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1
00:00:41,300 --> 00:00:43,570
Hello, boys.Agh.
2
00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:45,110
Someone's here to see you.
3
00:00:45,140 --> 00:00:46,940
Really?
4
00:00:47,060 --> 00:00:48,470
It's Gibby!
5
00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:50,300
I am Gibby.
6
00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:53,990
Er, hi, Gibby.
7
00:00:54,020 --> 00:00:55,820
Well, come in, come in.
8
00:00:57,740 --> 00:00:59,540
Can you believe it? It's Gibby.
9
00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:00,950
You are the Jonny?
10
00:01:00,980 --> 00:01:02,390
Er, yup.
11
00:01:02,420 --> 00:01:05,650
And you are the Adam.
Or just "Adam".
12
00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:07,430
I am the Gibby.
13
00:01:07,460 --> 00:01:09,230
OK.
14
00:01:09,260 --> 00:01:11,030
What an amazing surprise, eh, boys?
15
00:01:11,060 --> 00:01:13,550
Yes, it would be if we...
16
00:01:13,580 --> 00:01:15,110
UNDER HIS BREATH:
..knew who she was.
17
00:01:15,140 --> 00:01:16,910
What? Don't be silly.
18
00:01:16,940 --> 00:01:18,740
It's Gibby.
19
00:01:19,220 --> 00:01:21,020
To them I am a mystery.
20
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:22,610
Oh.
21
00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:25,010
Oh, Gibby?
22
00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:27,350
Oh, why were you
so horrible to Gibby?
23
00:01:27,380 --> 00:01:28,790
What?Who's Gibby?
24
00:01:28,820 --> 00:01:30,230
I am Gibby.
25
00:01:30,260 --> 00:01:32,750
Who, is she?
She's your bloody au pair.
26
00:01:32,780 --> 00:01:35,150
So, we have an au pair now, do we?
I'll get the potty.
27
00:01:35,180 --> 00:01:37,430
Not now, stupid, your old au pair.
28
00:01:37,460 --> 00:01:39,730
She's come to visit.Old au pair?
29
00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:43,190
Yes, you were four,
and Jonny was a baby.
30
00:01:43,220 --> 00:01:45,020
From Switzerland? Liked animals?
31
00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:47,890
Used to cry quite a lot.
32
00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,510
The memory of me, it has vanished.
33
00:01:50,540 --> 00:01:54,380
What? Of course the memory
of you hasn't vanished.
34
00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:59,540
BOTH:The memory of you
hasn't vanished.
35
00:02:00,740 --> 00:02:02,540
There we are.
36
00:02:04,580 --> 00:02:06,110
I am Gibby.
37
00:02:06,140 --> 00:02:07,910
Oh, my God.
38
00:02:07,940 --> 00:02:09,740
Come though, darling.
39
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:12,590
Well, did they remember her?
40
00:02:12,620 --> 00:02:16,310
GIBBY CRIES
41
00:02:16,340 --> 00:02:17,750
She seems stable.
42
00:02:17,780 --> 00:02:19,580
Oh, why did you have to
say anything?
43
00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:21,470
What?
44
00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:23,300
KNOCKS ON DOOR
Gibby?
45
00:02:23,420 --> 00:02:26,510
Excuse me,
I am using the facilities.
46
00:02:26,540 --> 00:02:28,210
She's using the facilities?
47
00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:30,040
URINATING
48
00:02:30,260 --> 00:02:32,060
She's using the facilities.
49
00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:38,030
Well, they're obviously
excellent facilities.
50
00:02:38,060 --> 00:02:39,860
She's still in there?Shhh.
51
00:02:40,100 --> 00:02:42,830
But who just turns up?
Stop it, will you?
52
00:02:42,860 --> 00:02:45,710
So, how long's she staying?
Five bleeding nights.
53
00:02:45,740 --> 00:02:47,510
All right, Martin.
54
00:02:47,540 --> 00:02:49,340
Ah, five nights
with a total nutjob.
55
00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:51,250
She's not a nutjob.
56
00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:53,510
No, he said "total nutjob".
MARTIN LAUGHS
57
00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:55,310
Martin.
58
00:02:55,340 --> 00:02:57,140
She's just a little emotional.
59
00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:59,510
Gibby was always a little
emotional, wasn't she, Martin?
60
00:02:59,540 --> 00:03:00,950
A little emotional?
61
00:03:00,980 --> 00:03:03,590
Oh, she was so sweet,
she used to love it here.
62
00:03:03,620 --> 00:03:06,230
And you know, she's already
asked about having a cream tea.
63
00:03:06,260 --> 00:03:08,690
JACKIE LAUGHS
Only 40 bloody times.
64
00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:11,090
Sorry, having a cream tea?
65
00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:13,670
What? Like scones and cream and jam?
66
00:03:13,700 --> 00:03:15,250
Yeah. Don't you remember?
67
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:17,080
Gibby used to go to the
hotel round the corner,
68
00:03:17,180 --> 00:03:18,830
and have a cream tea every day.
69
00:03:18,860 --> 00:03:20,150
Every day she had a cream tea?
70
00:03:20,180 --> 00:03:22,450
And you let this woman look
after your children, did you?
71
00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:24,230
For a whole year.Very good.
72
00:03:24,260 --> 00:03:26,770
While she worked her way
through 365 cream teas.
73
00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:28,430
Stop it.
74
00:03:28,460 --> 00:03:30,950
She just tried one once,
and was, you know, hooked.
75
00:03:30,980 --> 00:03:33,230
Total nutjob.
76
00:03:33,260 --> 00:03:34,930
Shut up.
77
00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:37,430
You used to adore her,
Adam, adore her.
78
00:03:37,460 --> 00:03:39,110
All right.I return.
79
00:03:39,140 --> 00:03:41,510
Oh. There you are, love.
Everything OK now?
80
00:03:41,540 --> 00:03:44,150
Yes. The facilities,
they are clean.
81
00:03:44,180 --> 00:03:45,710
Oh. Great.
82
00:03:45,740 --> 00:03:47,270
I sit in the vicinity of the boys?
83
00:03:47,300 --> 00:03:49,100
Um.
84
00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:52,430
The vicinity.
85
00:03:52,460 --> 00:03:56,300
Aw, Gibby and our little babies.
86
00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:58,340
Smile!
87
00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:00,280
CLICK
Mum.Ah, lovely.
88
00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:02,030
CLICK
Mum.Ah, lovely.
89
00:04:02,060 --> 00:04:03,410
Aw.
90
00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:04,910
And now we go for the cream tea?
91
00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:05,990
Christ.
92
00:04:06,020 --> 00:04:08,390
Er, not now, Gibby, OK?
93
00:04:08,420 --> 00:04:10,790
But, you are saying the old hotel,
94
00:04:10,820 --> 00:04:13,070
it is still providing
the cream teas?
95
00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:15,890
Yes, but we'll get a cream
tea another day.
96
00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:17,510
Oh.
97
00:04:17,540 --> 00:04:19,340
Gibby is very sad.
98
00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:23,750
Um. Gibby's also visiting
some of the other families
99
00:04:23,780 --> 00:04:25,330
she worked for all those years ago.
100
00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:26,630
Isn't that...Weird?
101
00:04:26,660 --> 00:04:29,750
Yes, I am performing all the visits.
102
00:04:29,780 --> 00:04:32,750
The family Sullivan, they is nice.
103
00:04:32,780 --> 00:04:35,990
The family Goodman,
they is very nice.
104
00:04:36,020 --> 00:04:37,670
Ooh.
105
00:04:37,700 --> 00:04:41,540
The family Carter,
they is the best family.
106
00:04:42,260 --> 00:04:44,050
Um, right.
107
00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:45,880
But they is dead.
108
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:47,410
But they is dead.
109
00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:49,240
DOORBELL RINGS
I'm getting that.
110
00:04:49,460 --> 00:04:51,260
What he said.Yup.
111
00:04:52,100 --> 00:04:54,610
Hello, boys and man.
112
00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:56,440
ALL:Hi.All right, Jim?
113
00:04:56,660 --> 00:04:59,630
No, I'm not all right, actually.
114
00:04:59,660 --> 00:05:01,460
Really?I'm wounded.
115
00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:03,110
JONNY AND ADAM:Wounded?
116
00:05:03,140 --> 00:05:04,790
Oh, God, Jim, come in.
117
00:05:04,820 --> 00:05:05,990
Thank you, Martin.
118
00:05:06,020 --> 00:05:08,270
Come no, Milson. Get up there.
119
00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:09,590
Oh, uh, uh.
120
00:05:09,620 --> 00:05:11,420
That's it.
121
00:05:11,900 --> 00:05:13,330
Where's your wound?
122
00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:15,160
Here.
123
00:05:17,060 --> 00:05:18,830
That's your wound?
124
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:21,170
I don't have any plasters you see.
125
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:24,110
And what if a dirty microbe
got inside the wound
126
00:05:24,140 --> 00:05:27,830
and travelled all
the way down to my organs?
127
00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:29,270
Your organs?
128
00:05:29,300 --> 00:05:31,100
Yes, my kidneys, my livers.
129
00:05:31,340 --> 00:05:33,110
You only have one liver, Jim.
130
00:05:33,140 --> 00:05:35,630
I only have one liver now?
131
00:05:35,660 --> 00:05:37,460
Everything all right?
132
00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:39,320
Jim's lost one of his livers.
Huh?
133
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,870
Do you have a plaster, Jackie?
134
00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:44,870
I have a terrible, gaping wound.
135
00:05:44,900 --> 00:05:47,150
God.Jonny, get a plaster.
136
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,490
Go on, Puss-face.Ugh.Jonny.
137
00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:52,190
A man und a dog,
they is in the house.
138
00:05:52,220 --> 00:05:54,020
MILSON WHINES
139
00:05:55,220 --> 00:05:57,020
Um, Jim, this is Gibby.
140
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:00,230
It's Gibby.
141
00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:02,060
The dog, it is large.
142
00:06:02,300 --> 00:06:04,100
Is it?
143
00:06:04,820 --> 00:06:07,090
Um, Gibby's from Switzerland.
144
00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:09,590
In Switzerland, the dogs
of the mountain,
145
00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:11,410
they is as large as wolves.
146
00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:13,240
Wolves?
147
00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:16,430
Er, Gibby was our au pair.
148
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:18,710
A pear?Right.
149
00:06:18,740 --> 00:06:20,030
Auf wiedersehen.
150
00:06:20,060 --> 00:06:21,830
JACKIE: Er, thank you.
151
00:06:21,860 --> 00:06:24,110
Plaster.Thanks, Bobble.
152
00:06:24,140 --> 00:06:26,450
Jim, do you want me
to do it for you, or?
153
00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:28,280
Can Gibby do my plaster?
154
00:06:28,940 --> 00:06:30,740
OK.
155
00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:37,100
One, two...Ah, ah!..it is done.
156
00:06:37,220 --> 00:06:38,630
Good boy.
157
00:06:38,660 --> 00:06:40,210
Good girl.
158
00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:42,040
Und now I must use the facilities.
159
00:06:45,740 --> 00:06:49,190
Jackie, might I
also use the facilities?
160
00:06:49,220 --> 00:06:51,020
Jim, Gibby's using the loo.
161
00:06:51,140 --> 00:06:52,940
URINATING
162
00:06:53,060 --> 00:06:54,860
Yes, Gibby's using the loo.
163
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:56,920
Yes, Gibby's using the loo.
164
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:58,790
Goodbye, Jim.
165
00:06:58,820 --> 00:07:00,620
Oh, yes, come on Milson.
166
00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:02,680
Oh, yes, come on Milson.
167
00:07:03,740 --> 00:07:05,990
Yes, Switzerland...
168
00:07:06,020 --> 00:07:08,270
Ugh.Has Professor Bonkers gone?
169
00:07:08,300 --> 00:07:09,830
Martin.What?
170
00:07:09,860 --> 00:07:11,660
Jim fancies Gibby.
171
00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:14,360
Shit on it.
172
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:19,820
Can't we just start?Shhh.
173
00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:21,830
What's she still doing in there?
174
00:07:21,860 --> 00:07:23,660
Rebuilding the facilities?
MESSAGE TONE
175
00:07:23,780 --> 00:07:26,290
Oh, Jim, not again.
176
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:27,830
What's he want now?
177
00:07:27,860 --> 00:07:30,130
"Is Gibby warm enough in the house?"
178
00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:31,910
Seriously?
He met her for one minute.
179
00:07:31,940 --> 00:07:33,350
He's bloody obsessed with her.
180
00:07:33,380 --> 00:07:35,890
MESSAGE TONE
Oh.Another one?
181
00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:38,930
"Please ensure Gibby has easy
access to fresh water."
182
00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:40,760
Boys, get the hosepipe.
183
00:07:40,940 --> 00:07:42,740
Yeah, and strangle me with it.
JACKIE LAUGHS
184
00:07:42,980 --> 00:07:44,750
I return.
185
00:07:44,780 --> 00:07:46,580
Um, great.
186
00:07:46,940 --> 00:07:48,740
Everything OK now?
187
00:07:48,980 --> 00:07:51,410
Yes. My body, it is emptied.
188
00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:53,240
How nice.
189
00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:56,210
Right, tuck in, everyone.
JACKIE LAUGHS
190
00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:58,040
Ooh, and there's still about
900,000 potatoes,
191
00:07:58,220 --> 00:07:59,750
so don't be shy.
192
00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:01,580
Mm.
193
00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:03,590
That's it, Martin, don't be shy.
194
00:08:03,620 --> 00:08:05,420
Ow.
195
00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:09,470
Gibby, nice?
196
00:08:09,500 --> 00:08:10,790
Gibby is nice?
197
00:08:10,820 --> 00:08:12,620
Er, the food, do you like the taste?
198
00:08:12,740 --> 00:08:16,550
Mm, this is a difficult question.
199
00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:18,230
Really? Why?
200
00:08:18,260 --> 00:08:20,030
Because there is no taste.
201
00:08:20,060 --> 00:08:21,860
And you're staying here how long?
202
00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:23,630
For the five nights.
203
00:08:23,660 --> 00:08:25,460
Oh, yes, the five nights.
204
00:08:26,780 --> 00:08:29,270
Actually, Jackie, the
taste that is the best for me
205
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:31,100
is the taste of the cream tea.
206
00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:32,750
Bloody hell.
207
00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:36,530
You know, with the scone
and the cream.
208
00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:37,910
Um, yeah, love.
209
00:08:37,940 --> 00:08:40,210
And the jam of the
berries of the straw.
210
00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,040
Strawberry jam.
211
00:08:42,620 --> 00:08:45,110
So, we are getting the
cream tea now, ja?
212
00:08:45,140 --> 00:08:48,370
Now?Er, not now, Gibby,
OK? Maybe tomorrow?
213
00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:50,200
Hmmm?
214
00:08:52,820 --> 00:08:54,620
This is a tragedy.
215
00:08:55,700 --> 00:08:57,350
WHISPERS:Five nights.
216
00:08:57,380 --> 00:08:59,180
DOORBELL RINGS
Oh, Jim?Obviously.
217
00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:01,240
DOORBELL RINGS
Oh, Jim?Obviously.
218
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,730
Obviously.Hmmm?
219
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,510
Nothing. What do you want?
220
00:09:05,540 --> 00:09:07,340
Er.
221
00:09:09,140 --> 00:09:10,940
Great.
222
00:09:11,060 --> 00:09:13,330
Um, I must apologise,
223
00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:16,310
but I think I left
something in your house,
224
00:09:16,340 --> 00:09:19,090
you know, when I was here earlier.
225
00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:20,920
Really? What?
226
00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:23,270
How's Gibby?
227
00:09:23,300 --> 00:09:24,950
Erm, fine.
228
00:09:24,980 --> 00:09:27,250
What did you lose, Jim?
Where's Gibby?
229
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:29,630
She's in the dining room.
What did you lose?
230
00:09:29,660 --> 00:09:33,170
Yes, I lost it in the dining room.
231
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,990
No, you didn't lose
it in the dining room
232
00:09:36,020 --> 00:09:38,290
because you didn't go in
the dining room, remember?
233
00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:39,950
You were just here.
234
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:43,820
Yes, well, maybe the
thing that I lost...
235
00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:45,880
..it rolled all the way from here
236
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:47,960
..it rolled all the way from here
237
00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:50,390
into the dining room.
238
00:09:50,420 --> 00:09:54,260
OK, and the thing that you lost was?
239
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,490
A marble.Of course it was.
240
00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:00,230
Yes, it was a particularly
round marble
241
00:10:00,260 --> 00:10:05,270
because it rolled all the
way from here to remain...
242
00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:09,140
Jim?..here.
243
00:10:09,380 --> 00:10:11,180
Hello, all.Pissing heck.
244
00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:12,830
Oh, hi, Jim.
245
00:10:12,860 --> 00:10:14,510
Jim's lost a pretend marble.
246
00:10:14,540 --> 00:10:17,170
Pretend marble?Real marble.
247
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,000
Huh?
248
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:21,170
Hello...
249
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:22,790
..Gibby.
250
00:10:22,820 --> 00:10:24,370
Jim.
251
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:27,250
JIM WHINES AWKWARDLY
252
00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:29,030
Is that all, Jim, or..?
253
00:10:29,060 --> 00:10:30,770
Um, oh, yes.
254
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,270
Actually, no.
255
00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:35,870
There is something I need
to talk to Gibby about.
256
00:10:35,900 --> 00:10:39,470
Really?Um...
257
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:41,300
..Switzerland.
258
00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:43,340
Mm-hmm.
259
00:10:45,740 --> 00:10:47,540
Well, thanks, Jim, so
if you could...
260
00:10:47,780 --> 00:10:49,580
JIM WHINES AWKWARDLY
261
00:10:49,700 --> 00:10:51,500
Martin?
262
00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:54,950
Come on, Jim.
GIBBY LAUGHS
263
00:10:54,980 --> 00:10:56,780
Come on.
264
00:10:56,900 --> 00:10:58,700
Right.Argh.
265
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:00,760
Right.Argh.
266
00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:02,450
My God.
267
00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:04,690
Erm, sorry about him, Gibby.
268
00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:06,230
He is a nice man?
269
00:11:06,260 --> 00:11:09,350
Hm.Um.He has the fat legs?
270
00:11:09,380 --> 00:11:11,750
What?I'm sorry?Fat legs?
271
00:11:11,780 --> 00:11:14,990
Because the man I was with,
I am having to finish with him
272
00:11:15,020 --> 00:11:16,820
because he has the fat legs.
273
00:11:16,940 --> 00:11:18,740
So, normal reasons, then.
274
00:11:18,980 --> 00:11:21,350
Jackie, you think Jim
has the fat legs?
275
00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:23,180
Er, I wouldn't really
know that, love.
276
00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:25,240
Er, I wouldn't really
know that, love.
277
00:11:25,700 --> 00:11:27,500
GIBBY MOANS ANXIOUSLY
278
00:11:29,780 --> 00:11:31,580
Nearly broke my bleeding back.
279
00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:33,560
GIBBY MOANS
280
00:11:35,540 --> 00:11:37,340
Everything all right, there, Gibby?
281
00:11:37,460 --> 00:11:39,230
She's thinking about the fat legs.
282
00:11:39,260 --> 00:11:40,690
The fat legs?
283
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:43,070
Um.You OK, love?
284
00:11:43,100 --> 00:11:47,410
I am just remembering living in the
house with the Goodman family.
285
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:50,390
It is the happiest
time in the life for Gibby.
286
00:11:50,420 --> 00:11:52,790
Ah, sweetie.
287
00:11:52,820 --> 00:11:56,390
Sometimes I wished
you was my family.
288
00:11:56,420 --> 00:12:00,280
GIBBY SOBS
289
00:12:02,660 --> 00:12:05,630
Oh, come here, love.
290
00:12:05,660 --> 00:12:06,950
Don't be sad.
291
00:12:06,980 --> 00:12:09,710
CRIES:Ja-ck-ie!
292
00:12:09,740 --> 00:12:13,550
Jackie, there is only one
thing in the world that can make me
293
00:12:13,580 --> 00:12:15,380
feel happy in this moment.
294
00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:17,300
Really? And what's that?
295
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:22,790
I mean, it's ridiculous.
296
00:12:22,820 --> 00:12:25,190
Going for a cream tea
halfway through dinner?
297
00:12:25,220 --> 00:12:26,030
Who wants to bloody do that?
298
00:12:26,060 --> 00:12:27,470
I want to bloody do that.
299
00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:29,300
That's cos you'll eat
anything at any time.
300
00:12:29,420 --> 00:12:31,220
Yeah, is there anything
you won't eat, ever?
301
00:12:31,340 --> 00:12:34,450
Erm, wasps?
302
00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:37,070
Oh, hurry up with the facilities.
303
00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:38,900
You OK, Gibby?
304
00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:42,950
I am now re-emptied.
305
00:12:42,980 --> 00:12:44,780
Mazeltov. Let's go.
306
00:12:46,820 --> 00:12:49,190
Oh, crab. What are you doing there?
307
00:12:49,220 --> 00:12:53,060
Oh, just looking for my
very round marble.
308
00:12:54,860 --> 00:12:56,660
Hello, Gibby.
309
00:12:56,900 --> 00:12:58,700
Hello, the Jim.
310
00:12:58,960 --> 00:12:59,750
Hello, the Jim.
311
00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:02,150
Well, we're just
popping out now, so...
312
00:13:02,180 --> 00:13:05,030
Oh, where are you "popping" to?
313
00:13:05,060 --> 00:13:06,590
WHISPERS: Don't tell him.
314
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:09,350
We go to the old hotel Welmsley
to have the cream tea.
315
00:13:09,380 --> 00:13:12,110
You put cream in your tea?
316
00:13:12,140 --> 00:13:13,910
It's a creamy tea?
317
00:13:13,940 --> 00:13:15,740
Goodbye.
318
00:13:16,340 --> 00:13:18,140
Oh, I forget.
319
00:13:19,820 --> 00:13:21,620
Gibby.
320
00:13:24,980 --> 00:13:26,780
Oh-oh-oh!
321
00:13:30,380 --> 00:13:32,180
Hmmm.
322
00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:38,300
Gibby fancies Jim.
323
00:13:49,050 --> 00:13:50,820
Well, here we are.
324
00:13:50,850 --> 00:13:54,660
Oh, my mouth is very excited
for the taste of the cream tea.
325
00:13:54,690 --> 00:13:57,420
Is your mouths very excited
for the taste of the cream tea?
326
00:13:57,450 --> 00:14:00,420
Oh, yes,
we all have very excited mouths.
327
00:14:00,450 --> 00:14:02,940
And now I must use the facilities.
328
00:14:02,970 --> 00:14:04,140
Bloody hell.
329
00:14:04,170 --> 00:14:05,960
Can't we just dump her
here for five nights?
330
00:14:05,990 --> 00:14:07,400
What? The hotel or the car park?
331
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:08,940
Either will do.
332
00:14:08,970 --> 00:14:10,260
Come on.
333
00:14:10,290 --> 00:14:12,540
Wait. That's Bradley.
334
00:14:12,570 --> 00:14:13,380
Bradley?
335
00:14:13,410 --> 00:14:15,780
It is. I haven't seen him for about
40 years.
336
00:14:15,810 --> 00:14:17,610
We went to school together.
337
00:14:17,730 --> 00:14:19,400
Oh, God...
HE GASPS
338
00:14:19,430 --> 00:14:20,460
He's lost an arm.
339
00:14:20,490 --> 00:14:21,660
Poor Bradley.
340
00:14:21,690 --> 00:14:23,100
Oh, dear.
341
00:14:23,130 --> 00:14:24,930
Erm, excuse me.
342
00:14:25,050 --> 00:14:26,850
I don't believe it!
It's Martin bloody Goodman.
343
00:14:27,110 --> 00:14:28,740
I don't believe it!
It's Martin bloody Goodman.
344
00:14:28,770 --> 00:14:29,820
That's right!
345
00:14:29,850 --> 00:14:31,020
Hello, Bradley.
346
00:14:31,050 --> 00:14:32,100
Er, Neville.
347
00:14:32,130 --> 00:14:33,480
Oh, yes, I meant Neville.
348
00:14:33,510 --> 00:14:35,940
Erm, Shirley, this is Martin.
We went to school together.
349
00:14:35,970 --> 00:14:37,160
Lovely to meet you.
350
00:14:37,190 --> 00:14:38,990
Oh, yes, this is my family.
351
00:14:39,270 --> 00:14:39,780
Oh, yes, this is my family.
352
00:14:39,810 --> 00:14:41,100
The wife.
353
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,930
And, er, the children.
354
00:14:43,170 --> 00:14:44,220
Thank you.
355
00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:46,050
You know, lads, me and your dad got
up to no end of mischief at school.
356
00:14:46,310 --> 00:14:48,060
You know, lads, me and your dad got
up to no end of mischief at school.
357
00:14:48,090 --> 00:14:49,380
Really?Did you?
358
00:14:49,410 --> 00:14:53,000
Remember old Hasting's car,
when we let down all his tyres?
359
00:14:53,030 --> 00:14:54,540
What? No.
360
00:14:54,570 --> 00:14:55,620
Yeah, by the main hall.
361
00:14:55,650 --> 00:14:57,420
And we did Miss Gant's tyres.
362
00:14:57,450 --> 00:14:58,620
Did we?
363
00:14:58,650 --> 00:15:00,450
And Mr Dudley's tyres.
Don't you remember?Erm...
364
00:15:00,710 --> 00:15:01,500
And Mr Dudley's tyres.
Don't you remember?Erm...
365
00:15:01,530 --> 00:15:02,700
He doesn't have the best memory.
366
00:15:02,730 --> 00:15:04,530
He hasn't got a memory!
367
00:15:04,650 --> 00:15:08,220
Er, by the way, I'm so sorry.
When, er...
368
00:15:08,250 --> 00:15:10,050
When did that happen?
369
00:15:10,530 --> 00:15:12,330
When did what happen?
370
00:15:12,450 --> 00:15:13,620
Your arm.
371
00:15:13,650 --> 00:15:15,240
My arm?His arm?
372
00:15:15,270 --> 00:15:17,070
Are you joking or something?
373
00:15:17,190 --> 00:15:19,500
Sorry?I didn't have an arm when I
knew you.
374
00:15:19,530 --> 00:15:20,840
- Oh, God.
Didn't you?
375
00:15:20,870 --> 00:15:22,670
No. I was born without an arm.
376
00:15:22,950 --> 00:15:23,340
No. I was born without an arm.
377
00:15:23,370 --> 00:15:25,170
Shit. I must have forgot.
378
00:15:26,130 --> 00:15:27,930
Er...
379
00:15:28,650 --> 00:15:32,100
Um... Well, nice to have met you
all.
380
00:15:32,130 --> 00:15:33,540
Yeah, really nice.
381
00:15:33,570 --> 00:15:35,100
You've never had an arm?
382
00:15:35,130 --> 00:15:36,420
Goodbye, Martin.
383
00:15:36,450 --> 00:15:37,860
Yeah, see you, Bradley.
384
00:15:37,890 --> 00:15:39,690
Neville.
385
00:15:40,170 --> 00:15:41,960
Well, that wasn't the most
386
00:15:41,990 --> 00:15:44,340
embarrassing conversation of all
time.Yeah, well done, dad. 00:15:45,960
Fancy not remembering
he didn't have an arm!
388
00:15:45,990 --> 00:15:48,300
All right.
I remembered he didn't have a tail.
389
00:15:48,330 --> 00:15:49,020
Martin!
390
00:15:49,050 --> 00:15:50,850
Hello, all.
THEY ALL GROAN
391
00:15:51,110 --> 00:15:54,930
Is this the right place for a
creamy tea?
392
00:15:55,530 --> 00:15:59,100
Ooh! Oh, Jim! Oh, no!
393
00:15:59,130 --> 00:16:00,930
Naughty Mr Metal Spoon is coming
back for more!
394
00:16:01,190 --> 00:16:02,700
Naughty Mr Metal Spoon is coming
back for more!
395
00:16:02,730 --> 00:16:03,720
No, Jim, no!
396
00:16:03,750 --> 00:16:05,550
Please make it stop.
397
00:16:06,470 --> 00:16:08,270
CLATTERING
398
00:16:08,610 --> 00:16:10,860
Erm, five cream teas?
399
00:16:10,890 --> 00:16:11,940
Thank God.
400
00:16:11,970 --> 00:16:13,770
There you are.
401
00:16:14,790 --> 00:16:16,590
And one...
402
00:16:16,770 --> 00:16:19,140
..creamy... tea.
403
00:16:19,170 --> 00:16:25,050
Ahh, creamy tea.
404
00:16:25,410 --> 00:16:29,700
HE GROWLS SOFTLY
405
00:16:29,730 --> 00:16:31,530
Lovely and thick.
406
00:16:33,570 --> 00:16:38,340
25 years I am
waiting for the delicious cream tea.
407
00:16:38,370 --> 00:16:41,100
Well, I hope you enjoy
it as much as you used to.
408
00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:44,220
I hope so also, Jackie.
409
00:16:44,250 --> 00:16:46,050
Very much.
410
00:16:52,410 --> 00:16:53,820
Well?Well?
411
00:16:53,850 --> 00:16:55,650
Oh...Gibby?
412
00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:58,260
The cream is just too much sweet.
413
00:16:58,290 --> 00:17:00,680
The jam, it is too much not sweet.
414
00:17:00,710 --> 00:17:01,740
And the scone...
415
00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:03,570
SHE SNIFFS
416
00:17:04,070 --> 00:17:05,870
It is smelly.
417
00:17:06,090 --> 00:17:07,890
"Smelly"?
418
00:17:10,310 --> 00:17:12,110
SHE SOBS
419
00:17:16,230 --> 00:17:18,030
JIM SLURPS LOUDLY
420
00:17:20,730 --> 00:17:22,530
Well, this is terrific.
421
00:17:22,790 --> 00:17:24,590
Well, this is terrific.
422
00:17:27,110 --> 00:17:30,420
Oh, come on, Gibby, come out now.
423
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:31,980
I do not never come out.
424
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:33,420
What a shame.
425
00:17:33,450 --> 00:17:35,100
What are we meant to do?
426
00:17:35,130 --> 00:17:36,930
Nothing. She just spends the next
five nights locked in a hotel bog.
427
00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:38,220
Nothing. She just spends the next
five nights locked in a hotel bog.
428
00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:39,900
Yup.Where's your father?
429
00:17:39,930 --> 00:17:41,730
Er, he's just finishing his five
cream teas.
430
00:17:41,990 --> 00:17:42,920
Er, he's just finishing his five
cream teas.
431
00:17:42,950 --> 00:17:44,750
SHE SIGHS
432
00:17:45,350 --> 00:17:47,150
Oh, come out, will you?
433
00:17:47,430 --> 00:17:47,720
Oh, come out, will you?
434
00:17:47,750 --> 00:17:50,340
Jackie, I've finished my creamy tea
435
00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:54,210
and now I'm all ready to
liberate Gibby.
436
00:17:54,470 --> 00:17:54,780
and now I'm all ready to
liberate Gibby.
437
00:17:54,810 --> 00:17:56,610
You're going to liberate Gibby,
are you, Jim?
438
00:17:56,870 --> 00:17:57,180
You're going to liberate Gibby,
are you, Jim?
439
00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:58,500
Yes, Jackie.
440
00:17:58,530 --> 00:18:00,900
Right. And what are you going to do?
Kick the door down?
441
00:18:00,930 --> 00:18:02,460
Erm...
442
00:18:02,490 --> 00:18:04,290
Stand back, please.
443
00:18:10,530 --> 00:18:13,500
# There was a frog lived in a well
444
00:18:13,530 --> 00:18:15,300
# Whipsee diddledee dandy dee
445
00:18:15,330 --> 00:18:17,130
# There was a mouse lived in a well
446
00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:19,050
# Whipsee diddledee dandy dee
447
00:18:19,290 --> 00:18:21,090
# The frog he would a-wooing ride
448
00:18:21,210 --> 00:18:23,010
# With a sword and buckler by his
side
449
00:18:23,250 --> 00:18:25,500
# With a harum-scarum diddle dum
darum
450
00:18:25,530 --> 00:18:27,330
# Whipsee diddledee dandy dee! #
451
00:18:27,590 --> 00:18:29,390
# Whipsee diddledee dandy dee! #
452
00:18:33,570 --> 00:18:35,370
DOOR OPENS
453
00:18:39,270 --> 00:18:40,380
Thank you, Jim.
454
00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:42,210
It is beautiful.
455
00:18:52,230 --> 00:18:53,220
We're going.
456
00:18:53,250 --> 00:18:54,780
What do you mean we're going?
Don't ask.
457
00:18:54,810 --> 00:18:57,060
I've still got another three
cream teas to get through.
458
00:18:57,090 --> 00:18:58,890
Come on.Jackie!
459
00:18:59,270 --> 00:19:01,070
Come on!
460
00:19:02,610 --> 00:19:03,780
I'm sorry, Martin.
461
00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:06,180
The girl's too much.
She's just too much.
462
00:19:06,210 --> 00:19:08,700
Hm?Ugh! Martin!
463
00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:10,500
Dad...What?
464
00:19:10,530 --> 00:19:12,330
Your tyres?
465
00:19:12,570 --> 00:19:14,370
Oh, crap.
466
00:19:15,690 --> 00:19:17,490
I wonder who did that?
467
00:19:18,210 --> 00:19:20,520
Neville sodding Bradley git.
468
00:19:20,550 --> 00:19:22,350
Right, well, here we are, then, Jim.
469
00:19:22,470 --> 00:19:24,270
Yes, here we are.
470
00:19:25,890 --> 00:19:27,690
Not you.
471
00:19:29,130 --> 00:19:30,930
Oh, Jim is not here?
472
00:19:31,050 --> 00:19:32,840
No, he's just had to pop home and...
473
00:19:32,870 --> 00:19:34,380
Make love to his dog.
474
00:19:34,410 --> 00:19:35,580
Ow!
475
00:19:35,610 --> 00:19:37,860
Gibby is so sad without Jim.
476
00:19:37,890 --> 00:19:40,500
Yes, well, I'm sure you'll survive.
477
00:19:40,530 --> 00:19:44,360
Why don't you come and have a nice
little sit-down in the living room?
478
00:19:44,390 --> 00:19:45,420
On the own?
479
00:19:45,450 --> 00:19:47,250
That's right - on the own.
480
00:19:48,930 --> 00:19:50,730
Mum?
481
00:19:50,850 --> 00:19:52,650
Upstairs.
482
00:19:57,570 --> 00:19:59,370
Ooh, what about this place?
483
00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:01,740
Martin, you've shown me
that place five times already.
484
00:20:01,770 --> 00:20:03,540
It's fully booked.All right.
485
00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:06,300
Isn't it a bit mean to just stick
her in a hotel for the weekend?
486
00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:08,130
Boys, it's only a couple of nights.
487
00:20:08,390 --> 00:20:08,820
Boys, it's only a couple of nights.
488
00:20:08,850 --> 00:20:10,650
This place?
Oh, my God, it's the same place!
489
00:20:10,790 --> 00:20:12,060
Right, move. I'm doing it.
490
00:20:12,090 --> 00:20:13,260
SHE SIGHS
491
00:20:13,290 --> 00:20:16,040
Boys, please give your
father Internet lessons.
492
00:20:16,070 --> 00:20:17,870
Bloody Internet.
493
00:20:17,970 --> 00:20:20,840
There's got to be somewhere
near that's got a room.
494
00:20:20,870 --> 00:20:22,140
That place looks all right.
495
00:20:22,170 --> 00:20:23,880
Does it look all right?
496
00:20:23,910 --> 00:20:25,710
"I found a rat in my room."
497
00:20:25,830 --> 00:20:27,300
The London Rat Hotel.
498
00:20:27,330 --> 00:20:28,740
Oh, shit.
499
00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:31,140
You know, we're the ones
that should be staying in a hotel,
500
00:20:31,170 --> 00:20:32,940
Jackie, not old Giblet features.
501
00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:34,020
Ha-ha!
502
00:20:34,050 --> 00:20:36,300
Having a bit of time to ourselves.
503
00:20:36,330 --> 00:20:37,140
Dad!
504
00:20:37,170 --> 00:20:38,700
Having a bit of nippy-nippy.
505
00:20:38,730 --> 00:20:41,480
Argh!Oh, my God, you're animals!
506
00:20:41,510 --> 00:20:43,310
Oh, just go downstairs, then,
if you don't like it.
507
00:20:43,590 --> 00:20:43,860
Oh, just go downstairs, then,
if you don't like it.
508
00:20:43,890 --> 00:20:45,180
We don't like it.Yeah.
509
00:20:45,210 --> 00:20:47,010
Enjoy your five nights here with
Gibby-Gibby and no nippy-nippy.
510
00:20:47,270 --> 00:20:49,070
Enjoy your five nights here with
Gibby-Gibby and no nippy-nippy.
511
00:20:49,190 --> 00:20:50,990
Sods.
512
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:53,220
I mean...
JIM:Gibby!
513
00:20:53,250 --> 00:20:55,050
SHE LAUGHS
Oh, Casanova's back.
514
00:20:59,130 --> 00:21:00,930
MUSIC PLAYS
515
00:21:01,190 --> 00:21:02,990
MUSIC PLAYS
516
00:21:07,050 --> 00:21:08,460
Terrific evening.
517
00:21:08,490 --> 00:21:10,290
And jump!
518
00:21:16,550 --> 00:21:20,370
Er, Jonny?What?
519
00:21:23,490 --> 00:21:27,330
Er, why are Mum and Dad driving off
in your car?
520
00:21:28,230 --> 00:21:30,030
Oi!Mum? Dad?Hey!
521
00:21:30,210 --> 00:21:32,010
Come back!
522
00:21:32,130 --> 00:21:33,930
Where are they bloody going?!Right!
523
00:21:35,130 --> 00:21:36,930
What's going on?! Adam?
524
00:21:37,190 --> 00:21:38,990
What's going on?! Adam?
525
00:21:40,410 --> 00:21:42,210
What's that?
Obviously they're not answering.
526
00:21:42,470 --> 00:21:45,960
The shits."Found a room in a
rat-free hotel. Back late Sunda
527
00:21:45,990 --> 00:21:47,580
Oh, my God!The shits!
528
00:21:47,610 --> 00:21:49,260
"Please look after Gibby."
529
00:21:49,290 --> 00:21:51,660
They want us to look after Gibby?!
Bastards!
530
00:21:51,690 --> 00:21:54,660
What's dad put here? Oh,
"Two words, - nippy-nippy."
531
00:21:54,690 --> 00:21:56,340
Nice touch.I can't believe it.
532
00:21:56,370 --> 00:21:58,760
They've just dumped us
here with bloody...Hello?
533
00:21:58,790 --> 00:22:00,590
The mother and the father,
they is gone?
534
00:22:00,870 --> 00:22:01,160
The mother and the father,
they is gone?
535
00:22:01,190 --> 00:22:04,860
Er, they've just had to go
away for a couple of days, Gibby.
536
00:22:04,890 --> 00:22:06,180
Yeah.
537
00:22:06,210 --> 00:22:10,050
But... who will look after Gibby?
538
00:22:12,450 --> 00:22:14,250
BOTH:We will look after Gibby.
539
00:22:15,930 --> 00:22:19,740
Can we do some more erotic dancing,
now, Gibby?
540
00:22:19,770 --> 00:22:21,570
Jim, I am thinking we have the
upstairs of the house
541
00:22:21,830 --> 00:22:22,500
Jim, I am thinking we have the
upstairs of the house
542
00:22:22,530 --> 00:22:24,330
to ourselves tonight.
543
00:22:24,450 --> 00:22:25,620
Oh, God.
544
00:22:25,650 --> 00:22:28,380
Maybe we can be having some fun.
545
00:22:28,410 --> 00:22:30,210
Ooh, Gibby...
546
00:22:31,170 --> 00:22:32,970
Ahh... Ahh!
547
00:22:33,030 --> 00:22:34,500
Er...
548
00:22:34,530 --> 00:22:38,340
You are liking what you are seeing?
549
00:22:38,370 --> 00:22:40,140
Oh, yes, Gibby.
550
00:22:40,170 --> 00:22:41,480
Guys...
551
00:22:41,510 --> 00:22:43,310
Maybe you are liking to see
some more?
552
00:22:43,590 --> 00:22:45,390
Maybe you are liking to see
some more?
553
00:22:46,950 --> 00:22:48,750
HE BREATHES RAPIDLY
554
00:22:50,010 --> 00:22:51,810
Wolves! Wolves!
555
00:22:52,070 --> 00:22:53,870
Wolves! Wolves!
556
00:22:54,210 --> 00:22:56,010
HE WHIMPERS
557
00:22:57,210 --> 00:22:59,010
HE SCREAMS
558
00:22:59,970 --> 00:23:01,500
Oh...
559
00:23:01,530 --> 00:23:03,330
Oh.
560
00:23:05,370 --> 00:23:07,140
I use the facilities.
561
00:23:07,170 --> 00:23:10,260
# I change shapes just to hide in
this place
562
00:23:10,290 --> 00:23:14,820
# But I'm still, I'm still an animal
563
00:23:14,850 --> 00:23:17,580
# Nobody knows it but me when I slip
564
00:23:17,610 --> 00:23:22,020
# Yeah, I slip, I'm still an animal
565
00:23:22,050 --> 00:23:25,160
# I change shapes just to hide in
this place
566
00:23:25,190 --> 00:23:26,990
* But I'm still,
I'm still an animal... *
567
00:23:27,270 --> 00:23:28,620
* But I'm still,
I'm still an animal... *
568
00:23:28,650 --> 00:23:30,450
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