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1
00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:14,932
- ( Crowd cheering )
- ( bell rings )
2
00:00:15,099 --> 00:00:17,143
Announcer:
And he's down. That's it!
3
00:00:17,310 --> 00:00:20,062
That's it.
Cleon "Slammin' Salmon
4
00:00:20,229 --> 00:00:23,441
is still the Heavyweight
Champion of the World.
5
00:00:23,608 --> 00:00:26,277
What a deadly punch.
It's all over.
6
00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:55,473
( Dinging )
7
00:01:06,859 --> 00:01:08,277
Hi. Two?
8
00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:29,048
Hey, buddy.
9
00:01:30,675 --> 00:01:32,927
Do me a favor.
My girlfriend don't like her tuna.
10
00:01:33,094 --> 00:01:35,388
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- It's fine.
11
00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:36,889
What do you mean?
You just said it was under cooked.
12
00:01:37,056 --> 00:01:39,517
- Tell the guy.
- It's fine, Anthony. The guy is busy.
13
00:01:39,684 --> 00:01:42,645
Stacy, he's a monkey wrench.
It's his job. Look.
14
00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:45,940
Oh, let me get that for you.
15
00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:48,192
See? Just tell him what you want
and he'll do it.
16
00:01:48,359 --> 00:01:50,486
- I'm not even that hungry.
- You know what?
17
00:01:50,653 --> 00:01:53,698
Look, this is a little raw.
Just put a little fire on it, all right, buddy?
18
00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:57,034
Uh, sir, tuna is a very delicate fish.
19
00:01:57,201 --> 00:01:58,536
Whoa.
You think you're better than me?
20
00:01:58,703 --> 00:02:00,788
No, I don't think
I'm better than you, sir.
21
00:02:00,955 --> 00:02:03,541
Well, you talk to me like I never
ate a piece of fucking fish before.
22
00:02:03,708 --> 00:02:05,501
I'm sure you've had
some fish before, sir.
23
00:02:05,668 --> 00:02:08,713
You know what?
Tell the chef to cook it nice.
24
00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:11,882
And here, we need more butter.
25
00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:14,343
Okay.
I will be right back.
26
00:02:14,510 --> 00:02:16,429
- Yeah, you will.
- Thank you.
27
00:02:16,595 --> 00:02:18,306
Now we got no butter.
28
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:21,142
( Sighs)
29
00:02:21,309 --> 00:02:23,060
Dave, can I get a re-fire?
30
00:02:23,227 --> 00:02:25,688
What did you just say to me?
31
00:02:25,855 --> 00:02:28,357
The guy on table five wants
it cooked a little bit more.
32
00:02:28,524 --> 00:02:31,360
No, they asked for it medium rare.
It's perfect.
33
00:02:31,527 --> 00:02:33,821
If he wants it cooked more
tell him to go shove it up his ass.
34
00:02:33,988 --> 00:02:36,741
You want me to tell that guy
to cook this in his ass?
35
00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:39,410
Yeah, within the inside of his anus.
36
00:02:39,577 --> 00:02:42,913
- Come on, Dave.
- Fine.
37
00:02:45,291 --> 00:02:47,001
Dave, come on.
38
00:02:47,168 --> 00:02:49,712
Fuck him if he doesn't know
what medium rare is.
39
00:02:49,879 --> 00:02:51,088
Anthony:
Are you kidding me?
40
00:02:51,255 --> 00:02:54,675
When I said cook it nice, I didn't mean
bring it back looking like a fucking turd.
41
00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:57,303
Sir, I actually do not cook the food.
I am just a waiter.
42
00:02:57,470 --> 00:02:58,929
Oh, a smart guy.
43
00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:00,556
You want to get smart with me,
smart guy?
44
00:03:00,723 --> 00:03:03,142
Oh, great.
What are you gonna do, kick his ass?
45
00:03:03,309 --> 00:03:04,602
Yeah, maybe I am.
You want me to?
46
00:03:04,769 --> 00:03:06,437
Sure, go ahead.
47
00:03:06,604 --> 00:03:08,481
You always got to beat
the shit out of the loser.
48
00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:10,983
Like the waiter at the Macaroni Grill,
the waiter at the Olive Garden,
49
00:03:11,150 --> 00:03:12,610
the waiter at Buca di Beppo.
50
00:03:12,777 --> 00:03:15,321
Sir, here at the Slammin' Salmon
there are no problems, just solutions.
51
00:03:15,488 --> 00:03:18,157
You know what?
Here, you puck ass bitch. Here.
52
00:03:18,324 --> 00:03:19,492
You like that?
How about some of that?
53
00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:22,244
Tell me what that tastes like.
And you better say like shit.
54
00:03:22,411 --> 00:03:24,413
( Muffled )
Like shit.
55
00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:27,124
Good, now get the fuck out of here
and bring us some swordfish instead.
56
00:03:27,291 --> 00:03:28,751
( Muffled )
I'll be right back.
57
00:03:28,918 --> 00:03:30,503
And you better not spit that out.
58
00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:32,296
( Muffled )
Okay, I will not.
59
00:03:32,463 --> 00:03:33,964
Thank you.
60
00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:39,303
Up yours, you shit bird.
61
00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:42,890
You've got to be
fucking fucking me.
62
00:03:43,057 --> 00:03:45,518
Were you just eating that piece
of fish on the floor?
63
00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:48,312
You have no idea.
This guy made me eat it.
64
00:03:48,479 --> 00:03:49,522
Oh, really?
65
00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:53,067
A customer shoved the food in your
mouth and told you you had to eat it?
66
00:03:53,234 --> 00:03:55,361
Yeah. He actually told me
I couldn't spit it out too.
67
00:03:55,528 --> 00:03:57,905
Oh man, that's crazy.
What?
68
00:03:58,072 --> 00:04:00,574
And I'm the Prime Minister of Narnia.
69
00:04:01,659 --> 00:04:03,494
You're paying for that piece of fish.
70
00:04:03,661 --> 00:04:04,995
It was a send back.
71
00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:06,664
Then you should have put it
in the send back area.
72
00:04:06,831 --> 00:04:08,999
- You're paying for it.
- You know what?
73
00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:12,711
Fuck this, Carl.
I quit.
74
00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:14,588
Fine, but I'm not the one
you have to tell.
75
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:17,341
- You've got to tell the Champ.
- (gasps)
76
00:04:17,508 --> 00:04:19,677
(gasps)
77
00:04:21,512 --> 00:04:23,514
And I know you don't have
the guts to do it.
78
00:04:24,849 --> 00:04:28,519
All right then, I'll just leave.
Screw the Champ.
79
00:04:28,686 --> 00:04:31,522
You really think you can walk out of here
without telling the Champ?
80
00:04:31,689 --> 00:04:33,524
You remember Marty Millman?
81
00:04:33,691 --> 00:04:37,153
Marty Millman is breathing through
a hole in his throat right now.
82
00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:40,698
Rich, he will find you
and ass fuck you
83
00:04:40,865 --> 00:04:42,533
in the face or in the mouth.
84
00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:45,035
Fine.
Fine, I'll tell him to his face.
85
00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:46,912
- Okay, fine.
- I'll tell him myself.
86
00:04:47,079 --> 00:04:48,789
- Okay, go for it.
- I'm gonna go right now.
87
00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:50,541
- Okay, good luck.
- I'm not afraid of him.
88
00:04:50,708 --> 00:04:52,209
- Okay, bye-bye.
- I'll see you soon.
89
00:04:52,376 --> 00:04:54,378
- We'll be here.
- Carl.
90
00:04:54,545 --> 00:04:57,089
In his face, right?
( chuckles )
91
00:04:57,256 --> 00:04:59,967
( Exhales )
92
00:05:05,389 --> 00:05:07,975
( Sighs)
93
00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:10,436
- ( Bell rings )
- ( man grunts )
94
00:05:10,603 --> 00:05:11,812
( Crowd cheering )
95
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,397
( Man grunting )
96
00:05:20,696 --> 00:05:23,032
( Breathing heavily )
97
00:05:30,706 --> 00:05:32,917
Shit. Fuck it.
Fuck this.
98
00:05:34,460 --> 00:05:38,088
Hey, Carl.
Rich Parente is not a quitter.
99
00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:42,092
- Whoa!
- ( crowd gasps )
100
00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:46,931
( Crowd oohs )
101
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:49,225
( Bones crunch )
102
00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:53,062
Guess we ain't getting
our swordfish.
103
00:05:53,229 --> 00:05:55,147
( Chuckles )
104
00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:57,525
( Groans )
Ow.
105
00:06:12,665 --> 00:06:14,792
( Buzzing )
106
00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:20,965
Dude, last night was sick.
107
00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:24,301
I was rolling with my boys
down at Club Merengue
108
00:06:24,468 --> 00:06:26,595
and they called last call.
109
00:06:26,762 --> 00:06:28,973
So I reminded them
it's now daylight savings
110
00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:31,267
and we got an extra hour.
111
00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:35,187
And in that hour
I had five Smirnoff Ices...
112
00:06:36,188 --> 00:06:39,650
and I walked out of there
with a Bangladeshi hooker.
113
00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:43,571
I banged her deshi
all night long.
114
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,406
( laughs )
115
00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:47,658
Where'd you go pimping
last night, playboy?
116
00:06:47,825 --> 00:06:50,619
I too had a wild night last night.
117
00:06:50,786 --> 00:06:53,330
I made sweet hot love
to an orangutan.
118
00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:55,416
Really?
A bachelor party?
119
00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:57,376
- Oh yeah.
- What'd it smell like?
120
00:06:57,543 --> 00:06:59,920
- Bananas mostly.
- Really?
121
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:02,464
Guy, I'm pulling your leg.
122
00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:05,759
I did not fuck
an orangutan last night.
123
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,678
I have student teacher
evaluations coming up.
124
00:07:07,845 --> 00:07:09,597
Keep going, playboy.
I'm listening.
125
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,849
- There's one kid who--
- Hey.
126
00:07:12,016 --> 00:07:14,018
( Sighs)
127
00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:17,438
So, did you hear
who's coming back tonight?
128
00:07:17,605 --> 00:07:21,191
Yeah, Connor.
God, I can't believe it.
129
00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:23,736
Can you imagine
being the star of a TV show
130
00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:25,279
and then having to come back
and wait tables?
131
00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:28,115
I know.
It's humiliating.
132
00:07:29,241 --> 00:07:31,910
Hey, do you think you guys
will get it on again?
133
00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:35,164
( laughs ) Yeah right.
He should be so lucky.
134
00:07:35,331 --> 00:07:37,041
You don't get two bites of the apple,
135
00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:40,044
especially when it's Golden Delicious.
136
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:42,296
Oh, yeah.
137
00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:44,632
- Dave: Chow down.
- Yes!
138
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,967
- Mm-hmm.
- I'm starving.
139
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:49,386
What you pigs are eating
is the blackened cod.
140
00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:53,307
It comes with rosemary mashed potatoes
and tempura mushrooms.
141
00:07:53,474 --> 00:07:54,975
It's blackened because-- hey!
142
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:58,812
It's blackened because I bought 60 pieces
last Tuesday and it's gone bad.
143
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:02,691
I'll give a free dessert to whoever
sells the most of this shit.
144
00:08:02,858 --> 00:08:04,443
- You bitch.
- Rich: Guys.
145
00:08:04,610 --> 00:08:07,196
I hate to be a ball buster,
but somebody was toking marijuana
146
00:08:07,363 --> 00:08:10,157
in the coat checkroom last night
and that is a big no no never.
147
00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:12,451
Rich, you put me on
for a double tomorrow.
148
00:08:12,618 --> 00:08:13,994
You said you needed
money for ballet school.
149
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,913
I do, but I also told you
150
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,123
that I'd get shin splints
if I work a double.
151
00:08:18,290 --> 00:08:20,376
- Oh, you're right. I'm sorry.
- That's right.
152
00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:22,503
Shin splints, okay, you're right.
I will change that right away.
153
00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:23,921
Who the hell is that?
154
00:08:24,088 --> 00:08:26,256
Oh, that's our new busboy.
155
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:28,258
Donnie, could you
come over here, please?
156
00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:31,595
- Donnie is Dave's twin brother.
- ( snapping )
157
00:08:31,762 --> 00:08:34,223
Straighten your fucking bow tie.
158
00:08:34,390 --> 00:08:37,101
No, you went too far.
Back.
159
00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:40,270
I'll warn you guys now,
he's a complete retard.
160
00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:42,690
- I told you not to call me that.
- You what?
161
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,109
- I said you're the retard.
- You're the retard!
162
00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:46,902
- You're the retard.
- You're the retard.
163
00:08:47,069 --> 00:08:48,696
- You're the re--
- Shut up!
164
00:08:50,614 --> 00:08:52,991
- Weird.
- Donnie Kanogi, hi.
165
00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:55,786
- You a douche bag like your brother?
- No, I--
166
00:08:57,663 --> 00:08:59,456
- Donnie Kanogi.
- Tara.
167
00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:02,710
Don't worry about it.
My sister's a dick too. I get it.
168
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:05,087
Ladies and gentlemen,
straight from TV land,
169
00:09:05,254 --> 00:09:07,047
our old friend Connor Rhodes!
170
00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:08,799
- ( Cheering )
- What's up? What's up?
171
00:09:08,966 --> 00:09:10,634
I missed each and every one of you.
172
00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:12,886
Rich: Look at him.
Look at this guy.
173
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,930
- Hey.
- There you go.
174
00:09:15,097 --> 00:09:17,725
We watched you every single Sunday
for two weeks.
175
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,560
Hot stuff.
176
00:09:19,727 --> 00:09:21,311
- Dude! Ha ha!
- Whoa!
177
00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:23,981
Oh, you did get a nose job.
178
00:09:24,148 --> 00:09:26,942
No no, my hair is longer
and it makes my face look tiny.
179
00:09:27,109 --> 00:09:29,319
We noticed it looked smaller
on TV
180
00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:31,321
but we thought it was makeup.
181
00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:35,993
It's strange, I know, but the camera
actually takes 2 lbs off your nose.
182
00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:37,828
I think you took 2 lbs
off your nose.
183
00:09:37,995 --> 00:09:41,331
Nice one, Dick P.
But seriously, I did not get a nose job.
184
00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:43,250
Hey, true to form,
you're an hour late.
185
00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:46,837
- Nuh-uh. Daylight savings.
- Then you should be an hour early.
186
00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:48,464
- Oh.
- Pretty good, huh?
187
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:51,592
All right, everybody, hit the floor.
Let's have a big night tonight.
188
00:09:51,759 --> 00:09:53,260
- Whoo!
- Let's see some pep in that step.
189
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:55,679
- Let's do it.
- Oh, I'm Donnie.
190
00:09:55,846 --> 00:09:57,473
- Welcome back.
- Thank you. Nice to see you.
191
00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,141
- Good to see you.
- You look good.
192
00:09:59,308 --> 00:10:01,310
- You do too.
- How are you doing?
193
00:10:01,477 --> 00:10:03,854
Mmm.
194
00:10:04,021 --> 00:10:06,315
Wow, frosty.
195
00:10:06,482 --> 00:10:08,066
So are you gonna be
all right with this?
196
00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:10,360
Yeah yeah. Well, you know,
I spent a shitload of cash I didn't have.
197
00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:11,779
So... got to eat.
198
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,614
Go to work.
199
00:10:13,781 --> 00:10:15,991
- Okay. Working, huh?
- Yeah.
200
00:10:19,203 --> 00:10:21,580
( Crowd cheering )
201
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,380
( laughing )
202
00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:33,300
So what, you like quit
to be on a TV show?
203
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:36,595
Yeah yeah, I got a lead role
on "CFI Hotlanta."
204
00:10:36,762 --> 00:10:39,056
- No way.
- Yeah.
205
00:10:39,223 --> 00:10:41,892
Connor walked out of here
in a blaze of glory.
206
00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:44,269
Uh-huh.
207
00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:46,063
Uh-huh.
208
00:10:46,230 --> 00:10:47,940
Uh-huh.
209
00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:49,733
Uh-huh.
210
00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:52,319
Yeah! Yeah!
211
00:10:52,486 --> 00:10:54,404
I'm famous!
Whoo!
212
00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:58,158
I'm famous!
Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya!
213
00:10:58,325 --> 00:10:59,910
Whoo-hoo!
214
00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:02,204
Mm-mmm.
215
00:11:02,371 --> 00:11:04,957
Cole slaw never tasted so good.
216
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:06,500
Whoo-hoo!
217
00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:09,002
Fucking big nose.
218
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:11,672
Suck it. Eat a dick.
Eat a dick.
219
00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:13,882
Suck it. Lick it.
Stick it.
220
00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:15,592
Double dick it.
221
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:19,137
And fuck you!
222
00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:21,306
( laughing )
223
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:25,936
- Cole slaw!
- Yeah.
224
00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:27,980
They killed me off
after two episodes.
225
00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:30,816
- Aw, how come?
- Because every time he came on TV
226
00:11:30,983 --> 00:11:32,985
America threw up in their mouths
just a little bit.
227
00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,152
Oh, yes.
228
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:38,198
Actually, it's because the actress
who plays the police commissioner
229
00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:41,243
and I took a little trip
to Ejacuidor together.
230
00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:44,371
Whoa, wait.
Isn't that Morgan Fairchild?
231
00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:46,582
It is Morgan Fairchild.
232
00:11:46,748 --> 00:11:47,791
- What?
- All right.
233
00:11:47,958 --> 00:11:48,959
- Dude!
- She's hot!
234
00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:51,670
But the creator of the show,
this guy named Dick Lobo,
235
00:11:51,837 --> 00:11:54,590
got jealous and suddenly
Detective Shep Winford
236
00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:58,343
would up dead in a petting zoo
with the killer's sperm in his shoes.
237
00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:01,054
Wait, his sperm was in your shoe?
238
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,348
Whatever, dude.
Tell us about Morgan Fairchild.
239
00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:05,642
Was she wet? Was she dry?
Did she laugh? Did she cry?
240
00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:07,853
All right, day one of shooting,
241
00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:11,648
Morgan Fairchild is giving me
the stink eye something fierce.
242
00:12:11,815 --> 00:12:16,236
At the end of the day she says,
"I want to see you in my trailer.”
243
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:19,156
So I knock on the door,
open it up and go in
244
00:12:19,323 --> 00:12:23,243
and Morgan Fairchild is wearing
the tiniest piece of lingerie.
245
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:26,580
I mean, it's not even lingerie.
It's like Silly String.
246
00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:29,082
- What color?
- See-through.
247
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,376
- See-through?
- Like a spider web.
248
00:12:31,543 --> 00:12:32,836
That's so hot.
249
00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:35,005
She says, "I've got a little
welcome present for you."
250
00:12:35,172 --> 00:12:38,175
Takes out a gift wrapped box,
opens it,
251
00:12:38,342 --> 00:12:42,095
reaches in and pulls out,
and I shit you not,
252
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:45,682
the biggest, blackest--
253
00:12:45,849 --> 00:12:48,018
- Woman: Welcome to Slammin' Salmon.
- Man: Thank you.
254
00:12:48,185 --> 00:12:49,686
- Just one?
- Just one.
255
00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:51,939
- No no no.
- Not my section. Not my section.
256
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,899
- He's definitely coming back.
- No he's not.
257
00:12:54,066 --> 00:12:56,068
- No no no no.
- No no no no.
258
00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:58,612
- Ah!
- Damn it!
259
00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:01,156
You do not seat one person
at a four top.
260
00:13:01,323 --> 00:13:02,574
Sorry, Guy.
261
00:13:02,741 --> 00:13:05,452
Can you please wait until I get back
to finish that story?
262
00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:08,038
- I can't wait.
- No dice, Jim Rice.
263
00:13:08,205 --> 00:13:10,582
- Come on.
- They've spoken, Guy.
264
00:13:10,749 --> 00:13:12,209
God!
265
00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:14,586
Shit.
266
00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:17,673
All right, she reaches in
and pulls out, and I shit you not...
267
00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:20,467
Hey, sport.
How are you?
268
00:13:20,634 --> 00:13:23,303
Welcome to the Slammin' Salmon.
I'm Guy.
269
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:25,722
Well, hello, Guy.
I'm Horace, and thank you.
270
00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:28,934
- Oh no!
- ( braying )
271
00:13:30,102 --> 00:13:33,230
Sounds like someone
told a great story.
272
00:13:33,397 --> 00:13:35,524
Yes it does.
273
00:13:35,691 --> 00:13:38,068
( laughing )
274
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:45,492
Connor, I just sat you.
Welcome back.
275
00:13:46,785 --> 00:13:48,370
It's good we didn't get a booth.
276
00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:51,164
Don't forget
your Slammin' Salmon smile.
277
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:52,708
Donnie:
Is that a real thing?
278
00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:54,668
- Do I need to know that?
- Mia: Yeah.
279
00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:57,754
Honey, I'm not hungry.
Can we just split a couple things?
280
00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:01,258
Hi, welcome to the Slammin' Salmon.
281
00:14:01,425 --> 00:14:04,428
- Okay.
- Oh my God, I know you.
282
00:14:04,594 --> 00:14:07,305
- Really?
- Oh yeah, I definitely know you.
283
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:10,017
- Where do I know you from?
- Maybe he's in your spinning class.
284
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,936
- He looks like a spinner.
- Honey, he's not a spinner.
285
00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:15,355
Oh, God, it's driving me crazy.
286
00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:17,274
I know I've seen
you somewhere before.
287
00:14:17,441 --> 00:14:19,818
Is it from TV do you think?
288
00:14:19,985 --> 00:14:21,361
Oh!
289
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:23,739
Yes, I've got it.
290
00:14:23,905 --> 00:14:26,116
Yeah, you waited on me
last time I was here.
291
00:14:26,283 --> 00:14:28,952
- ( Chuckles )
- Duh.
292
00:14:29,119 --> 00:14:32,873
Well, I left for a while to be one
of the leads on "CFI Hotlanta.”
293
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,292
( laughs )
294
00:14:35,459 --> 00:14:38,336
No way. I'm the black woman
from "Law & Order," so...
295
00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:41,298
- You're so funny.
- Thanks.
296
00:14:41,465 --> 00:14:44,968
- I'll have a Merlot.
- Dry Sack, rocks.
297
00:14:45,135 --> 00:14:47,637
( Bell rings )
298
00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:51,933
Ladies and gentlemen,
299
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:54,352
from Hell's Kitchen, New York,
300
00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:57,230
the Doctor of Destruction,
301
00:14:57,397 --> 00:15:00,233
the Captain of Crunch,
302
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,653
the Heavyweight Champion
of the World,
303
00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:06,865
Slammin' Cleon Salmon.
304
00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:14,706
Thank you. I hope you find the seafood
to be succulent.
305
00:15:14,873 --> 00:15:17,292
And if you need anything,
anything at all,
306
00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:19,753
remember-- ding--
ring the bell.
307
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:23,298
And come back soon,
or else I'll ring your bell.
308
00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:26,593
- ( laughs )
- ( applause )
309
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,678
Oh, look at that.
You've been working out.
310
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,806
Let's see. Come here.
Yeah. Okay.
311
00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:32,849
Nuts, I need a drink.
312
00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:36,186
$200 for a babysitter?
I mean, come on, that's a lot of money.
313
00:15:36,353 --> 00:15:38,105
No, you're totally worth it.
314
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,065
I know how much
you love Norah Jones.
315
00:15:40,232 --> 00:15:42,692
I love her too. I bought the tickets.
Front row seats.
316
00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:45,403
My favorite song?
Um...
317
00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:47,697
"Don't Know Why"?
318
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:49,950
-(rings)
- Recording: Round one.
319
00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:52,536
Oh my God. Oh my God.
I've got to go. I love you.
320
00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:55,205
Well, if it isn't the King of Siam.
321
00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:58,291
- Make yourself at home.
- Okay. Hey, Champ.
322
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,460
Didn't mean to sit in your chair.
Sorry about that.
323
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:01,962
I'm just being humorous.
324
00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:05,215
But I do want to talk
about something serious.
325
00:16:05,382 --> 00:16:09,761
Are you familiar with
Japanese albino hunting?
326
00:16:09,928 --> 00:16:12,556
Can't say that I am, no.
327
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:15,058
Oh my God, it is all the rage
in Japan right now.
328
00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:17,394
What they do is they set a bunch
of Japanese albinos
329
00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:19,271
loose in the forest
and you hunt them.
330
00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:20,981
And you shoot them?
331
00:16:21,148 --> 00:16:23,942
No no, it's just for sport.
Strictly catch and release.
332
00:16:24,109 --> 00:16:25,777
- ( Knocking )
- Who is it?!
333
00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:28,029
- ( Bell rings )
- Round one.
334
00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:30,699
Your drink, Champ.
335
00:16:30,866 --> 00:16:32,993
Oh, crazy straw.
336
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,953
Mmm.
Wow, that's good.
337
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,747
So my first time
hunting these albinos
338
00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:39,916
an albino ran right past me.
339
00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:42,878
I got so nervous
I smacked him in the head
340
00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:44,921
and almost decapitated him.
341
00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:47,424
It's decapitated, Champ.
342
00:16:47,591 --> 00:16:49,092
Whatever, motherfucker!
343
00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:52,095
Hmm.
Hmm.
344
00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:53,972
- ( Bell rings )
- Round one.
345
00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:55,265
Now where was 1?
346
00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:58,268
You were talking about Japanese
albino hunting.
347
00:16:58,435 --> 00:17:00,770
Oh yeah. So I bet the head
of the Yakuza
348
00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:03,356
20 grand that I could catch
more albinos than him.
349
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,859
I mean, look at me, come on.
I'm an athlete.
350
00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:07,944
Well, you know what?
I got my ass kicked.
351
00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:10,614
And now I've got to pay him
20 grand by tomorrow.
352
00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:13,158
Sounds like someone
has to go to the ATM machine.
353
00:17:13,325 --> 00:17:15,118
Yeah, you would think that.
354
00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:17,996
But I'm a little cash-poor right now.
355
00:17:18,163 --> 00:17:21,541
I bought some land on the moon
next to John Travolta.
356
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,960
Smart. Real estate
is a very safe investment.
357
00:17:24,127 --> 00:17:25,420
So here's what
you've got to do for me.
358
00:17:25,587 --> 00:17:27,422
I need you to make 20 grand tonight
359
00:17:27,589 --> 00:17:29,966
or else these guys are gonna come
and take the restaurant.
360
00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:32,719
( laughs )
Champ, the most the restaurant
361
00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:34,638
has ever made in one night
is 15 grand.
362
00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:37,224
Oh, boo hoo hoo.
I don't care.
363
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,684
I wish you would have told me.
I would have had more waiters on tonight.
364
00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:41,853
I wish Nino Gutierrez
would have told me
365
00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:45,065
he was gonna sock me with a hard right
in the Fracas in Caracas.
366
00:17:45,232 --> 00:17:47,734
And now look at him.
367
00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:52,822
He's dead.
368
00:17:52,989 --> 00:17:55,158
I can see that.
369
00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:57,535
So figure it out.
370
00:17:57,702 --> 00:18:01,623
If you don't get me 20 grand by tonight
I'm gonna lose the restaurant.
371
00:18:01,790 --> 00:18:04,459
If I lose the restaurant
I'm gonna be mad.
372
00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:07,170
And if I'm mad I'm gonna beat
the shit out of you
373
00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:08,755
and break all your arms.
374
00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:10,924
( Chuckles )
Champ, I'm gonna need those arms.
375
00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:12,676
I got three kids.
376
00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:15,428
All the more reason to keep it open.
Okey-do key?
377
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:16,638
Okey-do key.
378
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:18,139
I'm gonna skedaddle.
379
00:18:18,306 --> 00:18:20,642
I'll be back to check on you later.
380
00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:24,187
Bam!
( laughs )
381
00:18:24,354 --> 00:18:25,689
- ( Bell rings )
- Round one.
382
00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:28,108
Oh boy.
383
00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:28,316
Everybody listen up, please.
384
00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:30,151
Everybody listen up, please.
385
00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:32,362
Hello, everyone listen to me, please.
386
00:18:32,529 --> 00:18:34,364
Champ wants a big night tonight.
387
00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:37,534
So he is offering a prize
to the top selling waiter.
388
00:18:37,701 --> 00:18:40,370
- Ooh, is it cash?
- It's not cash, but it's something better.
389
00:18:40,537 --> 00:18:42,747
- What, a blowjob from your mother?
- Oh!
390
00:18:42,914 --> 00:18:45,792
No no, it's not a blowjob
from my mother, okay?
391
00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:48,295
The prize for the top selling waiter,
392
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:52,465
two front row seats to the Norah Jones
concert this week.
393
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,134
Oh my God, oh my God!
I love Norah Jones.
394
00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:56,136
Oh my God.
395
00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:58,346
- Right? Right?
- Sweet, I'm in.
396
00:18:58,513 --> 00:19:00,098
Are you serious?
You like Norah Jones?
397
00:19:00,265 --> 00:19:01,766
No, she's a slag.
398
00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:03,727
But think of all the tang
that's gonna be at that show.
399
00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:06,604
I'll be up to my elbows in tang.
Like a fucking astronaut.
400
00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:09,316
With a space helmet on.
401
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,526
You're a weird fucking dude.
You know that?
402
00:19:11,693 --> 00:19:14,446
I am so gonna win this.
Do tips count?
403
00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:16,364
Tips count.
Champ loves great service, right?
404
00:19:16,531 --> 00:19:20,076
Okay, give me your tips as you get them
and I'll post it up on the board, okay?
405
00:19:20,243 --> 00:19:21,661
- All right.
- Now everyone,
406
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:24,289
get out there and move some fish.
407
00:19:24,456 --> 00:19:26,791
I've never lost at anything in my life.
408
00:19:30,754 --> 00:19:32,297
( Giggles )
409
00:19:32,464 --> 00:19:35,592
Look at this good-looking
group of men.
410
00:19:35,759 --> 00:19:38,553
So are you boys hungry?
411
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,263
Starving.
412
00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:44,100
Mmm, well you know what they say
about a man with a big appetite.
413
00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:46,269
It's all true.
414
00:19:46,436 --> 00:19:48,605
Good. 'Cause you know what?
415
00:19:48,772 --> 00:19:50,940
You're gonna have
the 4-lb lobster tonight.
416
00:19:51,107 --> 00:19:53,693
- Okay.
- Okay? And so are you. And you.
417
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:56,404
I just have to tell you,
I am a huge fan.
418
00:19:56,571 --> 00:19:58,656
"Dogs of the Sahara”
is a perfect movie.
419
00:19:58,823 --> 00:20:02,327
And your acting in it is sick.
Like hospital sick.
420
00:20:02,494 --> 00:20:05,205
Wow. Thanks, man.
I appreciate it.
421
00:20:05,372 --> 00:20:08,958
Seriously, I think you discovered,
like, a new emotion in that movie.
422
00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:12,087
Really? I didn't know.
Thanks again.
423
00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:13,797
Well, what kind of emotion?
424
00:20:13,963 --> 00:20:16,591
Well, you know, it's like
he's like brave
425
00:20:16,758 --> 00:20:18,093
but naive.
426
00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:20,095
You know?
Like brave.
427
00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:22,305
- ( laughs )
- Okay.
428
00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:24,099
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
429
00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:26,518
- Sorry, I never do this.
- What's your name, pal?
430
00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:28,812
- I'm Connor.
- Connor, I'm Marlon.
431
00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:31,272
And this is my girlfriend Samara Dubois.
432
00:20:31,439 --> 00:20:33,566
Oh, I read "US Weekly."
I know who this is.
433
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,236
The interior designer
who stole your heart.
434
00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:37,695
That's right.
435
00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:40,031
I hired her to decorate my chill chalet.
436
00:20:40,198 --> 00:20:43,410
She said, "First things first.
You should just call it a 'chi-let.”
437
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:46,162
- ( laughs )
- I fell in love with her right then and there.
438
00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:47,914
I just put the two words together.
439
00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:49,999
Chilet. I love that.
440
00:20:50,166 --> 00:20:51,918
( Glass shatters )
441
00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:54,212
New guy.
Sorry.
442
00:20:54,379 --> 00:20:57,424
- So what's this?
- Little tradition here at the Salmon.
443
00:20:57,590 --> 00:21:00,885
Anytime a busboy breaks something
he does a shot of Blue Curacao.
444
00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:03,138
Is it cool to drink on the job?
445
00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:06,015
Do you need to ask your big brother
for permission?
446
00:21:06,182 --> 00:21:08,768
Do you want to try shaving with this?
Okay, yeah, let's see.
447
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:11,271
I'm older by eight hours.
448
00:21:11,438 --> 00:21:13,148
Hi-yaa!
449
00:21:13,314 --> 00:21:15,275
And don't worry.
No one will ever know.
450
00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:16,985
Cool.
451
00:21:17,152 --> 00:21:19,487
- Hey, Conman.
- Mr. Spencer.
452
00:21:19,654 --> 00:21:22,365
I was wondering
if you could help me out.
453
00:21:22,532 --> 00:21:24,909
(gasps)
Oh my God, this is really sudden.
454
00:21:25,076 --> 00:21:26,828
( laughs )
455
00:21:26,995 --> 00:21:29,080
I'm proposing to Samara tonight.
456
00:21:29,247 --> 00:21:32,709
Wow, somebody finally put
a saddle on you, huh, bronco?
457
00:21:32,876 --> 00:21:35,086
Um, yeah.
When we order dessert,
458
00:21:35,253 --> 00:21:37,255
could you put the ring in it
so she can find it?
459
00:21:37,422 --> 00:21:40,842
Yeah yeah yeah.
Let's get her drunk so she says yes.
460
00:21:41,009 --> 00:21:42,927
( laughs )
461
00:21:43,094 --> 00:21:46,264
That's a custom-made ring, yeah?
462
00:21:46,431 --> 00:21:48,433
It's safe with me.
You have my word.
463
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:49,976
Cool.
464
00:21:51,769 --> 00:21:53,021
- Wow.
- Wow.
465
00:21:53,188 --> 00:21:55,106
- Send back
- Oh, out of the way. It's a dessert.
466
00:21:55,273 --> 00:21:57,275
- Somebody sent back a dessert.
- Oh my God.
467
00:21:57,442 --> 00:21:59,110
Mmm.
468
00:21:59,277 --> 00:22:01,279
When somebody sends back a dessert
you've got to move fast.
469
00:22:01,446 --> 00:22:03,406
They're like wild jackals
at their mother's teat.
470
00:22:03,573 --> 00:22:05,783
I've got to get lemons.
Tara, will you watch my section?
471
00:22:05,950 --> 00:22:08,786
- Mmm, yup.
- This is good!
472
00:22:15,460 --> 00:22:17,587
- What's up, Mamma Mia?
- Uh-oh.
473
00:22:17,754 --> 00:22:20,965
The old follow me down
to the walk-in fridge game, huh?
474
00:22:21,132 --> 00:22:22,884
- Uh-huh.
- Oh.
475
00:22:23,051 --> 00:22:26,888
Frankly, I didn't expect to see
you here at the Salmon again.
476
00:22:27,055 --> 00:22:30,141
Yeah, well, I figure I'm here
three or four months tops.
477
00:22:30,308 --> 00:22:32,143
And then I'm moving to California
to do some modeling.
478
00:22:32,310 --> 00:22:35,271
Well, don't you
have to be like tall,
479
00:22:35,438 --> 00:22:38,483
muscular and really hot to model?
480
00:22:38,650 --> 00:22:42,028
No no, not anymore. You'd be amazed
what they can do with CGI these days.
481
00:22:42,195 --> 00:22:43,821
Right.
482
00:22:43,988 --> 00:22:45,990
I like the new nose, by the way.
483
00:22:46,157 --> 00:22:48,660
It's so funny that you all think that.
484
00:22:48,826 --> 00:22:50,995
'Cause it's the same nose it always was.
485
00:22:51,162 --> 00:22:52,497
- Really?
- Uh-huh.
486
00:22:52,664 --> 00:22:55,792
- Want to take a closer look?
- I just might.
487
00:23:00,964 --> 00:23:03,049
( Moans )
488
00:23:08,638 --> 00:23:11,349
- You fucking love it.
- Yeah.
489
00:23:14,811 --> 00:23:16,354
Oh my God!
Oh yes!
490
00:23:16,521 --> 00:23:18,439
- So fucking hot.
- Yeah.
491
00:23:18,606 --> 00:23:21,317
( Panting )
492
00:23:21,484 --> 00:23:25,196
Wow. You know what?
I'm not your tickle friend anymore.
493
00:23:25,363 --> 00:23:27,407
Well, you are saying no
494
00:23:27,574 --> 00:23:29,617
but a couple of your friends
are saying yes.
495
00:23:29,784 --> 00:23:31,995
It's cold in here, asshole.
496
00:23:41,337 --> 00:23:42,922
Why do they call you Nuts?
497
00:23:43,089 --> 00:23:45,091
Because I'm crazy.
498
00:23:45,258 --> 00:23:46,509
You don't look crazy.
499
00:23:46,676 --> 00:23:48,678
Oh, I'm insane.
500
00:23:48,845 --> 00:23:51,222
You should see me
without my meds.
501
00:23:51,389 --> 00:23:53,683
At my last job,
I didn't take my meds one day,
502
00:23:53,850 --> 00:23:56,853
hour later I was walking around naked
with peanut butter in my hair
503
00:23:57,020 --> 00:23:59,272
telling people my name was Zongo.
504
00:23:59,439 --> 00:24:03,026
I delivered an old lady a cup
of hot water with my balls in it.
505
00:24:03,192 --> 00:24:05,153
( laughs )
Yeah, talk about your Red Zinger.
506
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:08,489
Yeah, but I don't
remember any of it.
507
00:24:08,656 --> 00:24:11,492
My balls were red though.
508
00:24:11,659 --> 00:24:12,994
( laughs nervously )
509
00:24:13,161 --> 00:24:15,496
- Are you serious?
- Totally.
510
00:24:15,663 --> 00:24:17,582
No, I'm joking.
511
00:24:17,749 --> 00:24:19,542
But it is true.
512
00:24:21,210 --> 00:24:23,004
( Grunts)
513
00:24:26,299 --> 00:24:28,509
- Sir.
- Huh?
514
00:24:28,676 --> 00:24:30,595
Are you ready to order your entree?
515
00:24:30,762 --> 00:24:33,056
Oh, I haven't even looked
at the menu.
516
00:24:33,222 --> 00:24:35,558
- ( People cheering )
- Oh, that's my party people.
517
00:24:35,725 --> 00:24:37,060
Yeah!
518
00:24:38,436 --> 00:24:40,980
Hey, all right.
519
00:24:41,147 --> 00:24:44,025
You've been here for an hour, sir.
Surely you must be hungry.
520
00:24:44,192 --> 00:24:46,778
Oh, I am.
I'll take a look.
521
00:24:46,944 --> 00:24:50,239
In the meantime, I'll have a drink.
522
00:24:50,406 --> 00:24:53,493
Tell me, Guy,
what goes well with Tolstoy?
523
00:24:53,660 --> 00:24:56,412
Dom Perignon, Cristal,
perhaps a Chateau Margaux,
524
00:24:56,579 --> 00:24:58,706
or even a 1945 Rothschild.
525
00:24:58,873 --> 00:25:00,750
( Chuckles )
Well, I'll take all four.
526
00:25:00,917 --> 00:25:03,002
- Really?
- No.
527
00:25:03,169 --> 00:25:05,463
I'll just have a cup of hot water
528
00:25:05,630 --> 00:25:08,424
with a wedge of lemon.
529
00:25:09,467 --> 00:25:11,469
Living on the edge.
530
00:25:13,179 --> 00:25:16,015
- Tara: Oh no, here.
- Hold on, hold on.
531
00:25:16,182 --> 00:25:17,809
Oh!
532
00:25:18,810 --> 00:25:20,728
Rich:
Oh, come on.
533
00:25:20,895 --> 00:25:23,690
- ( Bell rings )
- ( growling )
534
00:25:23,856 --> 00:25:25,149
Oh, Jesus.
535
00:25:25,316 --> 00:25:27,360
- Connor: Nuts, you fucker.
- ( glass shatters )
536
00:25:27,527 --> 00:25:28,736
Uh-oh! Dick P, a little help ?
537
00:25:28,903 --> 00:25:31,489
- What are you guys doing?
- Dicking around, bro.
538
00:25:31,656 --> 00:25:33,950
- Yahtzee!
- What are you doing with the booze?
539
00:25:34,117 --> 00:25:37,412
Donnie, leave us.
Grab me an olive from the bar, please.
540
00:25:37,578 --> 00:25:40,707
( Humming )
541
00:25:40,873 --> 00:25:44,210
Dave Kanogi's brother.
I'm hazing the shit out of him, dude.
542
00:25:44,377 --> 00:25:46,337
Maybe you should be selling
the shit out of the food, dude.
543
00:25:46,504 --> 00:25:47,672
- Tara.
-Yes?
544
00:25:47,839 --> 00:25:49,465
You love Norah Jones.
I mean, "Come Away With Me."
545
00:25:49,632 --> 00:25:51,259
You love that song.
I've heard you humming it.
546
00:25:51,426 --> 00:25:53,094
Yes, I also hum the Macarena.
547
00:25:53,261 --> 00:25:55,138
It doesn't mean I want to go
to the Macarena concert.
548
00:25:55,304 --> 00:25:57,807
- Oh, snap.
- Well, Norah Jones is different.
549
00:25:57,974 --> 00:26:00,184
I mean, she's cool and folksy and jazzy.
Come on.
550
00:26:00,351 --> 00:26:03,938
Rich, look, I'm in medical school, okay?
I don't have time to go to a concert.
551
00:26:04,105 --> 00:26:07,817
- What about you?
- I'm not sure who Norma Jones is.
552
00:26:07,984 --> 00:26:09,569
- Is she the puppeteer?
- No.
553
00:26:09,736 --> 00:26:13,030
Here's the thing. Norah Jones is for
chicks and weepy dorks like you.
554
00:26:13,197 --> 00:26:15,908
If I'm gonna make the Champ richer,
I want a real prize.
555
00:26:16,075 --> 00:26:17,660
Till then, you tell him
to go fuck a cow.
556
00:26:17,827 --> 00:26:20,079
- What's up?
- Oh, snap!
557
00:26:20,246 --> 00:26:21,914
( laughing )
558
00:26:23,666 --> 00:26:26,544
( Phone ringing )
559
00:26:28,379 --> 00:26:30,465
Hey, retards,
you want to answer the phone?
560
00:26:30,631 --> 00:26:33,009
Oh, I'll do it.
I'm only the manager.
561
00:26:34,343 --> 00:26:37,180
Good evening.
Persuasions Spa and Casino Resort.
562
00:26:37,346 --> 00:26:40,391
I'm Stanley Bellin.
How may I persuade you?
563
00:26:40,558 --> 00:26:43,519
Hey, Stanley. It's Rich Parente
calling on behalf of Cleon Salmon.
564
00:26:43,686 --> 00:26:46,814
Yeah, the Champ would like to book
his regular suite.
565
00:26:46,981 --> 00:26:49,984
Oh, I'm afraid the suite
566
00:26:50,151 --> 00:26:52,195
is not available for Mr. Salmon.
567
00:26:52,361 --> 00:26:54,697
( Chuckles )
What do you mean? Why not?
568
00:26:54,864 --> 00:26:57,700
'Cause last time
Mr. Salmon's pet kangaroo
569
00:26:57,867 --> 00:26:59,827
defecated in our kitchen.
570
00:26:59,994 --> 00:27:02,497
Oh, well, that kangaroo
is no longer with us.
571
00:27:02,663 --> 00:27:05,458
The Champ actually killed him
during a sparring session.
572
00:27:05,625 --> 00:27:07,293
I'm so sorry to hear that.
573
00:27:07,460 --> 00:27:10,713
Unfortunately I will have to
politely say no.
574
00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:12,507
( Deep voice )
Is that Stanley?
575
00:27:12,673 --> 00:27:15,343
- Let me talk to him.
- Don't tell him it's me. Just--
576
00:27:15,510 --> 00:27:16,844
Yes, Champ.
It's Stanley Bellin.
577
00:27:17,011 --> 00:27:18,179
Fuck.
578
00:27:18,346 --> 00:27:20,431
Tell him I said I want
the Emperor Suite
579
00:27:20,598 --> 00:27:22,767
or I'm gonna shove his ass
up his ass.
580
00:27:22,934 --> 00:27:26,938
Uh, of course Mr. Salmon
can stay in the Emperor Suite.
581
00:27:27,104 --> 00:27:28,773
I was merely joking.
582
00:27:28,940 --> 00:27:31,818
Tell him to make the reservation
under King Kamehameha.
583
00:27:31,984 --> 00:27:34,403
All right, Kamehameha.
584
00:27:34,570 --> 00:27:36,572
How many Ms?
585
00:27:36,739 --> 00:27:39,742
And it better be free or I'm gonna
knock Stanley into Bolivian.
586
00:27:39,909 --> 00:27:43,037
Yeah, he said that he was
hoping it would be free
587
00:27:43,204 --> 00:27:44,664
or he was gonna knock you
into Bolivian.
588
00:27:44,831 --> 00:27:46,415
But I think he means oblivion.
589
00:27:46,582 --> 00:27:48,417
( Deep voice )
Whatever, motherfucker!
590
00:27:48,584 --> 00:27:51,087
It'll be free.
It'll be free.
591
00:27:51,254 --> 00:27:53,422
Guys, listen up.
New deal, okay?
592
00:27:53,589 --> 00:27:55,341
Champ is very serious
about selling big tonight.
593
00:27:55,508 --> 00:27:57,468
So there's a new prize.
594
00:27:57,635 --> 00:27:59,554
A four-day, three-night stay
595
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:03,057
at the Persuasions Spa
and Casino Resort Hotel in Key Largo.
596
00:28:03,224 --> 00:28:05,059
- That sounds awesome.
- Really?
597
00:28:05,226 --> 00:28:06,435
Wait a minute, is that the gay key?
598
00:28:06,602 --> 00:28:08,187
It's the straight key, Guy.
599
00:28:08,354 --> 00:28:10,189
What if he wanted the gay key?
600
00:28:10,356 --> 00:28:11,524
Why would I want the gay key?
601
00:28:11,691 --> 00:28:14,735
- I thought you said you...
- Rich: All right, listen listen listen.
602
00:28:14,902 --> 00:28:16,320
It's a great prize.
Come on.
603
00:28:16,487 --> 00:28:18,614
Persuasions Spa
and Casino Resort Hotel.
604
00:28:18,781 --> 00:28:20,032
- That's awesome.
- Hell yeah, Dick P.
605
00:28:20,199 --> 00:28:22,076
Here are the current standings, okay?
606
00:28:22,243 --> 00:28:24,495
Nuts, Tara, let's pick it up
a notch, okay?
607
00:28:24,662 --> 00:28:25,872
Enthusiasm!
608
00:28:26,038 --> 00:28:28,541
My suggestion to you guys,
sell the cod.
609
00:28:28,708 --> 00:28:30,459
One of the most expensive
items on the menu.
610
00:28:30,626 --> 00:28:32,545
$38.95, okay?
611
00:28:32,712 --> 00:28:34,755
Let's get out there
and turn 'em and burn 'em.
612
00:28:34,922 --> 00:28:37,633
- All right?
- ( cheering )
613
00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:39,635
Rich:
Come on, sell some cod.
614
00:28:39,802 --> 00:28:42,305
Well, you have got to try the cod.
615
00:28:42,471 --> 00:28:44,599
Is it fishy?
I don't really like fishy fish.
616
00:28:44,765 --> 00:28:47,018
Oh, no no no.
The cod is the least fishy of the fishes.
617
00:28:47,184 --> 00:28:50,730
It's so unfishy it's not even
classified as a fish.
618
00:28:50,897 --> 00:28:52,648
- I'll take one.
- ( register rings )
619
00:28:54,025 --> 00:28:56,861
Do yourself a favor,
order the cod.
620
00:28:57,028 --> 00:29:00,740
Is it a fishy fish?
I like my fish fishy.
621
00:29:00,907 --> 00:29:02,491
Cod is definitely
the fishiest fish there is.
622
00:29:02,658 --> 00:29:05,077
And a fishy fish
is a healthy fish.
623
00:29:05,244 --> 00:29:06,621
- - Ha!
( register rings )
624
00:29:06,787 --> 00:29:08,539
Did you know that cod
is a flying fish?
625
00:29:08,706 --> 00:29:10,499
It's flying off the shelf tonight.
626
00:29:10,666 --> 00:29:12,835
Is it flakey?
I like flakey.
627
00:29:13,002 --> 00:29:14,962
Very flakey.
The Eskimo name for cod
628
00:29:15,129 --> 00:29:17,590
is actually ponacana
which means flake fish.
629
00:29:17,757 --> 00:29:20,259
- Huh.
- ( register rings )
630
00:29:20,426 --> 00:29:22,762
It's a rare Moroccan midget cod.
631
00:29:22,929 --> 00:29:25,973
It's almost impossible to catch
so the portions are tiny.
632
00:29:26,140 --> 00:29:27,642
You might want to get two per person.
633
00:29:27,808 --> 00:29:30,269
Moroccan midget cod?
I've heard of that.
634
00:29:30,436 --> 00:29:31,896
It's really good.
635
00:29:32,063 --> 00:29:34,482
I usually don't swear at my tables,
but you people look really cool.
636
00:29:34,649 --> 00:29:36,609
So it's fucking delicious.
637
00:29:36,776 --> 00:29:38,569
We'll get fucking two each.
638
00:29:38,736 --> 00:29:41,489
- Good order.
- ( register rings )
639
00:29:41,656 --> 00:29:43,199
Hey!
640
00:29:45,076 --> 00:29:48,871
- I've got to ask you something.
- Okay.
641
00:29:49,038 --> 00:29:50,498
Were you on "CFl Hotlanta"?
642
00:29:50,665 --> 00:29:53,334
Uh, yeah, I was.
643
00:29:53,501 --> 00:29:54,710
I knew it.
644
00:29:54,877 --> 00:29:56,879
I said you were on
"The Bachelorette,"” dude.
645
00:29:57,046 --> 00:29:59,006
Well, they're both good shows,
I suppose.
646
00:29:59,173 --> 00:30:00,508
I love both of those shows.
647
00:30:00,675 --> 00:30:02,635
Hey, Conman,
when you're ready,
648
00:30:02,802 --> 00:30:04,720
I think we're ready for desert.
649
00:30:04,887 --> 00:30:08,057
We'll have a brownie,
one scoop of vanilla ice cream
650
00:30:08,224 --> 00:30:09,558
and two spoons.
651
00:30:09,725 --> 00:30:11,978
Mmm, carbs.
652
00:30:12,144 --> 00:30:15,231
Yeah, I will get that right out to you.
653
00:30:15,398 --> 00:30:17,274
( laughing )
654
00:30:17,441 --> 00:30:19,485
You know,
oysters are an aphrodisiac.
655
00:30:19,652 --> 00:30:23,406
More oysters,
more aphrodisia.
656
00:30:23,572 --> 00:30:25,282
( laughs )
657
00:30:25,449 --> 00:30:28,285
That is if you guys think
you're gonna get lucky tonight.
658
00:30:28,452 --> 00:30:30,079
I probably will.
659
00:30:30,246 --> 00:30:32,415
What's up, boys?
Did you dirty ho-daddies
660
00:30:32,581 --> 00:30:34,875
wish this perfect angel
a happy birthday yet?
661
00:30:36,335 --> 00:30:38,504
Oh, it's your birthday?
662
00:30:38,671 --> 00:30:40,297
Yeah.
663
00:30:40,464 --> 00:30:42,091
Where's your birthday suit?
664
00:30:42,258 --> 00:30:43,801
( laughing )
665
00:30:43,968 --> 00:30:45,469
Stop.
666
00:30:45,636 --> 00:30:49,181
- You're so bad.
- I can be worse.
667
00:30:53,769 --> 00:30:55,521
Donnie, have you ever noticed
that redheaded people
668
00:30:55,688 --> 00:30:57,023
breathe through their mouths?
669
00:30:57,189 --> 00:30:58,858
Like orangutans?
670
00:30:59,025 --> 00:31:01,152
Yeah, exactly like orangutans.
671
00:31:01,318 --> 00:31:02,987
Coincidence?
672
00:31:03,154 --> 00:31:04,572
Happy birthday?
673
00:31:04,739 --> 00:31:06,449
Donnie, leave us.
674
00:31:06,615 --> 00:31:09,201
Bring me a cocktail onion
from the bar, please.
675
00:31:09,368 --> 00:31:12,329
What can I say?
I thought I'd help you get a big tip.
676
00:31:12,496 --> 00:31:13,998
Just like the old days.
677
00:31:14,165 --> 00:31:16,125
And while we're at it...
678
00:31:16,292 --> 00:31:18,210
may I ask for your hand?
679
00:31:18,377 --> 00:31:20,546
Ooh, I accept.
680
00:31:21,547 --> 00:31:24,050
You know,
if you and I work together,
681
00:31:24,216 --> 00:31:26,510
we will definitely win
this Key Largo prize.
682
00:31:26,677 --> 00:31:27,762
Mmm, no.
683
00:31:27,928 --> 00:31:29,847
Come on, Mia.
Why are you being so difficult?
684
00:31:30,014 --> 00:31:31,474
I want my tickle friend back.
685
00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:33,350
- You do?
- Ooh!
686
00:31:34,935 --> 00:31:36,312
Rich, did you just
take a bite of that?
687
00:31:36,479 --> 00:31:38,147
- ( Chokes )
- Rich?
688
00:31:38,314 --> 00:31:39,648
Something's stuck.
689
00:31:41,984 --> 00:31:43,986
Jesus Christ, there was
a diamond ring in that brownie.
690
00:31:44,153 --> 00:31:46,155
It was in the send back area.
It was up for grabs.
691
00:31:46,322 --> 00:31:49,075
- You said it was a send back.
- I said I want my tickle friend back.
692
00:31:49,241 --> 00:31:51,243
What the fuck is a tickle friend?
693
00:31:51,410 --> 00:31:53,329
( Gagging )
694
00:31:53,496 --> 00:31:55,664
Cough it up.
695
00:31:55,831 --> 00:31:57,208
- Whoo!
- Connor: Come on!
696
00:31:57,374 --> 00:31:59,293
I'm not choking.
I swallowed it.
697
00:31:59,460 --> 00:32:02,129
- Get it out.
- ( grunting )
698
00:32:16,769 --> 00:32:18,813
( laughs nervously )
699
00:32:18,979 --> 00:32:21,232
Nuts:
Clam chowder for the gentleman.
700
00:32:21,398 --> 00:32:23,943
One, two, three.
701
00:32:25,736 --> 00:32:28,572
The salmon and haricots verts
for the lady.
702
00:32:28,739 --> 00:32:31,992
One, two, three.
703
00:32:32,159 --> 00:32:34,036
Soup spoon.
704
00:32:34,203 --> 00:32:36,705
One, two, three.
705
00:32:36,872 --> 00:32:40,292
Is there anything else
I can get you this evening?
706
00:32:40,459 --> 00:32:42,586
I think we're fine for now.
707
00:32:42,753 --> 00:32:44,255
Thank you.
708
00:32:44,421 --> 00:32:46,882
( Quietly )
One, two, three.
709
00:32:48,884 --> 00:32:50,886
Uh, enjoy your wine.
710
00:32:52,179 --> 00:32:53,597
( Beeping )
711
00:32:53,764 --> 00:32:56,392
Oh!
712
00:32:57,393 --> 00:32:59,812
Dude, it's heading down to Funkytown.
713
00:32:59,979 --> 00:33:01,480
I can't feel it anymore.
714
00:33:01,647 --> 00:33:03,274
- What is that thing?
- It's a stud finder.
715
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:05,818
Stud finder?
Sounds like a gay dating service.
716
00:33:05,985 --> 00:33:07,361
Heyoo!
717
00:33:07,528 --> 00:33:09,071
Can we just get the ring, please?
718
00:33:09,238 --> 00:33:11,157
- Tara.
- What?
719
00:33:11,323 --> 00:33:13,909
We need medical help. Rich just swallowed
a really important diamond ring.
720
00:33:14,076 --> 00:33:16,453
Um, is it still in the esophagus?
721
00:33:16,620 --> 00:33:18,247
( Beeping )
722
00:33:18,414 --> 00:33:20,207
Okay, well, it's too deep
to expunge by vomiting.
723
00:33:20,374 --> 00:33:22,251
It could tear the esophageal
tissue on its way up.
724
00:33:22,418 --> 00:33:23,669
After all, it is a diamond.
725
00:33:23,836 --> 00:33:25,379
Hardest substance
known to man!
726
00:33:25,546 --> 00:33:29,341
Look, my advice--
you have to pass it anally.
727
00:33:29,508 --> 00:33:32,136
- Oh, shit.
- Hope it doesn't turn into coal.
728
00:33:32,303 --> 00:33:34,180
Dude, you better pray it doesn't
fork off into your dick.
729
00:33:34,346 --> 00:33:35,890
Ouch.
730
00:33:36,056 --> 00:33:37,516
Nuts, what was with that counting
thing at the table?
731
00:33:37,683 --> 00:33:39,602
Counting?
732
00:33:39,768 --> 00:33:41,061
Did you take your meds today?
733
00:33:41,228 --> 00:33:43,772
Meds? Yeah, 3:30.
Took "em before I came here.
734
00:33:43,939 --> 00:33:46,442
Next one is at 8:30.
735
00:33:46,609 --> 00:33:47,818
Right now.
736
00:33:47,985 --> 00:33:50,362
Wait, did you account
for daylight savings?
737
00:33:50,529 --> 00:33:53,032
Daylight savings.
No. No.
738
00:33:53,199 --> 00:33:55,117
Well, that means that your body
actually thinks it's 9:30.
739
00:33:55,284 --> 00:33:56,869
You were supposed to take
your meds an hour ago.
740
00:33:57,036 --> 00:33:59,747
Uh-oh. Not good.
( chuckles )
741
00:33:59,914 --> 00:34:02,458
Okay, look, why don't you take them
and I'll watch your section?
742
00:34:02,625 --> 00:34:04,043
Yeah.
743
00:34:04,210 --> 00:34:06,128
Probably all those cock rings
jangling around in there.
744
00:34:06,295 --> 00:34:07,588
Nuts, Nuts, Nuts,
where are you going?
745
00:34:07,755 --> 00:34:10,174
I've got to get something out
of the coat room. Just take a second.
746
00:34:10,341 --> 00:34:13,302
Can you watch these guy's tables?
I got a diamond ring in me, man.
747
00:34:14,595 --> 00:34:16,931
That's all right.
I'll get it later.
748
00:34:30,611 --> 00:34:32,655
- Was he just skipping?
- What?
749
00:34:32,821 --> 00:34:35,241
- Was he just skipping?
- Pig in a poke.
750
00:34:35,407 --> 00:34:36,784
Let's get back to work.
751
00:34:36,951 --> 00:34:39,578
I think I got a pretty good bead
on a lunch box.
752
00:34:50,464 --> 00:34:51,548
What's up, buddy?
753
00:34:51,715 --> 00:34:54,635
Okay, there's been a bit of a snag.
754
00:34:54,802 --> 00:34:55,970
Okay, what?
755
00:34:56,136 --> 00:34:57,930
Someone ate your engagement ring.
756
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:02,351
You're fucking with me.
That's good.
757
00:35:02,518 --> 00:35:04,603
No. I put the ring in the brownie
758
00:35:04,770 --> 00:35:06,897
and I turned my back
for just one second
759
00:35:07,064 --> 00:35:09,358
and a member of the staff
ate the brownie.
760
00:35:09,525 --> 00:35:12,194
You stupid cock.
That was a $450,000
761
00:35:12,361 --> 00:35:13,821
South African Bing diamond.
762
00:35:13,988 --> 00:35:16,865
I want to speak to the manager
and the asshole who ate it now.
763
00:35:17,032 --> 00:35:19,994
Did you know some dumb fuck
ate my ring?
764
00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:23,080
Yes, sir.
And I'm terribly sorry about that.
765
00:35:23,247 --> 00:35:24,456
So what are you gonna do about it?
766
00:35:24,623 --> 00:35:26,208
I'm trying to pass it.
767
00:35:26,375 --> 00:35:28,502
- Come again?
- I'm trying to pass it.
768
00:35:28,669 --> 00:35:31,630
Anally.
Coffee, cigarettes, laxatives.
769
00:35:31,797 --> 00:35:34,967
- It was you?
- Uh, yes it was.
770
00:35:35,134 --> 00:35:39,680
That was a $450,000 South African
Bing diamond you just ate.
771
00:35:39,847 --> 00:35:42,016
Uh, your meal
is on the house tonight.
772
00:35:42,182 --> 00:35:43,267
Screw the meal.
773
00:35:43,434 --> 00:35:47,229
If you don't fuck out that shitting diamond
and fast I'm gonna kick your ass.
774
00:35:47,396 --> 00:35:50,065
And Conster, there will be
a sequel to that.
775
00:35:52,943 --> 00:35:54,903
Como se dice
"Cleveland steamer"?
776
00:35:55,070 --> 00:35:56,488
Don't worry about it.
777
00:35:56,655 --> 00:35:58,365
Yo, Dave.
778
00:35:58,532 --> 00:36:00,784
No, don't even say it.
779
00:36:00,951 --> 00:36:02,202
The woman said it's cold.
780
00:36:02,369 --> 00:36:04,663
- It's steaming.
- I know.
781
00:36:04,830 --> 00:36:05,998
Fucking customers, huh?
782
00:36:06,165 --> 00:36:09,001
I mean, I told her to cook with her ass
and then go fuck herself but she insisted.
783
00:36:09,168 --> 00:36:11,337
I like you, Guy.
784
00:36:11,503 --> 00:36:13,589
Jamie, nuke the dick out of it.
785
00:36:13,756 --> 00:36:16,508
Si, senor.
786
00:36:23,766 --> 00:36:25,934
( Mumbling )
787
00:36:26,101 --> 00:36:28,687
Hey, what's that blue shit
on your lips?
788
00:36:28,854 --> 00:36:29,980
Nothing.
789
00:36:30,147 --> 00:36:32,358
- Blue Curacao.
- Are you drunk?
790
00:36:32,524 --> 00:36:34,943
( Growling )
791
00:36:35,110 --> 00:36:37,196
Asshole, I got you this fucking job.
792
00:36:37,363 --> 00:36:39,365
You screw this up,
I'm telling Mom.
793
00:36:39,531 --> 00:36:41,408
No!
794
00:36:41,575 --> 00:36:43,660
Jamie:
Come on, Senor Dave, get him!
795
00:36:46,330 --> 00:36:48,749
Get him, Dave.
Come on, man.
796
00:36:48,916 --> 00:36:50,209
( Screams )
797
00:36:50,376 --> 00:36:52,002
I'm gonna stick
your fucking face in the oven.
798
00:36:52,169 --> 00:36:53,962
I fucking hate you!
799
00:36:59,385 --> 00:37:00,886
Come on, senor!
800
00:37:01,053 --> 00:37:03,389
Twins are disgusting, man.
801
00:37:03,555 --> 00:37:06,809
Want me to put your head in the oven? 'Cause I'll do
it! I'll do it!
802
00:37:06,975 --> 00:37:08,769
I'm sorry.
803
00:37:08,936 --> 00:37:11,146
The kitchen just told me
we're out of the brownies.
804
00:37:11,313 --> 00:37:13,107
So would you like
the soufflé instead?
805
00:37:13,273 --> 00:37:15,192
It takes an hour to prepare.
806
00:37:15,359 --> 00:37:16,777
I don't think
that we actually need--
807
00:37:16,944 --> 00:37:18,654
- Oh, we'll take it.
- Honey.
808
00:37:18,821 --> 00:37:20,739
Now tell me all about your plans
for the living room.
809
00:37:20,906 --> 00:37:22,950
Okay,
810
00:37:23,117 --> 00:37:26,036
where is my boyfriend
and what did you do with him?
811
00:37:26,203 --> 00:37:28,288
( laughs )
812
00:37:28,455 --> 00:37:30,791
Okay, think pillows.
813
00:37:30,958 --> 00:37:33,168
- I'll leave you two alone.
- Starting with the bathtub...
814
00:37:33,335 --> 00:37:36,046
Oh, thank you.
815
00:37:36,213 --> 00:37:38,424
I'm a ballerina, you know?
816
00:37:38,590 --> 00:37:42,302
And I'm putting myself through
the Bilitnikoff Ballet School.
817
00:37:43,512 --> 00:37:46,014
Well, you certainly
got the body for it.
818
00:37:46,181 --> 00:37:49,476
And it stretches in every direction.
819
00:37:49,643 --> 00:37:51,645
( Chuckles )
820
00:37:51,812 --> 00:37:54,773
Uh, here's a little something extra
821
00:37:54,940 --> 00:37:57,443
for the Sugar Plum Fairy.
822
00:37:57,609 --> 00:38:01,113
Oh, thank you.
823
00:38:02,364 --> 00:38:04,575
What are you looking at, Liz?
824
00:38:04,741 --> 00:38:07,536
- You are so winning this contest.
- Oh, yeah.
825
00:38:07,703 --> 00:38:09,746
( Ballet music playing )
826
00:39:06,637 --> 00:39:09,515
( Slowly )
Oh...
827
00:39:09,681 --> 00:39:11,099
shit!
828
00:39:11,266 --> 00:39:13,894
( Mia screaming )
829
00:39:16,021 --> 00:39:17,940
Don't cry.
It's gonna look fine.
830
00:39:18,106 --> 00:39:20,567
Oh, gently gently gently.
Ah!
831
00:39:20,734 --> 00:39:22,694
This looks all right.
Was this a cream-based soup?
832
00:39:22,861 --> 00:39:24,571
Yeah. Yeah, I think so.
I think so.
833
00:39:24,738 --> 00:39:27,407
- Does that make a difference?
- Sometimes.
834
00:39:27,574 --> 00:39:30,369
Okay, well, it looks like
first-degree burns.
835
00:39:30,536 --> 00:39:32,412
It could lead to some
epidermal scarring.
836
00:39:32,579 --> 00:39:36,375
I want you to go home and get some rest
and drink plenty of water.
837
00:39:36,542 --> 00:39:39,461
I am not going home.
I'm in first place.
838
00:39:39,628 --> 00:39:41,797
Hey, that's the spirit, Mia.
Get out there.
839
00:39:41,964 --> 00:39:43,632
What? Rich, no.
Look, she needs to rest
840
00:39:43,799 --> 00:39:46,677
and put some ichthammol
or sulfadiazine on her face.
841
00:39:46,843 --> 00:39:50,222
Yeah, Rich, she needs
ichthioldizine.
842
00:39:50,389 --> 00:39:53,100
Thank you, Donnie.
At least someone here has a heart.
843
00:39:53,267 --> 00:39:55,477
- Thank you.
- Um, all right.
844
00:39:55,644 --> 00:39:57,104
You guys are right.
You're right.
845
00:39:57,271 --> 00:39:58,689
Mia, you should go home.
846
00:39:59,815 --> 00:40:02,359
Did Baryshnikov go home
847
00:40:02,526 --> 00:40:05,153
when he twisted his ankle
at the Bolshoi Festival?
848
00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:06,738
I, uh...
849
00:40:06,905 --> 00:40:10,659
Did Vladimir Putinski walk away
when he sprained his toe
850
00:40:10,826 --> 00:40:13,453
doing "The Marzipan King"
at the Ballet des Elysées?
851
00:40:13,620 --> 00:40:16,164
I'm guessing by your tone, no.
852
00:40:16,331 --> 00:40:20,335
Okay, did Joe Theesman quit baseball
when he broke his leg?
853
00:40:20,502 --> 00:40:22,796
Um, it's actually Joe Theismann,
854
00:40:22,963 --> 00:40:24,256
and he never played football again.
855
00:40:24,423 --> 00:40:27,843
Either way, I am tougher
than you are, motherfucker.
856
00:40:28,010 --> 00:40:30,721
- ( Bell ringing )
- Shh, what's that?
857
00:40:30,887 --> 00:40:33,807
Oh no. Oh, shit.
Okay, I'll be back.
858
00:40:33,974 --> 00:40:36,810
- Look, Mia, just sit down, okay?
- Yeah yeah. Don't touch.
859
00:40:36,977 --> 00:40:38,562
The Captain of Crunch,
860
00:40:38,729 --> 00:40:41,690
the Heavyweight Champion
of the World,
861
00:40:41,857 --> 00:40:44,276
Slammin' Cleon Salmon.
862
00:40:44,443 --> 00:40:46,570
( Cheering )
863
00:40:46,737 --> 00:40:48,530
You've got to be kidding me.
864
00:40:48,697 --> 00:40:51,491
I am here.
Undefeated, baby.
865
00:40:51,658 --> 00:40:53,660
- The king is here.
- You're number one.
866
00:40:53,827 --> 00:40:55,537
How you doing?
Come here and give me a hug.
867
00:40:55,704 --> 00:40:57,289
Mmm, you look good.
868
00:40:57,456 --> 00:41:00,167
Hey, get a carrot for
the SS Fudgealicious, okay?
869
00:41:00,334 --> 00:41:02,127
I assume that's the horse?
870
00:41:02,294 --> 00:41:05,922
Never assume. When you assume
you make an asshole out of yourself.
871
00:41:06,089 --> 00:41:07,466
( laughs )
872
00:41:07,633 --> 00:41:09,801
All right, thank you.
Go back to eating.
873
00:41:09,968 --> 00:41:11,511
Enjoy yourselves.
Forget it. It's not about me.
874
00:41:11,678 --> 00:41:15,098
Hey, Rich, tell Dave
to cook that swordfish.
875
00:41:15,265 --> 00:41:18,018
I won it from Emeril Lagasse
in a thumb-wrestling contest.
876
00:41:18,185 --> 00:41:20,145
- I broke this thumb. Bam!
- ( shrieks )
877
00:41:20,312 --> 00:41:22,439
He cried like a baby.
( laughs )
878
00:41:22,606 --> 00:41:24,691
Hey, look,
me and Mr. Yamamuri,
879
00:41:24,858 --> 00:41:26,693
we want the best seat
in the house.
880
00:41:26,860 --> 00:41:28,111
We want the royal treatment, Rich.
881
00:41:28,278 --> 00:41:29,738
Uh, Champ, you can't.
882
00:41:29,905 --> 00:41:32,491
I mean, we need those tables
if you want to earn the 20 grand.
883
00:41:32,658 --> 00:41:35,202
That's nice, Rich.
Check this out.
884
00:41:35,369 --> 00:41:37,371
If you don't find me a table,
885
00:41:37,537 --> 00:41:40,957
I'm gonna shove him
up your ass.
886
00:41:41,124 --> 00:41:44,461
( Chuckles )
Champ, isn't he Yakuza?
887
00:41:44,628 --> 00:41:47,339
Come on, man. Don't be racist.
No, he's not Yakuza.
888
00:41:47,506 --> 00:41:51,259
Mr. Yamamuri is gonna make the first
Slammin' Salmon candy bar in Japan.
889
00:41:51,426 --> 00:41:53,261
Check it out-- a layer of chocolate,
890
00:41:53,428 --> 00:41:57,224
nougat, peanut, more nougat
and salmon.
891
00:41:57,391 --> 00:41:59,351
Yeah, I know it sounds nasty,
but trust me.
892
00:41:59,518 --> 00:42:01,895
They love that fish candy
over in the Orient.
893
00:42:02,062 --> 00:42:04,189
Now I'm saying that to say this:
894
00:42:04,356 --> 00:42:07,067
shut the fuck up,
get me a table,
895
00:42:07,234 --> 00:42:09,945
or I'm gonna use your nuts
for cuff links.
896
00:42:10,112 --> 00:42:12,114
- Coming right up. Great.
- All right.
897
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:13,949
- Candy bar sounds delicious.
-It is.
898
00:42:14,116 --> 00:42:16,326
- Okay, be right back.
- All right.
899
00:42:16,493 --> 00:42:18,787
You're gonna love this waitress.
She's a ballerina.
900
00:42:18,954 --> 00:42:21,957
Graceful like a swan.
Tell Mr. Yamamuri.
901
00:42:22,124 --> 00:42:24,000
( Speaking Japanese )
902
00:42:24,167 --> 00:42:26,712
- Hey, Champ.
- ( shrieks )
903
00:42:28,630 --> 00:42:30,966
What the fuck happened to you?
904
00:42:31,133 --> 00:42:33,093
I got burned with soup.
905
00:42:33,260 --> 00:42:36,388
Don't you know you're supposed
to blow on it first?
906
00:42:36,555 --> 00:42:37,639
Yes, Champ.
907
00:42:37,806 --> 00:42:39,933
Well, don't just stand there.
Get out of here, soup face.
908
00:42:40,100 --> 00:42:41,393
You're offending
my Tokyokan guest.
909
00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:44,354
- Get me the smart girl.
- Tara?
910
00:42:44,521 --> 00:42:47,190
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I'm gonna get her for you.
911
00:42:47,357 --> 00:42:49,860
And tell her to bring me
some champagne.
912
00:42:50,026 --> 00:42:52,821
I am so sorry, but her soup face
scared the shit out of me.
913
00:42:52,988 --> 00:42:54,573
My voice is not that high.
914
00:42:54,740 --> 00:42:56,700
( Grunting )
915
00:42:56,867 --> 00:42:59,661
This says eight hours.
I need something faster.
916
00:42:59,828 --> 00:43:01,580
I hear eye-drops
work on some people.
917
00:43:01,747 --> 00:43:04,166
One glass of apple juice
and I can fill up a mailbox.
918
00:43:04,332 --> 00:43:07,169
- Yogurt.
- Cheddar cheese.
919
00:43:07,335 --> 00:43:11,047
Tara, the Champ wants you
to wait on him.
920
00:43:11,214 --> 00:43:13,925
Oh, okay.
921
00:43:14,968 --> 00:43:18,138
- Cause of the...
- Oh, yeah. Right.
922
00:43:18,305 --> 00:43:20,307
( Speaking Japanese )
923
00:43:22,893 --> 00:43:26,229
Mr. Yamamuri say he think
if Muhammad Ali
924
00:43:26,396 --> 00:43:28,774
was still young man
no one ever defeat him.
925
00:43:28,940 --> 00:43:30,233
( laughs )
926
00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:32,778
Yeah, well, if ifs and buts
was candies and nuts,
927
00:43:32,944 --> 00:43:34,863
we'd all have a merry Christmas.
Tell him that.
928
00:43:35,030 --> 00:43:38,366
( Speaking Japanese )
929
00:43:39,534 --> 00:43:41,077
No, I didn't say that.
930
00:43:41,244 --> 00:43:44,748
If ifs and buts
was candies and nuts,
931
00:43:44,915 --> 00:43:47,042
we'd all have a merry Christmas.
932
00:43:47,209 --> 00:43:48,460
Yes, Champ-san.
933
00:43:48,627 --> 00:43:50,712
- I translate--
- Say it!
934
00:43:53,048 --> 00:43:57,052
If if and but
was candy and nut,
935
00:43:57,219 --> 00:43:59,387
we all have a merry Christmas.
936
00:43:59,554 --> 00:44:01,932
Thank you.
Was that so hard?
937
00:44:02,098 --> 00:44:04,893
- Hey, Champ.
- Mmm.
938
00:44:05,060 --> 00:44:06,394
Oh.
939
00:44:06,561 --> 00:44:09,272
Dave, what did you do?
Did you blow Papa Smurf?
940
00:44:09,439 --> 00:44:11,691
( laughs )
941
00:44:11,858 --> 00:44:14,569
Blow Papa Smurf.
942
00:44:16,071 --> 00:44:19,157
We got a couple of stiffs over here.
943
00:44:19,324 --> 00:44:20,992
Champ, would you like
to order some appetizers?
944
00:44:21,159 --> 00:44:23,703
Yes, I would like to order
some encrapments.
945
00:44:23,870 --> 00:44:26,373
I will have the frutti del mare,
946
00:44:26,540 --> 00:44:28,792
the oysters del cabana
947
00:44:28,959 --> 00:44:31,086
and the clams casino.
948
00:44:31,253 --> 00:44:33,463
And for the entree I want
that swordfish that I caught.
949
00:44:33,630 --> 00:44:36,424
Oh, and Dave, make sure
you cook the nose too.
950
00:44:36,591 --> 00:44:38,760
I want to see
what that tastes like.
951
00:44:38,927 --> 00:44:40,262
You got that, Dave?
952
00:44:40,428 --> 00:44:42,931
Oh, and I want maraschino cherries
on everything.
953
00:44:43,098 --> 00:44:45,851
Did you know
that the word maraschino
954
00:44:46,017 --> 00:44:49,104
came from the boxer
Rocky Maraschino?
955
00:44:49,271 --> 00:44:52,190
Uh, it's actually Rocky Marciano.
956
00:44:52,357 --> 00:44:55,110
Whatever, motherfucker!
957
00:44:55,277 --> 00:44:57,612
Okay. Okay. Okay.
958
00:44:58,947 --> 00:45:01,783
How do you say motherfucker
in Spanish?
959
00:45:01,950 --> 00:45:04,286
Most guys go surf 'n' turf.
960
00:45:04,452 --> 00:45:07,205
But I like a guy who goes
surf 'n' surf 'n' turf 'n' turf.
961
00:45:07,372 --> 00:45:08,957
You know, actually,
could you give us a minute?
962
00:45:09,124 --> 00:45:12,627
And we will call you
when we need you.
963
00:45:12,794 --> 00:45:16,131
( laughs )
You men always say you're gonna call.
964
00:45:16,298 --> 00:45:18,174
Okay, actually I'm just trying
to keep my appetite here.
965
00:45:18,341 --> 00:45:20,302
But thank you...
966
00:45:20,468 --> 00:45:22,429
for groping me
967
00:45:22,596 --> 00:45:24,639
and bringing your face
into our dinner.
968
00:45:26,308 --> 00:45:29,144
These are the days I thank God
I have a perfect face.
969
00:45:35,901 --> 00:45:37,277
Sorry.
970
00:45:42,157 --> 00:45:44,159
Hmm.
971
00:45:45,535 --> 00:45:47,829
- Hey, you.
- Oh.
972
00:45:49,372 --> 00:45:52,876
So I'm gonna take you up on
your offer about working as a team.
973
00:45:53,043 --> 00:45:56,004
Oh, I don't know.
974
00:45:56,171 --> 00:45:58,256
I think I would drag you down.
975
00:45:58,423 --> 00:45:59,799
No.
976
00:45:59,966 --> 00:46:02,260
Best of luck to you.
977
00:46:03,595 --> 00:46:05,972
Dave: Get it out of the soup!
Get it out of the soup!
978
00:46:06,139 --> 00:46:08,558
Will somebody please kill this thing?!
979
00:46:08,725 --> 00:46:12,103
He's strong!
He's strong!
980
00:46:12,270 --> 00:46:15,231
What the fuck is taking so long?
981
00:46:18,318 --> 00:46:20,528
- Oh!
- ( Fish groaning )
982
00:46:22,072 --> 00:46:24,199
You have to dominate
the swordfish.
983
00:46:24,366 --> 00:46:26,952
Only then can you saute it.
984
00:46:27,118 --> 00:46:29,120
Thanks, Champ.
985
00:46:29,287 --> 00:46:31,081
Rich, numbers!
986
00:46:31,247 --> 00:46:33,458
Here you go.
987
00:46:33,625 --> 00:46:34,834
Are we at 20 grand yet?
988
00:46:35,001 --> 00:46:36,252
We're at 12,000.
989
00:46:36,419 --> 00:46:38,171
That's not even halfway.
990
00:46:38,338 --> 00:46:40,924
- Um, actually...
- In my office!
991
00:46:42,884 --> 00:46:44,469
Everybody in my office!
992
00:46:46,054 --> 00:46:47,889
No no no, not the customers.
993
00:46:48,056 --> 00:46:49,641
You guys sit down.
994
00:46:49,808 --> 00:46:52,185
Wait staff in my office.
995
00:47:07,409 --> 00:47:10,912
So I guess nobody wants
this trip to the Bahamas.
996
00:47:11,079 --> 00:47:13,748
Um, it's actually Key Largo, Champ.
Persuasions.
997
00:47:13,915 --> 00:47:17,085
You know what?
Don't say another word.
998
00:47:17,252 --> 00:47:20,255
'Cause you've proven yourself useless,
wouldn't you say?
999
00:47:20,422 --> 00:47:22,382
Say it.
1000
00:47:22,549 --> 00:47:26,594
I am useless with a capital Y.
1001
00:47:26,761 --> 00:47:28,888
I am useless
1002
00:47:29,055 --> 00:47:30,807
with a capital Y.
1003
00:47:30,974 --> 00:47:34,352
That's right.
Now then, when I was in your position,
1004
00:47:34,519 --> 00:47:36,604
I would have rabbit-punched
my own mother
1005
00:47:36,771 --> 00:47:38,732
for a trip to the Bahamas.
1006
00:47:40,316 --> 00:47:42,652
Are you telling me you wouldn't want
to be on a beach right now
1007
00:47:42,819 --> 00:47:44,529
sipping on a strawberry daiquiri?
1008
00:47:44,696 --> 00:47:47,323
- I would like that very much.
- Well, too bad!
1009
00:47:47,490 --> 00:47:49,993
'Cause strawberry daiquiris
are for closers!
1010
00:47:50,160 --> 00:47:51,953
Not for pussies!
1011
00:47:54,956 --> 00:47:56,249
Hey, numb nuts.
1012
00:47:56,416 --> 00:47:58,543
Yeah, Champ?
1013
00:47:58,710 --> 00:48:01,337
You're gonna be polishing
my fist with your teeth.
1014
00:48:02,422 --> 00:48:04,007
( Whispers )
I'll get to you later.
1015
00:48:04,174 --> 00:48:07,385
Who is Guy "Meatdrapes™?
What kind of name is that?
1016
00:48:07,552 --> 00:48:09,804
It's Metdrapedes, sir.
1017
00:48:09,971 --> 00:48:11,848
It's Greek.
1018
00:48:12,015 --> 00:48:14,267
Well, I think you're
pronouncing it wrong.
1019
00:48:14,434 --> 00:48:16,227
This says "Me at drapes."”
1020
00:48:16,394 --> 00:48:18,813
It's actually pronounced
Metdrapedes.
1021
00:48:18,980 --> 00:48:20,815
Well, why doesn't it sound
like that when I say it?
1022
00:48:20,982 --> 00:48:22,650
"Me at drapes.”
1023
00:48:22,817 --> 00:48:24,986
I don't know.
1024
00:48:25,153 --> 00:48:27,322
You don't know much,
do you, Guy?
1025
00:48:27,489 --> 00:48:29,115
No, sir.
1026
00:48:29,282 --> 00:48:31,326
Well, if a trip to the Bahamas
1027
00:48:31,493 --> 00:48:33,828
ain't gonna get the molasses
out ya asses,
1028
00:48:33,995 --> 00:48:36,372
maybe $10,000 will do the trick.
1029
00:48:36,539 --> 00:48:38,750
- What?
- What?
1030
00:48:38,917 --> 00:48:41,669
- 10,000 bucks?
- That's right, new prize.
1031
00:48:41,836 --> 00:48:45,381
Top waiter leaves here tonight
with 10 grand in his pocket.
1032
00:48:45,548 --> 00:48:48,802
Do you know what 10 grand
feels like in your pocket?
1033
00:48:48,968 --> 00:48:51,096
It feels like a third cock.
1034
00:48:51,262 --> 00:48:54,724
( laughs )
Jesus, how many cocks you got, Champ?
1035
00:48:56,518 --> 00:48:58,269
Are you lampooning me,
Me at drapes?
1036
00:48:58,436 --> 00:48:59,562
No, of course not, sir.
1037
00:48:59,729 --> 00:49:02,357
- You want a punch in the eye, Guy?
- No, please.
1038
00:49:02,524 --> 00:49:04,359
I can make your face
look like a pie, Guy.
1039
00:49:04,526 --> 00:49:06,194
Oh, God, no.
1040
00:49:06,361 --> 00:49:08,363
Oh!
1041
00:49:15,161 --> 00:49:17,705
- ( Groans )
- (all groan)
1042
00:49:17,872 --> 00:49:19,958
Excuse me.
I didn't mean to do that.
1043
00:49:20,125 --> 00:49:22,752
But now you know the deal.
1044
00:49:22,919 --> 00:49:25,046
The waiter that comes in first place
1045
00:49:25,213 --> 00:49:27,382
gets $10,000.
1046
00:49:27,549 --> 00:49:30,802
Whoever comes in last
gets a broken rib sandwich.
1047
00:49:30,969 --> 00:49:33,638
And I wasn't even trying to hurt him.
1048
00:49:33,805 --> 00:49:37,016
- Are you about to cry, Guy?
- No, of course not.
1049
00:49:37,183 --> 00:49:38,810
Loosen up your tie, Guy.
1050
00:49:38,977 --> 00:49:41,062
Did you hear what I just said?
1051
00:49:41,229 --> 00:49:43,022
It was a rhyme.
1052
00:49:43,189 --> 00:49:46,442
If you're not gonna cry,
then put it in his eye.
1053
00:49:46,609 --> 00:49:51,114
Punch to the gut
and make him smell like a skunk.
1054
00:49:51,281 --> 00:49:53,741
If he runs out of meat then he's...
1055
00:49:53,908 --> 00:49:56,327
( imitating scratching )
1056
00:50:03,042 --> 00:50:04,794
So what are you all staring at?
1057
00:50:04,961 --> 00:50:07,046
Don't nobody want $10,000?
1058
00:50:07,213 --> 00:50:09,716
Get the hell out of here now!
1059
00:50:09,883 --> 00:50:11,926
- Get out of my way.
- I've got this thing in the bag.
1060
00:50:12,093 --> 00:50:13,344
Bullshit, big nose,
it's already over.
1061
00:50:13,511 --> 00:50:15,346
Um, Champ,
1062
00:50:15,513 --> 00:50:17,307
I don't mean to tell you
your business,
1063
00:50:17,473 --> 00:50:20,018
but if you have to make 20 grand
tonight and you give away 10,
1064
00:50:20,185 --> 00:50:22,687
it works counter
to what you're trying to do.
1065
00:50:22,854 --> 00:50:26,107
Richardo, believe it or not,
I ain't a numbers man.
1066
00:50:26,274 --> 00:50:28,193
I punch people for a living.
1067
00:50:28,359 --> 00:50:31,487
And I'm gonna punch you
if you don't make that money tonight.
1068
00:50:31,654 --> 00:50:34,157
Okay, that's good math.
I'm on it.
1069
00:50:34,324 --> 00:50:36,326
( Clamoring )
1070
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:45,335
( laughing )
1071
00:50:45,501 --> 00:50:48,129
- You really mean that?
- Oh, yeah I do.
1072
00:50:49,631 --> 00:50:51,507
Wow, that is so cool.
1073
00:50:51,674 --> 00:50:53,801
It's that couple's
20th wedding anniversary.
1074
00:50:53,968 --> 00:50:57,472
Woman:
Really? They look so young.
1075
00:50:57,639 --> 00:50:59,224
Well, they've been married
since they were 16.
1076
00:50:59,390 --> 00:51:01,809
Can you believe?
That's a more.
1077
00:51:02,894 --> 00:51:06,773
Gordon, send those kids
a bottle of champagne.
1078
00:51:06,940 --> 00:51:08,608
Apparently they've been
married for 10 years.
1079
00:51:08,775 --> 00:51:11,402
But she didn't want to get pregnant
until the cancer went into remission.
1080
00:51:11,569 --> 00:51:14,530
Well, it went into remission last week.
1081
00:51:14,697 --> 00:51:17,408
Oh, will you send them a bottle of your
best champagne? On us, of course.
1082
00:51:17,575 --> 00:51:19,327
- It'd be my pleasure.
- Thank you.
1083
00:51:19,494 --> 00:51:21,329
Mia:
You see that man over there?
1084
00:51:21,496 --> 00:51:24,040
He's the one who pulled me
from the burning car.
1085
00:51:24,207 --> 00:51:25,541
He's my hero.
1086
00:51:25,708 --> 00:51:27,543
Tara:
After three years in a wheelchair,
1087
00:51:27,710 --> 00:51:29,587
he walked into her arms.
1088
00:51:29,754 --> 00:51:32,298
It was Oprah's highest
rated episode.
1089
00:51:32,465 --> 00:51:35,218
And they're sitting right over there.
1090
00:51:35,385 --> 00:51:38,680
I am gonna stuff it in your ass tonight.
1091
00:51:38,846 --> 00:51:41,516
Well, that's gonna be
an extra 50 bucks.
1092
00:51:41,683 --> 00:51:44,769
That's okay.
Shellfish makes me horny.
1093
00:51:44,936 --> 00:51:47,522
- Good, 'cause I got crabs.
- Who doesn't?
1094
00:51:47,689 --> 00:51:51,025
Excuse me, sir.
Compliments of the house.
1095
00:51:51,192 --> 00:51:53,611
( Customers cheering )
1096
00:51:57,699 --> 00:51:59,826
What is this,
some kind of hidden camera thing?
1097
00:51:59,993 --> 00:52:02,787
- Are you miked?
- Are you miked?
1098
00:52:02,954 --> 00:52:05,665
I was just kidding about the anal.
1099
00:52:05,832 --> 00:52:07,375
- Woman: Eww.
- ( applause stops )
1100
00:52:07,542 --> 00:52:08,710
I was just bored at the hotel.
1101
00:52:08,876 --> 00:52:10,837
I was looking for something
to do with my cock.
1102
00:52:11,004 --> 00:52:12,964
Perfectly natch.
1103
00:52:13,131 --> 00:52:16,175
Come on, take a look at her.
You wouldn't kick in that back door?
1104
00:52:16,342 --> 00:52:18,970
- I'm not ashamed.
- Fuck this!
1105
00:52:32,025 --> 00:52:35,236
Yeah, Guy.
Number two with a bullet.
1106
00:52:35,403 --> 00:52:37,739
Congratulations.
1107
00:52:37,905 --> 00:52:39,198
Burn.
1108
00:52:39,365 --> 00:52:41,743
I would like to see you try
and sell with a burned face,
1109
00:52:41,909 --> 00:52:44,078
you orange tanned prick!
1110
00:52:44,245 --> 00:52:46,748
Oh, sucks to be you, Hiroshima.
1111
00:52:48,333 --> 00:52:49,584
10 grand!
1112
00:52:49,751 --> 00:52:54,172
I got my eye on a leather couch
with a velvet dick hole in it.
1113
00:52:54,339 --> 00:52:55,715
Oh, yeah?
Well, check out the scoreboard.
1114
00:52:55,882 --> 00:52:57,633
You got to get by me first,
fake 'n' bake.
1115
00:52:57,800 --> 00:53:00,887
- Aha-ha! See ya.
- Oh, I am going to own this.
1116
00:53:12,148 --> 00:53:14,650
Hi there.
Hey.
1117
00:53:14,817 --> 00:53:16,652
Is that Norma Jones?
1118
00:53:16,819 --> 00:53:18,446
That's Nutella the pop star.
1119
00:53:18,613 --> 00:53:20,740
Connor: Yeah, you take Norah Jones,
Fergie and Beyonce
1120
00:53:20,907 --> 00:53:22,241
and mix 'em together,
you get Nutella.
1121
00:53:22,408 --> 00:53:25,745
Ah. Who's Beyonce?
1122
00:53:25,912 --> 00:53:28,790
- Nutella, Nutella.
- There he is.
1123
00:53:28,956 --> 00:53:30,625
Good to see you.
1124
00:53:30,792 --> 00:53:32,835
Mwah Mwah.
1125
00:53:33,002 --> 00:53:35,963
Nutella thinks it's always good
to see you too, Champ.
1126
00:53:36,130 --> 00:53:37,548
Give 'em the best seat in the house.
1127
00:53:37,715 --> 00:53:40,802
Thank you, baby.
Y'all see all that chocolate?
1128
00:53:40,968 --> 00:53:42,845
- I know, I love chocolate.
- I heard that.
1129
00:53:43,012 --> 00:53:44,305
- Right this way.
- All right.
1130
00:53:44,472 --> 00:53:46,724
- Perfect, that table.
- Come on.
1131
00:53:46,891 --> 00:53:49,727
- Thank you.
- Yes!
1132
00:53:49,894 --> 00:53:52,021
Come on.
1133
00:53:52,188 --> 00:53:55,108
- Hey, sexy Patty.
- Hey.
1134
00:53:55,274 --> 00:53:56,859
Hey, if you give me the best tables
for the rest of the night
1135
00:53:57,026 --> 00:53:58,528
I'll take you to Persuasions
with me.
1136
00:53:58,694 --> 00:54:00,405
Oh, I thought you were taking Mia.
1137
00:54:00,571 --> 00:54:03,241
No, I would rather take you-a.
1138
00:54:03,408 --> 00:54:05,368
Oh my God,
you are so funny.
1139
00:54:05,535 --> 00:54:06,744
You've got a great sense of humor.
1140
00:54:06,911 --> 00:54:08,246
Oh, you have great posture.
1141
00:54:08,413 --> 00:54:09,705
I used to have scoliosis.
1142
00:54:09,872 --> 00:54:12,166
You can't tell.
1143
00:54:16,129 --> 00:54:17,463
Good evening, Miss Nutella.
1144
00:54:17,630 --> 00:54:20,800
We are so honored
to have you with us tonight.
1145
00:54:20,967 --> 00:54:23,678
Can I just say that I love your song
1146
00:54:23,845 --> 00:54:25,930
"Too Sincere For You"?
1147
00:54:26,097 --> 00:54:29,684
♪ For you... ♪
It's up here.
1148
00:54:29,851 --> 00:54:31,519
Got it.
Nutella thanks you, baby.
1149
00:54:31,686 --> 00:54:34,021
Now can we order fast?
'Cause Nutella is hungry.
1150
00:54:34,188 --> 00:54:35,648
Of course.
1151
00:54:35,815 --> 00:54:37,692
So what should we have?
1152
00:54:37,859 --> 00:54:41,737
Well, the Champ ordered
two bottles of Cristal,
1153
00:54:41,904 --> 00:54:44,073
four lobsters troubadour,
1154
00:54:44,240 --> 00:54:45,950
an Alaskan king crab,
1155
00:54:46,117 --> 00:54:49,495
oysters carbonara
and a round of swordfish.
1156
00:54:49,662 --> 00:54:51,956
Well, we will take five of that.
1157
00:54:52,123 --> 00:54:54,292
- Fantastic.
- You treat Nutella right,
1158
00:54:54,459 --> 00:54:56,127
Nutella treats you right.
1159
00:54:56,294 --> 00:54:58,087
- I know what you're saying, girlfriend.
- All right, girl.
1160
00:54:58,254 --> 00:55:01,549
- Okay, right.
- Show 'em what you're working with.
1161
00:55:13,144 --> 00:55:14,770
( Glass shatters )
1162
00:55:19,442 --> 00:55:22,403
Okay, great.
There we go.
1163
00:55:24,572 --> 00:55:27,325
No. What?
What are you doing?
1164
00:55:27,492 --> 00:55:29,494
- Why am I on the board?
- I am giving you a section.
1165
00:55:29,660 --> 00:55:31,621
Congratulations, you are in
the competition.
1166
00:55:31,787 --> 00:55:33,080
What are you talking about?
I'm a busboy.
1167
00:55:33,247 --> 00:55:35,833
- You were a busboy.
- Get your hands off me.
1168
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:37,376
But now you're a waiter.
1169
00:55:37,543 --> 00:55:40,129
No, I don't know the first thing
about waiting tables.
1170
00:55:40,296 --> 00:55:42,632
It's very simple.
You ask the people what they want,
1171
00:55:42,798 --> 00:55:45,051
and then you bring it to them.
A monkey could do it.
1172
00:55:45,218 --> 00:55:48,596
I'm four hours behind these guys
and I'm shitfaced.
1173
00:55:48,763 --> 00:55:50,431
- Bring those tables out.
- No no no!
1174
00:55:50,598 --> 00:55:52,767
Rich:
Great, stick them wherever they fit.
1175
00:55:52,934 --> 00:55:54,519
Donnie:
Please don't do this.
1176
00:55:54,685 --> 00:55:56,938
Rock shrimp and scallop Linguini.
1177
00:55:57,104 --> 00:55:59,774
Stay close to the shitter.
I call it my pants down pasta.
1178
00:55:59,941 --> 00:56:01,692
Be sure to eat all the cream.
Hey, douche bag.
1179
00:56:01,859 --> 00:56:04,403
Dave, you've got to tell the guy
I'm a fuck-up, yeah?
1180
00:56:04,570 --> 00:56:06,989
No no no, you'll do great.
You made it through six months of college.
1181
00:56:07,156 --> 00:56:09,575
- Come on, Dave.
- Sounds like waiter material to me.
1182
00:56:09,742 --> 00:56:11,536
This is delicious.
1183
00:56:11,702 --> 00:56:15,456
I hope the Champ knocks every tooth
out of your fucking head.
1184
00:56:15,623 --> 00:56:17,667
I hope the Champ
knocks your tooth out.
1185
00:56:21,963 --> 00:56:24,173
Ah!
1186
00:56:25,299 --> 00:56:28,219
Shots shots shots.
Come on, get it into ya.
1187
00:56:31,264 --> 00:56:33,891
Hello, gentlemen,
and welcome to the Salmon Slammin'.
1188
00:56:34,058 --> 00:56:37,311
My name is Donnie. Can I start you off
with something to drink tonight?
1189
00:56:37,478 --> 00:56:39,939
We've already got some drinks,
haven't we, mate?
1190
00:56:40,106 --> 00:56:41,941
Sounds like you're from the UK.
1191
00:56:42,108 --> 00:56:45,319
Are you in a band like Oasis
or Herman's Hermits?
1192
00:56:45,486 --> 00:56:48,030
No, we're not.
1193
00:56:48,197 --> 00:56:50,908
Are there any answers I can question
you from the menu tonight?
1194
00:56:51,075 --> 00:56:54,245
All right, Donnie, why don't you tell us
something good on the menu, eh?
1195
00:56:54,412 --> 00:56:56,163
Well, the Blue Curacao
is excellent.
1196
00:56:56,330 --> 00:56:58,416
( laughs )
Private joke.
1197
00:56:58,583 --> 00:57:00,710
Just get us some more shots, all right?
1198
00:57:00,876 --> 00:57:03,379
Then I will just clear these shot glasses
out of the way for you.
1199
00:57:03,546 --> 00:57:05,673
Hey hey!
1200
00:57:10,261 --> 00:57:12,346
You fucking cunt.
1201
00:57:12,513 --> 00:57:15,349
I'm not drunk.
1202
00:57:28,446 --> 00:57:30,573
So how is everything tonight?
1203
00:57:30,740 --> 00:57:33,784
Oh, truly splendid, Guy.
Thank you.
1204
00:57:33,951 --> 00:57:36,370
Well, we're really really busy tonight.
1205
00:57:36,537 --> 00:57:38,289
Yes, I can see that.
1206
00:57:38,456 --> 00:57:40,833
So is there anything else I can get
for you tonight
1207
00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:43,044
or just the check?
1208
00:57:43,210 --> 00:57:45,713
Well, I wouldn't mind a cup of tea.
1209
00:57:45,880 --> 00:57:49,300
Get the fuck out of here.
1210
00:57:49,467 --> 00:57:51,385
Excuse me?
1211
00:57:51,552 --> 00:57:52,928
Are you reading
"War and Peace"?
1212
00:57:53,095 --> 00:57:54,305
Get the fuck out of here.
I love that book.
1213
00:57:54,472 --> 00:57:57,600
Oh, well, perhaps you'd like
to come to my book club.
1214
00:57:57,767 --> 00:58:01,937
Yeah, last week we read
Flaubert's "Madame Bovary."
1215
00:58:02,104 --> 00:58:04,190
It really brought the...
1216
00:58:04,357 --> 00:58:06,442
house down.
1217
00:58:06,609 --> 00:58:08,319
Hey, kid.
1218
00:58:08,486 --> 00:58:09,654
I like you.
1219
00:58:09,820 --> 00:58:11,864
I think they put you
in a really tough situation.
1220
00:58:12,031 --> 00:58:13,949
I'm gonna help you out
and give you one of my tables.
1221
00:58:14,116 --> 00:58:15,701
Really? Thanks.
1222
00:58:15,868 --> 00:58:18,079
Yeah, see Donald Trump over there?
1223
00:58:20,081 --> 00:58:21,957
Knock yourself out.
1224
00:58:24,752 --> 00:58:27,129
- Mmm-mmm.
- Ooh, Connor.
1225
00:58:27,296 --> 00:58:29,548
- Hmm?
- I just sat you a six.
1226
00:58:29,715 --> 00:58:31,008
Six.
1227
00:58:31,175 --> 00:58:32,927
Mmm, thanks, Patty.
1228
00:58:35,888 --> 00:58:38,474
Woman: So you just keep
whacking him in the knee.
1229
00:58:38,641 --> 00:58:40,518
( laughs )
1230
00:58:40,685 --> 00:58:43,020
Painful, but better
than a punch in the face.
1231
00:58:43,187 --> 00:58:44,980
( laughing )
1232
00:58:49,652 --> 00:58:52,780
- Connor?
- Hey, Morgan.
1233
00:58:52,947 --> 00:58:55,282
Hi.
1234
00:58:55,449 --> 00:58:57,243
You remember Dick Lobo,
1235
00:58:57,410 --> 00:58:59,704
- the producer of "CFl Hotlanta."
- Hey.
1236
00:58:59,870 --> 00:59:01,288
( Chuckles )
Of course.
1237
00:59:01,455 --> 00:59:03,290
And the entire rest of the cast.
1238
00:59:03,457 --> 00:59:06,001
Yeah, Ron, Mary Kay, Jojo.
1239
00:59:06,168 --> 00:59:08,713
Um, what are you guys doing here?
1240
00:59:08,879 --> 00:59:11,716
Oh, we're in town to shoot
this fabulous crossover promo
1241
00:59:11,882 --> 00:59:13,092
with "CFl Miami."
1242
00:59:13,259 --> 00:59:14,635
Oh, cool.
1243
00:59:14,802 --> 00:59:16,887
You know, somebody suggested
that if I was in Miami
1244
00:59:17,054 --> 00:59:18,389
this is the place to come.
1245
00:59:18,556 --> 00:59:20,182
That was me.
1246
00:59:20,349 --> 00:59:22,685
Right.
Right.
1247
00:59:22,852 --> 00:59:24,854
Yeah, so what are you doing here?
1248
00:59:25,020 --> 00:59:27,481
You researching a role
for TV or something?
1249
00:59:27,648 --> 00:59:29,316
Not really.
1250
00:59:29,483 --> 00:59:31,986
I actually just work here.
So...
1251
00:59:32,153 --> 00:59:34,780
- Keeping it real, huh?
- ( chuckles )
1252
00:59:34,947 --> 00:59:38,284
- Good for you, dog.
- All right. Okay.
1253
00:59:39,827 --> 00:59:42,872
So can I get you all started off
1254
00:59:43,038 --> 00:59:45,082
with something to drink?
1255
00:59:45,249 --> 00:59:49,420
I told myself
I wasn't going to put
1256
00:59:49,587 --> 00:59:54,008
my thumbprint
into every dessert
1257
00:59:54,175 --> 00:59:55,676
and yet...
1258
00:59:58,471 --> 01:00:00,181
That's impossible.
1259
01:00:00,347 --> 01:00:02,099
I never touched that one.
1260
01:00:02,266 --> 01:00:03,559
You know you're gonna
have to start over now.
1261
01:00:03,726 --> 01:00:05,060
I know.
1262
01:00:06,145 --> 01:00:08,689
I told myself
I wasn't going to put...
1263
01:00:08,856 --> 01:00:10,524
This is undefeated, you are--
1264
01:00:10,691 --> 01:00:12,610
Should be depleted.
1265
01:00:12,777 --> 01:00:14,195
When you go against me
1266
01:00:14,361 --> 01:00:16,822
you're gonna
be needing a paramedic.
1267
01:00:16,989 --> 01:00:19,784
P-a-r-a-dic.
Paramedic.
1268
01:00:19,950 --> 01:00:22,036
( Screaming )
1269
01:00:22,203 --> 01:00:24,914
Zongo's in the house!
1270
01:00:25,080 --> 01:00:28,375
- ( Humming )
- ( applauding )
1271
01:00:28,542 --> 01:00:31,337
( Singing )
1272
01:00:31,504 --> 01:00:33,964
( laughing )
1273
01:00:34,131 --> 01:00:36,300
Cleon:
Hey, he's onto something.
1274
01:00:36,467 --> 01:00:37,927
You guys see Nuts?
1275
01:00:38,093 --> 01:00:41,430
I want all the wait staff
skipping just like Nuts now.
1276
01:00:43,432 --> 01:00:46,268
God damn it, I said now!
Skip!
1277
01:00:46,435 --> 01:00:48,771
Skip, everybody!
1278
01:00:48,938 --> 01:00:51,065
Keep skipping.
Keep skipping.
1279
01:00:51,232 --> 01:00:52,817
If you're in one place,
hop up and down.
1280
01:00:52,983 --> 01:00:55,611
- There you go, man.
- Tara: You doing all right?
1281
01:00:55,778 --> 01:00:59,281
Skip it like you mean it!
Keep skipping!
1282
01:00:59,448 --> 01:01:00,741
What the fuck?
1283
01:01:00,908 --> 01:01:04,203
♪ Tempura ♪
1284
01:01:04,370 --> 01:01:07,665
♪ It's delicious. ♪
1285
01:01:10,626 --> 01:01:12,920
That's great.
1286
01:01:13,087 --> 01:01:15,005
I love it.
We'll take all of it.
1287
01:01:15,172 --> 01:01:17,216
- Nuts, Nuts, come here.
- Rich: Tara, Tara, Tara.
1288
01:01:17,383 --> 01:01:20,135
Rich, he's over the edge.
We have to help him.
1289
01:01:20,302 --> 01:01:21,762
Let it slide.
He's selling like crazy.
1290
01:01:21,929 --> 01:01:25,015
- You don't care?
- I totally care.
1291
01:01:26,976 --> 01:01:28,894
Rich, look at him.
He's totally out of control.
1292
01:01:29,061 --> 01:01:31,105
That doesn't bother you?
1293
01:01:31,272 --> 01:01:34,066
- Keep up the good work, okay?
- Rich, come on. Something's wrong.
1294
01:01:34,233 --> 01:01:35,943
If you need anything
ask for Zongo.
1295
01:01:37,611 --> 01:01:39,238
In second place is Connor.
1296
01:01:39,405 --> 01:01:42,616
And in first place, Nuts/Zongo.
1297
01:01:42,783 --> 01:01:44,660
- Nuts is in first? Jesus Christ.
- What?
1298
01:01:44,827 --> 01:01:46,912
Rich, he's bazonkers.
Get him off the floor.
1299
01:01:47,079 --> 01:01:49,331
- Yeah.
- Look, aren't we all a little bazonkers?
1300
01:01:49,498 --> 01:01:51,917
Rich, why are you doing this?
Is it because of the Champ?
1301
01:01:52,084 --> 01:01:53,794
That's ridiculous.
We have a job to do.
1302
01:01:53,961 --> 01:01:55,671
Nuts and Zongo should at least count
as two different people.
1303
01:01:55,838 --> 01:01:56,839
- I agree.
- Yes.
1304
01:01:57,006 --> 01:01:59,425
Look, if it's any consolation,
you're all really close together.
1305
01:01:59,592 --> 01:02:01,343
- Oh.
- Except for you, Donnie.
1306
01:02:01,510 --> 01:02:03,387
- Oh.
- ( gurgling )
1307
01:02:03,554 --> 01:02:05,806
Oh my God. Excuse me.
I've got to go.
1308
01:02:05,973 --> 01:02:08,851
( Arguing )
1309
01:02:09,018 --> 01:02:12,187
- Got to be an asshole about this.
- I ain't losing to some lunatic.
1310
01:02:14,064 --> 01:02:16,317
If you don't like mauve we can totally
do some kind of texture
1311
01:02:16,483 --> 01:02:17,902
mosaic finger-painting.
1312
01:02:18,068 --> 01:02:19,737
Excuse me.
1313
01:02:19,904 --> 01:02:22,156
I just wanted to let you know
that the chef
1314
01:02:22,323 --> 01:02:24,158
is pushing out
1315
01:02:24,325 --> 01:02:26,869
your dessert from the oven.
1316
01:02:27,036 --> 01:02:29,121
It'll just be a few minutes.
1317
01:02:29,288 --> 01:02:33,250
Well, that is fantastic,
Detective Shep Winford.
1318
01:02:33,417 --> 01:02:35,961
Now why don't you track me
down another drink?
1319
01:02:36,128 --> 01:02:38,339
And tell them to put some
booze in it this time, yeah?
1320
01:02:38,505 --> 01:02:40,341
Coming right up.
1321
01:02:40,507 --> 01:02:42,217
- Are you sure you want another one?
- Yes.
1322
01:02:42,384 --> 01:02:44,178
Maybe a virgin rum and Coke.
1323
01:02:44,345 --> 01:02:47,306
- That would just be Coke.
- Oh, that sounds delicious.
1324
01:02:47,473 --> 01:02:49,266
Whoo!
What's up, noodle dicks?
1325
01:02:49,433 --> 01:02:52,269
That table over there just ordered
two rounds of premium tequila.
1326
01:02:52,436 --> 01:02:53,812
Now are y'all just gonna sit here
1327
01:02:53,979 --> 01:02:55,940
while they make you look like
a bunch of fucking pussies?
1328
01:02:56,106 --> 01:02:58,359
Hell no, dude.
We'll take three rounds.
1329
01:02:58,525 --> 01:02:59,818
Shit yeah!
What are y'all, Phi Taus?
1330
01:02:59,985 --> 01:03:02,446
- Phi Taus!
- Come on now, give it to me.
1331
01:03:02,613 --> 01:03:04,239
- Give it to me good.
- Let's take him down.
1332
01:03:04,406 --> 01:03:07,826
- I know where he keeps his meds.
- Yeah.
1333
01:03:07,993 --> 01:03:10,162
I want some booze
in my belly.
1334
01:03:10,329 --> 01:03:11,914
Yeah, baby!
1335
01:03:12,081 --> 01:03:14,875
Fidel, this is for a pissed-off movie star,
so give it some balls.
1336
01:03:16,210 --> 01:03:17,753
Mm-hmm, yeah. Do it.
1337
01:03:17,920 --> 01:03:20,714
Go and go.
That's what I'm talking about.
1338
01:03:20,881 --> 01:03:22,549
Hola, diablo blancos.
1339
01:03:22,716 --> 01:03:25,010
Zongo like vodka.
1340
01:03:25,177 --> 01:03:27,471
Hey hey, you doing okay, Zongo?
1341
01:03:27,638 --> 01:03:30,307
- Mmm.
- Hello, Zongo.
1342
01:03:30,474 --> 01:03:32,101
You've got to take it, Zongo.
1343
01:03:32,267 --> 01:03:34,728
Nobody puts Zongo in a cage.
1344
01:03:34,895 --> 01:03:38,399
No one's trying
to put Zongo in a cage, Zongo.
1345
01:03:38,565 --> 01:03:41,360
Okay.
I'll take it.
1346
01:03:41,527 --> 01:03:44,154
- It's so big!
- Get him!
1347
01:03:49,910 --> 01:03:52,287
Zongo, calm down.
1348
01:03:59,920 --> 01:04:02,131
( All groan)
1349
01:04:05,426 --> 01:04:06,719
What the fuck?
1350
01:04:06,885 --> 01:04:09,054
Hey, Mr. Lobo.
1351
01:04:09,221 --> 01:04:11,640
- Men's room?
- All: Just down the hall.
1352
01:04:11,807 --> 01:04:14,393
Miami.
1353
01:04:14,560 --> 01:04:16,520
Open. There.
1354
01:04:16,687 --> 01:04:19,398
Got it. Got it. Got it.
Got it. Got it.
1355
01:04:19,565 --> 01:04:22,067
Easy. Easy, Zongo.
Easy. Shh.
1356
01:04:22,234 --> 01:04:24,278
Easy. That's good.
1357
01:04:24,445 --> 01:04:27,197
- That's good.
- Get him up.
1358
01:04:30,951 --> 01:04:33,078
Hey, you look better.
1359
01:04:33,245 --> 01:04:34,705
Yeah, I'm better now.
1360
01:04:34,872 --> 01:04:37,499
I am gonna win this thing,
face or no face.
1361
01:04:37,666 --> 01:04:40,794
Got a birthday table and I've got
"em in the palm of my hand.
1362
01:04:40,961 --> 01:04:43,797
- So you want to sing with me?
-Yes, I do.
1363
01:04:43,964 --> 01:04:46,633
Get your poop in a group.
1364
01:04:49,428 --> 01:04:52,473
- Any second now.
- Believe it when I see it.
1365
01:04:56,769 --> 01:04:58,479
- ( Screams )
- ( customers gasp )
1366
01:04:58,645 --> 01:05:00,939
Sorry.
1367
01:05:03,317 --> 01:05:05,694
- Ahem.
- Oh shit.
1368
01:05:05,861 --> 01:05:07,404
Connor, hey.
1369
01:05:07,571 --> 01:05:09,656
Mr. Lobo, I just need
a minute of your time
1370
01:05:09,823 --> 01:05:11,200
to talk about why you fired me.
1371
01:05:11,366 --> 01:05:14,787
Connor, please.
I don't know what you're taking about.
1372
01:05:14,953 --> 01:05:17,122
It's okay, I understand.
1373
01:05:17,289 --> 01:05:19,041
I mean, you cast me
to play a big-nosed cop
1374
01:05:19,208 --> 01:05:21,376
and I got a nose job.
It was stupid.
1375
01:05:21,543 --> 01:05:23,337
I didn't even know
you had a nose job.
1376
01:05:23,504 --> 01:05:25,380
Looks pretty good though.
Turn your head that way.
1377
01:05:25,547 --> 01:05:27,382
Yeah. Who's your doctor?
1378
01:05:27,549 --> 01:05:29,802
I've got a 12-year old daughter
with a fucking beak.
1379
01:05:29,968 --> 01:05:32,638
She's got bean bag tits
and a big caboose too.
1380
01:05:32,805 --> 01:05:35,015
That poor girl's gonna have
a hard road ahead.
1381
01:05:35,182 --> 01:05:36,975
Mr. Lobo, I know I made a mistake.
1382
01:05:37,142 --> 01:05:40,062
Look, kid, I didn't fire you
for having a small nose.
1383
01:05:40,229 --> 01:05:43,107
Mr. Lobo, I am not gonna
turn you in to the nose police.
1384
01:05:43,273 --> 01:05:45,067
You kill me, man.
1385
01:05:45,234 --> 01:05:48,028
It was hard
growing up with that nose.
1386
01:05:48,195 --> 01:05:51,031
You are a real fucking moron,
you know that?
1387
01:05:51,198 --> 01:05:53,742
- What?
- You read the script, didn't you, shithead?
1388
01:05:53,909 --> 01:05:57,204
It's all nose jokes.
"I've been nosing around. I smell a rat."”
1389
01:05:57,371 --> 01:05:59,581
And then you show up
with that little cat nose.
1390
01:05:59,748 --> 01:06:01,375
Doesn't make any sense.
1391
01:06:01,542 --> 01:06:03,961
Do you realize how hard it is
to rewrite an entire season?
1392
01:06:04,128 --> 01:06:06,713
- No, sir.
- You were a kid with a big nose.
1393
01:06:06,880 --> 01:06:09,007
You got on TV
but you fucked it up.
1394
01:06:09,174 --> 01:06:12,052
You. Who?
You fucked it up.
1395
01:06:14,054 --> 01:06:16,390
Look, Mr. Lobo, I found out
about this place
1396
01:06:16,557 --> 01:06:18,684
that does nose enlargements.
1397
01:06:18,851 --> 01:06:22,187
And if all goes well I could actually
have the money to do it by tomorrow.
1398
01:06:22,354 --> 01:06:23,647
Oh.
( laughs )
1399
01:06:23,814 --> 01:06:27,734
The new honker is gonna
be a goddamn fire hose.
1400
01:06:27,901 --> 01:06:29,403
What are we supposed to do?
1401
01:06:29,570 --> 01:06:33,824
Bring back Detective Shep Winford
from the dead with a big nose?
1402
01:06:33,991 --> 01:06:35,868
This isn't fucking "X Files."
1403
01:06:39,746 --> 01:06:41,123
Goodbye.
1404
01:06:41,290 --> 01:06:43,041
( Sighs)
1405
01:06:43,208 --> 01:06:46,753
Rich: So you didn't donkey punch
Morgan Fairchild.
1406
01:06:46,920 --> 01:06:49,047
Oh, Jesus Christ.
1407
01:06:49,214 --> 01:06:51,383
( Whistles )
1408
01:06:59,641 --> 01:07:03,604
Hey, wasn't I in last place
an hour ago?
1409
01:07:03,770 --> 01:07:05,105
Yes, you were.
1410
01:07:05,272 --> 01:07:08,025
- Was Zongo here?
- Oh, Zongo was here all right.
1411
01:07:08,192 --> 01:07:10,569
Sold 18 entrees
to a party of six.
1412
01:07:10,736 --> 01:07:13,071
I don't remember any of that.
1413
01:07:13,238 --> 01:07:14,448
Not even the Champ
offering 10 grand?
1414
01:07:14,615 --> 01:07:17,618
- 10 grand for what?
- Top seller.
1415
01:07:22,998 --> 01:07:26,084
Fucking dodo bird.
1416
01:07:31,798 --> 01:07:33,634
( Straining )
1417
01:07:36,136 --> 01:07:37,930
( Door shuts )
1418
01:07:42,309 --> 01:07:45,062
( Gagging )
1419
01:07:45,229 --> 01:07:47,231
- Nuts?
- ( laughing )
1420
01:07:47,397 --> 01:07:49,316
Are you okay?
1421
01:07:49,483 --> 01:07:52,778
I am Zongo.
1422
01:07:52,945 --> 01:07:54,571
Ugh.
1423
01:07:54,738 --> 01:07:56,573
I am still going to win this contest
1424
01:07:56,740 --> 01:07:59,117
because I can hold it together
under pressure.
1425
01:07:59,284 --> 01:08:01,787
Welcome to the Slammin' Salmon.
1426
01:08:01,954 --> 01:08:03,705
Be graceful and amazing
1427
01:08:03,872 --> 01:08:05,832
"cause that's what I am.
1428
01:08:08,627 --> 01:08:10,712
- Donnie?
- ( whimpers )
1429
01:08:10,879 --> 01:08:13,590
Who the fuck is Donnie?
1430
01:08:13,757 --> 01:08:16,301
I'm Donnie, Mr. Salmon.
1431
01:08:16,468 --> 01:08:18,971
Good try, Dave.
1432
01:08:20,180 --> 01:08:22,557
No, I'm Dave's twin brother.
1433
01:08:23,642 --> 01:08:25,018
And you know what?
Another thing,
1434
01:08:25,185 --> 01:08:27,396
I don't care how severe
her peanut allergy is.
1435
01:08:27,562 --> 01:08:29,022
Wow!
1436
01:08:29,189 --> 01:08:31,650
Did anybody ever tell you
you guys look exactly alike?
1437
01:08:31,817 --> 01:08:33,235
Every day.
1438
01:08:33,402 --> 01:08:35,696
Is that why you wear the blue lipstick?
1439
01:08:35,862 --> 01:08:37,948
Either way,
I hope you like hospital food.
1440
01:08:38,115 --> 01:08:41,368
No, I was recently a busboy.
1441
01:08:41,535 --> 01:08:44,037
- I wasn't a part of this thing.
- Yeah, you know what?
1442
01:08:44,204 --> 01:08:47,499
Excuses are like assholes.
Everybody's got one,
1443
01:08:47,666 --> 01:08:49,751
but don't nobody want to admit it.
1444
01:08:49,918 --> 01:08:53,213
Now get your ass out of last place
1445
01:08:53,380 --> 01:08:56,466
or I'm gonna use
your spine for a jump rope.
1446
01:09:00,304 --> 01:09:01,805
What the fuck?
1447
01:09:03,223 --> 01:09:06,059
I'd still hit that.
1448
01:09:11,857 --> 01:09:13,734
-I got it.
- Nice.
1449
01:09:15,152 --> 01:09:18,071
Dude, where's the South African
Bing diamond?
1450
01:09:20,741 --> 01:09:22,534
Shit!
1451
01:09:25,787 --> 01:09:28,540
Ladies, hello and welcome
to the Slammin' Salmon tonight.
1452
01:09:28,707 --> 01:09:32,127
Let me tell you about some of the more
delicious things on our menu.
1453
01:09:32,294 --> 01:09:35,339
Uh, we have a boneless fillet of...
1454
01:09:37,841 --> 01:09:40,594
champion--
1455
01:09:40,761 --> 01:09:44,014
Also a very nice black eye--
1456
01:09:46,266 --> 01:09:49,770
Sock-eyed salmon.
It's very nice.
1457
01:09:51,855 --> 01:09:53,940
- ( Heart beating loudly )
- It's sautéed...
1458
01:09:54,107 --> 01:09:55,859
heartbeat...
1459
01:09:56,026 --> 01:09:57,986
( growls )
1460
01:09:58,153 --> 01:10:00,197
He's watching me.
1461
01:10:01,656 --> 01:10:02,908
( Swallows )
1462
01:10:03,075 --> 01:10:05,452
-( Growls )
- ( whimpers )
1463
01:10:05,619 --> 01:10:08,580
( Screams )
1464
01:10:15,462 --> 01:10:16,880
( Groans )
1465
01:10:17,047 --> 01:10:20,300
Little story for you, Dave II,
before you get back to work.
1466
01:10:20,467 --> 01:10:23,845
When I was training
for the Dispute in Beirut,
1467
01:10:24,012 --> 01:10:27,641
I used to run 10 miles a day with
a baby camel strapped to my back.
1468
01:10:29,976 --> 01:10:32,479
So you can understand
how bemusing I find it
1469
01:10:32,646 --> 01:10:34,231
that you're trying
to run away from me.
1470
01:10:34,398 --> 01:10:36,441
I was...
( coughs )
1471
01:10:36,608 --> 01:10:39,277
Don't run. Just take it.
1472
01:10:42,322 --> 01:10:43,698
( laughing )
1473
01:10:43,865 --> 01:10:45,575
Okay, here we go.
Here we go.
1474
01:10:45,742 --> 01:10:47,702
Here's to "CFl Hotlanta"
1475
01:10:47,869 --> 01:10:50,872
and its record 15 Emmy Award
nominations.
1476
01:10:51,039 --> 01:10:52,749
- Yay.
- Hear hear.
1477
01:10:53,750 --> 01:10:54,835
Oh.
1478
01:10:55,001 --> 01:10:56,878
Connor.
1479
01:10:57,045 --> 01:10:58,713
Come here.
Come here a second.
1480
01:10:58,880 --> 01:11:01,842
Come here.
Come here.
1481
01:11:03,593 --> 01:11:06,346
Hey, buddy, we couldn't have done it
without you, man.
1482
01:11:06,513 --> 01:11:08,598
- Hear hear.
- Hear hear.
1483
01:11:08,765 --> 01:11:10,434
Thanks a million.
1484
01:11:10,600 --> 01:11:13,061
Oh, Connor, have you met
our newest cast member?
1485
01:11:13,228 --> 01:11:14,729
This is Steve Lemmaduche.
1486
01:11:16,356 --> 01:11:17,941
Hey, buddy.
What's cracking'?
1487
01:11:18,108 --> 01:11:20,193
Call me Duche.
1488
01:11:21,778 --> 01:11:24,114
Hey, what are those guys
eating over there?
1489
01:11:24,281 --> 01:11:27,284
Over there?
That's the salmon.
1490
01:11:27,451 --> 01:11:29,035
( Inhales )
1491
01:11:29,202 --> 01:11:31,413
Oh yeah.
That smells beautiful.
1492
01:11:31,580 --> 01:11:33,123
Hustle me out one of those.
1493
01:11:33,290 --> 01:11:35,750
And a chocotini, dry.
1494
01:11:35,917 --> 01:11:37,169
Thanks, pal.
1495
01:11:37,335 --> 01:11:38,628
The Duche.
1496
01:11:38,795 --> 01:11:40,630
Connor.
1497
01:11:40,797 --> 01:11:44,301
Look, I just know you're gonna
find another show really soon.
1498
01:11:44,468 --> 01:11:46,470
Thank you, Morgan.
1499
01:11:46,636 --> 01:11:50,557
And that being said, I also know
that I ordered my ahi tuna seared,
1500
01:11:50,724 --> 01:11:53,101
and, baby, this is not seared.
1501
01:11:53,268 --> 01:11:56,229
I'll get that right back to you.
1502
01:11:56,396 --> 01:11:58,440
Thank you.
1503
01:12:01,860 --> 01:12:04,779
( Donnie crying )
1504
01:12:06,656 --> 01:12:10,118
Donnie?
What are you doing?
1505
01:12:12,454 --> 01:12:13,663
Are you crying?
1506
01:12:13,830 --> 01:12:15,790
No.
1507
01:12:16,791 --> 01:12:19,920
What is that?
It's not coming off.
1508
01:12:20,086 --> 01:12:21,880
The Champ is gonna kill me.
1509
01:12:22,047 --> 01:12:23,965
There's no way I can get
out of last place.
1510
01:12:24,132 --> 01:12:25,759
Donnie, he's not gonna kill you.
1511
01:12:25,926 --> 01:12:28,845
Didn't you hear?
Last place is a broken rib sandwich.
1512
01:12:29,012 --> 01:12:32,349
You see? Breaking your ribs
won't kill you.
1513
01:12:34,434 --> 01:12:37,229
Okay, Look, Donnie, why don't you
take one of my tables?
1514
01:12:37,395 --> 01:12:39,272
The McNaultys.
They're great tippers
1515
01:12:39,439 --> 01:12:41,858
and they've got a huge check.
My gift to you.
1516
01:12:42,025 --> 01:12:43,818
Shut up.
You need that money for school.
1517
01:12:43,985 --> 01:12:46,446
Nutella's check is over $1000.
1518
01:12:46,613 --> 01:12:48,782
Once I close her out,
I'm gonna shoot past everyone.
1519
01:12:48,949 --> 01:12:50,867
Take the table.
1520
01:12:51,034 --> 01:12:53,411
- Really?
- Yeah.
1521
01:12:53,578 --> 01:12:56,831
- How would I pay you back?
- I don't know.
1522
01:12:56,998 --> 01:13:00,168
Take me out for a broken rib
sandwich sometime.
1523
01:13:00,335 --> 01:13:02,712
( Chuckles )
Help me up.
1524
01:13:02,879 --> 01:13:04,339
Come on, you lush.
1525
01:13:04,506 --> 01:13:06,424
( Harp playing )
1526
01:13:09,469 --> 01:13:11,638
Welcome to the Slammin' Salmon.
1527
01:13:11,805 --> 01:13:13,223
My name is Zongo.
1528
01:13:13,390 --> 01:13:15,892
How is everyone feline this evening?
1529
01:13:16,059 --> 01:13:17,310
( Meowing )
1530
01:13:17,477 --> 01:13:20,814
The '62 salmon is "perfect.”
1531
01:13:20,981 --> 01:13:24,150
Would anybody like to try?
( giggles )
1532
01:13:24,317 --> 01:13:27,195
Oh, yes.
Everybody take a sip.
1533
01:13:27,362 --> 01:13:29,239
Mmm, delicious.
1534
01:13:29,406 --> 01:13:32,409
How about you, ma'am?
How does that taste?
1535
01:13:32,576 --> 01:13:34,995
How does that taste?
How does that taste?
1536
01:13:35,161 --> 01:13:36,663
How does that taste?
1537
01:13:36,830 --> 01:13:39,165
How does that taste?
How does that taste?
1538
01:13:39,332 --> 01:13:41,626
How does that taste?
How does it taste?
1539
01:13:41,793 --> 01:13:43,795
How does it taste?
How does that taste?
1540
01:13:43,962 --> 01:13:46,172
How does it taste?
( grunts)
1541
01:13:50,677 --> 01:13:52,178
( Screams )
Ow!
1542
01:13:52,345 --> 01:13:54,514
- (farts )
- ( diamond dings )
1543
01:13:54,681 --> 01:13:58,018
Definitely the hardest
substance known to man.
1544
01:13:58,184 --> 01:14:00,270
Mmm! Mmm!
1545
01:14:00,437 --> 01:14:03,106
Mmm, so good.
1546
01:14:03,273 --> 01:14:05,150
Mmm.
1547
01:14:05,317 --> 01:14:08,445
Mmm. Mmm.
1548
01:14:08,612 --> 01:14:10,780
( Crunches )
1549
01:14:15,160 --> 01:14:16,494
Oh my God.
1550
01:14:16,661 --> 01:14:19,414
- Oh, I love it.
- I'm glad you like it.
1551
01:14:19,581 --> 01:14:21,207
Yes.
1552
01:14:21,374 --> 01:14:23,460
Yes, I'll marry you.
1553
01:14:29,174 --> 01:14:32,594
- I love you so much.
- I love you too, baby.
1554
01:14:32,761 --> 01:14:34,638
- Tara, Tara, Tara.
- What?
1555
01:14:34,804 --> 01:14:36,056
Can you go check on Nuts, please?
1556
01:14:36,222 --> 01:14:37,599
Why do I have to do it?
Rich, I'm slammed.
1557
01:14:37,766 --> 01:14:39,100
'Cause you're a doctor, come on.
1558
01:14:39,267 --> 01:14:41,394
I'm not even close to being a doctor.
I'm a second-year med student.
1559
01:14:41,561 --> 01:14:43,063
I'm making half of this shit up.
1560
01:14:43,229 --> 01:14:45,106
Come on, isn't it part
of your Hippocrastic Oath?
1561
01:14:45,273 --> 01:14:47,984
Hippo what?
Look, don't put this on me, okay?
1562
01:14:48,151 --> 01:14:50,153
He got punched out
by that gigantic mongoloid
1563
01:14:50,320 --> 01:14:52,072
because you
denied him his medication.
1564
01:14:52,238 --> 01:14:55,408
You sold him out just like you sold out
Mia and that poor kid Donnie.
1565
01:14:55,575 --> 01:14:57,827
And all because you're afraid of Cleon.
1566
01:14:57,994 --> 01:15:00,163
God, you're a real
spineless pussy, Rich.
1567
01:15:02,415 --> 01:15:05,502
Hey, three of them.
1568
01:15:05,669 --> 01:15:07,045
Oh, Jesus.
1569
01:15:07,212 --> 01:15:08,963
Look at these babies.
1570
01:15:09,130 --> 01:15:12,217
- Honey, hi.
- Hey.
1571
01:15:12,384 --> 01:15:13,593
What are you doing here?
1572
01:15:13,760 --> 01:15:16,554
Well, the kids couldn't sleep
so I thought we'd pop in and say hi.
1573
01:15:16,721 --> 01:15:19,432
Mrs. Rich Parente in the house.
1574
01:15:19,599 --> 01:15:20,892
- Hey, Champ.
- Hey.
1575
01:15:21,059 --> 01:15:23,937
Oh, Cleon.
1576
01:15:24,104 --> 01:15:27,107
I don't mean to be mean,
but, baby, you need some Listerine.
1577
01:15:29,067 --> 01:15:31,736
That's my little sister.
Always tells it like it is.
1578
01:15:31,903 --> 01:15:34,406
( laughs )
Oh, look at the little babies.
1579
01:15:34,572 --> 01:15:36,700
Hey, it's Uncle Cleon.
1580
01:15:36,866 --> 01:15:38,993
Damn, they all look the same.
1581
01:15:39,160 --> 01:15:41,705
What'd you do,
fuck a Xerox machine?
1582
01:15:41,871 --> 01:15:44,374
Watch your goddamn mouth
in front of my kids.
1583
01:15:44,541 --> 01:15:46,668
- It's Uncle Cleon. Watch it.
- No no, not too close.
1584
01:15:46,835 --> 01:15:49,295
- Okay, easy now. Okay.
- Keep your guard up.
1585
01:15:49,462 --> 01:15:52,340
How the hell did you wind up
with the Champ's sister?
1586
01:15:52,507 --> 01:15:54,676
Well, believe it or not,
1587
01:15:54,843 --> 01:15:57,095
the Champ introduced us
and we fell in love
1588
01:15:57,262 --> 01:16:00,557
and had these babies.
And here we are.
1589
01:16:00,724 --> 01:16:04,060
When I first was made aware
of Richardo here,
1590
01:16:04,227 --> 01:16:06,646
he cracked his head open
running out of my office.
1591
01:16:06,813 --> 01:16:09,065
And I thought right away,
this guy
1592
01:16:09,232 --> 01:16:11,693
- is such a pussy.
- ( guests murmuring )
1593
01:16:11,860 --> 01:16:13,820
I knew he was such a pussy
1594
01:16:13,987 --> 01:16:16,656
that he would never
ever cheat on my sister.
1595
01:16:16,823 --> 01:16:18,616
No, I'm serious.
1596
01:16:18,783 --> 01:16:20,827
You want to know what
my nickname for him was?
1597
01:16:20,994 --> 01:16:23,371
Cunty McTwat.
1598
01:16:23,538 --> 01:16:25,081
'Cause he was such a pussy.
1599
01:16:25,248 --> 01:16:27,792
( laughing )
1600
01:16:27,959 --> 01:16:30,879
Why isn't anybody laughing?
1601
01:16:31,045 --> 01:16:33,339
- That's amazing.
- Cleon: Hey, babies, yes.
1602
01:16:33,506 --> 01:16:35,216
- The middle one has your head.
- ( baby crying )
1603
01:16:35,383 --> 01:16:36,801
Don't touch-- no no no.
Okay.
1604
01:16:39,012 --> 01:16:40,680
Rich: Okay, we've got
some movement, you guys.
1605
01:16:40,847 --> 01:16:43,057
Oh!
1606
01:16:43,224 --> 01:16:45,018
This is bullshit!
1607
01:16:45,185 --> 01:16:48,438
You gave Donnie
all of Nuts's huge tables.
1608
01:16:48,605 --> 01:16:49,898
Guy, it's anyone's game still, all right?
1609
01:16:50,064 --> 01:16:52,275
There's only 250 bucks
separating first and last.
1610
01:16:52,442 --> 01:16:54,277
- It's anyone's game.
- That's awesome.
1611
01:16:54,444 --> 01:16:56,070
You better not be lying,
'cause I will cut you.
1612
01:16:56,237 --> 01:16:58,615
All right, one hour left.
Go get "em, guys, all right?
1613
01:16:58,782 --> 01:17:01,075
- Okay okay.
- Mia Mia Mia.
1614
01:17:01,242 --> 01:17:02,869
I just sat the last table.
You got "em.
1615
01:17:03,036 --> 01:17:06,372
It's the Miami Dolphin's offensive line
and they're starving.
1616
01:17:06,539 --> 01:17:09,667
Good luck.
Sorry, but, you know...
1617
01:17:09,834 --> 01:17:11,336
This is so not over.
1618
01:17:11,503 --> 01:17:14,923
- You're gonna burn, baby.
- I'm not losing this thing.
1619
01:17:15,089 --> 01:17:16,549
I'm not losing this thing.
1620
01:17:17,675 --> 01:17:19,219
All right, if you ladies are like me,
1621
01:17:19,385 --> 01:17:21,054
you can eat a shitload of lobster.
1622
01:17:21,221 --> 01:17:24,098
I am not leaving
until you people are heaving.
1623
01:17:24,265 --> 01:17:27,268
So that's four orders
of the Alaskan king crab legs.
1624
01:17:28,812 --> 01:17:31,481
Eat it, fuck nut.
1625
01:17:35,985 --> 01:17:37,529
Hey, how are you?
1626
01:17:37,695 --> 01:17:39,823
I couldn't help but overhear
you ordered the king crab.
1627
01:17:39,989 --> 01:17:42,951
Well, we came in here dead set
on the San Francisco cioppino,
1628
01:17:43,117 --> 01:17:46,955
but that young lad made those
king crab legs sound irresistible.
1629
01:17:47,121 --> 01:17:49,249
It's just that you look like good people.
1630
01:17:49,415 --> 01:17:52,252
And the chef asked us not
to sell the king crab
1631
01:17:52,418 --> 01:17:55,713
because it's a week old.
1632
01:17:55,880 --> 01:17:59,342
Why would that waiter recommend
something that's turned?
1633
01:17:59,509 --> 01:18:01,678
It's one of the most expensive
items on the menu.
1634
01:18:01,845 --> 01:18:05,181
You can figure it out.
But please, you didn't hear it from me.
1635
01:18:05,348 --> 01:18:07,976
My name is Guy.
1636
01:18:08,142 --> 01:18:11,271
I like him more.
That's the man I trust.
1637
01:18:14,023 --> 01:18:17,777
Hi, guys.
Welcome to the Slammin' Salmon.
1638
01:18:17,944 --> 01:18:20,113
My name is Mia
and I'll be your waitress.
1639
01:18:20,280 --> 01:18:22,615
I apologize for my appearance,
1640
01:18:22,782 --> 01:18:25,118
but I was in an explosion.
1641
01:18:25,285 --> 01:18:26,911
Is this like Make a Wish Foundation?
1642
01:18:27,078 --> 01:18:28,955
Yes, definitely.
1643
01:18:29,122 --> 01:18:30,665
That's great.
1644
01:18:30,832 --> 01:18:34,210
What a brave lady. I mean,
showing your face in public like this.
1645
01:18:34,377 --> 01:18:36,004
- Thank you.
- Tell you what, Mia,
1646
01:18:36,170 --> 01:18:39,257
we're starving, so would you start
us off with some appetizers?
1647
01:18:39,424 --> 01:18:41,509
Of course.
1648
01:18:41,676 --> 01:18:44,095
We'll take two t-bone steaks.
Two each.
1649
01:18:44,262 --> 01:18:46,848
- Two each.
- Okay.
1650
01:18:47,015 --> 01:18:48,808
Put some calamari on there.
1651
01:18:48,975 --> 01:18:51,269
Good luck on your nose job.
1652
01:18:51,436 --> 01:18:52,854
Thank you, Mr. Lobo.
1653
01:18:53,021 --> 01:18:54,439
Give me a call
when the bandages come off.
1654
01:18:54,606 --> 01:18:57,442
- Okay.
- We're doing "CFl Greek town."
1655
01:18:57,609 --> 01:19:01,070
You might be right for
Detective Stavros Popadropolis.
1656
01:19:01,237 --> 01:19:03,573
- Okay.
- Feel like I'm gonna give birth.
1657
01:19:03,740 --> 01:19:05,033
Thank you, Mr. Lobo.
1658
01:19:05,199 --> 01:19:08,244
Thank you, Connor.
It's so good to see you again.
1659
01:19:08,411 --> 01:19:09,996
Great to see you too, Morgan.
You look terrific.
1660
01:19:10,163 --> 01:19:13,249
- Oh, thank you.
- Hey, man, you're a hell of a waiter.
1661
01:19:13,416 --> 01:19:16,336
Don't quit your day job.
boop.
1662
01:19:16,502 --> 01:19:18,922
Get lost.
1663
01:19:19,088 --> 01:19:22,383
Oh, enjoy not winning
10 grand, sucker.
1664
01:19:22,550 --> 01:19:24,761
Oh, honey, that's so cute.
1665
01:19:24,928 --> 01:19:28,723
But I still have Nutella and, whew,
it is a huge check.
1666
01:19:28,890 --> 01:19:31,017
Don't worry though.
When I'm done with school
1667
01:19:31,184 --> 01:19:33,603
I'll fix your nose for free.
Any shape you want, okay?
1668
01:19:33,770 --> 01:19:36,064
Button nose, cute little clown nose.
1669
01:19:36,230 --> 01:19:39,025
Ooh, a brown nose.
That works well for you.
1670
01:19:44,530 --> 01:19:48,785
And I came in here dead set on
the San Francisco cioppino.
1671
01:19:48,952 --> 01:19:50,828
I'm very sorry, sir.
We will change your order right away.
1672
01:19:50,995 --> 01:19:52,580
- And Guy will be your waiter.
- Donnie: What?
1673
01:19:52,747 --> 01:19:55,249
Donnie, the table is Guy's now.
1674
01:19:55,416 --> 01:19:57,502
No no no.
No, it was--
1675
01:19:57,669 --> 01:20:00,505
- See? I can step up to the plate.
- Finally.
1676
01:20:03,466 --> 01:20:06,344
Some pitchers of beer,
that bucket of jumbo shrimp,
1677
01:20:06,511 --> 01:20:08,054
that spinach artichoke dip,
1678
01:20:08,221 --> 01:20:10,598
and of course that 8-lb lobster
you were talking about.
1679
01:20:10,765 --> 01:20:12,767
- Yes.
- And that should do it.
1680
01:20:12,934 --> 01:20:14,811
( Voice breaking )
Okay.
1681
01:20:14,978 --> 01:20:16,771
Oh, baby girl, what's wrong?
1682
01:20:16,938 --> 01:20:19,565
It's just you guys are so nice.
1683
01:20:19,732 --> 01:20:22,360
And this is my biggest check ever.
1684
01:20:22,527 --> 01:20:25,154
I just really needed this.
1685
01:20:25,321 --> 01:20:27,407
And you're the nicest waitress
we've ever had.
1686
01:20:27,573 --> 01:20:30,868
You know, Mia,
I know you were pretty once.
1687
01:20:31,035 --> 01:20:32,870
Thank you.
1688
01:20:33,037 --> 01:20:35,248
( Blows )
1689
01:20:43,423 --> 01:20:45,675
( Gagging )
That's disgusting.
1690
01:20:47,760 --> 01:20:49,721
I'm gonna be sick.
1691
01:20:52,306 --> 01:20:53,850
( Screams )
1692
01:20:57,854 --> 01:21:01,858
( Sobbing )
I just wanna win.
1693
01:21:05,486 --> 01:21:07,613
And, um, word to your mother.
1694
01:21:07,780 --> 01:21:09,323
All right, girl.
1695
01:21:17,081 --> 01:21:19,792
Nutella, I'm sorry.
This isn't the check that I gave you.
1696
01:21:19,959 --> 01:21:22,795
Yeah it is.
Champ comped us.
1697
01:21:22,962 --> 01:21:25,965
I throw a little knee right there.
1698
01:21:26,132 --> 01:21:29,010
It bends him down.
Bam!
1699
01:21:30,636 --> 01:21:33,556
Well, were you dissatisfied
with the service?
1700
01:21:33,723 --> 01:21:36,267
- You didn't leave a tip.
- Do the math.
1701
01:21:36,434 --> 01:21:39,062
20% of nothing is nothing.
1702
01:21:39,228 --> 01:21:41,606
Come on, y'all.
We outie.
1703
01:21:51,824 --> 01:21:53,701
Shit.
1704
01:22:23,523 --> 01:22:25,066
Here you go.
I didn't want to interrupt.
1705
01:22:25,233 --> 01:22:26,400
Thank you.
1706
01:22:26,567 --> 01:22:28,486
Have you read this?
1707
01:22:28,653 --> 01:22:30,238
Uh, no.
I can't say that I have.
1708
01:22:30,404 --> 01:22:33,157
I did not know anything,
1709
01:22:33,324 --> 01:22:35,535
anything at all till now.
1710
01:22:38,663 --> 01:22:41,082
You remind me
of a young Andrew Bolkonski.
1711
01:22:41,249 --> 01:22:43,793
Oh, thank you.
1712
01:22:43,960 --> 01:22:45,211
No, thank you.
1713
01:22:45,378 --> 01:22:47,046
Thank you.
1714
01:22:57,598 --> 01:22:59,725
Uh...
1715
01:22:59,892 --> 01:23:01,686
I'm sorry, sir.
I think you made a mistake.
1716
01:23:01,853 --> 01:23:03,646
I can't take that much money.
1717
01:23:03,813 --> 01:23:06,607
I didn't make a mistake.
What's your name?
1718
01:23:06,774 --> 01:23:08,901
Donald Kanogi.
1719
01:23:09,068 --> 01:23:11,487
I'm dying, Donald Kanogi.
1720
01:23:12,905 --> 01:23:16,033
My doctor told me
I have a month to live.
1721
01:23:16,200 --> 01:23:19,787
Have you ever heard
of schistophosiasis?
1722
01:23:19,954 --> 01:23:21,539
No, I haven't.
1723
01:23:21,706 --> 01:23:23,166
Well, I've got it.
1724
01:23:23,332 --> 01:23:25,501
- I've got it hard.
- Oh my God.
1725
01:23:25,668 --> 01:23:28,754
All I wanted to do tonight
was to sit quietly,
1726
01:23:28,921 --> 01:23:30,840
have a nice meal,
1727
01:23:31,007 --> 01:23:33,301
read a little Russian
pre-existentialism.
1728
01:23:33,467 --> 01:23:36,679
It was pretty crowded,
but unlike the other waiter,
1729
01:23:36,846 --> 01:23:39,682
you were content to let me
sit here nonetheless.
1730
01:23:39,849 --> 01:23:42,101
And I thank you for that.
1731
01:23:43,311 --> 01:23:45,021
But, sir...
1732
01:23:45,188 --> 01:23:47,315
No, young man,
1733
01:23:47,481 --> 01:23:49,609
you can't take it with you.
1734
01:23:49,775 --> 01:23:52,361
Now if you'll excuse me,
1735
01:23:52,528 --> 01:23:56,240
I've got a lot of living to do
before I die.
1736
01:23:57,825 --> 01:23:59,368
Do svidaniya.
1737
01:24:24,560 --> 01:24:26,562
( Horse whinnies )
1738
01:24:26,729 --> 01:24:27,939
Oh!
1739
01:24:28,105 --> 01:24:31,317
( Siren wails )
1740
01:24:31,484 --> 01:24:33,486
That poor man.
1741
01:24:33,653 --> 01:24:35,988
You know, it really puts things
into perspective.
1742
01:24:36,155 --> 01:24:39,116
Fuck him and the horse
that rode over him.
1743
01:24:39,283 --> 01:24:42,662
That's Guy.
Big heart, big hair.
1744
01:24:42,828 --> 01:24:45,665
That's me. Throw big dick in there,
you got a box trifecta.
1745
01:24:45,831 --> 01:24:48,709
You know what? It's way too late
for that kind of chatter.
1746
01:24:48,876 --> 01:24:50,711
- Heyo, I've got the totals.
- Guy: All right.
1747
01:24:50,878 --> 01:24:53,464
- Who wants to see some results?
- Oh, I do, I do.
1748
01:24:53,631 --> 01:24:56,759
- Oh, yeah.
- Gather round. This is pretty exciting.
1749
01:24:56,926 --> 01:24:59,512
- Gather around, everybody.
- All right.
1750
01:24:59,679 --> 01:25:02,014
- I'm excited.
- Good.
1751
01:25:02,181 --> 01:25:03,641
- Are you guys ready?
- Yes.
1752
01:25:03,808 --> 01:25:06,477
Okay.
First, before I start, let me just say
1753
01:25:06,644 --> 01:25:09,313
- I'm really proud of you guys.
- Thank you.
1754
01:25:09,480 --> 01:25:11,524
Very proud.
I think you did a great job tonight.
1755
01:25:11,691 --> 01:25:13,401
- Thank you.
- Here we go.
1756
01:25:13,567 --> 01:25:16,237
In third place...
1757
01:25:17,822 --> 01:25:20,074
- is the waiter...
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
1758
01:25:20,241 --> 01:25:22,660
- ...who did a good job tonight...
- Say it, you big dog.
1759
01:25:22,827 --> 01:25:26,497
- Come on.
- ...and his name is Nuts.
1760
01:25:26,664 --> 01:25:30,001
- Hey, Nuts.
- In the pickle jar, all right.
1761
01:25:30,167 --> 01:25:31,294
- Great.
- Okay.
1762
01:25:31,460 --> 01:25:32,628
- Bring it.
- Here we go.
1763
01:25:32,795 --> 01:25:35,840
In second place,
and runner up,
1764
01:25:36,007 --> 01:25:39,218
is...
1765
01:25:39,385 --> 01:25:41,304
- Come on.
- Connor.
1766
01:25:41,470 --> 01:25:42,805
What?
Who won?
1767
01:25:42,972 --> 01:25:45,558
Drum roll, please.
Drum roll.
1768
01:25:45,725 --> 01:25:47,893
- ( Banging )
- Great, thank you.
1769
01:25:48,060 --> 01:25:51,522
And the winner of the $10,000 prize
1770
01:25:51,689 --> 01:25:53,691
and the big contest
1771
01:25:53,858 --> 01:25:57,069
tonight is...
1772
01:25:57,236 --> 01:25:59,655
- Oh!
- Tara.
1773
01:25:59,822 --> 01:26:02,325
- Oh my God!
- Honk the goose.
1774
01:26:02,491 --> 01:26:04,410
- What?
- Oh my God, I won?
1775
01:26:04,577 --> 01:26:05,995
How is that even possible?
1776
01:26:06,162 --> 01:26:09,999
Well, the guy who got hit by the horse
gave her a $1,000 tip.
1777
01:26:10,166 --> 01:26:12,543
I had that table.
That's my table.
1778
01:26:13,794 --> 01:26:15,629
Jesus, Donnie.
1779
01:26:15,796 --> 01:26:18,424
You gave me a table,
I gave you a table.
1780
01:26:18,591 --> 01:26:22,136
That is the most selfless thing
anyone has ever done for me.
1781
01:26:22,303 --> 01:26:24,055
Well, when the Champ kills me,
1782
01:26:24,221 --> 01:26:25,973
just see to it I get a decent burial.
1783
01:26:26,140 --> 01:26:27,933
You're not gonna die.
1784
01:26:28,100 --> 01:26:29,727
I'll give you mouth to mouth.
1785
01:26:29,894 --> 01:26:33,105
Stick a sock in it
before I puke.
1786
01:26:34,398 --> 01:26:36,692
Richardo.
It's time.
1787
01:26:36,859 --> 01:26:40,488
All right, if you guys will excuse me
for one second...
1788
01:26:40,654 --> 01:26:41,864
All right, baby,
1789
01:26:42,031 --> 01:26:44,742
what is the final take?
1790
01:26:44,909 --> 01:26:47,870
Am I sitting in the lap
of luxury or what?
1791
01:26:48,037 --> 01:26:50,164
Well, we made...
1792
01:26:50,331 --> 01:26:52,958
$19,017.
1793
01:26:53,125 --> 01:26:54,710
Wow.
1794
01:26:54,877 --> 01:26:57,588
$19,017.
1795
01:26:57,755 --> 01:26:58,964
Pretty good.
1796
01:26:59,131 --> 01:27:01,801
But last time I checked,
1797
01:27:01,967 --> 01:27:05,638
19 is lower than 20, right?
1798
01:27:06,847 --> 01:27:09,392
That makes you a grand short,
short shorts.
1799
01:27:09,558 --> 01:27:11,143
( Sighs)
1800
01:27:11,310 --> 01:27:13,437
What's that?
1801
01:27:13,604 --> 01:27:15,523
- The waiter's tips.
- Problem solved.
1802
01:27:15,689 --> 01:27:18,401
I'll just take a grand out of that then.
1803
01:27:18,567 --> 01:27:20,152
No no no, hold on.
1804
01:27:20,319 --> 01:27:22,405
Excuse me, Champ.
About the 10 grand.
1805
01:27:22,571 --> 01:27:24,615
- Not now, Tara.
- The what?
1806
01:27:24,782 --> 01:27:25,950
The $10,000.
1807
01:27:26,117 --> 01:27:28,160
Oh, there is no $10,000.
1808
01:27:28,327 --> 01:27:30,830
That was all predicated
on an illusion.
1809
01:27:30,996 --> 01:27:32,998
I don't understand.
1810
01:27:33,165 --> 01:27:36,836
Okay, I'll break it down.
If I needed to make 20 tonight,
1811
01:27:37,002 --> 01:27:40,506
why would I give away 10?
That makes no sense.
1812
01:27:40,673 --> 01:27:42,466
Right, Rich?
1813
01:27:42,633 --> 01:27:44,510
Right.
1814
01:27:44,677 --> 01:27:45,928
Thank you.
1815
01:27:46,095 --> 01:27:48,013
Adieu.
1816
01:27:54,186 --> 01:27:56,981
Champ.
1817
01:27:58,983 --> 01:28:01,026
This money belongs to the waiters.
1818
01:28:01,193 --> 01:28:03,070
And you owe Tara $10,000.
1819
01:28:03,237 --> 01:28:04,530
Whoa.
1820
01:28:04,697 --> 01:28:07,199
What the hell
is wrong with you, Richardo?
1821
01:28:07,366 --> 01:28:09,827
You offered a prize
and now you owe her.
1822
01:28:09,994 --> 01:28:12,788
You want to make something of it?
1823
01:28:16,333 --> 01:28:18,127
Yeah, I do.
1824
01:28:18,294 --> 01:28:21,130
Just do what you promised,
you motherfucker.
1825
01:28:21,297 --> 01:28:23,591
- Oh!
- What?
1826
01:28:25,426 --> 01:28:27,553
Well well well,
1827
01:28:27,720 --> 01:28:29,930
looks like somebody's little acorns
1828
01:28:30,097 --> 01:28:31,849
done grew into big nuts.
1829
01:28:32,016 --> 01:28:34,226
You're finally acting like a man.
1830
01:28:34,393 --> 01:28:36,479
But you're too little too late.
1831
01:28:36,645 --> 01:28:38,731
I still got to pay
the Yakuza
1832
01:28:38,898 --> 01:28:40,649
20,000 yen.
1833
01:28:40,816 --> 01:28:43,360
Wait, yen or dollars?
1834
01:28:43,527 --> 01:28:45,571
Same thing, stupid.
1835
01:28:45,738 --> 01:28:47,907
Yen is Japanese for dollars.
1836
01:28:48,073 --> 01:28:49,992
Oh.
1837
01:28:50,159 --> 01:28:51,911
Actually, Champ, 20,000 yen
1838
01:28:52,077 --> 01:28:55,456
is about
170 American dollars.
1839
01:28:55,623 --> 01:28:58,542
Ah-so.
1840
01:28:59,627 --> 01:29:02,796
In circumspection
that makes sense.
1841
01:29:02,963 --> 01:29:05,591
When I was in the Orient
I used to wonder to myself
1842
01:29:05,758 --> 01:29:07,927
why is everything so small
1843
01:29:08,093 --> 01:29:11,180
yet so expensive?
1844
01:29:11,347 --> 01:29:13,224
Good work, Dr. Doolittle.
1845
01:29:14,225 --> 01:29:16,352
170 for me.
1846
01:29:16,519 --> 01:29:18,270
10 grand for you.
1847
01:29:20,231 --> 01:29:22,191
What do you think I should
do with the rest of it?
1848
01:29:22,358 --> 01:29:23,943
I think you should
give it to the waiters.
1849
01:29:24,109 --> 01:29:27,029
- I think they earned it.
- Cleon: Yeah, I guess so.
1850
01:29:27,196 --> 01:29:30,699
I was wrong to think they
could be replaced by robots.
1851
01:29:30,866 --> 01:29:33,035
- (giggles)
- Nice one, Rich.
1852
01:29:33,202 --> 01:29:35,412
Feed, my pretties, feed.
1853
01:29:35,579 --> 01:29:37,498
( laughs )
1854
01:29:37,665 --> 01:29:40,000
- ( Screaming )
- Oh my God!
1855
01:29:44,380 --> 01:29:46,257
( laughing )
1856
01:29:48,133 --> 01:29:49,635
Money money money!
1857
01:29:49,802 --> 01:29:51,554
Oh God.
1858
01:29:51,720 --> 01:29:54,098
Wow, Rich.
1859
01:29:54,265 --> 01:29:57,101
- That was legendary.
- Thank you.
1860
01:30:03,482 --> 01:30:07,152
Well, I guess I should thank you
properly for what you did.
1861
01:30:10,656 --> 01:30:11,991
Aw!
1862
01:30:12,157 --> 01:30:13,909
That's so nice.
1863
01:30:43,606 --> 01:30:45,899
- ( laughing )
- Whoa. Oh, just--
1864
01:30:46,066 --> 01:30:48,569
Okay, oh oh oh.
1865
01:30:48,736 --> 01:30:51,739
Okay okay,
what the fuck, Donnie?
1866
01:30:51,905 --> 01:30:53,365
( laughing )
You see that, Donnie?
1867
01:30:53,532 --> 01:30:55,659
That's how you kiss a girl,
you fucking fruit cake.
1868
01:30:55,826 --> 01:30:58,954
( Sobbing )
I hate you.
1869
01:30:59,121 --> 01:31:01,040
- Nice going, dog.
- ( Dave laughing )
1870
01:31:01,206 --> 01:31:03,083
(gags)
Oh, God.
1871
01:31:03,250 --> 01:31:05,127
It tastes like tartar sauce.
1872
01:31:05,294 --> 01:31:07,171
Wait wait wait wait.
Hold on.
1873
01:31:07,338 --> 01:31:09,465
I almost forgot.
1874
01:31:09,632 --> 01:31:13,052
I still got to kick the shit
out of the low man.
1875
01:31:13,218 --> 01:31:15,721
- ( Whines )
- Is he fucking serious?
1876
01:31:15,888 --> 01:31:17,181
Oh God.
1877
01:31:18,390 --> 01:31:20,392
( laughing )
1878
01:31:20,559 --> 01:31:23,103
Why are you hitting yourself?
Why are you hitting yourself, huh?
1879
01:31:23,270 --> 01:31:25,230
Why are you hitting yourself?
Why are you hitting yourself?
1880
01:31:25,397 --> 01:31:28,400
Why are you hitting yourself?
Have you gone crazy, huh?
1881
01:31:28,567 --> 01:31:29,902
Are you crazy, man?
1882
01:31:30,069 --> 01:31:31,737
All right, come on.
Let's get this over with.
1883
01:31:31,904 --> 01:31:33,822
I've got to get home and watch
"Dancing with the Stars."
1884
01:31:33,989 --> 01:31:35,532
Nick Lachey is doing the jitterbug.
1885
01:31:35,699 --> 01:31:36,825
He's good.
Have you ever seen him?
1886
01:31:36,992 --> 01:31:38,494
- No no.
- You've got your guards up.
1887
01:31:38,661 --> 01:31:40,329
- You want to fight?
- You're just kidding, right, Champ?
1888
01:31:40,496 --> 01:31:43,582
Don't be so scared.
You should learn to control your fears.
1889
01:31:43,749 --> 01:31:45,751
Take me for instance.
I'm afraid of the dark.
1890
01:31:45,918 --> 01:31:48,045
But you'd never know it
'cause I have mental discipline.
1891
01:31:48,212 --> 01:31:50,673
You know what I'm saying?
I don't even use a nightlight no more.
1892
01:31:50,839 --> 01:31:53,425
- Okay okay.
- Whoa whoa, what's up?
1893
01:31:53,592 --> 01:31:55,135
What? What's up?
What's up?
1894
01:31:55,302 --> 01:31:59,264
♪ It's the cry of the cougar,
the fist to the face ♪
1895
01:31:59,431 --> 01:31:59,723
♪ No pride or glory for the loser ♪
1896
01:31:59,723 --> 01:32:03,477
♪ No pride or glory for the loser ♪
1897
01:32:03,644 --> 01:32:07,106
♪ There's blood and broken teeth
all over the place ♪
1898
01:32:07,272 --> 01:32:09,108
♪ And the last thing you'll hear ♪
1899
01:32:09,274 --> 01:32:13,237
♪ Is the cry of the cougar ♪
1900
01:32:15,823 --> 01:32:17,616
♪ Lock your doors ♪
1901
01:32:17,783 --> 01:32:20,411
♪ Get off the streets,
I'm on the prowl ♪
1902
01:32:20,577 --> 01:32:23,330
♪ I'm telling you
I'm on the hunt now ♪
1903
01:32:23,497 --> 01:32:25,541
♪ Don't try to stop me ♪
1904
01:32:25,708 --> 01:32:30,295
♪ I smell raw meat and I ain't had
shit to eat for six days ♪
1905
01:32:31,755 --> 01:32:34,967
♪ Who wants a piece?
Who wants a shot? ♪
1906
01:32:35,134 --> 01:32:39,638
♪ Who wants a long and brutal
bloody painful smack down? ♪
1907
01:32:39,805 --> 01:32:43,016
♪ You in the glasses,
I'm talking to you ♪
1908
01:32:43,183 --> 01:32:46,562
♪ How'd you like
my foot up your ass? ♪
1909
01:32:48,981 --> 01:32:50,733
♪ It's the cry of the cougar ♪
1910
01:32:50,899 --> 01:32:52,568
♪ The fist to the face ♪
1911
01:32:52,735 --> 01:32:57,239
♪ I'm gonna shoot you
with my Luger ♪
1912
01:32:57,406 --> 01:33:00,576
♪ There's blood and broken teeth
all over the place ♪
1913
01:33:00,743 --> 01:33:02,494
♪ And the last thing you'll hear ♪
1914
01:33:02,661 --> 01:33:06,582
♪ Is the cry of the cougar ♪
1915
01:33:13,589 --> 01:33:15,340
♪ I've got the speed ♪
1916
01:33:15,507 --> 01:33:17,217
♪ I've got the book ♪
1917
01:33:17,384 --> 01:33:19,219
♪ I'm lean and mean
and swift and tough ♪
1918
01:33:19,386 --> 01:33:21,305
♪ And big and fast, yeah ♪
1919
01:33:21,472 --> 01:33:23,223
♪ It's like if a ninja man ♪
1920
01:33:23,390 --> 01:33:24,808
♪ Had sex with the Hulk ♪
1921
01:33:24,975 --> 01:33:28,437
♪ And gave birth to some kind
of crazy ninja Hulk ♪
1922
01:33:28,604 --> 01:33:30,689
♪ It's the cry of the cougar ♪
1923
01:33:30,856 --> 01:33:33,025
♪ The fist to the face ♪
1924
01:33:33,192 --> 01:33:37,196
♪ I'll slash you up
like Freddy Krueger ♪
1925
01:33:37,362 --> 01:33:40,783
♪ There's blood and broken teeth
all over the place ♪
1926
01:33:40,949 --> 01:33:44,119
♪ When your mom finds your body
she'll cry ♪
1927
01:33:44,286 --> 01:33:47,539
♪ The cry of the cougar ♪
1928
01:33:50,000 --> 01:33:53,754
♪ Cry, cougar, cry. ♪
1929
01:33:55,005 --> 01:33:56,548
What's up, noodle dicks?
1930
01:33:56,715 --> 01:33:58,050
That to-do-you--
1931
01:33:58,217 --> 01:33:59,843
( laughs )
1932
01:34:00,010 --> 01:34:02,554
Whoo!
Hey, noodle dicks.
1933
01:34:02,721 --> 01:34:05,182
God damn it.
Come on.
1934
01:34:05,349 --> 01:34:07,392
Whoo!
What's up, noodle dicks?
1935
01:34:07,559 --> 01:34:10,771
That table over there just ordered
two rounds of premium tequila.
1936
01:34:10,938 --> 01:34:12,898
Now you guys--
NOW you guys--
1937
01:34:13,065 --> 01:34:14,942
Shit!
1938
01:34:15,108 --> 01:34:17,319
I missed each and every one of you.
1939
01:34:19,780 --> 01:34:22,282
( laughs )
1940
01:34:22,449 --> 01:34:25,536
I don't like that shit.
I don't like the dark.
1941
01:34:25,702 --> 01:34:28,080
Y'all didn't fucking see "Green Mile"?
1942
01:34:28,247 --> 01:34:29,873
I am afraid of the dark.
1943
01:34:30,040 --> 01:34:32,292
- That's fucked up.
- Cut.
1944
01:34:32,459 --> 01:34:33,794
( laughs )
1945
01:34:33,961 --> 01:34:36,255
Oh my God, that's crazy.
1946
01:34:36,421 --> 01:34:38,131
And I'm Barack Obama.
1947
01:34:38,298 --> 01:34:39,883
And I'm Osama bin Laden.
1948
01:34:40,050 --> 01:34:41,426
And I'm Obama bin Laden.
1949
01:34:41,593 --> 01:34:42,845
And I'm Shaquille O'Neal.
1950
01:34:43,011 --> 01:34:46,265
And I'm Gloria Estefan
from the Miami Sound Machine.
1951
01:34:48,809 --> 01:34:50,936
( laughs )
1952
01:34:51,103 --> 01:34:52,980
I can do it.
I can do it.
1953
01:34:57,317 --> 01:34:59,278
( laughs )
1954
01:35:00,612 --> 01:35:03,031
- Can you do a faster one, please?
- Okay.
1955
01:35:07,619 --> 01:35:10,205
- Cut.
- ( laughs )
1956
01:35:11,248 --> 01:35:13,292
( Vomiting )
1957
01:35:15,752 --> 01:35:18,005
( Crew laughs )
1958
01:35:18,171 --> 01:35:20,090
Good, let's go from the top again.
1959
01:35:20,257 --> 01:35:22,634
Is it gross?
All right, cut.
1960
01:35:22,801 --> 01:35:24,136
Cut cut cut.
1961
01:35:24,303 --> 01:35:25,804
It wasn't gross.
I just thought I'd put it back.
1962
01:35:25,971 --> 01:35:28,307
( Speaking Spanish )
1963
01:35:31,226 --> 01:35:32,811
Well, you know what they say:
1964
01:35:32,978 --> 01:35:34,897
All the good ones are either gay or crazy.
1965
01:35:35,063 --> 01:35:36,648
Or fat. Or gassy.
1966
01:35:36,815 --> 01:35:38,817
Or Dutch. Or uncircumcised.
1967
01:35:38,984 --> 01:35:41,987
- Ew!
- What does that mean?
1968
01:35:42,154 --> 01:35:43,780
Cut!
1969
01:35:43,947 --> 01:35:46,491
And she throws an elbow
across like this.
1970
01:35:46,658 --> 01:35:48,785
So I want to grab her--
I started to do like that.
1971
01:35:48,952 --> 01:35:50,787
Body shot, body shot,
body shot, body shot.
1972
01:35:50,954 --> 01:35:52,164
We were in the clinch like this
1973
01:35:52,331 --> 01:35:54,166
and I started to go,
"Bitch, what the fuck are you doing?"
1974
01:35:54,333 --> 01:35:56,043
So I'm like...
and I'm trying to hit him.
1975
01:35:56,209 --> 01:35:58,128
And we cover up like this
and I'm moving around.
1976
01:35:58,295 --> 01:35:59,713
I'm like, "This dude is--"
1977
01:35:59,880 --> 01:36:01,131
No, don't turn your back.
Stay right here.
1978
01:36:01,298 --> 01:36:03,675
Last week on "Heroes."
1979
01:36:03,842 --> 01:36:06,511
Yeah, cut.
Yes. Very good.
1980
01:36:08,889 --> 01:36:10,015
( Straining )
1981
01:36:10,182 --> 01:36:12,142
( laughs )
1982
01:36:14,394 --> 01:36:16,104
( Farts )
1983
01:36:16,271 --> 01:36:19,107
( laughs )
1984
01:36:20,567 --> 01:36:22,319
( Straining )
1985
01:36:25,155 --> 01:36:26,740
"Cause I'm bored.
1986
01:36:26,907 --> 01:36:29,534
( laughs )
Cut. Cut.
1987
01:36:36,667 --> 01:36:39,753
♪ Ay, mamacita ♪
1988
01:36:39,920 --> 01:36:42,089
♪ Go on and do your thing, yeah ♪
1989
01:36:42,255 --> 01:36:44,049
♪ Go on and do your thing, girl ♪
1990
01:36:44,216 --> 01:36:46,802
♪ Ay, mamacita ♪
1991
01:36:46,969 --> 01:36:49,846
♪ Go on and do your thing, yeah ♪
1992
01:36:51,431 --> 01:36:53,558
( woman speaking Spanish )
1993
01:37:14,788 --> 01:37:16,331
♪ Uh-huh ♪
1994
01:37:22,087 --> 01:37:23,672
♪ Uh-huh ♪
1995
01:37:29,761 --> 01:37:31,346
♪ Uh-huh ♪
1996
01:37:52,617 --> 01:37:55,620
♪ Ay, mamacita ♪
1997
01:37:55,787 --> 01:37:58,290
♪ Go on and do your thing, yeah ♪
1998
01:37:58,457 --> 01:38:00,542
♪ Go on and do your thing, girl ♪
1999
01:38:00,709 --> 01:38:02,878
♪ Ay, mamacita ♪
2000
01:38:03,045 --> 01:38:05,130
♪ Go on and do your thing, yeah ♪
2001
01:38:05,297 --> 01:38:07,132
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
2002
01:38:07,299 --> 01:38:09,301
♪ Ay, mamacita. ♪
2003
01:38:09,468 --> 01:38:12,262
( laughing )
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