Original subtitles

RICHARD: This time...

The Smallest Cog takes the lead.

..I've had another great idea!

It ain't going to be easy though.

You've already started on it, haven't you?

A bit. But what are the cost implications?

You've got to speculate to accumulate.

We can't keep asking you for loans.

There's the patter of tiny feet at the workshop.

Mice would chew the wiring. Mice in here is a real problem.

That kills the mouse. What, electrocute it to death?

This is a garage, not the Green Mile.

And Anthony takes on a very exotic repair job.

We've nearly reached the speed limit!

Fire 'em up, let's go.

I've fulfilled a lifelong dream.

This all yours? It's all ours.

I've set up a classic car restoration business

with automotive wonder family

Neil, Anthony and Andrew Greenhouse...

Dad!

..but it's become a money pit.

Bad, bad, bad. And if we don't break even soon...

Ten. But the budget's ten! ..there's a chance we may go bust.

Not going well at all, is it?

So, I've come up with ambitious new plans.

Welcome to your club.

We've just got to push forward into the big league.

We're even going racing to find cars that need our help.

Now wouldn't be the time to give him a business card.

I'm determined to turn my lifelong obsession...

Come on, little car.

..into a thriving business.

Will it turn over? No.

Is this a good idea?

This looks good. Oh, exciting.

Go on, my son!

Listen to that transmission whine.

Just to be clear, I'm not a sad middle-aged man

sitting watching classic car racing when he should be leaving for work.

Well, no, I am.

But this is important research.

Because any minute now he is going to crash.

See? That's work for us right there.

What I need for a classic car restoration business is work,

clients, and the long-term restoration jobs

are all well and good for prestige, great, but useless for cash flow.

I need a source of classic cars

that get damaged, and there they are.

Richard? Yep?

Do you want a cup of tea? Coffee?

That's kind. No thank you, I'll be leaving.

OK. That's very kind. What you working on? Stuff.

What sort of stuff?

I'll wait till the idea's really formed then I'll present it to you.

Do I need to be nervous? No. Sure? Yeah.

Right. OK, I'll believe you, millions wouldn't.

People who race, compete in old cars, love them,

but they damage them and they have to repair them.

So, the question then is how to get to them?

Well, there's an idea starting to form in my head

and it plan involves my old MGB GT.

This is the last car I drove on Top Gear, actually.

The very last car I drove on the show and I kept it.

And it's for the good of the workshop.

Let's hope the guys agree.

Bit worried.

Gentlemen, come in.

Now, I am aware

some of the ideas I've had over the last year or so

have been a bit...

Yeah. This, I believe, is a good one.

What we need is access to passionate owners

of interesting classic cars who have need of our services.

What if we went racing alongside them?

In? The Smallest Cog race team.

That's why I brought you here.

Every weekend through the summer they're out there,

"Oh, no, I dented my D-type", "Where am I gonna get it done?"

If they're talking to us at the race,

they'll think they're the guys for me to repair it.

I actually really like your idea for once.

We need racing livery, this is Team Cog!

It ain't gonna be easy though. It's a lot of work.

Will it go? Will it start?

I've no idea. I've got the key. We'll see if it'll go.

I think everybody wants to build a race car, don't they,

but at the moment we're just getting customers coming through the door,

we're doing a bit of work, we're building up the business

and I just don't want to be side-tracked

and spending a load of money on something.

Ready? Go on.

No.

No, the battery's flat. Battery.

Come on Ellie, you can help me push.

Ready? Push.

And they're off!

The Smallest Cog takes the lead.

Good girl, good girl, you're doing it.

As soon as we get that car in the shop

and we start tearing it down and we start ordering up the bits

and bolting it together and creating something out of it,

making a race car, they're gonna love it.

It's my best idea ever. I'm convinced.

What do you reckon so far then? Floor looks good.

Don't think it's ever gonna be a Le Mans-winning car,

but it's solid and we can make something out of it.

Need to lose weight, I mean, the car. Yeah.

People see race cars

and think it's like a normal everyday car but far from it.

Richard is impulse driven, isn't he?

Like Christopher Columbus, gonna be off the ship

and he'll have conquered the world,

but it ain't like that in reality to be honest.

Right. Let's not mess about with this.

What we doing? Chrome out.

Unpick the chrome, but careful not to bend the chrome.

OK, I know.

What?

Don't bend it. It won't go back in. I'm not bending it!

Slide it. Neil, go away!

Just don't lean on the boot so it closes.

I might put a slight crease in it.

It's only a very slight, it's not really a crease.

It's barely there and I bent.

Dad! You little shit!

I've completely buggered it.

Oh, God.

I'm so sorry.

That's appalling.

Yeah, perhaps I ought to let the lads carry on without me,

besides, I have some grown-up, management-type things to attend to.

I've arranged a call with Kamla the accountant.

When I say I've arranged a call,

Kamla has been nagging me for a call and I've run out of excuses.

But it's my chance to tell her

about my brilliant idea to go racing.

I really hope she sees the opportunity here.

Hi, Richard. Hello. I just wanted to have a catch up with you.

How are we getting along with the Alvis?

Are we close to invoicing?

Well. No, it's taking a lot longer than I anticipated.

Every time they've dug into another layer of it,

they are discovering more work.

So, we're probably four weeks or so off.

Four weeks? Yeah. We'll be all right.

Obviously, we'd rather have the money now than four weeks' time.

Yeah. Very much so.

How we getting on with getting the smaller jobs in?

Have you had more thought on it? I have had an idea.

OK. The bunch of people

I need to get in touch with and put The Cog in front of

are people who race classic cars and the best way to get to these people,

I form a race team here at Cog.

But what are the cost implications on that?

Well, I have a car we can use.

How much are you committed to this? How far along the line are we?

I know you well, Richard.

You're probably further down the line than you're telling me.

Realistically, it's going to cost north of five grand.

South of ten. It doesn't sound like a huge amount,

but considering we're not really invoicing anyone at the moment,

cos a lot of the vehicles you are working on are longer term.

That's gonna have a huge impact on our cash flow.

You've got to speculate to accumulate.

This is speculation.

I've done rather more speculation than accumulation.

I will grant you that, Kamla.

I can't keep asking you for loans.

I feel every month when it's time to pay the rent, to pay the wages...

..I'm ringing you or emailing to say,

"Richard, can I have another loan?" We can't continue to do that.

We just need to keep thinking about this with a business head.

I will try. Thank you. Thank you, Kamla.

Bye! Talk to you soon.

Oh, I think she was quite close to being cross there.

Yeah, well, I'm committed. I'm doing it now.

The thing is I'm not the only one in the Hammond family

who dreams of going racing.

It's just that Mindy and Willow's choice of vehicle

runs on hay not petrol.

Whenever Willow and I are left on our own, nothing useful happens.

It just doesn't. We are useless.

And this is proof. This is the sort of thing we'd do.

We're actually revisiting something that,

well, it's part of her childhood.

It's embarrassing, but it's what we did.

We'd go for a cowboy picnic.

This could go one way or the other to be honest.

He's not gonna misbehave, is he?

He could. He's very gassy. He's doing big farts.

Yeah, he's very gassy. That was him, not me.

Come on. Do you remember when you fell off?

It was here actually. I mean, you've fallen off.

I could hear the gasp... You did a Mummy, what she does.

I had to walk you back to the stables

while you were shedding a tear or two.

He's farting again, I'm sorry. It's not me.

It's really not me, I promise.

Well, he's backfiring, that's all.

It could be running a bit lean, or a bit retarded on the ignition.

That's a picnicky spot. It's a lovely tree.

Yeah. Have you seen what's in there yet?

No. Correct.

Pom Bears. Pom Bears. I got one each.

Mini Cheds. You want one?

You have got a bit, though. I am sorry.

It's nice this, isn't it? It is nice.

He's loving it, he's getting all the nice grass.

If you could go anywhere in the horse world, do anything.

Show jumping as a career, not as a hobby.

Now, Mindy is surprisingly calm about you taking up show jumping.

She's not. She really, it's not that she's, like, not a fan of the idea.

Think she's just a bit nervous

cos she knows that injuries will happen in some way, shape or form.

All right. I'm off.

In a bit. I've left my whip. You're gonna have to get it. Yeah.

All Willow's ever wanted to do is ride horses.

I feel that as a father, it would be harder of me to say, no,

you can't pursue your show jumping dream

cos I don't like it when you hurt yourself.

Hopefully, Mindy will be just as understanding

about my competitive ambitions.

You are into horse racing.

And have brought racehorses and you have one now.

And I'd like to pick your brain.

What if I went racing as the Smallest Cog?

What vehicle is it?

The MGB GT.

How much is it going to cost by the way to make it race ready?

Ten grand.

How much? Ten grand. Was that ten grand?

Was that ten? Ten grand? Yeah.

How much business do you think you will get off the back of it?

A lot more than ten grand. A lot more.

If you think about the equivalent of horse training,

would be building the car.

That's getting the car set up cos you need to set the car up.

So, there are similarities there.

But it still has to run as a business and make business sense.

You still have to make money at the end of it.

It's always bloody spreadsheets and calculations, isn't it? It is.

Because you don't do any of that at all.

It's boring. You can't just shovel money

into these wacky projects and just go, "Let's do that for fun,

I'm sure it'll work."

You have to see if it does or does not generate income.

You've already started on it, haven't you?

A bit. How much?

In other words, have you finished it?

Right, so yes, good. Thank you very much. Good talk.

Good talk.

Was it, though? Yeah, it's good.

I think I'll chalk that up as a win,

but Mindy is right about the money.

Still, on the plus side, we've been called about a job.

This is actually a first if you think about it.

Because this is the first time, we've taken a trailer speculatively

to look at a job. Yeah. That I know nothing about. No.

So, look, it's a job that's come in. It's predominantly mechanical.

Oh, yeah? So, it's my department. It's going to be a bit different.

Problem is, you do scare me when you say different.

This is obviously a rare car, amphibious?

No, it's an interesting one.

OK, well, only one way to find out.

Right.

Hello, Dan. Hello, good to see you.

I've got to introduce you to the real owner of said thing.

Alfie. Is this your vehicle we're coming to inspect?

Yes. I haven't told Anthony

what this is yet. What's it going to be?

There you go.

Hey, hey Tuk-Tuk. Both exotic and unique.

You haven't done one of those before. I've not.

That is brilliant.

Got our own grammatical errors in it.

Ah, that works, that's very nice, that is very cool.

Do you want me to get it out? It's beautiful. Yes, do.

Ah, that is superb! Where did you bring it back from?

Back from Sri Lanka from Gaul in the south of Sri Lanka.

And you imported this? We imported this ourselves,

which was a struggle on its own.

Thing that got it for me was, look at the seat covers,

Natural Resources Wales.

Oh, you haven't put that on? That was done in Sri Lanka.

You're joking. That was as we found it.

What are you gonna do with it?

When it first came, I took Alfie to school in it.

The entire school came out to see it,

showed it to the entire school.

It's from Sri Lanka, I bet they did,

it's come a long way to be here. What does it need doing?

All the bodywork has been done, but the engine wasn't done

and all the electricals have failed to start.

We've taken it to a few local garages

and they don't know what it is or how to fix it

or they laugh and walk away.

What is the engine in one of these? 2-stroke proper, 2-stroke.

Proper little tuk-tuk-tuk-tuk. Hence the name.

Ah, look, little baby carburettor, look at that.

It's a fantastic vehicle but,

I'm worried where we're gonna get the bits from,

cos my local dealer are not going to stock stuff for that.

I've got my concerns with this one.

We'd love to do it cos

I love a vehicle that's come a long way to be here.

And you need it to go to school. Yeah.

In that case, we'll take it. We'll do it.

I have a little yellow Opel Kadett called Oliver

that I brought back from Africa

after I'd fallen in love with it over there.

So, I get this. It's wonderful.

Thank you, Alfie, for trusting us with it.

It'll come back working... Yeah, I'll look after it.

..and it'll get you to school.

Thanks Alfie. Good idea with the trailer.

We're going slowly. We'll go at Tuk-Tuk speed.

This is before your time Anthony, this is premixed oil in the petrol.

Two-stroke. They're a bit smoky, but...

So, I think I have to just dive in and have a look at the engine,

see if I can identify any issues.

While Anthony tackles our three-wheeled curiosity,

I've got some four-legged invaders to try and deal with.

Got a visit from the rat catcher.

Hello.

Alan. Hi, Richard. How are you? I'm very well, thanks for coming in.

Bucket of stuff.

Let me take you to the scene of the crime. OK.

Sequence of events was, we opened this cupboard under the sink

and there were millions of droppings in there.

Size of a grain of rice? Yeah. Yeah. Mice. That suggests mice.

Yes, if it was somewhat bigger, I'd have suggested rats.

Obviously, this is a classic car restoration workshop.

Yeah. Mice in here is a real problem.

Right. Let me show you around. This is why I don't want mice.

So that's... A Bentley! ..very rare.

But I'm guessing in there, there's rubber,

there's cloth, there's leather. The mouse would eat the leather,

go through the leather into the horsehair

to make up bedding and would chew the wiring to wear down its teeth,

which are growing, constantly.

So, this extremely valuable and precious Bentley

represents everything a mouse needs.

There's food, bedding and a dentist in there.

Absolutely. Right.

Then we've got to get rid of the mouse.

Easier said than done with animal lover Neil on the premises.

What's going on here? Are you going camping or something?

No, we need to deal with our mouse situation.

Come have a look at what I have here.

We've got to get rid of the mice cos they're going to eat cars.

And I've had a guy, Alan, in, who's from the Gamekeepers Association,

so they all deal with mice and keeping them away.

So, this one, which has batteries in it, little mousey comes in,

bait is there, back feet there, front feet there, completes circuit,

capacitor sends charge through, electric kills mouse.

What do you mean capacitor?

Well, that whacks the mouse. What do you mean, whack it?

It kills the mouse. Mouse trap.

What, electrocute it to death?

Well, it's quick.

This is a garage, not The Green Mile.

Well, you can't do that. You know, you can't.

I knew this was going to be a problem.

You can't kill it. Might have babies.

That's the problem, they might have babies.

Yeah, but I couldn't do it.

Here's what I think we do.

We set up a little camera. Yeah?

We see what we've got. I think that would be a good idea.

That went how I expected it to go, I knew Neil would have a problem

and actually, you know, I admire the guy for not wanting to kill stuff.

He's Doctor-Bloody-Dolittle with a spanner in his hand.

He really is.

"I can't murder it!"

How's it going? Starting to struggle a bit now,

and we're gonna need to find some bits for it.

When was the last time you drove through Hereford

and saw a Tuk-Tuk?

Well, OK, it's rare around here, but not globally.

Also, it's only got about eight moving parts.

Problem is you go on eBay

and put in Tuk-Tuk parts, not a lot comes up.

Right, what's broken? It's the stator.

You can see it's all burnt and oily, and...

Right. So, stator is those coils.

And that's broken. This has had it. So, what are you gonna do?

Well, Dan, the chap that owns it

has given me a number of a bloke in Sri Lanka.

Hopefully, he can supply us the part.

So, we're gonna call a man in Sri Lanka?

Well, give it a go. Yeah. Mate, why is nothing ever simple?

Hello, I'm Richard. This is Anthony.

We got your name from Dan.

This is his Tuk-Tuk in our workshop.

What we need...

Can you help? It's broken.

It's the control coil. What happened to this?

Basically, no spark.

Can you help us get a new one?

Ah, you want a new one?

Yes, we need a new coil unit.

Yes, I can post to you. Ah, perfect. Brilliant.

Bye. Have a nice day.

Warmer there than here, it's cold here. Yeah, bye-bye.

We can get in touch with him and get the parts.

Actually, get the parts. Thank you, I appreciate that.

International relations you see, you're better.

I'm going to London

cos I joined the RAC, the Royal Automobile Club.

I was accepted some months ago but I haven't been once.

There's 10-year-old me thinking, wait a minute,

I'm on a train going into London, wearing a suit, I must be grown up.

Genuinely it surprises me.

So, I'm going in to meet with Ben Cussins,

an old mate, the chairman.

Cos I've gotta decide what racing am I gonna do,

what's the budget gonna be? Are we gonna be any good? I don't know.

Because if I'm going to try and get into that world with my business,

he can probably help.

Afternoon, sir. Hello.

Hi there.

I'm here to see Ben Cussins, I have an appointment to meet him.

I'll give him a call. Thank you very much.

I'll loiter, and look at this Alfa Romeo 6C.

That is the best weekend away of your life.

Yes, my dear. I'll bring the Alfa.

Richard! Hello, Ben. How are you? Welcome to your club.

I know! How exciting! Thank you for laying that on for me.

Do I get to take that home? Sadly not.

She's breath-taking. Just beautiful. Where are we going? Upstairs.

First floor, have a look at the library.

This building, was it built specifically for the club?

Yep. 1908, they decided they needed a new clubhouse

that befitted those early motorists,

they were absolute pioneers of industry.

It's not a clubhouse, is it? Look at it!

They all put their hands in their own pockets

to build this place. I mean, what vision!

So, this is our magnificent motoring library.

One of the great things in our archive,

we were asked to become custodians of Stirling Moss's photo albums

that chronicles his whole racing career.

What we've got here is the 1955 book.

That was the year he won the British Grand Prix at Aintree.

But most importantly, he had his greatest race ever.

He won the Mille Miglia. This is fabulous stuff.

I'd only want to be a racing driver of that era,

but I would never be brave enough.

It was pretty deadly in those days. Oh, God, yeah.

Some survived and sadly some didn't.

So, here's my plan.

I propose setting up a small race team.

We're gonna campaign to get in with the right people.

So, they see us, they see our work

and there's a chance that when they stick it in the wall,

they might give it to me to repair. What do you think?

That's a good idea.

Never been more race series, race championships.

What would your advice be, where do I start?

I don't have a big budget, Ben.

Well, you can't just put in a roll bar, a set of seats

and turn up at the race and think

you're gonna be in any way competitive.

And is there a massive pitfall awaiting?

Is there something I could do wrong that would ruin the business?

This is not gonna be without risk.

How do you make a small fortune in motor racing?

I think you know the answer. Start with a large one.

Ah, no, yeah, I suspect.

What I'm trying to work out is, could I get this wrong

and make a mistake and turn people off The Workshop

so they never wanna come to us?

No. Because I believe if you turn up with a well-presented,

well-prepared car, you'll make a lot of friends, you'll have a lot of fun

and people will come to you and say, I like the way you operate.

Right, OK.

Let's drink to this great venture. Yes, well...

Good luck. Thank you. I think we're going to need it.

I think he might completely surprise us all

and build an absolutely bloody fabulous car.

But they're probably going to spend more money doing it

than they budget. That's kind of a given.

But Richard has put his money where his mouth is

and now, I think huge credit to him. Very few people ever do that.

2 00:24:49.120 -- 00:24:54.320 align:middle line:90% position:50% I really need to get some momentum behind this going racing idea.

So, I've done what I always do, which is find a deadline.

There's an event in a week and we can take the car there

and launch our intentions, officially.

The car hasn't got to be finished, but it's got to look right.

It can't just be an old car.

So, there's a lot to be done, like, a lot.

And to hit that deadline, it's going to have to really,

have to pull the guys off whatever they're doing and put them on that.

Don't know how they are going to feel about it.

So, MGB GT. Verdict?

Solid. Good base.

So, it's not going to take forever to do. What's not forever?

The problem is, we need to get work out the way

to keep paying the overheads, but then we could do this.

We could do after hours, couldn't we? Weekends.

It could be our baby

and we want people to see it and people to think, yeah.

Talking about people seeing it, I've signed us up for an opportunity

for people to see it before we even race it.

Have you heard of the Classic Car Restoration Show?

What, the NEC? Yes. Yeah, we go every year.

It's a good one, isn't it? Yeah.

I've said that we could put this car on a stand,

not our stand, but it'll be there.

It's like a launch, we are a race team.

So, why don't we get the outside painted?

No, no, if you got the outside painted.

Just like that. But you could paint it.

Make it look like a race car. Don't have to open the bonnet.

We can make it look like a race car. So, we can crack on. Oh, yeah.

Problem we got is, it ain't just a few people looking at this car,

going to look at a car that anybody's done.

It's gonna be involving Richard Hammond.

Gotta do our best to make it look as good as we can.

It isn't just the Smallest Cog and Richard Hammond,

it's a reputation we've earnt over many years between us,

and can't let it slide.

If it ain't right, it won't be going.

I will pull it and say, it can't go.

Right now, this could be no more humane.

You cannot object to this

cos we're going to hunt mice with cameras.

These are motion detecting.

So, mouse comes along...

Blink, it films it. Right.

Can see what's where.

Then it has its moment on TV and then we know what kind of humane,

non-murdering trap... Non-murdering.

Non-murdering trap.

So, I'm going to put mine here, so little mousey steps out.

Little does he know, he's on TV.

I'm the mousey coming down here. You want to be able to see my hand.

Yeah? Now this...

Outside. Let's do it outside.

Micey, micey, micey. This is exciting.

He thinks there's a chance it's getting in there.

In that hole. So, what we could do... Put that. Yeah.

Bit lower. There it is.

Turn the camera on and it just sits there dormant until something moves.

Dormouse? Dormant. Right. That's on.

Wildlife. Yeah. We'll probably get, like, a BAFTA

might get awards for wildlife photography.

Yeah, you never know.

Finally, the new part has arrived from Sri Lanka and it actually fits.

I bet I'm the only one in Herefordshire now

working on a Tuk-Tuk.

Put the magneto case back on

and hopefully might be able to fire her up then.

Right, is it done? Ready. Really? Yeah.

Is it ready to get back to Dan and Alfie?

Yeah. Right. Well, let's take it. Can I confess something?

Not now that I've got to get in the back.

I've never driven one of these. How do I... Ignition there.

Pull that. What, is that like a jumpstart? Yeah.

It kicked back.

Give it a good pull. Really pull it like, pull it like...

There you go! Oh, I like that.

Right. Right, let's go. In you get.

Hey, hey!

Rich? Yeah?

Why are we driving this back?

Because it's a faff getting it on the trailer

cos it's only got three wheels. Yeah? Plus, it's fun!

I've got a gear left. You ready? Go on.

I'm in top!

Put your satnav on. It'll tell us how fast we're going.

20. Yeah!

23! Oh, my word!

25. 27! Yes!

We've nearly reached the speed limit!

Lean.

We made it. That's one hell of a journey.

It's back again. Hello. Hello. Hello.

One Tuk-Tuk, repaired. Wow.

That's much better than it ran before, that's for certain.

It's good to see it back, isn't it Alf? It's running a treat.

How did the engine fix go? It went well.

We didn't take the engine out.

We managed to get the stator off in situ in the engine bay.

And I changed all the wiring.

What we got sent over from Sri Lanka.

So, you are good to go. Oh, fantastic. Back on the road.

Enjoy your first trip to school in it.

We might have to have a few beforehand.

You should test it. We shall leave it with you.

Grubby monetary issues...

Anthony will be in charge of sending the invoice.

Thank you very much. Really nice to have it back.

Enjoy. Enjoy it.

Nice to see you two. See you then! Bye-bye!

That went well. It's funny.

The crazier the vehicle, the more fun it is handing it back. Exactly.

Rich?

I know what you're going to say, getting home.

Yeah, I'm ahead of you.

Hi, Neil?

Yeah, we're in Kilcot. I didn't think this through.

Can you... Yes.

We'll be on the main road. Thank you.

2 00:31:54.440 -- 00:31:58.320 align:middle line:90% position:50% Wow! Look at that! I'll tell you what...

Should've brought me sunglasses this morning.

That colour was the right colour. Look at the shine on that.

Richard's going to be amazed with that, isn't he?

I think so. Look at that though, don't that just transform that car?

Made a hell of a difference to it.

Hello.

Wow! It looks fabulous, doesn't it? Gonna look great as a race car.

So, are you pleased with the way it's gone on?

Yes. A lot of work as usual, but, yeah.

Gents, I've got a bit of a thing.

Oh, I'm a bit worried why you're looking at me like that?

You know, we've only got tomorrow to get it ready.

And today. Yeah.

I really want to go horse racing tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

Which means I wouldn't be here to help at all.

Skiving? Yes.

You can skive tomorrow

if you can get the roll cage bolted in that today.

But if you scratch the paint, you will lose a testicle.

OK.

Right. Let's do this.

Come on, then! All right!

Just do everything very, very, very, very, very slowly.

That's too fast. I always do. No, that's too quickly.

Now, careful. That's it. Grab the loop at the top.

Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. Right.

Mind that. That's it.

Hey, that was teamwork. Proper race team stuff that.

That's Cog team, that is. Yeah.

By the end of today that car's got to have brakes done,

lights in it, everything we can put on it that we've got,

cos tomorrow lunchtime, that thing is on its way to the NEC.

Oh, bugger! What's happened there, then?

I've scratched it. I'm going to die. I'm basically dead.

This is a dead man you're looking at.

Come with me for a second.

Yes.

Well, luckily, I never painted this car,

so, that'll be down to bad workmanship.

Obviously, the paint wasn't applied properly in that area

and then it's flaked off.

Behind me, isn't he? Yeah.

Yeah. Look what Richard's done!

Oh, what? Come on!

What happened? Neil, you total snake.

Oh, that's all right. Seen worse than that.

You can keep your testicles. Thank you very much. Thank you.

I'm really sorry. I apologise. It's all right.

That was properly evil that was.

I am aware, there's a cockerel,

it is actually quite early in the morning,

but that's OK cos it's race day.

But not the racing, not my racing.

There are horses involved.

That said, there is prize money.

Sometimes it's quite a lot.

I've never seen a penny of it.

You've got... I've got coffee.

It's the last day of the National Hunt season.

And our horse Farinet is entered in quite an exciting and big race.

Whenever Farinet actually races, I do get quite nervous.

Mind, you absolutely brick yourself. Yeah, I do.

Although, we were expecting rain and it didn't come.

So, actually, the likelihood of Farinet running today is quite slim

cos he likes quite soggy ground, and when the ground's hard,

and it doesn't suit your horse, it's not a good idea.

Not a good idea.

You see, now Richard Hammond, all he's thinking about is beer.

Wait a minute.

I appreciate the majesty of the beasts

and the excitement and thrill of the race

and the fact that you can drink Guinness

from 11 o'clock in the morning. Yeah.

Minderella. Are you ready? Just about. Are you prepared? Yes.

Just about. Just about. Good.

Yes. Just thinking about time.

And they're off!

Funny, funny man. Funny man.

Getting out of this house, honestly...

It can be 25 minutes between, let's go and going.

I shan't be rushed.

You might wanna sit down for this one, mate.

I've literally just had a phone call off Dad.

Yeah. Is he all right? He's not well. What happened?

He's just feeling really under the weather.

He's not good at all.

And I know Dad, he normally comes in if he's...

What, he's not coming in? No. Oh, no.

What, is it a sickness bug then? Must be, he's not well at all.

So, you're telling me then, just me and you, got to finish the MG

and we've gotta get it on the trailer and get it to Birmingham

and get it on the stand.

One of those mornings when you wish you'd just stayed in bed.

2 00:37:03.480 -- 00:37:05.640 align:middle line:90% position:50% As usual, stressed.

Not many hours left to do it. Lastminute.com.

We'll just have to go there, show a brave face and represent the company

as if Neil was there, but I will miss not having him there.

Oh, this is nice, isn't it? They're all champions.

I mean that, champions means they have won,

but what have they won? Big stuff.

Look at that one. That's the best. That's a nice one. I like that one.

Let's go and visit Farinet.

Am I going have to brace for disappointment here?

I've got all keyed up... Look at the weather.

If it was pouring with rain, it would be perfect for Farinet.

Why did you buy an amphibious racehorse?

Listen, he's a good racehorse and he's a beautiful thing.

He's practically a duck.

Right, see if we can find him.

There he is, there's our boy.

Beautifully turned out.

But ultimately, he's not running, is he?

Well...

It's rock hard.

So, that's it? Yeah.

He's just a horse that likes soft ground, that's all.

Are you blaming evolution?

No, no, horses for courses.

That's where it comes from. That's where it comes from.

That is really, really irritating. Horses for courses.

In the meantime, he costs money to run.

Yes, but he has won twice here and his prize money pays for his keep.

Can we watch the racing anyway? Yeah. We'll have a great day out.

And I am not going to be on tenterhooks going...

Mindy, you are happier when he's not running.

I'm happy when he runs in the right conditions.

The conditions aren't right includes being outside

or there is too much air in the air. Wrong type of tree around the course.

Come on. Let's go.

Can I go to the bar? Yes. Do you know where it is? Yes.

Will you lead me there? OK. Thank you.

Little does this sleeping world know that today it learns the news

that we, The Smallest Cog, are going racing in an old MGB.

It is today we make the announcement.

Not only will we be unveiling the car

to the eagerly awaiting world today,

I haven't seen it with the decals on,

the graphics that we did, our livery.

So, I'm pretty excited. It's going to be my first chance to see it.

Hello, mate. Right, here it is.

I haven't yet seen... You haven't seen this car, have you?

A bit nerve wracking.

But it's not actually opened the show yet, so we can do...

Do you want to have a sneak peek? Yes. I'm quite scared.

Oh, yes.

Yes.

What do you reckon, Richard? That looks great.

Oh, it's nice, isn't it? They are lovely colours.

The colours work. Yeah. They're brilliant. Yeah.

I'm relieved now cos you're happy with it.

It's opening sort of now-ish.

So, we'll just stay out of the way of it until we do our announcement.

Chaps, we've got a few minutes now,

and we said we're gonna do it at 12, so it's coming up.

I've got this PA, so let's get this set up. That'll be cool.

So, where do you want us?

I think if you're sort of at the front of the car...

Me and Andrew are going to be the showgirls.

We're gonna pull back the cover and reveal the beast.

Right. Hello, ladies and gentlemen. We are The Smallest Cog.

We are a new classic car restoration business.

And we are going classic car racing.

We will be there right alongside the people who love their cars.

And when they do damage them in any way,

we'll be able to offer our services to repair them.

To that end, we need a race car. We have it here with us today.

Anthony and Andrew, if you'd like to do duties, please,

to unveil our new car. Three, two, one. Reveal it.

Look out for us on the racing scene this year.

We will be there and we hope to see you there.

It was quite a moment just to reveal it and say to people.

Well, we're going racing, to announce our intention

and people didn't laugh us off stage.

By and large, the response has been, it's the right thing to do.

This is a lovely car. Richard's on to something here.

It's a beautiful car.

So, what do you think then of our new adventure?

Brave move. Very brave move.

It's probably a case of keeping it simple.

You go racing, then you've got the extra expense of fire systems

and the seats and harnesses and all the other stuff.

Arguably you're gonna spend 20 to 30 grand

putting a car into a race series

then you're gonna have a really nice race car at the end of it. Yeah.

Not being funny the main thing is, I've had a few comments now saying

how expensive this is gonna be to actually race.

My biggest concern is, I don't think Richard understands

how expensive it's gonna be. I don't think he understands costs.

Cos there's like engines, gearboxes, axles, brakes,

then you've gotta get it to events, run it. Entry fees. Yeah.

It could be 20 to 30 grand. Great. Lovely.

The response I've had is generally, good idea. Smart.

I can see the point. Starts off like that. What have you learnt?

We've learnt that racing isn't cheap.

It's going to be a bit, isn't it?

But to get to a competitive stage, it's gonna cost money.

Can't afford to be stone-dead last.

Gotta make a vaguely competitive car. But, hey, let's not be daft.

It was gonna cost some money to do it.

The main message is, people have liked the car.

Ah, that has gone down so well.

We have to chalk the day up as a success.

But this is only a small step

along the way towards becoming a race team.

We haven't even got our car finished yet.

We've got a long way to go. But it's an exciting start.

I think it's going to work.

Oh, that's a big mouse. I think that's a rat.

We've got a really big problem.

We're at this meeting at Goodwood

cos we're literally here to find out is this something we can do?

Is there a car behind us? No. Yeah. You're driving a lethal weapon!