405 --> 00:29:10,929
you have all the
time in the world
557
00:29:10,954 --> 00:29:12,738
'cause you'll be dead,
558
00:29:12,863 --> 00:29:14,082
and I'll be dead too.
559
00:29:14,107 --> 00:29:16,065
Maybe I might surprise you.
560
00:29:18,873 --> 00:29:21,005
Baby.
561
00:29:21,030 --> 00:29:23,729
- Lemme get the door.
562
00:29:23,754 --> 00:29:26,931
♪ La, la, la,
la, ooh, la, la ♪
563
00:29:26,956 --> 00:29:29,785
♪ Nothing in this
world is for free ♪
564
00:29:29,810 --> 00:29:31,537
♪ You always pay a price ♪
565
00:29:31,562 --> 00:29:33,520
No! Missy, you have two
guns! That's not fair.
566
00:29:33,545 --> 00:29:35,678
There's no rules! Suck it!
567
00:29:35,874 --> 00:29:37,527
Ah, no, no, no, no, no, no!
568
00:29:37,568 --> 00:29:39,482
Skrrt... shit!
569
00:29:39,704 --> 00:29:42,054
♪ Love ♪
570
00:29:42,079 --> 00:29:43,515
♪ Love is a drug ♪
571
00:29:43,593 --> 00:29:46,030
♪ ♪
572
00:29:46,055 --> 00:29:48,449
♪ Love ♪
573
00:29:48,474 --> 00:29:51,433
♪ Love is a drug ♪
574
00:29:51,563 --> 00:29:53,269
♪ Love is a drug ♪
575
00:29:53,294 --> 00:29:55,644
♪ ♪
576
00:29:55,669 --> 00:29:58,063
♪ Love ♪
577
00:29:58,088 --> 00:29:59,750
♪ Love is a drug ♪
578
00:29:59,841 --> 00:30:01,712
♪ Love ♪
579
00:30:01,737 --> 00:30:04,479
♪ Love is a drug ♪
all: ♪ Love is a drug ♪
580
00:30:04,504 --> 00:30:07,594
♪ Love is a drug ♪
581
00:30:07,619 --> 00:30:09,478
♪ Love is a drug ♪
582
00:30:09,546 --> 00:30:11,548
♪ ♪
583
00:30:11,635 --> 00:30:13,228
We should go out.
584
00:30:13,253 --> 00:30:16,462
I think I told you about
my sunlight allergy, right?
585
00:30:17,837 --> 00:30:19,024
Is that a new umbrella?
586
00:30:19,367 --> 00:30:21,587
What happened to your parasol?
587
00:30:21,660 --> 00:30:23,313
I lost it.
588
00:30:23,338 --> 00:30:26,353
We could go to the park
or our favorite bench.
589
00:30:26,378 --> 00:30:28,291
We have night shifts, so...
590
00:30:28,316 --> 00:30:30,954
We could, but I'm just so happy
591
00:30:30,979 --> 00:30:32,259
being here with you.
592
00:30:32,284 --> 00:30:35,030
Except for all the times
you mysteriously dash off
593
00:30:35,055 --> 00:30:36,404
and leave me.
594
00:30:36,429 --> 00:30:38,301
I have a very strict
workout regimen
595
00:30:38,326 --> 00:30:42,069
that requires all my
focus and dedication.
596
00:30:48,179 --> 00:30:50,704
Whoa! Reginald, are you okay?
597
00:30:50,729 --> 00:30:51,904
I'll be right back.
598
00:31:00,727 --> 00:31:02,816
What's wrong?
599
00:31:14,659 --> 00:31:16,181
Hello, Todd.
600
00:31:16,462 --> 00:31:18,290
Every time I go for a run,
601
00:31:18,659 --> 00:31:20,861
I end up running here,
602
00:31:21,247 --> 00:31:23,162
but I don't know why I do that.
603
00:31:23,475 --> 00:31:25,086
That feeling will fade.
604
00:31:25,111 --> 00:31:26,221
Trust me.
605
00:31:26,257 --> 00:31:28,814
I trust you more than
any person I've ever met,
606
00:31:30,163 --> 00:31:33,243
which is weird, right?
607
00:31:33,268 --> 00:31:36,097
I mean, I don't
even know your name.
608
00:31:36,122 --> 00:31:37,732
Maurice.
609
00:31:37,757 --> 00:31:40,325
Hi, Maurice.
610
00:31:40,724 --> 00:31:42,510
Goodbye, Todd.
611
00:31:42,674 --> 00:31:46,112
Uh, can I come in, please?
612
00:31:46,332 --> 00:31:48,073
No.
613
00:31:48,098 --> 00:31:50,307
Not today. Not in your
current condition.
614
00:31:50,332 --> 00:31:51,637
Next time I go for a run,
615
00:31:51,662 --> 00:31:53,621
I'm gonna end up
running right back here,
616
00:31:53,646 --> 00:31:55,343
no matter what I try to do.
617
00:31:55,656 --> 00:31:56,962
I know.
618
00:32:08,926 --> 00:32:10,058
What?
619
00:32:20,167 --> 00:32:21,255
Is this weird?
620
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:23,108
I bathe multiple times a day.
621
00:32:23,133 --> 00:32:24,472
No, I mean us.
622
00:32:24,497 --> 00:32:27,413
Us is perfect.
Don't you think?
623
00:32:27,438 --> 00:32:29,266
Well, I don't really
know anything about you
624
00:32:29,291 --> 00:32:33,034
except that Angela hired you
to kill me, but you didn't.
625
00:32:33,059 --> 00:32:35,714
What do you wanna know
about me, roundish lover?
626
00:32:35,853 --> 00:32:38,042
Something unbelievable.
627
00:32:38,459 --> 00:32:42,637
I have 222 secrets.
628
00:32:45,532 --> 00:32:46,838
Tell me one of them.
629
00:32:52,517 --> 00:32:54,693
Once upon a time,
630
00:32:54,718 --> 00:32:57,895
a fearsome vampire,
Logan, decided he was made
631
00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:00,574
for the bigger and
bestest things,
632
00:33:00,772 --> 00:33:03,339
but his great rival, Abraham,
633
00:33:03,364 --> 00:33:07,064
held the utmost deacon
of the Americas.
634
00:33:07,089 --> 00:33:09,464
Abraham was a vampire of legend,
635
00:33:09,489 --> 00:33:11,360
oldest of our kind,
636
00:33:11,385 --> 00:33:15,085
one possessed of
unimaginable powers.
637
00:33:15,110 --> 00:33:18,940
Abraham could turn a
vampire back to human,
638
00:33:19,161 --> 00:33:21,554
like a God or an angel might do.
639
00:33:23,772 --> 00:33:26,644
Logan hired me and
my partner, Stanley,
640
00:33:26,669 --> 00:33:29,893
to find Abraham and kill
him deader than dirt.
641
00:33:29,918 --> 00:33:32,229
Stanley was vicious.
642
00:33:32,836 --> 00:33:34,292
And kind.
643
00:33:34,977 --> 00:33:37,438
He had white patch in his hair,
and nobody called him "Patchy,"
644
00:33:37,462 --> 00:33:38,599
and that's sad.
645
00:33:40,780 --> 00:33:43,652
We found Abraham in
a place far from here
646
00:33:43,677 --> 00:33:45,984
called Spokane, Washington.
647
00:33:46,009 --> 00:33:49,253
Stanley went ahead,
as was our custom.
648
00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:54,330
He was truly the best
killer-diller of all.
649
00:33:56,313 --> 00:33:59,839
But Stanley was lost that day
650
00:33:59,910 --> 00:34:02,135
and never found.
651
00:34:02,869 --> 00:34:05,106
And I was trapped by
phantoms, and ghosts,
652
00:34:05,131 --> 00:34:08,003
and everything upside down,
653
00:34:09,174 --> 00:34:10,959
so I ran away from
that haunted place
654
00:34:10,984 --> 00:34:13,495
as fast as my feet could run.
655
00:34:14,464 --> 00:34:16,214
Phantoms and ghosts?
656
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:18,596
I was afraid.
657
00:34:20,123 --> 00:34:22,691
I've never been afraid a
single time since that day,
658
00:34:22,716 --> 00:34:26,285
but I will never
forget the feeling.
659
00:34:29,044 --> 00:34:30,437
On the plus side,
660
00:34:30,462 --> 00:34:32,899
Abraham was never
heard from again,
661
00:34:32,924 --> 00:34:35,013
and Logan took his council seat,
662
00:34:35,038 --> 00:34:38,476
and maybe Stanley did
not die for nothing.
663
00:34:38,945 --> 00:34:40,512
The end.
664
00:34:46,804 --> 00:34:51,026
I have 221 secrets.
665
00:34:53,108 --> 00:34:55,328
What's the sitch with Reginald?
666
00:34:55,353 --> 00:34:57,433
He's supposed to be here.
I don't know what happened.
667
00:34:59,553 --> 00:35:01,555
All right, there you go. Cheers.
668
00:35:01,580 --> 00:35:03,254
Have you ever felt like
something happened to you,
669
00:35:03,278 --> 00:35:04,943
but it didn't happen
at the same time,
670
00:35:04,968 --> 00:35:07,275
but you have no idea
why you feel like that?
671
00:35:07,300 --> 00:35:08,605
All the time.
672
00:35:10,344 --> 00:35:13,120
I would very much like to
purchase a delicious slushy
673
00:35:13,145 --> 00:35:14,581
for my new lover.
674
00:35:23,989 --> 00:35:26,992
Does your new lover
have a favorite flavor?
675
00:35:27,032 --> 00:35:29,556
As a matter of fact,
beverage servant,
676
00:35:29,581 --> 00:35:32,454
nothing tickles his taste buds
like a Pineapple Surprise.
677
00:35:51,017 --> 00:35:52,497
Hey, Sarah!
678
00:35:52,584 --> 00:35:53,890
You read my mind.
679
00:35:53,915 --> 00:35:55,308
How did you do that?
680
00:35:55,333 --> 00:35:57,422
Three is truly the
happiest number.
681
00:35:57,447 --> 00:35:59,048
In case you're
wondering, I'm referring
682
00:35:59,073 --> 00:36:00,443
to the three-way
we're about to have...
683
00:36:00,467 --> 00:36:02,026
You, me, and Reginald.
684
00:36:02,051 --> 00:36:03,638
And if that's not the
stairway to heaven,
685
00:36:03,662 --> 00:36:05,926
I don't know what Page
and Plant were thinking.
686
00:36:13,388 --> 00:36:14,737
No. No, wait.
687
00:36:14,824 --> 00:36:15,999
Sarah, wait!
688
00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:20,159
Well, that's not what
I had in mind at all.
689
00:36:24,225 --> 00:36:25,791
Please, Sarah, wait.
690
00:36:25,878 --> 00:36:26,966
I can explain.
691
00:36:26,991 --> 00:36:28,487
Leave me alone.
692
00:36:28,512 --> 00:36:29,885
But it's not what it looks like.
693
00:36:29,910 --> 00:36:31,457
I... I mean, it's partially
what it looks like,
694
00:36:31,481 --> 00:36:32,691
but it's not as bad as it seems.
695
00:36:32,715 --> 00:36:35,109
I knew something was wrong,
696
00:36:35,134 --> 00:36:37,549
but God damn it, Reginald,
I didn't even consider...
697
00:36:37,574 --> 00:36:39,983
No, we can turn back time, okay?
698
00:36:40,008 --> 00:36:42,010
I can make this go away.
699
00:36:42,035 --> 00:36:44,559
What the hell are
you talking about?
700
00:36:44,584 --> 00:36:46,891
Pretend? I would never...
701
00:36:46,916 --> 00:36:48,700
Listen to me!
702
00:36:48,725 --> 00:36:50,495
Forget what you saw
in the hotel room.
703
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:52,391
Forget Nikki. Forget me.
704
00:36:52,416 --> 00:36:54,143
You never came here.
705
00:36:54,589 --> 00:36:56,667
You left work,
but you came back,
706
00:36:56,692 --> 00:36:58,215
and you have no memory
of where you were
707
00:36:58,239 --> 00:37:01,299
until you see me again, and
everything will be wonderful.
708
00:37:02,975 --> 00:37:05,499
Sure, Reginald.
709
00:37:05,524 --> 00:37:07,096
I can do that.
710
00:37:07,121 --> 00:37:10,037
I'll forget what I
saw in the hotel room.
711
00:37:10,405 --> 00:37:12,755
I'll forget Nikki.
712
00:37:12,780 --> 00:37:14,565
I'll go back to work,
and I'll have no memory
713
00:37:14,604 --> 00:37:18,276
of where I was until
you see me again,
714
00:37:18,301 --> 00:37:20,347
and everything
will be wonderful.
715
00:37:21,441 --> 00:37:23,909
But most of all...
716
00:37:24,448 --> 00:37:26,323
I'll forget you.
717
00:37:27,288 --> 00:37:28,506
Wait, Sarah. Wait.
718
00:37:28,531 --> 00:37:30,403
Aah!
719
00:37:30,428 --> 00:37:32,343
Where did you get that bracelet?
720
00:37:32,368 --> 00:37:33,978
Maurice gave it to me.
721
00:37:34,003 --> 00:37:35,815
Hey, Sarah.
722
00:37:36,347 --> 00:37:38,044
What are you doing here?
723
00:37:38,069 --> 00:37:40,071
I've got a very important
appointment with Nikki.
724
00:37:40,095 --> 00:37:42,706
She's a vampire too.
Did you know that?
725
00:37:43,504 --> 00:37:45,985
Dude, you look like someone
beat your dog to death
726
00:37:46,010 --> 00:37:47,229
with your cat.
727
00:37:50,277 --> 00:37:51,452
Hey, Nikki.
728
00:37:53,430 --> 00:37:55,258
Nikki, wait up.
Where are you going?
729
00:37:55,283 --> 00:37:56,542
When I make a mistake,
730
00:37:56,567 --> 00:37:58,121
I don't fail to make the
biggest one possible,
731
00:37:58,145 --> 00:37:59,730
and I like that about myself.
732
00:37:59,755 --> 00:38:00,871
It keeps things interesting,
733
00:38:00,895 --> 00:38:04,107
but you lied to me,
and you lied to her!
734
00:38:04,132 --> 00:38:06,700
You are a bad toy.
735
00:38:06,725 --> 00:38:09,380
You are not my dream lover.
736
00:38:09,405 --> 00:38:13,456
You are not the song
the angels sing.
737
00:38:14,078 --> 00:38:16,558
Maurice Miller was
right about you.
738
00:38:16,583 --> 00:38:18,281
You're not one of us.
739
00:38:18,531 --> 00:38:20,104
Not yet.
740
00:38:20,745 --> 00:38:22,310
You're still full of human,
741
00:38:22,335 --> 00:38:24,987
and I have zero tolerance
policy for that.
742
00:38:25,012 --> 00:38:26,155
I eat humans.
743
00:38:26,180 --> 00:38:27,698
I do not let them eat me.
744
00:38:28,045 --> 00:38:31,048
Also, I'm bored
745
00:38:31,073 --> 00:38:32,857
and do not wanna play
with you anymore.
746
00:38:32,882 --> 00:38:34,706
Wait. You can't just go.
747
00:38:34,731 --> 00:38:35,993
Not now. Please.
748
00:38:38,630 --> 00:38:40,240
I'm sorry, little human.
749
00:38:40,265 --> 00:38:42,311
I can't help you.
750
00:38:42,336 --> 00:38:44,816
But maybe that's
best for everyone.
751
00:38:47,279 --> 00:38:48,585
What did you do?
752
00:38:48,664 --> 00:38:50,405
You ruined everything.
753
00:38:50,430 --> 00:38:52,432
- It doesn't matter.
- Nikki was gonna help me.
754
00:38:52,457 --> 00:38:54,264
She was gonna turn
me into a vampire
755
00:38:54,289 --> 00:38:55,420
so I can fight evil.
756
00:38:55,445 --> 00:38:56,968
Claire, stop!
757
00:38:56,993 --> 00:38:58,691
Look at me.
758
00:38:58,716 --> 00:39:00,587
Is this the life you want?
759
00:39:00,612 --> 00:39:02,141
How does eternity
look to you now?
760
00:39:02,165 --> 00:39:03,698
Because trust me,
761
00:39:04,222 --> 00:39:05,962
it's not all it's
worked up to be.
762
00:39:06,299 --> 00:39:08,824
It's blood, and hunger,
763
00:39:08,911 --> 00:39:12,503
and you have no... idea
what it feels like.
764
00:39:12,831 --> 00:39:14,702
And right now, the
last thing I need
765
00:39:14,727 --> 00:39:17,253
is a disappointed fangirl who
didn't get fangs for Christmas.
766
00:39:19,740 --> 00:39:21,401
Asshole.
767
00:39:31,977 --> 00:39:34,440
I can't be out.
768
00:39:35,222 --> 00:39:36,832
There's got to be
blood somewhere.
769
00:39:46,940 --> 00:39:49,744
Dude, where the
hell have you been?
770
00:39:50,568 --> 00:39:52,222
Are you drunk?
771
00:39:52,246 --> 00:39:53,812
God.
772
00:39:53,931 --> 00:39:55,281
No, no, no, no, wait.
773
00:39:55,312 --> 00:39:57,052
Cheeseburger overdose.
774
00:39:57,125 --> 00:39:59,393
Yeah, it's entirely
possible for you.
775
00:39:59,418 --> 00:40:00,855
You know what you are?
776
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:02,339
You're a disease.
777
00:40:02,717 --> 00:40:04,675
You're making everybody
sick around you.
778
00:40:05,051 --> 00:40:07,073
Note to self:
779
00:40:07,112 --> 00:40:08,917
take Reginald's Employee
of the Month photo
780
00:40:08,942 --> 00:40:09,892
and throw it in the trash.
781
00:40:09,917 --> 00:40:11,397
Listen to me!
782
00:40:11,422 --> 00:40:13,424
I'm gonna drink your blood,
783
00:40:13,449 --> 00:40:15,776
and that fills you
with joy and happiness.
784
00:40:29,844 --> 00:40:31,400
Todd?
785
00:40:31,619 --> 00:40:32,925
!...!...!
786
00:40:37,512 --> 00:40:39,165
Hello? Help!
787
00:40:39,222 --> 00:40:40,939
Something horrible happened
at the Slushy Shack!
788
00:40:40,963 --> 00:40:43,270
Hurry! I... I need your help!
789
00:40:54,436 --> 00:40:55,436
You!
790
00:40:55,461 --> 00:40:56,706
I could've handled this.
791
00:40:56,731 --> 00:40:57,964
I would have.
792
00:40:57,989 --> 00:40:59,051
You decided to teach me a lesson
793
00:40:59,075 --> 00:41:00,440
for some... reason.
794
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:03,078
You opened your
big mouth to Nikki
795
00:41:03,103 --> 00:41:05,464
and you give Sarah
that bracelet.
796
00:41:05,617 --> 00:41:07,402
You turn me,
797
00:41:07,731 --> 00:41:09,950
and then you wreck me.
798
00:41:10,006 --> 00:41:11,443
Why?
799
00:41:11,468 --> 00:41:14,210
Why would you do that to me?
800
00:41:14,351 --> 00:41:16,048
Wasn't I good enough for you?
801
00:41:16,073 --> 00:41:18,034
Wasn't I a good enough
man for you to trust?
802
00:41:23,649 --> 00:41:26,050
I lost Sarah.
803
00:41:26,618 --> 00:41:28,533
I lost Claire.
804
00:41:28,582 --> 00:41:30,643
I lost Nikki.
805
00:41:31,066 --> 00:41:33,112
I killed Todd.
806
00:41:35,205 --> 00:41:38,426
I'm a liar and an asshole
807
00:41:38,451 --> 00:41:40,315
and a murderer,
808
00:41:41,904 --> 00:41:43,819
but that's all on you.
809
00:41:46,795 --> 00:41:53,802
♪ ♪
810
00:41:54,053 --> 00:41:57,141
♪ You're pretty
when you sleep ♪
811
00:41:57,166 --> 00:41:59,908
♪ Like frozen memories ♪
812
00:41:59,933 --> 00:42:02,675
♪ I hold inside my mind ♪
813
00:42:02,700 --> 00:42:05,572
♪ When I can't
sleep at night ♪
814
00:42:05,597 --> 00:42:08,208
♪ I wanna say goodbye ♪
815
00:42:08,233 --> 00:42:13,543
♪ But if I do, you'll cry ♪
816
00:42:13,568 --> 00:42:14,961
♪ ♪
817
00:42:15,115 --> 00:42:19,902
♪ Please don't cry ♪
818
00:42:19,927 --> 00:42:21,277
♪ ♪
819
00:42:21,325 --> 00:42:24,023
♪ I think ♪
820
00:42:24,048 --> 00:42:28,411
♪ I'm gonna ♪
821
00:42:28,436 --> 00:42:32,701
♪ Cry ♪
822
00:42:32,726 --> 00:42:38,340
♪ I'm starting over ♪
823
00:42:38,365 --> 00:42:41,411
♪ Tonight ♪
824
00:42:41,436 --> 00:42:43,699
♪ Oh ♪
825
00:42:46,169 --> 00:42:51,110
♪ Anything and everything ♪
826
00:42:51,135 --> 00:42:52,961
♪ I'm thinking things ♪
827
00:42:52,986 --> 00:42:56,529
♪ That I should not think ♪
828
00:42:56,554 --> 00:43:02,951
♪ Oh, anything ♪
829
00:43:03,101 --> 00:43:05,103
♪ ♪
56762
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