All language subtitles for Sports Night - 01x04 - Intellectual Property

[ Up-tempo instrumental plays ]

Casey: And Tanana,
who obviously can't see

the end-zone marker
under the virgin snow,

breaks into his touchdown dance
on the 10-yard line,

only to be given
a geography lesson

by linebacker Marvin Watkins.

That's an incredibly
embarrassing moment

for any professional athlete,
so when we come back,

we're gonna show it to you
a couple of more times

if only so that I can keep
saying "virgin snow."

Dan: Stick around
for more "Sports Night, "
coming up after this.

We're out.

Two minutes back.

You know what?

We're gonna be 1 5 seconds
short on the Bucks/Pacers.

Jeremy, can you get Dan
something interesting
about Milwaukee?

I can tell you that it is not
the capital of Wisconsin.

And while that may be true,
I need it to be about the team,

and, oh, yeah,
I need it to be interesting.

-- I was just saying
for starters.
-- I got it.

Has anybody else noticed

that Casey's been flinching
a lot tonight?

He's been doing it
for a couple of nights.

-- Flinching?
-- Like a tic.
-- It's a flinch.

Casey, why are you flinching?

I'm not flinching.

Not now, but before.

-- More like a tic.
-- It's a flinch.

A flinch or a tic.
What's going on?

-- There's a fly
in the studio.
-- A fly?

Yes, a big one. It's been
in here about three days now.

Dave, there's a fly
in the studio?

-- I'm not seeing it.
-- Casey says there's a fly.

Is there a fly
in our studio?

-- I'm not hearing anything.
-- There ain't no fly.

Casey, there's no fly.

Dana, there is a fly in the
studio the size of a bald eagle,

and every time he buzzes my head
on a flyby,

it's like a sound check
at a Black Sabbath concert.

You're not picking this up?

Dan, is there a fly
in the studio?

Let him work through it.

Isaac, I see you're smiling
and holding a ratings book

both at the same time.
What do we know?

We're not number one,
we're not number two,

but we picked up a point
and a half with men 18 to 49,

and we took it evenly
from Fox and Bristol.

Plus I'm always smiling
this time of night.
You know why?

-- Double Chivas on the rocks?
-- That's right.

You hear that?
We're still number three.

Here we go.

The attendance
at tonight's game, 1 1,323,

is exactly the same
as the population

of Hoisington, Kansas.

Okay, Dan,
here's the thing.

You're gonna be
15 seconds short on
the Bucks/Pacers game.

I have two options for you.

Option one
is that the attendance
at the game, 1 1,323,

turns out to be exactly the same
as the population of...

Hoisington, Kansas.

Hoisington, Kansas.

And option two?

Talk slower.

Boy, it's almost hard
to believe we're in third place.

Oh, yeah, I'm in pain.
I'd say this is pain.

Elliott, can you get me

a recruiting file
on Conference USA?

Very sure I'd call this pain.

-- Just football or...
-- Football/basketball.

I'd say this is a pain

that was gonna last
well into the new year.

-- What happened?
-- Not important.

They told me that if
I took care of my body,

my body would take care of me.

I need the last three years.

I took care of my body,

and my body just deserted me
at that moment.

No, your brain
deserted you, Casey.

Your body was fine.

I have a broken ankle.
You're not concerned

-- I have a broken ankle?
-- Where does it hurt?

In my ankle, Danny.
It hurts in my ankle.

-- You shouldn't move it.
-- I can't move it.

-- Well, then, you're all set.
-- [ Telephone rings ]

Hey, if that's Dana,
I'm not here.

-- Why would it be Dana?
-- I'm saying it could be Dana.

It could be a lot of people.
Hello?

-- It's Dana.
-- Hey, I'm not here.

Yeah, he's right here.
What do you need?

No, he's not flinching
or anything. He seems fine.

-- I'm not fine.
I have a broken ankle.
-- We got that off the wire.

Hey, tell her
I have a broken ankle.

Casey says he has
a broken ankle.

Yeah.
Now tell her it hurts.

He says it hurts.

Yeah. Now make this part
sound dignified and heroic --

'Cause he kicked a fire hydrant
on his way back from lunch.

Would you stop talking
about it now?

'Cause he just found out
you were going to Vermont
this weekend with Gordon.

That is not why!
That is not why!

Yeah, he's walking around
pretty good now.

See you
at the afternoon rundown.

-- Well, thanks
for the teamwork.
-- No problem.

Well, did she say anything?

She said you shouldn't kick
fire hydrants.

-- I didn't see
the fire hydrant.
-- What were you trying
to kick?

-- I was trying to kick you.
-- Why?

You've known for a while now
that she's been seeing
this guy Gordon.

Yes.

-- You didn't tell me.
-- Right.

Why?

I thought you might be upset.
I can see now I was wrong.

Look, I'm not upset,
all right?

I've known Dana for 15 years.

She just does this kind
of thing from time to time.

-- You mean
have a personal life?
-- Yeah.

-- She does it
to make me jealous.
-- I don't think
it's gonna work. Do you?

My behavior is not motivated
by jealousy, Danny.

This is not jealousy.

What is your behavior
motivated by?

It's an emotion I'm having
a difficult time putting
my finger on at the moment,

but, uh, it'll come to me.

Dan, I just got a call
from a woman named Malory Moss
in business affairs.

She needs to talk to you
about some accounting.

All right, tell her
it'll have to wait, okay?

Casey and I are doing
some work right now.

Ankle pain, ankle pain,
ankle pain.

-- I'll be right there!
-- Oh, God!

You know something?
I can't think of the last time
I had a good idea.

This segment's a good idea.

It's not a really good idea.

It's a fine idea.
It's a regular idea.

You have good ideas a lot.

I find myself saying,
"Natalie's got a good idea."

But you also
find yourself saying,

"Natalie, if you screw that up
again, I'll set you on fire."

That's true, too,
and yet it's the good-idea thing
I'm focusing on right now.

Do you like this shot here?

All I'm looking at
is the Pepsi sign.

Moving on.

What was the last
good idea you had?

When I got up this morning,
I decided not to stick
my hand in the blender.

-- That's what I mean.
-- [ Laughs ]

How 'bout this?

That's good.

I think the way
you're handling the Casey
situation is very good.

The Casey situation?

I'm calling it
"the Casey situation."

-- It's not a situation.
-- It's a bit of a situation.

-- It's not at all a situation.
-- I've already named it.

You know, from, like,
the second Casey and Lisa
split up,

everyone in this office
is convinced that I have
a strategy

-- for getting Casey
to fall in love with me.
-- You're wrong.

We knew you didn't have
a strategy,

and we're glad you've finally
come up with something.

I have not come up
with something.

Well, at least
you're asking for help.

Natalie, I am not employing
a strategy.

You're going to Vermont
for the weekend with Gordon.

Yes, I am.

-- And you bought new lingerie.
-- Yes, I did.

And you went out of your way

to make sure Casey knew
you bought new lingerie.

-- I did not!
-- Right. That was me.

-- Natalie!
-- Well, let's get this show
on the road already, huh?

There is no show,
and there's no road.

You're going to Vermont
with Gordon and new lingerie.

Yes, I am, because I choose to,

and there's nothing sinister
about it.

I like Gordon,
and I like Vermont,

so I am going with Gordon
to Vermont,

and I'm taking
new lingerie for me.

This is for me.

Well, I gotta say, you got Casey
right where you want him.

[ Knocking on wall ]

-- Hi. Excuse me.
-- Oh, hi.

I'm Dan Rydell.
They said you wanted to see me.

Yes, yes, I do.
Hi, I'm Malory Moss.

I just started this week,
so please pardon the mess.

-- That's fine.
-- [ Grunts ]

Look, there's a revolving door
here on business affairs,

and I go through this
with all the new people.

My out-of-town expense sheets
tend to be a little unusual.

Yes, I noticed,
but that's not the problem.

-- What's the problem?
-- During your broadcast
on September 5,

you sang "Happy Birthday"
to your partner, Casey McCall.

Yeah, but I can explain that.
I --

Wait. It was his birthday.
Why do I have to explain that?

You sang "Happy Birthday"
on the air.

-- Dana cleared it.
-- Who's Dana?

Dana Whitaker's
the producer of the show.

Ooh, yes.
Well, my predecessor
didn't clear it.

-- Who's your predecessor?
-- Marty Sheinbaum.

-- Who's Marty Sheinbaum?
-- My predecessor.

Look, I don't have
a whole lot of time --

Listen, I think it's sweet

that you and your partner
sing to each other
on television.

Others may think it's vaguely
gay, but I disagree.

Thank you.

-- Nonetheless,
you can't do it anymore.
-- Why not?

-- It's against the law.
-- It's against the law
to be vaguely gay?

It's against the law
to sing "Happy Birthday"
on television.

-- That doesn't sound
quite right to me.
-- It is.

-- You went to law school
and everything, right?
-- Yeah.

-- You took the bar?
-- Three times.

-- It's against the law
to sing "Happy Birthday"
on television?
-- Federal copyright law.

-- "Happy Birthday"
is protected material?
-- Yes.

Who holds the copyright
to "Happy Birthday"?

The representatives
of Mildred and Patty Hill.

-- Mildred and Patty Hill?
-- The authors.

-- The authors?
They wrote the song?
-- They wrote it.

Did you think that song
just happened?

Well, yeah.

Oh. It didn't.

Live and learn.

Yes, indeed.

Would they be happy
with an autographed hat?

Yes, they would.

Great.

-- Along with $2,500.
-- I'm sorry?

They've billed the network
$2,500.

$2,500
to sing "Happy Birthday"?

-- Yes.
-- Ouch.

Intellectual property,
droit moral,

fair use,
royalty structure --

these things may not mean
anything to you,

but I assure you
they mean a great deal to me,

and they meant a great deal
to my predecessor.

-- Marty Sheinbaum.
-- Marty Sheinbaum.

You know what?

From now on,
I am only singing songs
in the public domain.

-- That'll teach 'em.
-- I'm not kidding.

Go knock 'em dead.

[ Telephone rings ]

Jeremy...

-- Right here.
-- Would you follow me, please?

What's up?

I hold here in my hand
a tape of last night's show.

I will put it in the VCR,

We shall fast-forward
to the portions where I flinch,

and you will see in the tape
that there is a fly.

I don't think
this is really necessary.

You will bear witness.
You will bear witness,

and you will tell everyone
that I'm not crazy.

-- I don't think anyone
thinks you're crazy.
-- I think they do.

-- I'm sure you're wrong.
-- Well, it feels like everyone
thinks I'm crazy.

I have a lot of experience
with that feeling.

-- Yeah, I'm sure you do.
-- Yes.

Okay, right here --
right when we come back
to this scene --

you're gonna see clear as can be
that there is a fly
right here.

Where the hell's the fly?

Well, why don't I just tell
everybody that I saw the fly?

-- Look, this isn't in my head.
-- Of course it's not.

-- No, seriously.
-- I know.

There's a fly in there.

Maybe he only makes himself
visible to you.

Maybe he only makes himself
visible to me?

Like the rabbit in "Harvey."

-- No, no, this isn't like
the rabbit in "Harvey."
-- Of course it's not.

-- No, seriously.
-- No, I know.

-- Jeremy --
-- I'm just saying
whether it's there or not...

you're making me believe
it's there.

-- It's there.
-- I believe it.

Good.

-- Can I say something?
-- Yeah.

-- Can I speak candidly
for a moment?
-- That's fine.

'Cause I'm the new guy here,
and I don't want to overstep
my bounds.

-- You're not.
-- I'm not overstepping
my bounds?

Your bounds are fine.
Don't worry about your bounds.

It just seems to me,
what with kicking fire hydrants

and your on-air hallucinations,

that you've gotten your head
turned around pretty good.

I'm not having hallucinations.

The fire hydrant got in my way,
and there's nothing wrong
with my head.

-- Good.
-- I'm not obsessing about Dana.

-- Dana?
-- Yeah.

Dana's my friend, Jeremy.
She's been my friend
for 15 years.

-- Oh, that?
-- Yeah.

Oh, as far as Vermont
is concerned,

it is my understanding
that the weekend

is almost entirely about sex.

Well, that makes me feel,
God, so much better.

Sure.

I-I'm not interested
in Dana.

I-I don't care
about her weekend plans.

-- Right.
-- No, seriously.

Call me if you find the fly.

You know, Landingham's
getting dumped.

It's either gonna be
Biselli or --

Oh, the guy from lowa state.

-- Kitner.
-- Yeah.
-- It's not gonna be Kitner.

It's gonna be Biselli,
but either way, it's time
to get this on the air.

-- You have sources?
-- We have a healthy hunch.

-- You have sources?
-- Not for attribution.

Get someone
to go on the record.

That's when we'll get it
on the air.

No one understands the value
of a healthy hunch.

Our lawyers understand
the value of a healthy hunch.

It's $400 an hour
plus court costs.

Get someone
to go on the record.

Now, what do we know
about the phantom fly?

It's not a phantom.

Fine.

-- It's not a phantom fly.
It's a real fly.
-- We believe you.

I'm like Tippi Hedren
in there.

Nonetheless, the flinching --

-- Like a tic.
-- It's a flinch.

Listen to me.

There is a fly
in the studio, and this is not
a normal-sized fly.

It's a jumbo fly.

It has made a habit now
of flying into my monitors
at a great velocity.

You would think
that at this velocity
it would blow apart on impact,

but apparently this fly has
some sort of protective coating

that allows it
to come right back at me.

-- Protective coating?
-- Yes.

Does the fly have
any other special powers?

No.

Well, Jeremy thinks
it might have some sort
of stealth capability.

Dana?

We'll brush the studio.

That's all.
Final rundown's at 10:00.

-- Hey, lsaac, you got a second?
-- What's going on?

I got the
intellectual-property cops
crawling up my butt.

-- The intellectual-property
cops...
-- Yeah.

...are crawling up your butt?

The heat's all over me.

What the hell
are you talking about, Dan?

I sang "Happy Birthday"
to Casey on the air.

When?

Well...on his birthday,
lsaac.

Oh, sure.

The network's being charged
$2,500 by the copyright holder.

Someone holds the copyright
to "Happy Birthday"?

The representatives
of Patty and Mildred Hill.

-- Took two people
to write that song?
-- Go figure.

The important thing is
I'm putting together

a list of songs
in the public domain,

and I'm asking each person
to pick a song

they'd like to have sung
to them on their birthday.

Why are you talking to me?

For you, I've boiled it down
to two choices --

"Jammo, Jammo"
by Giuseppe Verdi

or "Yo-Ho-Ho,
And a Bottle of Rum!"

Are you on any medication
right now?

I'm gonna go
with the Verdi.

[ Snaps fingers ]

If you freeze-frame
this shot here -- right --

and lose the Pepsi sign,

you spot-shadow
the right inside linebacker,

then cut back to movement
on the whole field. That works.

Jeremy,
Dana's got me thinking.

When was the last time
you had a good idea?

-- It was right then.
-- That's not what I mean.

-- It was a good idea.
-- I was talking
on a grander scale.

-- I see.
-- I mean, a good idea
on the grand scale
of human experience.

-- Yes.
-- When was the last time
you had one?

-- A good idea on the grand
scale of human experience?
-- Yes.

You understand I'm
saying we spot-shadow
the inside linebacker?

-- Yes.
-- That doesn't count?

I feel like a freeloader
sometimes,

Ieaving the good ideas
up to other people.

I feel like I'm
standing on the shoulders

of generations past.

-- Do you know what I mean?
-- Yes.

-- Really?
-- My grandfather
invented the clipboard.

-- Did he?
-- Well, he didn't invent it,

but he always used to complain
that he didn't have
a portable writing surface.

-- I don't think
you're getting it.
-- Yeah, I don't think so.

I am certain
beyond any doubt

that if Dana and Casey
got together as a couple,

they would both be very happy.
I think that's a good idea.

-- It's a virtuous idea.
-- You don't think
it's a good idea?

-- Well, I'm not
really one to --
-- Tell me what you think!

-- It's a bad idea.
-- Look who's talking.

You want to spot-shadow
the outside linebacker.

-- lnside linebacker!
-- They are meant
for each other!

-- The inside
and outside linebacker?
-- I meant Dana and Casey.

I think the inside
and outside linebacker
have a better chance.

12-for-19 from the field,
1 1 rebounds, 13 assists --

add it all up, and
it's what the old folks call
a triple-double.

It's what the Germans call
a dreifach verdoppeln.

In Japanese,
it's toripuru daburu,

and it's rawa engwa eu

for those of you who speak
the ancient language
of Acadian.

You're watching "Sports Night"
on CSC, so stick around.

-- We're out.
-- 60 seconds back.

The ancient language
of Acadian?

That was me.

Hey, Dana,
I was seeing you got
a birthday coming up,

and I was wondering
how you'd feel about
"Oh! Dem Golden Slippers!"

Just go with it.

Yeah, that's fine.

By the way, you know what
you got me for my birthday?

A box of Mallomars.

-- You like Mallomars.
-- I love Mallomars,
but these weren't
$2,500 Mallomars.

-- They were good Mallomars.
-- They were fine Mallomars.

All I'm saying is you
could have had the four
remaining Spice Girls

serve them to me in hot pants --
I still say I got gypped.

10 seconds.

-- How's your ankle?
-- Broken.

You know what?

"Fr�re Jacques" for you
on your birthday next year.

One chorus.

Dave: In 3...2...

That's all for this edition
of "Sports Night."

Tune in on Monday night,
and we'll have the NFL, the NBA,

and all the college ball
you can handle.

I'm Dan Rydell.

For Casey McCall
and everyone here at CSC,
thanks for joining us.

Have a good weekend.

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

Vermont!

Gordon just called from his car.
He's downstairs.

I'm on my way.
I am on my way to Vermont.

Five hours from now,
I shall be in Vermont.

Do you know what I'm doing
right now?

-- Going to Vermont?
-- That's right.

-- Dana's leaving.
Go say goodbye.
-- I have things to do.

-- What do you have to do?
-- I have to take off
my earpiece.

Ow!

The Green Mountain state.
Maple Syrup.

Want me to bring you back
some maple Syrup, Chris?

-- I've got maple syrup.
-- I need maple syrup.

-- Maple syrup for Will.
-- Oh, no, wait.
I've got maple syrup.

No maple syrup for Will.

-- Good night.
-- Good night, guys.

-- Good night.
-- Good night.

Good night.
Have a good weekend.

-- I will.
-- [ Mumbling ]
Yeah, I bet you will.

-- What was that?
-- I said I bet you will.

-- You bet I will?
-- Yeah.

What does that mean?

Well, it means that if
someone were to offer money

against the possibility of
your having a good time
this weekend,

I would take that action.

I'm gonna have a good time
this weekend.

-- I bet you will.
-- Stop saying that!

Dana, I want you to go
to Vermont.

I want you to have a good time.
I'm all for it.

Really, I am, except
for this -- I don't
think you should go.

Don't do this.

-- Who's Gordon?
-- Gordon's my friend.

He's nothing
anyone needs to worry about.

Aztec Two-Step, "Turandot"?

Have you been following me?

-- No.
-- Have you?

I have not been following you.
I'm not 10 years old.

I looked at the calendar
on your desk.

I can't...believe...

Saturday the 2nd,

Aztec Two-Step
at the Bottom Line with Gordon.

Sunday the 10th,
"Turandot" with Gordon
at Lincoln Center.

And I'm assuming, although
your modifier was dangling,

that you're going with Gordon
to see "Turandot,"

you're not going to see Gordon
in "Turandot."

-- Yes, that's right.
-- So?

So knock it off.

-- Knock what off?
-- This. This.

Knock it off.
You've been doing it to me
since college,

and we're not doing it
anymore.

We're not doing what anymore?

Every time your life starts
to spin out of control,
you come after me,

and you make me feel
like you feel a certain way

when you really don't.

You did it in college,

you did it in Dallas,
you did it in L.A.,

and you're doing it now.

I don't think you're cute,
I don't think you're funny,

I don't think you're smart,

and sometimes I don't think
you're very nice.

You don't think I'm funny?

I'm leaving now.

I apologize for nothing.

Well, that's not true.
I apologize for some things,

but not a lot of things --

a few things,
several things.

I apologize
for about half the things.

-- Good night.
-- W-What do you want from me?

-- I married Lisa.
-- Yes, you did.

-- Well, now
I'm not married to Lisa.
-- Lisa was a friend of mine.

-- Lisa can't stand you.
-- Lisa can't stand you.

Lisa can't stand Lisa.

Whatever the case,

your life is changing faster
than you can manage.

You're depressed,
you're angry, you're lonely,
and you're frightened,

but, God, everything
will be fine if I could
just see Dana naked.

Oh, Dana, believe me, I have
no desire to see you naked.

Excuse me?!

-- That came out wrong.
-- Make it come out right.

-- Look, of course
I want to see you naked.
-- Louder.

-- [ Louder ]
I want to see you naked.
-- I can't hear you.

I want badly
to see you naked!

Yeah, you better want
to see me naked!

Look, you know what I do

when my life is starting
to spin out of control?

I buy a new lamp.

Every time I'm starting
to lose it just a little,
I buy a lamp.

Well, you must have
one well-lit apartment,

'cause, lady, you turned
a corner somewhere.

I'm not the one being hunted
by an imaginary insect!

A fly isn't an insect.

Of course it's an insect.

-- Well, what is it
that isn't an insect?
-- A spider.

-- That's right.
-- So, while I appreciate
the attention,

you and I know
that it's not about me,

it's about you being
a lunatic!

Look, Dana, you seem to be
under the impression

-- I'm harboring
some kind of love for you.
-- No!

You're under that impression,

but I know that it's in
your head, just like the fly!

"A" -- I am not feeling
what you think I'm feeling.

"B" -- If I were feeling
what you think I'm feeling,

it wouldn't be in my head.

And "C" -- You have
serious feelings for me

that only now are you
being forced to confront

and that will likely send you
into a lamp-buying frenzy.

Okay, let's review this.
I don't think you quite
have this.

I have utterly no feelings
for you whatsoever!

You are monumentally
interested in me,

only you're not,
'cause it's all in your head!

-- Like the fly?
-- Like the fly!

Okay, so just to sum up,
you're critically deranged!

You know what I'm taking
with me to Vermont?!

A team of world-class
psychiatrists?!

Black lingerie -- lots of it!

I'm gonna have a good time!

I bet you will!

Knock it off!

[ Breathes deeply ]

You know
what I'm talking about,

and it is not fair to me.

It's not good for you...

it's not good for me,
and it's not good
for the show,

so knock it off.

[ Door opens ]

-- Dana?!
-- Hey, sweetie.

Oh. Hey, I was waiting
downstairs.

I thought something
might be wrong.

No, sorry.
I was just tying up
some loose ends.

Well, that was worth
waiting for.

Hey, Gordon.
Casey McCall.

Hey, great to meet you.
I'm a big fan.

You guys are gonna get
about 8 to 10 inches

of new powder up at Sugarbush.
I checked the wire for you.

Hey, cool. Thanks.

Yeah. No problem.
Have a great weekend.

All right.

So...are you ready to go?

Yeah.

I, uh, left my bags
by the elevators.

[ Fly buzzes ]

Son of a gun.

[ Rock music plays ]