Original subtitles

Ooh, here we go, kids, look.

There, this afternoon in the village.

Mm. FR Peregrine's Travelling Fair. Mm.

Not heard of that one before. Mm.

Looks like a proper old-fashioned one, like when we were kids, Henry.

Are you two going to come?

Well, maybe we should. Do you fancy it?

Mm, I don't know. Not really my thing.

What? Fun?

No. Crowds and that. Not my natural habitat.

Oh, go on.

It'll be nice for us all to go, like, the whole family.

Well, we'll see.

There's the old turnip head. What's he doing?

Looks like he's singing.

Well, come on, then.

Wait.

What?

Let's sneak up on him.

THEY SNICKER

There was an old man who came from the West

With ahoy merindle me doe

And why for he came...

THEY PANT

A high skip, fiddle me kick

In the ring-a-dong-din-ami-doe

A bushel of millet

A hook and billet

A sprat, a hat, a fox and a cat

A high skip, fiddle me kick

In the ring-a-dong-din-ami-doe

A Derry go dandy

Is shandy a brandy?

A roll the hoe jingle

A jack-a-mo-fingle.

A whittle, a whettle, jump over a kettle...

Ahoy merindle me

Roll me, doll me

Ahoy merindle me...

Who are we spying on?

You. Me?

Worzel, we were trying to sneak up on you.

Were you?

What were you making such a noise and a hullabaloo for, then?

But we were being, like, really quiet.

Sounded like a flock of elephants coming through the corn.

Better luck next time. Here.

Have you heard the news? Funfair's come to town.

We're heading there now. Can I come?

Of course. That's why we're here.

Now's a good time to get down there,

have a sneaky peek while no-one's around.

None of the fairground folk will be up till lunchtime.

They'll have been grafting all night.

Probably didn't get their heads down much afore the pinch of day.

And there are prizes, are there?

Yeah, lots of prizes.

And you can win the prizes?

Course. What sort of prizes?

I don't know. Toys, sweets, that sort of thing.

Right, right and the rides and whatnot,

tell me what happens there.

Wait. Have you never been to a fair?

How can I have?

You seem to forget, I aren't supposed to mingle with humans.

Nothing I'd like more than a ride on the whirlaswirler

or to chuck something at something in order

to win something else, but, while I'm a scarecrow,

there aren't much chance of that happening.

Oh. That's sad. I never really thought about that.

My Aunt Sally was from a fairground, though.

She used to tell me all the stories.

There was this one story what all the scarecrows know.

Some of them believes it, some don't.

Go on.

They say, years ago,

there was this travelling fair what had

an enchanted organ. When all the people had gone home,

he played his magical tune what sent all

the fairground folk into a deep, happy sleep

and the scarecrows could enjoy the fair

to themselves without fear of being seen. Imagine that.

Do you believe the story?

Think I do. I wants to.

Mm, sounds a bit far-fetched to me.

Erm, talking scarecrow?

Good point.

Here. What's the different between a weasel and a stoat?

What?

A weasel's WEAS-ily wecognised, but a stoat's STOAT-ally different.

SHE LAUGHS Good one.

Yeah? Yeah.

Wow. Strange seeing it all quiet.

Let's take a closer look.

So, all the rides'll be going round and round and up

and down, would they? Yeah.

And the coloured lights flashing and people everywhere?

Yeah, and lots of noise and music and people.

What's wrong?

I don't know.

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea coming here.

Just making me sad.

Turns out a closed funfair ain't as much fun as an open funfair.

Hold on.

I've got an idea and this might help.

I can download the sounds of a fairground on my phone.

What's he say?

Wait. This is a good idea.

FAIRGROUND SOUNDS PLAY

Oh!

VOICE DROWNED OUT BY FAIRGROUND SOUNDS

SHOUTS: Look at the little car. Sh. Oh.

Worzel, they'll hear you.

Sorry, sorry, but look. Tiny little cars.

Who thought of that?

Absolute genius.

What happens with the hook-a-fish?

Well, you have to hook a fish.

I see, I see. Clever.

Prizes!

Yeah. What would you choose?

Don't know.

Are you all right, Worzel?

Feel a bit feekle-weeble.

Ooh! We got you!

Oh. Sorry, sorry.

Just a bit overwhelming.

Ahem.

Oh. Hello.

Two children and a scarecrow? What can this mean?

Sorry. We were just going home. Taking a short cut.

I hope you don't mind. Oh, short cut through the fair. I mean,

that'd make sense for a...

Scarecrow, I mean, that is... That is more unusual.

Oh, forgive me, my name is...Peregrine.

As in Peregrine's�Fair?

Well...yes.

So this is your fair?

It is. It was founded by my great-great-grandfather,

FR Peregrine, in 1870.

Imagine owning a fair.

All right.

Hold on, I don't need to, I do own a funfair. YOU imagine.

Mm? Pretty good, eh?

I'm Susan.

Susan. John.

John. And, er, your friend?

The scarecrow?

Well, he must have a name?

Erm, yeah. Erm, it's Worzel.

Worzel?

Worzel�Gummidge.

Huh. What an excellent name for a fine-looking scarecrow.

Where you taking him? We're just taking it back, back home.

What, has he wandered off again, eh?

Well, I hope to see you back again tonight,

Susan and John, to enjoy the rides and amusements.

And remember - one night only.

We're definitely coming.

Here. Toffee apples.

Cor.

Here you are.

One for you.

And one for you.

And one for Worzel�Gummidge.

Thanks.

Good. Until this evening.

Whoa, weird. Do you think he knows?

About scarecrows?

Asking his name...

"He wandered off again."

Where's my toffee apple?

Who's got my toffee apple? Where is it? Here, Worzel. Calm down.

Oh! Would you get an eyeful of that?

Have you ever seen such a jewel?

Here. Can I give this to my Aunt Sally?

It's yours - you can do what you like with it.

Oh, she'll be tickled pink with this.

She won't admit it - she'll pretend she don't like it,

but I reckon this'll remind her of the old days

before the museum, when she used to travel with the fair.

Before we go to the museum, I'll tell you who else would like

to see this toffee apple - Earthy Mangold.

Let's go and see her. It's on the way. Smashing.

Where did you get that?

Funfair's come to town. It's all there on the green.

Rides, prizes, you name it.

We went down to have a look.

I knew it. I knew something was amiss.

Funfair, is it? Ha-ha! That explains a few things.

Like what?

Like why all you scarecrows are losing your heads

and acting all giddy and foolish.

I can't keep track of Soggy Bogart or Jackie Pudding

or any of the allotment scarecrows - and now I know why.

I don't like when the fair comes to town.

Causes imbalance and odd behaviour.

Come on, Earthy, you must be a bit excited?

What use in getting excited about a fair? We can't go, full stop.

Well, what about the story?

If you're about to tell me that silly magical enchanted-organ story,

you can put a cork in it, Worzel�Gummidge.

So you're not a believer?

Scarecrows isn't humans and we'd all get on a lot better

if we stopped wishing we were.

If Worzel or Soggy or any of those troublemakers

are planning on going anywhere near that fair tonight

when it's open, who knows the consequences?

It'd be imbalanced too far.

Chillins, you go and have a lovely time

and you can tell us all about it tomorrow.

Thanks, Earthy. I'll try and win you a prize.

Well, I'm... I wouldn't say no to a prize.

Ha. Now she's excited!

And you should be happy with your toffee apple

and put all thoughts of the fair out of your turnip head.

Oh, I aren't keeping this for myself,

I's giving it to my Aunt Sally to remind her of the olden days.

Wow. That's a lovely gesture, Worzel.

I'm going to the museum now.

Send her my best.

Pip-pip, scarecrow.

Pip-pip, Worzel.

Stay away from the fair. Do you understand?

Scarecrow's word.

Pip-pip, chillins.

Psst...

All right, Soggy? What you doing?

You going down the museum, then?

Yeah... Why?

INDISTINCT WHISPERING

How are we going to get you there without being seen?

I got this. You know what this is?

A key?

A skeleton key.

It'll open any lock you like. Any one at all.

Is that legal?

Probably not for humans.

Different rules for scarecrows.

Aunt Sally gave me this one so I could sneak in

the back door of the museum and visit her as often as I want.

Aw! How often is that?

Hardly never, if I'm honest,

but it's the thought that counts. Oh.

Down here, we have several interesting local pieces,

and some from further afield.

What is this?

Oh, that's an Aunt Sally. Probably late Victorian.

It was a game. You threw sticks at it.

A crude piece of folk art, very much out of fashion these days

and, yes, this is a... particularly alarming example.

You shouldn't be eating or drinking in the galleries.

This, on the other hand, is a valuable and beautiful example

of a figure from a fairground organ.

KEY CLATTERS

She was acquired by the museum from Peregrine's Fair many years ago,

when the organ was converted to electricity,

and she's rare because she was carved

by the fair's original founder - FR Peregrine.

How'd you know?

Because he signed it.

Moving on through to the next room,

we have pickled tapeworms in jars.

Auntie. It's me, Worzel.

What are you doing here? Came to see you.

A likely story! I don't believe you for a second.

I used the skeleton key you gave me.

Oh, I'm surprised that hasn't rusted away!

Remember my friends? I believe you've met before.

Hello. Hi.

Mm.

So... How've you been, Auntie?

Well, I haven't been very well at all.

Not that you're likely to ask.

How long have you been skulking back there?

Oh, just got here. Did you hear what she said?

Who? That woman. No, what did she say?

None of your business, boy. Nosey Parker.

Here. Look what I got.

I brought you this.

Great gracious. A toffee apple!

Fair's come to town. One night only.

Yes, yes, no, so I heard.

We went down, had a look round while it was still quiet.

Made me think of you, Auntie.

All those stories you used to tell me as a nipper.

That's why I brought you this.

Ugh. No, thank you - horrid sickly things.

Never could stomach them.

Oh, come on, Auntie, there must be something you miss about the fair.

What, all the flashing coloured lights?

And the...music and the prizes and...

and dancing and the merriment and fun and the music?

No. I don't miss it at all, thank you very much.

And I very much hope you're not

thinking of going back there tonight.

Oh, don't worry, I knows I'm not allowed,

I already promised Earthy.

Tell you what, I'll leave this toffee apple here.

You might fancy it later.

I very much doubt it.

You never know. I'll just leave it here

and you can decide in your own time.

Now...

..run along. It's very nice to see you, I'm sure,

but I'm getting one of my heads.

Fair enough. Pip-pip, Auntie. Mind how you go.

Bye, Aunt Sally. Mm!

AUNT SALLY TUTS

SHE GASPS

Ooh, Worzel, you've dropped your...

Ahhh! Butter-fingered buffo-o-o-on!

I don't know why, but... I really like Aunt Sally.

She's so rude, it, like, almost cancels itself out.

I knows what you mean. It's quite comforting.

Tell you what, though,

I hope she does eat that toffee apple. I kind of fancy it now.

Nah. She liked it.

You could tell - I mean, it reminded her of the fair.

Yeah. It was a good thing you did.

So, what you up to later?

Do you want to go throw stones in the brook?

Er, we're going to the fair.

Aww, hoped you might have forgotten about it.

We were literally just talking about it? I mean, just then.

Worth a try. Sorry, Worzel. I mean, I wish you could come.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't mind.

You go along and have a lovely time and, like Earthy says,

come back and tell me all about it tomorrow.

Toodle-pip, chillins.

'Ere, missus.

Are you referring to me? Yeah, you, missus.

Please don't call me missus. I chose not to marry.

Right. Are you going to eat that?

Certainly not. I'll have it, if you don't want it.

Well, if you must.

I was going to... I was going to throw it away. Hm!

I heard what that woman said about you.

I thought she was rude.

Yes, well, sticks and stones!

I reckon you was once beautiful.

I was. Like you - fresh paint and varnish.

I had a pink gown originally. Real silk.

I bet you looked lovely.

Mm! SHE CHUCKLES

Oh! That taste!

Brings it all flooding back.

The polished brass, the painted signs.

I can see the lights. DISTANT BELLS RINGING

I can... I can hear the...

DISTANT CHATTER, MUSIC

What can you hear?

I can hear the music.

The music from the calliope organ.

What music is it playing? What tune?

Oh. So you do miss the fair. Don't be ridiculous.

You do.

I can see it in your eyes. You miss it as much as me.

Silly girl.

WHISPERS: I can take you there.

WHISPERS: What do you mean?

You know the story of the magical calliope organ?

It's true.

This is the music. I'm taking it to the fair,

to put all the humans to sleep.

I know some scarecrows, they're picking me up.

Escape? Oh, it's just for one night!

We'll be back before anyone's even noticed we've gone.

How are they picking you up?

Oh, they've got bikes. Bikes?

Yeah, sort of.

But I'm going to need that key.

Oh, I see!

You don't care about me, you just need my key.

Well, you can't have it.

I will not be complicit in a breakout

and I shan't go to the fair.

Funfairs are for the young and beautiful,

not for the old and decrepit. Not for the out-of-fashion!

But you can be young again...

..if you hear the music.

What... What are you talking about?

The music.

It turns back time.

You will be young again.

And beautiful.

I promise.

Come with me.

FUNFAIR MUSIC

INDISTINCT CHATTER

Oh, yeah. Yeah. We're going to go on those.

Look at that.

This is the life.

Wouldn't swap this for nothing.

Who needs coloured light bulbs when you got this?

Who needs fairground music

when the stormcock's singing his song?

TWEETING

Ha! Who needs prizes?

This...

This is my...

This is my...

..prize.

CHUCKLING, CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS

Let's have a look.

LAUGHTER

CHICKEN CLUCKS

DING! Whoo!

Thank you.

INDISTINCT CHATTER

Whoo!

that's it, ladies and gentlemen, is everybody on board?

CHUCKLING

You all right?

Yeah, sure?

Shall I keep hold of the key?

You most certainly shall not.

Well, where are they, then? They'll be here.

VOICES APPROACHING

ENGINES APPROACH

You ladies need a ride?

I brought my friend, Aunt Sally. She's coming too.

Dig it. More the merrier.

BRUMM! BRUMMM!

Hike your petticoats up, Sal, and saddle up.

Pollypop, Pudding, do your thang!

Brummm! Brummmm! Yeeee-haw!

Brummm! Brummmm!

Whoo!

Whooo!

INDISTINCT CHATTER

Oh, the snake. We have snakes.

The balls get stuck - look.

I feel like I want that one there. No, I don't want to...

Oh, look, look, look, there's Mr Peregrine.

What if he mentions Worzel?

Susan, John, so glad you could make it.

Sorry, do you know each other?

Us three? Susan, John and myself?

Oh, well, we've known each other since, er...

When did we meet? This morning. This morning, yes!

We came down early to see it all set up.

This is Mr Peregrine.

What - as in Peregrine's Fair?

The very same. Ooh!

And, er, these must be your parents.

Yes.

Yes? Yeah.

Yeah? Yes?

BOTH: Yeah!

Yes.

Oh!

Er, this morning, you weren't alone. Did you not bring a friend?

Why do all your prizes have so much plastic wrapping on them?

I'm sorry?

Why do all your prizes have so much plastic wrapping on them?

Er, well, that's how they come from the suppliers.

You should try and find suppliers

that don't use so much plastic wrapping.

I should! I will!

Anyways, thanks for the toffee apples earlier.

It was nice to see you again. Bye.

INDISTINCT CHATTER, LAUGHTER

THEY GIGGLE

Thanks, Soggy.

You know what to do?

Oh, yeah, we wait here

and watch for the signal.

Woo!

Ha-ha!

Woo!

Soggy...

Yeah?

Be cool.

Cool.

Right.

So, I'm going to need the music.

I'm coming with you,

I want to get closer.

WORZEL GASPS

That's enough fun and games for me, up early in the morning.

You seen enough, kids, ready to go home?

Um, can we actually follow you back in a bit?

Oh, what's the time?

Oh, OK.

Be safe. We will.

See ya! Enjoy yourselves.

Night, night.

THEY EXCLAIM

Soggy?

Muddy boots, what are you lot doing here?

Top-secret mission, Scarecrow, can't tell you.

Go on. Tell us.

All right.

My friend, Calliope Jane,

she's got that magical music

that will send the humans to sleep and we brought her here.

What? Who?

Story's true, Gummidge, tonight's the night.

Where is she, then?

Oh, they're just getting into position.

They're going to send us a signal when we can go.

They?

Yeah, she brought a friend. Aunt Sally.

Aunt Sally's here?

What, you know her?

If she's found, they'll throw sticks at her. We've gotta find her.

We said we'd stay here.

I'm going in.

Oh, you can't. What?! No, you can't, You'll...

You'll blow the whole thing, Bummidge!

I gotta find Aunt Sally.

Bummidge!

Shh.

Kids, kids. Did I say the wrong thing?

Did I get you in trouble?

I sensed that you didn't want your parents

to know about your scarecrow, erm... What's his name again?

Worzel. Yeah, that's it. Worzel�Gummidge.

It's all right.

We just didn't want them to know that he'd wandered off again.

Yes. I see.

I've been thinking about him all day, you know.

Seeing Worzel awoke in me

a memory that was right on the brink of being forgotten forever.

When I was a boy...

..very young, I mean, five or six.

I remember being woken one night,

just before dawn by strange music.

My parents were sleeping.

I slipped out of bed.

I peeked through the caravan door and...

..I thought I saw...

..scarecrows...

..dancing.

Do you believe that scarecrows can...

..come alive?

Yes.

Walk and talk. Enjoy a funfair.

Erm, sounds a bit far-fetched to me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, the time's nearly come

to an end for our visit here at...

Where are we?

Scatterbrook. Scatterbrook!

It's time for you to go home and for us to start packing all this up

for our next adventure.

Have you enjoyed yourselves?

Definitely.

Thank you.

Well, until next time.

OK, did that story not just sound like...

This is the fair. This is the one.

Worzel should be here.

God, I wish he had a phone!

I wish he'd just let us give him a phone.

Fat chance with those fingers.

Oh, my gosh. I just saw him.

Where?

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, thank you for visiting

Peregrine's Fair, I hope to see you again next year.

If you wouldn't mind making your way to the exit.

Goodbye.

Thanks for coming.

Aunt Sally!

Goodbye. Thanks for coming.

Worzel!

Chillins! It's the organ, the magical organ.

He saw you when he was boy. Mr Peregrine remembers.

Tonight's the night. Aunt Sally's here. Aunt Sally's here? Yes!

How?

She broke out with Calliope Jane.

Soggy and the Trubblemakers sprung 'em from the museum.

No idea how.

Must have had a go-between. An accomplice.

Look!

PEREGRINE: That's it, get those signs back up.

We've got to get this stuff moving. Come on.

Thank you!

Same time, next year.

Where'd they go?

They just disappeared.

Worzel?

Hello?

Worzel, is that you?

Aunt Sally?

In here, you numbskull! In the caravan.

Somebody's only gone and shut the door.

I've got to get to the organ before they take it apart. Let us out.

Somebody's locked it.

Your key, Worzel. Your skeleton key.

I can't find it, it's not here.

I have it.

In there?

In here.

What, with you?

With me.

Oh, that's not very helpful.

Anybody see a signal?

I can't see it.

Neither can I.

What will it look like?

What'd you say?

Well, what are we looking out for, do you think?

Well, you heard her. A signal.

Oh, right, right, right.

What kind of signal?

I don't know what kind of signal. I forgot to ask. Comprende?

Look. The lights are going off. Is that the signal?

That's good enough for me. Let's ride.

THEY REV THEIR ENGINES

Quiet!

Let's ride quietly.

SOFT ENGINE SPUTTERING NOISES

They're locked shut.

The chimney. Can you reach the chimney?

That's it. Try and reach the chimbly.

Can't reach!

Aunt Sally. Give her a leg up.

How dare you?

Well, try throwing it.

Didn't work. Try again.

Not happening. Try one more time.

Where'd it go? Do you see it?

Oh, there. In the stinging nettles.

Oh, no.

Somebody's gonna have to wade in there and get 'em...

Will you do it?

Oh, man, but I hate stinging nettles. They really hurt.

Somebody's got to do it.

All right, then. Here goes.

Wait. Do nettles sting scarecrows?

Stinging nettles? No. Can't feel 'em.

Well, you do it, then!

Oh. Right-ho.

Got it.

There.

The Gallopers. That's where the organ is. That's where I have to get...

Watch out!

Here, guys, can I get everyone helping with these tarps,

quick as you like.

That's it. Lift it up. That's it. Right...

OK.

There... There we go.

Vroom.

Vroom!

ORGAN PLAYS SOFTLY

THEY CHEER

Hey.

Vroom!

Whoa, whoa!

ORGAN MUSIC ECHOES SOFTLY

The music won't make me young again.

You just wanted my key.

I wanted you to come.

I could see you missed the fair.

Oh, what was I thinking?

Vanity. That's all it was. Jealousy.

Jealous? Jealous of what?

Of you, you wretched girl.

Of your youth and your beauty, of your craftsmanship

and your kindness.

Who am I but a bad-tempered, crude piece of folk art?

I'm a fake.

I'm not even carved.

What do you mean?

You're the work of a master carver.

I... I... I... I've seen the signature. FRP.

There. The woman said so.

They got it wrong, Sal.

Humans.

They only see what they wanna see.

I was hand-painted, but that's not a signature.

Those letters don't stand for F R Peregrine.

Well, what do they stand for, then?

Fibre Reinforced Plastic.

What... What? You mean, you're...

Moulded. Yeah.

Well, then, you should not be in a museum.

I know! That's why I'm not going back.

You can't stay here.

You'd be returned as soon as they found you.

I'm not staying.

Soggy and the gang, they're hitting the roads and I'm going with them.

The travelling life?

Come with us.

No... No. I'll go back to the museum.

That's where I belong.

With all the antiques, where Worzel can come to visit.

SOFT MUSIC PLAYS

Ah, this tune.

I wish, I wish

But it's all in vain

I wish I was

A maid again

But a maid again

I'll never be

Till apples grow

On an orange tree...

SOFT SNORING

WHOOPING

THEY REV THEIR ENGINES

ROCK'N'ROLL STYLE MUSIC

SINGING: All right. Huh.

She's a fibreglass woman, yeah, she's tough and light

I'd like to take her dancing on a Saturday night

Her skin is smooth and her feet are cold

And when they fabricated her, they broke the mould

Yeah, she's strong, strong, strong

But she's light, light, light

Don't fancy your chances

If you face her in a fight

She's fully laminated from her head down to her toes

And she'll stay with me forever cos she'll never decompose

Ooh, come on

Oh, get the chills, baby

Ooh, she's cold

Oh, come on!

I don't like this modern music.

I'd like to go home, now.

Right you are, Auntie.

I think it's probably time we all called it a night.

Scarecrow time, rocking tonight.

The open road is calling, gang.

Time to get some miles behind us.

Woo!

You coming?

Uh-huh-huh!

Goodbye, Aunt Sally.

You're beautiful.

Silly girl.

You'll need this.

Ho. Saddle up!

SHE REVS HER ENGINE Oh, hey!

Woo!

It's time to go now

Haul away your anchor

Haul away your anchor

Tis our sailing time

It's time to go, now

Haul away your anchor

Haul away your anchor

Tis our sailing time...

Did you enjoy yourself, Worzel?

Ah. You know I did.

I know Earthy says we should all stop wishing we was humans,

but I can't help it sometimes.

You don't know how lucky you are, being humans.

Are you dropping by later?

Probably.

Probably see you later, then. Pip-pip, chillins.

Pip-pip, scarecrow.

Worzel.

Almost forgot.

See ya later.

Oh the sun shines bright

And the corn grows high

And the crows are gathering

In the sky

And the scarecrow sees

And the scarecrow knows

How the seasons change

And the seasons roll

Oh, scaren, scaren, don't you know?

The scarecrow sees and the scarecrow knows.

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