All language subtitles for 18 Again! (1988)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:31,781 --> 00:00:37,620 [ Police Radio Dispatcher, Indistinct ] 2 00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:49,132 COPS ! COPS ! 3 00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:52,135 - WHAT ? - COPS ! 4 00:01:03,646 --> 00:01:07,650 - GIVE ME THE PAINT. - ARE THEY GONE YET ? 5 00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:11,154 NAH, I THINK THEY'RE WAITING OVER THERE TO TAKE US OUT FOR SOME DOUGHNUTS LATER. 6 00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:13,156 GIVE ME THE PAINT. 7 00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:16,659 - [ Groans ] - OH, DAVID, I'M SORRY. 8 00:01:16,659 --> 00:01:19,662 NOW THE CAN. 9 00:02:09,712 --> 00:02:13,716 I'LL SEE YOU LATER IN HISTORY... CLASS. 10 00:02:13,716 --> 00:02:15,718 [ Chuckles ] 11 00:02:35,738 --> 00:02:38,241 HI, GRANDPA. 12 00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:44,247 [ Door Opens ] SQUID ! 13 00:02:53,756 --> 00:02:58,761 [ Laughing ] 14 00:02:58,761 --> 00:03:01,264 WHAT IS IT YOU DO AT NIGHT, WATSON ? 15 00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:06,269 WHATEVER IT IS, PLEDGE, STOP IT. 16 00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:09,772 THAT'S RIGHT. WHERE'S MY ART HISTORY PAPER ? 17 00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:12,275 IT'S ALMOST DONE. WHAT'S IT ON ? 18 00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:14,777 CEZANNE, THE IMPRESSIONIST. 19 00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:16,779 LIKE RICH LITTLE. 20 00:03:16,779 --> 00:03:20,283 - [ Laughing ] - SORT OF. 21 00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:26,289 GIVE US 20. [ Laughing ] 22 00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:30,293 NO, NO, LEAVE THE BACKPACK ON. 23 00:03:35,298 --> 00:03:37,800 AND ONE. ALL THE WAY DOWN. 24 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,802 TWO. KEEP YOUR BACK STRAIGHT. 25 00:03:39,802 --> 00:03:42,805 THREE. VERY GOOD. HERE'S A LITTLE INCENTIVE. 26 00:03:42,805 --> 00:03:45,808 [ Laughing ] 27 00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:51,314 YOU ALL HAVE YOUR ASSIGNMENTS FOR THE MIDTERM PAPER ? YEAH. 28 00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:55,818 EVERY STUDENT HAS BEEN GIVEN A TOPIC ENTIRELY AT RANDOM. 29 00:03:59,822 --> 00:04:03,326 YOU THINK IT'S LOVE, BUT IT'S MERELY LUST. 30 00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:06,329 "MERELY" ? WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT HER ? 31 00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:10,333 SHE HAS A HEAD ON HER SHOULDERS, FOR ONE THING. 32 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,335 MOST OF HER APPENDAGES SEEM TO BE PROPERLY PLACED. 33 00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:15,338 I'LL GIVE YOU THAT, OKAY ? [ Laughs ] 34 00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:17,840 BUT REMEMBER WHO SHE GOES OUT WITH. JUST FORGET IT. 35 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,842 [ Sighs ] 36 00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:21,844 ROBIN ? 37 00:04:24,847 --> 00:04:29,352 UH... I GUESS I'M JUST A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED, PROFESSOR. 38 00:04:29,852 --> 00:04:31,854 [ Professor ] YOU ARE ? [ Robin ] YEAH. 39 00:04:31,854 --> 00:04:37,360 I WAS SORT OF HOPING I COULD DO MY THESIS ON THE KENNEDY ADMINISTRATION. 40 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,862 WHY, DEAR ? BECAUSE HE WAS CUTER THAN TRUMAN ? 41 00:04:39,862 --> 00:04:42,865 [ Students Laughing ] 42 00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:47,870 NO, BECAUSE I FEEL THE ERA IS MORE RELEVANT TO CURRENT HISTORY. 43 00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:51,374 [ Professor ] AND YOU DON'T KNOW AS MUCH ABOUT TRUMAN, DO YOU ? 44 00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:52,875 NO. 45 00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:58,381 WELL, WE ARE HERE TO LEARN, ARE WE NOT ? 46 00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:04,887 I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND HARRY TRUMAN TO BE VERY STIMULATING. 47 00:05:04,887 --> 00:05:07,390 EVERYBODY WANTS YOUR GIRL. [ Whispers ] SHUT UP. 48 00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:10,893 LOOK AT THE TEACHER. LOOK AT THE TEACHER. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. 49 00:05:10,893 --> 00:05:14,897 THE SUBJECT IS A SPECIALITY OF MINE, AS YOU KNOW, ROBIN. 50 00:05:14,897 --> 00:05:17,900 SO I'LL BE ABLE TO GIVE YOU... 51 00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:20,903 GUIDANCE, INPUT. 52 00:05:22,905 --> 00:05:25,908 THANK YOU. 53 00:05:31,914 --> 00:05:34,917 [ Coach ] PICK UP THE PACE ! DO IT ! 54 00:05:41,924 --> 00:05:43,926 [ Spectators Cheering ] WAY TO GO ! WAY TO GO ! 55 00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:47,930 GET OUT OF MY WAY, MAN ! YOU'RE SLOWING ME DOWN ! 56 00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:52,435 I'M NOT KIDDING, MAN ! MOVE ! 57 00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:54,937 - [ Gasps ] - [ Laughing ] 58 00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:01,444 ALL RIGHT. 59 00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:04,947 - ALL RIGHT ! - YEAH ! YEAH ! 60 00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:17,960 THAT WAS A BAD BREAK. LOOK OUT. 61 00:06:18,961 --> 00:06:22,465 ARE YOU OKAY ? YES, I'M FINE. 62 00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:28,471 HEY, AREN'T WE-- YOU IN MY AMERICAN HISTORY CLASS ? 63 00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:32,475 - YEAH, I THINK SO. - HOW DO YOU LIKE IT ? 64 00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:34,977 CLASS OR HISTORY ? UH-- 65 00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:37,480 CLASS I'M NOT CRAZY ABOUT. 66 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:40,483 PROFESSOR SWIVET-- [ Laughs ] 67 00:06:40,983 --> 00:06:44,487 [ Laughs ] BUT I LOVE HISTORY. 68 00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:46,489 IT'S MY MAJOR. 69 00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:48,491 IT'S YOUR MAJOR AND YOU LOVE IT ? 70 00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:51,494 THAT'S A NEW ONE. WHAT ABOUT YOU ? 71 00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:54,997 ME ? UH, MY MAJOR IS BUSINESS, 72 00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:56,999 OH. BUT I'M REALLY NOT INTERESTED IN-- 73 00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:00,002 HEY, BABE. HI. HI. 74 00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:04,507 TOUGH BREAK OUT THERE, MAN, 75 00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:09,011 BUT THAT'S THE WAY THEY FALL SOMETIMES. 76 00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:22,525 I DIDN'T EVEN TELL HER MY NAME. 77 00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:24,527 I AM A DWEEB. WATCH OUT, SQUID. 78 00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:46,549 I'M HERE TO SEE MY FATHER AT-- 79 00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:49,051 [ Man Over Intercom ] IS MY BRILLIANT SON HERE YET ? 80 00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:52,054 YES, SIR. SEND HIM IN. 81 00:07:52,054 --> 00:07:54,056 [ Son ] I'LL THANK YOU TO TREAT ME WITH A LITTLE MORE RESPECT, SIR. 82 00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:57,059 YOU HAVE TO PRESS THE BUTTON IF YOU WANT YOUR DAD TO HEAR YOU. 83 00:07:57,059 --> 00:07:59,562 I KNOW HOW IT WORKS. 84 00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:02,565 SEND DAVID IN AS SOON AS HE GETS HERE. 85 00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:08,070 [ Sighs ] 86 00:08:15,077 --> 00:08:18,080 DAD ? 87 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:23,085 I KNOW YOU THOUGHT THE DUCK PHONES WERE A MISTAKE FROM THE BEGINNING. 88 00:08:23,085 --> 00:08:25,588 I KNOW I SAID MY DEPARTMENT COULD GUARANTEE MOVING... 89 00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:29,091 AT LEAST 500,000 UNITS IN THE FIRST YEAR. 90 00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:35,097 I DON'T FEEL, THOUGH, THAT WE'RE REACHING THE IDEAL CONSUMER: DUCK HUNTERS, 91 00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:38,601 [ Toilet Flushing ] 92 00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:41,103 WHEN A DUCK HUNTER SEES A DUCK, HE WANTS TO SHOOT IT. 93 00:08:41,103 --> 00:08:44,106 HE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK INTO ITS ASS. 94 00:08:44,106 --> 00:08:46,108 IT MIGHT ANSWER BACK. 95 00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:50,112 ANYWAY, YOU'RE IN SALES. JUST SELL THE DAMN THINGS. 96 00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:52,114 WHAT HAVE YOU GOT THERE ? 97 00:08:52,114 --> 00:08:56,118 THESE ARE SOME BLUEPRINTS I DREW UP FOR RETOOLING-- 98 00:08:56,118 --> 00:08:58,120 "RETOOLING" ? 99 00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:01,123 WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN THERE, PRETENDING TO BE A DESIGNER ? 100 00:09:01,123 --> 00:09:03,626 IS THAT WHY YOU KEEP SCREWING UP ? 101 00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,628 WHAT ELSE ARE YOU PRETENDING TO BE, AN ASTRONAUT ? 102 00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:08,130 COME DOWN TO EARTH. I NEED YOU HERE. 103 00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:11,634 YOU'RE LATE ! 104 00:09:12,134 --> 00:09:16,639 ALL I ASK OF YOU IS TWO AFTERNOONS A WEEK AT 3:30 SHARP. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK ? 105 00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:19,141 BUT YOU WOULD RATHER HOIST SOME BEERS WITH YOUR FRAT BUDDIES... 106 00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:21,644 OR PAL AROUND WITH YOUR TRACK TEAMMATES. 107 00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:24,030 WHAT'S FUNNY ? 108 00:09:24,030 --> 00:09:28,034 DO YOU KNOW WHAT MOST PEOPLE WOULD GIVE TO HAVE A POSITION IN A COMPANY LIKE THIS ? 109 00:09:28,034 --> 00:09:30,536 GIVE THE KID A BREAK. 110 00:09:30,536 --> 00:09:34,040 HELLO, DAVID. HI, GRANDPA. 111 00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:36,542 WHAT KEPT YOU THIS TIME ? 112 00:09:36,542 --> 00:09:39,545 UH, TRACK PRACTICE AGAIN. WHAT WAS YOUR TIME ? 113 00:09:39,545 --> 00:09:42,548 4:56. 114 00:09:42,548 --> 00:09:46,052 4:56 ? WHAT IS IT WITH ONLY ONE BROKEN LEG ? 115 00:09:46,052 --> 00:09:48,554 DAD-- NO, HE'S RIGHT. 116 00:09:48,554 --> 00:09:51,557 I COULD DO BETTER. SO COULD OPRAH WINFREY. 117 00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:54,560 ALL RIGHT, DAD, HE DIDN'T INHERIT YOUR LEGS. 118 00:09:55,061 --> 00:09:58,564 THAT'S BECAUSE I'M STILL USING THEM. 4:56. 119 00:09:59,065 --> 00:10:01,567 WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE I RAN A 4:56, 120 00:10:01,567 --> 00:10:05,071 BUT I HAD LUCY MULHANEY ON MY BACK AND A BEER IN EACH HAND. 121 00:10:05,571 --> 00:10:07,573 4:56. 122 00:10:07,573 --> 00:10:10,076 I'LL SEE YOU BOTH TONIGHT. 123 00:10:10,576 --> 00:10:13,079 WHY AM I LEAVING ? THIS IS MY OFFICE. 124 00:10:13,079 --> 00:10:15,081 OUT, KIDS. 125 00:10:15,081 --> 00:10:18,584 4:56. [ Laughs ] 126 00:10:25,091 --> 00:10:29,595 ## 127 00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:32,098 [ Man ] HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JACK. 128 00:10:45,611 --> 00:10:48,114 MAY I TAKE YOUR COAT ? 129 00:10:49,615 --> 00:10:51,617 [ Jack ] BETTY. OH. 130 00:10:51,617 --> 00:10:53,619 I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU LOOK BETTER. 131 00:10:53,619 --> 00:10:57,123 I HOPE THIS DOESN'T MEAN YOUR EYESIGHT IS FAILING YOU. NOT AT ALL. 132 00:10:57,123 --> 00:10:59,625 GETTING STRONGER. I STILL CAN'T FIGURE OUT... 133 00:10:59,625 --> 00:11:01,627 HOW MY SON HERE HOOKED YOU. 134 00:11:01,627 --> 00:11:03,629 DID HE PUT SOMETHING IN YOUR DRINK ? [ Laughs ] 135 00:11:03,629 --> 00:11:05,631 DAD-- THAT'S A JOKE, KID. LIGHTEN UP. 136 00:11:05,631 --> 00:11:09,135 I'M GLAD YOU BOTH COULD MAKE IT. "MAKE IT" ? 137 00:11:10,636 --> 00:11:13,139 OH, YOU MEAN TO THE PARTY. 138 00:11:13,139 --> 00:11:16,142 TO THE PARTY. ARE YOU KIDDING ? WE WOULDN'T MISS THIS FOR-- 139 00:11:16,142 --> 00:11:18,644 MOLLY BRAYMILLER, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU. 140 00:11:18,644 --> 00:11:23,649 [ Woman ] HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SWEETHEART. FOR ANYTHING. 141 00:11:23,649 --> 00:11:27,153 HELLO, EVERYBODY ! 142 00:11:27,153 --> 00:11:30,156 LET THE GAMES BEGIN. 143 00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:43,669 JUST BE THANKFUL SHE'S NOT AS YOUNG AS SHE SAYS SHE IS. 144 00:11:43,669 --> 00:11:45,671 [ Son ] IF SHE WERE AS YOUNG AS SHE SAYS SHE IS, 145 00:11:45,671 --> 00:11:47,673 THOSE WOULD BE SCHOOLBOOKS SHE'S CARRYING. 146 00:11:56,682 --> 00:12:01,687 I THINK YOU ALL KNOW MY COMPANION, PLAYMATE AND CONFIDANTE, MADELYN. 147 00:12:01,687 --> 00:12:04,690 BUT NOT LIKE I KNOW HER. [ Giggles ] 148 00:12:04,690 --> 00:12:09,195 BUT WE'LL GET INTO THAT LATER. DOESN'T SHE LOOK SENSATIONAL ? 149 00:12:12,198 --> 00:12:14,200 [ Clears Throat ] 150 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:17,203 YOU'RE REQUESTED IN THE KITCHEN, MISS EVELYN. 151 00:12:17,203 --> 00:12:19,205 MADELYN. THANK YOU. 152 00:12:19,205 --> 00:12:21,207 OH, YES, OF COURSE. I'M SORRY. 153 00:12:21,207 --> 00:12:23,709 MISS EVELYN WAS THE TALL ONE. 154 00:12:28,214 --> 00:12:30,216 SOME GIRL, HUH ? 155 00:12:30,716 --> 00:12:33,719 DON'T YOU THINK SHE'S A LITTLE TOO YOUNG FOR YOU ? 156 00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:36,222 LOOK, I'D GO OUT WITH WOMEN MY AGE, 157 00:12:36,222 --> 00:12:38,724 BUT THERE ARE NO WOMEN MY AGE. 158 00:12:42,728 --> 00:12:44,730 [ Groans ] 159 00:12:44,730 --> 00:12:47,233 I THINK YOU BETTER FIND ONE. 160 00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:49,235 DO YOU WANT YOUR MOTHER TO DO THAT ? 161 00:12:49,735 --> 00:12:51,737 IS THIS A CLIP-ON ? 162 00:12:51,737 --> 00:12:53,739 GOD, DON'T LET YOUR GRANDFATHER SEE IT. 163 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:57,743 WHERE DID YOU GET THIS ? IT'S ONE OF DAD'S. 164 00:13:02,248 --> 00:13:04,250 GRANDPA, I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT... 165 00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:06,252 WHEN I'M YOUR AGE... 166 00:13:06,252 --> 00:13:08,754 I HOPE I'M HALF AS LIVELY AS YOU ARE. 167 00:13:08,754 --> 00:13:11,757 DON'T LOOK TO THE FUTURE, KID. YOU'RE HALF AS LIVELY NOW. 168 00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:15,761 IS THAT A CLIP-ON ? 169 00:13:15,761 --> 00:13:18,764 YOU HEARD HIM: "GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT." 170 00:13:18,764 --> 00:13:21,267 HE JUST MEANT HE WAS GLAD WE COULD MAKE IT TO THE PARTY. 171 00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:24,270 YOU UNDERESTIMATE HIM. THE MAN IS OBSESSED WITH SEX. 172 00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:28,774 WHEN HE SAYS, "GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT," IT'S A SEXUAL BARB. 173 00:13:28,774 --> 00:13:30,776 YEAH. 174 00:13:40,786 --> 00:13:42,788 HELLO, DAVID. 175 00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:47,293 GREAT PARTY, HUH ? 176 00:13:47,793 --> 00:13:50,796 YOUR GRANDPA DESERVES THE BEST. 177 00:13:50,796 --> 00:13:54,300 LIKE ME. I'M THE BEST. 178 00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:58,304 [ Sighs ] HE'S QUITE A GUY. 179 00:13:58,304 --> 00:14:01,807 AH, YES, HE IS REMARKABLE. 180 00:14:02,308 --> 00:14:04,310 BUT, DAVID, 181 00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:09,315 THERE IS SUCH A GREAT DIFFERENCE IN OUR AGES, YOU KNOW. 182 00:14:09,315 --> 00:14:11,817 THAT'S TRUE, BUT-- 183 00:14:11,817 --> 00:14:14,820 BUT HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY KNOW... 184 00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:18,324 UNLESS YOU'VE BEEN WITH AN OLDER WOMAN ? 185 00:14:18,324 --> 00:14:20,826 HAVE YOU ? 186 00:14:20,826 --> 00:14:23,829 UH-- 187 00:14:23,829 --> 00:14:29,835 THEN AGAIN, YOU AND I AREN'T THAT FAR APART, ARE WE ? 188 00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:33,839 IN AGE, I MEAN. 189 00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:40,346 [ Sighs ] IT'S A SEXY TIE. 190 00:14:40,346 --> 00:14:42,848 IS IT A CLIP-ON ? 191 00:14:42,848 --> 00:14:46,352 UH, YES, I-I BELIEVE SO. 192 00:14:50,356 --> 00:14:53,859 DO I MAKE YOU NERVOUS, DAVID ? 193 00:14:56,362 --> 00:14:58,864 I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. 194 00:14:58,864 --> 00:15:00,866 OH, THERE YOU ARE. 195 00:15:00,866 --> 00:15:03,869 HOW ARE YOU TWO GETTING ALONG ? 196 00:15:03,869 --> 00:15:05,871 [ Sighs ] FAMOUSLY. 197 00:15:05,871 --> 00:15:08,374 COME ON, DAVID. THERE'S SOME PEOPLE I WANT YOU TO MEET. 198 00:15:12,378 --> 00:15:14,880 [ Madelyn ] LATER, DAVID. 199 00:15:21,887 --> 00:15:24,390 GENTLEMEN, YOU KNOW MY GRANDSON DAVID. 200 00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:27,393 HE'S A FRESHMAN, LAMBDA CHI DELTA AT ROSSMORE. 201 00:15:27,893 --> 00:15:31,897 GOOD TO KNOW YOU. THAT'S SOME GRIP. YOU PLAY FOOTBALL ? 202 00:15:31,897 --> 00:15:33,899 TRACK. TRACK. JUST LIKE ME. 203 00:15:33,899 --> 00:15:36,402 NOT EXACTLY LIKE ME, BUT TRACK. 204 00:15:36,402 --> 00:15:38,904 YOU MUST DO PRETTY WELL WITH THE GIRLS. 205 00:15:39,405 --> 00:15:41,407 HE'S A WATSON, A WATSON. 206 00:15:41,407 --> 00:15:43,909 I BET HE'S BEATING THEM OFF WITH A STICK. 207 00:15:43,909 --> 00:15:47,413 - YEAH, THEY ACT LIKE I AM. - WHAT'D YOU SAY ? 208 00:15:47,413 --> 00:15:49,415 HE SAID, "YOU BETTER BELIEVE I AM." 209 00:15:49,415 --> 00:15:51,417 IS THAT WHAT HE SAID ? I DIDN'T HEAR IT. I JUST HEARD HIM. 210 00:15:51,417 --> 00:15:53,919 SAY IT. "YOU BETTER BELIEVE I AM." 211 00:15:53,919 --> 00:15:56,922 YOU BETTER BELIEVE I AM. YEAH, HE SAID IT. 212 00:15:57,423 --> 00:16:01,927 ## [ Fanfare ] 213 00:16:09,935 --> 00:16:14,940 # HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU # 214 00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:19,445 [ Others Join In ] # HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU # 215 00:16:19,945 --> 00:16:21,447 SHH. 216 00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:26,952 # HAPPY BIRTHDAY # 217 00:16:26,952 --> 00:16:31,957 # DEAR JACKIE-IE-IE-IE-IE-IE # 218 00:16:33,959 --> 00:16:36,462 # HAPPY BIRTHDAY # 219 00:16:36,462 --> 00:16:38,964 # TO-O-O-O-O # 220 00:16:38,964 --> 00:16:42,968 # YOU-OU-OU-OU-OU ## 221 00:16:46,472 --> 00:16:48,474 [ Sighs ] 222 00:16:57,483 --> 00:16:59,985 [ Madelyn ] JACK, JACK, JACK, JACK, WAIT A MINUTE. 223 00:16:59,985 --> 00:17:01,987 YOU HAVE TO MAKE A WISH. 224 00:17:01,987 --> 00:17:05,491 WHAT COULD I WISH FOR ? I'VE GOT EVERYTHING A MAN COULD WANT: 225 00:17:05,491 --> 00:17:07,993 A BEAUTIFUL AND TALENTED GIRLFRIEND, 226 00:17:08,494 --> 00:17:11,497 FAMILY THAT LOVES ME, GREAT FRIENDS. 227 00:17:11,497 --> 00:17:15,000 SO WHAT COULD I WISH FOR ? ONLY ONE THING. 228 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:18,003 B FLAT. ## [ Piano ] 229 00:17:18,003 --> 00:17:20,506 # # NOW TIME TURNS THE PAGES 230 00:17:21,006 --> 00:17:23,509 # AND, OH LIFE GOES SO FAST # 231 00:17:23,509 --> 00:17:27,513 # THE YEARS TURN THE BLACK HAIR ALL GRAY # 232 00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:29,515 # I TALKED TO SOME YOUNG FOLKS # 233 00:17:30,015 --> 00:17:32,017 # HEY, THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND # 234 00:17:32,017 --> 00:17:36,522 # THE WORDS THIS OLD MAN'S GOT TO SAY # 235 00:17:36,522 --> 00:17:40,025 # I WISH I WAS 18 AGAIN # 236 00:17:40,526 --> 00:17:43,028 # GOING WHERE I'VE NEVER BEEN # 237 00:17:43,028 --> 00:17:45,531 # BUT OLD FOLKS AND OLD OAKS # 238 00:17:45,531 --> 00:17:48,033 # STANDING TALL JUST PRETEND # 239 00:17:48,033 --> 00:17:52,037 # I WISH I WAS 18 AGAIN # 240 00:17:52,037 --> 00:17:57,042 # LORD, I WISH I WAS 18 AGAIN ## 241 00:18:09,054 --> 00:18:12,057 THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT. 242 00:18:12,057 --> 00:18:15,561 I WISH I COULD DO IT AGAIN BECAUSE I HAD THAT MUCH FUN. 243 00:18:16,061 --> 00:18:19,565 DAVID, COME UP HERE AND HELP YOUR GRANDFATHER. 244 00:18:19,565 --> 00:18:22,568 COME ON, KID. GIVE ME A HUG. 245 00:18:59,855 --> 00:19:01,857 [ David ] THANKS FOR LETTING ME DRIVE THE ROLLS, GRANDPA. 246 00:19:01,857 --> 00:19:04,860 [ Jack ] YOU'RE WELCOME, KID. YOU HUNGRY ? 247 00:19:04,860 --> 00:19:08,363 UH, NAH, NOT REALLY. 248 00:19:08,363 --> 00:19:10,365 THERE WAS ALL THAT GOOD FOOD AT THE PARTY. 249 00:19:10,365 --> 00:19:13,869 DON'T TELL ME YOU ATE ANY OF THAT STUFF. NO. 250 00:19:14,369 --> 00:19:17,873 GOOD. WE'LL GO TO KELLERS. OKAY. 251 00:19:19,374 --> 00:19:24,379 - WHERE IS IT ? - IT'S IN ALTOONA. 252 00:19:24,379 --> 00:19:26,381 "WHERE IS IT ?" KEEP DRIVING, KID. 253 00:19:26,882 --> 00:19:30,886 - WHERE'S ALTOONA ? - RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO KELLERS. 254 00:19:30,886 --> 00:19:32,888 "WHERE'S ALTOONA ?" [ Laughs ] 255 00:19:35,891 --> 00:19:39,394 TELL ME, WHAT'S SCHOOL LIKE ? 256 00:19:39,394 --> 00:19:41,396 IT'S OKAY. 257 00:19:41,396 --> 00:19:45,400 IT'S OKAY ? IT'S OKAY ? 258 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:49,905 IT SHOULD BE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE. I KNOW. 259 00:19:49,905 --> 00:19:52,407 WHAT ABOUT-- WHAT ABOUT GIRLS ? 260 00:19:55,410 --> 00:19:58,914 YOU'LL NEVER AGAIN HAVE AS WIDE A SELECTION. TRUST ME. 261 00:19:58,914 --> 00:20:01,416 THERE IS ONE. 262 00:20:01,416 --> 00:20:04,920 ONE IS ENOUGH FOR STARTERS. WHAT'S HER NAME ? 263 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:07,923 ROBIN. WHAT'S SHE LIKE ? 264 00:20:07,923 --> 00:20:11,927 SHE'S GREAT. SHE'S SMART. SHE'S BEAUTIFUL. 265 00:20:12,427 --> 00:20:14,429 TELL ME SHE'S GOT MONEY AND I'LL BOOK A CHURCH. 266 00:20:14,429 --> 00:20:16,932 I DON'T KNOW. 267 00:20:16,932 --> 00:20:18,934 WE HAVEN'T SAID MUCH TO EACH OTHER. 268 00:20:18,934 --> 00:20:20,936 WHAT, IS SHE A MIME ? 269 00:20:20,936 --> 00:20:23,438 TALKING TO WOMEN IS NO BIG DEAL. HERE, WATCH. 270 00:20:23,438 --> 00:20:27,442 - [ Woman ] MORE COFFEE ? - PLEASE. "RITA." 271 00:20:27,943 --> 00:20:30,946 IS THAT YOUR NAME, OR ARE YOU WEARING SOMEBODY ELSE'S CLOTHES ? 272 00:20:30,946 --> 00:20:35,450 [ Laughs ] THAT'S MY NAME. CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING ELSE ? 273 00:20:35,450 --> 00:20:37,452 JUST YOUR PHONE NUMBER. 274 00:20:37,452 --> 00:20:40,455 WE'LL TRADE. YOU CAN HAVE MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER. 275 00:20:40,455 --> 00:20:43,458 [ Laughing ] 276 00:20:43,959 --> 00:20:45,460 DID YOU HEAR THAT ? 277 00:20:45,961 --> 00:20:48,463 SHE PRACTICALLY THREW HERSELF NAKED ACROSS THE TABLE. 278 00:20:50,465 --> 00:20:52,467 NOT QUITE. 279 00:20:52,467 --> 00:20:54,469 ANYWAY, YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH THAT. 280 00:20:54,469 --> 00:20:57,973 ME ? I JUST SOUND LIKE 50 OTHER GUYS THAT DAY WHO GAVE HER THE SAME LINES. 281 00:20:57,973 --> 00:21:00,976 IT'S NOT THE LINES. IT'S THE DELIVERY. 282 00:21:01,476 --> 00:21:03,478 MAYBE I SHOULD GET MYSELF A CIGAR. 283 00:21:03,478 --> 00:21:05,981 COULDN'T HURT. 284 00:21:16,491 --> 00:21:19,995 WE SHOULD DO THIS MORE OFTEN. 285 00:21:19,995 --> 00:21:21,997 GRANDPA ! 286 00:22:25,060 --> 00:22:30,565 [ Monitor Beeping ] [ Jack ] I SHOULD HAVE LET THE KID DRIVE. 287 00:22:32,567 --> 00:22:34,569 HE OPENED HIS EYES. 288 00:22:34,569 --> 00:22:37,072 [ Jack ] BRILLIANT. YOU SHOULD BE A DOCTOR. 289 00:22:37,072 --> 00:22:41,576 HMM, HE'S AWAKE. [ Jack ] SO SHOULD YOU. 290 00:22:42,077 --> 00:22:44,079 OH, BROTHER. 291 00:22:44,079 --> 00:22:48,083 MY BODY'S BROKEN, AND THEY SEND AN OPTOMETRIST. 292 00:22:48,083 --> 00:22:51,586 CAN YOU TALK ? [ David ] SURE. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY ? 293 00:22:51,586 --> 00:22:54,089 [ Jack ] WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY VOICE ? 294 00:22:54,089 --> 00:22:56,591 MUST HAVE STRADDLED THE GEARSHIFT. 295 00:22:56,591 --> 00:23:00,595 OH, GOD. THANK GOD. ARE YOU ALL RIGHT ? 296 00:23:00,595 --> 00:23:04,599 [ David ] FINE, BUT MY VOICE SOUNDS A LITTLE FUNNY. 297 00:23:04,599 --> 00:23:07,602 BUT OTHERWISE I FEEL LIKE I CAN GO TEN ROUNDS WITH JACK DEMPSEY. 298 00:23:08,103 --> 00:23:09,604 HOW'S DAVID ? 299 00:23:19,614 --> 00:23:23,118 [ Jack ] HOLY SHIT ! 300 00:23:26,121 --> 00:23:28,623 TAKE IT EASY, DAVID. 301 00:23:33,628 --> 00:23:35,630 [ Jack ] WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ? 302 00:23:38,633 --> 00:23:40,635 HERE, HONEY, WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN ? 303 00:23:40,635 --> 00:23:44,139 THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. 304 00:23:44,139 --> 00:23:47,142 [ Jack ] I'VE GOT TO TRY TO FIGURE THIS OUT. 305 00:23:50,645 --> 00:23:55,650 [ Jack ] BOY, DAVID, DID YOU GET THE SHORT END OF THE DEAL. 306 00:24:01,156 --> 00:24:05,160 [ Betty ] I REALLY WISH YOU'D COME HOME AND SLEEP IN YOUR OWN BED TONIGHT. 307 00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:07,662 NO. NO, THANKS. 308 00:24:07,662 --> 00:24:09,664 [ Jack ] THIS WILL BE BAD ENOUGH. 309 00:24:09,664 --> 00:24:12,667 WELL, ALL RIGHT. WE'LL LET YOU KNOW HOW GRANDPA'S DOING. 310 00:24:12,667 --> 00:24:15,170 [ Jack ] NOT TOO WELL, BELIEVE YOU ME. 311 00:24:15,670 --> 00:24:17,172 ALL RIGHT. GOOD NIGHT. 312 00:24:17,672 --> 00:24:19,174 GOOD NIGHT, DADDY. 313 00:24:22,177 --> 00:24:24,679 TAKE IT EASY. 314 00:24:25,180 --> 00:24:26,681 GOOD-BYE, HONEY. 315 00:24:27,182 --> 00:24:29,184 "DADDY" ? 316 00:24:33,188 --> 00:24:36,191 [ Jack ] HOLD THAT SMILE, JACK. YOU CAN DO IT. 317 00:25:24,739 --> 00:25:26,741 [ Shouting ] 318 00:25:34,749 --> 00:25:38,253 [ Laughing ] 319 00:25:38,253 --> 00:25:40,755 YEE-HA ! 320 00:25:40,755 --> 00:25:45,260 [ Laughing, Shouts ] 321 00:25:57,272 --> 00:25:59,274 NO, NO, NO ! 322 00:26:01,776 --> 00:26:05,280 [ Jack ] THIS COULD BE INTERESTING. 323 00:26:12,287 --> 00:26:16,791 [ Jack ] YOU'LL GET USED TO THEM. TRUST ME. 324 00:26:30,305 --> 00:26:32,307 [ Groans ] 325 00:26:38,813 --> 00:26:40,815 PAPERS. 326 00:26:40,815 --> 00:26:44,819 [ Jack ] "PAPERS" ? WHAT AM I, A COCKER SPANIEL ? 327 00:26:44,819 --> 00:26:47,822 THEY'RE DUE, WATSON. 328 00:26:47,822 --> 00:26:50,325 THEY ARE ? 329 00:26:54,579 --> 00:26:57,082 CAN YOU RUN THAT BY ME AGAIN ? 330 00:26:57,582 --> 00:26:59,084 [ Laughing ] 331 00:26:59,584 --> 00:27:01,586 WE DON'T MEAN TO BOTHER YOU, BUT WE'D LIKE TO-- 332 00:27:01,586 --> 00:27:04,089 OH, THINK NOTHING OF IT. 333 00:27:04,089 --> 00:27:09,094 I'M ALWAYS EAGER TO HELP OUT A FELLOW LAMBDA CHI DELTA BROTHER. 334 00:27:09,094 --> 00:27:11,596 DON'T JERK AROUND, WATSON. 335 00:27:11,596 --> 00:27:16,101 IF WE DON'T GET THOSE PAPERS IN ON TIME, 336 00:27:16,601 --> 00:27:19,104 WE GET SOME SERIOUS SHIT. 337 00:27:24,109 --> 00:27:27,112 LET ME SEE IF I UNDERSTAND THIS CORRECTLY. 338 00:27:27,112 --> 00:27:31,116 YOU BOYS WANT ME TO DO YOUR SCHOOLWORK ? 339 00:27:32,117 --> 00:27:34,119 GIVE ME 20, WATSON. 340 00:27:38,623 --> 00:27:42,127 WELL, I CAN LEND YOU TEN FOR NOW. 341 00:27:43,628 --> 00:27:45,630 [ Grunts ] 342 00:27:45,630 --> 00:27:48,133 [ Jack ] A SIMPLE NO WOULD BE ENOUGH. 343 00:27:48,133 --> 00:27:52,137 TWENTY PUSH-UPS. 344 00:27:52,137 --> 00:27:54,139 NOW. 345 00:28:03,648 --> 00:28:06,651 BY THE WAY, SMART-ASS, 346 00:28:06,651 --> 00:28:09,154 NOBODY BETTER FIND OUT YOU'RE DOING THIS WORK FOR US. 347 00:28:09,154 --> 00:28:12,157 UNDERSTOOD ? [ Jack ] WHO AM I GONNA TELL, DAN RATHER ? 348 00:28:12,157 --> 00:28:15,160 DON'T SLACK OFF, WATSON. 349 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:17,162 [ Jack ] SIX MORE PUSH-UPS, 350 00:28:17,162 --> 00:28:19,664 AND I'LL BE ABLE TO KILL THIS KID. 351 00:28:34,179 --> 00:28:37,682 [ Jack ] JESUS, DOES DAVID WAKE UP TO THIS EVERY DAY ? 352 00:28:42,187 --> 00:28:45,690 WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT ? TWENTY MORE ? 353 00:28:45,690 --> 00:28:48,193 DON'T TAKE IT OUT ON ME. 354 00:28:52,197 --> 00:28:56,201 THEY WERE KIND OF ROUGH ON YOU, HUH ? 355 00:28:56,701 --> 00:28:59,704 [ Jack ] SO THIS IS THAT WEIRDO FRIEND OF DAVID'S. 356 00:29:00,205 --> 00:29:03,208 WHAT ? IT'S MY EARRING. 357 00:29:03,208 --> 00:29:05,710 [ Jack ] WHAT NEXT ? 358 00:29:09,714 --> 00:29:12,217 [ Jack ] DOES THIS KID EVER GIVE HIS MOUTH A BREAK ? 359 00:29:12,217 --> 00:29:14,719 SOMEBODY WAKE ME WHEN HE SHUTS UP. 360 00:29:19,224 --> 00:29:23,728 WHY DO THEY FORCE THESE HUMANITIES COURSES DOWN KIDS' THROATS ? 361 00:29:23,728 --> 00:29:26,231 IT'S GOT NO BEARING ON THE REAL WORLD WHATSOEVER. 362 00:29:26,731 --> 00:29:28,733 THAT'S WHY IT'S YOUR FAVORITE CLASS. 363 00:29:28,733 --> 00:29:30,735 IT IS ? 364 00:29:30,735 --> 00:29:36,241 TODAY WE ARE GOING TO DO SOME QUICK STUDIES. RAYETTE. 365 00:29:38,243 --> 00:29:41,246 YOU GOTTA STOP HITTING THAT SNOOZE BUTTON. 366 00:29:47,252 --> 00:29:52,257 OHH-HOO-HOO-HOO ! OH, YEAH ! HELLO ! 367 00:29:52,257 --> 00:29:57,262 DAVID... DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM ? 368 00:29:57,762 --> 00:30:01,266 DO YOU REALIZE THE LAST TIME I SAW A NAKED LADY ? 369 00:30:01,266 --> 00:30:04,769 [ Jack ] IT WAS LAST THURSDAY, BUT IT STILL GETS ME. 370 00:30:06,771 --> 00:30:11,276 IF THERE IS ONE PERSON I EXPECT TO TAKE THIS CLASS SERIOUSLY, 371 00:30:11,776 --> 00:30:14,779 IT'S YOU. 372 00:30:23,288 --> 00:30:27,792 [ Jack ] AFTER CLASS I'LL BUY YOU A CUP OF COFFEE AND A LARGE HOUSE WITH SERVANTS. 373 00:30:52,317 --> 00:30:55,320 YOU'RE LOOSENING UP, DAVID. 374 00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:57,322 THAT'S GOOD. 375 00:30:57,322 --> 00:31:02,327 I'M SHOCKED TO SEE A BIT OF A PICASSO INFLUENCE. 376 00:31:02,327 --> 00:31:04,329 THAT'S NOT LIKE YOU. 377 00:31:04,329 --> 00:31:06,831 OH, SURE. I THREW THAT IN. 378 00:31:06,831 --> 00:31:09,334 NOT TOO MUCH. JUST A LITTLE. 379 00:31:09,334 --> 00:31:13,338 LIKE A SPRINKLING, A SEASONING ON TOP. 380 00:31:23,848 --> 00:31:25,850 [ Sighs ] 381 00:31:28,853 --> 00:31:31,356 ARE WE IN EVERY CLASS HERE TOGETHER ? 382 00:31:31,356 --> 00:31:33,358 THIS IS BEGINNING TO WORRY ME. 383 00:31:33,358 --> 00:31:35,860 WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN ? 384 00:31:37,362 --> 00:31:40,865 AH, LOOK, THERE SHE IS. 385 00:31:42,867 --> 00:31:45,870 ROBIN. 386 00:31:46,371 --> 00:31:50,375 SHE IS SOMETHING, EVEN WITHOUT SPEAKING. 387 00:31:50,875 --> 00:31:53,878 SO, IS EVERYONE COMING ALONG WITH THEIR PAPERS ? 388 00:31:53,878 --> 00:31:55,880 OH. YES, ROBIN ? 389 00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:59,884 I CAN'T FIND HARRY TRUMAN'S MIDDLE NAME. [ Laughs ] 390 00:32:02,887 --> 00:32:05,890 [ Jack ] HANDS OFF MY GIRL, YOU OLD LECH. 391 00:32:05,890 --> 00:32:09,394 THAT'S BECAUSE HARRY TRUMAN DIDN'T HAVE A MIDDLE NAME. 392 00:32:09,394 --> 00:32:14,399 HIS PARENTS COULDN'T DECIDE ON ONE, SO THEY GAVE HIM AN INITIAL, "S," 393 00:32:14,399 --> 00:32:16,401 BUT THE "S" DOESN'T STAND FOR ANYTHING. 394 00:32:16,401 --> 00:32:18,403 [ Laughs, Blows Raspberry ] 395 00:32:18,903 --> 00:32:21,906 [ Students Murmuring ] 396 00:32:25,410 --> 00:32:27,412 YES ? 397 00:32:27,412 --> 00:32:30,915 OH... I'M SORRY. 398 00:32:30,915 --> 00:32:33,918 NO. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, PLEASE, GO ON. 399 00:32:33,918 --> 00:32:37,922 YOU'RE NOT THE FIRST FISH TO SWALLOW THAT LINE. 400 00:32:38,423 --> 00:32:40,925 AND YOUR NAME IS ? 401 00:32:41,426 --> 00:32:46,431 - HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW MY NAME, AND I'M IN HIS CLASS. - [ Laughing ] 402 00:32:47,932 --> 00:32:49,934 DAVID WATSON. 403 00:32:49,934 --> 00:32:51,436 [ Swivet ] OH, I SEE. 404 00:32:51,936 --> 00:32:55,440 WHAT DOES THE "S" STAND FOR, MR. WATSON ? 405 00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:58,443 SERGEI, FROM AN EAST EUROPEAN UNCLE. 406 00:32:58,443 --> 00:33:01,446 BUT, FORESEEING THE RUSSIAN TROUBLES THAT WOULD FOLLOW AFTER WORLD WAR II, 407 00:33:01,946 --> 00:33:04,449 HARRY MADE UP THAT HOGWASH ABOUT THE "S." 408 00:33:04,449 --> 00:33:07,452 [ Swivet ] AND WHERE DID YOU COME BY THIS INFORMATION ? 409 00:33:07,452 --> 00:33:10,955 FROM THE MAN HIMSELF. [ Girl ] YEAH, UH-HUH. 410 00:33:10,955 --> 00:33:13,458 [ Laughing ] 411 00:33:13,958 --> 00:33:15,960 HARRY TOLD YOU ? 412 00:33:17,962 --> 00:33:20,965 NO, HE DIDN'T TELL ME. HE TOLD MY GRANDFATHER. 413 00:33:20,965 --> 00:33:23,468 MY GRANDFATHER AND HARRY WERE VERY CLOSE FRIENDS. 414 00:33:23,468 --> 00:33:25,470 MY GRANDFATHER TOLD ME. 415 00:33:25,470 --> 00:33:27,972 I SEE. 416 00:33:27,972 --> 00:33:31,476 ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO KNOW, PROFESSOR, DON'T HESITATE TO ASK. 417 00:33:31,976 --> 00:33:33,978 [ Students Laughing ] 418 00:33:38,483 --> 00:33:42,487 [ Chattering ] 419 00:33:54,999 --> 00:33:57,502 YOU GONNA STAY OUT OF MY WAY TODAY, WATSON ? 420 00:33:59,504 --> 00:34:01,506 HEY, WAIT A SECOND. 421 00:34:04,509 --> 00:34:07,011 WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT ? 422 00:34:07,512 --> 00:34:11,015 - RON DEACON. - WHAT ? 423 00:34:11,015 --> 00:34:13,518 YOU'RE RON DEACON'S GRANDSON, AREN'T YOU ? 424 00:34:13,518 --> 00:34:15,520 I THOUGHT YOU LOOKED FAMILIAR. 425 00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:19,524 YOU GOT THAT SAME DULL LOOK IN THE EYES, 426 00:34:19,524 --> 00:34:22,026 THE SAME JUNIOR JOCKSTRAP. 427 00:34:22,026 --> 00:34:24,028 WHAT ? 428 00:34:25,029 --> 00:34:27,532 I GOT SOME BAD NEWS FOR YOU, RUSS. 429 00:34:28,032 --> 00:34:31,035 YOUR GRANDFATHER WAS BALD BY THE TIME HE GRADUATED, 430 00:34:31,035 --> 00:34:34,038 WHICH MEANS YOU'LL PROBABLY START LOSING YOUR HAIR IN-- 431 00:34:34,038 --> 00:34:37,542 HELL, WHAT TIME IS IT ? [ Whistle Blows ] 432 00:34:37,542 --> 00:34:40,545 WHAT'S GOING ON HERE ? 433 00:34:42,547 --> 00:34:44,549 NOTHING, COACH. 434 00:34:44,549 --> 00:34:46,551 COME ON ! GET YOUR FANNIES IN ACTION ! 435 00:34:46,551 --> 00:34:49,554 GET YOUR BUTTS IN GEAR ! LET'S GO, LET'S GO, LET'S GO ! 436 00:34:58,896 --> 00:35:01,399 DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME. 437 00:35:01,399 --> 00:35:03,901 [ Man ] RUNNERS SET. 438 00:35:05,403 --> 00:35:06,904 [ Starter Gun Fires ] 439 00:35:15,413 --> 00:35:17,415 GO, GO, GO ! 440 00:35:43,941 --> 00:35:45,943 [ Jack ] WATCH THIS, HONEY. 441 00:35:57,455 --> 00:35:58,956 YEAH ! 442 00:36:05,963 --> 00:36:07,465 [ Jack ] I'M EXHAUSTED. 443 00:36:07,965 --> 00:36:11,469 I GOTTA CUT DOWN ON THOSE PUSH-UPS. 444 00:36:11,469 --> 00:36:15,973 LOOK WHAT YOU GET FOR FIRST PLACE. 445 00:36:15,973 --> 00:36:18,476 SECOND PLACE, YOU GET A HUG FROM A PUDGY COACH. 446 00:36:18,476 --> 00:36:20,978 DAVID ! YOU QUALIFIED ! 447 00:36:20,978 --> 00:36:23,981 I'D HAVE BLOWN HIS DOORS OFF IF I WASN'T WEARING THESE WEDGIES. 448 00:36:23,981 --> 00:36:26,984 YEAH, BUT YOU MADE IT ! YOU MADE IT ! 449 00:36:35,493 --> 00:36:37,495 HI. 450 00:36:37,495 --> 00:36:39,997 HI. 451 00:36:39,997 --> 00:36:43,501 YOU'RE MAKING QUITE A NAME FOR YOURSELF TODAY. 452 00:36:44,001 --> 00:36:47,004 YOU QUALIFIED, DIDN'T YOU ? 453 00:36:49,006 --> 00:36:54,011 HEY, IS THAT TRUE ABOUT TRUMAN'S MIDDLE NAME ? THAT'S WHAT HE TOLD ME. 454 00:36:54,011 --> 00:36:56,514 NO, HE TOLD YOUR GRANDFATHER. 455 00:36:56,514 --> 00:37:00,017 THAT'S RIGHT. YEAH. [ Laughs ] 456 00:37:00,017 --> 00:37:03,521 WELL, DID HE TELL YOU A LOT ABOUT HARRY TRUMAN ? 457 00:37:07,024 --> 00:37:10,528 EVERYTHING HE KNOWS. 458 00:37:10,528 --> 00:37:15,533 LISTEN, I'M DOING THIS PAPER ON HIM IN OUR CLASS, AND, UH... 459 00:37:15,533 --> 00:37:19,036 I'D MUCH RATHER TALK TO YOU THAN PROFESSOR SWIVET. 460 00:37:19,036 --> 00:37:21,539 THAT'S FLATTERING. OH, NO, I DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY. 461 00:37:22,039 --> 00:37:24,542 I-I JUST-- I'D BE GLAD TO. 462 00:37:24,542 --> 00:37:27,044 NOW, THIS WEEKEND'S NO GOOD. 463 00:37:27,044 --> 00:37:30,548 IT'LL HAVE TO BE MONDAY NIGHT... OVER DINNER. 464 00:37:30,548 --> 00:37:34,051 AROUND 8:00. I'LL COME BY FOR YOU. 465 00:37:36,554 --> 00:37:39,056 [ Sighs ] OKAY. 466 00:37:39,056 --> 00:37:42,560 OKAY, GREAT. I'M TRI OMEGA. 467 00:37:43,060 --> 00:37:46,063 [ Jack ] OH, YES, "TRY TO MAKE YA." I KNOW THEM WELL. 468 00:37:46,063 --> 00:37:48,566 BYE-BYE. BYE. 469 00:38:00,578 --> 00:38:02,580 [ Gasps ] 470 00:38:07,084 --> 00:38:10,588 [ Footsteps ] 471 00:38:13,591 --> 00:38:15,092 HELLO, DAVID. 472 00:38:15,593 --> 00:38:18,095 I'M GLAD YOU COULD COME OVER. 473 00:38:18,095 --> 00:38:21,098 DAVID, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET MY PARENTS. 474 00:38:25,603 --> 00:38:28,105 WHAT HAPPENED ? WAS THERE AN ACCIDENT ? 475 00:38:28,105 --> 00:38:30,107 NO, DAVID. 476 00:38:30,107 --> 00:38:32,610 IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU. 477 00:38:32,610 --> 00:38:35,112 HELLO. 478 00:38:37,114 --> 00:38:39,116 DON'T WORRY. IT WON'T COME OFF. 479 00:38:41,118 --> 00:38:43,621 ROBIN TELL US YOU'RE INVOLVED IN TRACK. 480 00:38:43,621 --> 00:38:46,624 I GO A COUPLE TIMES A WEEK. I USUALLY BREAK EVEN. 481 00:38:53,130 --> 00:38:57,134 # ROBIN'S GOT A BOYFRIEND ROBIN'S GOT A BOYFRIEND ## 482 00:38:57,134 --> 00:38:59,637 WANT ME TO HIT HER ? 483 00:38:59,637 --> 00:39:04,642 HAVE SOME MORE TO EAT, DAVID. YOU'RE STILL SHRINKING-- UH, GROWING. 484 00:39:05,142 --> 00:39:08,145 TELL ME, DAVID, HOW DO YOU PLAN TO SUPPORT OUR DAUGHTER ? 485 00:39:08,646 --> 00:39:11,148 SUPPORT HER ? SHE WANTS SUPPORT, SHE CAN BUY A CANE. 486 00:39:11,649 --> 00:39:15,152 YOU KNOW, HE KNEW HARRY TRUMAN PERSONALLY. 487 00:39:15,152 --> 00:39:18,155 I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF HE HUNG AROUND WITH ULYSSES S. GRANT ! 488 00:39:18,155 --> 00:39:21,659 WE'RE THINKING OF TRAVELING THROUGH EUROPE TOGETHER THIS SUMMER. 489 00:39:22,159 --> 00:39:25,162 THAT SHOULD BE FASCINATING FOR YOU, DAVID. 490 00:39:25,162 --> 00:39:27,164 IT'S CHANGED A LOT SINCE THE RENAISSANCE. 491 00:39:28,666 --> 00:39:30,668 I KNEW THIS WOULDN'T WORK OUT. 492 00:39:30,668 --> 00:39:33,170 OUR AGES ARE TOO FAR APART. 493 00:39:33,170 --> 00:39:35,673 THEY'D BE CLOSER IF YOU DROP A ZERO FROM YOURS. 494 00:39:35,673 --> 00:39:39,677 LOOK, MISTER, YOU BETTER HOPE YOU NEVER GROW OLD. I'M HOPING YOU WON'T. 495 00:39:39,677 --> 00:39:41,679 [ Pounding, Door Opens ] 496 00:39:41,679 --> 00:39:45,683 DON'T BE ALARMED, FOLKS. WE'RE TAKING THIS MAN BACK WHERE HE BELONGS. 497 00:39:45,683 --> 00:39:50,187 HE'S NOT DAVID WATSON. HE'S JACK WATSON, DAVID'S 81-YEAR-OLD GRANDFATHER. 498 00:39:50,187 --> 00:39:53,190 - WHAT ? - THEN WHERE'S DAVID ? 499 00:39:53,190 --> 00:39:55,693 THIS IS A NIGHTMARE. 500 00:39:57,695 --> 00:40:02,199 [ Knocking ] 501 00:40:02,199 --> 00:40:04,201 [ Mumbling ] 502 00:40:04,201 --> 00:40:06,203 [ Friend ] DAVID. 503 00:40:06,203 --> 00:40:08,205 [ Knocking ] 504 00:40:08,706 --> 00:40:12,209 [ Groaning ] [ Friend ] DAVID ! 505 00:40:12,209 --> 00:40:16,714 [ Knocking ] IT'S ME. IT'S BARRETT. [ Mumbling ] 506 00:40:19,717 --> 00:40:23,721 [ Barrett ] COME ON, WE'VE GOT TO FINISH THE MURAL TONIGHT. 507 00:40:24,221 --> 00:40:27,224 [ Jack ] MURIEL ? WHO'S MURIEL ? 508 00:40:33,731 --> 00:40:35,733 I DID THIS ? 509 00:40:37,735 --> 00:40:42,740 IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE NOW THAT I'M IN MY NEW PICASSO PHASE. 510 00:40:42,740 --> 00:40:45,242 LET'S JUST WORRY ABOUT THAT AFTER YOU FINISH THIS, ALL RIGHT ? 511 00:40:45,242 --> 00:40:48,746 DAVID, CAN YOU HELP ME WITH THIS ? COME ON ! 512 00:40:48,746 --> 00:40:50,748 OH, SORRY. 513 00:40:55,753 --> 00:40:57,755 RIGHT THERE. 514 00:40:59,757 --> 00:41:01,759 I CAN'T DO THIS. 515 00:41:02,259 --> 00:41:03,761 WHY NOT ? 516 00:41:03,761 --> 00:41:06,764 [ Jack ] BECAUSE I CAN'T PAINT, YOU LITTLE PEST. 517 00:41:07,264 --> 00:41:09,767 MY HEAD IS STILL A LITTLE FUZZY AFTER THE ACCIDENT. 518 00:41:10,267 --> 00:41:12,770 THAT NEVER STOPPED YOU BEFORE. 519 00:41:17,775 --> 00:41:20,778 WHY DO YOU DO THIS ? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ? 520 00:41:20,778 --> 00:41:22,780 HELPING, SET UP, CLEAN UP. 521 00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:25,783 THE SHIT WORK. WHY ? 522 00:41:25,783 --> 00:41:28,786 THAT'S NOT ALL I DO, IS IT ? 523 00:41:28,786 --> 00:41:31,288 I DON'T KNOW WHY I HELP YOU, DAVID. 524 00:41:31,288 --> 00:41:33,791 THIS IS FUN FOR ME. 525 00:41:33,791 --> 00:41:35,793 I LIKE YOUR WORK. 526 00:41:36,293 --> 00:41:38,796 SOMEBODY'S GOT TO SHINE THE LIGHT. 527 00:41:42,299 --> 00:41:44,301 YOU'RE OKAY. 528 00:41:54,311 --> 00:41:56,814 DAVID ? 529 00:41:56,814 --> 00:42:00,317 DAVID, CAN YOU HEAR ME ? COME ON, DAVID. 530 00:42:00,317 --> 00:42:02,820 I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. IT'S ME. IT'S JACK. 531 00:42:03,821 --> 00:42:05,823 DAVID ? 532 00:42:07,825 --> 00:42:10,828 UH, IT'S HIM, ALL RIGHT. IT'S JACK. 533 00:42:12,329 --> 00:42:15,332 OH, CHARLIE-- 534 00:42:16,834 --> 00:42:19,336 IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU, CHARLIE. 535 00:42:19,336 --> 00:42:23,007 YEAH. EASY, DAVID. YOU'RE CUTTING OFF MY CIRCULATION. 536 00:42:23,007 --> 00:42:25,009 OH, SORRY. 537 00:42:25,009 --> 00:42:27,011 I'M GLAD YOU'RE ALL RIGHT. 538 00:42:37,021 --> 00:42:40,524 HE'S NOT DOING TOO GOOD, HUH ? 539 00:42:43,027 --> 00:42:45,529 GODDAMN IT, JACK. 540 00:42:47,531 --> 00:42:49,533 WE'VE GOT PLANS. 541 00:42:53,537 --> 00:42:56,040 POKER TUESDAY, THE TRACK-- 542 00:42:59,043 --> 00:43:02,546 NONE OF IT'S GONNA BE ANY FUN WITHOUT YOU. 543 00:43:04,548 --> 00:43:08,052 JACK... PLEASE-- 544 00:43:10,554 --> 00:43:14,558 AH, WHAT'S THE USE ? [ Sniffs ] 545 00:43:17,061 --> 00:43:19,563 NO, GO ON. 546 00:43:19,563 --> 00:43:22,066 HE CAN'T HEAR ME. 547 00:43:22,066 --> 00:43:24,568 SURE, HE CAN. 548 00:43:38,082 --> 00:43:40,584 CHARLIE ? YEAH ? 549 00:43:40,584 --> 00:43:44,088 YOU REMEMBER MY WISH AT THE PARTY ? 550 00:43:44,088 --> 00:43:48,092 YOU MADE A WISH ? NO, JACK DID. 551 00:43:48,092 --> 00:43:51,595 OH, I SEE. JACK DID, YOU DIDN'T. NO. 552 00:43:51,595 --> 00:43:57,601 DO YOU BELIEVE A PERSON CAN GO FROM ONE BODY TO ANOTHER ? 553 00:43:57,601 --> 00:44:00,604 NOT IF THAT PERSON'S GOT A WEAK BACK. [ Chuckles ] 554 00:44:00,604 --> 00:44:04,608 THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN. I MEAN THEIR SOUL. 555 00:44:04,608 --> 00:44:09,613 LOOK INTO MY EYES, CHARLIE. WHAT DO YOU SEE ? 556 00:44:13,617 --> 00:44:17,121 NOW, DON'T YOU SEE EXPERIENCE, WISDOM ? 557 00:44:17,621 --> 00:44:19,623 EH ? 558 00:44:19,623 --> 00:44:22,626 I'LL TELL YOU THE TRUTH, KID. I DON'T SEE ANYTHING. WHICH ONE IS THE WISDOM ? 559 00:44:23,127 --> 00:44:26,130 FORGET "KID." YOU'RE THE KID. 560 00:44:26,130 --> 00:44:28,632 I'M 81 YEARS OLD. 561 00:44:30,134 --> 00:44:32,636 YEAH, UH, LOOK, DAVID, 562 00:44:32,636 --> 00:44:36,140 MAYBE WE OUGHT TO GO BACK TO THE HOSPITAL AND FIND YOU A NICE NURSE. 563 00:44:36,140 --> 00:44:39,143 NO, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO GOES FOR NURSES. 564 00:44:39,143 --> 00:44:41,145 AND THAT'S NOT ALL I KNOW. 565 00:44:41,645 --> 00:44:44,148 AQUEDUCT, 1942. 566 00:44:44,648 --> 00:44:47,651 THE $1,200 PAYOFF ON THE DAILY DOUBLE... 567 00:44:47,651 --> 00:44:50,654 FROM THE TICKET YOU FOUND ON THE FLOOR. 568 00:44:50,654 --> 00:44:54,158 $1,217.28, TO BE PRECISE, 569 00:44:54,158 --> 00:44:57,161 ON A HORSE NAMED PRUNE DANISH. 570 00:44:57,661 --> 00:45:00,664 COME ON, COME ON. YOUR GRANDPA COULD HAVE TOLD YOU THAT. 571 00:45:00,664 --> 00:45:05,669 RIGHT, SURE. AND MAYBE HE SAT HIS GRANDSON DOWN UPON HIS KNEE... 572 00:45:06,170 --> 00:45:08,672 AND TOLD HIM ABOUT THE TIME HE AND HIS FRIEND CHARLIE... 573 00:45:08,672 --> 00:45:12,176 GOT SNOWED IN WITH THE ST. BARTHOLOMEW ALL-GIRLS CHOIR... 574 00:45:12,176 --> 00:45:15,179 AND DIDN'T GET DUG OUT UNTIL EASTER. 575 00:45:15,179 --> 00:45:20,184 OR HOW ONCE UPON A TIME THEY GOT DRUNK WITH TWO U.S.O. GIRLS AND-- 576 00:45:22,186 --> 00:45:26,190 # BY THE LIGHT # 577 00:45:27,691 --> 00:45:30,194 # OF THE SILVERY MOON # 578 00:45:31,695 --> 00:45:35,199 # YOUR SISTER JUNE # 579 00:45:35,199 --> 00:45:37,701 # DROPPED HER PANTS IN MY ROOM # 580 00:45:39,703 --> 00:45:41,205 # AND NEXT DOOR # 581 00:45:42,706 --> 00:45:46,210 # WE WERE WITH ELEANOR # 582 00:45:46,210 --> 00:45:50,214 # SHE WANTED MORE # 583 00:45:50,214 --> 00:45:53,217 # BUT WE HAD SOME BEFORE ## 584 00:45:53,217 --> 00:45:55,219 JACK ! 585 00:45:55,219 --> 00:45:57,721 CHARLIE, I GOT MY WISH. 586 00:45:58,722 --> 00:46:00,724 I'M 18 AGAIN. 587 00:46:01,225 --> 00:46:04,228 WHAT ? [ Laughing ] EASY, CHARLIE. 588 00:46:04,728 --> 00:46:08,732 H-HOW DID YOU PULL IT OFF ? I DIDN'T. 589 00:46:08,732 --> 00:46:11,735 I DON'T KNOW. THE ACCIDENT-- SOMEHOW WE GOT SWITCHED. 590 00:46:11,735 --> 00:46:14,238 YOU-- 591 00:46:14,238 --> 00:46:17,241 SO DAVID'S IN-- 592 00:46:18,742 --> 00:46:20,244 WHAT HAPPENS TO HIM ? 593 00:46:20,744 --> 00:46:23,247 I WISH I KNEW. OH, MY GOD. 594 00:46:23,747 --> 00:46:26,250 JACK WATSON, YOU HAD IT ALL. 595 00:46:26,250 --> 00:46:28,252 AND NOW YOU REALLY HAVE IT ALL. 596 00:46:28,252 --> 00:46:32,256 GEE, I WISH I COULD DO IT WITH YOU. 597 00:46:32,256 --> 00:46:34,258 SO DO I, CHARLIE. 598 00:46:36,260 --> 00:46:38,762 YOU WERE ALWAYS LIKE A KID BROTHER TO ME. 599 00:46:38,762 --> 00:46:43,767 THIS DOESN'T HAVE TO CHANGE ANYTHING BETWEEN US. OH, NO, NO, NO. 600 00:46:45,769 --> 00:46:48,772 # BY THE LIGHT # 601 00:46:49,273 --> 00:46:51,275 # OF THE SILVERY MOON ## 602 00:47:03,287 --> 00:47:06,790 WHAT'S THE MATTER, HONEY ? YOU'VE BARELY TOUCHED YOUR FOOD. 603 00:47:07,791 --> 00:47:09,793 I'M NOT VERY HUNGRY. 604 00:47:09,793 --> 00:47:12,296 I THOUGHT SOLE FLORENTINE WAS YOUR FAVORITE. 605 00:47:29,813 --> 00:47:32,316 LOOK WHAT I ALMOST FORGOT. 606 00:47:32,316 --> 00:47:34,818 CAULIFLOWER AU GRATIN. 607 00:47:36,320 --> 00:47:39,323 PLEASE, I CAN'T EAT ANOTHER BITE. 608 00:47:39,823 --> 00:47:42,326 OH. 609 00:47:42,326 --> 00:47:46,830 YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WASTE A TOTALLY GOOD MEAL. NOW, EAT IT. 610 00:47:46,830 --> 00:47:48,832 ARNOLD, HE DOESN'T HAVE TO EAT IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO. 611 00:47:49,333 --> 00:47:51,835 HE'S BEEN THROUGH QUITE A LOT. 612 00:47:52,336 --> 00:47:54,338 WHAT ? THE ACCIDENT INJURED HIS TASTE BUDS ? 613 00:47:54,338 --> 00:47:56,340 AND IS THAT HIS EXCUSE FOR DRESSING LIKE THAT ? 614 00:47:56,340 --> 00:47:58,342 OR DID YOU HAVE ANOTHER ACCIDENT ON THE WAY OVER HERE ? 615 00:47:58,342 --> 00:48:01,345 IT WAS SERIOUS ENOUGH TO PUT YOUR FATHER IN THE HOSPITAL. 616 00:48:01,345 --> 00:48:04,848 I WASN'T TALKING TO MY FATHER, WAS I ? WATCH IT. 617 00:48:04,848 --> 00:48:06,850 TRICK QUESTION. 618 00:48:06,850 --> 00:48:10,854 AND SPEAKING OF DAD, I THINK YOU OUGHT TO GO DOWN AND VISIT HIM TOMORROW. 619 00:48:19,363 --> 00:48:22,866 YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO YOUR WIFE MORE OFTEN, ARNIE. 620 00:48:22,866 --> 00:48:25,869 SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN ONE STEP AHEAD OF YOU. 621 00:48:28,372 --> 00:48:31,375 YOU GOT ANY DECENT COGNAC IN THIS PLACE ? 622 00:48:32,876 --> 00:48:35,379 [ Jack ] HE'S RIGHT ABOUT ONE THING. 623 00:48:35,379 --> 00:48:37,381 CLOTHES MAKE THE MAN, RIGHT ? 624 00:48:42,886 --> 00:48:45,389 [ Jack ] MAYBE THEY CAN MAKE ONE OUT OF THIS. 625 00:48:45,389 --> 00:48:47,391 [ Chuckling Softly ] 626 00:48:50,394 --> 00:48:51,895 [ Sighs ] 627 00:48:52,396 --> 00:48:55,399 ## 628 00:48:55,399 --> 00:48:59,403 GOD, MADDY, IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU. 629 00:48:59,903 --> 00:49:04,408 WELL, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO, DAVID. 630 00:49:05,909 --> 00:49:07,911 WE HAVE TO TALK. 631 00:49:09,913 --> 00:49:11,915 SURE. COME IN. 632 00:49:11,915 --> 00:49:15,419 ## 633 00:49:15,419 --> 00:49:19,423 WHO'S THAT ? JUST SOME FRIENDS, DAVID. 634 00:49:19,923 --> 00:49:25,429 IT GETS SO LONESOME NOW. COME, WE CAN TALK IN HERE. 635 00:49:25,429 --> 00:49:28,432 UH, CAN I GET YOU A DRINK ? 636 00:49:28,432 --> 00:49:31,435 SURE. VODKA MARTINI STRAIGHT UP WITH AN OLIVE. 637 00:49:31,935 --> 00:49:34,438 JUST LIKE YOUR GRANDFATHER. 638 00:49:34,438 --> 00:49:37,441 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 639 00:49:40,444 --> 00:49:45,449 [ Jack ] CUTE KID. HOW DO I TELL HER I'M SUBLETTING MY GRANDSON'S BODY ? 640 00:49:54,458 --> 00:49:56,460 NOW THAT'S A FACE. 641 00:49:56,460 --> 00:50:01,965 [ Jack ] I LOOK EXACTLY LIKE I DID 20 YEARS AGO-- OLD. 642 00:50:07,971 --> 00:50:10,474 IT'S GOOD TO BE HOME. 643 00:50:18,982 --> 00:50:20,984 [ Sighs ] 644 00:50:24,488 --> 00:50:26,490 THANKS, HONEY. 645 00:50:28,492 --> 00:50:30,494 SORRY. [ Giggles ] 646 00:50:30,494 --> 00:50:34,498 WHAT I'VE GOT TO SAY IS DIFFICULT. 647 00:50:34,498 --> 00:50:37,501 OH, DAVID, YOU CAN TALK TO ME. 648 00:50:37,501 --> 00:50:41,004 MADELYN, I'VE GONE THROUGH SOME VERY STRANGE CHANGES RECENTLY. 649 00:50:42,005 --> 00:50:44,508 THAT HAPPENS AT YOUR AGE. 650 00:50:45,008 --> 00:50:49,012 - THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN. - I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. 651 00:50:49,012 --> 00:50:52,516 DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE INSIDE ANOTHER PERSON'S BODY ? 652 00:50:52,516 --> 00:50:57,020 - DO YOU ? - I'M JUST BEGINNING TO FIND OUT. 653 00:50:57,020 --> 00:50:59,523 OH. 654 00:51:02,025 --> 00:51:05,028 I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH. 655 00:51:05,529 --> 00:51:08,031 I MEAN, ONE'S FIRST SEXUAL EXPERIENCES... 656 00:51:08,532 --> 00:51:10,534 CAN BE AWKWARD AND DISAPPOINTING, 657 00:51:10,534 --> 00:51:12,536 EVEN FRIGHTENING. 658 00:51:12,536 --> 00:51:18,041 OH, DAVID, I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME TO ME. 659 00:51:26,550 --> 00:51:30,053 [ Jack ] WAIT A MINUTE. I HAVEN'T EVEN TOLD HER IT'S ME YET. 660 00:51:32,055 --> 00:51:34,057 WHAT ARE YOU DOING ? 661 00:51:34,057 --> 00:51:38,061 [ Purring ] 662 00:51:38,061 --> 00:51:42,065 NOW YOU JUST RELAX, DAVID. 663 00:51:42,566 --> 00:51:46,069 NO, NO, THIS IS WHAT I WANT TOO. WHAT ABOUT GRANDPA ? 664 00:51:46,570 --> 00:51:49,072 OH, DAVID, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S BEEN LIKE. 665 00:51:49,573 --> 00:51:54,077 I MEAN, JACK'S FUN. HE'S GOT STYLE AND CHARM AND MONEY. 666 00:51:54,077 --> 00:51:57,581 I WILL BE WELL PROVIDED FOR THANKS TO JACK, 667 00:51:57,581 --> 00:52:00,083 BUT HE'S AN OLD MAN. 668 00:52:00,083 --> 00:52:02,085 [ Jack ] I'LL KILL HER. 669 00:52:02,085 --> 00:52:06,590 A WOMAN MY AGE NEEDS PASSION AND EXCITEMENT. 670 00:52:06,590 --> 00:52:08,592 [ David Gasps ] 671 00:52:08,592 --> 00:52:11,595 [ Panting ] AND PHYSICAL AFFECTION. 672 00:52:11,595 --> 00:52:13,597 YOU'RE SAYING YOU AND GRANDPA NEVER-- 673 00:52:14,097 --> 00:52:15,599 [ Laughing ] 674 00:52:16,099 --> 00:52:19,102 THAT'S A RATHER PERSONAL QUESTION, DAVID. 675 00:52:19,102 --> 00:52:24,107 OF COURSE NOT. BELIEVE ME, IT WAS STRICTLY PLATONIC. 676 00:52:24,107 --> 00:52:26,109 [ Jack ] PLATONIC ? 677 00:52:26,109 --> 00:52:28,111 DAVID, WHAT'S WRONG ? 678 00:52:28,111 --> 00:52:32,115 I THINK I'M HAVING AN ANGINA ATTACK. 679 00:52:32,115 --> 00:52:34,618 WHAT ? YOU'RE LEAVING ? 680 00:52:34,618 --> 00:52:38,121 ## 681 00:52:38,121 --> 00:52:40,624 I DON'T WANT TO HIT A LADY, HORTON, 682 00:52:41,124 --> 00:52:43,126 BUT I WOULDN'T MIND HITTING HER. 683 00:52:49,132 --> 00:52:52,636 [ Jack ] PLATONIC. PLATONIC. 684 00:52:53,136 --> 00:52:55,639 PLATONIC, MY ASS. 685 00:52:57,140 --> 00:53:01,144 [ Giggling, Sighing ] 686 00:53:05,148 --> 00:53:07,150 [ Sighs ] 687 00:53:07,150 --> 00:53:10,654 OOH ! OH, THANK YOU. 688 00:53:10,654 --> 00:53:13,156 HE'S ADORABLE. THANK YOU, MADAM. 689 00:53:13,156 --> 00:53:16,660 WHERE'S THE BAR ? RIGHT THERE. 690 00:53:16,660 --> 00:53:18,662 MAKE MINE A VODKA MARTINI... 691 00:53:18,662 --> 00:53:21,164 STRAIGHT UP W-WITH AN OLIVE. 692 00:53:23,667 --> 00:53:27,671 WE MET THIS MORNING AT HOPPY HENDERSON'S FUNERAL. HOW IS MR. HENDERSON ? 693 00:53:28,171 --> 00:53:31,174 DEAD. OH, YES, OF COURSE. 694 00:53:31,174 --> 00:53:35,178 [ Horton ] SHE DOES SEEM QUITE YOUNG. 695 00:53:38,181 --> 00:53:42,686 I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND MY SAYING SO, SIR, BUT COULDN'T THIS BE DANGEROUS ? 696 00:53:43,186 --> 00:53:46,189 YOU'RE RIGHT. HAVE SOME OXYGEN STANDING BY. 697 00:53:46,189 --> 00:53:48,692 YES, SIR. 698 00:53:48,692 --> 00:53:51,695 I'LL CALL YOU IF SHE PASSES OUT. 699 00:54:06,209 --> 00:54:09,212 JACK... PLEASE COME BACK. 700 00:54:09,212 --> 00:54:11,214 DO YOU MIND IF I FINISH THIS CIGAR ? 701 00:54:11,715 --> 00:54:15,218 YES. COME BACK. I CAN'T WAIT. 702 00:54:15,218 --> 00:54:20,223 IT'S A DIRTY JOB, BUT SOMEBODY'S GOTTA DO IT. 703 00:54:31,735 --> 00:54:34,738 [ Jack ] PLATONIC. 704 00:54:40,243 --> 00:54:43,747 I TELL YOU, THIS FEELS GOOD, CHARLIE. 705 00:54:43,747 --> 00:54:45,749 A NICE LAZY DAY, 706 00:54:46,249 --> 00:54:48,251 LETTING THE SUN WARM YOUR FACE... 707 00:54:48,251 --> 00:54:51,254 AND WATCHING THE WORLD GO BY. 708 00:54:52,255 --> 00:54:54,257 HEY, GUYS, 709 00:54:54,257 --> 00:54:56,259 LET ME ROLL A FEW. 710 00:55:01,765 --> 00:55:05,268 OKAY, GENTLEMEN, STEP ASIDE. LET ME SHOW YOU HOW THIS IS DONE. 711 00:55:05,769 --> 00:55:09,272 MAYBE YOU'D RATHER BE HANG GLIDING OR SOMETHING. 712 00:55:12,275 --> 00:55:14,277 MAYBE I SHOULD TELL THEM. 713 00:55:14,277 --> 00:55:19,783 SURE. WHY NOT ? WHAT'S A FEW MORE PEOPLE IN THE INTENSIVE CARE UNIT ? 714 00:55:20,784 --> 00:55:23,286 OKAY, OKAY, IT'S MY TURN HERE. HERE WE GO. 715 00:55:23,787 --> 00:55:25,288 [ Chuckling ] 716 00:55:30,293 --> 00:55:31,795 [ Screaming ] 717 00:55:36,299 --> 00:55:39,302 [ Poker Chips Clinking ] 718 00:55:47,811 --> 00:55:52,816 ALL RIGHT, GENTLEMEN. DOWN AND DIRTY. 719 00:55:56,820 --> 00:55:58,321 [ Laughing ] 720 00:56:00,323 --> 00:56:03,326 POKER ? DUH. 721 00:56:06,329 --> 00:56:08,832 WHAT'S WITH THE CLOWN SUIT, WATSON ? 722 00:56:08,832 --> 00:56:10,834 [ Frat Brother ] ISN'T HE NEGLECTING HIS SCHOOLWORK ? 723 00:56:11,334 --> 00:56:14,838 [ Laughing ] [ Russ ] THAT'S RIGHT, WATSON. 724 00:56:14,838 --> 00:56:17,841 DON'T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD BE AT THE TYPEWRITER ? 725 00:56:18,341 --> 00:56:22,846 YOU BOYS DON'T REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT SUBJECT, DO YOU ? 726 00:56:25,348 --> 00:56:27,851 IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO PLAY, JUST SAY SO. 727 00:56:27,851 --> 00:56:31,855 I GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN STAND HERE AND LISTEN TO YOUR CHATTER. 728 00:56:31,855 --> 00:56:34,858 YOU GOT THE CASH ? 729 00:56:40,363 --> 00:56:43,867 YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY OKLAHOMA ? FIVE CARD DRAW WITH A ROLL ? 730 00:56:43,867 --> 00:56:45,869 [ Snickering ] 731 00:56:45,869 --> 00:56:49,372 I COULD BLUFF YOU GUYS INTO THINKING THAT I WAS A REAL MARK, 732 00:56:49,372 --> 00:56:52,375 BUT I KNOW HOW TO PLAY OKLAHOMA... 733 00:56:52,876 --> 00:56:54,878 AND ROOSTER BACK... 734 00:56:54,878 --> 00:56:56,880 AND NICKEL HAYRIDE... 735 00:56:57,380 --> 00:56:58,882 AND ALASKAN PULL... 736 00:56:59,382 --> 00:57:02,385 AND QUITE A FEW OTHERS THAT YOU BOYS HAVE PROBABLY NEVER HEARD OF. 737 00:57:02,385 --> 00:57:05,889 THE FACT IS, GENTLEMEN, IF I SIT DOWN AT THAT TABLE WITH ALL OF YOU NOW, 738 00:57:06,389 --> 00:57:07,891 I'M GONNA CLEAN YOU ALL OUT. 739 00:57:08,391 --> 00:57:10,393 [ Laughing ] 740 00:57:10,894 --> 00:57:12,896 BECAUSE WHEN IT COMES TO PLAYING CARDS, 741 00:57:12,896 --> 00:57:15,899 YOU'RE JUST A BUNCH OF KIDS TO ME. 742 00:57:15,899 --> 00:57:17,901 YOU SEE, THAT'S THE CANDY, 743 00:57:17,901 --> 00:57:21,905 AND YOU'RE THE BABIES, AND I-- 744 00:57:22,405 --> 00:57:24,908 I'M GONNA TAKE IT FROM YOU. 745 00:57:29,913 --> 00:57:31,915 HAVE A SEAT. 746 00:57:47,931 --> 00:57:50,934 GET AWAY FROM ME. 747 00:57:51,434 --> 00:57:52,936 ALL RIGHT. 748 00:57:57,941 --> 00:58:00,944 [ David ] THAT'S A REAL POKER FACE, J.P. 749 00:58:00,944 --> 00:58:04,948 YOU LOOK LIKE YOU GOT SOMETHING CRAWLING UP YOUR LEG. 750 00:58:10,453 --> 00:58:12,455 [ Sighs ] 751 00:58:15,959 --> 00:58:18,962 [ Frat Brother ] NO, THAT'S OUT OF MY LEAGUE. 752 00:58:18,962 --> 00:58:20,964 I'M OUT. 753 00:58:48,157 --> 00:58:50,159 I'M IN. 754 00:58:50,159 --> 00:58:52,662 JUST YOU AND ME, DWEEB. 755 00:58:52,662 --> 00:58:54,664 AND, UH, 756 00:58:54,664 --> 00:58:57,667 [ Sighs ] I THINK I'LL BE, UH, 757 00:58:57,667 --> 00:58:59,669 BE RAISING. 758 00:59:08,177 --> 00:59:10,179 I'M IN. 759 00:59:12,682 --> 00:59:15,685 THAT'S ABOUT $500. LET'S SEE IT. 760 00:59:16,686 --> 00:59:19,689 I'M GOOD FOR IT. THAT SHOULD BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU. 761 00:59:20,189 --> 00:59:23,192 UNLESS YOU'RE NOT TOO SURE ABOUT YOUR HAND. 762 00:59:24,694 --> 00:59:26,696 HOW ABOUT YOUR FEET ? 763 00:59:26,696 --> 00:59:28,197 WHAT ? 764 00:59:30,700 --> 00:59:33,202 FORGET ABOUT THESE CARDS. 765 00:59:33,202 --> 00:59:35,705 WE NEVER HAVE TO LOOK AT 'EM. 766 00:59:35,705 --> 00:59:38,207 LET'S DOUBLE THE BET. 767 00:59:38,207 --> 00:59:41,711 A THOUSAND DOLLARS SAYS THAT I BEAT YOU AT THE TRACK FINALS. 768 00:59:42,211 --> 00:59:44,714 [ Onlookers Gasping, Murmuring ] 769 00:59:50,720 --> 00:59:52,221 YOU'RE ON. 770 00:59:58,728 --> 01:00:00,730 I WAS BLUFFING. 771 01:00:02,231 --> 01:00:05,234 [ Laughing ] 772 01:00:10,239 --> 01:00:12,241 YOU WERE BLUFFING. 773 01:00:13,743 --> 01:00:15,745 [ Onlooker ] OH ! 774 01:00:15,745 --> 01:00:18,247 [ Onlookers Laughing ] 775 01:00:23,252 --> 01:00:25,254 [ Russ, David ] THE TRACK. 776 01:00:30,760 --> 01:00:33,763 SO WHEN THE BET CAME AROUND TO HARRY, 777 01:00:33,763 --> 01:00:37,767 HARRY HELD UP HIS LAST DOLLAR AND HE SAYS, "HEY, GUYS, NO MORE BUMPS. 778 01:00:37,767 --> 01:00:39,769 THE BUCK STOPS HERE." 779 01:00:39,769 --> 01:00:42,772 HE FIRST SAID THAT AT A POKER GAME ? 780 01:00:42,772 --> 01:00:44,273 THAT'S RIGHT. 781 01:00:44,774 --> 01:00:48,277 I WAS REMINDED OF THAT STORY AFTER PLAYING A FEW HANDS OF POKER MYSELF RECENTLY. 782 01:00:48,277 --> 01:00:52,281 BUT I THOUGHT THAT CAME OUT OF HIS SENATORIAL CAMPAIGN IN MISSOURI. 783 01:00:52,281 --> 01:00:55,785 SEE, THAT COMES FROM GETTING ALL YOUR INFORMATION OUT OF BOOKS. 784 01:00:55,785 --> 01:00:59,789 OKAY, WHAT ABOUT DROPPING THE BOMB ON HIROSHIMA ? 785 01:00:59,789 --> 01:01:01,791 THAT MUST HAVE BEEN-- 786 01:01:01,791 --> 01:01:04,293 THE MOST DIFFICULT DECISION OF HIS CAREER. 787 01:01:04,293 --> 01:01:06,295 HE AGONIZED OVER IT. 788 01:01:06,295 --> 01:01:09,799 THEN NAGASAKI. THAT WAS A LITTLE EASIER. HE'D DONE IT ONCE ALREADY. 789 01:01:10,299 --> 01:01:12,802 AFTER THAT HE STARTED GETTING A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY. 790 01:01:13,302 --> 01:01:15,304 HE WANTED TO DROP IT ON A FEW OTHER PLACES. 791 01:01:15,304 --> 01:01:19,308 SWITZERLAND, ONCE, WHEN HE WAS HAVING TROUBLE WITH HIS WATCH. 792 01:01:19,308 --> 01:01:21,811 I HAD TO TALK HIM OUT OF IT. 793 01:01:21,811 --> 01:01:23,813 [ Chuckles ] UH, YOU'D BETTER NOT USE THAT. 794 01:01:23,813 --> 01:01:25,815 IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO VERIFY, 795 01:01:25,815 --> 01:01:28,818 AND, IF IT EVER GETS OUT, WHO KNOWS HOW THE SWISS WILL REACT. 796 01:01:30,319 --> 01:01:32,822 MORE COFFEE, DAVID ? OH, NO, THANK YOU, RITA. 797 01:01:32,822 --> 01:01:35,825 I'M SORRY, I FORGOT TO INTRODUCE YOU. RITA, THIS IS ROBIN. 798 01:01:35,825 --> 01:01:38,327 - ROBIN, RITA. - HI. 799 01:01:38,327 --> 01:01:40,329 YOU LOOK FAMILIAR. HAVE YOU BEEN IN HERE BEFORE ? 800 01:01:40,830 --> 01:01:43,833 [ Robin ] I'VE BEEN IN HERE WITH MY MOTHER A FEW TIMES. I THOUGHT SO. 801 01:01:44,333 --> 01:01:47,837 YOU LOOK JUST LIKE HER. [ Jack ] LOOK AT THIS. THE CLAWS ARE OUT. 802 01:01:47,837 --> 01:01:50,840 EASY, GIRLS. THERE'S AT LEAST TWO PORTIONS HERE. 803 01:01:58,347 --> 01:02:01,350 WHAT DO YOU SAY WE PICK THIS UP AGAIN FRIDAY NIGHT ? 804 01:02:01,851 --> 01:02:03,853 UH, I'M SORRY. 805 01:02:04,353 --> 01:02:07,356 YOU PROBABLY HAVE PLANS TO GO OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS OR RUSS OR SOMETHING. 806 01:02:07,857 --> 01:02:09,358 I WASN'T THINKING. 807 01:02:09,859 --> 01:02:11,861 [ Jack ] LISTEN TO ME. I SOUND LIKE DAVID. 808 01:02:12,361 --> 01:02:14,363 NO, I DON'T HAVE ANY PLANS, BUT... 809 01:02:14,864 --> 01:02:17,366 DAVID, NOBODY STUDIES ON FRIDAYS. 810 01:02:18,868 --> 01:02:20,870 MAYBE WE COULD, UM, 811 01:02:20,870 --> 01:02:24,874 GO TO A CLUB OR SOMETHING, HAVE SOME FUN. 812 01:02:24,874 --> 01:02:26,876 "WE" ? 813 01:02:26,876 --> 01:02:28,878 YOU AND ME. 814 01:02:29,378 --> 01:02:31,380 [ Jack ] WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME ? I CAN'T TALK. 815 01:02:31,881 --> 01:02:33,883 COME ON, LIPS, YOU CAN DO IT. MOVE. 816 01:02:34,383 --> 01:02:35,885 I'D LOVE TO. 817 01:02:36,385 --> 01:02:38,888 GREAT. IT'S A DATE. 818 01:02:38,888 --> 01:02:40,890 GREAT. 819 01:02:40,890 --> 01:02:42,892 [ Jack ] YOWZA ! 820 01:02:51,901 --> 01:02:54,403 WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN GRANDPA'S OFFICE ? 821 01:02:56,906 --> 01:02:58,908 I'M RUNNING THE SHIP NOW. 822 01:02:58,908 --> 01:03:01,410 [ Jack ] IT'S A MUTINY. 823 01:03:04,413 --> 01:03:07,416 HERE. RUN THIS DOWN TO SHIPPING. 824 01:03:12,421 --> 01:03:15,424 HOW CAN YOU DELIVER THIS MANY UNITS BY THE END OF THE MONTH ? 825 01:03:17,426 --> 01:03:19,428 COME OVER HERE. 826 01:03:21,430 --> 01:03:23,933 I'VE DESIGNED A SIMPLE WAY TO RETOOL THE LINE... 827 01:03:24,433 --> 01:03:25,935 THAT'LL INCREASE OUR PRODUCTIVITY BY 28%... 828 01:03:26,435 --> 01:03:28,938 WITHOUT A SIGNIFICANT INCREASE IN COST. 829 01:03:32,441 --> 01:03:34,443 YOU BYPASSED THE MOLDING INJECTION FUNCTION. 830 01:03:36,445 --> 01:03:40,449 I'M GLAD YOU'RE FINALLY TAKING AN INTEREST IN WHAT GOES ON AROUND HERE. 831 01:03:41,951 --> 01:03:43,953 IT'S AMAZING. 832 01:03:44,954 --> 01:03:48,457 DAVID, PLEASE DON'T LIGHT THAT. 833 01:03:56,966 --> 01:03:59,969 WHY DIDN'T YOU EVER SHOW THIS TO GRANDPA ? 834 01:03:59,969 --> 01:04:02,471 I TRIED, TIME AND AGAIN, 835 01:04:02,471 --> 01:04:04,473 AND HE ALWAYS IGNORED ME. 836 01:04:04,473 --> 01:04:07,977 A LONG TIME AGO HE STUCK ME IN SALES AND FORGOT ABOUT ME. 837 01:04:08,477 --> 01:04:10,479 I DON'T BELONG IN SALES. 838 01:04:10,980 --> 01:04:12,481 I BELONG IN R AND D. 839 01:04:12,982 --> 01:04:16,986 NOW I CAN FINALLY DO WHAT I SHOULD HAVE BEEN DOING ALL ALONG. 840 01:04:16,986 --> 01:04:19,989 I WISH THIS COULD'VE HAPPENED DIFFERENTLY. 841 01:04:19,989 --> 01:04:22,491 I'D LIKE HIM TO SEE ME... 842 01:04:22,491 --> 01:04:24,493 LIKE THIS. 843 01:04:26,495 --> 01:04:28,998 I WISH HE'D JUST GIVEN ME THE CHANCE. 844 01:04:39,508 --> 01:04:43,012 GET THIS TO SHIPPING, AND THEN GO STRAIGHT TO THE ACCOUNTING DEPARTMENT. 845 01:04:43,012 --> 01:04:46,015 THEY GOT A MOUNTAIN OF FILING THAT'S PILED UP SINCE YOU WERE HERE LAST. 846 01:05:06,035 --> 01:05:08,037 HEY, UH, SWEETHEART, 847 01:05:08,037 --> 01:05:10,039 CALL AN OFFICE BOY. 848 01:05:10,539 --> 01:05:13,542 [ Shouting, Laughing ] ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS, SETTLE DOWN, LISTEN UP. 849 01:05:13,542 --> 01:05:17,046 NOW, WE'RE HERE TO DISCUSS THE ANNUAL CELEBRATION AND RALLY... 850 01:05:17,546 --> 01:05:21,050 THAT'LL TAKE PLACE ON THE EVE OF THE INTERCOLLEGIATE MEET. 851 01:05:21,050 --> 01:05:25,054 - ANYBODY HAVE ANY THOUGHTS ? - WHAT ABOUT A TOGA PARTY LIKE THEY USED TO HAVE ? 852 01:05:25,054 --> 01:05:28,557 LOTS OF BEER, ROCK AND ROLL AND EV-- [ Loud Snore ] 853 01:05:29,058 --> 01:05:32,061 [ Whistles ] [ All Laughing ] 854 01:05:32,061 --> 01:05:35,064 - A TOGA PARTY ? - [ Laughing Continues ] 855 01:05:36,565 --> 01:05:38,567 GENTLEMEN, BACK IN MY DAY-- 856 01:05:38,567 --> 01:05:42,571 YOUR DAY ? WHEN WAS THIS, NURSERY SCHOOL ? 857 01:05:42,571 --> 01:05:44,573 [ Laughing Continues ] [ Mutters ] FUNNY. VERY CUTE. 858 01:05:45,074 --> 01:05:47,076 BACK IN MY GRANDFATHER'S DAY, 859 01:05:47,076 --> 01:05:49,578 JACK WATSON'S DAY-- 860 01:05:49,578 --> 01:05:51,580 OUT. OUT. 861 01:05:51,580 --> 01:05:56,085 NOW, THEY KNEW HOW TO HAVE A GOOD TIME. LET'S DO IT THAT WAY. 862 01:05:56,585 --> 01:05:59,588 LET'S PUT ON THE RITZ, GO ALL THE WAY OUT. 863 01:05:59,588 --> 01:06:02,091 A BONFIRE. BATHTUB GIN. 864 01:06:02,591 --> 01:06:04,593 MUSIC, DANCING, THE WORKS. [ All Murmuring Agreement ] 865 01:06:04,593 --> 01:06:08,597 LET'S ACT WE KNOW THE CRASH IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER, AND ROAR LIKE THEY DID IN THE '20s. 866 01:06:08,597 --> 01:06:11,767 YEAH ! YEAH ! [ Cheering, Applause ] 867 01:06:13,769 --> 01:06:16,772 YOU'LL HAVE TO EXCUSE ME. I'M LATE FOR A DATE. 868 01:06:16,772 --> 01:06:20,276 SORRY, LADIES. [ Clicks Tongue ] [ Laughing Continues ] 869 01:06:24,280 --> 01:06:26,782 ## [ Punk ] [ Crowd Shouting, Hooting ] 870 01:06:31,287 --> 01:06:33,289 YOU COME HERE OFTEN ? 871 01:06:33,289 --> 01:06:35,791 WELL, I USED TO. 872 01:06:35,791 --> 01:06:38,294 I THINK IT'S CHANGED A LITTLE. 873 01:06:38,294 --> 01:06:40,296 MUST BE NEW MANAGEMENT. 874 01:06:48,304 --> 01:06:49,805 ## [ Song Ends ] 875 01:06:50,306 --> 01:06:52,308 [ Cheering, Applause ] 876 01:06:54,810 --> 01:06:57,313 [ Jack ] JESUS, I WONDER WHAT CAUSES THAT ? 877 01:07:01,317 --> 01:07:03,319 EXCUSE ME. 878 01:07:05,321 --> 01:07:15,331 ## 879 01:07:15,331 --> 01:07:18,834 ## YEAH ! ONE, TWO ! ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR ! 880 01:07:18,834 --> 01:07:25,341 ## 881 01:07:25,841 --> 01:07:28,344 ## [ Continues ] DAVID ! COME ON, GET LOOSE ! 882 01:07:28,344 --> 01:07:32,348 LIKE THESE PEOPLE ? THEY LOOK LIKE THEY GOT LOOSE FROM AN INSTITUTION. 883 01:07:32,848 --> 01:07:35,351 ## [ Screams ] 884 01:07:35,851 --> 01:07:46,862 ## 885 01:07:47,863 --> 01:07:49,365 # YOU DRIVE ME APE # 886 01:07:50,366 --> 01:07:52,868 # YOU BIG GORILLA # 887 01:07:52,868 --> 01:07:54,370 # YOU DRIVE ME APE, APE # 888 01:07:55,371 --> 01:07:56,872 # I WANNA TELL YA # 889 01:07:57,873 --> 01:08:00,876 # SWINGIN' AROUND FROM EVERY TOWN TO TOWN # 890 01:08:00,876 --> 01:08:03,379 # I KNOW I SWING AROUND AND I NEVER COME DOWN # 891 01:08:03,379 --> 01:08:05,881 # CITY IS A JUNGLE NOW THIS IS IT # 892 01:08:05,881 --> 01:08:07,883 # EVERY TIME I LOOK AT YOU I GO APE-SHIT # 893 01:08:07,883 --> 01:08:09,385 # YOU DRIVE ME APE # 894 01:08:10,386 --> 01:08:12,888 # YOU BIG GORILLA # 895 01:08:13,389 --> 01:08:14,890 # YOU DRIVE ME APE, APE # 896 01:08:15,391 --> 01:08:17,393 # I WANNA TELL YA # 897 01:08:18,394 --> 01:08:19,395 # CRUISIN' THROUGH THE TREES # 898 01:08:19,395 --> 01:08:20,896 # WITH THE BIRDS AND THE BEES # 899 01:08:20,896 --> 01:08:23,399 # BABY, BABY MONKEY I AIN'T SO HARD TO PLEASE # 900 01:08:23,399 --> 01:08:26,402 # CRUISIN' THROUGH THE TREES WITH THE BIRDS AND THE BEES # 901 01:08:26,402 --> 01:08:27,903 # BABY, BABY MONKEY YOU WON'T GET NO DISEASE # 902 01:08:27,903 --> 01:08:29,905 # YEAH, YEAH # 903 01:08:29,905 --> 01:08:31,907 # YOU WON'T GET NO DISEASE # 904 01:08:32,408 --> 01:08:33,909 WHAT'S GOIN' ON ? 905 01:08:34,410 --> 01:08:38,414 ## [ Continues ] WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ? DID YOU FOLLOW US ? 906 01:08:38,414 --> 01:08:41,417 FOLLOW YOU ? NO, I-- I CAME HERE FOR A DRINK, 907 01:08:41,917 --> 01:08:44,420 AND I SAW YOU DANCING WITH-- 908 01:08:44,420 --> 01:08:46,922 [ Scoffs ] WITH HIM. 909 01:08:46,922 --> 01:08:50,426 IS THAT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT ? COME ON, RUSS. I'LL DANCE WITH YA. 910 01:08:51,427 --> 01:08:53,429 TAKE A WALK, PISSANT. 911 01:08:53,429 --> 01:08:55,931 YOU'RE DUE FOR A DIAPER CHANGE. CUT IT OUT ! 912 01:08:56,432 --> 01:08:59,935 I'M TAKING YOU THE HELL OUTTA HERE, AND WE'RE GONNA TALK. 913 01:09:00,436 --> 01:09:01,937 LET GO OF ME ! 914 01:09:02,438 --> 01:09:05,441 I WANT YOU ON MY SIDE, NOT ON MY BACK. 915 01:09:05,441 --> 01:09:08,444 # YOU DRIVE ME APE, APE # 916 01:09:08,444 --> 01:09:09,445 # YOU DRIVE ME APE BABY, NOW # 917 01:09:10,946 --> 01:09:12,948 # APE, APE ## 918 01:09:12,948 --> 01:09:16,452 [ Crowd Yelling, Murmuring ] [ Jack ] DAVID HAS GONE ABOUT THIS ALL WRONG. 919 01:09:16,452 --> 01:09:18,954 I KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THIS JERK. 920 01:09:18,954 --> 01:09:20,956 OKAY, RUSS. 921 01:09:24,460 --> 01:09:25,961 YOU GUYS, STOP IT. 922 01:09:27,463 --> 01:09:29,465 STOP IT ! 923 01:09:29,465 --> 01:09:31,967 [ Crowd Yelling, Hooting ] 924 01:09:35,471 --> 01:09:38,474 I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T WANT TO DANCE. 925 01:09:38,474 --> 01:09:40,476 [ Onlookers Laughing ] 926 01:09:40,476 --> 01:09:43,479 - [ Yelling, Shouting Continues ] - DAVID ! 927 01:09:43,479 --> 01:09:46,482 [ Man ] YEAH ! HIT HIM ! HIT HIM ! 928 01:09:47,983 --> 01:09:50,486 OOH ! 929 01:09:50,486 --> 01:09:52,488 [ Man ] SLAM HIM ! SLAM HIM ! 930 01:09:52,988 --> 01:09:55,491 [ Girl ] GET UP ! GET UP ! GET UP ! 931 01:09:55,991 --> 01:09:57,493 [ Hooting, Shouting Continue ] 932 01:09:57,993 --> 01:09:59,995 OH, DAVID, I'M SO SORRY. 933 01:10:00,496 --> 01:10:01,997 IT'S OKAY. 934 01:10:03,499 --> 01:10:05,501 DID YOU GET THE LICENSE NUMBER ? 935 01:10:05,501 --> 01:10:08,504 [ Giggles ] LISTEN, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE, OKAY ? 936 01:10:08,504 --> 01:10:10,506 OKAY, FINE. 937 01:10:10,506 --> 01:10:14,510 [ Man ] WHOO ! WHOO ! WHOO ! [ Hooting Continues ] 938 01:10:15,010 --> 01:10:16,512 AH-- I'M SORRY. 939 01:10:17,012 --> 01:10:19,515 [ Pained Laughter ] 940 01:10:22,518 --> 01:10:24,019 [ All Shouting ] 941 01:10:24,520 --> 01:10:26,021 [ Screams ] TERRY ! 942 01:10:29,525 --> 01:10:33,529 [ Laughing, Shouting ] 943 01:10:39,034 --> 01:10:41,537 I WANTED YOU TO SEE THIS. 944 01:10:41,537 --> 01:10:44,039 I THINK IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 945 01:10:44,039 --> 01:10:46,041 WHY DID YOU DO IT ? 946 01:10:46,041 --> 01:10:49,044 THIS MUST HAVE BEEN SO MUCH WORK FOR YOU. 947 01:10:50,546 --> 01:10:52,548 UM, WELL... 948 01:10:54,550 --> 01:10:57,553 WHEN SOMEONE BUILDS SOMETHING LIKE THIS, 949 01:10:57,553 --> 01:11:01,557 THEY DON'T CARE HOW IT LOOKS TO THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE AROUND HERE... 950 01:11:01,557 --> 01:11:04,560 OR THE KIDS WHO PLAY IN THIS LOT. 951 01:11:04,560 --> 01:11:08,564 THOSE PEOPLE HAVE TO LIVE WITH THIS BIG, UGLY WALL... 952 01:11:09,064 --> 01:11:10,566 IN THEIR FACES... 953 01:11:11,066 --> 01:11:13,068 EVERY DAY. 954 01:11:13,569 --> 01:11:15,070 I SAW THIS WALL, 955 01:11:15,571 --> 01:11:19,074 AND I THOUGHT IT COULD USE A COAT OF PAINT. 956 01:11:19,074 --> 01:11:22,077 [ Jack ] SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD REASON TO ME, DAVID. 957 01:11:22,077 --> 01:11:25,080 DAVID, THERE IS SO MUCH ABOUT YOU THAT SURPRISES ME. 958 01:11:25,080 --> 01:11:29,084 [ Jack ] I GOT ONE MORE THAT'S A LULU. 959 01:11:29,084 --> 01:11:32,087 ## [ Ragtime ] [ Horn Honking ] 960 01:11:32,087 --> 01:11:36,091 [ Shouting, Laughing ] 961 01:11:45,100 --> 01:11:48,103 ## [ Continues ] 962 01:11:58,113 --> 01:12:01,617 [ Shouting, Laughing Continue ] 963 01:12:01,617 --> 01:12:03,619 [ No Dialogue ] 964 01:12:22,137 --> 01:12:24,139 I'LL TALK TO YOU ON MONDAY. 965 01:12:25,641 --> 01:12:27,643 [ Laughs ] 966 01:12:27,643 --> 01:12:30,646 W-WHAT IS THIS ? 967 01:12:30,646 --> 01:12:32,648 YOU PART OF THIS CIRCUS TOO ? 968 01:12:32,648 --> 01:12:36,151 RUSS, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. I'M TRYING TO HAVE FUN. 969 01:12:37,653 --> 01:12:39,655 WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ? 970 01:12:39,655 --> 01:12:42,157 THAT WE NEVER HAD FUN TOGETHER ? 971 01:12:43,659 --> 01:12:45,661 MAYBE I DIDN'T KNOW YOUR IDEA OF FUN... 972 01:12:46,161 --> 01:12:48,664 WAS DRESSING UP LIKE A CARNIVAL FREAK. 973 01:12:52,668 --> 01:12:55,170 [ David ] HEY, RUSS ! 974 01:12:56,171 --> 01:12:59,174 GENTLEMEN, MONDAY IS ALMOST UPON US. 975 01:12:59,174 --> 01:13:03,178 YOUR PAPERS ARE COMING DUE. I'VE GOT THEM RIGHT HERE. 976 01:13:03,679 --> 01:13:05,681 ## [ Stops ] THOUGH, YOU KNOW, I STILL CAN'T IMAGINE... 977 01:13:06,181 --> 01:13:08,183 HOW THESE ENDED UP IN MY ROOM. 978 01:13:08,183 --> 01:13:10,185 [ Crowd Murmuring ] [ Girl ] WHAT ? 979 01:13:10,185 --> 01:13:14,690 J.P., THIS ONE'S VERY IMPRESSIVE. 980 01:13:14,690 --> 01:13:16,692 I'D GIVE THIS A B-PLUS. 981 01:13:18,193 --> 01:13:21,196 WHOA ! WHOA ! [ Crowd Gasps ] 982 01:13:24,199 --> 01:13:28,704 MIKEY, NICE WORK ON THIS PHYSICS PAPER. 983 01:13:28,704 --> 01:13:31,206 I'D GIVE THIS ONE AN "A." 984 01:13:31,206 --> 01:13:35,711 [ Crowd Continues Murmuring, Gasping ] OH, NO. 985 01:13:39,715 --> 01:13:41,717 AND RUSS-- 986 01:13:42,718 --> 01:13:44,720 OH, RUSS. 987 01:13:44,720 --> 01:13:47,222 THIS IS QUITE A PIECE OF WORK, RUSS. 988 01:13:47,222 --> 01:13:50,225 THIS MUST'VE TAKEN YOU ALL SEMESTER. 989 01:13:50,225 --> 01:13:53,228 WHY, THIS ALMOST ASSURES YOU AN "A" IN POLITICAL SCIENCE. 990 01:13:55,230 --> 01:13:57,232 [ Girl ] WHOA ! [ Murmuring, Gasping Continue ] 991 01:14:02,738 --> 01:14:04,740 THAT'S IT, GENTLEMEN. 992 01:14:04,740 --> 01:14:06,742 THIS SQUID IS OUT OF INK. 993 01:14:06,742 --> 01:14:10,245 [ Crowd Shouting, Hooting ] 994 01:14:10,245 --> 01:14:11,747 DAVID, LOOK OUT ! 995 01:14:12,247 --> 01:14:13,749 [ Grunts ] 996 01:14:14,249 --> 01:14:15,751 GET HIM ! GET HIM ! KILL HIM ! 997 01:14:22,758 --> 01:14:25,761 THAT ONLY WORKS ONCE, RUSS. 998 01:14:26,261 --> 01:14:29,264 [ Panting ] 999 01:14:30,766 --> 01:14:32,768 WE'RE HAVING A PARTY HERE ! 1000 01:14:33,268 --> 01:14:36,271 YOU ASSHOLES WANT TO FIGHT, WHY DON'T YOU GO BEAT EACH OTHER OVER THE HEAD. 1001 01:14:36,772 --> 01:14:39,775 I'M YOUR GODDAMN PRESIDENT, FATHEAD ! 1002 01:14:41,777 --> 01:14:45,280 [ Sighs ] WELL, PRESIDENT FATHEAD, 1003 01:14:45,280 --> 01:14:47,282 IF YOU HAD DONE YOUR OWN SCHOOLWORK, 1004 01:14:47,282 --> 01:14:49,284 MAYBE YOU'D BE FAMILIAR WITH THE TERM "IMPEACHMENT." 1005 01:14:49,785 --> 01:14:52,287 [ Crowd Laughing ] 1006 01:14:55,624 --> 01:14:58,126 YOU THINK HE'S HOT STUFF ? [ Crowd Quiets ] 1007 01:14:58,126 --> 01:15:01,630 YOU WATCH HIM IN THE MEET TOMORROW ! 1008 01:15:01,630 --> 01:15:06,134 YOU'LL SEE HOW HOT HE LOOKS WHEN HE'S CHOKIN' ON MY DUST ! 1009 01:15:06,134 --> 01:15:08,136 [ Scattered Laughter ] 1010 01:15:08,136 --> 01:15:11,139 COME ON. COME ON, GET HIM OUTTA HERE. 1011 01:15:28,156 --> 01:15:31,660 GENTLEMEN, A LITTLE MUSIC, PLEASE. 1012 01:15:32,661 --> 01:15:34,663 SOMETHING SNAPPY. 1013 01:15:34,663 --> 01:15:38,166 ## [ Ragtime Resumes ] 1014 01:16:33,722 --> 01:16:35,724 [ Girl ] WAY TO GO, WATSON ! 1015 01:16:47,235 --> 01:16:49,237 [ Jack ] OH, BOY, DAVID, 1016 01:16:49,237 --> 01:16:52,741 I WISH IT COULD BE YOU UP HERE, I REALLY DO. 1017 01:16:53,241 --> 01:16:55,744 DAVID ! DAVID ! 1018 01:16:55,744 --> 01:16:58,747 DAVID ! 1019 01:17:03,251 --> 01:17:06,254 DAVID, I-IT'S YOUR GRANDFATHER. 1020 01:17:06,254 --> 01:17:09,257 WHAT ? THEY'RE PULLING THE PLUG ! 1021 01:17:09,257 --> 01:17:11,259 COME ON ! 1022 01:17:12,761 --> 01:17:15,764 JACK, YOUR MOTHER CALLED ME. 1023 01:17:15,764 --> 01:17:17,766 OH, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 1024 01:17:19,267 --> 01:17:22,771 THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING, CHARLIE. 1025 01:17:22,771 --> 01:17:24,773 THEY'RE KILLING THEIR OWN SON. 1026 01:17:24,773 --> 01:17:27,776 AND THAT'S NOT THE ONLY SURPRISE THEY'VE GOT WAITING FOR THEM. 1027 01:17:27,776 --> 01:17:29,778 I REWROTE MY WILL. 1028 01:17:29,778 --> 01:17:32,280 I GAVE MADELYN HALF OF WATSON DIALS. 1029 01:17:32,280 --> 01:17:35,283 IF I GO, THAT BITCH WILL RUN THE PLACE. "THAT BITCH" ? 1030 01:17:35,283 --> 01:17:38,787 SINCE WHEN ? SINCE SHE TRIED TO SEDUCE MY GRANDSON, A.K.A. ME. 1031 01:17:39,287 --> 01:17:40,789 CHRIST, CHARLIE, IF THIS HAPPENS, 1032 01:17:41,289 --> 01:17:43,792 I'VE SCREWED ARNOLD, I'VE SCREWED DAVID, I'VE SCREWED MYSELF. 1033 01:17:44,292 --> 01:17:46,795 THAT'S A LOT OF SCREWING FOR A GUY YOUR AGE. 1034 01:17:52,300 --> 01:17:53,802 THAT WASN'T DAD. 1035 01:17:55,303 --> 01:17:56,805 IT WAS JUST HIS BODY. 1036 01:17:57,305 --> 01:17:58,807 I KNOW. 1037 01:18:00,809 --> 01:18:02,811 IT WAS THE ONLY DECISION. 1038 01:18:02,811 --> 01:18:05,814 OH, OF COURSE IT WAS. HE'D SUFFERED ENOUGH. 1039 01:18:06,314 --> 01:18:10,318 GOD KNOWS, HIS SOUL DESERVES PEACE. 1040 01:18:29,838 --> 01:18:32,340 SUDDENLY, SHE'S MOTHER TERESA. [ Car Engine Starts ] 1041 01:18:32,340 --> 01:18:34,843 MMM. ON WHEELS. 1042 01:18:34,843 --> 01:18:37,345 [ Tires Screech ] 1043 01:18:37,345 --> 01:18:39,347 HEY ! 1044 01:18:39,347 --> 01:18:42,350 - [ Tires Screeching ] - WHAT ARE YOU, CRAZY ? 1045 01:19:07,876 --> 01:19:09,878 JACK ! 1046 01:19:10,879 --> 01:19:12,881 YOU GOT A PHONE ? YES, HERE. 1047 01:19:14,382 --> 01:19:16,885 [ Woman On P.A. ] DR. FALLON, 1048 01:19:16,885 --> 01:19:19,387 PLEASE REPORT TO SURGERY. 1049 01:19:24,392 --> 01:19:26,895 [ Grunts, Panting ] 1050 01:19:29,898 --> 01:19:33,401 [ Continues Panting ] WHERE'S THE OLD MAN WHO WAS IN THIS ROOM ? 1051 01:19:33,401 --> 01:19:36,404 MR. WATSON ? WE TOOK HIM OFF LIFE SUPPORT. 1052 01:19:36,404 --> 01:19:39,407 WHERE IS HE ? HE WOULD BE ON FOUR OR FIVE. 1053 01:19:40,408 --> 01:19:42,410 [ Both Gasp ] 1054 01:19:52,921 --> 01:19:54,422 WAIT ! 1055 01:20:00,428 --> 01:20:02,430 PUT IT BACK ! 1056 01:20:02,430 --> 01:20:04,933 OOH ! 1057 01:20:04,933 --> 01:20:07,936 SHE LIKES IT THAT WAY. [ Groans ] 1058 01:20:07,936 --> 01:20:09,938 [ Machine Beeping ] HEMOSTAT. 1059 01:20:09,938 --> 01:20:11,940 OHH ! [ Pan Clattering ] 1060 01:20:11,940 --> 01:20:14,442 [ Whispers ] SORRY. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ? 1061 01:20:15,443 --> 01:20:17,445 [ Woman On P.A. ] E.K.G. TECHNICIAN, 1062 01:20:17,445 --> 01:20:19,447 GO TO C.C.U. 1063 01:20:19,447 --> 01:20:21,950 E.K.G. TECHNICIAN, GO TO C.C.U. 1064 01:20:30,959 --> 01:20:32,460 HE'S ALIVE. 1065 01:20:33,962 --> 01:20:35,964 WHERE ARE YOU TAKING HIM ? 1066 01:20:35,964 --> 01:20:38,466 541, AS LONG AS HE HANGS ON. 1067 01:20:38,466 --> 01:20:41,970 HE'S GOTTA BE HOOKED BACK UP. I JUST PUSH 'EM AROUND, OKAY ? 1068 01:20:42,470 --> 01:20:45,473 - [ Grunts ] - [ Nurse Gasps ] 1069 01:20:45,473 --> 01:20:47,475 - HEY ! - [ Nurse Gasps ] 1070 01:20:47,475 --> 01:20:51,479 HELLO ? HELLO ? HELLO, SECURITY ? 1071 01:20:51,479 --> 01:20:54,983 HEY ! HEY, HEY, HEY ! HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY ! 1072 01:20:54,983 --> 01:20:57,986 [ Nurses, Onlookers Screaming, Chattering ] 1073 01:20:57,986 --> 01:20:59,988 [ Doctor ] OH, MY GOD ! 1074 01:20:59,988 --> 01:21:02,991 DAVID. DAVID, CAN YOU HEAR ME ? 1075 01:21:02,991 --> 01:21:05,493 IT'S ME, DAVID. IT'S JACK, YOUR GRANDFATHER. 1076 01:21:08,496 --> 01:21:10,498 DAVID ! 1077 01:21:10,498 --> 01:21:13,501 541 ? [ Sighs ] HAVE A NICE DAY. 1078 01:21:14,502 --> 01:21:18,506 PLEASE, DAVID ! YOU'RE YOUNG, DAVID ! YOU'RE STRONG ! 1079 01:21:18,506 --> 01:21:20,508 DAVID, WAKE UP ! 1080 01:21:27,015 --> 01:21:28,516 [ Gasps ] 1081 01:21:34,022 --> 01:21:36,024 [ Mutters ] 541. 1082 01:21:36,524 --> 01:21:38,026 541. 1083 01:22:34,082 --> 01:22:35,583 JACK. 1084 01:22:43,091 --> 01:22:45,093 JACK, WHAT HAPPENED ? 1085 01:22:46,594 --> 01:22:48,596 JACK, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT ? 1086 01:22:48,596 --> 01:22:51,099 [ Jack ] I'M JUST FINE, CHARLIE. 1087 01:22:54,602 --> 01:22:56,604 JACK ! 1088 01:22:56,604 --> 01:22:59,107 CHARLIE, HELP ME UP. 1089 01:23:03,611 --> 01:23:05,613 CHARLIE. [ Chuckles ] OH, JACK. 1090 01:23:05,613 --> 01:23:07,615 GOOD. 1091 01:23:07,615 --> 01:23:10,118 [ Groans ] GIVE ME A CIGAR, KID. 1092 01:23:12,620 --> 01:23:14,622 LEFT INSIDE BREAST POCKET. 1093 01:23:19,627 --> 01:23:21,129 THANKS. 1094 01:23:26,134 --> 01:23:28,136 I'M GONNA MISS YOU, DAD. 1095 01:23:29,804 --> 01:23:33,308 THIS PLACE MAY RUN ALL RIGHT WITHOUT YOU, BUT WHO CARES ? 1096 01:23:34,809 --> 01:23:37,312 WITHOUT YOU, IT'S JUST A FACTORY. 1097 01:23:40,315 --> 01:23:43,818 I'M EVEN GONNA MISS THE SMELL OF YOUR DAMNED CIGARS. 1098 01:23:44,319 --> 01:23:46,821 [ Jack On Intercom ] THEN I'VE GOT SOME GOOD NEWS FOR YOU. 1099 01:23:48,823 --> 01:23:50,325 MY GOD. 1100 01:23:51,826 --> 01:23:55,330 DAD. WE'VE GOT SOME TALKING TO DO, ARNIE. 1101 01:23:58,833 --> 01:24:01,336 WE CAN COMMUNICATE THROUGH THIS ? 1102 01:24:13,848 --> 01:24:17,352 - THEY PULLED THE PLUG ! - I'VE GOT GOOD BATTERIES. 1103 01:24:17,352 --> 01:24:19,354 WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY OFFICE ? 1104 01:24:19,354 --> 01:24:21,856 BUT THEN AGAIN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN SALES ? 1105 01:24:22,357 --> 01:24:24,359 YOU DON'T BELONG THERE. 1106 01:24:24,359 --> 01:24:28,863 LOOK, ARNIE, I KNOW I'VE BEEN TOUGH ON YOU. 1107 01:24:28,863 --> 01:24:32,367 I HAVEN'T LISTENED TO ANY OF YOUR IDEAS, AND YOU HAD SOME GOOD ONES. 1108 01:24:32,867 --> 01:24:36,371 I JUST GET A LITTLE TOO FULL OF MYSELF SOMETIMES. 1109 01:24:36,371 --> 01:24:38,873 I'M SORRY. 1110 01:24:38,873 --> 01:24:42,377 LET'S WORK TOGETHER FROM NOW ON. OKAY ? 1111 01:24:53,388 --> 01:24:55,390 DO ME A FAVOR, ARNIE. 1112 01:24:55,390 --> 01:24:58,893 DON'T DO THE SAME THING TO DAVID THAT I DID TO YOU. 1113 01:24:58,893 --> 01:25:00,895 I'M NOT. 1114 01:25:00,895 --> 01:25:04,899 DID YOU EVER ASK YOURSELF WHETHER DAVID WANTS TO BE AN ACCOUNTANT ? 1115 01:25:04,899 --> 01:25:06,901 DID YOU EVER ASK DAVID ? 1116 01:25:06,901 --> 01:25:09,904 FOR ALL WE KNOW, HE MIGHT WANT TO BE-- OH, HELL, I DON'T KNOW. 1117 01:25:09,904 --> 01:25:11,906 AN ARTIST. 1118 01:25:11,906 --> 01:25:14,409 [ Coughs ] 1119 01:25:14,409 --> 01:25:17,412 A MINUTE AGO YOU WERE PINING AWAY FOR THESE. 1120 01:25:17,412 --> 01:25:21,416 WELL, I'VE GOT A LITTLE PIECE OF BUSINESS TO TAKE CARE OF. 1121 01:25:25,920 --> 01:25:27,922 NICE BOY. 1122 01:25:27,922 --> 01:25:30,425 ## [ Humming ] 1123 01:25:38,433 --> 01:25:40,435 [ Doorbell Rings ] 1124 01:25:40,435 --> 01:25:42,437 [ Singsong ] HORTON ! 1125 01:25:43,438 --> 01:25:45,440 [ Yells ] HORTON ! 1126 01:25:50,945 --> 01:25:53,448 OH, SIR ! SHH. 1127 01:25:57,952 --> 01:26:00,455 [ Door Closes ] 1128 01:26:00,455 --> 01:26:03,458 TELL RICK I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. 1129 01:26:08,963 --> 01:26:11,466 YOU'D BETTER PUT THAT BACK ON ICE. 1130 01:26:13,968 --> 01:26:17,472 I KNOW. YOU'RE WEARING BLACK UNDERWEAR. 1131 01:26:17,472 --> 01:26:19,474 [ Gasping ] 1132 01:26:19,474 --> 01:26:21,976 JACK ! OH, THANK GOD ! 1133 01:26:22,477 --> 01:26:23,978 IT'S A MIRACLE ! 1134 01:26:24,479 --> 01:26:26,981 DON'T SEND THE CHECK TO ORAL ROBERTS JUST YET. 1135 01:26:27,482 --> 01:26:29,984 I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONE. 1136 01:26:29,984 --> 01:26:31,986 AH ! [ Clink ] 1137 01:26:31,986 --> 01:26:34,989 SEE ? WE SHOULD DRINK TO YOUR RECOVERY. 1138 01:26:34,989 --> 01:26:36,991 I'VE GOT A BETTER IDEA. 1139 01:26:36,991 --> 01:26:39,994 PUT ON THAT LITTLE CAT OUTFIT OF YOURS. OKAY ? 1140 01:26:40,495 --> 01:26:43,998 CAT OUTFIT. OKAY. 1141 01:26:45,500 --> 01:26:49,003 I'M GONNA PUT YOU OUT ON THE STREET. WHAT ? 1142 01:26:49,003 --> 01:26:51,506 YOU CAN PLAY IN SOMEBODY ELSE'S LITTER BOX. 1143 01:26:51,506 --> 01:26:55,009 - HORTON. - OH, YOU WOULDN'T ! 1144 01:26:55,009 --> 01:26:58,513 WELL ! I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS. 1145 01:26:58,513 --> 01:27:00,515 YOU'VE BEEN A LOVELY COMPANION, 1146 01:27:00,515 --> 01:27:03,518 BUT A PERSON MY AGE NEEDS EXCITEMENT, [ Gasps ] 1147 01:27:03,518 --> 01:27:06,020 PASSION, PHYSICAL AFFECTION. 1148 01:27:06,020 --> 01:27:08,022 - [ Gasps ] - DID THAT COME WITH HER ? 1149 01:27:08,022 --> 01:27:10,024 IT DID, SIR. GIVE IT TO HER. 1150 01:27:10,024 --> 01:27:12,026 YOU'LL REGRET THIS-- NO ! 1151 01:27:12,527 --> 01:27:14,028 GOOD-BYE, KID. [ Screaming ] YOU'LL BE-- 1152 01:27:14,529 --> 01:27:16,030 YOU BUZZARD ! 1153 01:27:16,030 --> 01:27:18,032 CALL PHIL BREMMER. 1154 01:27:18,032 --> 01:27:21,536 HAVE HIM TAKE EVELYN OUT OF MY WILL. OH, IT'S MADELYN, SIR. 1155 01:27:21,536 --> 01:27:23,538 OKAY, MADELYN. 1156 01:27:23,538 --> 01:27:25,540 REMIND ME TO GIVE YOU A RAISE. 1157 01:27:25,540 --> 01:27:28,543 ## [ Marching Band ] 1158 01:27:31,045 --> 01:27:35,049 [ Announcer On P.A. ] ON THE JAVELIN THROW, WE HAVE BILL COULE OF T.B.I. 1159 01:27:35,049 --> 01:27:37,552 ## [ Continues ] 1160 01:27:39,554 --> 01:27:41,556 [ Grunts ] 1161 01:27:43,558 --> 01:27:46,060 [ Boys Chattering ] 1162 01:27:51,566 --> 01:27:53,568 KICK ASS, WATSON. 1163 01:27:53,568 --> 01:27:55,570 ALL RIGHT. DO IT, MAN. 1164 01:27:55,570 --> 01:27:57,572 [ Whistle Blowing ] 1165 01:27:57,572 --> 01:28:01,075 ALL RIGHT, COME ON ! GET THOSE REARS IN GEAR ! GET THOSE BACKSIDES OUTSIDE ! 1166 01:28:01,576 --> 01:28:03,578 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT ! 1167 01:28:03,578 --> 01:28:06,080 WATSON. 1168 01:28:06,080 --> 01:28:08,082 YOU'VE COME A LONG WAY, KID. 1169 01:28:08,082 --> 01:28:10,585 TWO WEEKS AGO, YOU COULDN'T EVEN STAY ON YOUR FEET. 1170 01:28:11,085 --> 01:28:13,087 GO OUT THERE AND GET 'EM. 1171 01:28:21,596 --> 01:28:23,097 HELLO, KID. 1172 01:28:24,599 --> 01:28:26,601 HI, GRANDPA. 1173 01:28:35,109 --> 01:28:36,611 I'M A LITTLE CONFUSED. 1174 01:28:37,111 --> 01:28:39,113 WELL, 18 IS A CONFUSING AGE. 1175 01:28:40,615 --> 01:28:42,617 I DIDN'T QUALIFY FOR THIS MEET. 1176 01:28:42,617 --> 01:28:44,619 DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 1177 01:28:46,621 --> 01:28:49,123 DID YOU DO IT ? WHAT ? 1178 01:28:49,123 --> 01:28:52,627 PULL SOME STRINGS ? NO, I WOULDN'T DO THAT. 1179 01:28:52,627 --> 01:28:55,630 I KNOW TRACK DOESN'T MEAN THAT MUCH TO YOU, 1180 01:28:55,630 --> 01:28:57,632 BUT THIS RACE MEANS A LOT, 1181 01:28:57,632 --> 01:29:00,134 IF ONLY TO PROVE TO YOURSELF THAT YOU CAN BEAT RUSS DEACON. 1182 01:29:00,635 --> 01:29:03,137 YOU'RE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK, DAVID. 1183 01:29:03,137 --> 01:29:06,641 DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW. I JUST DO. 1184 01:29:06,641 --> 01:29:09,644 I'M TELLING YOU, YOU CAN DO IT... 1185 01:29:09,644 --> 01:29:13,147 IF YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF HALF AS MUCH AS I BELIEVE IN YOU. 1186 01:29:14,148 --> 01:29:17,151 I COULDN'T HOLD A CANDLE TO YOU, GRANDPA. 1187 01:29:17,151 --> 01:29:21,155 WHEN YOU'RE OUT THERE, LISTEN TO THE CROWD. THEY BELIEVE IN YOU TOO. 1188 01:29:21,155 --> 01:29:24,158 THEY'LL BE CHEERING FOR YOU, DAVID, FOR YOU. 1189 01:29:24,158 --> 01:29:27,662 NOT BECAUSE YOU'RE A WATSON-- BECAUSE YOU'RE DAVID WATSON. 1190 01:29:32,166 --> 01:29:34,168 THANKS, GRANDPA. 1191 01:29:35,169 --> 01:29:38,673 HERE. I THOUGHT THESE MIGHT HELP. 1192 01:29:38,673 --> 01:29:42,176 I WAS WEARING THOSE WHEN I WON THE MEET IN '28. 1193 01:29:42,176 --> 01:29:45,179 [ Spectators Applauding, Cheering ] 1194 01:29:47,181 --> 01:29:50,184 I THINK THEY'LL FIT YOU. 1195 01:29:53,688 --> 01:29:55,690 THANKS, KID. 1196 01:30:00,194 --> 01:30:02,697 [ Man ] RUNNERS, TAKE YOUR MARKS ! 1197 01:30:02,697 --> 01:30:05,700 [ Girl ] YOU CAN DO IT ! SET ! 1198 01:30:17,211 --> 01:30:19,714 [ Announcer On P.A. ] GOING INTO THE FIRST LAP, 1199 01:30:19,714 --> 01:30:22,216 OUR LEADERS ARE RUSS DEACON IN FIRST PLACE... 1200 01:30:22,216 --> 01:30:24,218 AND PETER BACON FROM WEDDINGTON COLLEGE-- 1201 01:30:24,218 --> 01:30:26,220 COME ON ! COME ON ! 1202 01:30:26,220 --> 01:30:27,722 [ Panting ] 1203 01:30:40,735 --> 01:30:43,738 WHAT IS HE DOING, SWEEPING UP AFTER THEM ? 1204 01:30:47,742 --> 01:30:49,243 [ Whispers ] COME ON. 1205 01:30:49,243 --> 01:30:51,746 [ Spectators Continue Shouting, Cheering ] 1206 01:30:51,746 --> 01:30:53,748 [ Whispers ] PLEASE, DAVID. 1207 01:30:53,748 --> 01:30:56,751 [ Panting Heavily ] 1208 01:30:57,251 --> 01:31:00,755 HOW'S HE DOING ? HI, BARRETT. NOT TOO GOOD. HE'S ALL THE WAY IN BACK. 1209 01:31:00,755 --> 01:31:02,757 LOOK ALIVE ! 1210 01:31:02,757 --> 01:31:04,759 GO, GO, GO, GO, GO ! 1211 01:31:04,759 --> 01:31:06,761 [ Girl ] YOU CAN DO IT ! 1212 01:31:21,943 --> 01:31:24,445 [ Continues Panting ] 1213 01:31:32,453 --> 01:31:35,456 [ Thinking ] YOU CAN DO IT, KID. YOU CAN DO IT. 1214 01:31:46,968 --> 01:31:48,970 [ No Audio ] 1215 01:32:39,520 --> 01:32:42,523 [ Announcer On P.A., Indistinct ] 1216 01:32:53,534 --> 01:32:56,037 WAIT A MINUTE. 1217 01:33:08,049 --> 01:33:11,552 WATSON ! WATSON ! 1218 01:33:12,053 --> 01:33:14,555 WATSON ! WATSON ! 1219 01:33:15,056 --> 01:33:17,058 COME ON, DAVID ! COME ON ! 1220 01:33:29,070 --> 01:33:31,072 COME ON, BOY ! 1221 01:34:24,625 --> 01:34:26,127 YOU WERE GREAT. 1222 01:34:26,627 --> 01:34:29,630 NICE GOIN'. HIT ME IN THE HEAD. 1223 01:34:29,630 --> 01:34:32,133 GREAT GOING, KID. SEE YOU LATER, COACH. 1224 01:34:33,634 --> 01:34:35,636 THANKS. 1225 01:34:35,636 --> 01:34:37,638 GREAT FINISH. THANKS A LOT. 1226 01:34:41,142 --> 01:34:45,146 JESUS, IS THIS GUY EVER GONNA STOP GIVING ME SHIT ? 1227 01:35:08,669 --> 01:35:10,671 WHAT ? 1228 01:35:14,175 --> 01:35:16,677 THANK YOU, GRANDPA, 1229 01:35:16,677 --> 01:35:19,680 FOR, UH, LETTING ME WEAR YOUR SHOES. 1230 01:35:19,680 --> 01:35:21,182 SAME TO YOU. 1231 01:35:22,683 --> 01:35:24,685 I'LL EXPLAIN TO YOU LATER. 1232 01:35:24,685 --> 01:35:26,687 [ Robin ] DAVID ! 1233 01:35:26,687 --> 01:35:28,689 [ Giggles ] 1234 01:35:28,689 --> 01:35:32,193 OH, DAVID, YOU WERE WONDERFUL. 1235 01:35:32,193 --> 01:35:34,195 OH, THANKS. THE LAST-- 1236 01:35:46,207 --> 01:35:47,708 I LOVE YOU. 1237 01:35:48,209 --> 01:35:50,711 [ Laughs ] I MEAN, HOW ARE YOU ? 1238 01:35:50,711 --> 01:35:53,214 UH-- [ Snickers ] 1239 01:35:53,214 --> 01:35:56,217 OH, ROBIN MORRISON, UH, THIS IS MY GRANDFATHER. 1240 01:35:56,217 --> 01:35:58,219 JACK WATSON. OH, IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU. 1241 01:35:59,720 --> 01:36:02,223 [ Thinking ] THAT'S IT ? I GOT ROOKED. 1242 01:36:02,223 --> 01:36:04,225 LISTEN, DAVID, CAN I TALK TO YOU ? 1243 01:36:04,225 --> 01:36:06,227 ALL RIGHT. SEE YOU LATER. 1244 01:36:06,227 --> 01:36:08,229 DAVID, YOU KNOW, I WAS THINKING THAT... 1245 01:36:08,729 --> 01:36:11,232 MAYBE YOU AND I COULD GET TOGETHER LATER ON... 1246 01:36:11,732 --> 01:36:13,734 AND WE COULD GO OVER SOME TRUMAN TOGETHER. 1247 01:36:14,235 --> 01:36:17,238 MY GRANDFATHER KNEW HIM. [ Laughing ] I KNOW. 1248 01:36:17,238 --> 01:36:20,241 LISTEN, I GOTTA GO. YOU WERE WONDERFUL. 1249 01:36:20,241 --> 01:36:22,243 BYE. 1250 01:36:26,247 --> 01:36:28,249 GRANDPA ! 1251 01:36:30,751 --> 01:36:33,754 CAN YOU DO ME A REALLY BIG FAVOR ? 1252 01:36:33,754 --> 01:36:37,758 WOULD YOU TELL ME EVERYTHING THAT YOU KNOW-- ABOUT HARRY TRUMAN ? 1253 01:36:37,758 --> 01:36:39,760 IT'D BE MY PLEASURE, DAVID. 1254 01:37:04,902 --> 01:37:07,872 [ George Burns ] # I WISH I WAS 18 AGAIN # 1255 01:37:10,791 --> 01:37:14,712 # AND GOING WHERE I'VE NEVER BEEN # 1256 01:37:17,715 --> 01:37:21,635 # BUT OLD FOLKS AND OLD OAKS STANDING TALL # 1257 01:37:21,635 --> 01:37:24,054 # JUST PRETEND # 1258 01:37:24,555 --> 01:37:28,509 # I WISH I WAS 18 AGAIN # 1259 01:37:30,477 --> 01:37:32,980 # NOW TIME TURNS THE PAGES # 1260 01:37:33,480 --> 01:37:36,851 # AND, OH, LIFE GOES SO FAST # 1261 01:37:36,851 --> 01:37:40,354 # THE YEARS TURNED THE BLACK HAIR ALL GRAY # 1262 01:37:43,357 --> 01:37:45,860 # I TALKED TO SOME YOUNG FOLKS # 1263 01:37:45,860 --> 01:37:48,362 # HEY, THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND # 1264 01:37:49,864 --> 01:37:53,868 # THE WORDS THIS OLD MAN'S GOT TO SAY # 1265 01:37:56,871 --> 01:37:59,373 # I WISH I WAS 18 AGAIN # 1266 01:38:02,376 --> 01:38:05,880 # AND GOING WHERE I'VE NEVER BEEN # 1267 01:38:08,883 --> 01:38:12,887 # BUT OLD FOLKS AND OLD OAKS STANDING TALL # 1268 01:38:12,887 --> 01:38:15,389 # JUST PRETEND # 1269 01:38:15,890 --> 01:38:19,393 # I WISH I WAS 18 AGAIN # 1270 01:38:21,395 --> 01:38:25,900 # LORD, I WISH I WAS 18 AGAIN ## 93633

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