Original subtitles

Previously, on "Below Deck Mediterranean"...

I miss you.

Natalya's really gorgeous.

Aussies are my kryptonite.

I don't know if it's just this boat romance

or if it's blossoming into something else.

Three meters, getting closer.

Oh sh**, that's not three meters.

She's gonna hit it, man.

We're gonna hit.

Jesus Christ.

I need to be able to have a bosun to lead a team,

so I'm letting you go.

I get on with Tash like a house on fire.

My asshole burns. My asshole's like...

Storm is stepping in as a provisional bosun.

He's gonna show me what he's got.

It's been a dream of mine to obviously become a bosun.

And then our new deckhand arrives

the first day of charter.

- How you doing? - Nice to see you.

On our last boat, me and Tash, we got together.

She was still with her boyfriend,

but she wanted to be with me.

Mm-hmm.

My exes cheated on me, but it's not right to cheat back.

I feel betrayed.

Now it's making me look like a ***ing idiot.

If you do it again, you're fired.

I want you guys to move cabins now.

I feel like I've betrayed you.

I'm obviously very hurt.

I don't know this person,

I don't recognize him, and we work together constantly.

Hopefully he'll never do this ever again.

*BELOW DECK MEDITERRANEAN* Season 07 Episode 06

Episode Title: "Walkie of Shame" Aired on: August 15, 2022.

I think there might be a cabin swap happening today.

It's happening now.

She's not going to?

So, you... that's what I was gonna say.

So, you guys are gonna swap?

- Yeah. - Okay, cool.

I don't have a choice.

Like, they can't be sleeping together...

like, in the same room.

- No. - Shoot, man.

Anyways, let's bust this out.

All right, buddy.

I did get most of me out.

I think these are all yours.

I don't ever wear these, can I put them somewhere?

I'll find out if someone needs some shoes.

Having to move cabins, it's kind of like a walk of shame.

The whole time of me trying to hide this secret

was because I didn't want it to disrupt the crew,

I didn't want it to cause any drama,

and essentially, it's just made things worse.

I'm gonna take half of my sh** out of my room now.

I feel like it's all over now,

and I feel bad for what I've done,

but I'm super disappointed in myself.

It's a sh** feeling.

So, how are you?

I just have to move on.

I don't know, prove to myself

and to everyone else that I can do this,

regardless of what's happened.

Most importantly to yourself.

Through your darkest times and your happiest moments,

I'm honestly here for you.

Aw.

I'm dead-ass serious about that.

I don't even know where to begin with sh** like this.

Storm, David, Natasha,

let's meet in the crew mess for a preference sheet meeting.

On my way.

- Dave? - Are you okay?

No.

No.

Right, charter number three.

- Yay! - Yes.

Kristina Rosette is a real estate agent

in the Bay Area looking to celebrate

a joint fiftieth birthday party with her cousin, Dina.

Kristina and Dina are requesting a dual birthday celebration

and prefer their cake

to be delivered by a shirtless deckhand.

Hundred percent Mzi.

[sneezes]

For the final night of charter,

the group would like to have a Studio 54 party

with glitter décor.

Yes! So excited for that.

These ladies have a high threshold for adventure

and are aiming to spend as much time

with the water toys as possible.

We're gonna flood the back.

Thank you.

It's gonna be an adventure land for them.

I've never been a bosun before,

but Sandy feels that she can entrust

this provisional title on me.

It's exciting, and it's nerve-wracking.

I will give 250 percent from the moment

I wake up till the moment I go to sleep.

What kind of cake you thinking?

I'll do, like, a three-tier one,

do a massive one, like a wedding cake.

Like a vanilla?

I'll do, like, classic vanilla sponge.

Yeah, they both like vanilla cake.

In the past I've had couples.

I've had two that turned out in a very good way,

and the other 20 were not.

David and Natasha are demonstrating

their professionalism right now.

They're both excellent at their craft,

and they've been doing this a long time.

I think they can do this.

So, let's have an awesome charter tomorrow.

- Yep. - Get a good night's sleep

I've only got, like, 30 more shirts to iron, thank God.

I think that's it.

All right, well, that's everyone's laundry

done for the next year.

Ah!

Did you just say, "Kyle is a Hawaiian?"

Is that your favorite?

- Ah! - Are you ticklish?

How can you have foot massages if you're ticklish?

I've never had good experiences with boyfriends.

So, I have got trust issues,

but with Storm, we're a little bit romantic.

I don't know what's happening, I don't know what's happening.

- A what? - I've got a big day.

No, I said...

[laughing]

Do you wanna hear the waterfalls, babe?

What waterfalls?

It's Niagara Falls, hon.

Oh, so...

Oh sh**, was that your... did I put it in your cupboard?

- Dude, you're good, bro. - Sorry.

Dave's been having a really tough day.

I feel for him.

Granted, I probably would feel different

if I know the whole story.

Even though we might have been off to a rocky start...

No, don't touch me.

Me and Dave are cool.

But now that we're roommates, like, mind your business,

stay clean, don't use Axe deodorizers in the ***ing room.

Turns out I have a little OCD.

Sleep well, mate.

Charter three.

Natalya, Natalya, Tasha.

Can you meet me in the stew pantry?

- Copy that. - Morning, guvna.

Morning, mate.

So, today...

so, I need to sort the flowers,

we'll need to clean the main deck day head.

Okay, I'll do that first.

They're gonna have champagne as their welcome drink,

and then sit for lunch.

Can I do, like, a nautical theme?

We'll grab those hats out, just to start off?

Yes, get the sailor hats on.

All right, I'm gonna start the day head.

Sailor's hat.

Where'd you want me to get now?

Do you wanna just start banging out that laz?

I'm just gonna hit the scuppers quickly.

Cool.

He is not single.

- Hello? - Hello! Hey.

Coming up...

Six meters [garbled radio chatter] stern.

I don't hear Storm.

Three meters to V4 off your...

[garbled transmission]

- Hello? - Hi!

- Hi! - So good to see you.

You, too, how are you?

Good, it's been great to know what you've been up to.

Oh, yeah, so much.

- How've you been? - Good.

Oh, I'm excited to be back, but...

- Yeah. - I'm a bit...

I'm very nervous to be on deck.

I'm back!

I was kind of in two minds after last season.

Like, being promoted to second stew.

I do wanna give you these.

Stop!

I feel like I used to go on boats and be, like,

known as the wild one, the crazy one.

♪ We're here in the galley and we're chillin' with daddy ♪

♪ We've got a lot going on but we're feeling so swaggy ♪

Last season it was so intense,

and I was constantly inside and stressed and never saw daylight.

I definitely feel like a deckhand, like,

fits my personally better than a stew.

Courtney's switching to deck crew.

This is epic!

Getting the call from Sandy to come back,

I'm excited, but I'm, like, super nervous as well.

I'm ready to get to twerk.

Oh, there's Mzi!

- Hi! - Hey!

- How are you? - How are you?

Yeah, not so bad, thank you.

Good!

I love Mzi's face when he sees you.

Can you show me everyone?

- Yeah. - I'm Courtney, hi.

Jason, nice to meet you.

Hi, nice to meet you.

Storm, would you like to meet the new deckhand?

Hi!

Hi, have you got your bags on board?

I'm gonna grab it in a second,

but I just wanted to come on and meet everyone.

Yeah, sure.

Is Storm your real name?

- It is indeed. - That's so cool!

- Lovely to meet you. - Yeah, you too.

I'm so, so stoked to have Courtney back.

Courtney's definitely gonna bring a twerk to the team,

and some good banter, too.

After Lady Michelle, she did come to Cape Town.

We've both come such a long way in terms of

our actual friendship and I've grown even fonder of Court.

[laughing]

I...

No.

I... [laughing]

No.

Hi, I'm Courtney, nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you! - What's your name?

- Tasha. - Tasha...

nice to meet you, Tasha.

How are you? Oh, sorry.

- Dave, nice to meet you. - Courtney, nice to meet you.

- Welcome aboard. - Thank you.

I've just put your uniform on your bed, Courtney.

Oh, thank you so much.

Do you want a tea or coffee?

Yeah, all right.

- Hi! - I'm Natalya.

Hi, Courtney, nice to meet you.

I'm your roomie.

There's Natasha and then Natalya.

- Okay. - So, we're called...

- Natasha and Natalya. - Yeah, Tash and Nat.

Okay, and while you're on board...

- I'm Nat. - No, I know.

Oh, wow... wow, I'm screaming.

- We're both second stews. - Second, yeah.

- Okay, nice. - Yeah.

Deck crew, deck crew, please can you meet me

on the aft deck for a quick meeting?

Copy.

- Hello. - Hello.

- So, welcome to the crew. - Thank you.

For this charter, I did print a new deck schedule.

You will have everything there, it's your hours of watch.

In the evening, we do really try to help out the interior.

Yeah.

Well, you know what that's like.

For this whole charter, like,

if you see thing that are lying around, pick them up.

Just the small things that'll make the biggest difference.

And then I'm sure we'll have a great time.

I'm a very intense person.

I have an enlarged heart.

I was in Sri Lanka in 2019. I was just surfing.

I just felt this, like, crazy drop in my heart,

like, I couldn't breathe properly,

my arm started to go numb.

I had to have surgery, which is cardioversion.

So, they stop your heart and then they restart it.

I was dead for two minutes.

It definitely changed my mindset

to just live as hardcore as I can.

Everything that I'm gonna do now, I'm gonna overdo.

Grab a microfiber, where the scuppers are clean the drains,

just so they walk on and it's beautiful.

- Yeah. - Thanks, guys.

Sure.

I can't wait.

This is gonna be such a fun little table setting.

I've got your hat.

I wish this was actually our uniform.

Hit me, I'll do this side underneath.

Yeah, it's gross.

I'm actually really nervous for, like...

I just need to know how to do the anchor and sh**

No, it's all Gucci.

Provisions, eh?

All crew, all crew, we have provisions.

All right.

Ooh!

- You all right there? - Yeah, yeah.

Yeah?

The Leaning Tower of Pisa.

How is this all gonna fit, Mzi?

It's a bit of a mystery.

Tonight is, like, the big night

for the fiftieth birthday for the primary.

Yas.

Interior, interior, looking fab, well done.

I wish I could say the same for Kyle.

This one drives me insane.

[bleep] These swells are not good.

We have a charter boarding today, and right now,

the dock, the wind's kinda calm.

For the lay person, they have no idea the minute

I turn that corner how big the swells are.

They're massive.

That's not fun for anyone.

So, unfortunately, I can't leave the dock.

All crew, all crew, get into your whites.

Let's meet in the main salon in five minutes.

Oh, they'd make nice booty shorts.

Let's get naked.

Woo!

Okay.

My teeth, babe, it's really sore.

You need to get to a dentist.

Mm, ASAP.

But it's not like I'm dying with pain now.

Like, I'm continuing.

My tooth is actually really painful

because I grind my teeth at night.

I mean, the jawline is fantastic,

but it's, like, really killing me.

All right, so, now, we have a new crew member.

Woohoo!

- You guys have met. - Ooh!

Welcome, Courtney.

Thanks, guys.

All right, anyway,

it's too rough out there to go and anchor.

We're staying on the dock,

so we really gotta pull out all the stops.

All right, awesome, let's line up on the dock.

Are my boobs straight?

Yeah, you look good.

Let me know if one pops out.

Remember what was on the preference sheet.

Dancing naked boys.

- Hi! - Hi.

- Welcome. - Thank you!

- Sandy, nice to meet you. - I'm Kristina, nice to meet you.

- David. - David, nice to meet you.

- Hello, I'm Kyle. - I'm Dina.

Lovely to meet you, Dina.

Welcome to your home away from home.

I can take you on a little tour of the boat, if you like.

- That'd be great. - Yeah?

It is absolutely beautiful.

...Ing hell... two days.

What the hell?

I bet we'll all manage to fit in this hot tub.

Oh, my God, yes.

Try and fish some hot deckhands in there with you.

- Oh! - The more the merrier.

- Can you get the Dyson for me? - Yep.

I just want to buzz inside.

Through here, my favorite room on the boat,

- just because it's so... - It's beautiful.

This is a sister bed for sure.

- Are you sisters? - We're sisters.

- They're sisters. - We're cousins.

And we're cousins.

- Oh! - Wow!

Did you tell them we're sisters too?

- No? - [laughing]

Oh, God, this boat's rocking.

I think I need an anti-nausea pill.

- Can I have all you... - Yes!

Okay, so, if the weather changes, or the seas,

the swell dissipates, I'm off the dock like that.

But see how we're rocking at the dock?

Yeah.

It'll be, like, tenfold out there.

So, now the plan is we're gonna stay on the dock.

Are you kidding?

See how we're rocking at the dock?

Yeah.

It'll be, like, tenfold out there.

So, we're gonna stay on the dock.

Are you kidding?

You would be really seasick if we went out there.

Yeah.

But I'm gonna challenge my crew to entertain you.

How do you feel like an adventure off the boat, like...

- Yeah! - Yes!

With a nice view?

Who would ever say no to that?

Okay, just wanna make sure.

When you're stuck on the dock,

the best thing to do is feed them alcohol.

- I can unpack for master. - Unpack master?

All right.

Just in terms of lunch today,

do you have a certain time that you might like to eat lunch?

Like, 2:00, does that sound good?

Yeah.

So, the plan for today?

So, we just have hands on interior all day.

Yeah.

Just basically go to Tash and Nat

and just ask whatever you can do just to help, yeah.

See what they need? Okay, cool.

You guys can get in your reds.

Can I maybe do a spoon for me?

Yeah.

Have you got a spoon?

Let me take the top of and then you can keep it

and then put it on after.

Oh, yeah, perfect.

Thanks, Dave.

I consider myself lucky that I'm still on board.

Growing up, I was fighting so much,

and my whole life's been about changing.

When I moved away from the UK and went to,

like, the Alps and I was doing ski seasons,

I'm meeting, like, nicer people, I kinda got qualities from them.

So, I'm definitely gonna keep that with me, that gratitude,

and I'm gonna work even harder and support everyone on board.

- Have you two eaten yet? - What's that?

A little avo and focaccia.

Oh, my God, dreamy.

Should we go up on the deck?

Yeah.

It is so beautiful.

- Tash? - Yeah?

Do you want us to stay helping in here, or do you want me...

- Yeah. - To help in the galley, or what?

Maybe see if Natalya needs a hand in the master cabin.

- Yeah? - That would be good.

- Thank you. - No worries.

And then Jason, do you know if Dave needs a hand?

Guys, hold on, I'm gonna take a picture of you guys,

because this is a really pretty background.

- I'm here to help. - Are you?

Yeah.

Dave, anything I can help with?

Well, you can do some dishes if you want, mate.

Yep.

The things going through Dave's head, I just feel bad for him.

He's gotta be a full-time chef for clients

that are expecting the best.

Then you throw in the emotions of him and Tash.

I cannot even fathom how difficult that must be.

I would have jumped off the Goddamn boat.

- Got it? - Super.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

At least there's a lot of wardrobe space.

It's so good.

And, like, the thing is I can fit the luggage

in there as well, so you don't even have to get,

like, the deck boys to take, like...

- Yeah. - Deck... deck girls...

Yeah.

How you going on, though?

Yeah, fine, I mean, because we're not leaving port,

- there's not been much to do. - Yeah.

Everyone knows that, like, deckhands will always

help with interior and interior will always help with deck,

but obviously, I've just come on as a deckhand and,

like, put straight back into cabins.

It is a bit, like, uh...

to be fair, it also kinda makes me appreciate the fact

that I've changed to deck,

because when I am in there, I'm like thank [bleep]

I'm so glad that I'm not doing this full-time.

You're welcome.

Okay, I'll just start on this side.

Can I get any more drinks?

Do you guys have stuff to make dirty martinis?

Of course, so, we're gonna have an extra-dirty, or just...

- I like it dirty. - Like, nasty.

- Yeah, nasty. - Filthy.

Yeah, okay.

Ooh, nice swimmie.

I'll start making the cocktails, then.

Yeah, actually, we've...

So, we start this one with the Belvedere, hey?

- Yeah, yeah, Belvedere. - Okay, Grey Goose, coming up.

Got Grey Goose, we just need some juice.

Tell me the hot goss.

So there's, like, the negative relationship

on board, and then there's, like, the new positive one.

What's the new positive one?

Storm.

Ah!

You guys bang?

No, we haven't yet.

Can we give you some bow ties to make...

Yeah. I can wear the dungarees with no shirt on.

Mm [bleep].

After dinner, yeah?

Mm-hmm, and Dave's gonna do the cake delivery.

- Okay. - Thank you!

Just to ask, how comfortable

are we with, like, semi-nude men?

- Extremely. - Very comfortable.

Are we very?

During lunch, fully nude.

Yeah, okay.

Ooh.

These swells are big.

I haven't got Scooby-Doo on this whole Malta cuisine, mate.

So, I'm flat-out winging it.

Oh, yeah, I saw that on their preference.

It's like, just say fish.

I'll get...

well, I've got local fish here, and so that's a classic.

I've never made traditional Maltese food.

This is a ***ing complete brain block for me.

So, I picked some things that I could manipulate and change.

Took some classic French dishes

and mixed them with some random Maltese dishes.

So, we'll see how that goes.

Okay, I'm ready.

- You ready for lunch? - Let's do it!

Yes.

- Fab. Just make a move down. - Let's do it.

Don't wanna spill my cocktail.

I love this.

The hats are so adorable.

- Thank you so much. - You're so welcome.

Okily-dokily.

Sandy's, like, really adamant to get off the boat.

They wanna tour around Malta.

Just like chaperone them around the town.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I need someone to come and help me.

Yeah, yeah, be there in one minute.

Okay.

There's a golf cart tour.

Sounds rad, we'll go on a golf tour.

So, are we sending a crew member with them round the town?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mzi?

Mzi, pull your pants up!

You know the golf carts opposite the way?

Yeah.

They're gonna go on, like, a little see-tour.

When they walk into the bridge deck salon...

Mm-hmm.

Pink balloons hanging from the roof, with streamers.

- I think pink, red, and white. - Yeah?

So, this is a popular fish round here.

Okay.

I am literally sweating down my butt crack right now.

[phone chimes]

Where are the...

So, just putting on tonight you want me to do...

One second, because this is quite urgent.

This is a local, very popular fish,

very similar to sea bass, but it's called meagre.

Mm, this is delicious.

Oh, my God, this is the best thing I've ever had in my life.

Where's the chief stew, actually?

So, I'm gonna send you with Courtney and Mzi,

and you three are gonna take them through.

- A little expedition? - Yeah.

Gotcha.

What the hell is going on?

Like, I've just going on service I'm doing alone,

and it's ***ing pissing me off.

What do you mean?

Literally, like, I'm up and down the entire ***ing time.

Well, no one's told me anything.

I've literally been asking for help the whole time.

No one has asked me for help.

Like, Tash and you are supposed to be service.

Tash is distracted by no one knows.

I'm already in pain with my teeth.

No one is literally helping me on service,

and then I only have Nat to rely on in interior.

I need to jump into laundry because it is a sh** show.

[bleep] me, this is getting out of control.

Coming up...

I needed two people on service, that's why I need you to go...

Yeah, I know.

I'm a little pissed off.

Are you enjoying your food? Is everything all right?

- It is, yes! - That's good.

So, this evening you are gonna jump on golf carts

and you're gonna go on a little city trip

and have drinks, if that's something that

you'd be interested in, just to get off the boat

and go have a little bit of a walk.

Yeah, yeah.

- Hello? - Hello, Rico.

Going to have a golf cart tour at 6:00 p.m.

I do have a tour guide for you.

- Perfect. - Okay.

Thank you, bye-bye.

Are you gonna change for the tour or whatever?

Let's get ready.

All right, so you got a plan?

So, we're organizing these golf carts

to take them with a guide into town.

- Awesome sauce. - Yeah.

Nat, Nat, Tasha.

Can you help clear the bridge deck aft table?

Copy that.

Oh, la la.

Yeah, I wanna sit down and change, that's all.

Wait, I'll wait...

I'll see you in a few.

Oh, I'm lower.

I don't even know what I'm doing, I'm so disorientated.

You are looking a bit white.

Take a rest.

So, listen, I'm not gonna [bleep] up service.

Can I be in housekeeping tonight, just for tonight?

Yeah, 100 percent.

Hey, look, there's the golf buggy tour.

Okay, I think we might be ready.

- We need shoes? - I would recommend it.

Flip-flops, or cute shoes.

We could just flip-flop it out.

Did you say "flip-flop it out?"

Yeah.

That's what he said!

All right, guys, have a lovely time

and we'll see you when you get back.

All right, thank you.

Is that everyone off now?

Yeah.

How much fun is just decorating sh**?

Hello, ladies, welcome to Malta.

- Hi! - Hello.

So, we are going to do a tour.

You're going to see a little bit

the most historical part of Malta.

Let's take the carts.

Come on, Tina.

- Where do I sit? - We need one over here.

Mzi.

Right-hand side.

Oh, my God.

Driving the golf cart takes me straight

back home to the golf course.

I've been playing since I was seven years old.

Woo!

- Oh! - He hit it.

Does Mzi be hustling people every charter down here?

Golf requires huge amounts of practice.

I think in yachting, like, a lot of the things

that you do in practice, it's like muscle memory.

Let's hope by the end of the season

I can handle a tender like a golf cart.

- Ah! - Whoa!

Oh!

- Should we race? - Yeah, racing.

No!

If you're not first, you're last.

Storm did his schedule, he's got his anchor watches.

It's very good, actually.

That's amazing.

These could be outfits for tonight.

Yes, oh, my God.

Look at that.

Yeah, there's two here.

Why don't we just be twins, perfect.

You know the walls that used be around the city?

When were those built?

In the years 1400.

If you wanna buy a souvenir on Malta...

- I'm not for sale. - Unless...

- Tell us. - No, not him.

Storm, Storm, please come to the bridge, Storm to the bridge.

Copy, on my way.

Hey, so, tomorrow morning the weather gets better, look.

- So, by... - Much better, yeah.

...actually through the night,

we're off the dock at 7:00 a.m., we're throwing our lines.

- Lines, yeah, yeah. - Okay?

- Sounds good. - All right, great, thanks.

Thanks, Cap.

We are going for a fantastic view now.

All right, guys, we are stepping up

and we are going here to the garden.

Oh, this is pretty.

So, here you have a fantastic view.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Over there is Valetta, the capitol of Malta.

This is the smallest capitol of Europe.

Oh!

All right, are you ladies ready?

We're ready to go back on the golf carts.

- Ready to rock and roll? - Yeah.

Let's go.

[phone ringing]

I'm sorry to call you.

My ex is telling me, "Stop beating yourself up,

we can make this work, like, I forgive you."

Kind of makes me feel like why am I not fighting for this?

I don't know what the right thing to do is.

All right, my love, I'll speak to you soon.

All right, bye.

Bye, my love, bye.

Coming up...

Oh!

I thought my stripping days were done.

I'm not cut out for this anymore.

We do have one more surprise for you.

What do you do with that, do you ever touch it?

- [horn honks] - Oh, it's a little horn!

[honking]

Kyle, Kyle, Kyle.

Yes, Tash?

Just go to bed, Kyle, you need to rest.

Okay, let me flip the laundry quickly.

Do not touch the laundry, Kyle, honestly.

Oh, my goodness, those are beautiful!

Mm!

You do look very sexy in that dress.

Oh, my God.

I love throwing a themed party.

That's, like, my specialty.

And I am a bit of a micro manager,

but seeing your vision actually come together,

it's a great feeling.

Like, I live to see the guests' reactions.

So, I'm hoping that they're just gonna be blown away.

Are you actually gonna do it with your mouth?

Yeah.

Show what that mouth do.

[laughing]

- Mm. - Oh, babe.

Are you speaking to rectify

or are you speaking to there's a possibility?

No, like after everything,

he loves and he supports me so much.

He just wants to sort things out.

And how do you feel about that, yes or no?

Honestly, he is, like, a straight version of you.

Like, I've never met anyone that makes me laugh as much.

Going through this whole situation with Dave

that was just awful made me realize I still love my ex.

We're both very similar people, and we both love to party.

Like, our house is just constant parties.

And with him, I can be happy, I can be me.

I never wanted to hurt him,

I just guess I let things get out of control.

I do like to run away from problems a lot.

Yeah.

But anyway, go to sleep.

I'm getting ready, I'm not gonna bore you.

- Good night, love you. - All right, I love you.

And we're home.

Here we are.

Made it back in one piece.

The guests are back.

- You enjoyed it? - So fun.

Drinks, welcome drinks.

There you go.

Oh, my God, I'm so excited.

Wait, so should we change into dinner clothes?

Can you grab me another straw?

Thank you so much, Storm.

Oh, my God, look at you, Natasha!

Look at your cute sequined dress!

Thank you.

What time is dinner, should we change into dinner stuff?

Any time you'd like, yeah, all right.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

So, for dinner tonight we're doing plated?

With lobster gnocchi, it's plated.

- Okay. - And then dessert is the gateau.

All right, thank you.

You know, I'm so nervous. I've never stripped before.

Storm, what time does this all happen?

After dinner, when Dave takes the cake up.

I don't really know what to do, though.

Does anyone have any tips?

So, I'll start the music and then Mzi can show,

"I'm the captain now."

[laughing]

Ugh!

Who am I gonna steal for stewardessing tonight?

You can steal me.

Aw, thank you.

- Jason, you go down now. - Okay.

And then you sleep for five hours,

and then you're up at 1:00 to 3:00,

and then you go down again.

- Okay, no worries, man. - Okay.

So, what do you wanna plan tonight...

We're a man down, yeah.

You wanna?

I don't care at all.

What do you prefer?

The thing is, I needed two people on service.

That's why I needed...

Yeah, I know but Kyle's obviously down.

If you wanna make some flower... Nat?

What?

I need to speak to you about the cabins.

- I'm a little pissed off. - Yes, I can tell.

For the birthday girls,

we just need to do something nice for them.

So, maybe if you wanna get some vases from under the TV...

Yeah, I'll sort it out.

She's not happy, but with Courtney not knowing the boat

I feel like it's easier if Courtney's with me on service,

just because I can guide her,

whereas if Natalya does the housekeeping,

she can just do it fast and it's done.

I'm the chief stew, and I'm running this operation,

and she needs to listen, that's it.

This is gonna be a very happy birthday.

I need to switch to vodka.

What is going on?

Aw! That's so cool!

It's absolute bullsh**

Coming up...

It's 30 meters [garbled radio chatter] stern.

You know, Storm, you're not coming through on my radio.

Six meters [garbled radio chatter] stern.

I don't hear Storm.

Three meters to V4 off your [garbled radio chatter].

Storm, again, press your mic and then talk.

And actually, you should be on service

because you are such a loud, outspoken bitch.

Thank you.

It's really sh** like, when you ask a crew member

in interior to be setting up a table

and she's done her all-out,

and then to put her in housekeeping

and not see how the guests enjoy her decoration?

Damn.

At one stage I'm, like, glad that she can confide in me.

On the other hand, I'm like,

girl, I feel in pain, I just wanna sleep, you know?

Good night, love you

Please come and visit me again.

I'm actually gonna come dry hump you later.

Were you not feeling the sequin dress?

Oh, yeah, I can go put it on.

I thought I was getting changed

when the boys were getting changed.

- Oh. - But I can go put it on.

Hello!

With everything that's happened between me and Tash,

it's been so difficult.

That's why I'm lucky I have the galley.

It clears my mind completely.

I've got nothing to think about apart from getting the job done.

- Happy birthday! - Woo!

Happy thirty-second!

Forever!

- Looking good, girl! - Wow!

- Woo! - Yeehaw!

God, I hate pink and I hate glitter.

[laughing]

[bleep] this is like my worst nightmare.

It is making us look more professional,

being in the same dress and stuff right now.

But I mean, obviously, starting as a deckhand on a boat,

I don't really want to be in a glittery

pink sparkly dress on my first night.

- We have to perform the... - Yeah, yeah, you'll smash it.

Have you been to the clubs that Mzi's gone to, then?

I'm sure it's not weird.

Can we invite you up to dinner soon?

- Yes, great! - All right.

Let's go.

They should be up at the table.

Oh, look how cute you guys are.

Oh, I love it!

Oh, I can tell, a little casino!

Oh, my God, it's Vegas-themed!

- Aw! - So cute.

Yeah.

Oh, you guys are so cute in your matching sequined outfits.

Still or sparkling water?

Still, please.

If this isn't a representation of my day,

then I don't know what else is.

- Ready, guys? - Nice, mate, this is exquisite.

Ready to lead the way?

Yeah.

You're going to announce it, Dave, eh?

Yeah, I'll come announce it.

Thank you.

- You're welcome. - Good evening, ladies.

All right, I've just got sous vide lobster here.

It's beautiful.

And then we've got some sautéed gnocchi.

- Thank you! - Bon appétit.

Thank you!

The gnocchi is so good.

Oh, my gosh, so good.

I'm in heaven, it is amazing.

What we need to do is get your outfit sorted.

What are we gonna do after dinner?

We are gonna have entertainment tonight.

- You think so? - I do.

Dude, I'm so nervous.

I've never stripped before.

I need a pair of pants.

Wear those.

Or do you wanna wear some of my booty shorts?

Do you have booty shorts?

I've got booty shorts, of course I've got booty shorts.

They're so good.

Here's a skirt, so it'll really flap around there.

I thought my stripping days were done.

Gave a decent Magic Mike performance last year.

Woo!

Oh!

I'm not cut out for this anymore.

I'm packing a serious dad bod.

Nobody wants to see this.

Oh!

[shrieks]

This is amazing.

Strike your pose.

I'm gonna die.

The Naked Chef, literally.

Wow, Dave's shredded, eh?

Okay, we're ready now.

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

- ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ - [cheering]

I feel like my heart's, like, about 130.

Happy birthday, girls.

We do have one more surprise for you.

- Oh! - Woo!

Oh, my God!

[cheering]

Happy birthday!

[laughing]

- Woo! - Happy birthday.

I would be more excited to see Storm strip privately

in my cabin and not for 20 women.

[laughing]

Just saying.

- Thank you! - Happy birthday.

Aw, thank you!

Happy birthday to us!

Okay, now let's take it downstairs,

let's do the real show.

[laughing]

It's time to go down, just go sleep.

We have the vanilla cake with butter crème, enjoy.

Mm. I don't even normally like sweets.

You're down in 10, yeah?

- Yeah. - Cool.

Should we go up to the hot tub?

Meet you guys on the top floor, let's do it.

Right good night.

Good night, Dave.

Are we going jaboozin, or what's happening?

We're jaboozin!

Okay.

[laughing]

Is there a drink holder?

- Is it? - My pectorals.

Oh, my God, I'm ready for bed.

If I pull my shorts up too high then I'll get camel-toe, so...

[laughing]

- Hey, good morning. - How are you?

I see you're ready.

Looks like the weather's cooperating.

Time to go.

Do you still wanna go stern to,

or do you wanna swing your bow over?

Stern-out.

Sure, and then I'll tell the guys...

- Location, distances. - Yeah.

- Location, distances. - All right, cool.

Thanks, Cap.

Deck crew, what's your location?

On the dock.

Okay, so, Courtney, you're gonna be on the bow with Jason.

When you're bringing the spring in, like,

and you single out, get it in as soon as possible.

Yeah, yeah, you have to get it in.

- Yeah. - So, Jason.

When the bow has cleared the dolphins,

you say "clear to swing."

So, you're gonna be on the stern with me.

What did you say about the single-up thing?

- The brace lines will go first. - Yeah.

All crew, we're ready to depart.

We can free up all the lines.

- Bring 'em all in. - Copy that, Captain.

Mzi, please join me on the stern.

All right.

I'm so happy to be back, like, as a deckhand.

And I'm glad that these lines are a lot smaller than

my last boat, because I'm hoping

that it'll be a lot easier now, because these are smaller.

So, you know when you, like, learn

with something harder or bigger...

Captain, that's all lines off the bow.

Right, Captain, that's all lines on deck.

Great! Here we go.

Storm, distances. Storm, distances.

Copy that.

Five meters starboard quarter.

[garbled radio chatter]

Ten meters, starboard quarter.

You know, Storm, you're not coming through on my radio,

so press the mic and then talk.

Thirty meters [garbled radio chatter] quarter.

Hey, Jason, can I swing?

Yeah.

Thirty [garbled radio chatter] meters starboard quarter.

Storm, again, press the mic and then talk.

I do not hear your distances.

Six meters [garbled radio chatter] stern.

I don't hear Storm.

Three meters to V4 off your [garbled radio chatter].

Kick forward. Kick forward.

Storm, can't hear.

Two meters to V4 [garbled radio chatter] quarter.

And Storm, again, press your mic and then talk.

Ugh! We're gonna hit.

One meter... oh!

Next, on "Below Deck Med"...

[cheering]

Yay, they're having fun.

Getting back together

with my ex, Dave is going to be upset.

I don't know what runs through

Dave's head at the best of times.

Something is definitely wrong.

Kyle?

It's, like, literally paining so much.

I need to get him help quickly.

- Seriously, this wind. - Ooh!

Uh-oh.

Carlos, I can't get the stabilizers on.

Oh, not again.

Hang on, everybody.

Hang on, hang on.