Original subtitles

.Srt by theonlyh

Everybody!

It's here!

It's here...

Hey, what's here?

It's here

Hey, what?

Hurry up What's here?

It's here...

It's here ... Come on...

Hurry up, come on...

Mum, I want to go

Go on, be careful

It's here...

To the left

Right a little

West, face west

Do you know which way is west?

I said west

Just face east

East, east

Flint...

Flint, the paper's here, read it for us!

Garlic & Onion, just wait a moment

Wow

Leftovers

You two must be stupid

It takes a month to get here from the Capital

It becomes old news

What's interesting about it?

Come on, let me see what's interesting

There's a new literature scholar

He's from the Capital

Take a look, here's how he looks like, just like this

Looking like this?

Doesn't look smart at all

The chilies this year are much spicier than last year

A few people even died from eating them

The government has new guidelines...

One

A prosecutor can only hit the drums lightly 3 times

to avoid disturbance to the current case

Punishable by caning 30 times

Two

Drunk driving carriage will be fined 2 dollars

Serve 6 months suspension and confiscation of horse

Three...

Flipping heck, do the words have to be so small?

Garlic...

Take this further away

Still further

More

I'm really getting old

Even further

The government is into the red,

all workers will...

reduce their wages accordingly through the hard times

You can see that far away?

Excellent eyesight Amazing!

What's good eyesight for in this tiny village

Don't be so pessimistic

Your talent won't go wasted

But what should we do about the cutback?

Oh, it's gone

The rope snapped, this is fate

The newspaper is gone

I can't quite remember what it says

Why don't we forget about it

and see what it says on next month's paper, alright?

Hey, dinner time, dinner time

Let's go, let's go...

That's west

Right from the oven, fresh and soft

These are for you two Thank you

Here it is

I've added some rose extracts to these buns

I've saved these for you girls

Will we get fat eating these?

Of course not

Then why am I eating them!

Yeah, I've lost my appetite and weight lately

My husband complains I don't look good skinny

Lost weight from where?

Hey, Rouge

You are really losing face for your husband

Look at how thin you are

People will think he's starving you

Exactly! If there is nothing on your body

Men can't get up by themselves

Just look at you

You are just bag of bones

Flat as a plain

Your husband would have more fun

hugging Onion and Garlic back in the village hall

Nevermind

Just get us the fattest bun to boost our weight

With sausages

Yeah... No problem

Wow... Darling

You girls should be careful of heart attack

What do you know!

Off work so early?

There's nothing to do

That's right

I'll let you catch up with these beauties

I'm going to watch some chess Okay

Hey, Rouge

Being the head of guards doesn't earn that much

And Flint doesn't even help out at the shop

Just hang around all day and being lazy

I don't know what you love about him?

No... not this move

Move the bishop, then the knight

Move your rook out, then checkmate...

Hey, you play this game

You sit down

No, no, sorry, you carry on

En passe

No... you should move this!

Gosh, you are stupid

Alright, come on...

No... I shouldn't, you just carry on

The thing is, he's too thin

and not in a good way either

Look at Jim, he's thin too

but looks so much better

Never you mind

Idiot

That's the way I like him

Gosh, I can't pull the needle through such a big hole

What're you doing?

I'm free, so I'm doing some sewing

Free?

Why don't you shave off your beard, you messy

In a couple of days, a couple of days

A couple of days? You haven't shaved in 2 years

You don't have to work so hard on the dough

No one's here, why don't you use your superpower?

Look, you are at it again

I've told you thousand times

We are normal people and they don't have superpowers

You have to remember

I know

Wow, how does a normal person have such strength?

Roaches, I hate roaches

Smells good

What is it?

Who wouldn't know you've got superpower

if you take the hot steam basket out bare handed

Use a cloth

Be careful, you know

You, be careful, you know

Come... My back is killing me

Darling, why don't you soak your feet first

Then I'll give you a soapy massage

Oh... yeah, right on

Darling

How tired are you in a grade out of five?

4 and a half, plus little extra

Understand

What the hell?

Darling

Are you happy here after all these years?

Do you like it here?

So why don't we settle down and buy a house

Decorate it however we like?

Really?

You mean after all these years

We can finally have our own home?

Are you alright?

That felt good

That scared me

After all these years of work

I've saved up a little money

I think we can buy a small house

Hey, what are you doing?

Add that to mine, I think we can buy a bigger house

Darling, where does the money in that come from?

I save up from jobs

Would that be your own private stash?

I was forced to accept the money from people I helped

I see... So are there anymore piggies?

No... Are you sure?

Of course not Don't lie to me

Why would I lie to my husband?

A house that will change your view on the world

Mr and Mrs Flint

It's bright, cosy in the winter, breezy in the summer

Spacious master bedroom, plus huge balcony

The ideal place to live

What do you think?

Just so-so

Worse than so-so

Hey, why don't we look over there Alright

Honey... It's awesome...

I really like this place, it's good It's great!

We'll haggle for a better price, right?

We'll have to act our lives out, alright? Right

What do you think?

It's only 30 dollars!

This is the only one?

Yeah, a sea view is all you got

There's nothing here, what's good about this place?

It's low density, very private

This is the only house in the area

And no one will find us if we die

This place has got excellent feng shui

But my shifu said water is not good for me

With this view, it'll drown me!

Exactly

But this house is built with best materials

Really? Yes

Look

Gosh, this is just chalk

Exactly. How can anyone live here?

20 is all we'll pay, and that's it

Darling, let's go

Why isn't he stopping us from leaving?

Maybe you lowered the price too much?

It must be your acting!

Please wait

What now?

Too much

What is it?

20 it is

We've saved 1 0

The chimney you just broke

needs at least another 20 to fix, it's costing us more

I never knew we have so many things

You've never read these books, let's throw them out

Why don't you throw me out?

Since when have I got such a bright top?

It was a birthday gift from me, you don't remember?

Of course... You've never worn it

The colour is too bright for my subtlety

You, subtle?

I'm subtle

Darling

It's been ten years since we've retired

1 0 Year Ago - The Pest Four Robbery

Put all the money in

There are too many hostages

The Pest Four will kill without warning, we should wait

Get Gazer Warrior

This is strange

How come it's so calm?

Are the guards all gone?

Hey, bro, take a look

Isn't that the lantern...

... that calls for Gazer Warrior?

Since when are we afraid of anyone?

Hey, wait a second

This hostage isn't right for you

What about me? Go find someone else

Bro, is she right for me?

Who cares

Evil Ant

Poisonous Snake

Aren't you tired?

Devil Scorpion

Why are you laughing?

Why have you chosen to practice this style of kung fu?

What's wrong with this?

The problem is...

You look like a cockroach

Deadly Toad

Deadly Gazer

Gazer Warrior! Gazer Warrior! Gazer Warrior!

Geezer Warrior, this windmill is for you

It's not Geezer Warrior

It's Gazer Warrior

I see, Gazer Warrior

Gazer Warrior Captures the Pest Four

Please, don't scare my child, I beg you...

What are you screaming about?

A drunk man has...

... to beat his child and kick his wife

He needs a lesson Please don't hit him

Get out of my way Please stop, I beg you

Get lost Don't hit him

Smells nice

Gazer Warrior?

Does Gazer Warrior have such a curve?

It's a woman

Poke!

Kick!

Punch!

Are both of you alright?

Yes

Thanks for saving our life, you're a heroine

I'm Aroma Woman, serve and protect our sisterhood

Aroma Woman? Right

Your mask is so pretty

Sorry, mask cannot be touched by anyone

Where did you buy it?

It's custom-made

Is it expensive?

Discounts through connections...

He's fine, he's just got hit by my Aroma Palm

Wow, sexy ladies

What's happening?

Aroma Woman Saves Woman from Abusive Husband

Aroma Woman! Aroma Woman! Aroma Woman...

Gazer Warrior is the best!

You are not the best, we are

Gazer Warrior is the best in the Universe!

Faceoff between Aroma Woman and Gazer Warrior

Aroma Woman! Gazer Warrior!

They're making a move...

Oh, a mosquito

You must attract them a lot, smelling so nice

Yeah, my scent does attract them a lot

It's so noisy

Do you hate noise?

Why don't we go somewhere else?

Where to?

It doesn't matter, as long as you are there

Hey? Your voice?

It hurts my throat using that voice all the time

I hope you don't mind when it's just the two of us

Are we switching places?

You are as fast as I am

I haven't introduced myself yet, I'm Flint

What about you?

My name is Rouge

Why are you laughing?

Awesome

Really?

Of course

Idiot

You are winning too much, I'll go bust

Can I play?

Yeah, awesome!

Over there

That's Chan from the fruit stall

He wants me to save his cat from trees

Oh, that one

She sells honey

She has a lot of secret to tell...

I've been seeing her too

She just need someone who listens

Oh...

Gosh, I'm tired

I just want a simple home

Me too

Why don't we...

Once we take off our mask

we are like everybody

living the lives of ordinary people

Whatever happens, we'll stay together

Forever and ever, through all difficulties

Do you agree?

I do

What's so funny?

I've got this mask tan line

because people keep calling me for help at noon

Be serious, we're getting married

It looks more obvious on my dark skin

It's okay

I've done some research

Honey and dough can whiten the skin

My face depends on you now, my darling wife

What did you say?

My face depends on you now

my darling wife

Hubby

Why don't we go home and pack now

and look for our home first thing in the morning

The first thing we do after marriage is packing?

Why don't we get a room and have some fun?

Awesome

Where is it? We've been searching it for years

It's not easy looking for an ideal home

We must pay our dues

When will we get there?

We are superheroes, but I'm scared of height

We'll see it, once we reach the top

Hurry up then, I want to reach there before it turns dark

So many mosquitoes

I'm dying to pee...

I told you to go before climbing but you had to hold it!

I can't hold it in anymore!

I'm right beneath you, don't do anything stupid

We are here How nice!

Here we are, that's Rainbow Village

Let's stop looking, it looks good

Alright, let's go

Hey, it looks so far, how long do you think it'll take?

With our super speed, maybe 2 to 3 days

What? I'm not walking, you piggyback me

I'll take a nap

Your life's so difficult

Your reward

So hungry... Chicken thigh...

Once we take off our mask

we are like everybody

living the lives of ordinary people

Deadly Gazer!

Stop messing around, I need to get to work

We just bought a big house

Don't you think it can fit more people?

You want a housemaid?

I want a child

It's alright, maybe you're tired

Tired? I just got up

It's alright, maybe you're just nervous?

We've been married for years, why would I be nervous?

Take a shave then, maybe it's draining your power

Why are you against my beard all the time?

Why don't you get a shave?

Darling, maybe you should see a doctor

I'm fine

Kidney dysfunction

Quite serious

Very serious

Hey, don't be so loud, patient confidentiality

Get lost! Why are you standing here?

How does it sound when you take a piss?

Oh... normal, very normal, more than normal

Give me more details

It's sounds like...

That's not right!

It's...

That's it

Definitely kidney dysfunction

Keep quiet!

Hey, there's nothing to see!

I'll give you some prescription medicine

Doctor, we want a child

Aren't you a bit old for a child?

No one hears you

Let me take your pulse

Do you two want boy or girl?

Boy Girl

If you want a girl, you have to do this...

At this rate, will it snap?

If you want a boy, then do this...

Never tried it

Then you must!

Alright

But...

Mrs. Flint...

What is it?

You've got a healthy body, but your pulse is weird

For example

while other's pulse beats 5 times

yours just beats once

This shows your metabolism is slowing down

Even if your husband's kidney is fixed

the chance of a child is still very small

So it's your fault

It just mean your lives are getting routine and plain

You two need to find something new and exciting

so your pulse beats like this...

Then it'll work

What does that mean?

Use your own method!

Doctor, you know...

About my kidney problem

can you not tell anyone?

What are you implying?

I'm professional

I don't go round telling people, you've got a problem!

Alright... enough... thank you...

Only I know you have a problem

I know, I know

You know you have a problem... Thank you

No one else will know

Where the hell is the code of patient confidentiality?

Flint, drink up the hot medicine

This medicine is very effective for kidney

How do you know?

You've got the same thing

Garlic, as we are in the same situation

how can we find more passion

find and create some excitement in our lives?

Just don't think about it

The best we can hope for

is that nothing ever happens in our lives

Every decade stays the same

This is called... stability!

Only a few people understand true stability

Stability is an attitude

Flint, Flint

There's a massive...

Massive what...

Massive group...

It's exciting!

Exciting?

Awesome

Awesome

May I ask why you have come to our village?

Who's in charge here?

I am Flint, the head of guards of this village

I'm special agent Hall

I'm here to assist Bai Xiao Clan

I've heard of Bai Xiao Clan

It sells tea!

Bai Xiao Clan has existed over a century

Their job is to sort out the different sects of martial arts

Their new Grandmaster Blanc has suggested

to rearrange the ranking of all disciplines and sects

What's with the small writings...

So ten days from now, they'll hold a ranking event here

There's something I don't understand

Our village is so faraway with nearly no facilities

How did the government decide to give us...

such a wonderful event?

This is a faraway neutral place

It will help to reduce the friction between different sects

Plus, we have arranged

for everything to be done

All you need to do is the arrangement for hospitality

This is going to be busy as hell!

That's not true

It is our time the repay our country

Now that it needs us

We should cooperate

Everybody

The country has chosen our village

to host this Ranking Event

It is such an...

Honour!

There would be tens of thousands of tourists

We'll be rich

There won't be many people

This is not an open competition

It's by invitation only

That's good

Looked crowded but not crowded, that's hard to find!

Villagers are not allow to watch

That's even better

A competition that no one watches

How mysterious and exciting is that!

It's... it's not that exciting...

Oh, never mind... inspector!

Let me find you a place to stay, please...

Both the fish and chicken taste good, delicious

Something is wrong

What's wrong?

Let me think for a moment

We should leave!

It's your fault, why didn't you tell them

not to hold the event here!

We don't look for trouble, but it is looking for us

We should just leave

Alright, let's pack Okay

Hey, but we've just moved and decorated...

Right, we've only just moved in, and if we disappear

it'll look suspicious

You're right

This event is just for ranking

It won't be real fights, right?

Right

They'll leave after a couple of days

We've retired for so long, no one will remember us

That Blanc guy is newly appointed

He won't care for us...

Alright, we don't need to leave!

Are you sure?

Of course

We're just normal people, living ordinary lives

Right?

Right

We should just act normal

Then everything will be fine

You think too much

Am I right?

Right

You are so smart

Nothing you've thought about can go wrong

They just can't leave soon enough

Awesome

But there will be a solar eclipse in 1 0 days

Why would such a big event

happen on such a bad day?

Don't be so superstitious!

I don't care

I think we are so lucky

We've been getting along so well

I have never had a fight with you

But do you think we lack passion?

Should we have a fight?

Yeah, how should we start?

You don't know?

Are you stupid?

You just keep going on and on, it's so annoying

You want a fight, here it is!

Can't you just let me eat my dinner peacefully?

What's wrong with you?

I always have to clean up your mess

What now? What's with the long face?

You're not going to cry, are you?

Hey, darling

Hey... I'm just trying it out on you

Don't cry

We are just playing, right?

I've really scared you

Time out, we'll never try this again?

I'm just acting

We're fighting... I have to play my part

Your acting is good

Do you think this life style is more exciting and fun?

Well, It's beating faster

But not yet fast enough...

Come on, let's try it on

What? Here?

Yeah, come on, sit up!

Really?

Hey, no!

It's always me who clean up the mess

Go to our room... Come on...

I want to try and have a boy tonight

So what do I have to do?

you just have to lay down, and I'll take care of the rest

Subtitle by Aldi Arman

I'm the original Crane Master

I'm the Real Crane Master

I'm the original!

I'm the real one!

Fight!

Make a move!

Hey... can you two please stop this?

Hey, who the hell are you, bastard!

Ouch!

You...

My head hurts...

Ouch... I'm dying...

Please, spare me my life

What's the point of arguing here?

You two are so good

Why don't you leave the fight on stage?

Laughing at your husband's pain, you are so mean!

Oh, right

Darling!

Darling! Are you alright?

It's okay...

I was so worried

Your acting is quite over the top

Me over the top?

Nobody recognizes us

Yes

Not only does nobody recognize us

they keep calling me bastard

Bastard, bastard

I've also heard people calling you granny

Who called me granny? Who called me granny?

Are you happy when people calls me granny?

I've got to work

Who's calling me granny?

Puffer fish balloons, large and curvy

Pearly

The balloon is so big, it's cute

Hello

You hold on to her

The balloon might take her away

Bye

Flint

Panda masks

5 cents only, it's very popular

Hello

Doesn't this look cute?

This mask is much more fun, right?

Tell your parents to buy one for you...

Miss, how may I help you?

You look like someone I know

Who?

Gazer Warrior

Huh? Gayer Warrior?

Who is he, never heard of him?

I only said you looked like him

I'm Phoenix Bleu, an apprentice, and you are?

I'm Flint , the head of guards of this village

Alright, I'll call you Flinty

Hello!

My name is Kong... King Kong

Is there problem with your eyes?

No

I'm Phoenix Bleu

Hello, Phoenix

Would you know if there are places to stay?

Excuse me, I'm an official here

Which sect are you with?

Grandmaster of the Golden Gate

Kong... King Kong!

Oh, there's no record of you, Grandmaster Kong

It's under King

There's no record of that either

I'm not here to compete, I have special approval

I'm here as a spectator

Oh...

I'm a very important VIP

A spectator then

Hey...Garlic and Onion!

Take them to an inn

Would you be interested in looking for an inn with me?

Not interested

That's alright

But it will be the best and most expensive inn

The best place left is their home

But it's more expensive than an inn

Expensive is good

Here's your document

Take them home with you

Alright... see you...

He must be some spoiled rich kid

I don't like this type of guys

Well... What type of guys do you like?

I like Gazer Warrior

I met him once when I was a kid...

That day...

Geezer Warrior, this is for you

I absolutely love him

Really?

Your eyes look very similar

But he doesn't have as much beard

Well, do you like my beard?

It's not my thing

I'm hungry, are there any local delicacies?

Alright, let me take you out for food!

Do you eat snakes?

No, I don't

Scorpions, it's the best here

This place looks alright

just lacking some style

The colour is so bland

If this is my place

I'll make it much more vibrant, it'll look so much better

Exactly! Tea is ready

Come on, drink it

Please sit

Have a cup of tea

Hey, Rouge, where's your husband?

Busy working, of course

Right...

So many people have come for the event

Flint must be busy serving the guests

Yes, busy of course

What are you saying, why don't you come out with it?

It's nothing...

It's just that I saw your husband

He was walking around with a girl that dressed in blue

laughing and joking

I haven't seen him so happy for a while

Didn't you say a lot of guests have arrived

Nothing wrong with him serving a guest

Yes I see...

Do you remember Nancy?

Her husband was the same

He looked so good and honest

Out of the blue he ran off with a young girl!

That's why my mom always reminded me

All men think with their upper body!

It's the lower body!

Right, with their lower body, lower body

Flint and I are getting on really well

He won't cheat on me

So, what else has your mom taught you?

My mom also told me

if a man has another woman

when he gets home, he won't want to leave any traces

So the first thing he'll do when he's home

Is to take a bath!

Bath? Yes

Darling, I'm home!

Hey, you bitches, no...

Fatties, no...

Don't let me disturb you. I'm taking a bath

Of course he needs a bath after a busy day.

He stinks

Yes, yes

Also, when a man has cheated, he'll be extra happy

and he'll display this happiness unintentionally

Falsetto!

Yes, my husband is very talented

He can sing bass, alto and soprano

A man will also feel younger if he's cheating

and will be super hyperactive

The water must be cold he's making weird noises!

You know what men love to do when they feel younger?

Dress up!

Darling

Where's your beard?

How is it?

Do I look handsome?

Very much!

Let me cook tonight, you girls just talk

Flint...

You look so happy. Something good happened?

No, of course not

Since you are cooking, can we stay for dinner?

You girls are so hard to invite, of course!

Oh, yeah...

Don't you girls need to cook at home?

Leave, go home! Let's go...

Why have you shaved?

Didn't you say it's a mess?

Why didn't you shave last month or next month

Why today?

Yeah, why...

But why can't I shave today?

Because I don't like it today

Oh... you want a fight, right?

You are really good today

Let's listen!

Wow! It's a little fast

Hey, do you want to try for a boy or a girl?

Try in hell!

Hey, are you coming tomorrow?

To hell I will!

Do you want dinner?

Go to hell!

What the hell?

The Ranking Event is about to commence

Welcome the Grandmasters of the Five Mountains

Phoenix is waving at me

Now I present the organiser of this Ranking Event

Grandmaster Blanc of Bai Xiao Clan

Welcome to this Ranking Event

More and more sects of martial arts have developed

It's messy and non-coordinated

Some has been good, some has been disastrous

which has caused many friction

Before the old Grandmaster retired

he has hoped that I can hold a Ranking Event

so we can fairly and properly

decide which sect is the best at different disciplines

Let the Ranking Event commence

And now...

It's lunch time!

Great!

Let's get to work

Where's the food?

Hey, where is the food!

It's gone!

What?

Why?

The food we prepared was all eaten

Why don't you tell them to cook more?

The chefs all quitted because of the pressure!

This is the last chicken wing, I saved it for you

This wing is mine!

Wow...

Have they just been released from jail?

Lunch is here

We're saved

So many chicken wings

let's share

Share

Have some tea

Thank you, darling

Hey, I'm just here to see if there's any good-looking guys

I'm the good-looking guy

This is Grandmaster Blanc of

Bai Xiao Clan... And my wife

My name is Rouge

Hello, Madame

Your cooking is so good

Just look at all of them getting along

Food can really change this world

Can I have some more rice?

I'm sorry, he already took the last bowl

Grandmaster, if you don't mind, it's yours

Thank you

Excuse me

He shows such grace

even when fighting for food

So charming

Who does he think he is?

Dressing up matching colours to his name

Is he crazy?

Hey, have you finished looking?

I haven't eaten anything yet, I'm hungry

Make me something to eat

Alright, it'll be quick!

Hey, pass me some ginger...

Phoenix, how are things?

The girl in blue?

They are so happy

Go away!

What did you do?

Who's she?

She's an apprentice, Phoenix Bleu

You know her very well?

Not really...

we just met

Flinty

You okay, granny?

I'm granny, and he's Flinty!

It's going to start

I have to go

Bye Flinty... and Granny

Bye Mrs. Flint

Bye... Hey!

I don't like her

Why not? Phoenix has done nothing...

I don't care, my instinct tells me I don't

I don't like her

But... That's all

That's all!

Alright... I'm going back to work

Clean your face, you look like a coal miner

Freestyle fighting commences!

Green Mountain, 368 Roaring Power Punch

What do you think? Not bad, right?

When's he going to stop? Just watch

Are all of you nervous? Hope you get a good ranking

What's the use of getting a good ranking at this place?

It's not going to turn us rich

Stop explaining to a granny. What does she know?

Hey!

Don't call me granny, it's not polite

You are so granny-looking, what else should I call you?

Go and get us a fruit platter, but remember

apples need to be sliced

The oranges need to be peeled

You? What?

Just go and get it granny

To hell with you

You are all idiots! Mrs. Flint...

What fruit do you want, I'll get it for you in one go

No

I'm really sorry that they are causing you trouble

It's alright, I'm just here to help my husband

Hey, but they don't seem to be too happy

Maybe they are tired after such a long trip

Grandmaster, you are so young and handsome

and polite. You're a gem!

You're welcome

I'm just doing what the old Grandmaster has hoped

So why don't your apprentices enter the event?

For fairness all of our apprentices...

...are not allow to enter

That's like "'always the bridesmaid never the bride"'

Through generations, our teaching has been

to serve all sects of martial arts with all our hearts

See...

Yes!

Yeah!

All sects of martial arts have gathered, I'm so emotional

Why is there a need for different sects?

Do they really need it?

Do they have to have it?

I'm not the one who decides the sects

If they can give up their sects and become one

that'll be the best thing ever happened

Didn't realise you have such hidden depth

Phoenix is looking at me

You do change the topic pretty fast

So do you fancy her?

Yes

Then you have to think up some strategy

I never use any strategy on girls

Phoenix

I fancy you, do you fancy me?

No, I don't

How could that be?

Wow! That was a real eye opener

You're welcome

I really can't think of anything, what have you got?

In the game of love

it is all about who fancies who more

Thank you for your guidance

What should I do next?

You need to get attention...

...without making the first move

And when she does, you'll mean that much more

Flinty!

Are you alright?

Flinty, I've got some dates...

...from home for you to try

I think there's something wrong with him

Just be careful of him

Here, try one

Let me feed you. Don't get your hands dirty

Hey, it's working

She has noticed you, now walk on, go

Wow! Excellent punch!

There's no way he could have dodged the punch

Why so?

He threw a punch straight at him

Then an uppercut and ends with a hook

He saw it coming

His face was distorted but couldn't dodge in time

Wow, Mrs. Flint, that was insightful

Talk in so much details, do you practice martial arts?

My neighbours are a couple, they fight all the time

I've learnt all these from them

Look...

Mrs. Flint

Have a bun

Mrs. Flint, are you alright?

Have another one

Wow, your hands are so cold. Aren't you feeling well?

Mrs. Flint, it happens when I travel, thank you

How come? let me warm them up for you

No, it's okay

Let me warm them up Mrs. Flint, please stop

The winner of freestyle fighting is

Red Mountain

Yes!

Let's move on to the next event

Palm Power Contest!

1 meter 70, next!

Grey Mountain

What were you doing with that blue thing?

Nothing, just watching the event

Did you two have to be so close?

Feeding you?

I haven't washed my hands after going to the toilet!

Wow, you are a crap liar

I don't care, I don't want you so close to her

Stop talking about me

You were rubbing your hands with that white guy

You think I didn't see it!

Hey! What?

Alright, I think something's weird about him

His hands...

So if you just want to rub his hands again

Don't say it's weird!

Are you throwing yourself all over him

because he's handsome and rich, granny!

Granny?

Hey, am I getting better at starting a fight with you?

What are you doing?

Let's not fight like this

Let's do some real fighting

Hey, are you for real or just messing around?

Of course I'm messing around

Come out

Hey! Look at you, you are just leading me on

I won't come out!

Come on out

No I won't!

Just a little

Alright, a little bit

It's a curler!

7 meter 40, new record

That was mine! No, that's mine!

Don't be so shocked

That was my apprentice's "'Yellow Mountain Palm Two"'

He hit it once, but the power comes out twice

So we win this, thank you

You're a liar. That was obviously my apprentice's

"'Black Mountain Before n' After Palm"'... yeah right?

Stop fighting!

It's actually "'Grey Mountain Ping Pong Palm"'

Yesterday, I hit out, that was the "'Ping"'

And that was... Can you stop lying?

That was obviously my "'Green Mountain..."'

Look what you've done to the event

Why is it my fault?

You don't think it's mine, do you?

Darling, I beg you

Please don't let your imagination run wild, alright?

Why don't you go home, cook something,

wait for me

and have a romantic dinner for two, alright?

After dinner, we can, you know

What?

You know...

Just stop asking, it'll be a surprise

This again?

No, that doesn't work

I've got something new Really?

Be good, just go home

These are for you

This is the first time you've ever given me flowers

If you like it, I can buy them for you everyday

It's more romantic if it's only every so often

Alright...

Hurry up, it's an all chicken feast

We can go back to our room afterward for a surprise

Slow down, there are plenty more surprises

What other surprises have you got?

Big surprise

Look

How can anyone live here?

The decorations are alright?

Hey, you've mud all over my floor

It's alright

It's not mud

It's dog poo

Hey, that's my dinner, stop eating it!

Put them down! Don't break my bowl

This is our special wine

Hey, be careful with my plates and mugs!

This tastes alright

You come with me!

What are you playing at?

I thought it's the two of us, why all these people?

Listen to me, it's because

they were fighting over the results...

Hello, Mrs. Flint

The flowers are from her

What are you trying to do to me?

I can forget those weird guys but you invited her?

Like I was telling you

The Five Grandmasters were fighting over the results

So I asked them to stop for my sake

They said they'll only agree if I pay for their dinner

So I invited them home

Yes! Right...

I invited Phoenix personally

Why are you bullying me?

I said I don't like her, and now you take her home!

Mrs. Flint

She's alright, why are you being so dramatic?

I'm dramatic?

I'm not playing this game. Fighting is not fun!

They are fighting, what should we do?

We'll finish up and leave Right...

I'm telling you, if she doesn't leave, I'll leave

Mr. and Mrs. Flint , I should go! Hey...

You're such a disgrace

I'll go with you

Flint , if you leave this house right now...

Then never come back!

Phoenix, thank you

The doctor said our lives are too routine

My wife needs some big excitement

to have any chance to have a child

Can you help me, just play along, alright?

Flinty, I don't understand

Do you have to upset her so much?

If it's not exciting enough, it won't work for her

Really?

I won't lie to you

I have to go

Flinty, I have something wanting to ask you

Come on, I'm in a rush

Are you Gazer Warrior?

How do I know? Just don't ask

Good bye, Flinty

Good bye

Thank you

Darling What are you doing?

There's not much time... Why are you back?

Child...

Are you crazy! I can kill you!

Wow! It's beating fast! What are you doing?

Awesome! What are you doing?

Let me go, psycho...

Phoenix and I tried very hard to convince you

Your pulse rate is perfect to have a child, come on!

Hey! Our own child...

What we want most is a simple home

Now we have our own home

all that's missing is a child

Darling

My superpower eyes can see through you

You always want to be a mother

Now's the time

Darling

But can you see

during all these years that we retired

how happy I am, how much I want to thank you?

Even though I don't have your superpower

I can still see through you

You miss two persons

Aroma Woman and Gazer Warrior

Darling, I love you

Darling

Hubby...

Why don't we come out of retirement!

Awesome

I have a reliable source

The Ranking Event

Does that Blanc really think he's a Grandmaster

Got us up this early in the morning

And no apprentices, who'll buy breakfast for us?

Grandmaster Blanc

Look everyone

There's a solar eclipse

Has any of you...

heard of Extraction?

It's an evil technique to improve one's martial art

by stealing others memory

It is the most evil of all martial arts

There's only evil people

There're no evil martial arts

Legend has it when an eclipse occurs

it's the best time to complete the practice for Extraction

Apart from the solar eclipse

memories of martial arts experts are also needed

Minds into one

Blanc, we both knew you were up to something

Stop using this voice

It hurts your throat, and it doesn't sound good

Alright

So darling

How did you figure out Blanc was up to something?

It's from the answer he gave me

But why would he tell you the truth?

Sometimes the answer is

from the body language

I praised him being young and ambitious

He answered with his hand stroking his nose

That means he felt ashamed by it

Same as when you lied about being out with a girl

I asked why doesn't Bai Xiao Clan enter the event

He told me something about teachings and generations

But his waggling finger sold him out

The waggling of finger is to emphasize his own word

Make himself believe what he was saying

Just like you lied

when you invited those bitches to stay for dinner

Amazing

At that moment, I couldn't hide my curiosity either

The touching of nose is very inconspicuous

Hey! Why don't you stop making an example of me?

And, his hand is unusually cold

I know

Because he thinks about running all the time

so all the blood is at his feet, his hands are cold

Wrong! What?

Practicing Extraction will lose body temperature

and become a cold blooded animal!

Darling, you are better than Sherlock Holmes

Never would have thought this event

would also attracts the infamous Mr. & Mrs. Incredible

This is fate!

Blanc, you are young and talented, come to the light

come to the light

We can help you fight your internal demon

Turning others' martial arts into my own is my talent

Why can't I practice this?

Looks like he's too far into it

We have to finish him

Darling... Wait a second

My hands are really itching

Let me warm up first

Poke!

Kick!

Punch!

It's fun to kick villain's ass

Aroma Woman, I miss you

Gazer Warrior, I miss you too

Hey! What?

Maybe you should go on a diet

You nearly broke my leg when you stepped on it

Alright, no more supper from tonight

Still want more?

Let's finish him off

I wonder what it'll be like

with all your seven...

... of your powers together?

Darling!

If Gazer Warrior is Flint

then Aroma Woman must be Mrs. Flint

Darling, wake up!

Darling, wake up!

Darling...

Darling...

Gazer Warrior is gone forever

Darling... Darling...

Darling...

Darling...

Darling...

Ying and Yang, black and white, water and fire

They are all about balance

When balance is broken, it will lead to self destruction

Teacher, I have not lost balance, I will not lose balance

Deadly Gazer?

Darling...

This is fun, I want everything

Darling!

Go, darling

Go, darling

Darling, look how much nonsense we do

Doing nonsense is good

Darling

I am so happy you are with me in this life

You are the one I love

You are also my best friend

This is what I dreamt of

I really want to have a child with you

We'll have to remember each other

We'll be husband and wife again in our next life

Let's hold the talk, we've still got a chance

He takes whatever make contact with him

This tree is thousand years old, it can take him down

Teacher, look at me. Look at how powerful I am

Darling, are you alright?

Do you recognize me?

It's me, your wife

Darling, darling

How can I not recognize my gorgeous wife

It's alright

Wait a second What's the matter?

Awesome!

Even my "'old eyes"' have gone, everything is clear now

My wife looks so beautiful up close. Awesome!

Didn't I look beautiful up close?

You looked like a mess

Darling Honey

What's happening? What is this?

Barbecue?

All of you who practice martial arts are so naive!

I was hoping Blanc can help me...

...overthrow the Emperor

I guess he's just crap too

It's alright

Now I have gathered all the martial arts secrets

I can train up a large and strong army instead

Go in... hurry up...

As for this village

because of the plague, no one survived

The Five Grandmasters must be honoured

to have you two die with them

Kill them!

King Kong?

I'm not a Grandmaster

I'm...

Royal chop?

Your Majesty?

Are you hurt, Your Majesty?

Your Majesty

Wise leadership, Your Majesty

All this has nothing to do with me

It was all Blanc's doing

I don't know him that well, Your Majesty

You are so thick skinned

I like you more for that

Take him away, I'll deal with this personally

I am innocent, Your Majesty

Your Majesty!

Wait... This is the antidote to my Aroma Palm

Rest a few more days, then they'll be fine

Granny! Granny!

Here

Let him enjoy this for a few more days

Yes! No!

Who's the granny!?

Flint

Your Majesty Please stand

You two serve and protect this country

Taught me how to chat up girls, you shall be rewarded

Thank you, Your Majesty

Your Majesty

Mrs. Flint, what are you eating?

Blanc has extracted so much and became this

This must be good for us, it's fresh

Hey, don't be so selfish, leave some for me

Oh, okay

Do you worry when we fought for our lives?

Of course!

It's beating fast!

Let's go home Great

Hey, this still has some taste left in it

While it's still fresh, Your Majesty

Go on, put it in your mouth

Flint, Flint

Are you sure the baby will come today?

If not, why don't we play Texas Hold'em

Poker! Poker!

I'll hold your head down...

Help me!

This hurts!

This big?

Is it a boy or girl?

Just wait, let me take a look

Didn't have time!

Awesome

Let mommy play a game with you

Aroma Woman, mommy

It's my turn, it's my turn

Let me play with him

Subtitle by Aldi Arman