Original subtitles

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

Every time the heavens open,

a tale of great deluge falls into my mind.

A tale far from the floods of Atlantis,

Gilgamesh, and Genesis.

A tale from the gutter.

But even in the sewers of the world,

all humans have a craving for life.

And then there's this fella, Jimmy Cullen.

Well, poor Jimmy here got himself all lost.

Oh-so-tired of the old living, breathing,

all-around general being.

I guess you could say he was a fella who went down

the dirtiest of dirt road blues, the dusty old way,

To where the sun has come down.

And the lights...

...have gone out.

But before all that...

...Jimmy had to return home to face his demons.

The long, difficult road...

...to earn his salvation.

♪ Wounded move ♪

♪ There was a in my eyes ♪

♪ Damn this feeling ♪

Thank you.

Was that Jimmy Cullen?

Couldn't have been.

Just that he would never show his face around here.

Ballylough are winning by two points

with a minute to go. Can they do it for the first time

in 47 years? 47 years

of spilt blood, perished brows, and bad refereeing decisions,

and here they are, finally so close to victory.

But two points is a dangerous cunt of a lead.

All the Slashers need is a goal, and their countyman,

McKenzie has the ball.

Fuck!

Ha! He's miskicked it.

All the goalie has to do is stop it,

and Ballylough have... Oh, whoa...

Oh, my fucking God.

The stupid bollocks let it in.

Are you looking for something?

Bit of rope.

Would you have any more of a requirement

of the rope, apart from "a bit of"?

Bit of... strong rope.

What thickness?

We've eight mil, ten mil, 12 mil, 14 mil.

You see, there's... there's a level of consistency

around here when it comes to the measurement of a rope,

especially as it gets thicker.

You see, it depends what you're planning to do with the rope.

This thin stuff here would be ideal for a clothesline

or tying a little agricultural-themed bow

on a gift.

Right. Well, this thick stuff will be thick enough

for towing a cow. Is it a cow you're towing?

Right. What, then, if you don't mind me asking,

are you doing with the rope?

Hanging myself.

I suggest you go for the 14 mil.

It is good and strong.

I think I just saw Jimmy Cullen.

- The Jimmy Cullen? - Not a hope.

Sure looked like him.

What the fuck do you want?

Get your fucking hands off me, you peasant bitch!

Get off me. Get your fucking...

What the fuck are you staring at?

- Fuck off. Get your... - . Get your fucking

hands... ugh, you stupid bitch.

♪ Same beige ceiling, same beige floors ♪

♪ Television, nothing's on ♪

♪ I'm half-man, half-desk, I'm half-man, half-car ♪

♪ I'm half-man, half-woman, I'm half-man, half-coward ♪

Damien?

Get out.

Who were those guys?

Oh, them?

They're just friends.

Ooh! Fuck!

Fuck.

- I'm bleeding. - Yeah, good.

That's the sign of a good successful headbutt, so it is.

What'd you do that for?

I've been fantasizing about doing that for years.

I've been...

Stop it, Damien.

Damien!

Hey, hey...

What the fuck was that?

It's Dad.

- Dad? - Hmm.

Why does he sound like a poltergeist?

Hmm. I have him mic'd.

He's very feeble, so I put a microphone

by the bed so I can hear him.

- Thanks. - Ooh!

It's scalding hot.

- I'm sorry, Damien. - For what?

For leaving.

You're missing out on wiping shite

from your father's arsehole twice a day.

I'd like to see my father now.

You know where he is.

Hey, Dad.

It's Jimmy.

Sorry, Dad, I... I...

I've absolutely no idea what you said.

No. Nothing.

Never good at the ol' communicating, were you?

Except with your fists.

Oh, you were always very good at that, right?

Seven years...

...with Damien.

I know. I know, yeah.

Sorry about that.

I'm sorry for never getting in touch when I left.

Except for that time for the bail money.

And I'm sorry, Dad.

That money wasn't for bail money.

That was for booze, Dad.

And prostitutes, Dad.

And crystal meth.

It's a drug, Dad.

Crystal-based methamphetamine that you...

...that you have a great fucking time with it.

Oh, yeah?

Remember this?

Yeah.

Don't start now.

fucking ruined it!

Would you just calm down?

Don't tell me to calm down, you don't understand.

Look, he hasn't fucking earned it, it's not his.

It's not his until I give it to him, okay?

Leave him.

- Leave him. - Get back.

- Where is it? - I don't know.

- Liar. - Don't hit him.

- Get off me. - No!

Sorry. I did steal it.

Sorry about that.

Goodbye, Dad.

And fuck you.

You fuckin'...

Dad?

Dad?

Dad?

Dad?

Da...

Oh, fuck, your fucking arm. Dad?

Shit. Please... please don't die. Dad? Dad.

Dad? You fuck...

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Hi, Father Gilhooley.

Daddy passed away.

Yes, he died naturally.

Although the doctor did say something about

a broken arm, which I knew nothing about, but...

At least he's at peace now.

Stop! Stop the funeral.

Sorry.

Who's this gobshite?

It's Dad's solicitor.

What are you doing, McTernan?

Stopping the funeral. Back 'er up.

It's not a fucking trailer we're reversing.

I know, I know. Go back into the house with me.

I'll explain. It's an emergency.

Your father has a number of serious conditions.

- In his will. - What conditions?

It states... explains... demands your father,

under no circumstances, is to be buried on a day

when it is raining.

Fuck off.

They are the final wishes of your dead father,

- Mr. Cullen. - Fuck off.

You'll have to wait till it dries up for the funeral.

If you don't, McTernan, McTernan and O'Brian will be

legally bound to forego your father's estate

to a charitable organization.

- Who? - Templeport Gun Club.

Are they even a jersey?

Apparently so.

When's it going to stop raining?

Well, I'm not the weatherman,

but according to my weather app, that's not the case for tomorrow

or indeed the day after that, or the day after that,

but the day af... Oh, no,

100% chance of rain the day after that as well.

In fact, the rest of the week is out by the looks of things, men.

I am sorry for the complication, Mr. Cullens.

Damien, I think we should just bury him,

so we can move on,

- you know, and... - No. We've waited this long,

what's another day or so?

Damien, there's no way.

Seven years I've been waiting of that contrary fucker to die.

That's my money, okay?

I can't wait any longer.

You know, it does seem rather strange that the man you hate

died within minutes of you being alone with him.

I didn't kill him.

No?

Whatever you say, Damien.

Uh, hello, everyone. How's things?

Look, uh, sorry for keeping you waiting and... and thanks

a... a million for coming out today, you've been great.

Um, but we'll have to leave it there.

Okay? Funeral's off, essentially.

Look, there's been a... an unforeseen, uh, technical hitch,

okay? So... so that's it, all right?

Sorry, uh, for any, uh, inconvenience and, look, we'll...

we'll let you know when it's back on, okay?

So, uh, safe home,

uh, God bless, and... and look, mind yourselves. And...

- Yes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Hello?

- Yeah. - Are we still going to get

the sandwiches up in the hotel after?

No.

Ah, that's done for today. No funeral,

no sandwiches, it's all postponed, okay?

Uh, like I said, it's off and, look, we'll... we'll leave

it there for today, okay? So...

Look, sorry. Sorry about that. Good luck, see ya.

Sorry.

So, in the meantime, what do we do about Dad?

This is ridiculous.

Yeah, well, he should've thought of freezing costs,

shouldn't he have?

- Oh, now, Damien... - What?

I'm not gonna waste the good pizzas.

It's not a bit... disrespectful or something,

freezing our father with frozen pizzas?

I think it's quite apt, actually.

Patricia, sweetheart! Patricia!

I have to go.

No, you don't.

- Patricia! - D'you hear that?

That's my mother telling me it's time to go.

I love you.

- No, you don't. - I do.

You just want to have sex with me.

Not denying, that's true. But there was love there, too.

Patricia, I'm gonna fuck up both of you.

I better go, unless you wanna be having sex with my corpse.

Don't answer that.

Love you, too.

Hey.

Jimmy.

Got you flowers.

Did you rob them off your father's coffin?

- Why would you say that? - 'Cause they're fucking lilies.

- Can I come in? - No.

Aw, Come on, Tricia, it's raining.

I know.

You're looking well.

Despite the...

Whatever you want to say, Jimmy, say it and then fuck off.

I want to say I'm sorry, Tricia.

What I did was unforgivable,

to just leave you like that, at a time when...

Jimmy, do you think I don't know what you did to me?

No one knows more about what you did to me than me.

Can you do two things for me, please,

as a way of some sort of apology?

Yeah. Sure, anything.

Number one: rot in hell, for all eternity.

What's number two?

Fuck off from around this house

and never, ever come back.

That's three things.

♪ Rain, rain falling ♪

♪ Soothe my soul ♪

♪ Rain, rain calling ♪

♪ Bell that tolls ♪

♪ Rain, rain falling ♪

♪ Soothe my soul ♪

Hello.

Uh...

Can I help you with something?

Could you go away, then, please?

Oh, for fuck's sake.

♪ Down, down, I'll take you down ♪

♪ From the cradle to the grave, from your cloak to your crown ♪

♪ Swinging by a rope, you're hanging from a tree ♪

♪ Sexual confession will set you free ♪

♪ Rain, rain falling ♪

♪ Soothe my soul ♪

♪ Rain, rain calling ♪

♪ The bell that tolls ♪

♪ Down, down, I'll cut you down, baby, hold you in my arms ♪

♪ I'll swing you 'round ♪ ♪ 'Cause there ain't no love ♪

♪ Without no sin ♪ ♪ It's worth talkin', baby ♪

♪ You know where I've been ♪ ♪ Soothe my soul ♪

♪ Soothe my soul ♪ ♪ Soothe my soul ♪

♪ Bell that tolls ♪ ♪ Soothe my soul ♪

♪ Bell that tolls ♪ ♪ Soothe my soul ♪

♪ Soothe my soul ♪

Where are all these musicians from?

We travel from the bottom, from the bottom

of society to sing the blues.

Why specifically this shit hole?

I said I'm going to the saddest town,

saddest town in the whole world, to pour out my pain.

Pour out my pain in a place where it rains, rains, rains

for all eternity.

And I met a man there who told me he wanted to end it all.

And I said, "You know what?"

You can find so many reasons to die, my friend.

So many reasons, as many as the stars in the sky,

but you only need one reason to live.

Just the one, yeah.

♪ Babe ♪

♪ It won't ever stop raining ♪

♪ No matter how much you're complaining ♪

♪ So babe, babe, babe, quit your crying ♪

♪ 'Cause you know my heart ain't lying ♪

♪ So come with me ♪

♪ My honey bee ♪

♪ To be ♪

♪ It's my desire ♪

♪ A love that's higher ♪

♪ Come and set me free ♪

- I was singing there. - Yeah,.

Get off the stage, you hussy.

Hey!

You fucking inbred wanker.

- Leave her alone. - Fuck you, Cullen.

She was singing her songs or she was.

I don't give a fuck.

It's Jimmy Cullen!

Let her sing be, you bullocks.

It's not about her singing. She is trouble.

She's a dirty whore.

Ah, get over yourselves.

There's not one of youse hasn't done some

bad shit to someone else.

Is there? Is there anyone?

Because if there is, by all means,

come out and dish up a punishment of your choice.

Is there anyone?

Hello.

Someone shouting from out back there.

Yes.

I believe I never did anything bad to anyone.

Huh.

Not once in me whole life. Never hurt a soul.

- Oh. - So can I slap her now?

What do you on about, Hennessy?

You used to batter your kids.

And you used to pour slurry in Templeport Lake.

He still does that.

He molested me as a child.

Me, too.

All right. Okay.

Is there anyone else who thinks they haven't done

some bad shit to someone else?

Come on up forward here and take on our good woman...

- Masha. - Masha here.

No?

Okay, then.

Well, may this girl sing,

youse crowd of hypocritical bastards.

♪ Open your heart ♪

♪ Make a new start ♪

Hey. You, um, want to share an umbrella?

Which way you going?

This way.

- I'm going this way. - Oh.

Shit! My heel.

What are you doing?

Oh.

You're very kind.

Looks good on you.

Thank you.

If I walk you home, um, neither of us would be

wet from the ankles up.

I saw you arrested the other day.

Why?

Stealing from Keele's pub.

Why'd you steal from old Keele?

I didn't.

Why were you arrested for, then?

He thinks I did.

I worked there sometimes.

But somebody did steal from him, yes, but it wasn't me.

His coke-snorting son, on the other hand,

needed the money.

What makes you think you're right?

Because I am the one who sold him the coke.

But hey, it's hard to explain to a redneck who thinks the sun

shine's out of his son's innocent white asshole.

So he blames me, and so does the sergeant.

I think that's my role in this town.

The devil they blame.

Every town needs one, no?

The pariah, the witch,

the wayward woman that everyone loves to hate.

Apart from selling drugs to their children,

why would they hate you?

Because I am a slut.

You don't mind being called a slut?

Why would I?

It's true.

- You'll have sex with anyone? - I fuck who I want to fuck.

I enjoy pleasure as much as anyone else

in the world enjoys pleasure.

And what is more pleasurable than sex?

- You don't like sex? - No.

What? What do you mean? Why?

- How far away is your house? - Far.

- Are you wearing a bra? - Yes.

- What type? - It is leopard print and black...

No, I mean, what structure?

You want to know the structure of my bra?

- Yeah. - One tiny minute.

Why don't you see for yourself?

Your chariot awaits.

A man who can make a motor purr with his bare hands.

Ah, uh, I'm driving, bitch.

♪ Trust me when I say ♪

♪ That lovers can be afraid ♪

Thank you for the shoe.

And the car.

Thank you for the bra.

You fixed it.

Couldn't have you going around without a bra on.

Catch your death.

I'm sorry about your dad. Him dying.

Him being dead. He's dead.

I'm sorry.

Are you here for long?

'Til the rain stops.

So, for some time then?

Jimmy?

- Yeah. - You have a nice bum.

Who was that? Who was that?

No one.

Rain, rain and more rain.

That what's going on in the little village

of Ballylough in the County of Cavan.

I think it's time for the rain god to rein it in there.

I'm waiting here.

From your friends?

They're more acquaintances, but yes.

What's it say today?

"Pay money or well..." Oh, no, no. Pay money or we'll."

Gobshites forgot to use the apostrophe

for the contraction of "we will."

"Pay money or we'll break your fucking ankles."

- Ankles? That's very... - Specific.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

They said they wanted to snap my Achilles tendons yesterday.

- D'you hear the news? - That's not the news?

- About the children. - What about the children?

They stopped talking.

Ever since the rain, they haven't said a word.

- Apparently. - That's fucking ages ago.

I know, but sure, with them on their phones all the time,

they're only noticing now.

I'm going back to bed.

♪ Dear foggy afternoon ♪

♪ I am foggy just like you ♪

♪ My mind is stormy and confused ♪

♪ I'm solo dancing with the blues ♪

Jimmy.

What?

Do you want a cup of tea?

No.

I need something stronger.

♪ I'm miles and miles from these desert skies ♪

Whiskey.

♪ From the scorching heat ♪

What kind of a crooked whore

would put his own father in a freezer?

What type of son

put his mother in the cold wet muck of a graveyard?

The worms can wriggle up inside her and feast

on her decomposing flesh for all eternity.

♪ Dreaming ♪

♪ Of where I should be ♪

♪ But I wake up next to nothing ♪

♪ But misery ♪

♪ But I wished you well ♪

Hi.

Hi.

♪ I wished you well ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

Would you like to go dancing?

Would you like to live a little, Jimmy?

You might enjoy it.

♪ Let me , out of the bay ♪

♪ So you can be angry at me ♪

Fucking take it.

Stand up. Stand up.

No! Jimmy.

Let's go somewhere.

So, when the rain stops, where are you going?

I don't want to talk about it.

You know the cure to pain is...

...pleasure?

No.

The act of sex is ridiculous.

You seriously think that?

Think about it.

Spend so much time and so much pain

in some head-fuck of a crush,

great pursuit of falling in love, and for what?

Some three-second orgasm, where you pull some contorted,

ridiculous cum face, squeeze out this pathetic, sad, little milky

tear that's supposed to give all life, and for what, a child?

And then what?

Job to pay for that child?

A better job to pay for a better child?

Job, money, better job, more money,

on and on and on, pushing that rock up

that hill 'til you're too old to push anymore.

Just old enough to roll over and die.

All because of some sad, twitchy, three-second pang

of pleasure, squirted out of an independently minded cock.

Wow.

Love is a mental illness.

I escaped it.

And I'm better for it.

I can see that.

Sorry.

I have to go.

♪ Run with me into this rain ♪

♪ And die with me on this bed of shame ♪

♪ Chase me into your flame ♪

♪ But drag me down ♪

♪ With all your pain ♪

The powers that be or should I say

the powers that pee are still pissing down

on Ballylough there in Cavan

Pe-ware if you're heading there,

make a p-line for the rain gear!

Okay, not my best.

Sorry, the weather seems to have dampened been my mood!

Yeah, I'm back.

What is it today?

Oh, erm... "Pay up you motherfucking cocksucker."

Now, Phil.

It wasn't enough for them to accuse me

of fornicating with our poor dead mother,

but to be committing lewd acts with men on top of it,

all in one breath.

Just... I suppose you'd have to admire

their economy of words if nothing else.

So I think I know how to stop the rain.

- Okay. - Come.

I'm driving, bitch.

So what are we doing here?

The Child of Prague.

Aw, for fuck's sake.

You put the statue out at night and then when you wake up

in the morning, it's sunny.

It's a stupid superstition.

Do you have any suggestions? Hm?

- Not one. - Well, there's...

there is one thing we could do.

It involves high-pressure dissolution.

You see if we could shift the air pressure

from around the town to the neighboring village

that could move the rain.

That would involve getting multiple solar air heaters

- and putting them in every... - So Child of Prague it is then.

The Child of Prague.

One of my favorites.

You see how flamboyant the little Jesus is here?

Christian world resting nonchalantly in one hand

and a cool Benedict timed posture in the other.

In the '70s, there was a hip version of this

with Jesus in bell bottoms and open lapel shirt.

Disco ball in one hand and a peace symbol

posed effortlessly in the other.

It didn't sell though.

Just didn't have the market at the time.

You two getting married soon?

- No. - No.

So sorry, I just presumed.

How many Children of Prague have you got?

Here's my card.

- And the rules. - The rules?

There are rules to the Child of Prague.

If you don't obey the rules,

the rain won't stop.

"Rule one, the Child of Prague should be placed in the garden."

"Rule two, the Child of Prague must be facing the house."

"Rule three, the Child of Prague must be beheaded."

"Rule four, the Child of Prague's head

must be glued back on."

"Rule five, the final and most important rule,

it must be the night before the couple's wedding."

Couple's wedding?

I didn't know about that rule.

Neither did I.

Kind of a big one.

Probably an important one too.

Yeah.

What you...

Huh?

Nothing.

Should we get married?

Yeah.

For the rules.

Of course, for rules.

Rules are important.

Okay.

Hi, Father Gilhooley.

Sorry, yeah, uh, Jimmy Cullen here.

I was wondering, could you do an emergency service tomorrow?

Uh, a wedding.

Uh, no, ha ha, more of a semtex wedding

than an... a shotgun wedding.

Is this an IRA thing?

No, it's a wedding thing. In Ballylough

I'm sure there's no church down in

that God forsaken hellhole anymore, we boarded it up.

Can we get married in another church, any church?

I'm blessing a sick, dying child tomorrow afternoon.

In the evening?

I've got no tomorrow evening.

- In the morning? - I...

I like to sleep in and catch a series on Netflix

on a Tuesday morning.

We have money.

Well, I suppose I could put off the blessing of the sick,

dying child to another day.

Thanks.

If the Child of Prague doesn't work,

do we have to follow through with the rules?

You don't want to marry me now?

Why do you have to go, Jimmy?

Nothing for me here.

Only a road of shame.

No.

I'm sorry.

I don't want you to do that.

I don't want you to love me.

I'm sorry, I can't.

I'm not able.

Something happened seven years ago.

I was driving Patricia, my ex,

and some friends of ours to a disco.

They were drinking and I was speeding.

♪ Speeding like a bullet, baby ♪

♪ Freeing my soul ♪

♪ Speeding like a bullet, baby ♪

The radio got all fucked.

- Oh, come on! - Oh come on, get it back.

I told her, don't touch the fucking knob.

Can I have that in writing?

There's a knack, the stations are set.

Don't touch... look.

And there it was.

Two big bright headlights heading straight for me.

What are you going to do in a situation like that?

Only crash.

No. No. I don't want that.

I'm no good. I haven't...

Not in years, sorry.

Don't go, I don't want you to go.

Please, I'd like you to stay.

If you want to stay.

Please.

- Jimmy? - Yeah?

When it stops raining...

Are you going to kill yourself?

Yes.

I hope it never stops raining.

Holy fuck!

Yes.

♪ I'm a little bird In my birdhouse ♪

♪ Watch my wings uncurl Watch me fly away as I ♪

♪ Go anywhere because I don't have a nothin', no ♪

♪ Stop me if you can and I'll Pick out your eye balls ♪

♪ You're a little doll In your dollhouse ♪

♪ You're a wrecking ball Nothing stopping you ♪

♪ From taking back everything That they took from you ♪

Can we come in, Damien?

Right, ah, so, uh, do you... do you want some tea?

I'd love a cup of tea actually, cheers.

D... Do you want... Do you want a cup...

- No. - No. Oh. Do you... Do you want...

Thanks, but we're not here for the fucking tea.

Do you still want that cup of tea though?

Uh, no. No, I better not.

So, what do you want?

Uh, this is Harry Gilsenan

and he's the owner of, uh, Lake Oil Plastics.

Local councillor to the area.

A-a-and the local councillor to the, uh...

Chairman to the club.

A-and chairman to the club.

What do you want?

Damien, Jimmy.

We come in peace.

Let bygones be bygones,

be gone and all of that.

But we've heard something that is,

how would you say, troubling us; so it is.

This rain is destroying our little town.

Everything is dying.

All businesses are shutting down.

Would your factory be one of these businesses?

All the businesses except the pubs are gone, Jimmy.

And most worrying is our children

are turning into fucking zombies.

Not a word spoken since the rain started.

And since yesterday morning they stopped eating.

- They're starving... - Shut the fuck up, you!

What Biff is trying to say here is, we fear the worst.

What's this got to do with us?

I'm a God-fearing man,

but I'm not a superstitious man.

I've bulldozed fairy forts for profit, and proud of it.

But we've been led to believe that the day your father died,

was the day the rain started pissing down.

That this strange phen...

Pheno...

Phenom-enom-enom-en...

Phen... Phenomenon.

- Phe... - Phenomenon.

Fucked up situation

is linked to the fucked up situation

of you having your dead father in your freezer.

You need to bury him and end this plague once and for all.

Now...

how much do you want

to cover the cost of the funeral?

You think...

this act of God is caused by my father?

Oh, yes.

Which would mean that my father...

is God.

I didn't say that now.

Which would make me the Son of God.

Go on out of that now.

If I am the Son of God,

then I am the Lord here on Earth.

to deliver God's judgment.

- Judgment? - Did you ever think this plague

might be God's judgment on you?

Now listen to your cunty hooks,

bury your father or they'll be hell to pay.

Would you think the 10 plagues of Egypt were acts of God?

What?

The Bible. The plagues.

Do you think they were acts of God?

Yes, they were acts of God, didn't the Bible

say they were acts of God?

Yeah.

Or maybe there's another way of looking at it Mr. Gilsenan.

In the first plague, God turned the water

into blood; did he not?

I've always wondered about that.

Was it God's great show of power to the Pharaoh?

Or maybe it was something else.

Maybe the burgundy-colored algae in the Nile

turned the water that blood-red color.

Algae attracts tadpoles, and the water changing color

would have stressed the tadpoles

and stressed tadpoles

develop into frogs literally overnight.

I didn't know that about stressed tadpoles.

Which would explain the second plague,

the plague of frogs.

And as millions of frogs died in the hot sun

insects would have flourished.

Especially lice and swarms of flies

as in plague three and four.

Insects carry diseases,

bringing plagues to livestock, and boils, and rashes,

plague five and six.

Of course in ancient Egypt,

great angry volcanoes hailed out storms of fire

and ash into the air.

And hot air carries huge quantities of water.

So after such storms must have come heavy rain

and locusts thrive in the

fall out of a flood,

plague seven and eight. So now I'm thinking,

maybe this extreme rain we're having

isn't some miraculous act of God.

Maybe the heating of the planet might have

something to do with it.

Maybe this storm is man-made.

Maybe your plastic factory has contributed

in no small part to this plague we're having Mr. Gilsenan.

Maybe you are the cause of the closed businesses,

and the dead animals,

and the starving children.

There's your plague nine.

Three days of darkness.

Your eldest son's in his 20s; is he not Mr. Gilsenan?

It a tragic fact that after a flood

there's an unexplainable rise in suicide amongst young men.

Plague 10, death of the firstborn.

My father has nothing to do with the rain.

And he'll be buried when it stops, as he wished.

Wishes are for people that have use for a thing like a wish.

As in alive people.

Dead people are for burying.

It's his funeral.

And he'll have it as he wanted it.

You'll change your mind.

And if we don't,

perhaps Patricia Smith will.

Patricia, what's she got to do with this?

It's one thing to abandon your child,

it's another to let her die.

What are you talking about?

Your daughter.

Oh, you didn't know.

We'll be in touch.

I can't be a father.

I can't be one of them.

Jimmy.

♪ This song tells you A sorry tale ♪

♪ Some men have riches And some men fail ♪

♪ Don't trust a lady Who wears a ring ♪

♪ Don't pay the man Who thinks he's king ♪

♪ I'm leaving on this Southbound train ♪

♪ Let it burn ♪

♪ Well I took me a wife And I... ♪

- Oh, Jesus! - Hello son.

Running away again, are we?

And in a stolen car.

But then, what would you expect from a thief?

I'm never going to leave you alone boy.

You can lock me away in freezers all you want,

but I'll still be here,

in the backseat of your head till the day you die.

End it all now Jimmy.

End it you little bollocks, you kill yourself.

You've killed everyone else.

You even killed your own mother.

Fucking thief.

Stand up. Stand up!

No! No!

Get off me.

Jimmy!

Jimmy!

No.

Wasn't my fault.

This is a story you told me.

A car hit her. That's what happened.

And you blamed me and I forgive you.

It's over now.

The past doesn't exist.

And I'm getting off this road.

Trish!

I thought I told you to fuck off.

I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on.

- Go away. - Have I got a child, Trish?

- So a child, he says? - Yeah.

Well, maybe he knows more than I do but last time I checked

there wasn't a baby knocker on my fanny.

Was it a boy or girl I had?

A girl.

Ooh, a girl, nice.

I think if we were to have a fiction child,

a fictional daughter would be nice, don't you?

She'd be what? Seven now, I suppose?

If the conception happened just before you fucked off

and left me to die,

or left us to die as it would be

if there was a fictional child involved too.

Makes you even worse actually,

Didn't think that was humanly possible.

Where are you going?

To get a biscuit.

Oh. Fine.

So, I have somewhere I need to go soon, so, um...

but thanks for calling and maybe you should go now.

- What was that? - Nothing.

- There's a bell. - Oh, the bell.

- Why is your bell ringing? - Isn't that what bells do?

What's it for?

The bell? It's... It's a clock telling me it is...

Twenty-two minutes past twelve?

It's 22 minutes slow.

- Is there someone else here? - No.

Yeah, my boyfriend.

Why does he cough like a girl?

He's sick. It's an odd sickness,

coughing like a girl is one of its many odd symptoms.

Other symptoms include jealous violent rage, now go.

Never heard of a sickness like that.

Jimmy, would you just fuck off?

I'm not going until I find out who is ringing that bell.

What's it to you whose ringing the bell?

I'm going to find out either way, Patricia.

This is Mary Lou.

Mary Lou, honey.

This is Jimmy.

Hi Mary Lou, I'm Jimmy.

I just said that.

She got your eyes.

Yeah.

- My mouth. - No, she doesn't.

You're beautiful sweetie, aren't you?

Poor baby has refused to say a word since the rain started.

See you soon,.

You weren't going to tell me?

How was I supposed to tell you,

- a fucking smoke signal? - I am her father.

Okay. What's her name then, Jimmy?

Her name is May,

Maisie, Maggie, it's triple barreled.

Melissa, Marite, Marina.

Rebecca... no. Mary.

Mary Joe, Jonjo.

You think my daughter's name is Jonjo?

- I can help. - Can you?

- Have you healing powers? - Why, is she sick?

How sick is she? She stopped eating?

Jesus.

- What the fuck are you doing? - Wha?

- Did you just try to kiss me? - Did I?

- Yeah. - Sorry.

Why did you do that?

Sorry. I thought that was what you wanted.

What the fuck would make you think that?

I'm crying my eyes out over the imminent death

of my only daughter, and you thought

that was the perfect time

to lob the fucking gob?

- No. - Then why?

- I'm sorry. - Why?

I thought I just felt-

- Felt what? - Nothing.

You better fucking answer me, you fucking coward.

I felt sorry for you.

Please leave, Jimmy.

Is there anything I could do?

Unless you know how to stop the rain,

fuck off and die.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, what the hell...

we're not cooking the fucker.

- Hi. - Hi.

What are you doing?

Thawing him out.

Why?

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee

blessed art thou amongst women

and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

- Holy Mary, mother of God... - Finish it!

Oh, eh... May his soul and the soul of all the faithful

be a part of the mercy of God rest in peace, Amen.

♪ Her daddy got A big aeroplane ♪

♪ Her mommy holds All the family cash ♪

♪ A beautiful blows, I stay at the corner ♪

♪ She is living In and out of tune ♪

♪ Hey you ♪

♪ You're losing... ♪

Why the child?

Answer me you fucking fraud!

How can I end this?

Say something!

Show me one meaningful act!

Come on!

Hello, Jimmy.

Jimmy...

Have you got any fags?

Fags?

Cigarettes-like.

Sorry, I've... I've only rollies.

Oh.

But I can roll you one.

That'd be nice.

Thank you.

Light us up there too like a good lad, please.

I have no light.

Cool.

My hands are stuck like this for all eternity Jimmy,

so if you don't mind, you're going to have to.

Oh, right.

Oh, that's good.

Thank you.

So, Jimmy, you were calling my son a fraud, were you not?

I was just looking for answers,

our lady. My lady.

Mary.

Mary.

Jesus can't answer you Jimmy because Jesus is dead.

He died for you.

Is that not a meaningful enough of an act for you?

I didn't mean that, I just... I was...

I was scared.

It's normal to be scared.

Jesus my little boy was scared too but he had faith.

He knew in his heart of hearts there's no greater love

for no one than to lay down one's life for one's friends.

But to lay down one's life, one's own flesh

and blood is a sacrifice all much glory-er.

Love is the only thing that can heal Jimmy.

There's no greater love than sacrifice.

What do you mean sacrifice?

Your father is buried and the rain still pours.

No soul can rest in the realms of the afterlife

until his murder is avenged.

- Murder? - It is a sacred duty

of the son to avenge the murder of his father.

What murder? Who?

You.

Me?

No, that was an accident.

In one meaningful act,

you can avenge your father,

save your daughter, and stop this plague.

One meaningful act, Jimmy.

One meaningful act.

Now you do have a reason to die.

I don't want to die now.

Take it all back.

I don't want to die. I don't want...

It's been 40 days of perpetual rain now

and I've run out of rain puns.

I... I have nothing.

This amount of rain does that to a man.

What happened to your nose?

What, this? Ah, nothing.

Just stood up too quick, I think.

How much do you owe?

What are you talking about? I don't owe any money.

How much?

grand.

Okay.

I have to tell you something Damien.

I have a plan.

There is something I want you to do for me tonight.

Something you're not going to like.

Masha.

Where?

Community center. Right.

Masha?

Where is Masha?

It doesn't take much for a girl like that

to hang a person like you.

Just a few drug charges.

- What do you want? - Your brother told me

what happened in the church today, Jimmy.

If your children are dying right in front of you,

you believe anything.

Do anything.

What do you mean anything?

I'd take my own life if I had to.

But it's not mine they want,

and to stop this God forsaken rain

means you having to sacrifice yourself...

Then I will do everything in my power to make that happen.

The moment came

when the cloak of mist that hid him from his enemies

disappeared and he stood upon the edge,

God's highway.

You're beautiful sweetie, aren't you?

The giant Barabbas beat his chest like a drum.

As the Great Flood hails down,

Pilate washes his hands and says to the crowd,

I am innocent of this man's blood,

see it to yourselves.

Despite being beaten, punched, and kicked.

He rises ragged with phlegm and the pain

of a thousand memories, he rises.

And on he surges,

down his path of shame to a place of the skull.

I have to tell you something, Damien.

I have a plan.

- Jimmy. - Masha.

I did what you said. It's all set up.

- Where? - I said we're meeting

at the community center.

There's something I want you to do for me

Tonight.

Something you're not going to like.

You and Masha are going to betray me

and hand me over to Harry Gilsenan.

Your brother told me what happened

in the church today, Jimmy.

And you're going to do it for a price they can pay.

And the winner of the Ballylough lotto

after 10 years is Damien Cullen.

Thank you. Yes!

Your mother who worked in Cavan.

Let the silver branch dangle...

To flood this world once more.

Now you do have a reason to die.

Jimmy!

♪ I painted my nails so pretty ♪

♪ I painted them just for you ♪

♪ But you wouldn't even notice if my face was turning blue ♪

- ♪ What can I do to get you... ♪ - Holy fuck!

♪ To spend some time with me? ♪

♪ An hour would do, I just want to tell you ♪

♪ Your face is all that I see ♪

♪ I'm crazy cause I'm in love again ♪

♪ It's happened six times this year ♪

♪ This time it's you and no this won't do ♪

♪ You're handsome, you're easy, you're there ♪

I was close to death there.

What was there?

Nothing.

Just a sort of luminous darkness.

I was grasping and gasping for air and I just let go.

The moment I let go the most extraordinary thing happened.

What?

You saved me.

Well, that just about finishes us up

here in good old county of Cavan.

All the children went back to playing,

all the adults went back doing...

whatever the hell it is adults do.

As for us, well,

we're all heading to another sad old town

to play the guitar and sing them old blues.

♪ It felt like floating ♪

♪ It felt like floating ♪

♪ Your body was warm ♪

♪ When I laid by your side ♪

♪ I said I'm glad I have found you ♪

♪ And I'm glad we're alive ♪

♪ It feels like floating ♪

♪ It seems like floating ♪

♪ It feels like floating ♪

♪ We laid by a river ♪

♪ We looked at the stars ♪

♪ I said how tiny we are ♪

♪ Girl, how tiny we are ♪

♪ It feels like floating ♪

♪ It feels like floating ♪

♪ It feels like floating ♪

♪ A lifetime is short ♪

♪ Girl, and death is so long ♪

♪ I don't believe in no heaven ♪

♪ I just hope that I'm wrong ♪

♪ I hope we're floating ♪

♪ I hope we're floating ♪

♪ There's much in the world I don't understand ♪

♪ It just makes much more sense ♪

♪ With my hands in your hand ♪

♪ It feels like floating ♪

♪ It feels like floating ♪

♪ It feels like floating ♪

♪ It feels like floating ♪

♪ It feels like floating ♪

♪ It feels like floating ♪

♪ It feels like floating ♪

♪ It feels like floating ♪

♪ It feels like floating ♪

♪ It feels like floating ♪

♪ It feels like floating ♪

♪ It feels like ♪

♪ I'm a little bird in my birdhouse ♪

♪ Watch my wings unfurl Watch me fly away as I ♪

♪ Go anywhere because I don't have nothing, no ♪

♪ Stop me if you can and I'll pick out your eyeballs ♪

Hello, sun, sun, sun in the little village

of Ballylough or should I say Bally-sunblock!

Oh... I'm sorry. Sorry about that.

That was a bit dry!

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull