All language subtitles for Sports Night - 01x06 - The Head Coach, Dinner, And The Morning Mail

Previously on "Sports Night"...

Tomorrow night,
you are going to go out

to the Meadowlands
and do a pre-interview.

Since when do we do
pre-interviews?

Since we
booked Chris Patrick.

Somebody witnessed
Christian Patrick

in an otherwise empty
locker room exposing
himself to a woman.

-- What happened to your wrist?
-- What?

Natalie will deny reports
that she was sexually assaulted
in an empty locker room,

and I'm including
league security as well
as press inquiries.

Private conversations
in the corridor,

secret meetings
in lsaac's office,

"We'll have a car
take you home"?

I'm already
out of the loop.

You touch her again,
I'm gonna have you killed.

But tomorrow, the sky's gonna
fall down on both of us.

I'm going over to
the 23rd precinct,

and I'm swearing out
a warrant for your arrest.

[ Up-tempo instrumental music
plays ]

Man: We're back on Dan
in 5...4...

3...2... 1.

Next up, Steve Denton
looks for a new gig,

the Hawks defend a streak,

and we answer
the question,

"How much wood could
a woodchuck chuck

if a woodchuck
could chuck wood?"

You're watching
"Sports Night" on CSC,

so come on back.

-- 2 1/2 minutes back.
-- We're out.

-- [ Puffing ]
-- Okay. I don't think there's
any way I could be colder.

-- What if you were wet?
-- I'd be very cold.

But as cold as I'd be
under that circumstance,

I still don't think there'd be
any discernable difference

between how cold I'd be then
and how cold I am now.

That's how cold I am now.

-- So...you're cold.
-- I'm pretty cold.

We're taking care of it.

And if it's possible,

I'd like to look just a little
bit more like Elmer Fudd.

Natalie, do you have
the S.O.T. on Michigan State?

-- I'm sorry?
-- Michigan State?

I've got it.

I need it.

-- It was right here.
-- Where?

-- Here.
-- It's cool.

-- Don't panic.
-- I'm not losing my mind.
Don't tell me not to panic.

-- Natalie...
-- I just had it.

-- Where?
-- Here.

Dan, heads up --
I may have a change.

There's not
gonna be a change.
It was right here.

-- We may not have the S.O.T.
for Michigan State.
We'll have it.

Natalie's right. If this
is professional television,

surely there's some kind of
strict procedure that's followed

-- when something like
this happens.
-- Absolutely.

-- What is it?
-- Well, first,
everyone, stand up

-- and see if you're
sitting on it.
-- 2 minutes back.

-- I'll find it.
-- I'll help her look.

-- Uh, don't worry about it.
-- Dana...

Jeremy, she's not gonna find it.
Don't worry about it.

-- 90 seconds back.
-- Did you get any sleep
last night?

I don't remember.

So, I have a complaint --
two complaints actually.

You're cold?

-- Three complaints.
-- What are the first two?

-- I haven't put these
in any order.
-- Okay.

I haven't numbered them.
I'm not conversationally
anal-retentive the way you are.

-- I'm conversationally
anal-retentive?
-- Yes, indeed.

Then what are your
other two complaints?

If I did number them,
certainly high on the list

would be the climate
in this room.

Yeah, I think
your position's
pretty clear on that.

-- 60 seconds back.
-- Well, what are
the other two?

-- You're too hard
on Rostenkowski.
-- Oh, please.

-- You are. You've been
riding him all week.
-- Am not.

Dan, he made a bonehead
move on fourth down with
the game on the line.

It's not the first time
he's made a bonehead move.

I'm a commentator,
I'm a pundit,
I am doing my job.

-- You're a pundit?
-- I'm a pundit.

-- Your parents must
be very proud.
-- They are.
-- 30 seconds.

-- What's your
second complaint?
-- The sound effects.

-- Oh, again with
the sound effects.
-- All through the
Rostenkowski piece --

"Clank! Wah wanh!"

What's with that?

I am bringing my point
into stark relief.

With Casio keyboard
sound effects.

We have very talented
sound editors, right,
Chris?

Thank you.

Will?

It's what I do.

You see?
It's what Will does.

Suit yourself.

Danny, he should not be
the head coach

of a major college
football team.

Yeah, but he is, and you know
what that job's like,
so I'm just saying --

-- I can't find it.
-- It's okay.

-- I'm sorry.
-- It's not a problem.

It is a problem, Dana.
This isn't something --

Natalie, it's not a problem.
We've got promos
we can use to fill.

Yeah, guys, we're blowing off
80, 81, and 82.

I've got promo fillers,
so ride us out on the box set.

I'm sorry, everybody.

-- It's all right.
Don't worry about it.
Hey, Dana...
-- That's cool.

Danny has
some complaints --

-- Three complaints.
-- in no particular order.

Want to hear?

Danny, you look like
Elmer Fudd.

Okay, four complaints.

[ Exhales deeply ]

Dan, I spoke to
building maintenance

about the air conditioning.

They're sending someone out.

-- The air conditioning?
-- Yeah.

That's good, um,
but the problem

we're having in the studio
is with the heat.

-- [ Laughs ]
-- Damn it.

-- Don't worry about it.
-- Yes. Right. Right.
No problem.

Nat? You want to sit down
for a sec, shoot the breeze?

I can't shoot the breeze
right now, Dan.

I have to do my job.

Or do you think it's
just safer for everybody
if I don't do anything?

No, I was just --

My two anchors are gonna
die of hypothermia on the air,

but that's okay,
no problem,

'cause Natalie's
a little distracted.

I'm not distracted, guys.
I can do my job.

-- We know.
-- I've gotta go get
the air conditioning fixed.

-- The heat.
-- Yes. I know that.
Thank you.

Also, if you see Casey,

tell him to lighten up
on Rostenkowski.

Oh, look, you're here.

Yeah.

Lighten up on
Rostenkowski.

I stand by my position.

I do it proudly,
I do it vigorously,

and I do it for the following
three reasons --

Here come
the table of contents.

-- I like to organize
my thoughts.
-- We know.

Why are you looking
at a dictionary?

I don't think "pundit" means
what you think it means.

-- You're not gonna let
go of this.
-- You're not gonna
let go of this.

Excuse me, but wasn't
I sitting next to you for
two weeks when you said

that Latrell Sprewell
shouldn't be allowed to play
professional basketball again?

Look, I know
it's your alma mater,

and I know you take
that seriously -- and
I think that's great --

but Rostenkowski blew
a fourth-down call in
a college football game.

Latrell Sprewell tried
to strangle his coach.

Is this one of those days
when you have a hard time
making the distinction?

We were this close to
beating Miami -- this close.

Do you know how many times
we've beaten Miami?

-- You've never beaten Miami.
-- We've never beaten Miami.

Now, who am I supposed to
see about that?

A therapist?

And what was the upshot
of the budget meeting?

We're gonna have to find
a way to cut $1 7 million.

[ Knock on door ]
-- Excuse me.

-- Come on in.
-- I found it.
-- You found it?

I found it.

I knew if I looked
hard enough, I'd find it,
and I found it.

-- What did you find?
-- A death threat.
-- To Natalie?

Yes. Anytime you've got a
thousand people sending letters
and making phone calls,

it's a pretty good bet
that at least one of them's
gonna be out of his mind.

Jeremy, is this why you haven't
been sleeping at night?

-- I don't need much sleep.
-- I don't want you
obsessing about this.

-- It's not an obsession.
-- You look like you haven't
slept in a week.

-- I'm fine.
-- 'Cause, you know,
network security's

working with the FBl,
and they pretty much have
the bases covered.

Well, they don't have
the bases covered,

because I intercepted
this e-mail this morning.

You shouldn't be reading
Natalie's e-mail.

It was the only way
I could make sure

that Natalie doesn't
read Natalie's e-mail.

I'm surprised she gave
you her password.

She won't even
give it to me.

She didn't give it to me.
I figured it out.

-- You figured it out?
-- Sure.

You figured out
her password?

I thought, you know,
how many 6-letter words
could there be?

Um, 5,000.

14,200 and change.

But I got it on
the 38th try.

You gotta go to sleep
right now.

-- "Dear slut..."
-- Don't read it.

"You should never have been
in that locker room

"where men have just played
the game of football.

"You deserve what Christian
Patrick gave you and more.

"And now a great football
player with a pashion and
love for the game" --

"passion" with the less common
"s-h" spelling --

"has come under a cloud of
speculation that's only serving

"to distract a team from its
quest to win the Super Bowl.

I hope you get killed."

-- We've seen the letter.
-- You've seen the letter?

-- It came yesterday.
Natalie gave it to the police.
-- Natalie has seen it?

-- Of course.
-- I don't want her seeing
this stuff!

-- No, I don't want her
seeing it!
-- Jeremy...
Iisten, do me a favor.

Go wait for me
in the conference room.
I want to talk to you.

-- I need to be doing something.
-- You will be.

-- Go wait in
the conference room.
-- Listen...

You're overtired.
This is sleep deprivation.

Go to the conference room
and wait for me there.

I'm sorry
I raised my voice.

We shouldn't worry,
right?

[ Door closes ]

A reporter goes into
a locker room,

has a run-in
with an athlete,

the reporter
becomes the story.

That happens, right?

In my experience?

About twice a year
over the last 40 years.

Right.

So why does this
feel different?

Because it's
happening to us.

Right.

Okay, the budget.

"Dear Casey McCall,

"lately, I think you and me
are the only ones who know
anything about football.

"Rostenkowski should be
run out of town on a rail,

and you're just
the man to do it."

Eh, I say you're man enough
for 10 men.

"Casey, Rostenkowski
is a fraud, a bum,

"and a doddering old man.

"Me and my friends
are totally with you.

Keep up the good work."

They tell me
I'm all over the radio
in the Great Lakes region.

-- Have you ever been
to the Great Lakes?
-- Yeah, four of them.

-- How are they?
-- They're great.

"You're my favorite
sports anchor ever.

"l never used to
like sports, but you've
so gotten me into it.

"Maybe because
you're totally hot.

Look me up -- Tracy Devereux,
Baton Rouge, Louisiana."

-- You made that up.
-- What's that say?

-- It's addressed to Dan.
-- Yeah, well, the point is
I'm leading a groundswell.

-- Casey...
-- I'm leading a groundswell.

That's really nice
for you.

Listen, do me a favor --
double-check any items

you're getting in
from Natalie.

If anything's wrong,
fix it yourself.

The distractions are
starting to get to her.

Oh, yeah. She's been
screwing up pretty good
lately.

Yeah, not like when you were
going through the divorce.

I did my job
with a plum.

I remember some days
you could barely find
the building.

Well, that's true.

-- You'll watch her back?
-- I always do.

I know.

Good.

I need to get in there.

-- You look nice today.
-- Good.

Uh, uh, uh, uh --
no, no, no.

I said you look nice.
That's your cue to say
thank you.

Thank you.

Why do you look nice?

Because I am nice.

-- You can say it, Dana.
-- I don't want to say it.

-- You do want to say it.
-- I don't want to say it,
and you don't want me to say it.

I do want you to say it,
and then I want you to see

how much I don't
care when you do.

-- What's in it for me?
-- Nothing.

I am dressed this way

because I'm having dinner
with Gordon after the show.

I'm having dinner with Gordon,
and I'm dressed this way

because it's been
my experience

that when I do, Gordon
becomes quite amorous,

and it's my hope
that Gordon act on his
impulses this evening,

quench his desire,
and in so doing...

[ Sighs ] quench mine.

You happy?

That's all I wanted.

-- Good.
-- There is no reason
for you to be secretive.

-- Fine.
-- I am not jealous
of you and Gordon.

-- Can I get in
the conference room?
-- Sure.

-- Kim...
-- Yep?

Make a note --

I need to ruin
Dana's dinner with Gordon.

Dana: You know, Jeremy...

Don Quixote was a hero
of my father's, and
my father would like you.

You're a very
Quixotic character.

-- Thank you.
-- However, my father would
also say you're a fool.

That's entirely possible,
but in own defense,
so was Don Quixote.

-- You like Natalie,
don't you?
-- Me?

-- Yes.
-- Of course I like her.

No, that's not
what I mean, Jeremy.

I mean, you like
Natalie, don't you?

-- Me?
-- Yes.

What was the question?

-- It's okay.
-- I haven't --

It's okay. I'm sure
your love has been pure
and chaste from afar.

-- It really has been.
-- I'll let you in
on a secret.

I think Natalie
likes you as well.

-- I think so, too.
-- Yes.

-- I've been getting
that feeling.
-- Good.

I've had this sense.
It's a faint, subtle thing --

She's been throwing
herself at you.

-- See, I didn't get that.
-- Trust me.

So, you know what
I think you should do?

-- What?
-- Nothing.

-- Nothing?
-- Nothing.

-- lsn't that what
I'm doing now?
-- No.

Natalie's life has been
turned upside down.

She doesn't know whether
she's coming or going.

People harass her
and take her pictures.

The reporters calling,
the mail --

She's frightened
and confused.

And I know
you're frightened, too,

or you wouldn't be
staying up all night

plugging 6-letter words
into a computer.

I'm not a big man, Dana.

I can't beat people up,
and I don't carry a gun.

I'm a research analyst
with a degree in Applied
Mathematics,

so this is what I do.

And that's cool, but
that's not what she needs.

What does she need?

A quiet dinner --
just a quiet dinner

in a safe place
with someone she likes.

Who?

-- Me, right.
-- Jeremy...yes.

-- I can do that.
-- Good.

-- I can definitely do that.
-- Excellent.

-- Now I need you
to do something else.
-- Sure.

Go into my office,
close the door,

Iie down on the couch,
and take a nap.

-- I can't.
-- You can try.

-- No, I can't sleep.
-- You can try for a few hours.

These letters aren't
gonna stop coming

just because I take her
out to dinner.

I know.

I'll try and sleep.

-- 14,200?
-- And change.

"Very Quixotic,"
my father would say
about you.

Casey:
Hey, you know what Danny
said to me last night?

What'd you say
to him last night?

I told him he was
conversationally
anal-retentive.

-- Yeah, you are.
-- I am not.

-- You are, too.
-- You guys need me
for this fight?

-- No.
-- No, we're fine.

How am I conversationally
anal-retentive?

Let me answer that
question in four parts

with the fourth part first
and the third part last.

-- The second part
has five syllables.
-- All right, all right,
all right.

Hey, did you talk
to the sound guys

about the Rostenkowski
effects for tonight?

-- The crash-and-burn
sound? Yeah.
-- Yeah.

-- And?
-- They said they don't have it.

-- They don't have
the crash-and-burn sound?
-- They don't have it.

Well, did you make
the sound for them?

Yes. Hey, Elliott,
who's the leading scorer
in the Portland game?

-- McManus.
-- Okay.

You made the sound
for them, and they
didn't have it?

-- That's right.
Uh-huh.

Kim, where are we
on Sergei Fedorov?

-- When did you need that?
-- Now.

[ lmitating tires screeching,
crash and explosion ]
Urrr! Pukkkk!

-- That sound?
-- Yeah.

-- Really?
-- Yes.

Make the sound
that you made.

-- Casey, I made the sound.
-- Make it.

[ Soft, high-pitched
imitation ] Urr! Ksss!

-- Ah...
-- What?

That's not the sound.

That's the sound.

Chris...Will...

Be with me now.

[ lmitating tires screeching,
crash and explosion ]
Urrr! Pukkkk!

Crash and burn.

-- Can you do it?
-- Got it.

[ Dana gasps ]

[ Knock on door ]

Excuse me. Danny?

-- Jeremy.
-- Am I interrupting?

-- I thought you were asleep.
-- Huh?

Dana said you were asleep
in her office.

No, I've been, uh, running
some stats through a program.

I'm trying to chose
an appropriate restaurant.

Listen to me, seriously.
You gotta get some sleep.

I once stayed up 72 hours
straight studying for
a Biochem midterm.

-- You know
what happened next?
-- No.

Me neither, man,

'cause I passed out in
my girlfriend's dorm room.

I didn't wake up
until, like, graduation.

-- How'd you do on the midterm?
-- I aced it, but
that's not the point.

-- What's the point?
-- You're running stats
on restaurants?

I want to take Natalie
to dinner, and I want
to do it right.

I wrote some software that
helps me factor in menu,
ambiance, location,

any number of elements
that can be translated
into binomial functions.

It's based on the fourth
generation of L7 software

that runs with the old
Omni applications.

It doesn't allow for trends,
and it's not as fast
as I'd like it to be,

-- but it's...
-- Hang on, hang on, hang on.
Time out.

Let me just get this
straight here. I'm sorry.

You designed
some software?

-- Just an application.
-- Jeremy...

See, Dana seems to think
that I could help Natalie
out if I take her to dinner.

-- Dan, this may be my only
chance with Natalie.
-- Listen up. Listen up.

-- You know what she likes, and
you know all the hot places
in the city.
-- Jeremy...

-- Please, help me pick
a restaurant --
-- Jeremy, listen up!

Okay.

You need to go to sleep.

It's dangerous...

Really.

Okay.

Make it someplace
that you like.

Restaurants --
they don't impress women
as much as we think they do,

and food always tastes
good on the first date.

You're not in Vegas,
and you're not in L.A.

You are in the most
magnificent city in the world.

It's the city of Gershwin
and Cole Porter,

Damon Runyon and
Fiorello La Guardia.

Surprise her, but
make her feel comfortable.

Make it different, but
make her feel at home.

But mostly...

make it someplace
that you like.

Where is that restaurant?

I'll let you know
when I find it.

Woman: Dan, we need you
in makeup.

Three minutes to air.
We're three minutes out.

[ lndistinct talking ]

Gordon: Hey, Casey.

Hey, Gordon.
What's happening?

Oh, boy, this place really
hops at showtime, huh?

It's like a real
television show.

-- Yeah, we got cameras
and everything.
-- Wow.

Honey, I gotta go
check on some things.

You don't have to talk to
Casey if you don't want to,

and if he says anything
you don't like,

you should feel free
to take a swing at him.

[ Chuckles ]
Feisty girl.

Yeah, she's a pip.

Oh, I gotta tell you, when
she wears that outfit --

I heard.

Oh, by the way,
for what it's worth,

I'm right with you on this
Rostenkowski thing.

-- Thank you.
-- It was a terrible call.

-- Lost the game.
-- I don't know how
he makes that call.

Any idiot knows you hand it
to Jermaine, you send him
up the middle.

Yeah -- well, you're
not gonna go up the middle

against an 8-man front,
but still...

Oh, still, maybe you run
a play-action fake,

you toss it off
to the tight end
out in the flat.

The problem with that is
that without establishing
a running game first,

-- no one's gonna bite down
on the play fake.
-- Oh, but still.

Still...

A post pattern,
a slant...

He'd be going against
a defensive back

who was second-team
All-American as
a true freshman.

-- What would you have called?
-- Me?

Yeah.

[ Sighs ]

The thing is, I haven't
watched film all week.

I haven't seen
scouting reports.

I don't have an
offensive coordinator
talking in my ear.

I don't have 80,000 fans
screaming in my face.

So it's easy for me --
I don't have
10 million people

watching at home on TV,
including a pack of
rabid alumni.

I've had three days
to think about it.

He had seven seconds.

So it's a lot easier
for me to make that decision
than it was for him.

But since you asked me
what play I would have
called, I'll tell you.

Now that I think about it,
I have no idea.

-- Gordon...
-- Huh?

Dana asked me to show you
to the greenroom.

Oh, thanks. Casey.

Gordon.

Hey, Dana...

-- Yeah?
-- Can you put in
an alternate 44

and stretch
the NBA rollout after
the second C-break?

-- I think so. Why?
-- I'm blowing off
the Rostenkowski thing.

We're live in 60 seconds.

Roll VTR.

[ Up-tempo instrumental music
plays ]

-- I'm blowing off
the Rostenkowski piece.
-- Attaboy.

-- I gave in.
-- Yes!

I saw the light.

Good.

I rose above myself,

and I did it for the
following three reasons --

We actually don't have time
for this right now.

30 seconds.

Dana: Let's go.
Have a good show, everybody.

...Iosing to fourth-seated
Monica Seles

in the second round.

Time for our weekly edition
of "You Should Know."

Daniel...

You know, here
at "Sports Night,"
we get a lot of mail.

Most of it goes
something like this --

"Casey, Dan, you two
obviously know a lot
about sports,

"but what can you tell us

about legendary ltalian
song stylist Tony Orlando?"

Well...

Group: You should know!

You should know that
Tony Orlando is not Italian,

and if you guessed that
the man was of Latin descent,

you'd be incorrect as well.

Mr. Tony Orlando
hails from Greece,

we thought
you should know that.

That just about does it
for tonight's show.
It's a holiday weekend,

so if you're driving out
to the stadium tomorrow,

please, please remember
to take your car.

Good night, everybody.

Good night.

We're out.

[ Laughing ] What
the hell was that?

Shh, shh, quiet.

That was supposed to be
Troy Aikman.

There was nothing
on the TelePrompTer.

So you ad-libbed
Tony Orlando?

-- It was all
I could think of!
-- Tony Orlando?

Listen, I had Natalie
write a new copy

to fill for the gap
Casey left when he pulled
the Rostenkowski thing.

The copy never made it
on the Teleprompter.

We screwed up,
and thanks for covering.

-- Is T ony Orlando Greek?
-- How the hell do I know?

Well, you can't deny
that Natalie's making things
interesting around here.

-- Not a word to Natalie.
-- All right!

That's enough.
You guys are still miked,
for crying out loud.

I can hear every word
you're saying.

-- Hey, Natalie, it's not
like that, really. We were
just laughing at --
-- Me?

-- Uh, Natalie...
-- Absolutely not.

Why not? Why aren't you
laughing at me?

Why aren't you mad
at me?

Dan, y-you just had to
ad-lib a 30-second segment
in the freezing cold,

and God knows what graphic
I put on the screen.

Look, all I want
is to get it right,

and when I don't,
I expect to be treated
like a professional.

I expect to be yelled at.

I want to be treated
like the show is
still important.

I want to be treated
like my job is
still important!

The show is important,
and your job is important.

-- Then why won't anybody
yell at me?
-- 'Cause we like you.

'Cause you're one of us.

'Cause you're always
there anytime one of us
is in trouble.

-- Like me.
-- Like me.

Like them.

-- And you.
-- And you.

-- When have I -- uh, uh!
-- Oh...

It doesn't matter.

The point is, when
someone's feeling helpless,

about the nicest gift
you can give is to
let them help you.

It's the gift of receiving
as opposed to giving,

and that's a gift
you're in a position
to give right now.

Does that make sense?

-- I couldn't follow it.
-- And was I talking
to you?

-- I'm going home.
-- Oh, Natalie,
don't go home mad!

I'm not mad.

Oh, Natalie...

[ lndistinct talking ]

Hmm.
He found it.

[ Chuckles ]

Jeremy...

[ Tapping ] Jeremy...

-- Wake up.
-- What?

Oh, God.

-- Did you do this?
-- Oh, boy. I...

Did you do this?

Yeah.

Is this for me?

Don't look at Dan.

Is this for me?

Yeah.

And this was meant to be
some kind of charity?

No, not charity.

I just wanted to do
something.

Why?

I like you.

[ Sighs ]

You look awfully
tired, Jeremy.

When was the last time
you slept?

I don't really remember.

Is that because of me?

Yeah.

Look, I'll
clean this stuff up.
It'll take a second.

Sit down.

Come on.

Lie down here.

Put your head here.

You guys have
something better to do?

-- No, not really.
-- I don't have anything to do.
-- No.

-- Oh.
-- Yes, I do.
I have a -- oh, God.

I have that thing --
that thing.

I'll see you
in the morning.

Listen, he's gonna be
asleep for a while,

and I wouldn't mind
the company.

You want to have
a drink with me?

Gee, yeah, I would,

but I've got Gordon
waiting in the greenroom,

and we're going out
to dinner.

I'll see you
in the morning.

Natalie...

-- Yeah?
-- You've been screwing up
all week,

and it's gotta stop.

Get your act together
and do it fast. Got it?

-- Yes, ma'am.
-- Good.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

[ Gershwin's "Someone
To Watch Over Me" plays ]

[ Rock music plays ]