Original subtitles

[school bell rings]

- What do cave paintings teach us

about early caveman life?

They teach us cavemen were pigs and vandals

who needed discipline to keep them from drawing on walls.

Let me tell you about hieroglyphics...

- Welcome to Mrs. Godfrey's social studies class,

where learning goes to die.

I mean, don't get me wrong. Most teachers are great.

They work hard. Don't get paid enough.

Cry in their cars.

They're basically heroes.

Godfrey, though.

Godfrey is the devil! [growls]

No, no, no. Wait, not the devil.

Chalkzilla.

[roars]

Ours is a battle eternal.

Who will win? Undecided.

But I promise you this: I will not fail.

My school. Nay, the world, needs--

- Nate Wright!

Detention. - [grunts]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Oof!

[upbeat music]

♪ Don't wanna go to school today ♪

♪ The sun is red-hot and I wanna play ♪

♪ But if I get caught, they'll make me pay ♪

♪ Detention again ♪

♪ Math and social studies just ain't my thing ♪

♪ Rockin' with my band is where I'm king ♪

♪ Stealin' a teacher's teeth or bailin' on a test ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

[clatters]

- Heard about Godfrey.

- Price of greatness. What can I do?

Whoa! Dee Dee.

Why are dressed like a peanut? - [grunts]

Ah! Get me my EpiPen!

- I'm a cashew actually.

Drama club is doing a reimagining of the play

"A Raisin in the Sun" from the raisin's POV.

It's about a bag of trail mix

that dreams of being more than just a snack for hippies.

[gobbling]

- I wouldn't miss it.

Unless I ended up in a coma. Fingers crossed.

- Nate, friend emergency!

Nate, is it true?

- Lot of ways I can answer that, Francis.

All of them awesome.

- Did you get detention again?

- Oh, yeah, but it's--

- That's your fourth detention this week.

One more, and you'll be...

Gunted. - Gunted?!

No. Nooooo.

Wait, what's gunting?

- Let me tell you about the Legend of the Gunting.

Brad Gunter was the most notorious kid at P.S. 38.

A legendary prankster and my personal hero.

He replaced every Frisbee in school

with hunks of baloney.

He made a replica of Principal Nichols' car...

- [yelps] - out of slime.

He mounted an entire eighth-grade science class

on the ceiling.

[all grunting] Six kids went to the hospital.

All of them said it was worth it.

Brad Gunter was the first kid at P.S. 38

to get five detentions in one week.

After that, Brad Gunter disappeared.

No one ever saw him again.

- According to legend, since then,

any kid who gets five detentions disappears as well.

- [gasps] Don't let them gunt you down!

They can salt me. They can coat me in honey.

They can even roast me,

but I'll never give up where you are.

That's from my monologue in the play.

- Look, getting gunted isn't a problem

because I only have two detentions, including--

- Uh, think again.

- [grunts]

- Detention one.

- Who'd like to feed Sheila?

- I got this, Mr. G.

- Ah! Their claws are like a hundred scissors!

- Detention two.

- Need some help, Mr. Rosa?

- Thanks, Nate, but only teachers are legally authorized

to touch school equipment.

- [laughs] Right. Like that's a real law.

[all grunt, then scream]

- Detention three.

And including the one from this morning--

- Okay. Okay, fine.

But it's Thursday, so the chances of me getting--

- It's Tuesday.

- What?! Tuesday?

Francis, how could you let this happen?

- Me? - You're the obsessive,

trustworthy one who's supposed to save me from myself.

- [chuckles] Burn.

- I have a responsibility to my fan base at P.S. 38

not to disappear.

They need me for leadership, inspiration,

and most importantly, dream weaving.

- Nate Wright speaks truth to power.

- Okay, so what are you going to do?

- Only thing I can do:

lay low until the Gunting is over.

[mysterious music]

♪ ♪

- Laying low. Hoo-ha! [school bell rings]

[laughter]

- Nate Wright!

- Oh, no! Mrs. Godfrey!

- [laughs]

Oh, I got you good, man.

- Aw, come on, Teddy.

Well, okay. I guess you heard too.

- Oh, yeah.

Nate Wright's possible Gunting, big news!

[laughs]

[sadly] I'm going to miss you. - Everyone's attention.

Principal Nichols is here to address the class.

Please show him more respect than you've ever shown me.

- Oh... - [whimpers]

- Hello, fellow kids.

Can I get a "what-what"?!

- What-what!

all: Ugh.

- Fabulous! All right.

So your favorite principal needs a favor.

A new student starts today-- Bentley Carter.

- Bentley Carter?

As in the Carter family who owns half of Maine?

- Why would they send their kid here to P.S. 38?

There are more rats in the school than students.

- Only during mating season.

[laughs nervously, then clears throat]

What I do know is that now, if all goes well,

his rich parents might finally build us

that drone racetrack you've all been asking for it.

Heh, heh?

- I don't think we've ever asked for that.

- Not once. - Nope.

- So I need someone to show Bentley around.

I would consider it...

a personal favor.

- [gasps] "Personal favor"?

Ooh! Uh, Principal Nichols.

[school bell rings] [laughter]

- Nate, my boy, I can't thank you enough for doing this.

- Hey, I'm just glad I can help.

- Ah, here's our new recruit now.

- Huh?

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

- [giggles darkly] [fly buzzes]

- Oh, uh, I thought he was supposed to be crazy rich.

- You got the "crazy" part right.

- Bentley Carter meet Nate Wright,

one of our standout students.

He's offered to show you around.

- Hey, man. Nice to meet you.

- [giggles darkly] - [grunts]

- I'm sensing a love connection here, heh?

Which means my responsibility is done.

Drone Racetrack. Make me proud.

- Check it out.

I pranked the principal and stole his underpants.

all: What? - Bentley!

That...is impressive.

- Bentley, you can't steal the principal's underwear.

- I guess that means I should give his wallet back too.

- Whoa. Okay.

Bentley, that's gone far enough.

- Hmm?

Oh.

Oh, no. Not again.

- Oh, that was close. But listen, Bentley, you--

- He just ran off down the hall, giggling.

- [giggles darkly]

- Give me back my crutches-- oof!

[ominous moan]

[Italian mob music]

♪ ♪

[dramatic musical sting] - [gasps]

Oh, my!

The vegetarian surprise has run away.

Again.

- P.S. 38 can feel a little big, Bentley,

but once you find your place, things get easier.

- I noticed there's no locks on the fences.

What keeps you guys from escaping?

[giggles darkly]

So I hear you're a prank guy, like me.

Maybe we could team up, like Jack the Ripper and Dracula.

- Those were bad guys.

- [chuckles]

Baby steps, Bentley. I'm pretty advanced.

[grunts] - Hey, watch out.

- Hey, Nate, check this prank out.

[grunting]

[panting]

- Oh, I'd say that's more malicious vandalism

than a prank, but good try, Bentley.

Uh, Bentley?

- [sighs] He took off giggling again.

- Hey, that's school property!

- You've seen our ball, sixth-grader?

- Ball? What is this ball you speak of?

[laughs nervously]

- Let's get him! He's trying to confuse us.

- We need to find out more about Bentley Carter.

- Wet towels go in the bin near the door, Bentley.

Forget, and Coach John will lose it.

Right, Chad? - Oh yeah.

He takes it really seriously.

[whispers] He was in the war.

- What does that have to do with wet towels?

- I have no idea.

- [whistles]

- [giggles darkly]

- [screams] Thundering marsupials!

We're under attack! Wait, what?

- [whistles]

- Hey, Coach John.

[alarm blares]

- Chad! [whistle toots]

- Thank you for your service.

- I still think Nate's freaking out over nothing.

Brad Gunter is a myth.

Like Big Foot. Or trans fats.

- Group meeting under the table. Now.

- Mm-mm-mm.

- This is just like the table I sleep under at home.

- Problems with your new BFF Bentley?

- Yes! And whose fault is that, Francis?

- Me? I didn't see them trying to stop you volunteering.

- [laughs] Oh, I'd never trust myself to give advice.

I know my limitations.

- And I was in character as a cashew.

If the subject had been dry roasting, maybe.

- Okay. Okay. Okay.

Francis knows he messed up. No need to rub it in.

- Ugh. - We need to do something

or Bentley's pranks are gonna get me gunted.

- Hmm. I bet we can get a look at his transcripts.

- Code Red at 12:00.

- All right, meeting's over.

Get up there and get rid of him before he spots me.

- Hey there, classmates. Nate around?

I wanted to show him this jar of wingless murder crickets

I'm gonna release on the lunch line.

They are the biting kind.

Don't ask who tore off the wings.

It was me. [murder crickets shrieking]

- You can't let him do it!

- Oh. Sorry, Bentley.

Nate left already.

Could you hold off on the crickets a skosh?

[chuckles] Yeah, I'm sure he wouldn't want to miss it.

- Gotcha. I don't want to disappoint him.

I never had a bestie before, like Nate.

- I know he feels the same-- [yelps]

- Is anyone gonna eat that burrito?

- Oh, that's Chad's, but he's-- - [giggles darkly]

- Oh! Oh, there's beans in my eyes.

Beans! - Galvin's hit.

- [yawns] Hey, what did I miss?

- He did it!

- Chad! [whistle toots]

- [giggles darkly]

- Now get on those transcripts or more innocents like Chad

are gonna get hurt. [crashes]

- So any fun plans for today at school?

[both muttering]

[chuckles] I get it.

I didn't like school either when I was your age.

Then I got older and life came along

and my dreams of being a musician gave way

to the reality of being a single dad

and making a living, and, uh...

I'm gonna go get some more milk from the cow--the fridge,

in the garage. [sobbing]

- So I hear you're gonna get gunted.

♪ A-gunting you will go, a-gunting you will go ♪

- What?! Who told you that? - You think we don't hear

about that kind of stuff in high school?

Oh, and FYI, I am totally using your bedroom

as a Pilates studio when you inevitably disappear.

- The Gunting is a legend.

[chuckles] Nobody really believes it.

Right?

[spooky music]

[evil laughter]

- You sure we're supposed to meet Dee Dee now?

- Yep. If we're gonna find anything on Bentley,

it'll be in Principal Nichol's office.

And just after lunch

is when he takes his secret nap in his car.

- [snoring]

- The internet is going to love this.

- Not really much of a secret.

- All that matters is his office is empty.

[flashy spy music]

- Why are you dressed like a...mall piano player?

- Yeah, one that goes home alone every night

to his 20 year old cat

and cries into a bowl of cold spaghetti.

Aw, I'm gonna call my Abuelo.

- I'm in character as Jane Bond

from last year's all-female re-imagining

of the 007 classic, "Thunderball."

♪ ♪

I took an online course on espionage for research.

Picked up a few things.

Stay close.

All clear.

Fan out.

- Let's see.

"Drone & Country."

"Drone Appetit."

"This Old Drone."

Hmm...

- Huh, transcripts.

[gasps]

Guys, check this out. [both gasp]

We need to tell someone about this

before that fifth detention Nate is avoiding

[dramatically] finally catches up to him.

- Bentley, you have to stop! - [giggles darkly]

- And where did you get all these piglets?

[pigs oinking]

[panting]

- Oh. Hey, new bestie.

You going to the assembly?

- Bentley, the pranks need to stop.

If they don't, someone's going to get hurt.

- [giggles darkly]

Isn't that what makes pranks fun? The pain?

- No! I mean... [chuckles]

Look, look, I get it. You admire me.

I mean, see the respect I get.

- Seems like most people just ignore you.

- It's subtle. Look regardless, I'm done.

I can't keep protecting you.

- I didn't ask for your protection.

Wait, what's the matter, Nate?

Afraid of a little competition?

- Oh, no. Nate Wright knows no fear.

Yeah, that's right.

I'm speaking in the third person.

- I like this school. Think I might stay awhile.

Thought we'd make a good team, but if not,

maybe we'd make for better rivals

like Frankenstein and Amelia Earhart.

[happily] Gotta go!

Don't want to be late for the assembly.

Or should I say "disassembly"?

[giggles darkly]

- [growls]

- "Destined for awesomeness"?

Pfft. Right.

- You okay over there? - [gasps]

Hello?

Oh, sorry. I thought I was alone.

- I can hear you moping from over here.

What's going on? - [sighs]

You know that feeling when something bad is gonna happen,

and, well, you want to stop it, but if you do,

you'll get that fifth detention and disappear

and never see your friends again

or be able to shoot cheesy snacks into your dad's face?

[whimpers]

That's how I feel.

Like I blew it instead of being who I want to be.

Who I should be.

- "Destined for awesomeness"? - Yeah.

I mean, I didn't think it would be so hard.

- [chuckles]

If it was easy, Nate, everyone would be awesome.

- Hey, wait, how do you know who I am?

Who are you?

- I go by many names.

The ancient Mayans called me Babajide el Embaucador.

In the time of Romans,

I was known as Augustus Qui Decipitur.

But here, at P.S. 38,

you know me by a different name.

- Brad Gunter?!

But according to legend,

Brad Gunter disappeared years ago.

How can you be here? - [chuckles]

I'm a legend, kid,

and legends get to come and go as they please.

You could be a legend someday too

if you remember one simple thing.

- Oh, yeah? What's that?

- Those who are destined for awesomeness

never keep their heads down.

[heroic music]

My work here is done.

[toilet flushes]

- Hmm? [gasps]

Whoa! I have no idea if that really just happened,

but it doesn't matter because I know what I need to do.

all: Whoa!

[screaming]

- [chuckles nervously] - Ow! My sternum.

- Before we begin, I'd like to thank the janitorial staff

for their continued gum initiative.

As of today, they have collected over 40 pounds of gum

from beneath school desks now, children.

[janitorial staff screaming]

According to the science teachers,

some of that gum is from 1821,

which is curiously before the school was built.

So, way to hustle, boys. Way to hustle.

Way to hu--oh, that's a lot of gum. That's a lot of gum.

[crashes] - Ow! My other sternum.

- Now to proceed with today's assembly,

I am here to talk to you about...

- Oh, no.

[dramatic music]

- [giggles darkly]

- Oh, this is exciting, kids, because...

- [gasps]

- Hmm? Hmm.

[evil laughter]

- [panting]

Sometimes the choice is simple.

Your social studies teacher has turned

into a Kaiju monster

and you must slay her before danger comes to the princess,

who, in this case, is your principal.

- [cutely] Oh, hi!

- Which actually looks pretty good on him.

[grunting]

[heroic music]

♪ ♪

[screams, then grunts]

[all scream]

- Oh.

So that's where the vegetarian surprise went.

[moans]

- [softly] Nate. Hey, Nate. - Huh? What?

[growls] Nate. Wake up. You're a hero!

- [groans] A little help.

[splattering]

- Uh, no, thank you. - [gags]

You smell like an otter bathing in hot dog water.

- I was gonna say burnt cabbage lathered in diaper sauce.

- What happened?

- We found Bentley's transcript.

- Did he fill this out in crayon?

- Yeah, and check out the photo above his name.

- Nichols must have been so excited

about getting a rich kid in this school,

he never looked at the transcripts.

- You can't prove that.

- So if Bentley's not Bentley, then who's Bentley?

- Turns out his real name is Merl Lazenbee

and he's an escapee

from the Institution for Criminally Insane Tweens.

Apparently, he's done this same thing before at other schools.

- Fortunately, Dee Dee alerted me.

I, in turn, called my lawyer, who after determining

the school was not liable, called the authorities.

- I'll get your underpants!

I'll get all your underpantses!

Oh, we'll see each other again.

Might not be for another 40 years,

but you and me, we got a bond, Nate Wright.

Like Stalin and Hercules.

- Can't wait!

Hold on. Yes, I can. Buh-bye.

- Phew! I owe you, Nate,

and your friends, a debt of thanks.

- So I'm not gonna get that fifth detention?

- Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

You're still a degenerate.

- No. In fact, after what you've done for the school,

I'm clearing all your detentions.

- [growls]

- This week.

- [laughs nervously]

- ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪

- And there you have it.

Brad Gunter was right.

Those destined for awesomeness never keep their heads down.

Yep. You see how they look at me.

The envy. Jealousy.

Admiration.

Heavy is the head that wears the crown.

Fortunately, I draw a really good crown.

- Nate Wright. - Huh?

- Someday, you'll be awesome too.

I can feel it.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Will you stand above me? ♪ [laughter]

♪ Look my way, never love me ♪

♪ Rain keeps-- ♪ [clang]

- Sorry!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪