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1
00:00:01,416 --> 00:00:03,208
Previously onX-Men...
2
00:00:03,208 --> 00:00:05,000
Don't touch that dial!
3
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:09,708
And what, pray tell, are you
X-Men going to give this
4
00:00:09,708 --> 00:00:12,500
mind-numbed bunch
of couch potatoes
5
00:00:12,500 --> 00:00:14,166
and the trillions
watching at home?
6
00:00:14,166 --> 00:00:18,875
They want blood and guts
and love and hate.
7
00:00:18,875 --> 00:00:21,875
They want entertainment!
8
00:00:21,875 --> 00:00:24,958
Violence and destruction
are not forms of amusement.
9
00:00:26,458 --> 00:00:28,416
Trust me, they are.
10
00:00:28,416 --> 00:00:32,708
This, if you haven't been
paying attention,
is my dimension!
11
00:00:32,708 --> 00:00:37,583
Get with the program
or get crushed!
12
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:45,625
[opening theme song]
13
00:01:13,083 --> 00:01:15,083
Red light. Red light!
14
00:01:15,458 --> 00:01:18,708
-I saw it!
-Yeah, right.
15
00:01:19,375 --> 00:01:21,583
Why don't you
pull in over there.
16
00:01:26,333 --> 00:01:28,083
I'll just be a minute.
17
00:01:28,083 --> 00:01:31,625
Don't take all day!
I'm just starting to get good.
18
00:01:33,166 --> 00:01:36,000
I always forget
that clutch part.
19
00:01:38,458 --> 00:01:40,583
Hey, watch out!
20
00:01:40,583 --> 00:01:44,083
Hello, sweetheart.
I don't believe
we've been introduced.
21
00:01:44,583 --> 00:01:45,708
Wow!
22
00:01:46,750 --> 00:01:51,208
Uh-oh. Wolverine!
Who ordered the fireworks?
23
00:01:54,416 --> 00:01:56,000
Where are we?
24
00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:05,375
Why does this stuff
always happen to me?
25
00:02:09,208 --> 00:02:12,416
-There! Take him!
-They mean you!
26
00:02:22,708 --> 00:02:26,875
Nice try.
But your luck just ran out.
27
00:02:27,458 --> 00:02:31,208
Spiral! The Master Programmer
wants him brought back
28
00:02:31,208 --> 00:02:35,708
-alive.
-He didn't specify
in what condition.
29
00:02:35,708 --> 00:02:36,958
Stop!
30
00:02:39,458 --> 00:02:43,500
Jubilee, Princess
of Pyrotechnics, commands you
31
00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:46,958
-to release the human!
-Ignore her.
32
00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:50,125
-She's just a little girl.
-A little girl?
33
00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:57,333
We should probably go.
34
00:02:57,333 --> 00:03:02,208
If that rebel scum gets away,
I'll cancel you, permanently!
35
00:03:06,458 --> 00:03:09,875
Warwolves! After the Lucky One!
36
00:03:12,500 --> 00:03:16,708
Uh-oh. Jubilee!
37
00:03:19,250 --> 00:03:20,583
Longshot.
38
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,083
Come on!
39
00:03:45,375 --> 00:03:47,416
I think we're rid of them.
40
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,166
Whoa! Not good.
41
00:04:15,708 --> 00:04:17,458
Back off, metalhead!
42
00:04:19,958 --> 00:04:21,500
[grunting]
43
00:04:22,875 --> 00:04:26,416
Bad doggie! No biscuit.
44
00:04:33,875 --> 00:04:36,708
We got leash laws
in this town, mutt.
45
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,750
Hey, Rover! Heel!
46
00:04:44,166 --> 00:04:46,125
That's no way to treat a lady.
47
00:04:54,583 --> 00:04:57,375
Cancel them. Cancel them all.
48
00:05:06,166 --> 00:05:09,833
Let's just finish it here.
Just you and me, pal.
49
00:05:09,833 --> 00:05:12,458
These warriors
were not anticipated.
50
00:05:12,458 --> 00:05:16,125
-Time to pull the plug.
-Long broadcast Mojo!
51
00:05:18,750 --> 00:05:21,291
This isn't over, Longshot!
52
00:05:27,375 --> 00:05:29,000
Are you OK, Jubilee?
53
00:05:30,375 --> 00:05:33,291
Longshot! What are you
doing here, pretty boy?
54
00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:37,375
-Are you blind?
He's on our side!
-We don't know that.
55
00:05:37,375 --> 00:05:40,583
You've got about two seconds
to tell me
what's going on, blondie.
56
00:05:40,583 --> 00:05:44,750
I don't know.
I can't remember anything.
57
00:05:44,750 --> 00:05:48,958
Come on, Jubilee. I'm taking
your buddy here
to the professor.
58
00:05:48,958 --> 00:05:51,000
We could use some answers.
59
00:05:51,708 --> 00:05:55,708
What do you mean he got away?
Nitwits! Dim bulbs!
60
00:05:55,708 --> 00:06:00,250
He's still under contract!
Do you realize
what he's costing me?
61
00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:06,166
As if I don't have enough to
worry about.
62
00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:10,416
Slave rebellion, workers
who actually want to be paid,
63
00:06:10,416 --> 00:06:14,583
and my biggest star
turned rebel! Ingrate!
64
00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:19,250
After all I've done
for his career! Who decided
to let actors think?
65
00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:23,583
If you want the little jerk
so badly, why don't you
go get him yourself?
66
00:06:26,291 --> 00:06:29,875
You presumptuous stack
of armpits!
67
00:06:30,416 --> 00:06:34,708
Perhaps the sorceress
has a point,
my lardaceous liege.
68
00:06:38,333 --> 00:06:42,500
An expedition to a primitive
dimension like Earth's,
69
00:06:43,166 --> 00:06:47,458
home of the indomitable X-Men,
if I'm not mistaken,
70
00:06:47,458 --> 00:06:52,291
-led by the great Mojo himself.
-X-Men!
71
00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:59,708
Domo! Domo! I've just had
the most brilliant idea!
72
00:06:59,708 --> 00:07:04,291
I, Mojo, will lead
the expedition myself!
73
00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:08,083
Yeah! Think of it, think of it
now! Longshot, my biggest star,
74
00:07:08,083 --> 00:07:13,625
the X-Men, a proven ratings
hit, and me. It'll be huge!
75
00:07:14,750 --> 00:07:17,291
When you are on screen,
your bulbousity,
76
00:07:17,291 --> 00:07:20,500
the universe
positively quivers.
77
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:25,625
We shall, however, need Spiral
to cleave time and space?
78
00:07:25,625 --> 00:07:28,083
Yeah, yeah, sure, whatever.
79
00:07:34,583 --> 00:07:38,625
Gog, where's Gog? Gog!
Get your guys down to wardrobe!
80
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:41,083
Come on, come on, come on,
we're burning daylight here!
81
00:07:41,083 --> 00:07:44,708
Scramble a remote crew.
We're going live!
82
00:07:46,583 --> 00:07:48,708
[Jubilee] And this
is the rec room.
83
00:07:48,708 --> 00:07:53,000
Sure, you don't want something
to drink? It's no problem.
84
00:07:53,458 --> 00:07:55,875
What the sam hill
is he doing here?
85
00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:58,125
Says he can't remember
anything.
86
00:07:58,125 --> 00:08:00,875
-I don't trust him.
-He saved your life!
87
00:08:00,875 --> 00:08:04,833
If you ask me, I think he's
part of some Mojo-run set up.
88
00:08:04,833 --> 00:08:08,625
-What is your problem?
-Who is our guest?
89
00:08:08,625 --> 00:08:11,208
-He's one of Mojo's cronies...
-We saved him from a bunch...
90
00:08:11,208 --> 00:08:14,291
-Beast?
-His name is Longshot.
91
00:08:14,291 --> 00:08:17,708
He was rescued earlier
this evening by Logan
and Jubilation
92
00:08:17,708 --> 00:08:20,000
from his
erstwhile employer, Mojo.
93
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,000
I didn't want him
wandering around loose,
94
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,291
till you could take a look
inside his head.
95
00:08:24,291 --> 00:08:27,083
Are you blind?
He's on our side!
96
00:08:27,083 --> 00:08:29,000
We don't know that.
97
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:33,083
Allowing me to scan his mind
must be Longshot's decision.
98
00:08:33,083 --> 00:08:35,958
I suggest he take
a moment to consider it.
99
00:08:38,833 --> 00:08:42,708
Come on, Longshot.
Time to blow this joint.
100
00:08:42,708 --> 00:08:43,875
Don't go far.
101
00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:46,333
I'll keep an eye on him.
102
00:08:46,333 --> 00:08:49,125
The gal's kind of sweet on him,
in case you didn't notice.
103
00:08:49,125 --> 00:08:50,500
I noticed.
104
00:08:54,333 --> 00:08:57,166
I hate it when Wolverine
treats me like a kid!
105
00:08:57,166 --> 00:09:01,083
I'm 15... 17 years old!
106
00:09:01,083 --> 00:09:02,875
I can look after myself!
107
00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:04,833
You certainly looked after me
back there.
108
00:09:04,833 --> 00:09:07,083
You have great courage.
109
00:09:07,083 --> 00:09:10,833
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
110
00:09:18,750 --> 00:09:20,708
What's the name
of this dump again?
111
00:09:20,708 --> 00:09:23,416
Earth,
your magnificent abundance.
112
00:09:23,416 --> 00:09:27,458
Earth? As in dirt? That stinks.
Who's afraid of dirt?
No, no, no, no, no.
113
00:09:27,458 --> 00:09:31,208
We'll call it Danger World!
Yeah, yeah,
no, no, no, wait, wait.
114
00:09:31,208 --> 00:09:33,375
Terror World! Yeah!
115
00:09:34,250 --> 00:09:37,083
Untold rating points
will be mine!
116
00:09:37,083 --> 00:09:42,458
Action! Excitement!
Not too much violence though!
117
00:09:42,458 --> 00:09:45,166
Yeah, we'll leave that
for the news
and the talk shows.
118
00:09:59,875 --> 00:10:04,583
His mind is barren,
I think I can help.
119
00:10:04,583 --> 00:10:09,250
-But it will take time.
-I'm gonna go check on Jubilee.
120
00:10:14,166 --> 00:10:15,500
Huh?
121
00:10:18,375 --> 00:10:20,875
I don't remember
this being here.
122
00:10:26,875 --> 00:10:29,750
I remember a great battle.
123
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:35,458
Mojo's genetically
engineered slaves rebelled.
124
00:10:35,875 --> 00:10:39,000
I, his star attraction,
was their leader.
125
00:10:40,583 --> 00:10:41,750
I was captured.
126
00:10:44,875 --> 00:10:49,208
Mojo erased my memories,
planning to use me
in his televised campaign
127
00:10:49,208 --> 00:10:51,166
to crush the rebels.
128
00:10:53,416 --> 00:10:57,625
My comrades rescued me.
Spiral tried to send them
all to oblivion.
129
00:11:01,708 --> 00:11:04,458
-And somehow I ended up here.
-Fascinating.
130
00:11:05,083 --> 00:11:07,875
Something's wrong.
Better get here pronto.
131
00:11:11,583 --> 00:11:13,458
What happened here?
132
00:11:13,458 --> 00:11:16,375
It appears that the local flora
has somehow been mutated,
133
00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:20,458
-drained of its life essence.
-It's Mojo! He's here!
134
00:11:21,416 --> 00:11:23,166
I can smell him.
135
00:11:23,166 --> 00:11:25,583
I fear that Mojo's continued
presence in our dimension
136
00:11:25,583 --> 00:11:28,708
could have dire consequences
for all life on Earth.
137
00:11:28,708 --> 00:11:31,083
I found something else!
138
00:11:31,083 --> 00:11:32,625
Jubilee's jacket!
139
00:11:35,583 --> 00:11:39,583
Nothing. I can't read
any future for her.
140
00:11:39,583 --> 00:11:42,958
-You don't mean she's...
-No, she's here somewhere!
141
00:11:42,958 --> 00:11:45,000
And we're gonna find her.
142
00:11:46,875 --> 00:11:50,583
So you see, it seems much has
changed on Mojo World
143
00:11:50,583 --> 00:11:53,208
since our television debut.
144
00:11:53,208 --> 00:11:59,166
Longshot's an actor. Who says
he ain't playing a part?
145
00:11:59,166 --> 00:12:02,208
-You'll have to trust me.
-My trust is earned, bub.
146
00:12:02,208 --> 00:12:05,958
And if anything happens
to Jubilee, it'll come
out of your hide.
147
00:12:05,958 --> 00:12:08,958
Beast was right.
This weird forest is growing.
148
00:12:08,958 --> 00:12:11,166
We gotta stop it before it gets
to peoples' homes!
149
00:12:11,166 --> 00:12:16,708
Live from Terror World,
it's the premiere
and final edition
150
00:12:16,708 --> 00:12:21,166
of "Intergalactic Gladiators!"
151
00:12:21,166 --> 00:12:26,958
I, Mojo, programmer
to the galaxy, present
our contestants tonight.
152
00:12:26,958 --> 00:12:31,000
Back by popular demand,
the X-Men!
153
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:36,000
Beast, the mind of a genius
in the body
of a big blue gorilla.
154
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:40,875
Rogue, whose luscious lips,
no man may kiss!
155
00:12:40,875 --> 00:12:43,500
Wolverine,
whose adamantium bones
156
00:12:43,500 --> 00:12:46,833
can't protect him
from a broken heart.
157
00:12:46,833 --> 00:12:50,166
Tonight's special guest star,
in his final appearance
anywhere,
158
00:12:50,166 --> 00:12:55,166
lover, rebel, movie star,
your heartthrob and mine,
159
00:12:55,166 --> 00:12:57,375
Longshot!
160
00:13:00,458 --> 00:13:02,458
Their opponents, the gladiators
161
00:13:02,458 --> 00:13:05,833
will hunt the X-Men through
the untamed wilds
of Terror World,
162
00:13:05,833 --> 00:13:08,416
-in the match-up
of the millennium.
-Fascinating.
163
00:13:08,416 --> 00:13:10,875
The first to reach
our lovely studio,
164
00:13:10,875 --> 00:13:14,333
filled with cash
and fabulous prizes
is the winner.
165
00:13:14,333 --> 00:13:18,333
And the bait, excuse me,
the grand prize, a dream date
166
00:13:18,333 --> 00:13:22,208
with teen heartthrob, Jubilee!
167
00:13:22,208 --> 00:13:25,000
Somebody
please get me out of here!
168
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:29,125
What do we need
this little brat for?
She's nothing but trouble.
169
00:13:29,125 --> 00:13:32,375
Passion! Drama! Ratings!
170
00:13:32,375 --> 00:13:35,250
The other actors must be given
the proper motivation.
171
00:13:35,250 --> 00:13:38,583
Besides, I've got
just the spinoff for it!
172
00:13:44,583 --> 00:13:46,000
Run!
173
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:47,875
Reckon I'll take
a little short cut.
174
00:13:48,625 --> 00:13:54,583
Oh, sorry, sugar. Air travel
is provided by Mojo
and only the Mojo!
175
00:13:56,708 --> 00:14:00,583
Make no mistake! These two
teams are here to play!
176
00:14:08,333 --> 00:14:10,250
I appreciate the lift.
177
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:14,833
If you three can draw him off,
I can get to that arena
quicker alone.
178
00:14:14,833 --> 00:14:16,458
One of us should accompany you.
179
00:14:16,458 --> 00:14:19,250
I believe the phrase is,
"To watch your back."
180
00:14:19,250 --> 00:14:20,875
I'll go with Wolverine.
181
00:14:20,875 --> 00:14:22,875
-In a pig's eye, you...
-Listen to me.
182
00:14:22,875 --> 00:14:25,875
I know how Mojo works,
and I know the equipment.
183
00:14:25,875 --> 00:14:29,708
I got Jubilee into this.
I'm the only one
who can get her out.
184
00:14:31,375 --> 00:14:32,375
Move!
185
00:14:34,375 --> 00:14:36,708
This ought
to get their attention.
186
00:14:40,708 --> 00:14:42,125
This way.
187
00:14:44,708 --> 00:14:48,375
Hey, hey, hey, hunters!
I want to see
some serious carnage
188
00:14:48,375 --> 00:14:50,708
or you guys are going home
in a shoebox!
189
00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:54,125
Can I handle actors or what?
190
00:14:54,125 --> 00:14:55,875
We should stay
in the tree line.
191
00:14:57,500 --> 00:14:59,208
Now what?
192
00:15:02,458 --> 00:15:06,875
-A big purple lizard?
-Trust me,
the kids will love it!
193
00:15:16,125 --> 00:15:17,708
Hey, stomper!
194
00:15:25,416 --> 00:15:26,875
Dang!
195
00:15:26,875 --> 00:15:29,333
I sense possible sanctuary
in those cliffs.
196
00:15:34,458 --> 00:15:37,625
Hold it! We're being followed.
197
00:15:37,625 --> 00:15:40,416
You go on ahead.
I'll double back.
198
00:15:41,875 --> 00:15:43,833
[laughing] Wolverine.
199
00:15:48,375 --> 00:15:51,875
Quark, who do you want to be?
The guy who bumped off
an Earther,
200
00:15:51,875 --> 00:15:54,458
or the man
who defeated Longshot?
201
00:15:54,458 --> 00:15:56,083
Good point!
202
00:16:06,708 --> 00:16:08,583
He'll be out for a while.
203
00:16:08,583 --> 00:16:11,375
-Are you OK?
-I heal fast.
204
00:16:24,875 --> 00:16:28,708
Shoot them!
Somebody shoot them!
205
00:16:32,875 --> 00:16:34,458
Cancel them!
206
00:16:36,250 --> 00:16:42,375
No! No! This is horrible!
All this chaos!
All this destruction!
207
00:16:42,375 --> 00:16:45,333
And not a single camera
in sight!
208
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:51,083
All cameras to the arena,
pronto! Yesterday! Move it!
209
00:16:52,250 --> 00:16:54,875
It appears we're no longer
the star attraction.
210
00:16:59,958 --> 00:17:01,500
Come on!
211
00:17:06,583 --> 00:17:09,375
Sorry, boys. Closed set.
212
00:17:09,375 --> 00:17:14,458
-Out of our way, Spiral.
-Don't you dare
tell me what to do!
213
00:17:14,458 --> 00:17:17,833
-What got her so worked up?
-We used to date.
214
00:17:23,625 --> 00:17:26,166
I'll handle her.
You get Jubilee.
215
00:17:28,625 --> 00:17:30,458
Looking for this?
216
00:17:31,625 --> 00:17:35,875
Gog, cancel
this little mophead!
217
00:17:35,875 --> 00:17:38,583
This will look great
on my resume!
218
00:17:39,333 --> 00:17:43,875
So, Lucky One, it seems
your luck has finally run out.
219
00:17:43,875 --> 00:17:45,375
Bombs away!
220
00:17:54,333 --> 00:17:55,750
You all right, hon?
221
00:17:57,708 --> 00:17:59,708
Remember me, bright-eyes?
222
00:18:02,750 --> 00:18:04,208
My remote!
223
00:18:08,958 --> 00:18:12,750
-Jubilee! Are you all right?
-I am now.
224
00:18:13,583 --> 00:18:14,708
Thank you.
225
00:18:15,583 --> 00:18:18,416
My... my ratings!
226
00:18:18,416 --> 00:18:23,166
I'm risking embarrassment
and possible physical pain!
227
00:18:23,166 --> 00:18:25,833
And there are no ratings?
Spiral!
228
00:18:26,375 --> 00:18:31,458
-Spiral, dear,
get me out of here!
-Take a number!
229
00:18:35,708 --> 00:18:39,500
You! This is all your fault,
you little toad!
230
00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:41,333
Well, you haven't won yet!
231
00:18:41,333 --> 00:18:46,875
'Cause the show ain't over
till the fat man stings!
232
00:18:49,958 --> 00:18:52,875
-That's all, folks!
-No!
233
00:18:58,458 --> 00:19:01,583
Fooled you! Really had you
going there, didn't I?
234
00:19:01,583 --> 00:19:03,375
OK, joke's over.
235
00:19:03,375 --> 00:19:07,958
We can all go home now.
No hard feelings, eh, buddy?
236
00:19:11,458 --> 00:19:15,166
-Nice.
-Nah, just lucky.
237
00:19:15,875 --> 00:19:20,125
Gog! Spiral!
Get this freak off of me!
238
00:19:29,375 --> 00:19:34,083
I want a rematch, mutant.
Pay-per-view, of course.
239
00:19:34,083 --> 00:19:38,333
Fifty percent of all
intergalactic merchandise
and syndication revenue.
240
00:19:38,333 --> 00:19:40,708
Have I earned that trust yet?
241
00:19:40,708 --> 00:19:44,583
You're close. Go on. You just
got time for a quick goodbye.
242
00:19:44,583 --> 00:19:48,291
-Thanks. Jubilee, I...
-I know.
243
00:19:48,291 --> 00:19:53,125
You have to go. You have
a rebellion to lead
and people you care about.
244
00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:56,500
I'll never forget you, Jubilee.
Thank you.
245
00:20:05,250 --> 00:20:07,708
Come on, kid. Let's head home.
246
00:20:15,583 --> 00:20:17,125
[closing theme song playing]
247
00:20:17,125 --> 00:20:18,875
It is the Spire!
248
00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:23,125
The Phalanx will use it
to summon
the rest of my people!
249
00:20:23,125 --> 00:20:26,083
To add this planet
to the Phalanx empire!
250
00:20:28,125 --> 00:20:32,208
It is Self's fault. Self never
should have come here.
251
00:20:32,583 --> 00:20:36,583
Now Selfriends Beast, Forge,
252
00:20:36,583 --> 00:20:40,208
your world is doomed!19713
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