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1
00:00:14,089 --> 00:00:16,406
So I'm still killing it
at the car lot.
2
00:00:16,408 --> 00:00:17,574
Same.
3
00:00:17,593 --> 00:00:19,092
Since Shrub can't drive,
I've been helping out
4
00:00:19,094 --> 00:00:21,261
by driving the dirty cars
up for him to clean.
5
00:00:21,263 --> 00:00:23,096
To detail.
I'm a detailer.
6
00:00:23,098 --> 00:00:24,431
I'm honestly surprised
7
00:00:24,433 --> 00:00:26,191
everyone's cool
with Kelly hanging around.
8
00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:28,527
Yes. I am currently
being paid in donuts,
9
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:29,436
but it's cool,
10
00:00:29,588 --> 00:00:31,104
because donuts
turn into energy,
11
00:00:31,106 --> 00:00:33,348
which turns into ideas
to make money.
12
00:00:33,350 --> 00:00:34,366
You know?
13
00:00:34,518 --> 00:00:36,702
For me, it's never
been about working hard.
14
00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:38,162
It's about working smart.
15
00:00:42,101 --> 00:00:44,025
Dude, okay,
they're not mammals.
16
00:00:44,027 --> 00:00:46,027
- Whales lay eggs.
- No--
17
00:00:46,029 --> 00:00:47,212
They're, like,
a delicacy in Japan.
18
00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:48,696
Read a book sometime, for real.
19
00:00:48,698 --> 00:00:49,715
Okay.
20
00:00:51,126 --> 00:00:52,718
Hey, Kelly. Hey, Shrub.
21
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,053
Hey.
22
00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:55,612
Do you guys know
what's going on?
23
00:00:55,614 --> 00:00:58,131
The big "No Credit, Bad Credit"
sales event is coming up.
24
00:00:58,133 --> 00:00:59,950
So the cameras are setting up
25
00:00:59,952 --> 00:01:00,893
for the commercial
shoot tomorrow.
26
00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:02,786
Cool.
27
00:01:02,788 --> 00:01:05,547
Okay, so the Parneys
run these epically chaotic,
28
00:01:05,549 --> 00:01:07,066
terrible, amazing,
29
00:01:07,068 --> 00:01:08,642
like, legendary
horrible commercials.
30
00:01:08,644 --> 00:01:11,570
They're deranged
and perfect; we're obsessed.
31
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:12,738
Like, completely.
32
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:13,997
They're like a five-car pileup
33
00:01:13,999 --> 00:01:15,132
starring Dylan's
whack-job dad.
34
00:01:15,134 --> 00:01:16,241
I can't believe it.
35
00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:17,859
I never thought
I'd see one get filmed.
36
00:01:17,861 --> 00:01:19,060
Dude, this is probably
the best thing
37
00:01:19,062 --> 00:01:21,471
that has ever happened to us.
38
00:01:21,473 --> 00:01:22,247
No offense.
39
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:23,731
Dylan and I are here
to rehearse
40
00:01:23,733 --> 00:01:24,808
because we're starring
41
00:01:24,810 --> 00:01:25,918
in the commercial this year.
42
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:28,145
So we'd actually better
go get inside.
43
00:01:28,147 --> 00:01:30,981
Oh, yeah. Bye, guys.
We'll see you in there.
44
00:01:30,983 --> 00:01:34,334
Oh my God!
45
00:01:35,321 --> 00:01:36,503
Jimmy and I are road-tripping
to Cleveland.
46
00:01:37,747 --> 00:01:40,006
We are both nominated
for the Regional Ohio
47
00:01:40,008 --> 00:01:41,916
Journalist Awards.
48
00:01:41,918 --> 00:01:43,327
Same category, actually.
49
00:01:43,329 --> 00:01:46,012
"Best Investigative Reporting."
50
00:01:46,014 --> 00:01:48,273
I did an exposé
on the girls' volleyball team
51
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:49,441
down at County High.
52
00:01:49,668 --> 00:01:51,944
They deflated the balls
to win the playoffs.
53
00:01:51,946 --> 00:01:53,946
And Jimmy is nominated
for his takedown
54
00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:55,430
of a Pockton City Council
member.
55
00:01:55,432 --> 00:01:57,432
Excited to see what happens.
56
00:01:57,434 --> 00:02:00,344
And also, I think
a little friendly competition
57
00:02:00,346 --> 00:02:05,031
can be quite sexy
in a relationship.
58
00:02:05,033 --> 00:02:07,017
I can just drive
at the halfway point.
59
00:02:07,019 --> 00:02:09,369
Um, no, that's okay. I got it.
60
00:02:09,371 --> 00:02:10,537
Yeah, but I want to.
61
00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:13,206
Eh, it rejuvenates me
to stay behind the wheel.
62
00:02:13,208 --> 00:02:15,425
- We'll see.
- Ah, we'll see.
63
00:02:20,457 --> 00:02:22,032
I have been
an efficiency machine
64
00:02:22,034 --> 00:02:23,458
these past few weeks.
65
00:02:23,460 --> 00:02:25,644
I wrote all my sermons
for the next month.
66
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:27,962
I winterized my roses.
67
00:02:27,964 --> 00:02:29,890
I even got
my plantar warts removed.
68
00:02:29,892 --> 00:02:31,892
From a real doctor this time.
69
00:02:31,894 --> 00:02:33,393
Yeah, my schedule's
been real light
70
00:02:33,395 --> 00:02:36,137
since Shrub and Kelly started
working at the car lot.
71
00:02:36,139 --> 00:02:37,656
What a change.
72
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:38,973
Seems like
it was just yesterday
73
00:02:39,067 --> 00:02:40,993
that they were jumping out
of closets in clown masks
74
00:02:40,995 --> 00:02:44,663
and locking me
out of my own phone.
75
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,390
Memories.
76
00:02:46,392 --> 00:02:48,241
So yeah, I mean,
I'm still the low man.
77
00:02:48,243 --> 00:02:50,243
So I do get punted most
of the bodily fluids stains.
78
00:02:50,245 --> 00:02:53,747
But other than that, I'm just
stoked to finally let my craft
79
00:02:53,749 --> 00:02:55,323
and my art come first.
80
00:02:55,325 --> 00:02:57,176
Like, I've done 50 cars now.
81
00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:59,069
And each one,
I'm not even kidding,
82
00:02:59,071 --> 00:03:01,254
feels just as special
as the first one.
83
00:03:01,256 --> 00:03:02,681
I mean, not to be, like,
whatever,
84
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:05,166
but you bond with these cars,
you know?
85
00:03:05,168 --> 00:03:06,593
You nurture them.
86
00:03:06,595 --> 00:03:09,170
You do everything that you can
to make them great.
87
00:03:09,172 --> 00:03:10,338
And then before you know it,
88
00:03:10,340 --> 00:03:12,006
they're fleeing the nest,
like a bird
89
00:03:12,008 --> 00:03:14,359
going off to bird
community college.
90
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:15,769
And...
91
00:03:15,771 --> 00:03:17,362
- Mallet.
- Boss.
92
00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:18,697
I've got
an assignment for you.
93
00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:19,865
- Hit me.
- You're detailing
94
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,867
the car for the ad,
decal and all.
95
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:22,926
Linda, if this is a prank,
96
00:03:22,928 --> 00:03:24,161
you've gone too far.
97
00:03:24,763 --> 00:03:26,263
You're ready.
98
00:03:26,265 --> 00:03:28,432
And frankly, I'm blown away
by your talent.
99
00:03:28,918 --> 00:03:29,933
The things that you can do
with a vacuum
100
00:03:29,935 --> 00:03:31,752
and a squeegee
should be illegal.
101
00:03:33,196 --> 00:03:35,255
Also, my osteoarthritis
is acting up.
102
00:03:45,133 --> 00:03:48,468
So apparently there's just
a table of free food
103
00:03:48,470 --> 00:03:50,229
on real TV sets.
104
00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:51,897
I don't know why you guys
never hook us up like that.
105
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:53,139
Huh?
106
00:03:53,141 --> 00:03:55,625
- If I say he's out, he's out.
- Okay.
107
00:03:55,627 --> 00:03:57,127
What was that about?
108
00:03:57,129 --> 00:03:58,237
Parney is a maniac.
109
00:03:58,239 --> 00:03:59,738
If he keeps firing extras,
110
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,965
we're not gonna have enough
bodies to fill the background.
111
00:04:01,967 --> 00:04:03,909
- I'm a body.
- What?
112
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:06,136
And a mind too.
A powerful one.
113
00:04:06,138 --> 00:04:07,304
But I'd be a great extra
114
00:04:07,306 --> 00:04:08,896
because I--
you could put me anywhere.
115
00:04:08,898 --> 00:04:10,415
I only have good angles.
Look.
116
00:04:14,496 --> 00:04:15,996
Okay, fine.
117
00:04:15,998 --> 00:04:17,905
What?
118
00:04:17,907 --> 00:04:19,741
Oh my God!
119
00:04:19,743 --> 00:04:20,984
I'm gonna be famous.
120
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,822
Thank you so much
for this opportunity.
121
00:04:25,824 --> 00:04:28,325
Youth outreach.
122
00:04:28,327 --> 00:04:30,844
I realize there must
be hordes of young Flatchians
123
00:04:30,846 --> 00:04:32,162
that might need my help.
124
00:04:32,164 --> 00:04:34,014
My mind immediately
went to Mickey.
125
00:04:34,016 --> 00:04:36,108
He seems like such a nice guy,
126
00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:39,169
and even though Shrub and Kelly
are always razzing him,
127
00:04:39,171 --> 00:04:40,687
he spends a lot of time
with them.
128
00:04:40,689 --> 00:04:41,947
I bet he's jonesing
129
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,699
for a little companionship
these days.
130
00:04:46,011 --> 00:04:48,845
Whoa, Mickey, nice threads!
131
00:04:48,847 --> 00:04:51,014
Oh, uh, thank you.
132
00:04:51,016 --> 00:04:52,349
It's for a war re-enactment.
133
00:04:52,351 --> 00:04:55,627
We're--it's the 210th
anniversary of the Flatch Five.
134
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:58,463
But Len's brother won
Sade tickets on the radio,
135
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,023
so he had to bail.
136
00:05:00,025 --> 00:05:01,207
So we might have to cancel.
137
00:05:01,209 --> 00:05:02,950
Can't do the Flatch Five
with just four.
138
00:05:02,952 --> 00:05:03,969
It's called the Flatch Five
for a reason.
139
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:06,696
- I'm in.
- Oh. No, I didn't--
140
00:05:06,698 --> 00:05:07,973
If you'll have me.
141
00:05:09,217 --> 00:05:12,385
Okay, uh, how about you meet us
in Auburndale field
142
00:05:12,387 --> 00:05:13,386
in about an hour?
143
00:05:13,388 --> 00:05:15,555
Costume provided;
snacks will not be,
144
00:05:15,557 --> 00:05:18,442
so eat before or bring your own
period-appropriate rations.
145
00:05:21,304 --> 00:05:23,971
And so I said,
"That's your byline?
146
00:05:23,973 --> 00:05:25,398
More like bye line."
147
00:05:26,401 --> 00:05:29,235
I had to do it.
I gave it back to him.
148
00:05:29,237 --> 00:05:32,831
Well, well, well,
if it isn't the old so-and-sos
149
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,741
from the Dayton Sentinel.
150
00:05:34,743 --> 00:05:36,743
Everyone, guard your sources.
151
00:05:36,745 --> 00:05:37,911
Jimmy Jameson,
you wily bastard.
152
00:05:37,913 --> 00:05:38,986
We didn't think
we'd see your face here
153
00:05:38,988 --> 00:05:40,005
after you swept last year.
154
00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:41,398
Hmm, well, what can I say?
155
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:43,991
I'm addicted
to writing brilliantly.
156
00:05:43,993 --> 00:05:45,752
And also diet pop.
157
00:05:47,406 --> 00:05:52,909
Oh, and this very
special person is Cheryl.
158
00:05:52,911 --> 00:05:54,019
- Nice to meet you.
- Hello.
159
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:55,095
You're Cheryl Peterson?
160
00:05:55,097 --> 00:05:57,764
Everyone here
is talking about you.
161
00:05:57,766 --> 00:05:58,932
Your piece is amazing.
162
00:05:58,934 --> 00:06:00,525
- Mm-hmm.
- CHERYL: Thank you.
163
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,861
Wait, aren't you two
up for the same category?
164
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,754
- That's right.
- Well...
165
00:06:04,756 --> 00:06:07,181
Uh-oh, Jimmy!
166
00:06:07,183 --> 00:06:08,775
You're in trouble this year.
167
00:06:10,929 --> 00:06:12,929
Someone's going down.
168
00:06:12,931 --> 00:06:14,598
- We'll see you in there.
- Take him down.
169
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:15,690
Mm-hmm.
170
00:06:15,692 --> 00:06:18,460
Oh, come on.
So exciting.
171
00:06:22,699 --> 00:06:24,216
Sorry, no cameras allowed.
172
00:06:28,389 --> 00:06:30,797
I've been working on this car
for seven hours straight.
173
00:06:30,799 --> 00:06:31,948
No bathroom breaks.
174
00:06:31,950 --> 00:06:33,091
Those are astronaut numbers.
175
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:35,135
But, you know,
I'm not complaining.
176
00:06:35,137 --> 00:06:36,061
I legit cannot believe
that Linda
177
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,396
is letting me do this at all.
178
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:45,052
Greetings, fellow countrymen.
179
00:06:45,054 --> 00:06:48,073
Oh, hey, everyone,
180
00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:49,983
let's give a warm welcome
to Father Joe,
181
00:06:49,985 --> 00:06:51,893
AKA Horace Mattheson,
182
00:06:51,895 --> 00:06:55,229
fifth regiment corporal
and noted hemophiliac.
183
00:06:55,231 --> 00:06:56,898
I'm happy to be here.
184
00:06:56,900 --> 00:06:59,418
I am quite honored
to welcome you
185
00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:01,545
to our gathering.
186
00:07:03,573 --> 00:07:05,757
Did I miss the battle?
I drank two protein shakes
187
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,984
on my way over here,
and I'm more than ready to run
188
00:07:07,986 --> 00:07:09,486
and do some
hand-to-hand combat.
189
00:07:09,488 --> 00:07:10,762
Fight?
190
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:13,748
Colonel Mayhill,
who is this interloper?
191
00:07:13,750 --> 00:07:15,767
I'll kill him
with my bare hands.
192
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:17,269
Stand down, soldier.
193
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,420
There won't be
any fighting today.
194
00:07:19,422 --> 00:07:21,422
See, the Flatch Five
were the group of soldiers
195
00:07:21,424 --> 00:07:23,608
left behind
to watch the regiment's bags.
196
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:24,851
Oh, really?
197
00:07:24,853 --> 00:07:27,094
So, like,
no storming the enemy?
198
00:07:27,096 --> 00:07:29,189
- No mud crawling?
- On the contrary.
199
00:07:29,191 --> 00:07:32,175
Today is about honoring
the quiet moments.
200
00:07:32,177 --> 00:07:34,327
Come, give it a try.
Watch the bags.
201
00:07:36,364 --> 00:07:40,459
You see, these were
the actual bags used in 1810.
202
00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:43,795
Oh, cool.
203
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,672
Sit. Reflect.
204
00:08:00,706 --> 00:08:03,064
Ope, nope. Stop.
205
00:08:04,042 --> 00:08:05,633
But you said
to watch the bags.
206
00:08:05,635 --> 00:08:07,194
Just feel.
207
00:08:11,733 --> 00:08:12,899
And the winner
208
00:08:12,901 --> 00:08:14,493
for Best Microregional
Weekly Feature
209
00:08:14,495 --> 00:08:16,161
goes to Cheryl Peterson.
210
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:17,329
CHERYL: Ah!
211
00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:20,982
I won! I won!
Can you believe it?
212
00:08:20,984 --> 00:08:23,651
Oh my--I forgot to kiss Jimmy.
213
00:08:23,653 --> 00:08:25,152
Oh, whatever. He won't care.
214
00:08:25,154 --> 00:08:26,821
Where is he?
Have you seen him?
215
00:08:26,823 --> 00:08:28,064
I--I need a drink.
216
00:08:28,066 --> 00:08:30,066
Me, too, because I won!
217
00:08:30,068 --> 00:08:31,593
Yep, I know. I know.
218
00:08:33,496 --> 00:08:34,495
Yes!
219
00:08:34,589 --> 00:08:37,498
Please, sir, I know
my credit is dreadful.
220
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:39,259
But can't you put me
in one of your many
221
00:08:39,261 --> 00:08:42,336
reasonably priced automobiles?
222
00:08:42,338 --> 00:08:45,506
My kids and I may need
to live in it someday.
223
00:08:45,508 --> 00:08:48,935
I'm sorry, ma'am,
but there's nothing I can do.
224
00:08:48,937 --> 00:08:50,587
Our amazing deals only apply
225
00:08:50,589 --> 00:08:53,273
to our financially
responsible customers.
226
00:08:53,275 --> 00:08:55,016
Cut.
227
00:08:55,018 --> 00:08:56,517
It's a big year for me.
228
00:08:56,519 --> 00:09:00,354
Doug finally gave me a real
role I can sink my teeth into.
229
00:09:00,356 --> 00:09:03,116
Yeah, usually, he just casts me
as "girl who points to car."
230
00:09:03,118 --> 00:09:06,711
So yep, that's me doing it.
231
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:09,939
Oh, icons.
232
00:09:09,941 --> 00:09:11,441
Oh, well, yeah.
233
00:09:11,443 --> 00:09:13,200
I really don't mean
to backseat direct,
234
00:09:13,202 --> 00:09:16,221
but is it possible for
the extras to stop overacting?
235
00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:18,390
I'm just--I'm really inspired
by your vision
236
00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:19,891
and I don't want anything
to distract from it.
237
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,893
Yeah, guys, stop overacting.
238
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:24,287
Yeah, fine, fine.
That's--that's fine.
239
00:09:24,289 --> 00:09:25,730
We'll just take it
from Dylan's line.
240
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:28,049
Yeah.
241
00:09:28,051 --> 00:09:31,903
And... action.
242
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,055
Miss, what's your credit score?
243
00:09:34,057 --> 00:09:36,966
That bad, huh?
244
00:09:36,968 --> 00:09:40,394
Please, sir.
I know my credit is dreadful,
245
00:09:40,396 --> 00:09:42,822
but couldn't you please put me
in one of your many
246
00:09:42,824 --> 00:09:44,732
reasonably--Kelly!
Are you kidding?
247
00:09:44,734 --> 00:09:45,917
Cut.
248
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:48,569
Oh my God,
is that Kelly Mallet?
249
00:09:48,571 --> 00:09:51,481
- Get over here.
- Sorry, Doug, sir.
250
00:09:51,483 --> 00:09:53,908
Kelly Mallet.
You know, your old man
251
00:09:53,910 --> 00:09:58,412
once tried to buy a car off
of me using counterfeit euros.
252
00:09:58,414 --> 00:10:01,099
Uh, those euros were actually
proven to be legitimate.
253
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,676
But they did
only equal 80 bucks.
254
00:10:03,678 --> 00:10:05,511
Wait a second.
255
00:10:05,513 --> 00:10:08,589
Oh, yeah, this is a good idea.
This is a good idea.
256
00:10:08,591 --> 00:10:10,758
Okay, Nadine, sweetie,
you're out.
257
00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:12,335
Kelly Mallet, you are in.
258
00:10:12,337 --> 00:10:15,705
You are my new
customer number one.
259
00:10:15,707 --> 00:10:16,764
What?
260
00:10:16,766 --> 00:10:18,358
Thank you so much, Mr. Parney.
261
00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:19,509
I will not let you down.
262
00:10:19,602 --> 00:10:21,953
- I'm f--I'm fired?
- Oh, Nadine, calm down.
263
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,880
Come on.
You can have Kelly's part.
264
00:10:23,882 --> 00:10:25,031
And if the gown still fits,
265
00:10:25,033 --> 00:10:26,440
you can, you know,
point at all the cars.
266
00:10:26,442 --> 00:10:28,960
Okay, here we go. Let's go.
All right, come on.
267
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,945
Don't ever.
268
00:10:30,947 --> 00:10:32,038
Give
me that Mallet energy.
269
00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:33,423
Thank you.
270
00:10:37,545 --> 00:10:38,970
Day two.
We are looking to each other
271
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:42,866
not only as brethren,
but perhaps as sustenance.
272
00:10:42,868 --> 00:10:46,293
Bored? No, no, not at all.
273
00:10:46,295 --> 00:10:47,979
It's just that I was hoping
to bond with Mickey
274
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,463
through play, you know.
275
00:10:49,465 --> 00:10:51,891
Get in the mud,
do a little roughhousing.
276
00:10:51,893 --> 00:10:53,318
But I'm having a little trouble
277
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,487
figuring out
the Flatch Five vibe.
278
00:11:01,144 --> 00:11:03,328
Horace, where are you going?
279
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:04,812
I was just gonna gather
some wood
280
00:11:04,814 --> 00:11:06,723
for the Flatch Five fire.
281
00:11:06,725 --> 00:11:08,057
Why aren't you limping?
282
00:11:08,059 --> 00:11:10,226
Everyone knows that
Horace Mattheson sustained
283
00:11:10,228 --> 00:11:12,027
an injury to his right leg.
284
00:11:12,029 --> 00:11:14,580
And because he had hemophilia,
285
00:11:14,582 --> 00:11:16,399
he was never able to heal.
286
00:11:16,401 --> 00:11:19,585
And Mattheson was missing
his right eye
287
00:11:19,587 --> 00:11:21,254
from a musket mishap.
288
00:11:21,256 --> 00:11:23,998
And wood gathering
was Private Emerson's job.
289
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,266
And that's me.
290
00:11:27,429 --> 00:11:28,395
I'll help.
291
00:11:30,265 --> 00:11:34,192
What are you doing?
Are--are we racing?
292
00:11:36,438 --> 00:11:38,029
Yes! Winner!
293
00:11:40,091 --> 00:11:42,775
Oh, Shrub just detailed
this car.
294
00:11:42,777 --> 00:11:47,021
Look at it. It looks great.
He must be so psyched.
295
00:11:47,023 --> 00:11:49,356
Horace. Horace.
296
00:11:49,358 --> 00:11:51,859
This is a no phone zone, buddy.
297
00:11:51,861 --> 00:11:53,420
Not gonna warn you again.
298
00:11:57,459 --> 00:12:00,719
- Eeny, meeny, miney, moe.
- Eeny, meeny, minnie, moe.
299
00:12:00,721 --> 00:12:02,462
Eeny, meeny, miney, moe.
300
00:12:02,464 --> 00:12:03,888
All right, folks.
301
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:04,872
Let's make room
for the vehicle.
302
00:12:04,874 --> 00:12:06,891
Clear the road.
303
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,893
Vehicle coming through.
Let's go.
304
00:12:19,055 --> 00:12:21,981
Winner in the house.
305
00:12:21,983 --> 00:12:23,466
- Oh.
- Boom.
306
00:12:23,468 --> 00:12:25,818
Looks like you are not
the only game in Ohio
307
00:12:25,820 --> 00:12:28,137
regional micro-subscription
papers anymore, Jimbo.
308
00:12:28,139 --> 00:12:31,232
Ah, you know,
I--I have a headache.
309
00:12:31,234 --> 00:12:34,310
Uh, I--I should go
find some aspirin.
310
00:12:34,312 --> 00:12:35,736
- I'll be right back.
- Okay.
311
00:12:35,738 --> 00:12:36,713
I'll see you in a sec, hon.
312
00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:42,260
Hey.
313
00:12:44,172 --> 00:12:46,598
We couldn't convince you
to come work with us, could we?
314
00:12:47,325 --> 00:12:48,341
Seriously?
315
00:12:48,343 --> 00:12:50,268
We will set you up
real nice in Dayton.
316
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:54,088
Yeah, there's even
a Chipotle in our complex.
317
00:12:54,090 --> 00:12:56,332
Why don't we start
by buying the lady a drink?
318
00:12:56,334 --> 00:12:58,592
- Huh?
- Oh, I should wait for--
319
00:12:58,594 --> 00:13:00,427
Um... oh, screw it.
320
00:13:00,429 --> 00:13:02,489
Tonight, I am drinking
like print media.
321
00:13:03,525 --> 00:13:05,599
Like it's going out of style!
322
00:13:05,601 --> 00:13:07,193
- Hey!
- Oh!
323
00:13:07,195 --> 00:13:08,602
- Shots, please!
- You got it.
324
00:13:08,604 --> 00:13:11,531
Can't you put me in one of
your reasonably priced cars?
325
00:13:11,533 --> 00:13:14,108
Okay? My kids and I could
live in it someday.
326
00:13:14,110 --> 00:13:16,702
I'm sorry, ma'am,
but there's nothing I can do.
327
00:13:16,704 --> 00:13:17,962
Our amazing deals only apply
328
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:20,706
to our financially
responsible customers.
329
00:13:20,708 --> 00:13:22,525
Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut.
330
00:13:22,527 --> 00:13:24,360
- Hey, hey, hey, once again...
- Oh, my God.
331
00:13:24,362 --> 00:13:26,120
I need you to just
stay out of the shot.
332
00:13:26,122 --> 00:13:29,048
- I'm not in your shot, dude.
- Okay.
333
00:13:29,050 --> 00:13:31,701
While we're stopped,
can somebody please tell me
334
00:13:31,703 --> 00:13:33,294
whose butt I have to kiss
335
00:13:33,296 --> 00:13:37,723
to get my son to behave
like a believable car salesman?
336
00:13:37,725 --> 00:13:39,984
I am an actual
car salesman, Dad.
337
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:42,545
Please. Please.
I was--I was--stop. Stop.
338
00:13:42,547 --> 00:13:43,229
- Kelly.
- Yeah?
339
00:13:43,398 --> 00:13:45,139
I need you to play this sadder.
340
00:13:45,141 --> 00:13:47,233
Okay.
I think Belinda--
341
00:13:47,235 --> 00:13:49,994
that's my character's name--
she's, like, less sad.
342
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:52,071
I see her more as resilient.
343
00:13:52,073 --> 00:13:53,998
Okay, I like that instinct,
but I'm talking sad.
344
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,742
- Okay.
- Okay? Like, sad.
345
00:13:56,744 --> 00:13:58,244
Down on your luck. Down.
346
00:13:58,246 --> 00:14:00,338
- Down.
- Okay, you got that?
347
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:03,249
You work with what you got.
All right?
348
00:14:03,251 --> 00:14:06,135
- Got it, boss.
- Okay, good. Here we go.
349
00:14:11,334 --> 00:14:14,594
Hey, how about
some ghost stories?
350
00:14:14,596 --> 00:14:16,095
I'm great at this, I swear.
351
00:14:16,097 --> 00:14:19,098
I remember when my grandpappy
352
00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:21,918
took me down here
to this very field.
353
00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:24,404
- Back then--
- What's with your voice?
354
00:14:24,406 --> 00:14:26,364
And why are you limping
on the wrong leg?
355
00:14:27,425 --> 00:14:30,451
Hey, Father Joe,
can you come here?
356
00:14:33,932 --> 00:14:36,357
Um...
357
00:14:36,359 --> 00:14:39,193
it pains me to say this,
but I think the Flatch Five
358
00:14:39,195 --> 00:14:42,171
needs to be
the Flatch Four today.
359
00:14:43,291 --> 00:14:44,990
We're just
kind of a low-octane crew,
360
00:14:44,992 --> 00:14:45,958
and it seems like
you're looking
361
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:48,219
for a little more action.
362
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:51,038
Uh, also, Len says
you ate some of his walnuts.
363
00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:52,965
Wait.
Are you kicking me out?
364
00:14:52,967 --> 00:14:54,592
Is this part of it?
It is.
365
00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:57,186
Are you talking to me
or Horace right now?
366
00:14:57,972 --> 00:14:59,355
The regiment has spoken.
367
00:14:59,974 --> 00:15:02,108
Fine.
368
00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:04,068
I'm gonna take my goodwill
369
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,154
and my sense of adventure
elsewhere.
370
00:15:08,891 --> 00:15:10,617
I'll take the hat.
371
00:15:13,821 --> 00:15:15,496
Thank you.
372
00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:19,918
Jimmy and his little baby
headache
373
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,144
never made it back to the bar.
374
00:15:21,146 --> 00:15:23,162
But those Dayton people
are so cool.
375
00:15:23,164 --> 00:15:25,089
You know,
they offered me a job?
376
00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:27,316
Ah, can you believe?
377
00:15:27,318 --> 00:15:30,744
They also offered me nachos,
which I love more than jobs.
378
00:15:30,746 --> 00:15:32,931
And I love--I love you guys.
379
00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,581
I love you guys.
380
00:15:34,583 --> 00:15:38,085
You're always filming,
you little cutie.
381
00:15:38,087 --> 00:15:40,846
Ope, nope.
You can't come in here.
382
00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:45,443
All right. Love you.
Good night.
383
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:48,112
Oh, you're up...
384
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,097
and playing video games.
385
00:15:50,099 --> 00:15:52,024
Well, you cheated
in the license plate game.
386
00:15:52,026 --> 00:15:53,859
I did not cheat.
387
00:15:53,861 --> 00:15:56,120
I saw Hawaii.
388
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:58,014
Why is that so hard to believe?
389
00:15:58,016 --> 00:15:59,182
And then you fake
a headache
390
00:15:59,184 --> 00:16:00,792
instead of celebrating me.
391
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:03,127
Oh my God,
you're just a sore loser.
392
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,705
I'm not a loser. I'm a winner!
393
00:16:05,707 --> 00:16:08,174
Wrong! I'm the winner!
394
00:16:14,365 --> 00:16:16,474
Ah, pish-posh.
395
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:21,628
Dry your tears and tell me,
the Credit Lord, what ails you.
396
00:16:21,630 --> 00:16:26,225
Your Royal Highness, please
take pity on a wretch like me
397
00:16:26,227 --> 00:16:30,563
and set me up
with a reasonable auto loan.
398
00:16:30,565 --> 00:16:31,823
Okay, that's just wrong.
399
00:16:31,825 --> 00:16:33,733
That's wrong.
Okay, Kelly.
400
00:16:33,735 --> 00:16:34,900
Mm.
401
00:16:34,902 --> 00:16:38,054
I want you
to think pennilessness.
402
00:16:38,056 --> 00:16:40,147
Coupon clipping.
403
00:16:40,149 --> 00:16:43,409
Free cafeteria lunches.
404
00:16:43,411 --> 00:16:44,818
Mallet sad.
405
00:16:44,820 --> 00:16:46,395
Okay? Let's go. Here we go.
406
00:16:46,397 --> 00:16:47,654
You're doing great,
Kelly.
407
00:16:47,656 --> 00:16:50,991
Okay, Doug's entrance.
And action.
408
00:16:50,993 --> 00:16:53,344
Pish-posh.
409
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:58,165
Dry your tears and tell me,
the Credit Lord, what ails you.
410
00:16:58,167 --> 00:17:00,926
Ah, Your Royal Highness!
411
00:17:00,928 --> 00:17:05,264
Please take pity
on a wretch like me
412
00:17:05,266 --> 00:17:08,584
and set me up
with a reasonable auto loan!
413
00:17:09,921 --> 00:17:11,529
Well, you're in luck, my child.
414
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:16,108
Because now during Parney Auto
Mall's No Credit, Bad Credit
415
00:17:16,110 --> 00:17:19,428
Sale event, I'm looking
to help all the lowly,
416
00:17:19,430 --> 00:17:22,265
wanton citizens of Flatch
get into cars,
417
00:17:22,267 --> 00:17:28,629
even those as low, low, lowly
as yourself.
418
00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:35,628
You've fallen
right into my trap.
419
00:17:35,630 --> 00:17:40,783
Yes, I may have bad credit,
but I also have millions!
420
00:17:40,785 --> 00:17:42,060
- That's right.
- What?
421
00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:44,120
I'm a diamond heiress.
422
00:17:44,122 --> 00:17:47,456
And I've come to expose
the evil corporation,
423
00:17:47,458 --> 00:17:52,461
Parney Auto Mall.
And it's elitist owner.
424
00:17:52,463 --> 00:17:54,964
Cut! Dylan, dude,
you're in the way of the decal!
425
00:17:54,966 --> 00:17:56,982
I'm going to law school.
426
00:17:56,984 --> 00:17:59,969
What is the matter with you?
What is your name?
427
00:17:59,971 --> 00:18:01,562
You're a Mallet.
428
00:18:01,564 --> 00:18:05,065
You're the human embodiment
of No Credit, Bad Credit.
429
00:18:05,067 --> 00:18:07,993
How dare you talk
to a millionaire like that?
430
00:18:07,995 --> 00:18:09,812
Don't you know
who her father is?
431
00:18:09,814 --> 00:18:13,240
I got it, Dylan. Hey, dude.
Guess what.
432
00:18:13,242 --> 00:18:15,985
I may be a little
cash-ily challenged right now,
433
00:18:15,987 --> 00:18:17,929
but at least
I'll never be a sad,
434
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:20,840
mean old man like you.
435
00:18:20,842 --> 00:18:23,326
Okay?
I'm a winner, kay?
436
00:18:23,328 --> 00:18:25,995
And I'm not gonna take any
of this disrespect anymore.
437
00:18:25,997 --> 00:18:27,847
- Uh-oh.
- I quit.
438
00:18:27,849 --> 00:18:28,940
Yeah, you quit?
You're fired.
439
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:30,591
Well, joke's on you,
440
00:18:30,593 --> 00:18:32,926
because I never
technically worked here.
441
00:18:32,928 --> 00:18:34,337
Oh, joke's on you.
442
00:18:34,339 --> 00:18:36,114
Now I don't have
to pay you severance.
443
00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:37,340
- Boom!
- SHRUB: Hey! Hey!
444
00:18:37,342 --> 00:18:40,526
Get your hands
off of that car!
445
00:18:40,528 --> 00:18:42,120
What is wrong with you?
446
00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:43,621
Look at that car.
Whose car is that?
447
00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:47,199
That's my car.
All of these cars are my cars.
448
00:18:47,201 --> 00:18:50,294
And guess what I get to do.
Huh?
449
00:18:51,022 --> 00:18:52,446
- I get to do that!
- SHRUB: No!
450
00:18:52,448 --> 00:18:54,132
Yeah, baby.
451
00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:55,691
Get this freak off my lawn.
452
00:18:55,693 --> 00:18:58,636
You know, I thought this was
a place that respected cars.
453
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:01,530
A place that respected art.
But I was wrong.
454
00:19:01,532 --> 00:19:03,790
When it comes to business,
all this man cares about
455
00:19:03,792 --> 00:19:07,370
is money and getting clients
and selling cars; that's it.
456
00:19:07,372 --> 00:19:09,129
That's called
running a business.
457
00:19:09,131 --> 00:19:11,649
Yeah, well, this is called,
"You make me sick."
458
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:12,817
I quit.
459
00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:14,226
Me, too.
460
00:19:14,228 --> 00:19:17,155
Stay strong, Dylan.
Mallets out!
461
00:19:20,267 --> 00:19:24,069
Oh, uh, yeah, well, things got
a little heated last night.
462
00:19:24,071 --> 00:19:26,330
But I think we got
to a good place.
463
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:28,391
We're gonna take some
time apart.
464
00:19:28,393 --> 00:19:30,668
There's lots that I liked
about the relationship.
465
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:31,985
You know, the riddles,
466
00:19:31,987 --> 00:19:33,504
the race to do the crossword,
467
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:34,655
bubble baths.
468
00:19:34,657 --> 00:19:36,490
But we're both
really competitive,
469
00:19:36,492 --> 00:19:39,159
and I think that's just
too explosive for me.
470
00:19:39,161 --> 00:19:41,921
So we can still be friends.
471
00:19:41,923 --> 00:19:44,182
Can never have
too many friends.
472
00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:47,576
Or free hotel lotions.
473
00:19:47,578 --> 00:19:50,262
I'm gonna take some time apart
from tequila too.
474
00:19:50,264 --> 00:19:52,932
Ultimately, yeah, I'm glad
we're out of the rat race.
475
00:19:52,934 --> 00:19:55,526
Same. I mean,
who wants to be a rat?
476
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,269
Other than Ratatouille,
obviously.
477
00:19:57,271 --> 00:19:58,938
I mean, that guy freakin'
loved being a rat.
478
00:19:58,940 --> 00:20:00,589
Yeah, and
now I'm finally freed up
479
00:20:00,591 --> 00:20:02,758
to find a job that, like,
pays me to be me.
480
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:04,760
I think, for sure,
it's gonna be acting.
481
00:20:04,762 --> 00:20:06,779
Yeah, and honestly,
I would rather be broke
482
00:20:06,781 --> 00:20:09,281
than ever compromise myself
for my art again.
483
00:20:09,283 --> 00:20:12,025
I mean, newsflash,
my integrity is not for sale.
484
00:20:12,027 --> 00:20:14,361
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
485
00:20:14,363 --> 00:20:16,863
What are you doing here?
Day off from the car lot?
486
00:20:16,865 --> 00:20:19,124
Yup. Today, tomorrow...
487
00:20:19,126 --> 00:20:20,943
Forever and ever and ever.
488
00:20:20,945 --> 00:20:22,278
What the heck happened?
489
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:23,888
There may have been,
you know,
490
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,372
a little bit of a scene,
491
00:20:25,374 --> 00:20:27,283
and we were maybe
escorted off property.
492
00:20:27,285 --> 00:20:28,542
Seriously?
493
00:20:28,544 --> 00:20:30,803
How could the two of you
manage to behave so poorly,
494
00:20:30,805 --> 00:20:32,212
they'd ask you to leave?
495
00:20:32,214 --> 00:20:33,731
You gotta learn
to be more low-octane.
496
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,625
Maybe we will if they stop
treating us like chumps.
497
00:20:36,627 --> 00:20:37,793
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
498
00:20:37,795 --> 00:20:38,961
Okay, come
to the office tomorrow,
499
00:20:38,963 --> 00:20:40,404
and we can talk about it.
500
00:20:43,134 --> 00:20:44,533
Why are you limping?
501
00:20:49,490 --> 00:20:52,083
...who bite deeply into
the necks of their victims.
502
00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:55,586
Dude, don't hog the cashews.
503
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:56,829
Give me some.
504
00:20:56,831 --> 00:20:59,423
- One.
- Oh, my God, dude, it's on.
505
00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:00,666
It's on.
506
00:21:00,668 --> 00:21:01,926
And tell me,
507
00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:04,095
the Credit Lord,
what ails you.
508
00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:08,507
Oh, take pity
on a lowly wretch like me...
509
00:21:08,509 --> 00:21:09,767
You did it way better.
510
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:11,660
And set me up
with a reasonable auto loan.
511
00:21:11,662 --> 00:21:13,162
Well, you're in luck,
512
00:21:13,164 --> 00:21:16,015
because now,
during Parney Auto Mall's...
513
00:21:16,017 --> 00:21:17,349
Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait!
514
00:21:17,351 --> 00:21:18,276
Wait!
515
00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:20,927
Shrub, that's you. That's you.
516
00:21:20,929 --> 00:21:23,172
Oh my God. That's me.
517
00:21:23,174 --> 00:21:26,117
That's you on TV!
That's you on TV!
518
00:21:27,845 --> 00:21:29,412
Oh my God.
519
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:34,417
Look at that baby shine.
35449